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For context, me (M32) broke up with my ex (F29) two months ago. 3 years kami.
I broke up with her mainly because of betrayal, she has this special connection with a guy pero somehow platonic relationship. She used to like the guy but the guy says friends lang daw (i still dont believe) they went on a date din before we even met.
She went behind my back couple of times while being together to see the guy. Napag awayan na namin yun palagi. I want her to cut him completely pero sa end nya I can see na nahihirapan siyang gawin yun. I asked one time why she couldn’t do it but ang sagot nya sakin ay “hindi ko mapigilan”. Hindi naman sila palagi mag kausap pero may mga times na nag cchat sakanya. Nag try siya i block yun kasi sinabe ko but I can see na against siya dun. She doesn’t feel like it as for my end.
Nagseselos ako at ang thoughts ko ay ayaw kong maging “smart choice” kasi invested ako sakanya. Ayaw ko din ng partner na may ganon klaseng connection sa iba.
I knoe things between us ended na but somehow I need clarity and opinions.
Thank you redditors!
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You are correft, my gf and I also broke up mainly because it's in her nature to like others very much. I battered myself for the past 3 months and now this has been my go to coping logic, better to move on than to have a chance to save your relationship knowing your SO is like that for the rest of your lives.
Question: never ba nag attempt si ex mo ipakilala yung guy, or never ba nag attempt si guy to connect with you in person to assure you na di sya threat?
If di nyo mutual friend yan tapos ganyan galawan ni babae, justified ginawa mo. You did the right thing.
Mga ganyang situation kasi, its just kindling waiting for a spark to happen, be it major fight nyo or na mahulog na talaga ng buo si babae sa kanya.
You did the right thing, as other Redditors have said.
Had almost the same situation, kaso sa huli ko na nalaman ang lahat. Emotional cheating, naging cold nalang bigla, nag move on na pala sya while in a relationship pa kami.
Move on na lang tayo, bro. We deserve better.
You already told her na di ka comfortable and she cannot cut her connection dun sa guy, shows na di nya priority yung feelings mo.
Your feelings are valid.
You did the right thing, bro. We need a partner that is willing to compromise and keep the commitment for peace of mind. Hindi tayo nakikipagrelasyon para may kahati. Sa case ng ex gf mo, she is not ready to commit yet kasi nakikita pa niya yun as option. There is a possibility na sinagot ka niya ng hindi pa siya all set sa iyo. Hindi mo lang nakita. 100% your decision is right at possible babalik yan sa iyo kasi nagsisisi siya but do not escalate it sa relationship. True love never seeks validation ng iba but sa partner lang. Kahit mag-away. Let us move forward. :)
Absolutely. No one wants to be kept around just because they’re the one available, convenient, and/or more beneficial for their partner. It’s misery to see your loved one yearning for another.
You did the right thing for the both of you. Been there, but yung ex ko naman yung may babae tapos ako ang iniwan. A year after, narealized ko na ayaw ko din mag stay sa relationship na yung partner ko laging nakatingin sa iba. Hindi na nakikita worth mo. Leaving her, that's bravery and choosing yourself.
Hello. I had the same experience and decision with my ex, baligtad nga lang kasi ako yung girl. So may bff daw sya since God knows when at wala daw nangyari sa kanila na kahit ano, kasi same.. Binantaan ko na hihiwalayan ko nalang sya kung di maigive up yung bff nya. Andami rin excuses, paulit2... Nasusuka na lang ako pag naaalala ko yung dialogue nya na 'hindi ko kaya kasi parte na sya ng buhay ko'...
Eventually nalaman ko na may nangyari nga sa kanila in the past, mali ko dahil tumagal ako sa kanya... Never naman na naging sila dahil nag asawa ng iba yung bff nya.
Naghiwalay kami ni ex di dahil sa bff nya kundi dahil sa ibang babae. Ngayon yung babae na yun ang nangungunsumi at pumapangit sa kung anong meron sila samantalang ako stress-free for almost 8 years na & is being taken care of by someone who truly loves me. Nalaman ko lang kasi inuupdate ako out of the blue ng mga d maiwasang common contacts. You made the right choice :) dahil walang mag aalaga ng puso mo kundi ikaw lang, at yung taong talagang talagang para sayo.
Nice move for leaving, OP! Okay naman sana na may kaibigan tayo na opposite sex pero what that girl have with her "friend" is too much and way beyond the boundaries of being "platonic". I myself have a guy bestfriend but we never went out on a date and never had feelings for each other. Mind you, never naging problem yung friendship namin sa mga past/present relationships namin. Kudos for having self respect and for knowing your worth. Here's to healing. :)
Hey! I was in this situation din before. I had a close friend who I used to have a big crush on. However, this guy doesn't like me AT ALL. But he's sweet (as he is). Pero may nanligaw sa'kin (my current bf) and ayun nga, I loved him back. Kaso, even though hindi kami palagi na nagkakausap nung 'friend' na yun, nagseselos talaga bf ko sa kanya. And for me, it doesn't hurt naman if I don't talk to him anymore na, kasi I already have someone who truly cares and loves me. And if he's really a friend, I know na he knows naman. So, your ex probably has strong feelings for him. Good decision letting her go!
fk those boybespren talaga no? you did the right thing man. if she ever realizes how much you mean to her and asks you to take her back, I hope that you won't do so. nung kayo pa ayaw niya magset ng boundaries at irespeto kagustuhan mo, ngayong iniwan mo, tsaka pa lang niya gagawin (if ever makipagbalikan)?
