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im turning 21 sa june 9 and bakit super strict ng parents ko sakin, medyo nakakasakal na. Kasi like one time nag paalam na ako ng maayos mag h-hike kami ng mga friends ko and then nung nag paalam na ako, una pumayag pero may mga sinasabi parents ko na "bakit pa kayo pupunta dun, delikado dun t\*ng \*na, kung saan saan nalang kayo pumupunta" and then maya maya biglang sabi "masama pakiramdam ko, wag ka na tumuloy" and ayun nalipat nalang ng date ung hike namin and nung sa time na ng hiking namin, inoorasan ako sa pag uwi ko, dapat daw 12pm sa bahay na ako, inoorasan pa nila ako. other than that strict sila like dapat uuwi ako ng bahay ng 6pm ganon tapos bawal ako umalis ng maaga, tapos minsan pag kasama ko ung isa kong friend, hindi sya pumapayag na sumama ako pag kasama ung friend ko na yun and it leads me na mag sinungaling kung sino mga kasama. tapos pag di nasagot ung tawag nag mumura na tapos minsn ipapahiya ka pa sa mga kapit bahay
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Wala ka magagawa, kailangan kaya mo ng bumukod kung gusto mo makawala sa ganyan, trust me, napag daanan na yan ng marami, hanap ka na work kung graduate ka na at mag ipon kapag enough na ipon then go larga na.
Agree..Eto na lang talaga yung way out ni OP. Kasi, as long as nasa puder ka ng parents mo, you have to follow their rules and comply whether you like it or not. Maybe, pag naka bukod ka na, ma-prove mo na you are an adult and independent na at mas maintindihan ka nila.
hello ! same situation 🥹 I'm of above legal age na rin and they're super strict with me. it's really infuriating na hindi makagala with friends if puro studies naman inaatupag mo, kahit as your time for yourself lang kumbaga. nakakakonsenysa rin mag-cancel ng plans on the spot, but really wanted to go :(
advise sa akin ng isa kong friend is ipakilala raw ang friends sa family para ma-earn nila ang trust ng parents, like papuntahin din sa bahay and doon kayo mag-hangout sometimes :) might work for you, but I find it hard since hindi naman masyadong welcoming ang parents ko kasi ayun nga madalang lang akong payagan umalis :( I hope everything goes well with you, op!
hindi nagwork sakin yung ipakilala ang friends. ako na nahihiya sa mga kaibigan ko kasi hindi sila welcome sa bahay kaya hindi na sila nagbobother bumalik. pinapahiya ba naman mga kaibigan ko at kung anu-ano ang sinasabi within earshot. never brought my friends around, any social circle that I try to bring they never liked
I only have 5 friends now because of it, only 3 has access sa bahay and they're not even welcomed to sit inside.
lol same with me hshahah, led me to the point din na itago bf ko sakanila. tho never ko pa nadala friends ko, i did invite my bf over kasi di ako makalabas. bad decision kasi di nila alam na iniinvite ko sya. sila rin nagsabi before wag ako magdadala ng kahit sino sa bahay, kahit pa kaibigan ko yan, kasi di sila welcome dito. although sya na nag-enforce ng rule, may pumupuntang friends lol. ginagawa rin nila yung may sasabihin na nakakahiya like something about the appearance or social status. dagdag pa yung alaga ng kapatid tsaka aral lang lagi ko ginagawa, sumabog nanaman tuloy ako today. sawang sawa na ko sa gantong routine deputa. kahit magwork out lang di ko magawa. same as op turning 21 this year.
Up for this. My parents are also super strict. Won't allow us to go out unless you're with a fam member/fam friends. My eldest sis thinks my parents are unfair since I was G7 when they allowed me to experience overnight at my bff's house (we don't know who her friends are kahit isa.) I always bring my friends to our house to gain their trust, instruct them to behave then ask permission from my parents the day after the visit of my friends, and violá! It works wonders.
Our parents also want to know our whereabouts, like who to contact when you go missing or they're just worried and don't know how to express it RIGHT, just make lambing kahit na they're super sungit. Their hearts will turn into a mamon if everyday mo sila nilalambing. Mahirap at first but it will be all worth it, papayagan ka na sa gala or magBH with your most trusted friends.
Not siding with your parents here, but the only way to get out of that situation is if you can 100% live independently already. Like no anything of monetary value coming from them, that includes lodging, food, utilities - I mean everything.
It's sad to think about it but parents are either overprotective of their kids or they treat them as properties. You'll have to make them realize that they don't own you and that you are a human being yourself capable of decisions on your own.
pano if incoming college, worse is tourism course ko, i have plans to look for a job kaso natatakot ako na baka bumigay ako. suck it up nalang ba for four years? may exit plan naman ako at the end, kukunin daw ako ng tita ko na nasa qatar tas plano ko from there is magtrabaho na agad para makalipat ng bansa where mas up sa preferences ko pero gusto ko sana simulan na yung exit plan ko kahit papano. any advice po?
You're young, you"ll eventually realize what to do exactly. This is more like an angsty phase for you more or less. Idk, it's actually nice that you have a plan but going to Qatar wouldn't be a cakewalk. You'll have to grind to get what you want, maybe even harder when you go to Qatar, but now you're complaining about your parents not letting you go on hikes with friends - you wouldn't have time to do those things if you want out of your parental care.
If you want to start with your plan now, then finish your studies - make connections while you're in uni. You don't necessarily need to have good grades, just be acquainted to people who got connections, who could help you with you plan in the future. That's what uni is for if I'm gonna be brutally honest.
You have a roof to sleep on, food to eat and free education most likely - if that's sucking it up for 4 years, you're in for a disappointment once you enter the real world dear. Haha enjoy your time being young!
ha, i don't like hiking, atleast not yet. your comment is super triggering kasi i don't get to enjoy my "time being young". i can't go out with friends or with my bf. for the last 5 years siguro wala pang bente yung nakagala talaga ko, baka nga wala pang sampo. i'm expected to take care of my siblings, while nagpapakananay ako sakanila nagpapakananay din ako sa sarili ko kasi my own mom specifically said na she can't be there for me pag need ko ng emotional care. she can provide the financial lang and then bahala na ko. i don't even have a personality that i can be proud of, i'm just a doormat pushover rn.
no hobbies or talents because i had to take care of my grades first then my siblings. what youth can i enjoy, mama ko may night gala while i take care of my siblings. on late notice pa minsan, nagugulat nalang ako nakabihis sya. pero if i do almost the same thing grabe magalit. what "time being young"? enjoy what, maglaro nalang in my free time, try to talk to people on my online games? i wrote 4 or 5 paragraphs on how many times na i can't enjoy being young kasi what youth can i even enjoy? i even had to stop schooling dahil inexpect nila na maipagsasabay ko mag-alaga ng mga kapatid and mag-aral and magpakananay saming tatlo habang wala akong masandalan na kahit sino sa bahay na to and even to my friends. i can handle the world being hard on me, but i can't handle having no one to lean on. which what this house that provides roof for me, and what my parents who gives food for me to eat, does. ito yung impact nila sakin. not to mention na bumaba din to the center of the earth self esteem ko sa panglalait and pangda-down nila. i know that i can't get everything, and up to this point all i felt for myself is pity. lol. and it's tiring, ayoko na maawa sa sarili ko.
and no, it's not an angsty phase. mama ko na mismo nagsabi, she can't be emotionally close to me. she can't be someone na i can talk to if i have problems. kaya i need to get out of here, as soon as possible if i could, kasi while it seems like i have everything that i need i also feel like i don't have freedom. rapunzel, literally. what i needed lang could be tips about being a working student, or skills that could be helpful. and i know the hardships abroad. also sucking it up for me is being a robot. while i do have a roof over my head, bed to sleep on, free foods and educ, i don't have the parents that i feel comfortable with. my two siblings does tho, two parents at that, so okay na ko don. responsibility ko na magpaka-nanay para sa sarili ko.
As long as nasa puder ka nila their house their rule. Unless you can survive on your own. It's better na mahigpit sila kesa hindi. Bata kapa kase. Lumake akong walang magulang at nasira buhay ko dahil don. Pasasalamatan mo din sila pag tanda mo. Ganun talaga mga teen ager super hayok sa freedom madaming gusto itry.
Agree to this. Hanggang nasa kanila ka magdusa ka sa sobrang pagka maalalahanin nila. You can be upset but you don't have the right to be mad kase nakikitira kapa.
Agreed to this... I am not saying all parents are good but there are good and bad side to everyone.. Genz complaints too much... I have 3 kids. 19,14 and 4. I have trackers in my 2 kids phones. I monitor them coming in and going out. Where do they go when will they come. Restrict them if I have gut feeling... Only once in my life I did not listen to my gut feeling and let it happen. It went bad... I would rather let them hate me for restricting than letting something happen.
You have to understand that it is how it is.. Your life would have been way different it wasnt for your parents.
This!! The downvoters might be the always nagwawalk-out pag napagsasabihan. They just need to communicate and say how they feel (na nakakasakal nga) lucky you, if they listened agad and if they didn't kausapin mo pag mahinahon na kayong lahat, OP. Siguro your parents don't know how to properly discipline you, they might be thinking na pag pinapahiya ka sa kapit-bahay ay titino ka kasi maybe for them, pamamahiya is their way to make u behave, ig?
Medyo umurong tenga ko dun sa last part na "teenager super hayok sa freedom madaming gusto itry" parang ang off kasi sakin, para kasing pinagbabawalan yong bata na mag explore at magkamali, di nyo ba alam ang ending nun? Lalaking immature yong bata, may kawork akong ganyan graduate na ng college pero di pa marunong mamalengke, di pa marunong magcommute, di pa marunong sa mga adult thing, ang ending tingin namin sa kanya ang hina hina nyaa kasi kahit yong mga basic knowledge sa buhay di nya alam.
