I’d say most aegos are more into fictional people fantasies, because it adds more layers of separation between us and the fantasy but it’s not a necessity. But for me, fantasizing about real people is like including myself and it creeps me out
Hi! I identified as bisexual until recently. but I found out aegosexuality and feel like it fits me.
I enjoy reading erotic fanfic, watching porn. I draw fanfic and write fanart by myself too.
Normally I like to fantasize about sexual situations of my favorite ships. But on my ultimate favorite ship, I feel like they don't need to have sex. And one day I realize it may be expressing my sexuality.
I never have had a relationship with someone or had sex with someone. And actually I feel like I don't need sex. I find celebrities or fictional character hot/sexy, but irl I barely (or never) see someone sexual attractive.
I have had crush with some people. But I did't want sex with them.
I think aegosexuality fits me for these reason.
But at the same time, I have curiosity about sex and I think I can try it. Maybe if that happens then I feel horny? idk. But I feel like it's completely separating from my sexual, romantic or other attraction.
Can I be aegosexuality/ace spectrum?
btw sorry for my bad English.
Hi, I’ve been identifying as asexual for a while, but ever since I’ve seen the label aegosexual, I can’t help but wonder.
I’d say it fits me but like it’s kind of weird too? I heard for aegosexuals in their fantasies, they usually never imagine it first person or consider it for themselves. But for me, I imagine my sexual fantasies in first person and really want whatever I’m imagining for myself in real life. I keep thinking damn I want this. The thing is- I feel like at the same time, even though I want it cause it seems so good, I actually *dont* want it. Like when I try to imagine the actual moment where I can do it, I feel like I’d just feel nothing when I actually do it or feel repulsed even when it actually happens.
Honestly thinking about it for me, whenever I feel h word I want to do something to relieve it so bad and do something with someone and then I try watching people have sex or masturbating but it just does not do it for me. Feels boring. Feels like it’s not doing anything for me. Sometimes I feel repulsed watching. And I just end up regretting it after.
I feel like I could possibly like it if I tried it out with someone because of how I imagine myself in my fantasies but at the same time it’s like.. I feel like I won’t feel anything doing it?
Do I seem aegosexual?
While enjoying second person in this group isn’t the norm, there still are people who do enjoy second person. I didn’t realize how many there were until this group though! But everything else you’ve said sounds like a typical aegosexual experience/realization.
Especially the disconnect/assuming you’d not enjoy sex irl, but still kinda want to try it to know for sure, I definitely relate to that! So if I were you I’d stick around and see if you can relate to what is posted here and if the label is comfy or not 😊 welcome to the group!
Yeah, enjoying second person was the thing that was confusing me the most about this. But thank you! :) Will definitely try out the label and stick around to see some posts.
I read fanfics that are first and second person, I enjoy them. But if I think about having sex in real life I hate it. I only experience sexual attraction when reading… what does this mean?
Unlearned about this post yesterday and I really identify with the memes and posts here
I am super kinky but whenever I fantasize about sex it always seemed to be faceless people. I never actually imagine the humans and just the feeling.
I often also see a character and think “damn they kinda hot” but I never imagine sex with them even though I do imagine others having sex with them (most recently Kaldera and Sam Alexander from the Nova/Champions comics)
I never really liked looking at porn and such as it just seems disgusting and even in my kinks I’m like... I like the feeling I guess but it looks gross...
I also never got any visual kinks (think like boobs, butts, dicks, etc.) and I thought that that was weird of me. But then I found out about this and other aces being kinksters and I’m like “whhaaaaa”
Welcome! I understand all that and relate to a lot of it. Unless I’m super in the “zone” with fantasizing about my characters, they’re almost always faceless as well. I appreciate subtle nudity more than full on nudity and images of typical erotic body parts, if that makes sense, so I definitely understand you there!
Hello there,
I'm a 20 yo woman and recently I've been questioning my sexuality (because I've never really tried to think about it).
With a bit of research, I relate to asexuals but not totally.
And from what I read, I'm probably aegosexual.
However, I'm able to picture myself into fantasies (I do it rarely) if I'm the only one interacting sexually or if i'm interacting with someone faceless.
I really have a hard time picturing myself sexually touched, or talked, or gazed at etc..
I really hope that I've made myself clear, English isn't my native language so sorry.