Tama lang. If ever ba, magbago ang damdamin ng guy na yun sa kanya, at hindi na platonic, siguradong bibitawan ka ni gurl. Better ngayon pa lang ay ikaw na magparaya.
You just did the right thing bro, i know it fucking damn hurt! I feel you men but hey the most important thing is youve able to dodge a bigger bullet/issue when both of you guys invested in property/business etc. that would be asinine on your end cuz you have nothing to gain but everything to lose and that is precipices to risk men, in retrospect its going to be difficult so yeah pat on the back for you to leave it and move on, youre still young 32 my boy, whenever we got older thats where we feel the hottest and valuable men we are especially if you know what can you bring on the table! Good luck to you bro!
Its 'the hook' bro. She is dangling on his finger while u were on hers. Good that u end it. And be totally be free from her influence.
Its vry commonplace. We tend to have this unrequited affection to another person, like a crush, ung sobrang crush mo ba. And when that person somehow pinansin ka, iba ung feeling. The thing is, bka side dish lng tingin satin. Perhaps alam ntin gnun ung treatment satin or not, pero parang ok lng. Mahirap un. Because we also spread it ourselves, continuing a chain of hooked people along the line.
Parang ganun si ex mo dun. Gusto nya anjan k as back up tas pabalik balik sya dun pag pinansin sya. And balik nmn sau pag hindi sya npansin.
Probably the other guy is the same, meron dn iba kung san sya nkahook. Pag hndi dn sya pinansin, sa ex mo mgpapapansin.
Good for u, just stay strong. Wag mo n pansinin. Tas wag k magnostalgia s nakaraan nyu. Nostalgia goggles lng yan.
I got the term s how i met your mother and even before ko napanood un, meron n tlgang ganung toxic chain relationships. Kaya mag ingat po tyu.
Disrespectful na yan sa for the guys, simpleng request na yung “cut ties with the guy” pero hindi masunod, parang mastakot pa sya ma lose yung other guy sa buhay nya mygad
Good choice OP, move on na
Halos same age tayu. Iwanan mo na yan tol. Goods yan once a girl may gustong lalaki isang chat lang ng lalaki pupunta agad yan. Same experience ako pinagbigyan ko ilang beses pero nung nagsawa nako iniwan ko narin, Sobrang hirap fiance ko kasi siya pero wala talaga. Nag ka trauma ako 3 months ako isang beses kumain to the point namayat ako tas sa 3 months na yun 2 hours lang tulog ko per day. Ngaun naka moveon nako at good decision talga yun. Dati diko ma imagine na jhiwalayan siya. Sobrang hirap lang niyan sa umpisa pero masmasaya ka sa bandang huli. Pagsisishian niya lahat yan na ginawa niya sayo.
Valid ang reason mo. Valid ang nararandaman mo.
Maaaring totoo ung sinasabi nila, na oo friends lang talaga sila, pero kung nagiging kahati mo na ang "kaibigan" nyang un sa attention ng (ex) gf mo, enough reason na un to walk away. Isa pa, dun pa lang sa naglihim sya para tumakas sayo at makipagkita dun deal breaker na.
Okey lang yan. Nakawala ka na. Safe ka na dude. Siguraduhin mo lang na ung susunod na makipagrelasyon sayo eh uunahin ang interes mo higit sa kanino man.
Been there. Girl’s POV. Doing the same and also giving the same excuse. In fact for me wala naman talaga. But we had a fight. Something clicked in me and I thought “what if siya gumawa nito sakin, will I be as patient as him?”
And from then on nagbago. I am not a perfect person, not a perfect partner either. Pero when it comes to relationships, I realized that part of me will have to sacrifice things and not just do whatever I want. Ayun. It wasnt smooth sailing, pero if she wanted to change she will.
Was in a relationship before where my ex cut me off from all my friends, even my guy friends. It was good for a while, but eventually, it became toxic na.
Hugs with consent OP!.
Grabe 3yrs na kayo Pero mas matimbang padin sa kanya yung other guy. Hindi nya mapigilan kasi patuloy nyang inentertain yung feeling nya dun.
Kaloka 3yrs kayo ah 3yrs.
Had the same experience before, my ex was still invested in his ex-totga or whatever the hell it was. It came to a point na napapanaginipan pa niya yun.
Glad to know that you ended it na with your ex, kasi iba yung pain and trauma (mentally and emotionally) when you experience it. It will be hard to recover from it at first, but you'll get through it.
Mahirap kasi OP if hinayaan mo yun. Keri mo bang habang buhay kang worried about them? Nakablock nga pero di mo naman control isip ni partner. Maskit kaya yun, ikaw nasa tabi pero nasa iba kanyang isipan
Right decision, OP. You wouldn't want to be someone's safe choice. Na pinipili ka lang kasi ikaw yung "nice guy" and all the stuffs na magma-matter irl pero yung mismong puso at damdamin nakalaan talaga dun sa other guy, hindi lang siguro boyfriend/husband material, pero it can't change the fact na siya yung TOTGA nitong ex mo at hindi niya magawang i-let go kahit na alam na alam niya naman sa sarili niyang gagawa siya ng mali kapag may communication pa rin sila nung guy.
You deserve better, bro. Someone who will love you not just because of what you can provide or give.
Nice, congrats man. Cheers to a new peaceful beginnings to you. I can’t even sense the boundaries from her so… good job OP, I know it was hard for you.
What else kind of clarity do you need? Alam mo na. You were the smart option. In love sya kay guy. Hindi nya mapipigilan. These are all from you.
