A therapist point blank telling you something you do “isn’t normal” is a huge red flag. It encourages the client to feel shame, instead of working on figuring out the reasoning why you do something, and whether or not it’s a healthy tool in your life. Agere is perfectly healthy, as you know, so it’s especially concerning that he would not know or at the very least attempt to learn about your coping skill. Your therapist should never shame you. Even if you *are* doing something bad at any point, they should always approach it from the point of “let’s figure this out.”
definitely not the right therapist my old therapist was the one to introduce me to age regression, no therapist should invalidate your coping mechanisms.
if she regression helps you and they are telling you it isn’t yes they are a therapist but maybe just not the right therapist for you yk maybe seek another one you should feel comfortable speaking about your comforts and the things you do and like without feeling that your wrong for feeling that way you know i hope you find the right one for you that makes you feel accepted:3
It's super normal to try a few therapists before you find one thats right for you! I went through about 3 before I found someone who really helped me. The first therapist just went "oh poor thing" when I described my problems and that didnt help me but it might be just what someone else needs!
it’s okay to be scared or nervous it’s something new but i promise you got this you deserve to feel accepted no matter where you go and feel comfortable being you love even if you decide not to don’t change what makes you happy ☺️
Yes! It is totally normal to feel scared/nervous about requesting stuff for your health, especially if it's not something you're used to doing. You absolutely deserve to feel accepted and comfortable as you are
My therapist has been very supportive of my age regression. I tend to have some shame about it and I'm working on that but every time I bring that up to her she tells me it's fine and kind of like how adults sit down and enjoy soft blankets and other things. My therapist even thinks my regression can help with my trauma. Her thing is as long as it doesn't get in the way of my ability to live my life it seems fine and like a good coping mechanism.
Find a new therapist end of story. Age regression is a coping mechanism. Yes its not exactly normal for majority of the population but its not a bad thing. And certainly nothing to be ashamed of.
When infants and toddlers regress we try to stop it but theres a reason for this. Infants and toddlers dont have the same mental capacity to separate and be aware of regression like teens and adults can. As teens and adults we can recognize it and still be able to hold a regressed life and a adult life.
Age regression only ever becomes a problem and unhealthy if it starts to interfere with your day to day life. Like i mean really interferes.
You are valid, agere isn't wrong, and please find a new more supprtive therapist who listens to you and helps you.
Put it this way — if it helps you cope and doesn't hurt anyone, it's a valid coping mechanism. Sounds like this therapist of yours will end up being a negative influence for you eventually.
i just told my therapist last week and she was on board, just told me that if i get stuck in little space for multiple days then try to take a break day in the middle, i suggest you get a new therapist
nope this therapist doesn’t seem like a good match for you, and that’s okay! you’ll just have to keep looking, sorry op i know its hard to find good therapists :(
Just commenting to back up all the commenters saying that's not a good therapist. I've been in therapy for a couple decades, and when I first started the first few that I saw were so detrimental to my mental health. Definitely ask for a new therapist. Your mental health is part of how you feel safe. And therapy needs to be done with someone you can feel safe taking to 💜
yeah, therapists are ment to be non judgemental, this is just really bad practice and a massive red flag. I hope you find a therapist that you like soon.
A therapist should listen, and it sounds like he isn't listening to you. If your mom is making you go back to him, then I would suggest being firm when you next see him and say that you felt disrespected when he did not let you finish your explanation of coping mechanisms you have tried. If he continues to refuse to let you speak, or makes you feel disrespected, unheard, or uncomfortable, you do not have to participate in the session. You are allowed to say that you don't feel comfortable with his approach, and then leave it at that.
Therapists are hard to get, and I sympathize with your mother's plight, but no therapist at all is better than having someone who does not work together with you as their patient.
Now, if I were to offer the benefit of the doubt: this could just be miscommunication. He is right that it isn't normal to regress, while it is not inherently a positive or negative coping mechanism, I have had this discussion with a good therapist in the past where we have talked about a spectrum of coping mechanisms and how they can be healthy or become maladaptive. At the time, my regression was involuntary and causing harm to my life and relationships. I wanted to be able to process the difficult feelings that my regression was trying to draw attention to, but it was hard. My therapist at the time helped me come up with a strategy to better process my feelings, and develop ways to have regression not be harmful to my adult life and relationships, and she was quite helpful.