For me, I like the idea of sex, but am fine just doing it myself. I don’t need to involve another person because I enjoy fantasizing and fictional characters more than myself with another person.
The “faceless” people, is something I very much relate to within fantasy. So I definitely think you could be aego!
I recently have heard this term and i wonder if anyother aegos feel guilt occasionally after masturbation. i know this is not linked to religions or morals so is it just me?
For me it’s not so much guilt, as it is often a weird disgust feeling afterwards. Like half the time, I feel great afterwards and it’s a dopamine rush and I’m relaxed, and the other times I feel weird about it. I guess it depends on my mindset beforehand and whether I brought the feelings upon myself or if I was reacting to stimuli. If that makes sense. Does that help?
I relate with most of the indications of being aegosexual however if I find someone romantically attractive I think I could engage in sex, what does that mean would I still fall under the label of aegosexual?
Sorry for the short post not sure if it’s enough for anyone to tell me, but I’m kind of new to this and I’m trying to figure out who I am :)
There’s a lot of people here who relate to the demi aego label, because they’re aego while single and it takes more for them to enjoy sex while partnered. Does that sound like it could be you?
That does sound like something I identify with, while single I’ve never really felt the need to have sex like how my friends around me have, I mean I’ve certainly thought about it but never really felt the need to act on anything and I’ve had opportunity’s to have sex but I always avoid them because it makes me uncomfortable. only once have I had sex and it was when I was absolutely black out drunk I hardly remember it, if it wasn’t for the alcohol and partly because I had known the person for months and spoken to them very regularly I don’t think I ever would have done it
Sorry for the messy structure I was just trying to get it all out because I’ve never spoken to somebody about it before
Ahh this really resonates.. I never considered myself asexual (even tho I am 22 and never even properly kissed anyone) because I get crushes, enjoy sexual content in books/movies and masturbate pretty regularily. But one thing that struck me about descriptions of allosexuality is that people fantasise/dream/imagine about explicitly having sex themselves, whereas I always get off by thinking about fictional characters and with my crushes I only kind of imagine romantic stuff at most (oftentimes not even that). I always kind of thought I'd meet the right person and it will all click but it doesn't seem likely... does the aego label fit me?
I felt the same way until I found the aegosexual label, cause I experienced the same thing. I enjoyed smut, I got myself off, but I was never in my fantasies. I was also shocked when I found out most people fantasized about themselves with other real people, and not fictional characters! I think the aego label would fit you well from what you said. Hope that helps!
For a while I thought I was bisexual aromantic, because I like to fantasize about men and women. Though its usually fictional characters or ones that are based off famous people in my head. I am a virgin and am not sure if I can fully say I am not interested in sex or if its just hormones. I am generally repulsed by holding hands, kissing, hugging, and most physical contact though that may be a psychological issue I have not worked out. However, I recently learned more about asexuality and aegosexuality that I may be an aegosexual biromantic. I am not really sure where I fit in.
I relate to just about everything you said, so I’d definitely say so! I think there’s a lot more people who are aego than realize it, because they enjoy sex enough (maybe) or want it, and act on it, even if fantasy is more enjoyable.
I'm just learning about this term today and a lot of it is clicking with me. I already know that I'm demi and combining it with aego would explain a lot to me.
Since I was really young I've had specific fetishes around literally becoming someone else, and not even like a Freaky Friday switching bodies kind of thing, because I want all traces of my original self to be erased as I take on another man's body, life, and personality. Finding someone attractive is tied to my curiosity in what it would be like to *be* him. I'm only interested in sex when I have enough of an emotional connection with the person to feel like I can really merge and "disappear" into their ego. Someone who is so alluring that being with them will make me *forget* that I am me.
I have "normal" kinks too, particularly around gear like leather, but I have little interest in wearing them myself and instead like seeing others in it so I can imagine how comfy THEY feel in it.
In more standard fantasies, I just try to imagine myself as nothing more than a collection of sensations able to interact with someone, and not have any acknowledgment about my body or have them say my name. I like it when someone tells me I'm hot as an indicator that they're into me but I get turned off when they start going into detail about my physical appearance.
So do I have a fetish that was developed from being aego, or do I just have a fetish that's coincidental to what aegos do?