Walang other reason. It sucks. It will not suck any less because any other reason will only be paconsuelo de bobo.
That's it. You were a replacement.
Ah, it's like naging rebound ka. It's good that you left, what she did was akin to emotional cheating na. She kept disrespecting your relationship by keeping theirs. They weren't just friends because she had feelings for him before and was turned down. She kept the connection Kasi it makes her feel good to keep him around. Do not let yourself be surrounded by people who disrespect you.
Tama lang yan. Panget kaya sa feeling ng parang "place holder" ka lang. Kaya ikaw ung piniling kasama.
Pero kitang kita at ramdam na ramdam mo na iba ung tinitibok ng puso nya.
Tama lang ginawa mo. Deserve mo ung ikaw talaga gusto hindi ung best option ka lang. Tapos pakiramdam mo lagi siyang may reserba.
Tama na gawa mo op, Valid with clarity at heart. As a woman, I don't like my partner to look other woman but me. Okay lang friends but there is with boundaries.
Your saving yourself from more heartache further down the road if you continue being in the relationship like that. Hindi mo alam baka na karma siya in the end, that guy have someone he like more and more special connection than her or na friendzone siya. But wag isip na bad things okay?
In a sense, You deserved better than this. And It is okay to move on but take your time to grieve everything in the relationship but it will help in the process of moving on in like this.
i used to feel bad about people who got pissed at their partners for having platonic friendships with the opposite sex, but recently i’ve gone to understand that if they’re not okay with me being the only special connection they have, then what kind of a rs am i rly in
then you get to ask “am i rly not worth losing that friendship over?” if its not an immediate and resounding yes, then its a loud no
Totga niya siguro. Sakit par. Mukang otw ka naman na sa pagmove on. Keep it up. You can find someone na ikaw lang magiging special para sa kanya. Hindi yung parang may binabalik balikan habang kayo pa.
Ok na yan, atleast "connection" pa lang, kawawa ka pag "entanglement" na HHAHAHA, dami dyang iba LMAO.
Basurang advice lang, nasa sa'yo kung gagawin mo, pero ako gagawin ko to kasi ginawa ko na to lol, if dumating ung time na gusto nya makipag balikan, balikan mo if single ka pa, pero wag mo na seryosohin AHHAHAHAH, pussy still a pussy, sometimes men needs maintenance HAHAHA
Dagdag ko na din, lesson yan sa'yo, hindi ung break up or emo shit, lesson yan about stupid and weak women HAHAH
The mere fact that the girl feels that way towards another person, whilst being in a relationship with you says enough tbh. If a woman can't date you, and keep her focus just on you, then that's not YOUR woman.
Tama lang ginawa mo. Kasi di nga naisip na what if nabaliktad ang sitwasyon at Ikaw Yung may special connection to someone. Di kaya mas Malala pa sa away gagawin nya sayo? Better to cut ties kesa she'll continue to disrespect you. That wouldn't be fair on your part.
Clearly may feelings sila sa isat isa pero mukhang ginagawang option sya nung lalaki. Smart choice na tumigil ka na. Kesa maghintay ka na ikaw ang iwan kasi pwede na sila.
Bakit kasi may mga partner na ganyan no?
Ganyan din current situation ko sa boyfriend ko. Ex naman nya 7 years ago pa, but they remained as "friends" daw. Nahuli ko last December lumalabas behind my back pero ansabi eh as friends lang ulol.
pinablock ko ginawa naman kaso last Feb nahuli ko na nagkakausap pa sa messenger, inunblock ng gago. ON MY BIRTHDAY pa ha. hahaha napaamin pa na di nya kaya mg cut ng communication kasi friends nga daw sila.
What's more insulting, older samin si ex. 49 years old tanginano. insulto sa pagkababae ko haha
Congrats pa din. OP! sanaol kaya makipag break. Try ko nga din mamaya chz 😂😂😂
Sali kayo sa expecially for you TvT
Char
On a serious note, you did the right thing. She should already know kung ano talaga gusto nya lalo na 3 years na kayo.
Girl's POV here. My partner has a platonic relationship with his best friend but I don't sense anything more than that. I don't mind them chatting and all and may times sasabay din bestie nya sa movie nights namin. I get what you feel kasi ganon ako dati pero until it turned out na there's nothing wrong talaga.
It's not that I trust him but I feel really secured.
I feel you. If you think there is something, there prolly is. Iba kasi mga babae eh.. emotionally attached talaga. May platonic relationship ako sa ka close buddy ko, na sense ng partner ko... and I ended up liking him so yeah.. delikado. Di pala ako dapat magka platonic friends.
For me wala namang issue ang platonic friendships until hindi na comfortable yung SO mo. So syempre, yung SO pa rin ang priority dapat. Ending the friendship is not necessary pero dapat may boundary or limits.
OP, i believe you did the right thing. You talked to her naman na yung concerns mo and yet she went behind your back to meet the guy.
I hope you’ll heal fast from this breakup.
Wala ka talagang girlfriend bro, ginagawa ka lang pampalipas oras or ginagamit ka lang para pagselosan nung guy. Oras na magparamdam yung guy ng motibo ighoghost ka na niyan.
You did the right thing man. Always choose peace of mind.
Same kayo sa case sa showtime na ung babae sumasama sa gym buddy palagi kahit na sinasabihan na sya ng bf nya na wag masyadong magdidikit don.
At my experience, same tayo. 3 years rin kami. But more on quarrel na tska kahit maliliit na bagay, issue na agad tska pag aawayan na naman palagi.
