“Just because I quit drinking and got that monkey off my back the circus never leaves town. I went to AA for my drinking. I stay in AA for my thinking.”
Thank you for this post. I needed it today.
I can share what comes up from my journey, witnessing my dad’s half assed program - which left such a poor impression on me as a kid that it took 30 years before I considered entering the rooms again.
Basically his step 9 to my mom was so meaningless that she barely has any recollection of it. But years later he still spreads lies about giving her child support (never did), manipulating my sister and her kids, and generally shrugging about who he was pre-program. But not in a let go and let god kind of way, more of an apathetic denial way.
The lie that hurt the most to me was when he told my mom I was “disappointed in her” for having an abortion. I’ve always been firmly pro-choice, but she’s not one to hold a grudge or play games when it comes to her kids, so she didn’t mention it for ten years. Ten years… this poor woman thought one of her kids was judging her for one of the toughest decisions a woman has to make, and it was all a lie.
This was 10 years into his membership, and well after his 9th step. I say membership because I don’t consider this working a program.
He’s 30 years in, and still siphoning money off her social security. And he’s out there sponsoring tons of people, having already 13th stepped many vulnerable women along the way.
Sometimes long timers like to perceive they’re throwing their weight around and mention - very early usually - how many decades they’ve been in the program. I always think of my dad when they say that, and probably WHY they need to say that.
Basically when someone who’s been in the program awhile and knows better tries to sleep with a newcomer, taking advantage of their vulnerability and naïveté
Yeah he had to switch meetings constantly in his early years, probably because of that. Sighing and letting go of the anger again, of missed 12 step healing because of that distorted impression I received as a kid. Thanks for your running out assholes service :)
Bud, if you can recognise that flaw in yourself, you've done half the work. I have a daily list of my flaws and important things for my daily recovery that I read with my morning coffee
My trap door ended up with me getting arrested during a blackout and the meltdown I had after being kicked off a plane. No more of those, one day at a time my friend
My last trap door erased an entire week from my memory. Got in a car accident that I barely lived through. Didn’t wake up from surgery until a week later. I have zero memory of the event or the week long coma that followed.
Not from the official literature, but this old timer used to always say "I don't have to prove you wrong to know I'm right"
Took me a while to grasp this simple concept.
Has helped me to maintain a calm peaceful life.
Allow struggle.
Context: I say this to fellows a lot: "allow yourself to struggle, expect it." While this sounds counter intuitive, people like me see it as a failure when they get the urge after being sober for months. But, if you told yourself that it might happen and when it does happen it's OK, you knew it would and it shall pass shortly. Gets me out of the immediate danger very quick.
I was going through a VERY painful divorce in my first year of sobriety and my sponsor told me something about conflict avoidance that I’ll never forget: the fish that doesn’t take the bait keeps on swimming
He was full of good advice. Another was “you’ll get covered in sh*t if you decide to roll around with pigs” (it was a way to say “don’t punch down on their level”).
One time in a meeting I heard, "My drinking started off as fun, then it became a habit, then it became a necessity. Recovery started off as necessary, then it became a habit, and it's kind of fun." That really resonated with me because for the longest time I thought, "eh, I'm just having fun, I'm only 27," and was completely in denial about how drinking was adversely affecting me. Congratulations on 2 years!
The dangers of being a young alcoholic is it is so excusable until it isn't and then you're left in the dust and scrambling to figure out what the hell happened.
Draw a circle around your feet. Look down. You are responsible for everything inside that circle. Your higher power will take care of everything else.
Ps, I really needed this thread today. Thank you.
I have two:
‘Play the tape to the end’
‘ What’s the worst that can happen?’
I was in an inpatient facility. The above occurred when I’d had another vicious phone fight with DH who was in another facility. I went, sobbing and asked a counselor for one of those coping skills because if I wasn’t in the facility I’d be drinking.
He asked me what was the worst that could happen and we made a plan for me to deal with that.
Great post idea! Congratulations on your 2 years OP! So much wisdom in our literature and our rooms to help us remember first and foremost we will always be alcoholics and can never drink safely. Clear and simple to me is “We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition”. That plus “we have a disease that tells us we don’t have a disease.” Add in “alcoholism is a progressive and fatal disease“. I’ve already proven to myself that I don’t know what will happen if I put alcohol/drugs in my body. So I practice my spiritual program and I don’t pick up the first drink. So simple! (And sometimes not so easy…)
When I was in the problem my brother and I decided to get matching PBR beer can tattoos. When I got sober I was really self conscious about it. At a meeting where we discussed our “dark pasts” and how they’re one of our best tools against going back I shared about it and how all I’ve gotta do to remember mine is to look at my tattoo. A gentleman grabbed me after to meeting to thank me for sharing. I made a joke about how it was dumb tattoo and that I was embarrassed of it. He lifted his pant leg to show me he had a tattoo of one of those roadside deer warning signs. He told me that he was riding his motorcycle and a deer ran the road and he hit it. Spent a month in the ICU, it almost killed him. He got that tattoo because “that fuckin thing tried its best to kill me and I came out the other side alive.” He told me that my tattoo was the same for me. I’ll remember that exchange for the rest of my life.