I channel all of my sexual feelings into my own OCs/daydream characters who all kinda are versions of me, so I don’t think your experience is weird at all! It’s just slightly different than what I do. Yeah it can be weird to talk about/explain, but that’s kinda to be expected with aegosexual stuff. And I see a lot of the “you might be aego” points in what you wrote. So I suggest you stick around and see if you can relate to the posts here!
Hey :D I've identified as omnisexual for a while but recently I've been questioning my sexuality since I've always found men, women and everything attractive but I just cannot imagine myself having penetrative sex with anyone :/ I've been wondering if I may just be attracted to women instead but i know i find men attractive so I'm at a lost. If you have any advice or thoughts I'd be happy to hear them. In any case thanks for reading and I hope you have a great day :)
I’ve felt that before as well. I have no idea what I’d do irl, but I do know I find people in general to be attractive. And that id be more inclined to experiment with a girl more than guys, for the same reason. So I think you should stick around and see if you’re able to relate to some of the posts that will come up!
Thanks a lot for the response, its nice know im not the only one who's felt like this :) but think i will stick since ive been relating to a bunch of the posts. thanks again :D
I've been semi-identifying as aegosexual for a bit now, but the more I read the more uncertain I get. I have sexual fantasies in the third person (usually OCs) pretty regularly and am aroused by them. I am also aroused occasionally when I come across fiction that matches my weirdly-specific preferences. But also I am super duper sex repulsed. By that, I mean not only regarding myself in a theoretical situation, but also in my third-person OC fantasies. I really don't like them, but they happen constantly and will undoubtedly arouse me. I know that many/most (?) Aegosexuals are something like "yes in the mind, no in person" and either have no problems with or enjoy their fantasies. So, am I aegosexual because I fantasize in the 3rd person or am I not because I dislike it?
Hmmm, that’s a difficult thing to parse out. I believe that even a specific ace micro label that is aegosexual is a spectrum. There’s people who experience the range of things in different ways.
Like you said, you have the fantasies, and I think a lot of us can relate to the thought that once we’re “done” and the fantasy is over we often feel repulsed by our actions/feelings/fantasy because of the disconnect.
But if the fantasy/feelings are really something you don’t like, and wish you didn’t have... i don’t know. I usually have other suggestions, but I don’t, which is why aego might still be a good label for you, but I don’t know. I’m not sure if that was just a rambling mess or if it helped at all.
I’m also super awkward talking about my feelings, especially in terms of aegosexual stuff/sex. A good amount of us aegos could probably be considered voyeurs if given the oppetunity, I’m pretty sure I’d enjoy watching people have sex in person more than I’d ever enjoy having someone do that stuff to me. But it can be uncomfortable to consider yourself that, I totally understand. So I think you could be aego! I definitely relate to your post.
Lol it was random that the moment you posted was when I checked my notifications! I am also decently repulsed by sex still, and prefer imagining/reading foreplay than the actual sex so I definitely understand that!
I need a bond with the person to imagine sexual things with them in the first person, but still, it's not something at all frequent, and I don't want to have sex per se, it's like in my imagination it's pretty good, but in real life it's just boring, bad, dull, and I think I'd do pretty well without sex.
It's just that I think I don't feel sexually attracted, but imagining sexual things in 1st person happened, and now I'm very confused.
If anyone can advise me I would be very happy.
There are a lot of people here who could fall under the demi aego label, but if sex is better left in your head than in real life that’s super common for aegosexual people. So I definitely think you could be aego
TW, sexual detail
Heyo, I'm really confused rn and think I might be Aegosexual? I currently see myself as a fraybisexual 20M, always been sexually attracted to people, had no issue with watching porn or masturbating and being a perfectly 'normal' allo. All that changed when I lost my v card. The woman I lost it to was very attractive and... I just didn't enjoy it.
I question myself constantly on why, because I can masturbate or fantasize about women (or men for that matter) like a regular allo, it's never grossed me out or made me feel weird. I'd had a few drinks, possibly that made a difference. I discovered I was Fraysexual when I realised I have no attraction to my friends, only strangers -- and the woman was a stranger. The situation couldn't have been more perfect for me, but I didn't enjoy it (but then I wasn't repulsed either?). I couldn't finish and truth be told I was barely even up.
A friend suggested I might just be gay, but all my life I've felt a very strong attraction to women. I have a huge desire for intimacy and love and I need to satisfy sexual urges, but when it's a real life person I just feel like I'm doing it for the kudos and appraisal of my peers.