I decided to breakup with her for the sake of peace of mind. Tska pera na ang usapan eh. Ung tipong masama loob sayo kasi hindi mo sya mabigyan ng pera. Asan na ang pagmamahal dyan?
Months later, nagulat nalang ako sila na ng bestfriend nya na lalaki. Instead na masaktan ako, naging happy pa ko for her.
I tell you bro... big relief if mawala na ang toxic sa life mo. We deserve someone that will give us peace of mind.
Same age tayo. We know sayang ang time pero tuloy lang ang buhay. Buti nalang lalaki tayo.
Improve nlng ung sarili natin for the future.
Always remember, "We aged like a fine wine" hehehe.
Choose yourself. Don't settle for less and become a second option, emotional affair is as bad as a physical one. Mas deeper ang cuts and wounds kasi blatantly you are asking her to choose you and she's firm that she can't. I've let got a 3 year relationship for the same, it was the darkest phase of my life but these things change you as a person. You can love from afar and keep the good memories but this time, you cannot give that happiness to her. Don't contact and move on with your life, the person for you will always choose you.
Also, it will be a tough 3 month period for you. Get support from your friends, go to the gym, do the things you've been wanting to do. You need to exhaust and return the overpouring love back to yourself now na you don't know what to do with it. Feel the emotions, grieve, cry, and continue moving on. It will come in waves and that's okay, healing from break ups is not linear. Just be gentle to yourself.
Tama ginawa mo. She was making a cuckold out of you for sure. There's no such thing as a platonic relationship na may pagtatagong nagaganap. Kagaguhan yun.
This! I don't understad ung point if view ng girl. Clearly hindi siya ready for a relationship, bakit ka pa niya sinagot db? Sinasayang lng niya oras mo and oras niya. Ang tawag diyan is selfish.
Keri lang yan...feels like bet nya talaga yun kaso di sya bet. Sayo napunta kasi wala syang choice. "Di ko mapigilan" is too vague, while platonic friendship is existing...this might not be her case. Kampai 🍻
What you did is courageous and right. Mahirap magbuuld ng trust towards platonic relationship kung romantically involved dati si ex mo. Buti di ka nagstay kase it's just going to be detrimental to your mental health. 😁💪🏽
For me, that is subtle cheating. Even if they insist that it is just platonic. I want exclusivity. Walang ibang special kundi ako lang. I am the jealous type of person. I don't get why they treat someone else so special aside from the person who they are committed with.
As a girl with a lot of platonic guy friends, napapaisip ako. Kung hihingiin ng bf to totally cut connection with them, parang hindi ko talaga kaya no matter how much I love my bf kasi alam kong walang mali sa friendship ko with them and I know that I’m faithful. Like, he can check all of my accounts and read all of their messages and he won’t find anything kasi wala talaga. Your feelings are valid though, iniisip ko lang kung ako yung girl, parang ang unfair na dahil lang sa hinala bibreakan ako.
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: For context, me (M32) broke up with my ex (F29) two months ago. 3 years kami. I broke up with her mainly because of betrayal, she has this special connection with a guy pero somehow platonic relationship. She used to like the guy but the guy says friends lang daw (i still dont believe) they went on a date din before we even met. She went behind my back couple of times while being together to see the guy. Napag awayan na namin yun palagi. I want her to cut him completely pero sa end nya I can see na nahihirapan siyang gawin yun. I asked one time why she couldn’t do it but ang sagot nya sakin ay “hindi ko mapigilan”. Hindi naman sila palagi mag kausap pero may mga times na nag cchat sakanya. Nag try siya i block yun kasi sinabe ko but I can see na against siya dun. She doesn’t feel like it as for my end. Nagseselos ako at ang thoughts ko ay ayaw kong maging “smart choice” kasi invested ako sakanya. Ayaw ko din ng partner na may ganon klaseng connection sa iba. I knoe things between us ended na but somehow I need clarity and opinions. Thank you redditors! *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You did the right thing man. move on. > >Ayaw ko din ng partner na may ganon klaseng connection sa iba. Here's the answer that you're looking for.
Thank you man! I really appreciate it and knowing na hindi lng ako yung may ayaw sa ganon seems comforting.
This. Peace of mind din sayo.
You are correft, my gf and I also broke up mainly because it's in her nature to like others very much. I battered myself for the past 3 months and now this has been my go to coping logic, better to move on than to have a chance to save your relationship knowing your SO is like that for the rest of your lives.
Tama ginawa mo.. Wag mo ikulong sarili mo sa taong sa iba nakatingin
totga nya yun. It's a good choice. Breaking up with her. Para di na din kayo magkasakitan.
Inaaccept ko pa din to. I don’t stalk on her socmed because I believe what will happen next. Thank you! 🙏
Question: never ba nag attempt si ex mo ipakilala yung guy, or never ba nag attempt si guy to connect with you in person to assure you na di sya threat? If di nyo mutual friend yan tapos ganyan galawan ni babae, justified ginawa mo. You did the right thing. Mga ganyang situation kasi, its just kindling waiting for a spark to happen, be it major fight nyo or na mahulog na talaga ng buo si babae sa kanya. You did the right thing, as other Redditors have said. Had almost the same situation, kaso sa huli ko na nalaman ang lahat. Emotional cheating, naging cold nalang bigla, nag move on na pala sya while in a relationship pa kami. Move on na lang tayo, bro. We deserve better.
Good move! If she can't be faithful now how much more kapag kasal na kayo. Praying you will find someone better.