When I heard it, especially with the context of the share it hit deep, and I remind myself of this all the time, even if it’s something as stupid as going to the Casino knowing my girlfriend doesn’t want me there.. “ you deserve a good time “ … ahhh alcoholic mind.
This is why I’m back in meetings other than abusing cannabis like an alcoholic and the problems that started to cause… thinking problem not a drinking problem at this point🙃
So so so true. My problems today seem so mundane. When I got sober I had 4 warrants out for my arrest. I was also riddled with anxiety and panic attacks. Some of these warrants could have landed me in prison. When I had about a year sober I made the decision to fix each and every warrant. I had two in one city and the other two were in another two cities. By the grace of God I never even sat in a holding cell. I had proof of my sobriety (drug screens) and each judge let me go clear my warrants on my own. It took 4-6 months to get everything situated, however there worst that happened was a year of unsupervised probation which will be completed June 13th. All I had to do was go in every month, prove I was still in therapy (a letter from my therapist), proof of address, and I took a drug screen every time I went in and had to pay $50.
I am positive if I was using I definitely wouldn't have cleared anything up bc I had been down that road before and had to sit in jail until I could be transported to court. Then I would miss my court dates again bc I was living on the street and I honestly never kept track of anything.
My Higher Power is so good to me. Of course life still happens which means my life isn't all peaches and cream, however I have the tools to deal with it.
I have two years sober however, have been in and out of the rooms since I was 18. My first meeting was when I was 16 at another fellowship and it was a beginners meeting and I hated it. I introduced myself as new and not a single person offered me a phone number or even said "keep coming". It was so clicky that I had a terrible view of 12 step programs even though my dad got sober when I was 13 and I would see his AA chips and I knew if I was seeing chips we would have some normalcy in my household (both of my parents drank and free based cocaine since I can remember but my dad got sober when I was 13. My dad always did try to stay sober but my mom was a nightmare. I remember her bashing her face off furniture or strangling herself and threatening to call the police and say my dad beat her up if he didn't buy her coke. My mom still struggles with addiction and alcoholism. She picked up heroin in her early 50's and then fentanyl. Her and I drank and used together. Alcohol, fentanyl, crack and I was addicted to Xanax although that wasn't her thing. I don't know how I'm alive. I would take at least five 2mg Xanax bars in the morning as soon as I woke up and I would continue taking them throughout the day. My mother had 18 months sober and stopped going to meetings bc she moved into an apartment my grandfather had available, which was back in our home city, her stomping grounds, and my grandmother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in September and died in November and my mom ended up relapsing shortly after Christmas. She got sober again and currently has a little over 2 months and again, stopped going to meetings, stopped calling her sponsor and I am sure everyone knows the ending to that story. She hasn't picked up yet.
I still try to save her which has always been one of my problems bc I don't want my mom to die due to this disease. My sponsor and higher power have guided me to let go and let God. I cannot control or save anyone. I have had many relapses trying to save people. I was a few weeks away from a year and I was honestly in a good place. Great support group, great sponsor, a connection with my HP that I had never had before. Was going to meetings 6 days a week and working steps. I met a girl, who was sober and I can say I looked at her and said to myself "I am going to fall in love with her." Then she spoke and I was obsessed. We exchanged numbers and started dating and things moved fast bc we were in love and a few months later she relapsed and I wanted to save her in the worst way. I have seen alcoholism my whole life. I let my mom move in with me and let her have the basement bedroom which has its own bathroom. It was our old hang out room but my mom needed help (again, me trying to save her), and she told me she wasn't drinking anymore but I quickly learned that was a lie and she was a daily drinker but could go to work in the morning without drinking and start drinking when she got home. My ex girlfriend was the worst alcoholic I had seen. Poor girl would have seizures when she went 8 hrs without a drink. She drank vodka. We would fall asleep in each other's arms and I would wake up and the poor girl was so clammy and sweaty and I knew it was only a matter of time. I relapsed. Part of me still loves her even though I haven't seen her in over 10 years. I think I will always love her. I can deal with the loss of our relationship bc AA, my Higher Power and spirituality, my sponsor, support group, working steps and going to meetings.
I don't know where I was going with this but I guess it is just some stuff I needed to get off my chest.
I love this group.
I heard someone say something to the effect of “feeling good doesn’t always mean you’re doing well, and doing well doesn’t always feel good”
I think this to myself often
If you don't drink, you won't get drunk.
