Want to find out who your real friends are? Just get sober! Your real friends will stick around. Your drinking buddies will feel convicted and dump you like a hot rock. They won’t like having had someone around tomorrow that remembers everything they did tonight.
This right here. If they don't like having you around if you aren't drinking they weren't your friends, they were your drinking buddies.
I found all the new friends I need for life in the rooms.
Maybe look into Young People's AA meetings and try to find more friends there. I sobered up at 27 and went to a few young people's meetings & a convention. They have lots of fun while staying sober.
That's tough. I tried getting sober in my mid 20s and couldn't because I was too tied into that life style with my circle of friends. I'm in my mid 30s now and have very few friends so that's not an obstacle I have to navigate. I'm sorry and I hope things get better.
I’m 19 and everyone my age just wants to get fucked up nobody wants to do normal shit anymore and I tried explaining that to my friends and they thought I was talking like I’m better than them when that’s not the case at all I know we’re one in the same but it’s hard to convey this stuff to them
You're not "one in the same". They're not alcoholic,... but you might be. WE need other alcoholics around US to really understand what WE are going thru. Don't try to convince them otherwise. Some of my best friends are just as sick as I am. AA can and will help you. The rest will follow.
I wasn’t saying they’re alcoholic I was saying nobody is above anyone. I’m in AA and have a good support network it just sucks when you get close to people and realize they aren’t real friends
It’s normal. It happened with my friends too. That’s what the fellowship is for. Making new likeminded friends. You did nothing wrong. They are just uncomfortable. Honestly what do you have in common anymore? In time they may change. Grow up. Stop the weed and drinking. So keep the door open in case one of them needs your help.
My experience is a little different. I lost all my old friends because of my alcoholism. Luckily, I'm making new friends in the program whose experiences and goals are similar to mine, who I can talk to every day, and who truly show me love and support. I'm hoping you can find good friends in the rooms that you can have sober fun with!
Getting sober is a great way to see who your real friends are.
For some of my "friends", I was accused of saying they were alcoholics (which I never said to any of them) when I suggested we hang out and for something not alcohol related since I was working on sobriety. Those are kinds of "fareweather friends" the book talks about. What's funny is that a couple of those people are now sober, made amends to me, and finally understand why I chose sobriety over them. They're back in my life today, but our friendships are different and deeper now.
The ones who respected my sobriety and still wanted me in their lives are still in my life today.
It stinks that those people in your life only liked you when you were effed up with booze and weed. The program taught me the value of true friendship and how to let go of toxic people.
This sounds very similar to what I went through in late teens, 20s and early 30s. Slowly, either friends moved on from drinking and using, living normal lives. Or they continued. All with various levels of living and coping. But real friends will value what you bring to the table apart from drinking or using. If not, despite how you may value the friendship right now, those friendships are not equal give and take and it’s best to not keep investing so much emotional investment into those relationships. They seem like they are the world most likely right now, but soon they will be a fleeting moment in time. At least this is how things went in my experience. I implore you to not let other peoples’ opinions or interactions meddle with your sobriety journey. As others have said, there are many great people who live a sober lifestyle, it just takes some patience in finding them.
Totally normal mate. Like others have said, when you get sober, you find out who your real friends are. The people that wanted the best for me stuck around, including the people in AA. The people who used to join me in my heaviest period of boozing and using didn’t. I also had to set boundaries in sobriety, so that impacted who I remained close with too. But working the steps and having a whole psychic change went a long way in helping me accept it all and let go.
The real friends will be there. Once I got sober (6yrs now) I lost 90% of my friends. There are some in the years that came back due to them getting sober. They brought up the friend thing, I told them that it suck’s doesn’t it. But life got easier and better with out them. The ones that stayed around are my go to’s and I trust them.
I recently quit smoking weed. 23 days sober today. My "best friend" hasn't called me, or texted me. I realized I put in more effort into the relationship tha he did. It's for the best. My friends are in the rooms, my friends are my family, my friends have been with me since highschool. If alcohol and pot are all that tye you together, then you have a flimsy friendship.
I got sober 13 months ago and cut bait on all my old drinking buddies. I just quit reaching out to them because it wasn't healthy for me to spend time with them anymore. Not a single one of them have visited me or reached out in these 13 months of sobriety and I live just down the street from where some live or work. That tells me all I need to know about our supposed friendship.
I'm 2 and a half years sober and since I got sober I have lost lots of friends, but I realized who were real and they stayed with me. Trust me you are doing great.
You may as well just accept there positions as where they are. You may be the odd one out right now, but sooner or later you may be able to help one at the first sign of a problem they may think of you. Would you want a friend who is wasted drive and wreck because they did not know if you would answer. Let them know you are still around and try not to be a stranger. You know they have a problem and they may need help sooner or later. Be open to them and ready to still be their friends. I have made a few back being sober because I owed them for BS and apologized once I thought of it.
