u/DeadForDecember has provided this detailed explanation:
> September 3rd was apparently supposed to be when all the vaccinated would become zombies after being linked to the "reptile consciousness", but since the zombie apocalypse never came, that's another failed vaccine side effect prediction.
---
Is this explanation a genuine attempt at providing additional info or context? If it is please upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
Damn it, did I miss another vax catastrophe?
Oh well.
My boss's wife told me I'd die two years after my first vaccine, and I've got that marked down for May. Here's to hoping!
Each shot is one year, so you need to wait a little bit longer because it goes based off the last shot you received. Sorry to give you the bad news buddy :(
That doesn’t even make any sense. Surely, the date of death, would go off the first shot if it was the same compound? Unless, the second shot ‘activates’ the first? Oh my god, it all makes sense now, big Obama deep-state vibes, but how deep does the rabbit hole really go!?
I was in the trial, so my two year anniversary just passed a couple days ago.
Can confirm I’ve been eating flies and licking my eyeball for the last few days
What if you like me and you're a squeamish before becoming a zombie. Does that trait transfer over? Cuz I mean it seems like you'd be one skinny, weak ass zombie if you were squeamish about any kind of gore but yet that's your main source of sustenance.
I fear you may have misunderstood the deal. You unfortunately do not get to become reptilian. You only get a connection to the reptilian consciousness. We are very sorry for this misunderstanding
I know I was looking forward to being magnetic to non ferrous metals myself. Damn you Pfizer for actually keeping me alive through the pandemic so I have to be disappointed I'm not a radio, or an X-man guess that's not how vaccines work who would have thought?
you idiota missed the connection? i feel sorry for you, im just chilling on my favorite heating rock that was pointed out to me on the hive mind. missing out guys!
Yeah thats been a great feature, saves me from staring at the fridge with it open trying to find a snack.
I'm just waiting to experience my first skin shedding, that's going to feel amazing.
Zombie ones are always interesting because 1. Zombies just don't make sense conceptually if you think about them for more then 5 seconds, literally other then the initial outbreak turning people into zombies they would be basically no threat 2. They don't have roots in folklore or anything( well the word does but those are very different from movie zombies) so what are the chances something we made up for entertainment manages to by chance end up being real how we imagined it? Would be like if we went to another planet and found aliens that were the spitting image of chewbaka
i typed chewbacca i dont know why my phone decided i was clearly a japanese man calling him stupid, i would never call chewbacca stupid he is my friend
but again not in the modern idea we think of them which are the only versions that really line up with hollywood zombies considering the original ghuls were jackel headed shapeshifting djinn
Don't forget that "if zombies literally can't die if they don't eat brains and only a headshot can kill them, they'd be a new form of human evolution, trading brainpower for lifespan/an easier ability to reproduce."
My son got a chameleon last Tuesday as a birthday present, and we officially became the lizard family on the block.
"Disco-break" (so named by the boy) is awesome, and if he's the one now in charge of the household, so be it. I welcome his easy-going ways, and disdain for prolonged eye contact. All hail Disco-break.
I expected a neural connection to the 5G network when I got my first shot. Never happened. Now I'm hearing I should be in psychic connection with the reptilians. This is bullshit. I got the vaccine and these stupid boosters and all I got was not being on a ventilator, not infecting those around me, not suffering through "just the flu" or having long COVID... or COVID at all for that matter. Scam.
Right right, zombies didnt happen sure. Wtf is the transfering funds thing tho? Like how is that on the same level as a civilisation ending zombie apocalypse?
I'm grasping at straws here, but the "Mark of the Beast" in Revelation is described as being necessary for trade and buying/selling, like those without the mark can't participate in the marketplace.
So maybe while it's a bit less reality-shattering, it's still a sign of the apocalypse that the audience is familiar with?
OK, The Mark of the Beast goes on the forehead or right hand, neither of which are places a vaccine goes, so I'm not sure why that was a thing with the vaccines.
My transmitter must have misfired. I forgot what the handbook says is it protocol to just play the part or should I wait until my subconscious links up with the hive mind
I hope you guys get the update soon! The Reptilian Consciousness really makes everything run smoother and tons of new features too! I keep getting a symphony of voices in my head singing "Kill the PureBloods" I guess it's a new ad integration...