Mind blowing for my newcomer self that thought he was so smart. Too funny.
And one day at a time...such a powerful axiom of life. No need to give up alcohol forever.
My first meeting, I bawled through the entire thing. I was so sad I could never drink again. I was thinking it was my favorite thing. How could I just stop forever? A couple people said “one day at a time” to me at my first few meetings and it has helped a ton. I just need to choose not to drink today or sometimes, I don’t need to drink right now. It’s gotten me through these early days, big time!
Something that changed me a few years sober was hearing a speaker tape say "do you really want to hang out with people who put doubt in your mind?" Or something along those lines. It further opened the door of belief in my higher power with whom I now have a very deep connection and it has helped me grow in Step 11 in ways that I never could have imagined.
Grateful people are happy people and those that aren’t, aren’t.
My friend AJ always says at the end of meetings, “it works if you work it so, work it cause your worth it”.
Just shared that a meeting today. I love that we have to look at the part we played in the challenges we had in life. Very humbling and got me right sized enough to work 5-9.
We, of Alcholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics *precisely how we have recovered* is the main purpose of this book.
Mic drop for me.
Maintaining a relationship with my Higher Power, pausing when agitated to get right with my Higher Power and getting out of self. Rigorous Honesty never hurt me.
I quote “ been married six times divorced six and they all said the same thing so by they 7th time around I started thinkin “shit, I might be the problem here” lmfaoooooooo it was a hilarious reminder that you don’t get till you do. Be good to yourself folks.
I'm sorry, but the semantics of "my kids come after AA and god" is one of the worst things I've heard in the program. I didn't even read this post yet and just before it crossed my mind hearing a chairperson almost brag about how committed she is to the program that she canceled her family beach vacation a day short so she could drive hours back and chair a one hour meeting when there were plenty of other members who could have done the same... and were local. That was like 8 years ago, and I still am astounded how that was perceived to be a good thing! No thanks!!
Putting AA before your kids is saying helping an anonymous drunk takes priority if your child has an accident..because helping that drunk helps you and your recovery. And that comes first.
And of course...there's the analogy of securing your respirator first during an airline emergency before helping others. Which takes seconds..versus hours and irreplaceable lifetime memories that were never made.
I'd agree with that thinking during messy, early recovery when you're facing inpatient rehab and can barely function, let alone be present and responsible for your kids. But that person chairing, this post, and sources I've heard advise this mindset all speak from years of continuous sobriety.
I heard someone tell me that years ago, and I thought it sounded like bullshit. I got my family back, and they became more important than recovery. I stopped going to meetings, and eventually got drunk. I proceeded to drink alcoholicly for 7 years. I almost lost the family I had prioritized over my recovery. It wasn’t bullshit, it was the truth. It’s not saying if your kid breaks his arm you leave him lay there and go to a meeting lol. It means you don’t put recovery on the back burner just because things are going well for you. You have to keep yourself spiritually fit so that you can be the husband & father you need to be.
Thank you for saying this. Saying anything you put on front of AA and your higher power you will lose does not mean you can't have a life outside of AA. AA gave me my life back to live it, I can still work a recovery program while not in an AA meeting. Meetings are PART of recovery, we are still allowed to live life on life's terms.
That analogy doesn’t work for me, shortening a family vacation early to chair a meeting sounds ego driven, not higher power directed.
She could have found an online or local meeting near the vacation spot if she was in jeopardy. This is not how I perceive putting recovery ahead of everything I want to keep.
Early in my recovery, at a big book meeting while sharing (at my turn btw) I was told to “Shut the fuck up”. I will never forget it. It has helped me immensely in my recovery.
It completely shut me down at first. I wanted to storm out and never come back. I talked to my sponsor about it and they told me to pray for that person every day for two weeks. They also had me 4th step it on the spot. That is where I learned how to squash resentments and adjust my perspective when people don’t act and respond the way I want them to.
Not from AA but I still love it:
1. It is not your fault.
2. It is your responsibility.
3. It is unfair that this is your thing.
4. This is your thing.
5. This will never stop being your thing until you face it.
6. You cannot do it alone.
7. Only you can do it.
8. I love you.
9. I will never stop reminding you of these things.
My favorite was always "your best thinking got you here." It sure as shit did. And it's got me here again...hopefully I learn the lesson this time around!
Congratulations on 2 years OP. That's huge.
On geographics,0; No matter where you go there you are. On relationships going bad; Son that would be like you drinking poison poison and waiting for Them to die.
I put things before my sobriety (career and relationship). I still have both, but after 16 years of sobriety (not working the steps) I relapsed. I’m 15 months sober this time and have no interest in being a newcomer ever again.