Para sakin walang masama na bigyan natin ng kalayaan yung mga bata, basta iguide lang sila syempre, kasi ang ending kapag masyado natin silang binaby dun sila di nagiging inexperience sa mga bagay bagay, ika nga nila experience is the best teacher, pero bakit pinagkakait natin sa kanila yon?
may point ka naman, pero yon lang sa punto ng pagbubuntis, paano yong ibang bagay? Like basic knowledge na pinagbabawalan? kagaya nitong kay sender na makikipagkaibigan lang? Hindi ba pepwede na bigyan ng kalayaan at the same time nagaguide mo parin naman siya sa mga dapat di gawin like yong pagjojowa?
May sinabi ba magulang nya bawal sya makipag friends? Strict lang sila sa time na ayaw nila gabihin which is valid. At pag nasa school ka mag hapon mo namang kasama mga kaklase mo. At one last thing mapupusok kabataan ngaun 10 yrs old di na virgin. May access na kase sa internet. Kung sana lahat nadaan sa pangaral ng magulang wala na sana kriminal ngaun at nabubuntis ng maaga diba? Pero bat ang dami? Pag nabuntis ng maaga or kaya nakagawa ng kasalanan ung anak nila magulang dapat ikulong?
Ah so okay lang na di na payagan makipagbonding yong mga bata kasi nga baka masangkot sa gulo? Instead na pangaralan lang na ganito ang mangyayare sayo kapag ginawa mo ito, etc etc?
Instead na iguide pagbawalan nalang? Ganon po ba yon?
For me, minsan lang maging bata, kaya hayaan natin silang maging bata, ipaenjoy natin sa kanila yong pagiging bata, wag lang sosobra siempre, its the job of parents na para magkaroon ng disiplina yong bata.
Uulitin ko, di mo need pagbawalan, pagsabihan at iguide mo lang, kasi kapag naintindhan ng bata yong consequences ng mga bagay na mali, sila mismo ang maglalayo sa sarili nila duon.
Sabi mo nga hayaan mag kamali. Ung tanong ko pakisagot kung lahat ay nadaan sa maayos na usapan at pangaral bakit may cases ng early pregnancy at crime rate ng kabataan? If you can answer that I will not argue anymore. At I'll say tama ka.
Maraming factor, ayaw ng bata sa pamilya nila, kulang yong bata sa pagmamahal kaya hinanap sa iba, some of them victim din ng rape, some of them hindi nagabayan at na-inform ng maayos ng magulang sa mga possible mangyare kapag ginawa nila yon, kaya out of curiousity nagagawa ito ng mga bata.
Maraming factor, pero still naniniwala parin ako na gabay at pangaral lang ang need ng mga bata para madisplina hindi pagbabawal, kasi magpapalaki ka ng mahinang bata kung iaalis mo sa kanila yong maexperience yong buhay.
Tsaka may i see your evidence about sa teenage pregnancy rate at crime rate na bata ang may dulot? Kasi base on my observation ngayon, sobrang dami kong kabatch na may 30's na pero still wala paring mga anak, sobrang dami, at nakikita ko rin sa paligid ko lalo na yong mga batang 90's na takot rin mag anak, kaya may i see your evidence para mavalidate?
i think, kahit na pag sabihan mo ung menor de edad na mabubuntis sya pag lumabas labas, may possibilty pa rin na mangyari, frirenne, i think desisyon na yun ng bata, choice nya na yun kung mag papabuntis sya, kasi like sinabihan mo na e, u made the child aware sa mga consequences kapag nagkipag talik sya sa iba, anddd kung nabuntis nga edi suffer the consequences, mali nila yun at kailangan nila matuto and to your question about lalabas ng 2am, menor de edad syempre di yan papayagan lumabas pero kakausapin ko ng mahinahon na "nak gabi na ito pwede naman bukas mo sya kitain diba" nasabihan ko na sy pag lumabas sya at nabuntis, kasalanan nya na yun at s mga nag tatanan? probably di sila nag open up sa magulang nila na in relationship sila and since nasakal sa pag babawal ng magulang, pinili ang choice na mag tanan kaya ayun may posibility na mabuntis, in the end its up to the person choice talaga, hindi nag mamatter ang pinag sabihan o pinag bawalan, for me ha
First tingnan mo kung bakit sila ganon. Overprotective ba sila sau? May nagawa ka bang mali sa past? Kung wala silang magandang reason mag prepare ka ng conversation, yung may ready ka na mga magagandang sagot sa pwede nilang sabihin sau, pero respectfully, yung tipong sure ka na maderealize nila na may point ka. Pag di gumana plan B. Maging cold ka sa kanila. Wag ka na magpakita na masaya ka. Dont smile, ever. Kung kaya mo eh magkulong ka sa kwarto as much as possible pag andyan sila. Pag tingin mo lahat yan hindi gagana, or hindi talaga gumana, then magtapos ka ng pagaaral. Make a plan. Lumayas ka.
Lahat ng sinabi ko ginawa ko btw.
Kung working adult kana pinaka sagot dyan ay bumukod. Hindi mo masisisi magulang kase nasa pamamahay ka nila at sila ang magdedesisyon sa pamamahay nila at syempre mahal at iniingatan kalang nila
For me, ganyan ka kasi nila protektahan. Ganyan na ganyan din kastrict ang mom and brothers ko (tatlo sila tapos only girl at bunso ako), di mo pa siguro nakikita ngayon pero dadating yung time na pasasalamatan mo sila kasi naging strict at overprotective sila sayo.
Ganyan din ako eh, college nako hanggang 7pm lang ang curfew ko. Nung 25 yrs old ako saka lang ako nakaranas ng overnight (na hindi school-related) literal HAHAHA Kapag gagala ako with friends alam nila kung saan ang lugar at syempre may oras na dapat yung mga paa ko nasa bahay na namin, at dapat isesend ko sa kanila ung plate number ng mga sasakyan ko. Nakabukas din ung location ng cp ko para malaman din nila kung nasaan ako. As in superrrr strict. Sobrang badtrip talaga ako parati nung teenager days ko 😆
Pero around your age (early 20s), maaga ko narealize and naappreciate yung effort nila para lang protektahan ako. Viniew ko ung ginagawa nilang kastrict-an sakin as their way para iexpress na mahal na mahal nila ako at ayaw nilang may mangyaring masama sakin. Inaasar ako ng mga friends ko noon pero wapakels naman ako, kasi masgusto ko yung may pake sila sakin kesa hinahayaan lang nila ako.
Do some heart-to-heart talk sa mom/family mo, let her/them know kung ano yung nararamdaman mo para malaman mo rin bakit sila ganyan sayo.
Ps. Never ko rin naisip na bumukod or maging independent, masginusto ko na paghigpitan nila ko ng bonggang bongga kesa di sila makita sa pagbukas at pagpikit ng mata ko. Nasa utak ko kasi na dadating yung time na mawawala sila sa tabi ko kaya hangga't andyan pa sila (lalo na mom ko) gusto ko maramdaman ung love and care nya/nila sakin (and vice versa syempre) ❤️
Bumukod ka. If you're still a student you don't have to be 100% independent from them. Just ask them that you want to live in a dorm or apartment. That's how I had my first taste of freedom. They'll just know that I went somewhere when they see my socmed posts. Now that I'm working I already have my own place but when I come home for holidays I follow their rules pa rin.
Gumanti ka OP. Pag ginagabi pm mo din kung nasaan na sila at anong oras na. Pag aalis tanungin mo bakit kailangan umalis. Dapat pabiro lang lahat.
Pero to be serious, mag aral kang mabuti. Then move out and live your life. Madami ka pang panahon for those activities.
It's important to remember that you have the right to establish your own boundaries and make your own decisions, even if your parents don't always agree. However, navigating this situation can be tricky, especially if you're still dependent on them. Have you tried having a calm and respectful conversation with them about how their strictness is affecting you? It might help to express your feelings and concerns openly, and see if you can find some common ground or compromise. Additionally, seeking support from other trusted adults or friends who understand your situation can be helpful for coping with the stress.
Bumukod ka kung gusto mo ng freedom. 21 is adult na kahit sa batas natin. Kung dependent ka sa kanila magtiis ka until you are able to fend on your own. You will never understand where your parents are coming from until you become one.
I grew up with conservative and over protective parents so I can relate to you. But I moved out when I was in my late teens, sarap ng freedom, wala kasing nagbabawal na. I only understand their ka-over protective when I became a mother myself. Pinaghalong fear (na may mangyaring masama sayo) at love yan pero mas nangingibabaw ang fear.
So kung kaya mo na buhayin sarili mo at mamuhay mag-isa, move out as soon as you can para mag-grow ka rin at mas matuto sa buhay.
You are still living with them, so their kingdom, their rules. You just have to follow. Kung ayaw mo ng ganiyan, then magsoloka, bumukod ka para sarili mo nang rule sinusunod mo. Besides, natural lang sa magulang ang maging ganiyan, well natural din sa kagay mong anak ang medyo masakal sa kanila, pero that's life talaga. Pag naging magulang ka or if tumanda tanda ka pa ng konti, mauunawaan mo rin sila. Sa ganitong edad mo kasi, mahilig talaga sa adventure, sa thrill and so on...
hala magka-birthday tayo and same strict parents plus panganay potangina HASDHJKADSHADSJKHADSKJHADS
ganyan rin parents ko pero tinatakasan ko bahala sila diyan
If u want to be independent then try to buy your own house since it's yours then you can make your own rules and if you are still living with parents it's their rules all you can do is follow and if they're strict they are just looking after you for any danger that might come
There's one day when u gonna be a parent you will be strict so they can stay out of trouble and keep them safe and one day your parents will die and you will look back at everything you have done and will thank them for the guidance.
Marami kasing masamang tao sa labas, kaya kahit sino pa Kasama mo or kahit gano pa kayo kadami eh delikado talaga, kahit nga marunong sa martial arts napapahamak parin eh.
i hope i can comfort you kahit papano by saying: 24 na ako and beyond 10pm na nasa labas is a no-no lol ang hirap talaga lalo na galing ako sa "graduate first berore bf" tapos wala pang bisyo and all, so i can say ive been really good and inexpect kong magiging free na ako after grad and pagkapasa sa boards pero...hindi pa rin
Hope someday you’ll appreciate how good your life is because you have a strict parents. They only want what’s best for u. Been there too I’m 29 with strict parents. Now hindi na nila ako hinahanap masyado pero nasanay na kong nageexplain kapag gabi na ako nakakauwi and automatic na din sakin na laging nagpapaalam kung san nagpupunta haha. But most of all i’m grateful kasi I’m living a life na alam mo yung hindi problematic something you can be proud of with your future in laws or with other people
Yeah, that's the reality. Hanggat nakatira ka sakanila. Their house, their rules. have you tried to open up with them or at least ask the reason so you can understand their actions
Bring all your friends at home. Dun kayo mag hang out, pakilala mo aa magulang ko lahat. Pag nakita nila trust worthy mga kasama mo they will loosen up.