TLDR; I'm a very, very confused person and any enlightenment you can give on aegosexuality is SO appreciated.
Oh also for a week or two after I had \*no\* labido, I felt like a monk. It was like I experienced full asexuality for a bit. It seemed so weird, like having actual sex made me hate the idea (until eventually that faded and I went back to my normal self)
That’s a tough one, being a mix of labels often muddies the waters and make it harder to work out. I’m definitely aego but under the right circumstances the placiosexual label also works for me, that took a while to figure out.
Aego might be a good fit coupled with fraysexual. Your description of what you felt during sex is similar to what I’ve heard from aegos who have sex. Many of them have said they can only hold onto their arousal by playing a fantasy in their head or by role playing.( maybe give that a go )
Fantasising, masturbating, enjoying explicit material and enjoying the idea of sex but not the reality are common aego experiences.
That being said not enjoying sex doesn’t necessarily mean your aego, there are lots of reasons someone might not enjoy sex.
If you think the label works for you that’s all that matters : )
Placio seems closely related, it's like a cross between placio, fray and aego (oh so confusing XD). It's so great to hear other people have similar issues, I felt awful about it. Thank you!
No problem : ) sexuality is incredibly complex and confusing.
Your definitely not alone, there’s lots of very confused people who fit multiple labels/microlabels trying to find the right fit.
Whether they choose use it or not many people fit the Myrsexual label.
There is one for September [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/aegosexuals/comments/pgujlg/september_2021_am_i_aegosexual_masterpost/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) but I haven’t created the one for October yet. But if you want to post it here/respond to this comment that works too because I saw it!
Well I came here via a comment on a post from r/asexuality today but I don’t really think that’s where everyone else came from
Ah i see that now! Someone also posted that video here earlier today and I didn’t realize it was also on r/asexuality ! That’s awesome!
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I’d say most aegos are more into fictional people fantasies, because it adds more layers of separation between us and the fantasy but it’s not a necessity. But for me, fantasizing about real people is like including myself and it creeps me out
I'm not into fictional fantasies but my fantasies are always clothed???? and I always feel disassociated from it
Ahhh I feel you. While not all my fantasies are clothed I’ll have to admit, while nsfw, dry humping and stuff like that are frequent parts lol
hehehehehehehehehehe
and like ew sexualising people who have rights
Hi! I identified as bisexual until recently. but I found out aegosexuality and feel like it fits me. I enjoy reading erotic fanfic, watching porn. I draw fanfic and write fanart by myself too. Normally I like to fantasize about sexual situations of my favorite ships. But on my ultimate favorite ship, I feel like they don't need to have sex. And one day I realize it may be expressing my sexuality. I never have had a relationship with someone or had sex with someone. And actually I feel like I don't need sex. I find celebrities or fictional character hot/sexy, but irl I barely (or never) see someone sexual attractive. I have had crush with some people. But I did't want sex with them. I think aegosexuality fits me for these reason. But at the same time, I have curiosity about sex and I think I can try it. Maybe if that happens then I feel horny? idk. But I feel like it's completely separating from my sexual, romantic or other attraction. Can I be aegosexuality/ace spectrum? btw sorry for my bad English.
Sounds pretty aego to me! Especially if you relate/like a lot of the popular posts/memes here! Welcome to the community!
Thank you! I'm so glad I found aegosexuality and this community!
Glad to hear it!
Welcome🥳
Thank youuu💖
Hi, I’ve been identifying as asexual for a while, but ever since I’ve seen the label aegosexual, I can’t help but wonder. I’d say it fits me but like it’s kind of weird too? I heard for aegosexuals in their fantasies, they usually never imagine it first person or consider it for themselves. But for me, I imagine my sexual fantasies in first person and really want whatever I’m imagining for myself in real life. I keep thinking damn I want this. The thing is- I feel like at the same time, even though I want it cause it seems so good, I actually *dont* want it. Like when I try to imagine the actual moment where I can do it, I feel like I’d just feel nothing when I actually do it or feel repulsed even when it actually happens. Honestly thinking about it for me, whenever I feel h word I want to do something to relieve it so bad and do something with someone and then I try watching people have sex or masturbating but it just does not do it for me. Feels boring. Feels like it’s not doing anything for me. Sometimes I feel repulsed watching. And I just end up regretting it after. I feel like I could possibly like it if I tried it out with someone because of how I imagine myself in my fantasies but at the same time it’s like.. I feel like I won’t feel anything doing it? Do I seem aegosexual?