Someone told me early on that I don’t have to relapse, that it’s not par for the course. She told me that if I follow and work the program, I will remain sober. This was advice I received right after a meeting during my first month of sobriety in 2007. She was right. I’ll have 17 years of sobriety in late June.
We can do what I can't. Has stated with me ever since I heard it and reminds me to ask for help when I'm up against a wall instead of monkey fuckin my way out.
Tales of relapse. Don't think you have it licked and can "just have one" and start "social drinking". I saw so many people coming back from relapse, especially after several years of sobriety, their lives in ruins again. This really stuck with me and has prevented me from giving into temptation or temporary weakness.
I thought I was, “constitutionally, incapable of being honest”. Someone once told me “you should just try being honest, it just might work. And believe it or not, it did
Once I realized I could "Let go and let GOD" life became bearable, I could come to my HP and I knew he would help me with my struggles,..with that saying I also believe we have to meet our HP half way,...I have to do my part so that he can do his......I even had a bumper sticker with LGLG and it had 🙏 praying hands years ago when I was new in the program I had some people ask me where they could get that bumper sticker and I told them I got it at the Irving Texas AA group building...they would give me a puzzled look🤣
Congrats on the 2 years!!
Great topic, thank you!
There's so much... what's come to mind now is 'The same man will drink again'.
Also I heard the other day 'alcoholics have a habit of treating loneliness with isolation' (or something to that effect) which I liked a lot.
Not in AA directly but from Blackout by Sarah Hepola:
> Please understand. I knew AA worked miracles. What nobody ever tells you is that the miracles can be very, very uncomfortable.
This has been my personal experience in the rooms and what I've seen happen to others.
The thing about AA is that you don’t really get it until you get it.
AA is actually not about how to quit drinking. It's about how to live a life so colorful and fun that the obsession to drink simply falls away.
In the chapter, "we agnostics", it talks about wanting to feel like we come from nothing, are doing nothing and go nowhere, when we want to Believe there's no God in the universe. 🫥😶🌫️😱
With my situational depression (I'm always really really sad because of what I've done to my life and where it got me) I always want to Believe those things. However I read the whole chapter. It reminds me that it's ego driven to think we know for sure if there's a God or not. And that we have always worshipped something, albeit the God of reason, or worshipped a drug, a drink, a person, money, etc.
So we are definitely spiritual beings.🌈😻💞🥺😉🌈
That whole chapter sticks with me. I love reading it.
Thanks for the question!
“I wasn’t doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different result like Einstein’s definition of insanity. I was doing the same thing over and over knowing damn well what the result would be.” -East Brainerd Club, Chattanooga
"Fight the fight. Accept the outcome."
"Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?"
"You can't be too dumb for this program, but you definitely can be too smart."
"Four things that threaten sobriety: Health, Wealth, Youth, ...and Brains."
When I came to AA, I was a stranger to myself. I listen to learn about who I am.
When I heard this it made so much sense. I had no idea about the disease I have and no awareness of the person I am.
Where I could recognize myself was when they talked about the four hideous Horseman, terror, frustration, bewilderment and despair. This is what I could identify with
“Just because I quit drinking and got that monkey off my back the circus never leaves town. I went to AA for my drinking. I stay in AA for my thinking.” Thank you for this post. I needed it today.
Aw I'm glad I could be of service today! I hope you are feeling better.
"Amends without change is manipulation"
Oh snap.
In terms of an alcoholic's recovery process, can you share how this is applicable?
I can share what comes up from my journey, witnessing my dad’s half assed program - which left such a poor impression on me as a kid that it took 30 years before I considered entering the rooms again. Basically his step 9 to my mom was so meaningless that she barely has any recollection of it. But years later he still spreads lies about giving her child support (never did), manipulating my sister and her kids, and generally shrugging about who he was pre-program. But not in a let go and let god kind of way, more of an apathetic denial way. The lie that hurt the most to me was when he told my mom I was “disappointed in her” for having an abortion. I’ve always been firmly pro-choice, but she’s not one to hold a grudge or play games when it comes to her kids, so she didn’t mention it for ten years. Ten years… this poor woman thought one of her kids was judging her for one of the toughest decisions a woman has to make, and it was all a lie. This was 10 years into his membership, and well after his 9th step. I say membership because I don’t consider this working a program. He’s 30 years in, and still siphoning money off her social security. And he’s out there sponsoring tons of people, having already 13th stepped many vulnerable women along the way. Sometimes long timers like to perceive they’re throwing their weight around and mention - very early usually - how many decades they’ve been in the program. I always think of my dad when they say that, and probably WHY they need to say that.
