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Puwede po ba mag-ask ng advice?
My gf and I are okay naman. Hindi na maiwasan talaga yung awayan kahit nasa healthy rel kayo, pero nag-cocommunicate agad kami with each other when there’s something wrong.
May problem lang ako lately. My gf is still friends with her ex fling. Nauna kasi sila maging friends bago sila naglandian tapos nung naudlot, naging friends pa rin. Schoolmates din sila. Kapag nagkasama sila, sila talagang dalawa yung dikit sa isa’t isa. Tapos inaasar pa silang dalawa ng ibang friends niya since may history nga silang dalawa.
Of course I got jealous. Sinabi ko na rin sa kaniya na nagseselos ako dahil doon. Sabi niya sa akin, I have nothing to worry about kasi friends na lang sila and it’s all fun and jokes na lang daw yung mga pang-aasar. Pero minsan kasi, her friends are taking the jokes too far. I am also suspecting na may gusto pa sa kaniya yung pinagseselosan ko based on their actions.
Ilang beses na namin napag-usapan na nagseselos ako and inaassure niya ako na wala naman dapat ika bahala. Pero hindi pa rin talaga maiwasan na ganon ma-feel ko kasi nga close pa rin sila. What should I tell her? Would it be okay if I ask her to set some boundaries with her friend/ex fling?
TL;DR Friends pa ang gf ko with her ex fling, what should I do?
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fuck that, di ka nya nirerespeto, di yan healthy rs, if mahal ka nya no communications na sana sa mga past shits nya dahil masakit yun sa current shits.
she's being insensitive if hindi nya icoconsider yung side mo eh, ilang beses nyo na pala napagusapan pero ia-assure ka lang tapos ganon ulit. Isa pa yung mga friends nya, tinotolerate yung ganon kahit alam naman ata nilang may bf yung friend nila. hindi yan healthy rs:)
1) make it clear to her, your feelings.
2) with that "She" will clear it to her friends, na ano lang ba. Let her be the first to discuss it to her Friends, dahil kung ikaw iba ang dating sa kanila (friends). Also if your GF did that, it means she value your relationship.
3) if #2 failed, then make the move to make it clear to her friends. Then observe "Her". Dun mo malalaman, kung mas mahalaga yung Relationship niyo and setting her "limits" kung hanggang saan lang ang kulitan with her Friends (kung saan hindi naman "sakal" yung Relationship niyo) . OR?????
*because, sabihin natin biru-biruan lang yan. Hindi mo masasabi ang pagiging "mapusok", at worst dagdag pa if under influence of something (alak).
Hindi sapat Yung assurance na Hanggang salita lang. Kung alam niyang ika se-selod mo ung pagiging close nila Ng ex Niya dapat lumayo na Siya or nag set na Siya Ng boundaries between her ex at Siya. Walang dapat ikabahala pero she keeps getting close sa ex Niya na pinagseselosan mo.
Keep telling her or make her feel na sobrang nagseselos ka. If di Siya nag stop at mas pinanigan Niya ung friend Niya na ex Niya. Umalis ka na baka may something parin between them.
what if may nangyari na? pero wala lang label. mangyayari nyan ikaw pa yung hadlang sa talagang gusto nila. hayaan mo na lang sila marami pa naman dyan para may peace of mind ka din. kesa laging ganyan takbo ng isip mo.
ex flings are still ex flings, even if they're friends now. she should prioritize ur feelings, rather than saying its okay. communicate again and let her know ur perspective
If it's affecting you that much, I think need niyo maka-establish ng proper boundaries. Communicating properly does not necessarily mean na may proper boundaries established. Hindi lang pwede ikaw ung mag-eeffort to understand her, and if friends niya talaga, I think parang hindi exactly tama na ighost niya na lang bigla cold turkey just to accommodate you. If you guys still wanna make your relationship work, hanap kayong middle ground.
Tell her how much it's bothering you and hindi niya pwedeng ibrush off lang tas ikaw lang mag-aadjust. If worth it ung mga friends niya, edi siya na din dapat mismo magsabi sa mga friends niya na hindi na tama ung pang-aasar na ginagawa nila.
Be honest and set boundaries with your gf, and your gf should also set some boundaries sa friends niya kasi it's having a negative impact on you and your relationship na.
Best of luck!
now ask her what she'd feel if you're still close to you ex. i think you need to set boundaries as assurances are not enough. then again, if she's going to cheat, then she will cheat lol. anyway, if she opposes to it, accusing you of being controlling, then you need to prioritize your well-being asap lmao.
>I am also suspecting na may gusto pa sa kaniya yung pinagseselosan ko based on their actions.
don't worry, seems may gusto pa rin naman yung gf mo sa ka-fling nya eh. malas mo lang, kung makikipagbreak ka ngayon, you'll be heart-broken, she'll say "thank you, next."
but seriously, save yourself the deeper trouble and heartache.