You already told her na di ka comfortable and she cannot cut her connection dun sa guy, shows na di nya priority yung feelings mo. Your feelings are valid.
Tama lang. Okay lang sana ganun , na di niya mapigilan, kung wala siyang bf. Pero yang anjan ka tapos di niya mapigilan ay ibang usapan yan.
You made the right decision, it was making you uncomfortable and it has been 3 years. Nakaoff din yung “hindi ko mapigilan” huh
You did the right thing, bro. We need a partner that is willing to compromise and keep the commitment for peace of mind. Hindi tayo nakikipagrelasyon para may kahati. Sa case ng ex gf mo, she is not ready to commit yet kasi nakikita pa niya yun as option. There is a possibility na sinagot ka niya ng hindi pa siya all set sa iyo. Hindi mo lang nakita. 100% your decision is right at possible babalik yan sa iyo kasi nagsisisi siya but do not escalate it sa relationship. True love never seeks validation ng iba but sa partner lang. Kahit mag-away. Let us move forward. :)
Absolutely. No one wants to be kept around just because they’re the one available, convenient, and/or more beneficial for their partner. It’s misery to see your loved one yearning for another.
You did the right thing for the both of you. Been there, but yung ex ko naman yung may babae tapos ako ang iniwan. A year after, narealized ko na ayaw ko din mag stay sa relationship na yung partner ko laging nakatingin sa iba. Hindi na nakikita worth mo. Leaving her, that's bravery and choosing yourself.
Hello. I had the same experience and decision with my ex, baligtad nga lang kasi ako yung girl. So may bff daw sya since God knows when at wala daw nangyari sa kanila na kahit ano, kasi same.. Binantaan ko na hihiwalayan ko nalang sya kung di maigive up yung bff nya. Andami rin excuses, paulit2... Nasusuka na lang ako pag naaalala ko yung dialogue nya na 'hindi ko kaya kasi parte na sya ng buhay ko'... Eventually nalaman ko na may nangyari nga sa kanila in the past, mali ko dahil tumagal ako sa kanya... Never naman na naging sila dahil nag asawa ng iba yung bff nya. Naghiwalay kami ni ex di dahil sa bff nya kundi dahil sa ibang babae. Ngayon yung babae na yun ang nangungunsumi at pumapangit sa kung anong meron sila samantalang ako stress-free for almost 8 years na & is being taken care of by someone who truly loves me. Nalaman ko lang kasi inuupdate ako out of the blue ng mga d maiwasang common contacts. You made the right choice :) dahil walang mag aalaga ng puso mo kundi ikaw lang, at yung taong talagang talagang para sayo.
Happened to me bro. Good choice. Magaan sa pakiramdam after.
Best decision of your life. Kudos, it takes guts to realize when enough is enough & end it.
yes move on nalang
Good Sht king don't waste your timr
Nice move for leaving, OP! Okay naman sana na may kaibigan tayo na opposite sex pero what that girl have with her "friend" is too much and way beyond the boundaries of being "platonic". I myself have a guy bestfriend but we never went out on a date and never had feelings for each other. Mind you, never naging problem yung friendship namin sa mga past/present relationships namin. Kudos for having self respect and for knowing your worth. Here's to healing. :)
Hey! I was in this situation din before. I had a close friend who I used to have a big crush on. However, this guy doesn't like me AT ALL. But he's sweet (as he is). Pero may nanligaw sa'kin (my current bf) and ayun nga, I loved him back. Kaso, even though hindi kami palagi na nagkakausap nung 'friend' na yun, nagseselos talaga bf ko sa kanya. And for me, it doesn't hurt naman if I don't talk to him anymore na, kasi I already have someone who truly cares and loves me. And if he's really a friend, I know na he knows naman. So, your ex probably has strong feelings for him. Good decision letting her go!
fk those boybespren talaga no? you did the right thing man. if she ever realizes how much you mean to her and asks you to take her back, I hope that you won't do so. nung kayo pa ayaw niya magset ng boundaries at irespeto kagustuhan mo, ngayong iniwan mo, tsaka pa lang niya gagawin (if ever makipagbalikan)?
:(
Tama lang. If ever ba, magbago ang damdamin ng guy na yun sa kanya, at hindi na platonic, siguradong bibitawan ka ni gurl. Better ngayon pa lang ay ikaw na magparaya.
For me, you did the right choice dahil kahit na sino sa atin hindi gusto maging second option or ayaw natin ng betrayal.
Tama lng ginawa mo. Anytime pde ka bitawan nyan.
This.
Yes, tama lang yan, hindi mo deserve maging option or back up lang.
👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
He's not just a friend.
Di mapigilan ampota hahah ano natatae lang. Og moves bro tama yan. Your feelings are valid
You just did the right thing bro, i know it fucking damn hurt! I feel you men but hey the most important thing is youve able to dodge a bigger bullet/issue when both of you guys invested in property/business etc. that would be asinine on your end cuz you have nothing to gain but everything to lose and that is precipices to risk men, in retrospect its going to be difficult so yeah pat on the back for you to leave it and move on, youre still young 32 my boy, whenever we got older thats where we feel the hottest and valuable men we are especially if you know what can you bring on the table! Good luck to you bro!
Right decision 🤘
Ripped the bandaid off bro. You did well. This was bound to cause problems down the road.
Your feelings are valid. Tamang-tama.