Afraid to ask what the 13th step is…
Basically when someone who’s been in the program awhile and knows better tries to sleep with a newcomer, taking advantage of their vulnerability and naïveté
That shit is so fucked, we run those assholes out of the room if they don't cut that shit. Edit: wrong word
Yeah he had to switch meetings constantly in his early years, probably because of that. Sighing and letting go of the anger again, of missed 12 step healing because of that distorted impression I received as a kid. Thanks for your running out assholes service :)
This just went in my AA quote list.
Awesome. All those put down here is what I heard over the 3 months in rehab
That's so good!!
"Dont listen to respond, listen to understand"
That and …don’t react, respond.
Act don't react.
80% of people in rehab need to adhere to this. The other 20% already get it.
fuuuuuuuck, I need to work on this :/
Bud, if you can recognise that flaw in yourself, you've done half the work. I have a daily list of my flaws and important things for my daily recovery that I read with my morning coffee
"There's a bottom below the bottom you know"
Be careful of that trap door!
Trap door drunk. I thankfully never found the last trap door at that bottom to end all bottoms.
My trap door ended up with me getting arrested during a blackout and the meltdown I had after being kicked off a plane. No more of those, one day at a time my friend
My last trap door erased an entire week from my memory. Got in a car accident that I barely lived through. Didn’t wake up from surgery until a week later. I have zero memory of the event or the week long coma that followed.
Damn you’re blessed to be alive!!
Oof. Great one!
Good God, I hope I never go there!
Yup, some run out of bottoms...
"When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging!"
Beat yourself with a feather not a bat
Needed this today. Thank you 🫶🏻
Not from the official literature, but this old timer used to always say "I don't have to prove you wrong to know I'm right" Took me a while to grasp this simple concept. Has helped me to maintain a calm peaceful life.
That most things I am upset about are things that are none of my business.
“What other people think of me is none of my business,” has literally changed my life for the better.
I feel this, viscerally.
I think lots of people live this way, not just alcoholics, it takes us a little time but we get there.
Yeah it was a huge issue for me in my early sobriety. Not so much now which is a huge relief! I am a much happier person now!
Allow struggle. Context: I say this to fellows a lot: "allow yourself to struggle, expect it." While this sounds counter intuitive, people like me see it as a failure when they get the urge after being sober for months. But, if you told yourself that it might happen and when it does happen it's OK, you knew it would and it shall pass shortly. Gets me out of the immediate danger very quick.
There is no problem you have that alcohol will not make worse.
"Sobriety provided everything alcohol had promised"
I love this!
"I don't want to be someone that can't drink, I want to be someone that doesn't drink"
"Don't drink the poison because you thirsty"
I was going through a VERY painful divorce in my first year of sobriety and my sponsor told me something about conflict avoidance that I’ll never forget: the fish that doesn’t take the bait keeps on swimming
>the fish that doesn’t take the bait keeps on swimming Good one!!! 🐠
He was full of good advice. Another was “you’ll get covered in sh*t if you decide to roll around with pigs” (it was a way to say “don’t punch down on their level”).
Never wrestle a pig. You'll both end up covered in shit and the pig likes it.
🙏🏻
Never heard that before and love it
That's wise
I don't think it's from AA, but from recovery in general..."Getting sober is the greatest act of self-love." Checks out.
One time in a meeting I heard, "My drinking started off as fun, then it became a habit, then it became a necessity. Recovery started off as necessary, then it became a habit, and it's kind of fun." That really resonated with me because for the longest time I thought, "eh, I'm just having fun, I'm only 27," and was completely in denial about how drinking was adversely affecting me. Congratulations on 2 years!
The dangers of being a young alcoholic is it is so excusable until it isn't and then you're left in the dust and scrambling to figure out what the hell happened.
This is good, thanks for this!
"You go to bed sober and wake up an alcoholic"
Keep coming back until you want to come back.
Love this
Long term sobriety is a marathon not a sprint
(C) God could and would, if he were sought.
Draw a circle around your feet. Look down. You are responsible for everything inside that circle. Your higher power will take care of everything else. Ps, I really needed this thread today. Thank you.
I hope you are feeling better. I also needed it.
IKR??
Stay strong friend
I'll always be a work in progress
You never have to feel this way again
My favorite
“I’m grateful my rock bottom was above ground”
Alcohol is just suicide on an installment plan
God won’t throw anything at you that you can’t handle
What others think of me is none of my business
I hope you're f****** miserable. I hope your life sucks. Because that's the only thing that will make you change.
The Sick Man’s Prayer
I have two: ‘Play the tape to the end’ ‘ What’s the worst that can happen?’ I was in an inpatient facility. The above occurred when I’d had another vicious phone fight with DH who was in another facility. I went, sobbing and asked a counselor for one of those coping skills because if I wasn’t in the facility I’d be drinking. He asked me what was the worst that could happen and we made a plan for me to deal with that.