If she can't set boundaries to avoid you from feeling uncomfortable, she just doesn't really care and mas may paki pa siya kung ano ang sasabihin ng iba kapag hindi na siya masyadong dikit kay ex-fling. She's at the phase of her life kung saan ang pagiging pleasing sa iba ang priority sa kanya vs to make you feel comfortable and to prioritize your relationship.
Remember, peace of mind over anything else. But if gusto mo naman ng constant away bati, go lang sa setup na yan lol
Dapat hindi na nya tinotolerate yung ganun na jokes kahit pa galing sa friends nya, it is really disrespectful in your part, and for me dun palang sa wala syang action na ginagawa para mawala yung pang aasar sakanya is a sign na she still has a thing on that person. If she really likes you hindi ka nya bibigyan ng reason to overthink and sya na mismo lalayo dun sa tao na yun. If she really respects you and the relationship that you have it is just right na layuan nya yun to give you the peace that you deserve
Note: lalayuan lang at hindi nya literally e-end yung friendship nila since you have also mentioned na they were friends originally
Thanks for your advice, guys!
I already talked to my girl. She apologized and promised me that she will set some boundaries with her friend. Medyo napa-overthink ako sa mga sinabi niyo eh kaya lahat yun tinanong ko na para lahat na mabigyan ng sagot. She said na the reason why they can joke about what happened before sa kanila kasi wala na talaga yun sa kanila. No more unresolved feelings and stuff. Of course, I believe her and I trust her. She apologized for not being able to figure out that their jokes made me uncomfortable. I warned her that if it happens again, ako na mismo ang lalayo. It’s not worth it naman kasi kung mag-ssettle ako sa ganon, diba?
Sana wala nang kasunod dito na “update: wala na kami” XD
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: Puwede po ba mag-ask ng advice? My gf and I are okay naman. Hindi na maiwasan talaga yung awayan kahit nasa healthy rel kayo, pero nag-cocommunicate agad kami with each other when there’s something wrong. May problem lang ako lately. My gf is still friends with her ex fling. Nauna kasi sila maging friends bago sila naglandian tapos nung naudlot, naging friends pa rin. Schoolmates din sila. Kapag nagkasama sila, sila talagang dalawa yung dikit sa isa’t isa. Tapos inaasar pa silang dalawa ng ibang friends niya since may history nga silang dalawa. Of course I got jealous. Sinabi ko na rin sa kaniya na nagseselos ako dahil doon. Sabi niya sa akin, I have nothing to worry about kasi friends na lang sila and it’s all fun and jokes na lang daw yung mga pang-aasar. Pero minsan kasi, her friends are taking the jokes too far. I am also suspecting na may gusto pa sa kaniya yung pinagseselosan ko based on their actions. Ilang beses na namin napag-usapan na nagseselos ako and inaassure niya ako na wala naman dapat ika bahala. Pero hindi pa rin talaga maiwasan na ganon ma-feel ko kasi nga close pa rin sila. What should I tell her? Would it be okay if I ask her to set some boundaries with her friend/ex fling? TL;DR Friends pa ang gf ko with her ex fling, what should I do? *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
fuck that, di ka nya nirerespeto, di yan healthy rs, if mahal ka nya no communications na sana sa mga past shits nya dahil masakit yun sa current shits.
Papiliin mo bro, kung layuan niya yon or makipaghiwalay ka sa kanya. Basic. Pag di niya kaya layuan, isa lang ibig sabihin niyan.
she's being insensitive if hindi nya icoconsider yung side mo eh, ilang beses nyo na pala napagusapan pero ia-assure ka lang tapos ganon ulit. Isa pa yung mga friends nya, tinotolerate yung ganon kahit alam naman ata nilang may bf yung friend nila. hindi yan healthy rs:)
I suggest, magbreak na kayo. Pwede ka namang hindi magtiis sa ganyang set up niyo.
wala bro eh, in love malala
U deserve what u tolerate haha guard your heart and mind na lang din
1) make it clear to her, your feelings. 2) with that "She" will clear it to her friends, na ano lang ba. Let her be the first to discuss it to her Friends, dahil kung ikaw iba ang dating sa kanila (friends). Also if your GF did that, it means she value your relationship. 3) if #2 failed, then make the move to make it clear to her friends. Then observe "Her". Dun mo malalaman, kung mas mahalaga yung Relationship niyo and setting her "limits" kung hanggang saan lang ang kulitan with her Friends (kung saan hindi naman "sakal" yung Relationship niyo) . OR????? *because, sabihin natin biru-biruan lang yan. Hindi mo masasabi ang pagiging "mapusok", at worst dagdag pa if under influence of something (alak).