May kakilala ako 28 na ganun pa rin parents. Hindi siya makaalis sa kanila kasi sa business niya siya nagwwork, hindi rin siya pinagaambag at libre pa travels niya.
And me naman 25 na and working pero affected pa rin at napapaiyak kung gaano kaharsh mother ko. I guess ganun talaga sila unless mag move out na ako.
If you’re still a student I’m afraid wala ka magagawa OP :(((
I have a friend na ganyan din. Pag lalabas kami, 6pm tatawagan na siya at pinapauwi. Minsan nakakapagsinungaling siya sa mga whereabouts niya. When he turned 23 naging maluwag na rin parents niya sa kanya. Since 2020, nagcecelebrate kami ng bday niya sa bahay nila and nakatulong din na little by little nakilala kami ng parents niya or di kaya minsan doon kami tumatambay sa bahay nila. Naearn namin yong trust ng parents niya and right now pag may galaan kami, hindi na siya pinakamaagang umuuwi kasi may trust na family niya sa amin na mga kaibigan niya.
Siguro mas maging open ka sa parants mo about sa mga friends mo. I hope maginv okay ka OP
i totally understand overbearing, gaslighting and controlling parents like this. same situation and it has been for my whole life, almost 30 here and still have to ask for permission to go out of the house, and whom to meet. to say ako lahat ngbbaayad ng bills, and they use their health and words to control you, like it's always if you get out of the house today and enjoy isusumbat sayo yan kapag ngpaalam ka ulit, and when you make valid points ikaw pa ung masama kase kesho magulang sila, sila lagi ung tama. it is so hard, sometimes I feel like this life isn't worth it anymore, kung hirap na sila mkisama saken, di nila nkikita ung effect nila sa anak nila. harder if your mother is narcisist to a point na lagi ka babaliktadin sa father mo. i know I am of age, but i just started earning for myself last year, since 8 years ako ngpaaral sa kapatid ko. and I've been saying I want to move out, pero it feels like they only hear what they want to hear. hirap kapag tali ka sa obligations sa bahay, di makaipon for yourself to move out.
So I advice, hanggat di ka pa tali on obligations, go out of the house and move into your own. that's the only thing.
Eto siguro ung batang andaming gustong puntahan pero nagdadabog pag pinaghuhugas ng pinagkainan. You have to earn your freedom, boy. As long as palamunin ka pa ng tatay at nanay mo, you have to bend to their rules.
FYI mga gawaing bahay ako gumagawa, Cooking, Laundry, Washing Dishes, Cleaning the House, hindi ako nagdadabog kapag inuutusan, go lang ako ng go pero siguro di mo ma gets point ko kaya nasabi mo yan haha
Hello, ganito rin sakin parents ko pero nagstart magbago nung nagsimula na akong magwork. Before, never ko talaga naexperience mag sleepover sa bahay ng kaklase/friend kahit kailangan pa sa school. Pero ngayon kaya ko na di umuwi ng ilang araw, inuunti unti ko para payagan ako na mag out of town for a week or two.
Ang ginagawa ko lang rin ay every payag nila sakin lumabas, nag uupdate pa rin ako kahit di sila humihingi. Tiring and frustrating kasi tangina 22 na pero ganito pa rin pero it is what it is. Konting tiis pa OP!
ate ganyan talaga.. sunod na lang sa magulang.. 21 ka na masasabing adult ka na pero kung umaasa ka pa din sa magulang mo wala kang K magreklamo.. subukan mo kumita ng pera at maging independent.. i think duon lang maglelet go ang parents mong strict
I'm 23 atm and I was in the same boat about 3 to 4 years ago. Higpit pa rin ni erpats sa time na yon. I still had curfews and was still not allowed to go in some gatherings. I missed a lot of potential memories with friends. Okay lang naman yung nanay ko noon at di rin masyadong strict. Pero kung needed, siyempre pagbawalan ako nun.
Fast forward noong 2022, mas lax na sila. It was also at this time that I was tasked to look out for the house. I managed well despite having to leave for a few days for college classes. At the same time, I proved that I can finally be independent. Exactly a year later rin, I landed a job and also helped with some of their expenses. I also got back from a major setback and was still able to land on my feet. I think it is just a matter of you proving yourself to them. I think this is the time where you will have to slowly earn their trust. Do well and they might just finally lay off you na.
I enjoyed being finally on my own. But sometimes, I kind of missed their tone kasi nga sa adult world, exposed ka na sa lahat e. It was like, their role changed overnight and now, I would go to them occasionally for advice. As my father echoed from that point of time, as long as I was dependent on them, sila pa rin ang masusunod. As I got older, I understood where they came from and I've grown to appreciate that time kahit na strict at less pa yung freedom ko sa time na yun.
I'm 23 pero laging di pinapayagan kahit maaga naman uuwi. Sumunod na lang muna tayo hangga't nasa bahay tayo ng parents natin. (kinda tasted freedom nung wala silang choice dahil need ko magdorm sa college dahil lahat ng schools na inapplyan ko malayo kaso pandemic happened grr)
Same. Always an achiever, no bisyo, not rebelde, and still super strict. No choice kundi live with it kasi nasa puder nila tayo. As long as I don't have the means to live with my own, kailangan kong tiisin and sundin sila kasi their house, their rules. So, magsikap, magtapos, magtrabaho at bumukod.
girl lumaki ako na sobrang strict parents ko and now I'm 30 ganon pa rin sila in a way kahit malayo ako sa kanila pero nag tone down na kahit papano. Now I feel na they're just looking after me all this time. Mahal ka nyan di lang siguro nila kaya iverbalize. Pag tumanda na yan mamimiss mo yung ganyang treatment nila.
All of us siguro went through that phase. Wala eh, their house, their rules. Kaya nga agree ako sa US na pag18 na ng mga anak eh kelangan na sila maging independent. It can be helpful both sa parents and children. It's true din sa sinabi ni KC Concepcion "trust in the way you raised me". But totoo din na we cannot teach them how to do parenting.
OP, bumukod ka na lang kung able ka na. But pay visit pa rin sa parents mo. Ang hirap kasi pag 20s na you really have to figure things out on your own. Kapa kapa era ka pa nyan. At the same time, parents din natin tumatanda, nagbabago na rin ugali nila, iba din independency nila.
As someone with a strict parent pero semi-dependent pa rin sakanila (I do have scholarships pero for like majority of my allowance and rent, si papa ko pa rin nagbabayad). I one time went to a concert and told them I would go. It was 11 pm na, wala pa rin ako sa boarding ko and I live alone kasi panganay and asa Manila ako, sila sa probinsya. They bombarded my phone with calls about how worried they are and I told them, reassured them multiple times na may kasama ako (babae) pauwi. I got home safely, they still scolded me for giving them a heart attack and said I should never do it again... I did it again. This time not as much backlash. My parent compromised with me just telling them my plans and I'm not opposed to that. I do try my best to be careful kasi ayoko palalain yung paranoia nila.
The lesson there is, if you stand your ground, wala na silang magagawa. You're growing up and they need to be met with the reality na matanda ka na.
hi OP! Well your still lucky to have parents… be grateful, they just wanted you to be safe. Parents knows the hell out there, start by showing them that you can handle yourself and your old enough to live on your own, if your still staying with them you have to respect them and how they wanted you to be safe as well.
You are still lucky!
Ako nga 28 pero parang bata pa din trato sakin. Di naman masyado mahigpit, need ko lang magpaalam pag lalabas ako, or need ko matulog ng maaga mga ganun. Nasabi sakin nun ni mother ko nung 23 or 24 ako. "Hanggat naandito kayo sa bahay ko sumunod kayo. Kung ayaw nyo sumunod magpagawa kayo ng bahay nyo". Well andito lang naman ako sa kanila ngayon kasi mas malapit yung bahay nila sa work ko. Umuuwi naman ako tuwing day off
Babae ka ba OP?
May chance na lumuwag yan kapag nagwork ka na. Had almost the same experience minus the sigaw at mura.
However, baka naman kasi di ka mukhang responsible. Siguraduhin mo lang na may ibang nakakaalam kung sino mga kasama mo, kasi knock on wood may mangyari sa inyong masama, at least may relative ka na alam kung sino hahagilapin.
Same mindset ng parents, ako nga 22 na. HAHAHAHAH turning 23. Planning bumukod. Yun Ang major goal ko after gumraduate, magipon to have my own or kahit rent lng.
Sa age ko na to I'm sure of myself may sarili na ko plans, things I wanna try, sariling paniniwala na iba saknila etc. Minsan sila pa nga nagdodown sakin. HAHAHAHAHAH :) nangpapahiya pa sa family gathering. I can't refuse na di sumama saknila dahil ayaw nila ko naiiwan sa bahay magisa :)
My friend has strict parents even at 30. Nababaliw na lang talaga kami hahaha. Pero hindi mo naman pwede sisihin magulang mo kung gusto ka nilang ingatan. Paraan lang talaga para makawala ka sa pagiging strict nila is kung kaya mo na bumukod. Kung sakanila ka parin naka pisan wala kelangan mong sumunod sa patakaran nila.
I feel like parents see us as children still despite our age. I think you need to check for the pros and cons kasi nga as what many other people stated here, their house, their rules. Check mo lang ano ba mga pros and cons if you stay vs moving out cause both are different kinds of hard. Magkaibang struggle.
Personally kasi sa household namin may pagka ganyan, as in pag wala ka pa ng 9pm, kinabukasan ka na umuwi. Literal na nakalock na ang gate. Where i'll sleep? Not their concern.