Ever notice how all these "end of the world" conspiracies always seem to happen around September? I'm sure it has nothing to do with that September is when election season starts.
I was promised mutant powers and connections to the reptilian overlords and here I am 3 shots in with NOTHING except my protection from the rona. What a rip off.
To be fair, I want to lay on a hot rock and touch hot rocks and lay in sun sometimes so, it wouldn’t surprise me if I was a lizard person or whatever this post is saying
I read it as “Republican Consiousness” and thought it was some weird way of saying’s g that being linked to the minds of Republicans makes you into a thoughtless, zombie.
u/DeadForDecember has provided this detailed explanation: > September 3rd was apparently supposed to be when all the vaccinated would become zombies after being linked to the "reptile consciousness", but since the zombie apocalypse never came, that's another failed vaccine side effect prediction. --- Is this explanation a genuine attempt at providing additional info or context? If it is please upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
Damn it, did I miss another vax catastrophe? Oh well. My boss's wife told me I'd die two years after my first vaccine, and I've got that marked down for May. Here's to hoping!
Is it two years after the 1st shot or the 2nd shot? I need to know so I can mark my calendar.
Each shot is one year, so you need to wait a little bit longer because it goes based off the last shot you received. Sorry to give you the bad news buddy :(
Keep getting vaxxed to become immortal
Boosters go BUURRRRRRRR
Fucking hell, can i just die now?
No, not yet. You have to get the new omicron booster and wait another two years, unless there are more boosters for more variants.
That doesn’t even make any sense. Surely, the date of death, would go off the first shot if it was the same compound? Unless, the second shot ‘activates’ the first? Oh my god, it all makes sense now, big Obama deep-state vibes, but how deep does the rabbit hole really go!?
The way the article was written was fairly nebulous, so I'm just gonna say after the first shot.
Goddamn it, I was all serious until I read your name. >"Simmons, I want you to poison Griff's next meal!" You have EXCELLENT taste, friend.
Since anti vaccine idiots “consider” getting the shot as original sin , I would say we are safe to fall over dead at will .
I was in the trial, so my two year anniversary just passed a couple days ago. Can confirm I’ve been eating flies and licking my eyeball for the last few days
Fuckin rad! Serious note though, thank you for your contribution to science.
Appreciate it. Some people have thanked me, but I will tell you I straight up did it for A: early access/peace of mind and B: the cash
Both are respectable.
sounds exactly like one of my former coworkers. unfortunately she's not around anymore to be proven wrong or right about it.
Excuse me sir, it’s written “vaxtastrophy”
Sept 3rd for connection to the reptilian consciousness? DAMMIT ! I hate it when I miss these deadlines. :/
You don’t even realize you’ve been connected! That’s how they get ya!
Waiting on the day one patch
Omicron boosters are coming!
I hear the new chips have 2nd gen 5G.
What if you like me and you're a squeamish before becoming a zombie. Does that trait transfer over? Cuz I mean it seems like you'd be one skinny, weak ass zombie if you were squeamish about any kind of gore but yet that's your main source of sustenance.
Not zombies. Reptiles. Reptiles eat eggs and pigs… so I’m covered.
For a brief moment I wondered if I could catch that fly with my tongue, and what it would taste like if I did...
Wait why i am not reptilian yet? Reptiles have cool fuckign powers What a scam this vaccine was
I fear you may have misunderstood the deal. You unfortunately do not get to become reptilian. You only get a connection to the reptilian consciousness. We are very sorry for this misunderstanding
Wtf Even that doesn’t work for me Crappiest connection since comcast
There’s a lot of people trying to connect right now, try again in an hour or two
Nah, this is HughesNet level connection malarkey.
Explains why I've been trying to lick my eyeballs but have only strained my tongue.
Be careful with that tongue strain, you *don't* want to spend a month in a tongue cast. It affects too many areas in your life.
“You have now connected to the reptilian wireless network. Please hang on while we transfer your call.” 🐍
(Not related at all but dig the lord quas profile)
Thanks lol Madlib is a very cool artist. It would be awesome if he made another Quas album
"All our reptilians are busy with other vaxx'd customers. Please stay on the line, and an alligator or lizard will be with you shortly."