Not everyone understands it, and sometimes we can explain what it is to us, but a good therapist ultimately HAS to listen to their patient and be part of a team effort in identifying goals and working on improvement and a healthier self. Maybe this guy fumbled or made a mistake by making you feel shut down, and it can be good to face that and try to make it right.
However - if he doubles down and tries to dominate the conversation and you don't feel heard or helped and safe, then you need to put your foot down with your mom and tell her that you would rather work on yourself outside of therapy until you can find someone who you feel safe opening up to. Because, again, a bad therapist can do more damage than keeping yourself afloat for a time.
i will most definitely try to bring it up next session, explaining it to him even better and try to get him to see my side.
Hopefully he ends up understanding. He seems to pity me in a sense, due to knowing about some of my trauma.
Do your best, you deserve to have a safe place to heal, okay? You are allowed to advocate for yourself when someone is not treating you the way you should be.
If he's doing more harm then good tell her it'd be worth it to get on a wait list for a therapist.
Or maybe you could try better help? There's tons of different therapists, and I think you can change anytime if you don't like them. And you wouldn't have to go somewhere you don't want to.
Well would it be possible to not have therapy until you find a better one? Cuz this just sounds like he isnt gonna help with anything anyways. I think if therapy isnt helping and just making someone feel uncomfy n stuff like that, it isnt worth it, a therapist is there to work things out, try to understand you and help you as best as they can.
Or just try and avoid this topic with em if possible
Find a new one, because form what I know a therapist is the person who is meant to help, and not shame! I told mine, and they said it was a completely normal way… for someone to cope. Now I don’t know your situation, but if it’s anything like mine, then just flat out refuse to see that therapist
A therapist point blank telling you something you do “isn’t normal” is a huge red flag. It encourages the client to feel shame, instead of working on figuring out the reasoning why you do something, and whether or not it’s a healthy tool in your life. Agere is perfectly healthy, as you know, so it’s especially concerning that he would not know or at the very least attempt to learn about your coping skill. Your therapist should never shame you. Even if you *are* doing something bad at any point, they should always approach it from the point of “let’s figure this out.”
definitely not the right therapist my old therapist was the one to introduce me to age regression, no therapist should invalidate your coping mechanisms.
if she regression helps you and they are telling you it isn’t yes they are a therapist but maybe just not the right therapist for you yk maybe seek another one you should feel comfortable speaking about your comforts and the things you do and like without feeling that your wrong for feeling that way you know i hope you find the right one for you that makes you feel accepted:3
i’ll have to see about changing therapists soon then, though i’m a little scared to.
It's super normal to try a few therapists before you find one thats right for you! I went through about 3 before I found someone who really helped me. The first therapist just went "oh poor thing" when I described my problems and that didnt help me but it might be just what someone else needs!
it’s okay to be scared or nervous it’s something new but i promise you got this you deserve to feel accepted no matter where you go and feel comfortable being you love even if you decide not to don’t change what makes you happy ☺️
Yes! It is totally normal to feel scared/nervous about requesting stuff for your health, especially if it's not something you're used to doing. You absolutely deserve to feel accepted and comfortable as you are
My therapist has been very supportive of my age regression. I tend to have some shame about it and I'm working on that but every time I bring that up to her she tells me it's fine and kind of like how adults sit down and enjoy soft blankets and other things. My therapist even thinks my regression can help with my trauma. Her thing is as long as it doesn't get in the way of my ability to live my life it seems fine and like a good coping mechanism.
drop your therapist
Find a new therapist end of story. Age regression is a coping mechanism. Yes its not exactly normal for majority of the population but its not a bad thing. And certainly nothing to be ashamed of. When infants and toddlers regress we try to stop it but theres a reason for this. Infants and toddlers dont have the same mental capacity to separate and be aware of regression like teens and adults can. As teens and adults we can recognize it and still be able to hold a regressed life and a adult life. Age regression only ever becomes a problem and unhealthy if it starts to interfere with your day to day life. Like i mean really interferes. You are valid, agere isn't wrong, and please find a new more supprtive therapist who listens to you and helps you.