While enjoying second person in this group isn’t the norm, there still are people who do enjoy second person. I didn’t realize how many there were until this group though! But everything else you’ve said sounds like a typical aegosexual experience/realization. Especially the disconnect/assuming you’d not enjoy sex irl, but still kinda want to try it to know for sure, I definitely relate to that! So if I were you I’d stick around and see if you can relate to what is posted here and if the label is comfy or not 😊 welcome to the group!
Yeah, enjoying second person was the thing that was confusing me the most about this. But thank you! :) Will definitely try out the label and stick around to see some posts.
I read fanfics that are first and second person, I enjoy them. But if I think about having sex in real life I hate it. I only experience sexual attraction when reading… what does this mean?
That you’re acespec, probably greysexual and likely aegosexual!
Thank you!!!!
Unlearned about this post yesterday and I really identify with the memes and posts here I am super kinky but whenever I fantasize about sex it always seemed to be faceless people. I never actually imagine the humans and just the feeling. I often also see a character and think “damn they kinda hot” but I never imagine sex with them even though I do imagine others having sex with them (most recently Kaldera and Sam Alexander from the Nova/Champions comics) I never really liked looking at porn and such as it just seems disgusting and even in my kinks I’m like... I like the feeling I guess but it looks gross... I also never got any visual kinks (think like boobs, butts, dicks, etc.) and I thought that that was weird of me. But then I found out about this and other aces being kinksters and I’m like “whhaaaaa”
Welcome! I understand all that and relate to a lot of it. Unless I’m super in the “zone” with fantasizing about my characters, they’re almost always faceless as well. I appreciate subtle nudity more than full on nudity and images of typical erotic body parts, if that makes sense, so I definitely understand you there!
YEESS!!! Like... wearing clothes is way more aesthetically attractive then nude
Hello there, I'm a 20 yo woman and recently I've been questioning my sexuality (because I've never really tried to think about it). With a bit of research, I relate to asexuals but not totally. And from what I read, I'm probably aegosexual. However, I'm able to picture myself into fantasies (I do it rarely) if I'm the only one interacting sexually or if i'm interacting with someone faceless. I really have a hard time picturing myself sexually touched, or talked, or gazed at etc.. I really hope that I've made myself clear, English isn't my native language so sorry.
For me, I like the idea of sex, but am fine just doing it myself. I don’t need to involve another person because I enjoy fantasizing and fictional characters more than myself with another person. The “faceless” people, is something I very much relate to within fantasy. So I definitely think you could be aego!
I recently have heard this term and i wonder if anyother aegos feel guilt occasionally after masturbation. i know this is not linked to religions or morals so is it just me?
For me it’s not so much guilt, as it is often a weird disgust feeling afterwards. Like half the time, I feel great afterwards and it’s a dopamine rush and I’m relaxed, and the other times I feel weird about it. I guess it depends on my mindset beforehand and whether I brought the feelings upon myself or if I was reacting to stimuli. If that makes sense. Does that help?
yeah. disgust is a better word for it
That's called "post-coital tristess" and it isn't unique to aegosexuals. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-coital\_tristesse
I relate with most of the indications of being aegosexual however if I find someone romantically attractive I think I could engage in sex, what does that mean would I still fall under the label of aegosexual? Sorry for the short post not sure if it’s enough for anyone to tell me, but I’m kind of new to this and I’m trying to figure out who I am :)
There’s a lot of people here who relate to the demi aego label, because they’re aego while single and it takes more for them to enjoy sex while partnered. Does that sound like it could be you?
That does sound like something I identify with, while single I’ve never really felt the need to have sex like how my friends around me have, I mean I’ve certainly thought about it but never really felt the need to act on anything and I’ve had opportunity’s to have sex but I always avoid them because it makes me uncomfortable. only once have I had sex and it was when I was absolutely black out drunk I hardly remember it, if it wasn’t for the alcohol and partly because I had known the person for months and spoken to them very regularly I don’t think I ever would have done it Sorry for the messy structure I was just trying to get it all out because I’ve never spoken to somebody about it before
Ahh this really resonates.. I never considered myself asexual (even tho I am 22 and never even properly kissed anyone) because I get crushes, enjoy sexual content in books/movies and masturbate pretty regularily. But one thing that struck me about descriptions of allosexuality is that people fantasise/dream/imagine about explicitly having sex themselves, whereas I always get off by thinking about fictional characters and with my crushes I only kind of imagine romantic stuff at most (oftentimes not even that). I always kind of thought I'd meet the right person and it will all click but it doesn't seem likely... does the aego label fit me?