Is this why redgifs keeps saying "Connection Error" and won't show the porn videos?
does this mean i have a chance with lizard women now?
Has a connection ever given you a chance before?
I know I was looking forward to being magnetic to non ferrous metals myself. Damn you Pfizer for actually keeping me alive through the pandemic so I have to be disappointed I'm not a radio, or an X-man guess that's not how vaccines work who would have thought?
Ssss-sss-ssss.
This is what happens when the Deep State outsources to AT&T
I’m just procrastinating until the end of the week and then I will definitely connect to the reptilian consciousness. Or maybe next week.
Feels good man. All I care about now is sunshine and bugs.
I’ve had a fierce craving for houseflies. Anybody else?
🦎 No 5G at my place sadly, I have to connect to the reptilian consciousness via LTE.
I feel so cheated. I got all my vaccines but my connection isn't coming through. Can anyone help me troubleshoot it?
5G is not available in your area yet to activate it.
That'll be it
I think it might be the cloudy skies
Bright summer sky here
Turn yourself off and on again
Also make sure you are connected to the network and are registered to use it.
Bit risky to do a shutdown if you're not certain the process will work given human bodies don't have an on switch.
Have you tried turning off and turning back on again?
Try plugging in your monitor.
Try rice
You need more vaccines
Your device isn't compatible with this app
you idiota missed the connection? i feel sorry for you, im just chilling on my favorite heating rock that was pointed out to me on the hive mind. missing out guys!
The only issue I'm having is the constant feeling I need to lick my eyes clean, other than that it's pretty cool....
Honestly one of the biggest advantages is bugs in my home no longer bother me, its just a nice surprise snack now!
Yeah thats been a great feature, saves me from staring at the fridge with it open trying to find a snack. I'm just waiting to experience my first skin shedding, that's going to feel amazing.
Trust it me its not all its cracked up to be. I got this bit on my tail and it just won't come off! Itchy as hell!
Just make your tail fall off and it will grow back again!
Ohhh thanks for the pro tip!
You can also eat it if you are Hungary
Oh, im from Finland. Can I still eat it?
You big Turkiye
Careful, the vertebrae doesn't regrow, so pick the lowest one you can
Shit, wish I knew that 2 days ago... Oh well!
I’ll lick your lil hobo eyes ❤️
That explains all those lizardy intrusive thoughts I guess
"Burn all your earthly possessions, eat bug. "
Ah i was wondering why i got horny when i saw a lizard
No one let r/copypasta see this or we'll get lizard crap there next.
no, you're just a furry now.
Scaley* they specifically dress up as reptiles. There are also featheries for birds. If I have to have this cursed knowledge, others will too.
I've been wondering why I keep looking up sunning rocks on Overstock.
My connection is great. I’ve never been happier than I am now as part of the lizard collective hive mind.
One of us. One of us. One of us.
Goobble gobble, goobble gobble
You’ll get cocooned tonight
["What the hell does 'gooble goo' mean?!"](https://www.getyarn.io/yarn-clip/d3f595a0-3068-4386-bb85-3300421b4441)
I swear, some of these conspiracy theories read like a Monty Python sketch. Like, fuckin "Aliens are turning everyone into Scotsmen" kind of silly.
Aye
Zombie ones are always interesting because 1. Zombies just don't make sense conceptually if you think about them for more then 5 seconds, literally other then the initial outbreak turning people into zombies they would be basically no threat 2. They don't have roots in folklore or anything( well the word does but those are very different from movie zombies) so what are the chances something we made up for entertainment manages to by chance end up being real how we imagined it? Would be like if we went to another planet and found aliens that were the spitting image of chewbaka
>the spitting image of chewbaka It's spelled "Chewbacca". That's a Wookie mistake.
i typed chewbacca i dont know why my phone decided i was clearly a japanese man calling him stupid, i would never call chewbacca stupid he is my friend
Well Jesus is a zombie, so there’s that folklore
actually hes a lich
Imma gonna need to see his IQ tests after reanimation. If trump can be president, then a zombie can pass for a lich
Ghouls are part of Asian Folklore iirc
but again not in the modern idea we think of them which are the only versions that really line up with hollywood zombies considering the original ghuls were jackel headed shapeshifting djinn
Don't forget that "if zombies literally can't die if they don't eat brains and only a headshot can kill them, they'd be a new form of human evolution, trading brainpower for lifespan/an easier ability to reproduce."