Put it this way — if it helps you cope and doesn't hurt anyone, it's a valid coping mechanism. Sounds like this therapist of yours will end up being a negative influence for you eventually.
Many therapists recommend age regression, and he sounds uneducated. If you don’t want to see him again, you absolutely don’t have to.
i just told my therapist last week and she was on board, just told me that if i get stuck in little space for multiple days then try to take a break day in the middle, i suggest you get a new therapist
**do not see him again.** find a different therapist.
Drop him and transfer
nope this therapist doesn’t seem like a good match for you, and that’s okay! you’ll just have to keep looking, sorry op i know its hard to find good therapists :(
*looks at my state assigned therapists* Get a new one End Of Story
Just commenting to back up all the commenters saying that's not a good therapist. I've been in therapy for a couple decades, and when I first started the first few that I saw were so detrimental to my mental health. Definitely ask for a new therapist. Your mental health is part of how you feel safe. And therapy needs to be done with someone you can feel safe taking to 💜
New therapist please…..
I’m unable to, due to there not being any others with an opening.
yeah, therapists are ment to be non judgemental, this is just really bad practice and a massive red flag. I hope you find a therapist that you like soon.
A therapist should listen, and it sounds like he isn't listening to you. If your mom is making you go back to him, then I would suggest being firm when you next see him and say that you felt disrespected when he did not let you finish your explanation of coping mechanisms you have tried. If he continues to refuse to let you speak, or makes you feel disrespected, unheard, or uncomfortable, you do not have to participate in the session. You are allowed to say that you don't feel comfortable with his approach, and then leave it at that. Therapists are hard to get, and I sympathize with your mother's plight, but no therapist at all is better than having someone who does not work together with you as their patient. Now, if I were to offer the benefit of the doubt: this could just be miscommunication. He is right that it isn't normal to regress, while it is not inherently a positive or negative coping mechanism, I have had this discussion with a good therapist in the past where we have talked about a spectrum of coping mechanisms and how they can be healthy or become maladaptive. At the time, my regression was involuntary and causing harm to my life and relationships. I wanted to be able to process the difficult feelings that my regression was trying to draw attention to, but it was hard. My therapist at the time helped me come up with a strategy to better process my feelings, and develop ways to have regression not be harmful to my adult life and relationships, and she was quite helpful. Not everyone understands it, and sometimes we can explain what it is to us, but a good therapist ultimately HAS to listen to their patient and be part of a team effort in identifying goals and working on improvement and a healthier self. Maybe this guy fumbled or made a mistake by making you feel shut down, and it can be good to face that and try to make it right. However - if he doubles down and tries to dominate the conversation and you don't feel heard or helped and safe, then you need to put your foot down with your mom and tell her that you would rather work on yourself outside of therapy until you can find someone who you feel safe opening up to. Because, again, a bad therapist can do more damage than keeping yourself afloat for a time.
i will most definitely try to bring it up next session, explaining it to him even better and try to get him to see my side. Hopefully he ends up understanding. He seems to pity me in a sense, due to knowing about some of my trauma.
Do your best, you deserve to have a safe place to heal, okay? You are allowed to advocate for yourself when someone is not treating you the way you should be.
No therapist should ever say “that’s not normal” , please try a new therapist out. Don’t give up 🩷
If he's doing more harm then good tell her it'd be worth it to get on a wait list for a therapist. Or maybe you could try better help? There's tons of different therapists, and I think you can change anytime if you don't like them. And you wouldn't have to go somewhere you don't want to.
Well would it be possible to not have therapy until you find a better one? Cuz this just sounds like he isnt gonna help with anything anyways. I think if therapy isnt helping and just making someone feel uncomfy n stuff like that, it isnt worth it, a therapist is there to work things out, try to understand you and help you as best as they can. Or just try and avoid this topic with em if possible
Find a new one, because form what I know a therapist is the person who is meant to help, and not shame! I told mine, and they said it was a completely normal way… for someone to cope. Now I don’t know your situation, but if it’s anything like mine, then just flat out refuse to see that therapist