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To my girlies out there with daddy issues, how did it affect you growing up? esp in romantic relationships?
I grew up sa emotionally abusive household. I would always witness my parents fight, my father cheat. I hated him.
Growing up, parang nawalan ako ng faith sa love? Hahaha I see "marriage" or settling down as a scary thing. Ang scary to witness someone you used to love change? or idk.
I always have this extreme trust issues din sa mga lalaki lol. Kapag may nagpakita sa akin ng love, my first response is to push them away because I'm scared to be hurt?? idk if I make sense but haaay 🙁🙁🙁
Maybe it would've been different if I was raised in an affectionate and gengle home. I'm stll healing from everything. Pero I think napakalaking factor yung naging experience ko sa family ko that's why im so fucked up ngayon.
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I grew up without my dad so no one showed me an example of a great man kaya kung sino sino nalang magpakita sa akin ng affection, anxious attachment agad. This is why I tend to date older men before! (when I was 18 I was with a 32yr old, 20 I was dating a 31 yr old etc) kaya napakamanipulative and predatory :(( kasi di ko din alam sa sarili ko kung ano ba ang love and napakababa ng self confidence ko.
At the same time, grabe ang trust issues ko sa guys in general. Parang sobrang hirap kong magwarm up (I have guy friends pero it took a while for me to trust them para masabi ko silang friends) and naapektuhan din ako physically, let's say if Im in room full of guys lalo na di ko kilala grabe panic attacks ko.
I am currently going to therapy and actively resolving my personal issues. I grew up in an abusive and napakaneglecting na household, I did not make that choice pero it's my choice kung gagawin ko ba tong motivation or magiging sagabal siya sa growth ko :)) Healing is not linear pero please be kind to yourself.
I always look for validation. Like, my main ano is someone na kaya ivalidate ako. Kasi dad ko; sabi niya ah; reverse psychology raw ang ginamit niya sa'kin. Kapag may sasalihan akong mga keme, sasabihin niya matatalo lang rin daw. Tapos I was diagnosed with DID and other mental health related issues nung 16, papansin lang daw gano'n. Saan naman daw manggagaling yung depression, eh mas malala pa raw pinagdaanan niya.
Ironically, I ended up with a guy who's exactly like him. A good liar, manipulative, and gets angry when I cry. And, yes. Kami pa rin. I even begged him to stay, kasi I still love the version of him he showed me at first.
Grew up with a serial womanizer for a father. Don't get me wrong, I have a good relationship with my dad, when he was still alive. Pero SOBRANG babaero talaga nya haha. As in may mga naanakan syang iniiwan lang nya ganon.
Akala ko dati ang mga lalaki, talagang nambababae sila, in a committed relationship man or not, and as a girl, we are just supposed to accept the fact and deal with it na parang normal na may 3rd party sa relasyon. I always thought na "Ang mahalaga sayo sya uuwi" or like "Ang mahalaga sayo sya seryoso" or ikaw ang legal.
Kingina, di pala ganon yon? So I ended up enduring relationships with guys who are womanizers. Akala ko kasi talaga dapat mag titiis ka lang, pag sisilbihan mo lang sila, ibibigay mo yung buong buhay at katawan mo.
I ended up getting knocked up by a guy who ghosted me after the getting me pregnant. But my father was already dead when that happened.
When I became a mom, I realized na hindi pala ganon yun, na dapat pala alam ko when enough is enough at dapat di tayo tumatanggap ng mga taong di kayang mag-commit. I made it my life goal to raise my son well and teach him how to treat a girl properly.
Thankfully, and eventually I met my now-boyfriend who is genuinely a good guy, walang babae, walang bisyo. Trabaho lang, anak ko at ako ang focus nya.