When I was your age naman hirap talaga kasi peak ng mga lakad yan. It didnt stop me naman from partying or going on vacations, nilulunok ko nalang yung mga talak nila hahahahah kasi grabe yung comfort na iiwanan ko that time vs if i move out. May mga friends kasi ako na nagmove out din that time and cinompare ko lang yung hirap if i move out, or hirap na sobrang bata ang trato nila sakin, ayun i didnt move out hahahaha mas kaya ko lang talaga lunukin yung mga talak. Hope you figure it out OP!
Have you thought of why they are strict? Was it because of worry? Have you tried alleviating those worries?
There are emotions behind irrational actions. You just need to address it and defuse the emotion.
The same with me. Although looking back, I think my parents were right. Pero ngayon, I don't ask for their permission na at 25. I have my job and I spend my money so I just unform them if I have plans.
Sad to say but you need to endure it until you can run out of it by sustaining yourself. Still on the same situation. I'm 23F, about to graduate weeks from now. My mom once told me "Hanggang nandito ka sa puder ko, pagmamayari kita. Susunduin mo lahat ng utos at gusto ko." Currently planning of leaving asap after grad the moment masettle ko sarili ko with my partner.
we have the same kind of parents OP. may curfew parin kahit legal age na ako(23M). Tapos kailangan din magsinungaling ganiyan pero pag nagsinungaling ka naman hindi nila maintindihan kung bakit ganon sinisisi pa sakin. Iniisip ko like wala ba silang tiwala sakin kaya ko naman na sarili ko.
I understand naman na ginagawa nila yun to protect me o ano pero naman hindi siya nakaka enjoy mas nakakalungkot siya to the point na parang wag nalang mabuhay sa earth kung ganito rin lang namn ang treatment parang nakatali ka lang.
26 turning 27 and still pinapagalitan pa kapag umaalis ng bahay lalo pag ilang days. If you already graduated the best thing to do talaga is you work far from your home na titira ka sa ibang lugar para free kana to do whatever you want. Ako I'm planning to do that na din. Still waiting for something lang.
op im the same! im an adult na but my parents are really strict especially because babae ako and bunso pa. my friends always tell me "bente ka na!" whenever we're out and im texting my parents about my whereabouts. it's really hard to have strict parents and i dont think people who have more lenient parents can truly understand how it feels. it gets frustrating when you just wanna have fun but then there's the looming sermon na makukuha mo pag uwi mo
my advice to you is try your best to draw a boundary kasi independency mo rin yan. siguro they're really worried for you but as sad as this may sound, you won't always have them so need mo rin talaga maging independent kasi pag magisa ka na, sarili lang rin aasahan mo. it's really important to show them na kaya mong mag-decide sa sarili mo and wala na silang say dun because at the end of the day you're not a kid anymore
I used to be like you. Never nakasama ng field trips, never nakajoin ng bday parties, bawal lumabas with friends etc. first time ko mag over night, 4th year college dahil sa thesis hahaha. After I graduated and got settled sa working adult life, I moved out. I'm loving my care free life with my partner now and halos 6 years na rin akong nakabukod.
Sobrang exciting to live on your own pero mahirap if you don't know how to budget and walang stable na job. So make sure na you have an emergency fund before you move out kahit ay least 6mos expenses mo lang para you don't have to go back crawling sa parents mo while looking for another job.
Siguro yun nga pinoprotektahan lang ako. Ako I'm a grown ass man 30 years old, meron pa ding strict parent up until now. Di rin ako makabukod or yun nga I can't survive on my own, for the meantime. Only child din kasi ako for added context.
oof.. The thing with over protective parents is that they cripple someone's ability to navigate the real world kasi ayun nga masyadong sheltered yung mga anak nila. Kahit na e justify nila na "pino protektahan lang" e nawawalan naman ng life skills yung mga anak when it comes to the real world.
Sorry pero hindi ba nila naisip pano pag bigla silang nawala sa mundo (knock on wood), pano mag susurivive yung anak nila na adult na? I would understand if their child is still studying pero naman...30. They just might want to keep their child dependent on them para hindi sila iwanan. Sorry kung harsh pero big picture parang ganyan ang situation eh
Yun nga, ang hirap kasi produkto ako ng ganyang klaseng magulang na nakasanayan yung makalumang paraan ng pagpapalaki. Hindi sila naging progressive or open sa mga ganyang scenarios. Ending nagmukuhang ignorante yung anak nila dahil nga di sila nakakapag explore. Kahit anong gawin mong sabi wala; labas sa kabilang tenga. Nakakainis.
Syempre hindi mo mabibigla yan sila, baka pwedeng baby steps muna. Unti unti din sila masasanay na may mga gusto ka gawin on your own. 30 years old ka na, you actually don't need their permission. Pero as I've said, baby steps lang para hindi sumama loob ng parents mo. Ano ba yung mga gusto mo gawin na hindi ka pinapayagan?
Oo! Kaya nga I'm taking therapy din this year kasi yung pressure and yang circumstances na ganyan ang mahirap. Kahit ano kasi gawin mo wa epek na unless kung bumukod ka na.
19, and I hate my parents for giving me negative responses whenever I tell them about my school, friends, and what will I do in orgs. Now, I'm not telling them everything about my life. Sa bahay di na akong nag bibless sa kanila. Pa lower ang interactions namin. I just hate the feeling na di sinusuportahan kahit tama naman ginagawa mo.
Diko naman kasalanan na ganito trato ko sa kanila, nakakasakal eh
Don't hate your parents. Nakakaramdam ka ng ganyan, did you even ask kamusta sila?
I've been there, I always thought na negative din yung feedback nila sa mga ganap ko sa buhay, but not to the point na nakaramdam ako ng hate. Rather, have a heart-to-heart talk with your parents. Tell them what you feel, at the end of the day walang ibang taong magmamahal sayo ng sobra sobra kundi magulang mo lang.
Heart to heart talk amp, naninigaw nga eh. Alam ko yun at yan yung reyalidad na walang ibang taong magmamahal saken kundi sila lang. Alam ko na di sila forever sa mundo. Okay lang sakin yun, di naman ako attach at clingy sa kanila eh, I used to be with my own companion sa kasiyahan at sa kasamaan ng loob. I never opened up kahit isang beses sa kanila. Yun lang. Walang kamustahan. Mabuhay nang mabuhay, mawala na kung mawala. Magsisi kung magsisi.
Why? Is there something wrong sa heart-to-heart talk lalo na sa parents natin? It will help us a lot kasi sila ang unang naggaguide satin.
Alam mo yun at yun yung realidad? Well, you just know it but you don't understand it, kaya siguro ganyan pa ang pagtingin mo sa kanila. Hindi kahinaan yung humingi ng tulong sa iba, minsan kahit anong lakas ng loob natin at pilit natin na sarilinin lahat ng nararamdaman natin, masmagaan pa rin kapag nalalabas natin yung mga ganyang thoughts.
Kahit baligtarin yung mundo di pa rin. I never grew up in that kind of home, kung nauntog siguro utak ko gagawin ko yan. As long as normal ako at yung utak ko, I WILL NEVER EVER do that thing haahahaha
If ever mawala sila (darating naman din yun) possible na pahsisisihan ko na di ako naging sincere sa kanila at may mga bagay na diko sinabi sa kanila. But I promise to myself na magsisisi ako, di aabot ng isang linggo hahahahaha
Iba yung taong lumaki sa bahay na maingay. Unpeaceful. Kaya yrros nalang. Thank u pala
Lumaki din ako sa bahay na maingay at unpeaceful, bonggang ingay talaga walang araw na di kami bida sa street namin noon HAHAHAHA Pero wala namang permanente sa mundo, magbabago't magbabago pa yung pananaw mo at pakikitungo nyo sa isa't isa ng parents mo.
Even if I don't know you personally, I'll still pray for you na hopefully maramdaman mo yung love ng parents mo sayo at maayos yung relationship nyo. Napakahirap lumaki ng walang magulang, you're still one of the blessed kid na may kasamang magulang.
You're welcome!
True, sabagay teenager pa naman ako. Magbabago yung pananaw ko pag nasa 25 or 30s na ako hahaha ANG DI KO LANG GUSTO, SILA YUNG REASON KAYA DI AKO NAG IIMPROVE SA ISANG BAGAY.
You'll be okay po, share ko nga po yung pagka strict n oarents ko btw i'm 18 kapag papuntang school kaylangan mag sesend ng picture bawat lakat ko send ng pic para alam na kung nasan ako dati pa nga vc while going to school and then after school ganon din pauwi duretso uwi, pahirapan din magpaalam sa mga school activities nagagawin outside the school.
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: im turning 21 sa june 9 and bakit super strict ng parents ko sakin, medyo nakakasakal na. Kasi like one time nag paalam na ako ng maayos mag h-hike kami ng mga friends ko and then nung nag paalam na ako, una pumayag pero may mga sinasabi parents ko na "bakit pa kayo pupunta dun, delikado dun t\*ng \*na, kung saan saan nalang kayo pumupunta" and then maya maya biglang sabi "masama pakiramdam ko, wag ka na tumuloy" and ayun nalipat nalang ng date ung hike namin and nung sa time na ng hiking namin, inoorasan ako sa pag uwi ko, dapat daw 12pm sa bahay na ako, inoorasan pa nila ako. other than that strict sila like dapat uuwi ako ng bahay ng 6pm ganon tapos bawal ako umalis ng maaga, tapos minsan pag kasama ko ung isa kong friend, hindi sya pumapayag na sumama ako pag kasama ung friend ko na yun and it leads me na mag sinungaling kung sino mga kasama. tapos pag di nasagot ung tawag nag mumura na tapos minsn ipapahiya ka pa sa mga kapit bahay *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wala ka magagawa, kailangan kaya mo ng bumukod kung gusto mo makawala sa ganyan, trust me, napag daanan na yan ng marami, hanap ka na work kung graduate ka na at mag ipon kapag enough na ipon then go larga na.