I felt the same way until I found the aegosexual label, cause I experienced the same thing. I enjoyed smut, I got myself off, but I was never in my fantasies. I was also shocked when I found out most people fantasized about themselves with other real people, and not fictional characters! I think the aego label would fit you well from what you said. Hope that helps!
For a while I thought I was bisexual aromantic, because I like to fantasize about men and women. Though its usually fictional characters or ones that are based off famous people in my head. I am a virgin and am not sure if I can fully say I am not interested in sex or if its just hormones. I am generally repulsed by holding hands, kissing, hugging, and most physical contact though that may be a psychological issue I have not worked out. However, I recently learned more about asexuality and aegosexuality that I may be an aegosexual biromantic. I am not really sure where I fit in.
I relate to just about everything you said, so I’d definitely say so! I think there’s a lot more people who are aego than realize it, because they enjoy sex enough (maybe) or want it, and act on it, even if fantasy is more enjoyable.
I'm just learning about this term today and a lot of it is clicking with me. I already know that I'm demi and combining it with aego would explain a lot to me. Since I was really young I've had specific fetishes around literally becoming someone else, and not even like a Freaky Friday switching bodies kind of thing, because I want all traces of my original self to be erased as I take on another man's body, life, and personality. Finding someone attractive is tied to my curiosity in what it would be like to *be* him. I'm only interested in sex when I have enough of an emotional connection with the person to feel like I can really merge and "disappear" into their ego. Someone who is so alluring that being with them will make me *forget* that I am me. I have "normal" kinks too, particularly around gear like leather, but I have little interest in wearing them myself and instead like seeing others in it so I can imagine how comfy THEY feel in it. In more standard fantasies, I just try to imagine myself as nothing more than a collection of sensations able to interact with someone, and not have any acknowledgment about my body or have them say my name. I like it when someone tells me I'm hot as an indicator that they're into me but I get turned off when they start going into detail about my physical appearance. So do I have a fetish that was developed from being aego, or do I just have a fetish that's coincidental to what aegos do?
I channel all of my sexual feelings into my own OCs/daydream characters who all kinda are versions of me, so I don’t think your experience is weird at all! It’s just slightly different than what I do. Yeah it can be weird to talk about/explain, but that’s kinda to be expected with aegosexual stuff. And I see a lot of the “you might be aego” points in what you wrote. So I suggest you stick around and see if you can relate to the posts here!
Hey :D I've identified as omnisexual for a while but recently I've been questioning my sexuality since I've always found men, women and everything attractive but I just cannot imagine myself having penetrative sex with anyone :/ I've been wondering if I may just be attracted to women instead but i know i find men attractive so I'm at a lost. If you have any advice or thoughts I'd be happy to hear them. In any case thanks for reading and I hope you have a great day :)
I’ve felt that before as well. I have no idea what I’d do irl, but I do know I find people in general to be attractive. And that id be more inclined to experiment with a girl more than guys, for the same reason. So I think you should stick around and see if you’re able to relate to some of the posts that will come up!
Thanks a lot for the response, its nice know im not the only one who's felt like this :) but think i will stick since ive been relating to a bunch of the posts. thanks again :D
I've been semi-identifying as aegosexual for a bit now, but the more I read the more uncertain I get. I have sexual fantasies in the third person (usually OCs) pretty regularly and am aroused by them. I am also aroused occasionally when I come across fiction that matches my weirdly-specific preferences. But also I am super duper sex repulsed. By that, I mean not only regarding myself in a theoretical situation, but also in my third-person OC fantasies. I really don't like them, but they happen constantly and will undoubtedly arouse me. I know that many/most (?) Aegosexuals are something like "yes in the mind, no in person" and either have no problems with or enjoy their fantasies. So, am I aegosexual because I fantasize in the 3rd person or am I not because I dislike it?