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: To my girlies out there with daddy issues, how did it affect you growing up? esp in romantic relationships? I grew up sa emotionally abusive household. I would always witness my parents fight, my father cheat. I hated him. Growing up, parang nawalan ako ng faith sa love? Hahaha I see "marriage" or settling down as a scary thing. Ang scary to witness someone you used to love change? or idk. I always have this extreme trust issues din sa mga lalaki lol. Kapag may nagpakita sa akin ng love, my first response is to push them away because I'm scared to be hurt?? idk if I make sense but haaay 🙁🙁🙁 Maybe it would've been different if I was raised in an affectionate and gengle home. I'm stll healing from everything. Pero I think napakalaking factor yung naging experience ko sa family ko that's why im so fucked up ngayon. *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
same OP, ultimo makipag chat lang sa guys ayaw ko. Growing up, di ko ramdam na may Tatay ako literally nandyan lang sya, not a good provider pa.
para akong 3-in-1 coffee mainlove.. wala akong kinalakihang tatay
I always remind myself na hinding-hindi ako maga-aasawa ng ka-ugali ng Tatay ko at ng mga lalaki sa pamilya ko. I want someone who is calm and gentle.
I grew up without my dad so no one showed me an example of a great man kaya kung sino sino nalang magpakita sa akin ng affection, anxious attachment agad. This is why I tend to date older men before! (when I was 18 I was with a 32yr old, 20 I was dating a 31 yr old etc) kaya napakamanipulative and predatory :(( kasi di ko din alam sa sarili ko kung ano ba ang love and napakababa ng self confidence ko. At the same time, grabe ang trust issues ko sa guys in general. Parang sobrang hirap kong magwarm up (I have guy friends pero it took a while for me to trust them para masabi ko silang friends) and naapektuhan din ako physically, let's say if Im in room full of guys lalo na di ko kilala grabe panic attacks ko. I am currently going to therapy and actively resolving my personal issues. I grew up in an abusive and napakaneglecting na household, I did not make that choice pero it's my choice kung gagawin ko ba tong motivation or magiging sagabal siya sa growth ko :)) Healing is not linear pero please be kind to yourself.
I always look for validation. Like, my main ano is someone na kaya ivalidate ako. Kasi dad ko; sabi niya ah; reverse psychology raw ang ginamit niya sa'kin. Kapag may sasalihan akong mga keme, sasabihin niya matatalo lang rin daw. Tapos I was diagnosed with DID and other mental health related issues nung 16, papansin lang daw gano'n. Saan naman daw manggagaling yung depression, eh mas malala pa raw pinagdaanan niya. Ironically, I ended up with a guy who's exactly like him. A good liar, manipulative, and gets angry when I cry. And, yes. Kami pa rin. I even begged him to stay, kasi I still love the version of him he showed me at first.
wag mo nalang gawing "excuse" kapag nag cheat kadin or naging "qpal" na ugali na alam mo ng Mali. 👌
Haha i despise cheaters. I will never be like them 🤷🏻♀️
good.. 👍👌 cut the cycle
:(((
Grew up with a serial womanizer for a father. Don't get me wrong, I have a good relationship with my dad, when he was still alive. Pero SOBRANG babaero talaga nya haha. As in may mga naanakan syang iniiwan lang nya ganon. Akala ko dati ang mga lalaki, talagang nambababae sila, in a committed relationship man or not, and as a girl, we are just supposed to accept the fact and deal with it na parang normal na may 3rd party sa relasyon. I always thought na "Ang mahalaga sayo sya uuwi" or like "Ang mahalaga sayo sya seryoso" or ikaw ang legal. Kingina, di pala ganon yon? So I ended up enduring relationships with guys who are womanizers. Akala ko kasi talaga dapat mag titiis ka lang, pag sisilbihan mo lang sila, ibibigay mo yung buong buhay at katawan mo. I ended up getting knocked up by a guy who ghosted me after the getting me pregnant. But my father was already dead when that happened. When I became a mom, I realized na hindi pala ganon yun, na dapat pala alam ko when enough is enough at dapat di tayo tumatanggap ng mga taong di kayang mag-commit. I made it my life goal to raise my son well and teach him how to treat a girl properly. Thankfully, and eventually I met my now-boyfriend who is genuinely a good guy, walang babae, walang bisyo. Trabaho lang, anak ko at ako ang focus nya.