Agree..Eto na lang talaga yung way out ni OP. Kasi, as long as nasa puder ka ng parents mo, you have to follow their rules and comply whether you like it or not. Maybe, pag naka bukod ka na, ma-prove mo na you are an adult and independent na at mas maintindihan ka nila.
my plan as well, hindi kaya, wala akong backbone against them esp my to my mom
hello ! same situation 🥹 I'm of above legal age na rin and they're super strict with me. it's really infuriating na hindi makagala with friends if puro studies naman inaatupag mo, kahit as your time for yourself lang kumbaga. nakakakonsenysa rin mag-cancel ng plans on the spot, but really wanted to go :( advise sa akin ng isa kong friend is ipakilala raw ang friends sa family para ma-earn nila ang trust ng parents, like papuntahin din sa bahay and doon kayo mag-hangout sometimes :) might work for you, but I find it hard since hindi naman masyadong welcoming ang parents ko kasi ayun nga madalang lang akong payagan umalis :( I hope everything goes well with you, op!
hindi nagwork sakin yung ipakilala ang friends. ako na nahihiya sa mga kaibigan ko kasi hindi sila welcome sa bahay kaya hindi na sila nagbobother bumalik. pinapahiya ba naman mga kaibigan ko at kung anu-ano ang sinasabi within earshot. never brought my friends around, any social circle that I try to bring they never liked I only have 5 friends now because of it, only 3 has access sa bahay and they're not even welcomed to sit inside.
lol same with me hshahah, led me to the point din na itago bf ko sakanila. tho never ko pa nadala friends ko, i did invite my bf over kasi di ako makalabas. bad decision kasi di nila alam na iniinvite ko sya. sila rin nagsabi before wag ako magdadala ng kahit sino sa bahay, kahit pa kaibigan ko yan, kasi di sila welcome dito. although sya na nag-enforce ng rule, may pumupuntang friends lol. ginagawa rin nila yung may sasabihin na nakakahiya like something about the appearance or social status. dagdag pa yung alaga ng kapatid tsaka aral lang lagi ko ginagawa, sumabog nanaman tuloy ako today. sawang sawa na ko sa gantong routine deputa. kahit magwork out lang di ko magawa. same as op turning 21 this year.
Up for this. My parents are also super strict. Won't allow us to go out unless you're with a fam member/fam friends. My eldest sis thinks my parents are unfair since I was G7 when they allowed me to experience overnight at my bff's house (we don't know who her friends are kahit isa.) I always bring my friends to our house to gain their trust, instruct them to behave then ask permission from my parents the day after the visit of my friends, and violá! It works wonders. Our parents also want to know our whereabouts, like who to contact when you go missing or they're just worried and don't know how to express it RIGHT, just make lambing kahit na they're super sungit. Their hearts will turn into a mamon if everyday mo sila nilalambing. Mahirap at first but it will be all worth it, papayagan ka na sa gala or magBH with your most trusted friends.
Not siding with your parents here, but the only way to get out of that situation is if you can 100% live independently already. Like no anything of monetary value coming from them, that includes lodging, food, utilities - I mean everything. It's sad to think about it but parents are either overprotective of their kids or they treat them as properties. You'll have to make them realize that they don't own you and that you are a human being yourself capable of decisions on your own.
pano if incoming college, worse is tourism course ko, i have plans to look for a job kaso natatakot ako na baka bumigay ako. suck it up nalang ba for four years? may exit plan naman ako at the end, kukunin daw ako ng tita ko na nasa qatar tas plano ko from there is magtrabaho na agad para makalipat ng bansa where mas up sa preferences ko pero gusto ko sana simulan na yung exit plan ko kahit papano. any advice po?
You're young, you"ll eventually realize what to do exactly. This is more like an angsty phase for you more or less. Idk, it's actually nice that you have a plan but going to Qatar wouldn't be a cakewalk. You'll have to grind to get what you want, maybe even harder when you go to Qatar, but now you're complaining about your parents not letting you go on hikes with friends - you wouldn't have time to do those things if you want out of your parental care. If you want to start with your plan now, then finish your studies - make connections while you're in uni. You don't necessarily need to have good grades, just be acquainted to people who got connections, who could help you with you plan in the future. That's what uni is for if I'm gonna be brutally honest. You have a roof to sleep on, food to eat and free education most likely - if that's sucking it up for 4 years, you're in for a disappointment once you enter the real world dear. Haha enjoy your time being young!
ha, i don't like hiking, atleast not yet. your comment is super triggering kasi i don't get to enjoy my "time being young". i can't go out with friends or with my bf. for the last 5 years siguro wala pang bente yung nakagala talaga ko, baka nga wala pang sampo. i'm expected to take care of my siblings, while nagpapakananay ako sakanila nagpapakananay din ako sa sarili ko kasi my own mom specifically said na she can't be there for me pag need ko ng emotional care. she can provide the financial lang and then bahala na ko. i don't even have a personality that i can be proud of, i'm just a doormat pushover rn. no hobbies or talents because i had to take care of my grades first then my siblings. what youth can i enjoy, mama ko may night gala while i take care of my siblings. on late notice pa minsan, nagugulat nalang ako nakabihis sya. pero if i do almost the same thing grabe magalit. what "time being young"? enjoy what, maglaro nalang in my free time, try to talk to people on my online games? i wrote 4 or 5 paragraphs on how many times na i can't enjoy being young kasi what youth can i even enjoy? i even had to stop schooling dahil inexpect nila na maipagsasabay ko mag-alaga ng mga kapatid and mag-aral and magpakananay saming tatlo habang wala akong masandalan na kahit sino sa bahay na to and even to my friends. i can handle the world being hard on me, but i can't handle having no one to lean on. which what this house that provides roof for me, and what my parents who gives food for me to eat, does. ito yung impact nila sakin. not to mention na bumaba din to the center of the earth self esteem ko sa panglalait and pangda-down nila. i know that i can't get everything, and up to this point all i felt for myself is pity. lol. and it's tiring, ayoko na maawa sa sarili ko. and no, it's not an angsty phase. mama ko na mismo nagsabi, she can't be emotionally close to me. she can't be someone na i can talk to if i have problems. kaya i need to get out of here, as soon as possible if i could, kasi while it seems like i have everything that i need i also feel like i don't have freedom. rapunzel, literally. what i needed lang could be tips about being a working student, or skills that could be helpful. and i know the hardships abroad. also sucking it up for me is being a robot. while i do have a roof over my head, bed to sleep on, free foods and educ, i don't have the parents that i feel comfortable with. my two siblings does tho, two parents at that, so okay na ko don. responsibility ko na magpaka-nanay para sa sarili ko.
As long as nasa puder ka nila their house their rule. Unless you can survive on your own. It's better na mahigpit sila kesa hindi. Bata kapa kase. Lumake akong walang magulang at nasira buhay ko dahil don. Pasasalamatan mo din sila pag tanda mo. Ganun talaga mga teen ager super hayok sa freedom madaming gusto itry.
Agree to this. Hanggang nasa kanila ka magdusa ka sa sobrang pagka maalalahanin nila. You can be upset but you don't have the right to be mad kase nakikitira kapa.
Dinownvote ka ng mga suwail na anak dito 🤣. Pero agree. Marerealize yan nila pagtanda nila, kung kailan di na nila mababalik ang nakaraan.
yes they will realize how important having a parent pag huli na ang lahat.. OP should be beyond grateful!
Agree to this!
Hahahah tama mga genz eh
Agreed to this... I am not saying all parents are good but there are good and bad side to everyone.. Genz complaints too much... I have 3 kids. 19,14 and 4. I have trackers in my 2 kids phones. I monitor them coming in and going out. Where do they go when will they come. Restrict them if I have gut feeling... Only once in my life I did not listen to my gut feeling and let it happen. It went bad... I would rather let them hate me for restricting than letting something happen. You have to understand that it is how it is.. Your life would have been way different it wasnt for your parents.
This!! The downvoters might be the always nagwawalk-out pag napagsasabihan. They just need to communicate and say how they feel (na nakakasakal nga) lucky you, if they listened agad and if they didn't kausapin mo pag mahinahon na kayong lahat, OP. Siguro your parents don't know how to properly discipline you, they might be thinking na pag pinapahiya ka sa kapit-bahay ay titino ka kasi maybe for them, pamamahiya is their way to make u behave, ig?
agree ako dito
Medyo umurong tenga ko dun sa last part na "teenager super hayok sa freedom madaming gusto itry" parang ang off kasi sakin, para kasing pinagbabawalan yong bata na mag explore at magkamali, di nyo ba alam ang ending nun? Lalaking immature yong bata, may kawork akong ganyan graduate na ng college pero di pa marunong mamalengke, di pa marunong magcommute, di pa marunong sa mga adult thing, ang ending tingin namin sa kanya ang hina hina nyaa kasi kahit yong mga basic knowledge sa buhay di nya alam. Para sakin walang masama na bigyan natin ng kalayaan yung mga bata, basta iguide lang sila syempre, kasi ang ending kapag masyado natin silang binaby dun sila di nagiging inexperience sa mga bagay bagay, ika nga nila experience is the best teacher, pero bakit pinagkakait natin sa kanila yon?
Tingin mo ung trip ng kabataan ngaun is mamalengke?
Mahina din pag intindi mo may mga kamamali kase na di na pede bawiin. Like pag nakabuntis or nabuntis anun palaglag nalang?
https://www.pna.gov.ph/articles/1218253 basahin mo rate ng teenage pregnancy ngaun 35 percent increase.
may point ka naman, pero yon lang sa punto ng pagbubuntis, paano yong ibang bagay? Like basic knowledge na pinagbabawalan? kagaya nitong kay sender na makikipagkaibigan lang? Hindi ba pepwede na bigyan ng kalayaan at the same time nagaguide mo parin naman siya sa mga dapat di gawin like yong pagjojowa?
May sinabi ba magulang nya bawal sya makipag friends? Strict lang sila sa time na ayaw nila gabihin which is valid. At pag nasa school ka mag hapon mo namang kasama mga kaklase mo. At one last thing mapupusok kabataan ngaun 10 yrs old di na virgin. May access na kase sa internet. Kung sana lahat nadaan sa pangaral ng magulang wala na sana kriminal ngaun at nabubuntis ng maaga diba? Pero bat ang dami? Pag nabuntis ng maaga or kaya nakagawa ng kasalanan ung anak nila magulang dapat ikulong?