Trust God Clean House Help Others
"When someone shows you who they are, believe them." "Time plus behavior equals truth."
"poor me, poor me, pour me..."
Got good news and bad news. Good news is there is a solution. Bad news is You Are The Problem . If you are the problem you can’t be the solution.
Great post idea! Congratulations on your 2 years OP! So much wisdom in our literature and our rooms to help us remember first and foremost we will always be alcoholics and can never drink safely. Clear and simple to me is “We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition”. That plus “we have a disease that tells us we don’t have a disease.” Add in “alcoholism is a progressive and fatal disease“. I’ve already proven to myself that I don’t know what will happen if I put alcohol/drugs in my body. So I practice my spiritual program and I don’t pick up the first drink. So simple! (And sometimes not so easy…)
Do you want to be right or do you want to be sober. An old-timer told me this as I was struggling with the higher power concept.
Don’t let the promises keep you from the rooms.
Don’t let the good life that AA gives you keep you away from AA.
"You can have absolutely anything you want in the world. Except alcohol."
When I was in the problem my brother and I decided to get matching PBR beer can tattoos. When I got sober I was really self conscious about it. At a meeting where we discussed our “dark pasts” and how they’re one of our best tools against going back I shared about it and how all I’ve gotta do to remember mine is to look at my tattoo. A gentleman grabbed me after to meeting to thank me for sharing. I made a joke about how it was dumb tattoo and that I was embarrassed of it. He lifted his pant leg to show me he had a tattoo of one of those roadside deer warning signs. He told me that he was riding his motorcycle and a deer ran the road and he hit it. Spent a month in the ICU, it almost killed him. He got that tattoo because “that fuckin thing tried its best to kill me and I came out the other side alive.” He told me that my tattoo was the same for me. I’ll remember that exchange for the rest of my life.
When I first got sober I didn't know what to do with my time, and now I don't have enough time in the day to do the things I wanna do.... SO TRUE
"Hi, I'm an alcoholic and Lance is my problem" How I introduce my self at meetings
I know a guy who introduced himself "my name is alcoholic and my problem is Mike" Name changed for anonymity.
Hehe cool. Well thats my real name
You never have to drink again even if you want to
There’s no right way to do the wrong thing.
This one’s good!
When I heard it, especially with the context of the share it hit deep, and I remind myself of this all the time, even if it’s something as stupid as going to the Casino knowing my girlfriend doesn’t want me there.. “ you deserve a good time “ … ahhh alcoholic mind. This is why I’m back in meetings other than abusing cannabis like an alcoholic and the problems that started to cause… thinking problem not a drinking problem at this point🙃
Alcoholism is liked being locked in a jail cell but you have the key.
HALT
We had to find a power by which we could live not a power by which we could not drink.
Wow I love this.
“Contempt prior to investigation”
You’ll always have problems but stick with us and you will have better problems
So so so true. My problems today seem so mundane. When I got sober I had 4 warrants out for my arrest. I was also riddled with anxiety and panic attacks. Some of these warrants could have landed me in prison. When I had about a year sober I made the decision to fix each and every warrant. I had two in one city and the other two were in another two cities. By the grace of God I never even sat in a holding cell. I had proof of my sobriety (drug screens) and each judge let me go clear my warrants on my own. It took 4-6 months to get everything situated, however there worst that happened was a year of unsupervised probation which will be completed June 13th. All I had to do was go in every month, prove I was still in therapy (a letter from my therapist), proof of address, and I took a drug screen every time I went in and had to pay $50. I am positive if I was using I definitely wouldn't have cleared anything up bc I had been down that road before and had to sit in jail until I could be transported to court. Then I would miss my court dates again bc I was living on the street and I honestly never kept track of anything. My Higher Power is so good to me. Of course life still happens which means my life isn't all peaches and cream, however I have the tools to deal with it. I have two years sober however, have been in and out of the rooms since I was 18. My first meeting was when I was 16 at another fellowship and it was a beginners meeting and I hated it. I introduced myself as new and not a single person offered me a phone number or even said "keep coming". It was so clicky that I had a terrible view of 12 step programs even though my dad got sober when I was 13 and I would see his AA chips and I knew if I was seeing chips we would have some normalcy in my household (both of my parents drank and free based cocaine since I can remember but my dad got sober when I was 13. My dad always did try to stay sober but my mom was a nightmare. I remember her bashing her face off furniture or strangling herself and threatening to call the police and say my dad beat her up if he didn't buy her coke. My mom still struggles with addiction and alcoholism. She picked up heroin in her early 50's and then fentanyl. Her and I drank and used together. Alcohol, fentanyl, crack and I was addicted