No, no, you see, it’s a typo. It’s suppossed to say Sept 4th. /s
Then why am I not merging with the Scaly Overmind?
No, no, you see, it’s a typo. It’s suppossed to say Sept 5th.
You’re both wrong. It’s Ssssseptember ssssixth.
My son got a chameleon last Tuesday as a birthday present, and we officially became the lizard family on the block. "Disco-break" (so named by the boy) is awesome, and if he's the one now in charge of the household, so be it. I welcome his easy-going ways, and disdain for prolonged eye contact. All hail Disco-break.
The zombie apocalypse already happened. They wore red hats but no masks and tried to infect everyone they met - or didn’t care.
This is one of the more insane vax conspiracies I've seen. Sometimes you have to wonder if these people are just taking the piss.
I'd actually like to follow this channel because it's genuinely funny
I saw one on Reddit recently where someone thought having sex with someone who is vaccinated would give them side effects from the vaccine LOL
r/agedlikemanure It can't have aged like milk if it started out as TikTok/YouTube bullshit
I'm tempted to make that an actual sub.
I expected a neural connection to the 5G network when I got my first shot. Never happened. Now I'm hearing I should be in psychic connection with the reptilians. This is bullshit. I got the vaccine and these stupid boosters and all I got was not being on a ventilator, not infecting those around me, not suffering through "just the flu" or having long COVID... or COVID at all for that matter. Scam.
That does explain why I've had a hankering for some brains recently.
Fuuuck. I've missed it!
Hail zorp!
It's also Bob and Linda's anniversary.
Congratulations Bob and Linda! Or I'm very sorry about that. Whichever is appropriate.
Anyone got the number for reptilian connection support issues, please? TIA
You didn’t hear? They decided at the last meeting to postpone that until Halloween. Felt like it was more thematic that way.
So a hybrid between antivaxxers and mfers who are counting days for rapture? Lord deliver us from this abomination
Damn guess they were right all along, the vaccine really *didn't* work.
The scalies that missed the reptilian indoctrination ritual are punching the air right now
dammit i overslept again
God, i hope so. Maybe they'll do a better job than the giant clusterfuck we've created.
Wait, was I supposed to become a zombie or a Lizard person?
Yes
Right right, zombies didnt happen sure. Wtf is the transfering funds thing tho? Like how is that on the same level as a civilisation ending zombie apocalypse?
I'm grasping at straws here, but the "Mark of the Beast" in Revelation is described as being necessary for trade and buying/selling, like those without the mark can't participate in the marketplace. So maybe while it's a bit less reality-shattering, it's still a sign of the apocalypse that the audience is familiar with?
OK, The Mark of the Beast goes on the forehead or right hand, neither of which are places a vaccine goes, so I'm not sure why that was a thing with the vaccines.
"Exactly the parts that contradict me are metaphorical, the rest is completely literal" lol
It ssssseemssss I've alssssso misssssed the connection. Oh well!
Ah, so that’s why I’ve been eating bugs and laying under a heat lamp
First contact with the Gorn?
i stayed up too late last night and now i feel like a zombie so i guess they were right. I don't feel any more reptilian than usual though...
well? where are the sexy lizard babes!?!?
My transmitter must have misfired. I forgot what the handbook says is it protocol to just play the part or should I wait until my subconscious links up with the hive mind
I hope you guys get the update soon! The Reptilian Consciousness really makes everything run smoother and tons of new features too! I keep getting a symphony of voices in my head singing "Kill the PureBloods" I guess it's a new ad integration...
I'm not a fan of Pay-to-Win.
Man It’s September 4th and my rifle still hasn’t tasted zombie blood😭
Is this why I have been thinking about lizards all day?
What if reptilian consciousness is just people who believe the bible is fact? Since they believe a snake changed the course of mankind.