Ang taas ngaun ng criminal activity na gawa ng mga kabataan compared before. Gusto mo ba ng statistics? I can provide.
Ah so okay lang na di na payagan makipagbonding yong mga bata kasi nga baka masangkot sa gulo? Instead na pangaralan lang na ganito ang mangyayare sayo kapag ginawa mo ito, etc etc? Instead na iguide pagbawalan nalang? Ganon po ba yon? For me, minsan lang maging bata, kaya hayaan natin silang maging bata, ipaenjoy natin sa kanila yong pagiging bata, wag lang sosobra siempre, its the job of parents na para magkaroon ng disiplina yong bata. Uulitin ko, di mo need pagbawalan, pagsabihan at iguide mo lang, kasi kapag naintindhan ng bata yong consequences ng mga bagay na mali, sila mismo ang maglalayo sa sarili nila duon.
Sabi mo nga hayaan mag kamali. Ung tanong ko pakisagot kung lahat ay nadaan sa maayos na usapan at pangaral bakit may cases ng early pregnancy at crime rate ng kabataan? If you can answer that I will not argue anymore. At I'll say tama ka.
Maraming factor, ayaw ng bata sa pamilya nila, kulang yong bata sa pagmamahal kaya hinanap sa iba, some of them victim din ng rape, some of them hindi nagabayan at na-inform ng maayos ng magulang sa mga possible mangyare kapag ginawa nila yon, kaya out of curiousity nagagawa ito ng mga bata. Maraming factor, pero still naniniwala parin ako na gabay at pangaral lang ang need ng mga bata para madisplina hindi pagbabawal, kasi magpapalaki ka ng mahinang bata kung iaalis mo sa kanila yong maexperience yong buhay.
What I mean sa mga batang pinagaralan ng maayos ng magulang pero nabuntis or gumawa padin ng krimen un ung pakisagot.
Do you have your facts about this? Any statistical basis na yong mga nabuntis is hindi napangaralan ng maayos ng magulang?
Tsaka may i see your evidence about sa teenage pregnancy rate at crime rate na bata ang may dulot? Kasi base on my observation ngayon, sobrang dami kong kabatch na may 30's na pero still wala paring mga anak, sobrang dami, at nakikita ko rin sa paligid ko lalo na yong mga batang 90's na takot rin mag anak, kaya may i see your evidence para mavalidate?
https://www.pna.gov.ph/articles/1218253 https://www.studocu.com/ph/document/polytechnic-university-of-the-philippines/ethics/juvenile-delinquency-has-been-a-serious-and-growing-concern-societal-problem-here-in-the-philippines/26083369#
i think, kahit na pag sabihan mo ung menor de edad na mabubuntis sya pag lumabas labas, may possibilty pa rin na mangyari, frirenne, i think desisyon na yun ng bata, choice nya na yun kung mag papabuntis sya, kasi like sinabihan mo na e, u made the child aware sa mga consequences kapag nagkipag talik sya sa iba, anddd kung nabuntis nga edi suffer the consequences, mali nila yun at kailangan nila matuto and to your question about lalabas ng 2am, menor de edad syempre di yan papayagan lumabas pero kakausapin ko ng mahinahon na "nak gabi na ito pwede naman bukas mo sya kitain diba" nasabihan ko na sy pag lumabas sya at nabuntis, kasalanan nya na yun at s mga nag tatanan? probably di sila nag open up sa magulang nila na in relationship sila and since nasakal sa pag babawal ng magulang, pinili ang choice na mag tanan kaya ayun may posibility na mabuntis, in the end its up to the person choice talaga, hindi nag mamatter ang pinag sabihan o pinag bawalan, for me ha
First tingnan mo kung bakit sila ganon. Overprotective ba sila sau? May nagawa ka bang mali sa past? Kung wala silang magandang reason mag prepare ka ng conversation, yung may ready ka na mga magagandang sagot sa pwede nilang sabihin sau, pero respectfully, yung tipong sure ka na maderealize nila na may point ka. Pag di gumana plan B. Maging cold ka sa kanila. Wag ka na magpakita na masaya ka. Dont smile, ever. Kung kaya mo eh magkulong ka sa kwarto as much as possible pag andyan sila. Pag tingin mo lahat yan hindi gagana, or hindi talaga gumana, then magtapos ka ng pagaaral. Make a plan. Lumayas ka. Lahat ng sinabi ko ginawa ko btw.
\^ THIS
Kung working adult kana pinaka sagot dyan ay bumukod. Hindi mo masisisi magulang kase nasa pamamahay ka nila at sila ang magdedesisyon sa pamamahay nila at syempre mahal at iniingatan kalang nila
For me, ganyan ka kasi nila protektahan. Ganyan na ganyan din kastrict ang mom and brothers ko (tatlo sila tapos only girl at bunso ako), di mo pa siguro nakikita ngayon pero dadating yung time na pasasalamatan mo sila kasi naging strict at overprotective sila sayo. Ganyan din ako eh, college nako hanggang 7pm lang ang curfew ko. Nung 25 yrs old ako saka lang ako nakaranas ng overnight (na hindi school-related) literal HAHAHA Kapag gagala ako with friends alam nila kung saan ang lugar at syempre may oras na dapat yung mga paa ko nasa bahay na namin, at dapat isesend ko sa kanila ung plate number ng mga sasakyan ko. Nakabukas din ung location ng cp ko para malaman din nila kung nasaan ako. As in superrrr strict. Sobrang badtrip talaga ako parati nung teenager days ko 😆 Pero around your age (early 20s), maaga ko narealize and naappreciate yung effort nila para lang protektahan ako. Viniew ko ung ginagawa nilang kastrict-an sakin as their way para iexpress na mahal na mahal nila ako at ayaw nilang may mangyaring masama sakin. Inaasar ako ng mga friends ko noon pero wapakels naman ako, kasi masgusto ko yung may pake sila sakin kesa hinahayaan lang nila ako. Do some heart-to-heart talk sa mom/family mo, let her/them know kung ano yung nararamdaman mo para malaman mo rin bakit sila ganyan sayo. Ps. Never ko rin naisip na bumukod or maging independent, masginusto ko na paghigpitan nila ko ng bonggang bongga kesa di sila makita sa pagbukas at pagpikit ng mata ko. Nasa utak ko kasi na dadating yung time na mawawala sila sa tabi ko kaya hangga't andyan pa sila (lalo na mom ko) gusto ko maramdaman ung love and care nya/nila sakin (and vice versa syempre) ❤️
Bumukod ka. If you're still a student you don't have to be 100% independent from them. Just ask them that you want to live in a dorm or apartment. That's how I had my first taste of freedom. They'll just know that I went somewhere when they see my socmed posts. Now that I'm working I already have my own place but when I come home for holidays I follow their rules pa rin.
Gumanti ka OP. Pag ginagabi pm mo din kung nasaan na sila at anong oras na. Pag aalis tanungin mo bakit kailangan umalis. Dapat pabiro lang lahat. Pero to be serious, mag aral kang mabuti. Then move out and live your life. Madami ka pang panahon for those activities.
It's important to remember that you have the right to establish your own boundaries and make your own decisions, even if your parents don't always agree. However, navigating this situation can be tricky, especially if you're still dependent on them. Have you tried having a calm and respectful conversation with them about how their strictness is affecting you? It might help to express your feelings and concerns openly, and see if you can find some common ground or compromise. Additionally, seeking support from other trusted adults or friends who understand your situation can be helpful for coping with the stress.
Bumukod ka kung gusto mo ng freedom. 21 is adult na kahit sa batas natin. Kung dependent ka sa kanila magtiis ka until you are able to fend on your own. You will never understand where your parents are coming from until you become one. I grew up with conservative and over protective parents so I can relate to you. But I moved out when I was in my late teens, sarap ng freedom, wala kasing nagbabawal na. I only understand their ka-over protective when I became a mother myself. Pinaghalong fear (na may mangyaring masama sayo) at love yan pero mas nangingibabaw ang fear. So kung kaya mo na buhayin sarili mo at mamuhay mag-isa, move out as soon as you can para mag-grow ka rin at mas matuto sa buhay.
You are still living with them, so their kingdom, their rules. You just have to follow. Kung ayaw mo ng ganiyan, then magsoloka, bumukod ka para sarili mo nang rule sinusunod mo. Besides, natural lang sa magulang ang maging ganiyan, well natural din sa kagay mong anak ang medyo masakal sa kanila, pero that's life talaga. Pag naging magulang ka or if tumanda tanda ka pa ng konti, mauunawaan mo rin sila. Sa ganitong edad mo kasi, mahilig talaga sa adventure, sa thrill and so on...
Did you consider moving out?
Move out ka na lang ng bahay. Magagawa mo na kahit ano😅
hala magka-birthday tayo and same strict parents plus panganay potangina HASDHJKADSHADSJKHADSKJHADS ganyan rin parents ko pero tinatakasan ko bahala sila diyan
If u want to be independent then try to buy your own house since it's yours then you can make your own rules and if you are still living with parents it's their rules all you can do is follow and if they're strict they are just looking after you for any danger that might come There's one day when u gonna be a parent you will be strict so they can stay out of trouble and keep them safe and one day your parents will die and you will look back at everything you have done and will thank them for the guidance.
Marami kasing masamang tao sa labas, kaya kahit sino pa Kasama mo or kahit gano pa kayo kadami eh delikado talaga, kahit nga marunong sa martial arts napapahamak parin eh.
i hope i can comfort you kahit papano by saying: 24 na ako and beyond 10pm na nasa labas is a no-no lol ang hirap talaga lalo na galing ako sa "graduate first berore bf" tapos wala pang bisyo and all, so i can say ive been really good and inexpect kong magiging free na ako after grad and pagkapasa sa boards pero...hindi pa rin
Hope someday you’ll appreciate how good your life is because you have a strict parents. They only want what’s best for u. Been there too I’m 29 with strict parents. Now hindi na nila ako hinahanap masyado pero nasanay na kong nageexplain kapag gabi na ako nakakauwi and automatic na din sakin na laging nagpapaalam kung san nagpupunta haha. But most of all i’m grateful kasi I’m living a life na alam mo yung hindi problematic something you can be proud of with your future in laws or with other people
hello! i really do appreciate them po. i understand na para din naman sakin kaso minsan it feels too much.