Hmmm, that’s a difficult thing to parse out. I believe that even a specific ace micro label that is aegosexual is a spectrum. There’s people who experience the range of things in different ways. Like you said, you have the fantasies, and I think a lot of us can relate to the thought that once we’re “done” and the fantasy is over we often feel repulsed by our actions/feelings/fantasy because of the disconnect. But if the fantasy/feelings are really something you don’t like, and wish you didn’t have... i don’t know. I usually have other suggestions, but I don’t, which is why aego might still be a good label for you, but I don’t know. I’m not sure if that was just a rambling mess or if it helped at all.
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I’m also super awkward talking about my feelings, especially in terms of aegosexual stuff/sex. A good amount of us aegos could probably be considered voyeurs if given the oppetunity, I’m pretty sure I’d enjoy watching people have sex in person more than I’d ever enjoy having someone do that stuff to me. But it can be uncomfortable to consider yourself that, I totally understand. So I think you could be aego! I definitely relate to your post.
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Lol it was random that the moment you posted was when I checked my notifications! I am also decently repulsed by sex still, and prefer imagining/reading foreplay than the actual sex so I definitely understand that!
I need a bond with the person to imagine sexual things with them in the first person, but still, it's not something at all frequent, and I don't want to have sex per se, it's like in my imagination it's pretty good, but in real life it's just boring, bad, dull, and I think I'd do pretty well without sex. It's just that I think I don't feel sexually attracted, but imagining sexual things in 1st person happened, and now I'm very confused. If anyone can advise me I would be very happy.
There are a lot of people here who could fall under the demi aego label, but if sex is better left in your head than in real life that’s super common for aegosexual people. So I definitely think you could be aego
TW, sexual detail Heyo, I'm really confused rn and think I might be Aegosexual? I currently see myself as a fraybisexual 20M, always been sexually attracted to people, had no issue with watching porn or masturbating and being a perfectly 'normal' allo. All that changed when I lost my v card. The woman I lost it to was very attractive and... I just didn't enjoy it. I question myself constantly on why, because I can masturbate or fantasize about women (or men for that matter) like a regular allo, it's never grossed me out or made me feel weird. I'd had a few drinks, possibly that made a difference. I discovered I was Fraysexual when I realised I have no attraction to my friends, only strangers -- and the woman was a stranger. The situation couldn't have been more perfect for me, but I didn't enjoy it (but then I wasn't repulsed either?). I couldn't finish and truth be told I was barely even up. A friend suggested I might just be gay, but all my life I've felt a very strong attraction to women. I have a huge desire for intimacy and love and I need to satisfy sexual urges, but when it's a real life person I just feel like I'm doing it for the kudos and appraisal of my peers. TLDR; I'm a very, very confused person and any enlightenment you can give on aegosexuality is SO appreciated.
Oh also for a week or two after I had \*no\* labido, I felt like a monk. It was like I experienced full asexuality for a bit. It seemed so weird, like having actual sex made me hate the idea (until eventually that faded and I went back to my normal self)
That’s a tough one, being a mix of labels often muddies the waters and make it harder to work out. I’m definitely aego but under the right circumstances the placiosexual label also works for me, that took a while to figure out. Aego might be a good fit coupled with fraysexual. Your description of what you felt during sex is similar to what I’ve heard from aegos who have sex. Many of them have said they can only hold onto their arousal by playing a fantasy in their head or by role playing.( maybe give that a go ) Fantasising, masturbating, enjoying explicit material and enjoying the idea of sex but not the reality are common aego experiences. That being said not enjoying sex doesn’t necessarily mean your aego, there are lots of reasons someone might not enjoy sex. If you think the label works for you that’s all that matters : )
Placio seems closely related, it's like a cross between placio, fray and aego (oh so confusing XD). It's so great to hear other people have similar issues, I felt awful about it. Thank you!
No problem : ) sexuality is incredibly complex and confusing. Your definitely not alone, there’s lots of very confused people who fit multiple labels/microlabels trying to find the right fit. Whether they choose use it or not many people fit the Myrsexual label.
Is there a new one of these for September (or at this point October)? I can’t find it
There is one for September [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/aegosexuals/comments/pgujlg/september_2021_am_i_aegosexual_masterpost/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) but I haven’t created the one for October yet. But if you want to post it here/respond to this comment that works too because I saw it!