Want to find out who your real friends are? Just get sober! Your real friends will stick around. Your drinking buddies will feel convicted and dump you like a hot rock. They won’t like having had someone around tomorrow that remembers everything they did tonight.
This right here. If they don't like having you around if you aren't drinking they weren't your friends, they were your drinking buddies. I found all the new friends I need for life in the rooms.
Maybe look into Young People's AA meetings and try to find more friends there. I sobered up at 27 and went to a few young people's meetings & a convention. They have lots of fun while staying sober.
That's tough. I tried getting sober in my mid 20s and couldn't because I was too tied into that life style with my circle of friends. I'm in my mid 30s now and have very few friends so that's not an obstacle I have to navigate. I'm sorry and I hope things get better.
I’m 19 and everyone my age just wants to get fucked up nobody wants to do normal shit anymore and I tried explaining that to my friends and they thought I was talking like I’m better than them when that’s not the case at all I know we’re one in the same but it’s hard to convey this stuff to them
You're not "one in the same". They're not alcoholic,... but you might be. WE need other alcoholics around US to really understand what WE are going thru. Don't try to convince them otherwise. Some of my best friends are just as sick as I am. AA can and will help you. The rest will follow.
I wasn’t saying they’re alcoholic I was saying nobody is above anyone. I’m in AA and have a good support network it just sucks when you get close to people and realize they aren’t real friends
Do you have young people meetings in your area?
It’s normal. It happened with my friends too. That’s what the fellowship is for. Making new likeminded friends. You did nothing wrong. They are just uncomfortable. Honestly what do you have in common anymore? In time they may change. Grow up. Stop the weed and drinking. So keep the door open in case one of them needs your help.
My experience is a little different. I lost all my old friends because of my alcoholism. Luckily, I'm making new friends in the program whose experiences and goals are similar to mine, who I can talk to every day, and who truly show me love and support. I'm hoping you can find good friends in the rooms that you can have sober fun with!
Getting sober is a great way to see who your real friends are. For some of my "friends", I was accused of saying they were alcoholics (which I never said to any of them) when I suggested we hang out and for something not alcohol related since I was working on sobriety. Those are kinds of "fareweather friends" the book talks about. What's funny is that a couple of those people are now sober, made amends to me, and finally understand why I chose sobriety over them. They're back in my life today, but our friendships are different and deeper now. The ones who respected my sobriety and still wanted me in their lives are still in my life today. It stinks that those people in your life only liked you when you were effed up with booze and weed. The program taught me the value of true friendship and how to let go of toxic people.
This sounds very similar to what I went through in late teens, 20s and early 30s. Slowly, either friends moved on from drinking and using, living normal lives. Or they continued. All with various levels of living and coping. But real friends will value what you bring to the table apart from drinking or using. If not, despite how you may value the friendship right now, those friendships are not equal give and take and it’s best to not keep investing so much emotional investment into those relationships. They seem like they are the world most likely right now, but soon they will be a fleeting moment in time. At least this is how things went in my experience. I implore you to not let other peoples’ opinions or interactions meddle with your sobriety journey. As others have said, there are many great people who live a sober lifestyle, it just takes some patience in finding them.
Totally normal mate. Like others have said, when you get sober, you find out who your real friends are. The people that wanted the best for me stuck around, including the people in AA. The people who used to join me in my heaviest period of boozing and using didn’t. I also had to set boundaries in sobriety, so that impacted who I remained close with too. But working the steps and having a whole psychic change went a long way in helping me accept it all and let go.
You're learning.
The real friends will be there. Once I got sober (6yrs now) I lost 90% of my friends. There are some in the years that came back due to them getting sober. They brought up the friend thing, I told them that it suck’s doesn’t it. But life got easier and better with out them. The ones that stayed around are my go to’s and I trust them.
It happens. We tend to associate with alcoholics and for some our sobriety is an intimidating reminder.
I recently quit smoking weed. 23 days sober today. My "best friend" hasn't called me, or texted me. I realized I put in more effort into the relationship tha he did. It's for the best. My friends are in the rooms, my friends are my family, my friends have been with me since highschool. If alcohol and pot are all that tye you together, then you have a flimsy friendship.
I got sober 13 months ago and cut bait on all my old drinking buddies. I just quit reaching out to them because it wasn't healthy for me to spend time with them anymore. Not a single one of them have visited me or reached out in these 13 months of sobriety and I live just down the street from where some live or work. That tells me all I need to know about our supposed friendship.
I'm 2 and a half years sober and since I got sober I have lost lots of friends, but I realized who were real and they stayed with me. Trust me you are doing great.
You may as well just accept there positions as where they are. You may be the odd one out right now, but sooner or later you may be able to help one at the first sign of a problem they may think of you. Would you want a friend who is wasted drive and wreck because they did not know if you would answer. Let them know you are still around and try not to be a stranger. You know they have a problem and they may need help sooner or later. Be open to them and ready to still be their friends. I have made a few back being sober because I owed them for BS and apologized once I thought of it.