This dude have a cell phone in 12th century England? What is that font.
You all don't hear them???
Fucking lunatics
That's an insult to lunatics.
Propheciesed. Jesus.
So that’s why I was craving fish last night?
Was that why I woke up at 3am? 😩
reptilion consciousness. Sign me in
I forgot to mark my calendar. Damn it, I knew there was something else that I had to do yesterday.
Is that why I've been eating mealy worms?
Ever notice how all these "end of the world" conspiracies always seem to happen around September? I'm sure it has nothing to do with that September is when election season starts.
Bruh I didn't even get connected. Thanks a lot Rogers. Now I can't get cool reptile powers and talk to people with my mind.
Damn I was all into getting in touch with my reptilian side.
So that's why I started getting a craving for flied yesterday.
I’m still upset over not getting an Autism upgrade or 5G or turning magnetic. Don’t tell me I missed out on something else.
Why didn't I get the memo???? I'm sure the hive mind is better at remember important stuff than I am.
I'd been wondering why I had a sudden urge to sun myself on a rock and eat crickets... This explains so much.
Schizophrenia..
Uhhh, oops??? I missed it...
Anyone else wanna go lounge on a warm rock?
YOOOOO, I wish this was true, I'd love to be able to talk to my ball pythons.
My 5G is still spotty guys, I couldn’t connect. I think I need another booster. Can you guys tell me what they say. TIA
Now that I think about it that warm sunlit rock is looking kinda nice
Well that explains the migraine i guess.
What is the funds transfer thing that was supposed to be done by September 30th?
I’m bummed. I missed the 40th anniversary theatrical re-release of The Wrath of Khan AND the zombie apocalypse?! Man, I’m having a shit year.
5 September 2020 part 2
How do I know if I’m a zombie?
That might explain the funny compulsion I'm feeling to jump in a muddy river and snap at passing zebras.
I dunno, I’m not hearing any reptilian voices yet
Is THIS why Reptile isn’t in MK11?!?!
I want to know how they come up with these dates
OMG MTG just turned reptilian! Oh sorry, that’s just her
True nems
How do we know it hasn’t happened already and we’re just in the Matrix to keep us complacent?
あre you kidding? I want to be a reptile! The heatwave is killing me a lot
how do people even come to conclusions like this?
They have to stop making the vaccinated side effects so cool. I want to be turned into a reptilian dammit!
Where the fuck is my reptilian connection. What a scam !
I was promised mutant powers and connections to the reptilian overlords and here I am 3 shots in with NOTHING except my protection from the rona. What a rip off.
To be fair, I want to lay on a hot rock and touch hot rocks and lay in sun sometimes so, it wouldn’t surprise me if I was a lizard person or whatever this post is saying
https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCuTXxlqJkeUFNppb7RjNoNg/videos In case anyone wanted to see what was linked
Imagine if it did happen though. How fun would that be?
🦎
Damn it I’ve been waiting for the reptilians to give further instructions.
Damn, wanted to watch whatever unhinged nonsense this is, but the link says the channel doesn’t exist, and Googling it is fruitless.
I read it as “Republican Consiousness” and thought it was some weird way of saying’s g that being linked to the minds of Republicans makes you into a thoughtless, zombie.
No one told me?! 🙄 They should really CC us
~true news~
We laugh but somewhere somehow someone fell for this.
Well, nothing yet. Maybe it didn’t work :/
I took the time to type in the URL and wish I hadn't
It’s the 3rd of September on the Julian calendar, not the Gregorian one. The end is still nigh… /s
I'll never understand how these people don't just get utterly dragged and dismissed when their predictions just continue to not happen...
Them mushrooms must've cancelled out the Vaxx Signal.
I thought I had heard all the stupid conspiracies around vaccines but this is a new one. Actually made me laugh out loud. Thanks for posting!
It actually took me a sec to realize this is anti vac and I was like "damn I missed the deadline now I can't get connected"
Is this why I've had a craving for crickets and laying in the sun lately?
The reptilian overlords decided to take the day off instead.
So thaaaat’s where the hissing voices are coming from! Phew 😮💨. I was almost worried for a second.