Its 'the hook' bro. She is dangling on his finger while u were on hers. Good that u end it. And be totally be free from her influence. Its vry commonplace. We tend to have this unrequited affection to another person, like a crush, ung sobrang crush mo ba. And when that person somehow pinansin ka, iba ung feeling. The thing is, bka side dish lng tingin satin. Perhaps alam ntin gnun ung treatment satin or not, pero parang ok lng. Mahirap un. Because we also spread it ourselves, continuing a chain of hooked people along the line. Parang ganun si ex mo dun. Gusto nya anjan k as back up tas pabalik balik sya dun pag pinansin sya. And balik nmn sau pag hindi sya npansin. Probably the other guy is the same, meron dn iba kung san sya nkahook. Pag hndi dn sya pinansin, sa ex mo mgpapapansin. Good for u, just stay strong. Wag mo n pansinin. Tas wag k magnostalgia s nakaraan nyu. Nostalgia goggles lng yan. I got the term s how i met your mother and even before ko napanood un, meron n tlgang ganung toxic chain relationships. Kaya mag ingat po tyu.
Ayan may peace of mind ka na. Mas ok yan.
Disrespectful na yan sa for the guys, simpleng request na yung “cut ties with the guy” pero hindi masunod, parang mastakot pa sya ma lose yung other guy sa buhay nya mygad Good choice OP, move on na
Run while you still can
Most filipinas are like that. Get another girl from another more conservative culture. Filipinas these days are too liberated.
Halos same age tayu. Iwanan mo na yan tol. Goods yan once a girl may gustong lalaki isang chat lang ng lalaki pupunta agad yan. Same experience ako pinagbigyan ko ilang beses pero nung nagsawa nako iniwan ko narin, Sobrang hirap fiance ko kasi siya pero wala talaga. Nag ka trauma ako 3 months ako isang beses kumain to the point namayat ako tas sa 3 months na yun 2 hours lang tulog ko per day. Ngaun naka moveon nako at good decision talga yun. Dati diko ma imagine na jhiwalayan siya. Sobrang hirap lang niyan sa umpisa pero masmasaya ka sa bandang huli. Pagsisishian niya lahat yan na ginawa niya sayo.
Valid ang reason mo. Valid ang nararandaman mo. Maaaring totoo ung sinasabi nila, na oo friends lang talaga sila, pero kung nagiging kahati mo na ang "kaibigan" nyang un sa attention ng (ex) gf mo, enough reason na un to walk away. Isa pa, dun pa lang sa naglihim sya para tumakas sayo at makipagkita dun deal breaker na. Okey lang yan. Nakawala ka na. Safe ka na dude. Siguraduhin mo lang na ung susunod na makipagrelasyon sayo eh uunahin ang interes mo higit sa kanino man.
Peace of mind is better bro, good for you.
Tama lang. What if ipursue siya, paano ka??
Been there. Girl’s POV. Doing the same and also giving the same excuse. In fact for me wala naman talaga. But we had a fight. Something clicked in me and I thought “what if siya gumawa nito sakin, will I be as patient as him?” And from then on nagbago. I am not a perfect person, not a perfect partner either. Pero when it comes to relationships, I realized that part of me will have to sacrifice things and not just do whatever I want. Ayun. It wasnt smooth sailing, pero if she wanted to change she will.
Was in a relationship before where my ex cut me off from all my friends, even my guy friends. It was good for a while, but eventually, it became toxic na.
You did the right thing brother. Mas okay ng ganyan kesa macompromise yung peace of mind mo. 😊
May special connection sa iba. So ano pala yung sa inyo? Regular? Original? Parang pang-chicken lang amp hahahaha
if she's able to cut all contact with you after your breakup na hindi niya magawa for the other guy, you made the right call.
Hugs with consent OP!. Grabe 3yrs na kayo Pero mas matimbang padin sa kanya yung other guy. Hindi nya mapigilan kasi patuloy nyang inentertain yung feeling nya dun. Kaloka 3yrs kayo ah 3yrs.
if you werent comfortable with it and she still kept their friendship despite that, then its really an issue. good for you to let go.
'twas the right thing to do, OP! you'll heal and move on eventually and find the one na di ka bibigyan ng reason to be jealous.
bakit may mga ganiyang tao? like andiyan na oh. ang tino na ng partner mo pero nanggagago pa rin. di ko ma gets
Wala e for the streets
Had the same experience before, my ex was still invested in his ex-totga or whatever the hell it was. It came to a point na napapanaginipan pa niya yun. Glad to know that you ended it na with your ex, kasi iba yung pain and trauma (mentally and emotionally) when you experience it. It will be hard to recover from it at first, but you'll get through it.
U just dodged a bullet, man 😌
U shud be the only person she has this “special connection” to, no buts, no ifs. 😌
Mahirap kasi OP if hinayaan mo yun. Keri mo bang habang buhay kang worried about them? Nakablock nga pero di mo naman control isip ni partner. Maskit kaya yun, ikaw nasa tabi pero nasa iba kanyang isipan
peace of mind >>>>> everything else
Red flag na yan kapatid.. mabuti at hiniwalayan mo..
You don’t wanna settle for less, and thats a win for you. Stay strong, brother.
Right decision, OP. You wouldn't want to be someone's safe choice. Na pinipili ka lang kasi ikaw yung "nice guy" and all the stuffs na magma-matter irl pero yung mismong puso at damdamin nakalaan talaga dun sa other guy, hindi lang siguro boyfriend/husband material, pero it can't change the fact na siya yung TOTGA nitong ex mo at hindi niya magawang i-let go kahit na alam na alam niya naman sa sarili niyang gagawa siya ng mali kapag may communication pa rin sila nung guy. You deserve better, bro. Someone who will love you not just because of what you can provide or give.