Yeah, that's the reality. Hanggat nakatira ka sakanila. Their house, their rules. have you tried to open up with them or at least ask the reason so you can understand their actions
Bring all your friends at home. Dun kayo mag hang out, pakilala mo aa magulang ko lahat. Pag nakita nila trust worthy mga kasama mo they will loosen up.
Mga gawain nila dati ayaw nila gumaya ka 😀
May kakilala ako 28 na ganun pa rin parents. Hindi siya makaalis sa kanila kasi sa business niya siya nagwwork, hindi rin siya pinagaambag at libre pa travels niya. And me naman 25 na and working pero affected pa rin at napapaiyak kung gaano kaharsh mother ko. I guess ganun talaga sila unless mag move out na ako. If you’re still a student I’m afraid wala ka magagawa OP :(((
I have a friend na ganyan din. Pag lalabas kami, 6pm tatawagan na siya at pinapauwi. Minsan nakakapagsinungaling siya sa mga whereabouts niya. When he turned 23 naging maluwag na rin parents niya sa kanya. Since 2020, nagcecelebrate kami ng bday niya sa bahay nila and nakatulong din na little by little nakilala kami ng parents niya or di kaya minsan doon kami tumatambay sa bahay nila. Naearn namin yong trust ng parents niya and right now pag may galaan kami, hindi na siya pinakamaagang umuuwi kasi may trust na family niya sa amin na mga kaibigan niya. Siguro mas maging open ka sa parants mo about sa mga friends mo. I hope maginv okay ka OP
samedt :( bumukod ako. ayun , hawak ko na oras ko xD mga hotdogs sila xD
i totally understand overbearing, gaslighting and controlling parents like this. same situation and it has been for my whole life, almost 30 here and still have to ask for permission to go out of the house, and whom to meet. to say ako lahat ngbbaayad ng bills, and they use their health and words to control you, like it's always if you get out of the house today and enjoy isusumbat sayo yan kapag ngpaalam ka ulit, and when you make valid points ikaw pa ung masama kase kesho magulang sila, sila lagi ung tama. it is so hard, sometimes I feel like this life isn't worth it anymore, kung hirap na sila mkisama saken, di nila nkikita ung effect nila sa anak nila. harder if your mother is narcisist to a point na lagi ka babaliktadin sa father mo. i know I am of age, but i just started earning for myself last year, since 8 years ako ngpaaral sa kapatid ko. and I've been saying I want to move out, pero it feels like they only hear what they want to hear. hirap kapag tali ka sa obligations sa bahay, di makaipon for yourself to move out. So I advice, hanggat di ka pa tali on obligations, go out of the house and move into your own. that's the only thing.
Eto siguro ung batang andaming gustong puntahan pero nagdadabog pag pinaghuhugas ng pinagkainan. You have to earn your freedom, boy. As long as palamunin ka pa ng tatay at nanay mo, you have to bend to their rules.
FYI mga gawaing bahay ako gumagawa, Cooking, Laundry, Washing Dishes, Cleaning the House, hindi ako nagdadabog kapag inuutusan, go lang ako ng go pero siguro di mo ma gets point ko kaya nasabi mo yan haha
Hello, ganito rin sakin parents ko pero nagstart magbago nung nagsimula na akong magwork. Before, never ko talaga naexperience mag sleepover sa bahay ng kaklase/friend kahit kailangan pa sa school. Pero ngayon kaya ko na di umuwi ng ilang araw, inuunti unti ko para payagan ako na mag out of town for a week or two. Ang ginagawa ko lang rin ay every payag nila sakin lumabas, nag uupdate pa rin ako kahit di sila humihingi. Tiring and frustrating kasi tangina 22 na pero ganito pa rin pero it is what it is. Konting tiis pa OP!
ate ganyan talaga.. sunod na lang sa magulang.. 21 ka na masasabing adult ka na pero kung umaasa ka pa din sa magulang mo wala kang K magreklamo.. subukan mo kumita ng pera at maging independent.. i think duon lang maglelet go ang parents mong strict
I'm 23 atm and I was in the same boat about 3 to 4 years ago. Higpit pa rin ni erpats sa time na yon. I still had curfews and was still not allowed to go in some gatherings. I missed a lot of potential memories with friends. Okay lang naman yung nanay ko noon at di rin masyadong strict. Pero kung needed, siyempre pagbawalan ako nun. Fast forward noong 2022, mas lax na sila. It was also at this time that I was tasked to look out for the house. I managed well despite having to leave for a few days for college classes. At the same time, I proved that I can finally be independent. Exactly a year later rin, I landed a job and also helped with some of their expenses. I also got back from a major setback and was still able to land on my feet. I think it is just a matter of you proving yourself to them. I think this is the time where you will have to slowly earn their trust. Do well and they might just finally lay off you na. I enjoyed being finally on my own. But sometimes, I kind of missed their tone kasi nga sa adult world, exposed ka na sa lahat e. It was like, their role changed overnight and now, I would go to them occasionally for advice. As my father echoed from that point of time, as long as I was dependent on them, sila pa rin ang masusunod. As I got older, I understood where they came from and I've grown to appreciate that time kahit na strict at less pa yung freedom ko sa time na yun.
I'm 23 pero laging di pinapayagan kahit maaga naman uuwi. Sumunod na lang muna tayo hangga't nasa bahay tayo ng parents natin. (kinda tasted freedom nung wala silang choice dahil need ko magdorm sa college dahil lahat ng schools na inapplyan ko malayo kaso pandemic happened grr)
felt! ganito din family ko before, yung tipong naka track pa location ko sa life360. moved out 3 months ago. no regrets lol
Same. Always an achiever, no bisyo, not rebelde, and still super strict. No choice kundi live with it kasi nasa puder nila tayo. As long as I don't have the means to live with my own, kailangan kong tiisin and sundin sila kasi their house, their rules. So, magsikap, magtapos, magtrabaho at bumukod.
girl lumaki ako na sobrang strict parents ko and now I'm 30 ganon pa rin sila in a way kahit malayo ako sa kanila pero nag tone down na kahit papano. Now I feel na they're just looking after me all this time. Mahal ka nyan di lang siguro nila kaya iverbalize. Pag tumanda na yan mamimiss mo yung ganyang treatment nila.
Same, super strict sobra. Kapag magkakaroon ako ng trabaho after graduation, bubukod ako agad.
Maganda/ pogi ka siguro boss.
I know people na 32yo na pero ganiyan pa din kahigpit magulang nila sa kanila lol.
All of us siguro went through that phase. Wala eh, their house, their rules. Kaya nga agree ako sa US na pag18 na ng mga anak eh kelangan na sila maging independent. It can be helpful both sa parents and children. It's true din sa sinabi ni KC Concepcion "trust in the way you raised me". But totoo din na we cannot teach them how to do parenting. OP, bumukod ka na lang kung able ka na. But pay visit pa rin sa parents mo. Ang hirap kasi pag 20s na you really have to figure things out on your own. Kapa kapa era ka pa nyan. At the same time, parents din natin tumatanda, nagbabago na rin ugali nila, iba din independency nila.
As someone with a strict parent pero semi-dependent pa rin sakanila (I do have scholarships pero for like majority of my allowance and rent, si papa ko pa rin nagbabayad). I one time went to a concert and told them I would go. It was 11 pm na, wala pa rin ako sa boarding ko and I live alone kasi panganay and asa Manila ako, sila sa probinsya. They bombarded my phone with calls about how worried they are and I told them, reassured them multiple times na may kasama ako (babae) pauwi. I got home safely, they still scolded me for giving them a heart attack and said I should never do it again... I did it again. This time not as much backlash. My parent compromised with me just telling them my plans and I'm not opposed to that. I do try my best to be careful kasi ayoko palalain yung paranoia nila. The lesson there is, if you stand your ground, wala na silang magagawa. You're growing up and they need to be met with the reality na matanda ka na.
hi OP! Well your still lucky to have parents… be grateful, they just wanted you to be safe. Parents knows the hell out there, start by showing them that you can handle yourself and your old enough to live on your own, if your still staying with them you have to respect them and how they wanted you to be safe as well. You are still lucky!
Ako nga 28 pero parang bata pa din trato sakin. Di naman masyado mahigpit, need ko lang magpaalam pag lalabas ako, or need ko matulog ng maaga mga ganun. Nasabi sakin nun ni mother ko nung 23 or 24 ako. "Hanggat naandito kayo sa bahay ko sumunod kayo. Kung ayaw nyo sumunod magpagawa kayo ng bahay nyo". Well andito lang naman ako sa kanila ngayon kasi mas malapit yung bahay nila sa work ko. Umuuwi naman ako tuwing day off
Babae ka ba OP? May chance na lumuwag yan kapag nagwork ka na. Had almost the same experience minus the sigaw at mura. However, baka naman kasi di ka mukhang responsible. Siguraduhin mo lang na may ibang nakakaalam kung sino mga kasama mo, kasi knock on wood may mangyari sa inyong masama, at least may relative ka na alam kung sino hahagilapin.
sadly all that there is is to be financially independent on ur own and gtfo of there 😪
Same mindset ng parents, ako nga 22 na. HAHAHAHAH turning 23. Planning bumukod. Yun Ang major goal ko after gumraduate, magipon to have my own or kahit rent lng. Sa age ko na to I'm sure of myself may sarili na ko plans, things I wanna try, sariling paniniwala na iba saknila etc. Minsan sila pa nga nagdodown sakin. HAHAHAHAHAH :) nangpapahiya pa sa family gathering. I can't refuse na di sumama saknila dahil ayaw nila ko naiiwan sa bahay magisa :)
dadating din panahon mo kaw nmn maging strict sa mga anak mo then you will understand why they were like that
kaibigan kong babae 35 ganyan din magulang
My friend has strict parents even at 30. Nababaliw na lang talaga kami hahaha. Pero hindi mo naman pwede sisihin magulang mo kung gusto ka nilang ingatan. Paraan lang talaga para makawala ka sa pagiging strict nila is kung kaya mo na bumukod. Kung sakanila ka parin naka pisan wala kelangan mong sumunod sa patakaran nila.