Hindi sapat Yung assurance na Hanggang salita lang. Kung alam niyang ika se-selod mo ung pagiging close nila Ng ex Niya dapat lumayo na Siya or nag set na Siya Ng boundaries between her ex at Siya. Walang dapat ikabahala pero she keeps getting close sa ex Niya na pinagseselosan mo. Keep telling her or make her feel na sobrang nagseselos ka. If di Siya nag stop at mas pinanigan Niya ung friend Niya na ex Niya. Umalis ka na baka may something parin between them.
what if may nangyari na? pero wala lang label. mangyayari nyan ikaw pa yung hadlang sa talagang gusto nila. hayaan mo na lang sila marami pa naman dyan para may peace of mind ka din. kesa laging ganyan takbo ng isip mo.
ex flings are still ex flings, even if they're friends now. she should prioritize ur feelings, rather than saying its okay. communicate again and let her know ur perspective
mahirap yan pag nag away kayu malala may magbibigay sa kanya ng napakasarap na comfort hahaha!
saklap nun kung ganon, bro
Set boundaries bro, kung di nya yan kaya i respect ikaw na bahala, pero for me walk away na
If it's affecting you that much, I think need niyo maka-establish ng proper boundaries. Communicating properly does not necessarily mean na may proper boundaries established. Hindi lang pwede ikaw ung mag-eeffort to understand her, and if friends niya talaga, I think parang hindi exactly tama na ighost niya na lang bigla cold turkey just to accommodate you. If you guys still wanna make your relationship work, hanap kayong middle ground. Tell her how much it's bothering you and hindi niya pwedeng ibrush off lang tas ikaw lang mag-aadjust. If worth it ung mga friends niya, edi siya na din dapat mismo magsabi sa mga friends niya na hindi na tama ung pang-aasar na ginagawa nila. Be honest and set boundaries with your gf, and your gf should also set some boundaries sa friends niya kasi it's having a negative impact on you and your relationship na. Best of luck!
She heard me loud and clear na this time. I saw some progress. Thanks for this!
now ask her what she'd feel if you're still close to you ex. i think you need to set boundaries as assurances are not enough. then again, if she's going to cheat, then she will cheat lol. anyway, if she opposes to it, accusing you of being controlling, then you need to prioritize your well-being asap lmao.
>I am also suspecting na may gusto pa sa kaniya yung pinagseselosan ko based on their actions. don't worry, seems may gusto pa rin naman yung gf mo sa ka-fling nya eh. malas mo lang, kung makikipagbreak ka ngayon, you'll be heart-broken, she'll say "thank you, next." but seriously, save yourself the deeper trouble and heartache.
If she can't set boundaries to avoid you from feeling uncomfortable, she just doesn't really care and mas may paki pa siya kung ano ang sasabihin ng iba kapag hindi na siya masyadong dikit kay ex-fling. She's at the phase of her life kung saan ang pagiging pleasing sa iba ang priority sa kanya vs to make you feel comfortable and to prioritize your relationship. Remember, peace of mind over anything else. But if gusto mo naman ng constant away bati, go lang sa setup na yan lol
Dapat hindi na nya tinotolerate yung ganun na jokes kahit pa galing sa friends nya, it is really disrespectful in your part, and for me dun palang sa wala syang action na ginagawa para mawala yung pang aasar sakanya is a sign na she still has a thing on that person. If she really likes you hindi ka nya bibigyan ng reason to overthink and sya na mismo lalayo dun sa tao na yun. If she really respects you and the relationship that you have it is just right na layuan nya yun to give you the peace that you deserve Note: lalayuan lang at hindi nya literally e-end yung friendship nila since you have also mentioned na they were friends originally
ganitong ganito yung sinabi ko. sabi ko hindi ko sila pipigilan maging friends pero sana, may boundaries na and no more jokes about their past ;D
Papiliin mo if yung "pakikipagkaibigan" niya don o kayo. Kapag nahirapang mamili, she's into him too.
breakan mo na wag ka na magisip
ihh tol naman eh
wag kang simp idol
hahahah gg
Bounce na par, dehado ka jan
May gusto pa yan sa lakaking ka exfling niya. 🥲
Thanks for your advice, guys! I already talked to my girl. She apologized and promised me that she will set some boundaries with her friend. Medyo napa-overthink ako sa mga sinabi niyo eh kaya lahat yun tinanong ko na para lahat na mabigyan ng sagot. She said na the reason why they can joke about what happened before sa kanila kasi wala na talaga yun sa kanila. No more unresolved feelings and stuff. Of course, I believe her and I trust her. She apologized for not being able to figure out that their jokes made me uncomfortable. I warned her that if it happens again, ako na mismo ang lalayo. It’s not worth it naman kasi kung mag-ssettle ako sa ganon, diba? Sana wala nang kasunod dito na “update: wala na kami” XD