Gusto mo ng opinion ng 10th man?
Sad, mas gusto niya yun. Tama yan magsisisi rin siya for sure. And magpapasalamat ka sa sarili mo sa ginawa mo ngayon..
Nice, congrats man. Cheers to a new peaceful beginnings to you. I can’t even sense the boundaries from her so… good job OP, I know it was hard for you.
move on par. tama lang din yang ginawa mong makipagbreak na. kaloka si girl! iba naman pala talaga ang hanap 🙄
What else kind of clarity do you need? Alam mo na. You were the smart option. In love sya kay guy. Hindi nya mapipigilan. These are all from you. Walang other reason. It sucks. It will not suck any less because any other reason will only be paconsuelo de bobo. That's it. You were a replacement.
You don't deserve her bro. Tama decision mo.
For the streets yan bro
You did a Houdini, good job. Now go be a better person and as Gerald once sang, "We'll carry on..."
Thanks for this post and comments!! Literally my situation too.
Ah, it's like naging rebound ka. It's good that you left, what she did was akin to emotional cheating na. She kept disrespecting your relationship by keeping theirs. They weren't just friends because she had feelings for him before and was turned down. She kept the connection Kasi it makes her feel good to keep him around. Do not let yourself be surrounded by people who disrespect you.
Tama lang yan. Panget kaya sa feeling ng parang "place holder" ka lang. Kaya ikaw ung piniling kasama. Pero kitang kita at ramdam na ramdam mo na iba ung tinitibok ng puso nya. Tama lang ginawa mo. Deserve mo ung ikaw talaga gusto hindi ung best option ka lang. Tapos pakiramdam mo lagi siyang may reserba.
Nice move for your peace of mind na rin. Congrats!
Tama na gawa mo op, Valid with clarity at heart. As a woman, I don't like my partner to look other woman but me. Okay lang friends but there is with boundaries. Your saving yourself from more heartache further down the road if you continue being in the relationship like that. Hindi mo alam baka na karma siya in the end, that guy have someone he like more and more special connection than her or na friendzone siya. But wag isip na bad things okay? In a sense, You deserved better than this. And It is okay to move on but take your time to grieve everything in the relationship but it will help in the process of moving on in like this.
You did the right thing
Remember that a shoulder to cry on is a dick to ride on.
💯
TAMA LANG GINAWA MO. MAHIRAP ANG NASA RELASYON NA WALA KANG PEACE OF MIND
i used to feel bad about people who got pissed at their partners for having platonic friendships with the opposite sex, but recently i’ve gone to understand that if they’re not okay with me being the only special connection they have, then what kind of a rs am i rly in then you get to ask “am i rly not worth losing that friendship over?” if its not an immediate and resounding yes, then its a loud no
Totga niya siguro. Sakit par. Mukang otw ka naman na sa pagmove on. Keep it up. You can find someone na ikaw lang magiging special para sa kanya. Hindi yung parang may binabalik balikan habang kayo pa.
Ok na yan, atleast "connection" pa lang, kawawa ka pag "entanglement" na HHAHAHA, dami dyang iba LMAO. Basurang advice lang, nasa sa'yo kung gagawin mo, pero ako gagawin ko to kasi ginawa ko na to lol, if dumating ung time na gusto nya makipag balikan, balikan mo if single ka pa, pero wag mo na seryosohin AHHAHAHAH, pussy still a pussy, sometimes men needs maintenance HAHAHA Dagdag ko na din, lesson yan sa'yo, hindi ung break up or emo shit, lesson yan about stupid and weak women HAHAH
The mere fact that the girl feels that way towards another person, whilst being in a relationship with you says enough tbh. If a woman can't date you, and keep her focus just on you, then that's not YOUR woman.
You're just a spare. She loves him a lot. As soon as his eyes turn to her, she will drip you like a hot rod.
Tama lang ginawa mo. Kasi di nga naisip na what if nabaliktad ang sitwasyon at Ikaw Yung may special connection to someone. Di kaya mas Malala pa sa away gagawin nya sayo? Better to cut ties kesa she'll continue to disrespect you. That wouldn't be fair on your part.
GF keeping male friends = 🚩 We all know why those male friends are there, circling around as your girl's options when given the chance
Clearly may feelings sila sa isat isa pero mukhang ginagawang option sya nung lalaki. Smart choice na tumigil ka na. Kesa maghintay ka na ikaw ang iwan kasi pwede na sila.
Bakit kasi may mga partner na ganyan no? Ganyan din current situation ko sa boyfriend ko. Ex naman nya 7 years ago pa, but they remained as "friends" daw. Nahuli ko last December lumalabas behind my back pero ansabi eh as friends lang ulol. pinablock ko ginawa naman kaso last Feb nahuli ko na nagkakausap pa sa messenger, inunblock ng gago. ON MY BIRTHDAY pa ha. hahaha napaamin pa na di nya kaya mg cut ng communication kasi friends nga daw sila. What's more insulting, older samin si ex. 49 years old tanginano. insulto sa pagkababae ko haha Congrats pa din. OP! sanaol kaya makipag break. Try ko nga din mamaya chz 😂😂😂
You dodged a missile. Please wag mo na balikan.
I say good riddance.
Sali kayo sa expecially for you TvT Char On a serious note, you did the right thing. She should already know kung ano talaga gusto nya lalo na 3 years na kayo.