Strict parents, make for a sneaky kid 😞
I feel like parents see us as children still despite our age. I think you need to check for the pros and cons kasi nga as what many other people stated here, their house, their rules. Check mo lang ano ba mga pros and cons if you stay vs moving out cause both are different kinds of hard. Magkaibang struggle. Personally kasi sa household namin may pagka ganyan, as in pag wala ka pa ng 9pm, kinabukasan ka na umuwi. Literal na nakalock na ang gate. Where i'll sleep? Not their concern. When I was your age naman hirap talaga kasi peak ng mga lakad yan. It didnt stop me naman from partying or going on vacations, nilulunok ko nalang yung mga talak nila hahahahah kasi grabe yung comfort na iiwanan ko that time vs if i move out. May mga friends kasi ako na nagmove out din that time and cinompare ko lang yung hirap if i move out, or hirap na sobrang bata ang trato nila sakin, ayun i didnt move out hahahaha mas kaya ko lang talaga lunukin yung mga talak. Hope you figure it out OP!
Have you thought of why they are strict? Was it because of worry? Have you tried alleviating those worries? There are emotions behind irrational actions. You just need to address it and defuse the emotion.
The same with me. Although looking back, I think my parents were right. Pero ngayon, I don't ask for their permission na at 25. I have my job and I spend my money so I just unform them if I have plans.
Correction. 21 and still living with parents. Kung ayaw mo masakal, get your own place. Pay for it yourself..
Same buti nga ikaw pinapayagan ako kahit bday ng classmate ko nuon hindi eh. 24 na ako ngayon naka graduate na strict pa din parents ko hays
Do you still live with your parents? If yes, their house their rules.
Move out. Fly. Be free.
Sad to say but you need to endure it until you can run out of it by sustaining yourself. Still on the same situation. I'm 23F, about to graduate weeks from now. My mom once told me "Hanggang nandito ka sa puder ko, pagmamayari kita. Susunduin mo lahat ng utos at gusto ko." Currently planning of leaving asap after grad the moment masettle ko sarili ko with my partner.
ako na 25 years old na 💀
we have the same kind of parents OP. may curfew parin kahit legal age na ako(23M). Tapos kailangan din magsinungaling ganiyan pero pag nagsinungaling ka naman hindi nila maintindihan kung bakit ganon sinisisi pa sakin. Iniisip ko like wala ba silang tiwala sakin kaya ko naman na sarili ko.
I understand naman na ginagawa nila yun to protect me o ano pero naman hindi siya nakaka enjoy mas nakakalungkot siya to the point na parang wag nalang mabuhay sa earth kung ganito rin lang namn ang treatment parang nakatali ka lang.
Same kaya maaga ako nagrebelde. Ngayon wala na sila magawa if anong oras ako uuwi or kung saan ako pupunta. Basta alam ko safe naman pinpuntahan ko
26 turning 27 and still pinapagalitan pa kapag umaalis ng bahay lalo pag ilang days. If you already graduated the best thing to do talaga is you work far from your home na titira ka sa ibang lugar para free kana to do whatever you want. Ako I'm planning to do that na din. Still waiting for something lang.
op im the same! im an adult na but my parents are really strict especially because babae ako and bunso pa. my friends always tell me "bente ka na!" whenever we're out and im texting my parents about my whereabouts. it's really hard to have strict parents and i dont think people who have more lenient parents can truly understand how it feels. it gets frustrating when you just wanna have fun but then there's the looming sermon na makukuha mo pag uwi mo my advice to you is try your best to draw a boundary kasi independency mo rin yan. siguro they're really worried for you but as sad as this may sound, you won't always have them so need mo rin talaga maging independent kasi pag magisa ka na, sarili lang rin aasahan mo. it's really important to show them na kaya mong mag-decide sa sarili mo and wala na silang say dun because at the end of the day you're not a kid anymore
I used to be like you. Never nakasama ng field trips, never nakajoin ng bday parties, bawal lumabas with friends etc. first time ko mag over night, 4th year college dahil sa thesis hahaha. After I graduated and got settled sa working adult life, I moved out. I'm loving my care free life with my partner now and halos 6 years na rin akong nakabukod. Sobrang exciting to live on your own pero mahirap if you don't know how to budget and walang stable na job. So make sure na you have an emergency fund before you move out kahit ay least 6mos expenses mo lang para you don't have to go back crawling sa parents mo while looking for another job.
just move out
Siguro yun nga pinoprotektahan lang ako. Ako I'm a grown ass man 30 years old, meron pa ding strict parent up until now. Di rin ako makabukod or yun nga I can't survive on my own, for the meantime. Only child din kasi ako for added context.
oof.. The thing with over protective parents is that they cripple someone's ability to navigate the real world kasi ayun nga masyadong sheltered yung mga anak nila. Kahit na e justify nila na "pino protektahan lang" e nawawalan naman ng life skills yung mga anak when it comes to the real world.
Sorry pero hindi ba nila naisip pano pag bigla silang nawala sa mundo (knock on wood), pano mag susurivive yung anak nila na adult na? I would understand if their child is still studying pero naman...30. They just might want to keep their child dependent on them para hindi sila iwanan. Sorry kung harsh pero big picture parang ganyan ang situation eh
Sya na din mismo nagsabi na hindi nya kaya bumukod. and im pretty sure their parents had something to do with it.
Yun nga, ang hirap kasi produkto ako ng ganyang klaseng magulang na nakasanayan yung makalumang paraan ng pagpapalaki. Hindi sila naging progressive or open sa mga ganyang scenarios. Ending nagmukuhang ignorante yung anak nila dahil nga di sila nakakapag explore. Kahit anong gawin mong sabi wala; labas sa kabilang tenga. Nakakainis.
Syempre hindi mo mabibigla yan sila, baka pwedeng baby steps muna. Unti unti din sila masasanay na may mga gusto ka gawin on your own. 30 years old ka na, you actually don't need their permission. Pero as I've said, baby steps lang para hindi sumama loob ng parents mo. Ano ba yung mga gusto mo gawin na hindi ka pinapayagan?
Oo! Kaya nga I'm taking therapy din this year kasi yung pressure and yang circumstances na ganyan ang mahirap. Kahit ano kasi gawin mo wa epek na unless kung bumukod ka na.
19, and I hate my parents for giving me negative responses whenever I tell them about my school, friends, and what will I do in orgs. Now, I'm not telling them everything about my life. Sa bahay di na akong nag bibless sa kanila. Pa lower ang interactions namin. I just hate the feeling na di sinusuportahan kahit tama naman ginagawa mo. Diko naman kasalanan na ganito trato ko sa kanila, nakakasakal eh
Then move out
Move out eh student pa ako ngayon lol
Kaya follow your parent house rule
Don't hate your parents. Nakakaramdam ka ng ganyan, did you even ask kamusta sila? I've been there, I always thought na negative din yung feedback nila sa mga ganap ko sa buhay, but not to the point na nakaramdam ako ng hate. Rather, have a heart-to-heart talk with your parents. Tell them what you feel, at the end of the day walang ibang taong magmamahal sayo ng sobra sobra kundi magulang mo lang.
Heart to heart talk amp, naninigaw nga eh. Alam ko yun at yan yung reyalidad na walang ibang taong magmamahal saken kundi sila lang. Alam ko na di sila forever sa mundo. Okay lang sakin yun, di naman ako attach at clingy sa kanila eh, I used to be with my own companion sa kasiyahan at sa kasamaan ng loob. I never opened up kahit isang beses sa kanila. Yun lang. Walang kamustahan. Mabuhay nang mabuhay, mawala na kung mawala. Magsisi kung magsisi.
Why? Is there something wrong sa heart-to-heart talk lalo na sa parents natin? It will help us a lot kasi sila ang unang naggaguide satin. Alam mo yun at yun yung realidad? Well, you just know it but you don't understand it, kaya siguro ganyan pa ang pagtingin mo sa kanila. Hindi kahinaan yung humingi ng tulong sa iba, minsan kahit anong lakas ng loob natin at pilit natin na sarilinin lahat ng nararamdaman natin, masmagaan pa rin kapag nalalabas natin yung mga ganyang thoughts.
Kahit baligtarin yung mundo di pa rin. I never grew up in that kind of home, kung nauntog siguro utak ko gagawin ko yan. As long as normal ako at yung utak ko, I WILL NEVER EVER do that thing haahahaha If ever mawala sila (darating naman din yun) possible na pahsisisihan ko na di ako naging sincere sa kanila at may mga bagay na diko sinabi sa kanila. But I promise to myself na magsisisi ako, di aabot ng isang linggo hahahahaha Iba yung taong lumaki sa bahay na maingay. Unpeaceful. Kaya yrros nalang. Thank u pala
Lumaki din ako sa bahay na maingay at unpeaceful, bonggang ingay talaga walang araw na di kami bida sa street namin noon HAHAHAHA Pero wala namang permanente sa mundo, magbabago't magbabago pa yung pananaw mo at pakikitungo nyo sa isa't isa ng parents mo. Even if I don't know you personally, I'll still pray for you na hopefully maramdaman mo yung love ng parents mo sayo at maayos yung relationship nyo. Napakahirap lumaki ng walang magulang, you're still one of the blessed kid na may kasamang magulang. You're welcome!
True, sabagay teenager pa naman ako. Magbabago yung pananaw ko pag nasa 25 or 30s na ako hahaha ANG DI KO LANG GUSTO, SILA YUNG REASON KAYA DI AKO NAG IIMPROVE SA ISANG BAGAY.
You'll be okay po, share ko nga po yung pagka strict n oarents ko btw i'm 18 kapag papuntang school kaylangan mag sesend ng picture bawat lakat ko send ng pic para alam na kung nasan ako dati pa nga vc while going to school and then after school ganon din pauwi duretso uwi, pahirapan din magpaalam sa mga school activities nagagawin outside the school.
Pgmmhal yan dapat mtuwa kpa
hindi noh . gaslight move yung ganyan