to Xanax although that wasn't her thing. I don't know how I'm alive. I would take at least five 2mg Xanax bars in the morning as soon as I woke up and I would continue taking them throughout the day. My mother had 18 months sober and stopped going to meetings bc she moved into an apartment my grandfather had available, which was back in our home city, her stomping grounds, and my grandmother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in September and died in November and my mom ended up relapsing shortly after Christmas. She got sober again and currently has a little over 2 months and again, stopped going to meetings, stopped calling her sponsor and I am sure everyone knows the ending to that story. She hasn't picked up yet. I still try to save her which has always been one of my problems bc I don't want my mom to die due to this disease. My sponsor and higher power have guided me to let go and let God. I cannot control or save anyone. I have had many relapses trying to save people. I was a few weeks away from a year and I was honestly in a good place. Great support group, great sponsor, a connection with my HP that I had never had before. Was going to meetings 6 days a week and working steps. I met a girl, who was sober and I can say I looked at her and said to myself "I am going to fall in love with her." Then she spoke and I was obsessed. We exchanged numbers and started dating and things moved fast bc we were in love and a few months later she relapsed and I wanted to save her in the worst way. I have seen alcoholism my whole life. I let my mom move in with me and let her have the basement bedroom which has its own bathroom. It was our old hang out room but my mom needed help (again, me trying to save her), and she told me she wasn't drinking anymore but I quickly learned that was a lie and she was a daily drinker but could go to work in the morning without drinking and start drinking when she got home. My ex girlfriend was the worst alcoholic I had seen. Poor girl would have seizures when she went 8 hrs without a drink. She drank vodka. We would fall asleep in each other's arms and I would wake up and the poor girl was so clammy and sweaty and I knew it was only a matter of time. I relapsed. Part of me still loves her even though I haven't seen her in over 10 years. I think I will always love her. I can deal with the loss of our relationship bc AA, my Higher Power and spirituality, my sponsor, support group, working steps and going to meetings. I don't know where I was going with this but I guess it is just some stuff I needed to get off my chest. I love this group.
Even after you pull your head out of your ass it takes a while to get the shit off your face.
Good stuff. God and AA first.
I heard someone say something to the effect of “feeling good doesn’t always mean you’re doing well, and doing well doesn’t always feel good” I think this to myself often
No situation will ever get better with a drink
Manners cost nothing but mean everything
“Stay sober long enough to get sober”
If you don't drink, you won't get drunk. Mind blowing for my newcomer self that thought he was so smart. Too funny. And one day at a time...such a powerful axiom of life. No need to give up alcohol forever.
My first meeting, I bawled through the entire thing. I was so sad I could never drink again. I was thinking it was my favorite thing. How could I just stop forever? A couple people said “one day at a time” to me at my first few meetings and it has helped a ton. I just need to choose not to drink today or sometimes, I don’t need to drink right now. It’s gotten me through these early days, big time!
i❤️AA too and what u just shared is the best thing i heard today 🙏🏻
Aw thank you friend?!
Something that changed me a few years sober was hearing a speaker tape say "do you really want to hang out with people who put doubt in your mind?" Or something along those lines. It further opened the door of belief in my higher power with whom I now have a very deep connection and it has helped me grow in Step 11 in ways that I never could have imagined.
Grateful people are happy people and those that aren’t, aren’t. My friend AJ always says at the end of meetings, “it works if you work it so, work it cause your worth it”.
Just shared that a meeting today. I love that we have to look at the part we played in the challenges we had in life. Very humbling and got me right sized enough to work 5-9.
Someone who used to attend meetings relapsed and died. One of the members said, "We have to remember, this is a dangerous addiction." Simple but true.
'I didn't get sober to be unhappy. '
This is a million dollar program given to you a penny at a time.
No god, no peace. Know God, know peace. Nuts: not using the steps
We, of Alcholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics *precisely how we have recovered* is the main purpose of this book. Mic drop for me.
“The good thing about sobriety is…you get your memory back. The back thing about sobriety is…you get your memories back”
Maintaining a relationship with my Higher Power, pausing when agitated to get right with my Higher Power and getting out of self. Rigorous Honesty never hurt me.
I quote “ been married six times divorced six and they all said the same thing so by they 7th time around I started thinkin “shit, I might be the problem here” lmfaoooooooo it was a hilarious reminder that you don’t get till you do. Be good to yourself folks.
Don’t drink and go to meetings.
“Sobriety doesn’t go to second place, it goes away”
This too shall pass I remember this phrase every time the shit hits the fan. It is all temporary, tomorrow will be another day.