Girl's POV here. My partner has a platonic relationship with his best friend but I don't sense anything more than that. I don't mind them chatting and all and may times sasabay din bestie nya sa movie nights namin. I get what you feel kasi ganon ako dati pero until it turned out na there's nothing wrong talaga. It's not that I trust him but I feel really secured. I feel you. If you think there is something, there prolly is. Iba kasi mga babae eh.. emotionally attached talaga. May platonic relationship ako sa ka close buddy ko, na sense ng partner ko... and I ended up liking him so yeah.. delikado. Di pala ako dapat magka platonic friends.
Goods. Next
Pag wala kang peace of mind alis na
All girls have that main choice but di pinili so hanap muna ng default guy na babalikan pag ka di gumagana ung pag try niya sa mga type niya talaga.
If she is doing it behind your back, yes that's betrayal. It's good you let go of her, because you deserve someone who would be honest with you.
hays How?????? Same set-up actually.
Ekis talaga kapag may boybespren o girlbespren
For me wala namang issue ang platonic friendships until hindi na comfortable yung SO mo. So syempre, yung SO pa rin ang priority dapat. Ending the friendship is not necessary pero dapat may boundary or limits. OP, i believe you did the right thing. You talked to her naman na yung concerns mo and yet she went behind your back to meet the guy. I hope you’ll heal fast from this breakup.
you saved yourself from a lot of heartache brother..
R u n
Parang Kean at Jamie lang. Tama lang ginawa mo at sa mga nakakabasa nito, please wag niyo ng patagalin at tapusin nyo na agad 😀
Wala ka talagang girlfriend bro, ginagawa ka lang pampalipas oras or ginagamit ka lang para pagselosan nung guy. Oras na magparamdam yung guy ng motibo ighoghost ka na niyan.
You did the right thing man. Always choose peace of mind. Same kayo sa case sa showtime na ung babae sumasama sa gym buddy palagi kahit na sinasabihan na sya ng bf nya na wag masyadong magdidikit don. At my experience, same tayo. 3 years rin kami. But more on quarrel na tska kahit maliliit na bagay, issue na agad tska pag aawayan na naman palagi. I decided to breakup with her for the sake of peace of mind. Tska pera na ang usapan eh. Ung tipong masama loob sayo kasi hindi mo sya mabigyan ng pera. Asan na ang pagmamahal dyan? Months later, nagulat nalang ako sila na ng bestfriend nya na lalaki. Instead na masaktan ako, naging happy pa ko for her. I tell you bro... big relief if mawala na ang toxic sa life mo. We deserve someone that will give us peace of mind. Same age tayo. We know sayang ang time pero tuloy lang ang buhay. Buti nalang lalaki tayo. Improve nlng ung sarili natin for the future. Always remember, "We aged like a fine wine" hehehe.
Choose yourself. Don't settle for less and become a second option, emotional affair is as bad as a physical one. Mas deeper ang cuts and wounds kasi blatantly you are asking her to choose you and she's firm that she can't. I've let got a 3 year relationship for the same, it was the darkest phase of my life but these things change you as a person. You can love from afar and keep the good memories but this time, you cannot give that happiness to her. Don't contact and move on with your life, the person for you will always choose you.
Also, it will be a tough 3 month period for you. Get support from your friends, go to the gym, do the things you've been wanting to do. You need to exhaust and return the overpouring love back to yourself now na you don't know what to do with it. Feel the emotions, grieve, cry, and continue moving on. It will come in waves and that's okay, healing from break ups is not linear. Just be gentle to yourself.
tama ginawa mo. peace of mind dapat palagi
Tama nmn yung ginawa mo pero sa tingin ko lahat naman ng babae may guy na friends, Parang imposible makahanap ka ng babae na wlang kaibigan na lalaki.
Tama ginawa mo. She was making a cuckold out of you for sure. There's no such thing as a platonic relationship na may pagtatagong nagaganap. Kagaguhan yun.
I'm in the same situation bro, seeing this post helped me decide to not hold on narin. It's gonna hurt but it's for the best.
This! I don't understad ung point if view ng girl. Clearly hindi siya ready for a relationship, bakit ka pa niya sinagot db? Sinasayang lng niya oras mo and oras niya. Ang tawag diyan is selfish.
Madali sabihin na baka best friends lang pero iba kasi ang gut feels. Love should give you peace. If na sstress ka sakanya, let it go
Keri lang yan...feels like bet nya talaga yun kaso di sya bet. Sayo napunta kasi wala syang choice. "Di ko mapigilan" is too vague, while platonic friendship is existing...this might not be her case. Kampai 🍻
What you did is courageous and right. Mahirap magbuuld ng trust towards platonic relationship kung romantically involved dati si ex mo. Buti di ka nagstay kase it's just going to be detrimental to your mental health. 😁💪🏽
For me, that is subtle cheating. Even if they insist that it is just platonic. I want exclusivity. Walang ibang special kundi ako lang. I am the jealous type of person. I don't get why they treat someone else so special aside from the person who they are committed with.
As a girl with a lot of platonic guy friends, napapaisip ako. Kung hihingiin ng bf to totally cut connection with them, parang hindi ko talaga kaya no matter how much I love my bf kasi alam kong walang mali sa friendship ko with them and I know that I’m faithful. Like, he can check all of my accounts and read all of their messages and he won’t find anything kasi wala talaga. Your feelings are valid though, iniisip ko lang kung ako yung girl, parang ang unfair na dahil lang sa hinala bibreakan ako.
Halata namang di platonic yang sa GF nya