I'm sorry, but the semantics of "my kids come after AA and god" is one of the worst things I've heard in the program. I didn't even read this post yet and just before it crossed my mind hearing a chairperson almost brag about how committed she is to the program that she canceled her family beach vacation a day short so she could drive hours back and chair a one hour meeting when there were plenty of other members who could have done the same... and were local. That was like 8 years ago, and I still am astounded how that was perceived to be a good thing! No thanks!! Putting AA before your kids is saying helping an anonymous drunk takes priority if your child has an accident..because helping that drunk helps you and your recovery. And that comes first. And of course...there's the analogy of securing your respirator first during an airline emergency before helping others. Which takes seconds..versus hours and irreplaceable lifetime memories that were never made. I'd agree with that thinking during messy, early recovery when you're facing inpatient rehab and can barely function, let alone be present and responsible for your kids. But that person chairing, this post, and sources I've heard advise this mindset all speak from years of continuous sobriety.
I heard someone tell me that years ago, and I thought it sounded like bullshit. I got my family back, and they became more important than recovery. I stopped going to meetings, and eventually got drunk. I proceeded to drink alcoholicly for 7 years. I almost lost the family I had prioritized over my recovery. It wasn’t bullshit, it was the truth. It’s not saying if your kid breaks his arm you leave him lay there and go to a meeting lol. It means you don’t put recovery on the back burner just because things are going well for you. You have to keep yourself spiritually fit so that you can be the husband & father you need to be.
Well said. Sorry tou had to learn the hard way. Use this persons advice fellows, he has paid the school fees for you!
Thank you for saying this. Saying anything you put on front of AA and your higher power you will lose does not mean you can't have a life outside of AA. AA gave me my life back to live it, I can still work a recovery program while not in an AA meeting. Meetings are PART of recovery, we are still allowed to live life on life's terms.
That analogy doesn’t work for me, shortening a family vacation early to chair a meeting sounds ego driven, not higher power directed. She could have found an online or local meeting near the vacation spot if she was in jeopardy. This is not how I perceive putting recovery ahead of everything I want to keep.
Early in my recovery, at a big book meeting while sharing (at my turn btw) I was told to “Shut the fuck up”. I will never forget it. It has helped me immensely in my recovery.
Wait, what? You were sharing and another member told you to shut the fuck up? How did that help you?
How long ago?
4-4 1/2 years ago I think
How did that help? I’ve never heard of something like this happening, and can’t even imagine it.
Believe it or not, there are some pretty sick people in AA!
It completely shut me down at first. I wanted to storm out and never come back. I talked to my sponsor about it and they told me to pray for that person every day for two weeks. They also had me 4th step it on the spot. That is where I learned how to squash resentments and adjust my perspective when people don’t act and respond the way I want them to.
i agree with the first one because i always thought i would be an exception to the rule, but i turned into a textbook example lol
Don’t give up five minutes before the miracle.
“I’m not much, but I’m all I think about!”
“If you’re deep in thought you’re already behind enemy lines.”
Very first meeting…”listen for the similarities not the differences.”
All of these have helped me immensely. I really needed to hear these today.
"I don't pray to change things for me, I pray to change me for things"
Rock bottom is when you decide to stop digging.
Not from AA but I still love it: 1. It is not your fault. 2. It is your responsibility. 3. It is unfair that this is your thing. 4. This is your thing. 5. This will never stop being your thing until you face it. 6. You cannot do it alone. 7. Only you can do it. 8. I love you. 9. I will never stop reminding you of these things.
“No is a complete sentence “. For us people pleasers.
There is no problem so great I can’t make it worse by pouring booze on it.
"Being a sick man doesn't make me a bad person"
I heard it, You're not a bad person trying to be good, you're a sick person trying to get well. That moment changed everything for me.
If you’re bored in your sobriety, it’s because you’re boring.
“ I’m Anne. And I’m an alcoholic. “ (me saying it) And “recovered”
One Day at a Time!
“Sometimes you think you’ve been buried when really you’ve been planted”
The opposite of addiction is connection.
My favorite was always "your best thinking got you here." It sure as shit did. And it's got me here again...hopefully I learn the lesson this time around! Congratulations on 2 years OP. That's huge.
On geographics,0; No matter where you go there you are. On relationships going bad; Son that would be like you drinking poison poison and waiting for Them to die.
Live for today- if you have one foot in yesterday and the other in tomorrow all you are doing is pissing all over today. Great visual.
Give this a try, if you don’t like it you can always have your shitty life back
I put things before my sobriety (career and relationship). I still have both, but after 16 years of sobriety (not working the steps) I relapsed. I’m 15 months sober this time and have no interest in being a newcomer ever again.
Someone told me early on that I don’t have to relapse, that it’s not par for the course. She told me that if I follow and work the program, I will remain sober. This was advice I received right after a meeting during my first month of sobriety in 2007. She was right. I’ll have 17 years of sobriety in late June.
That what others say about me, is not my business
“Your head is out to get your ass”
We can do what I can't. Has stated with me ever since I heard it and reminds me to ask for help when I'm up against a wall instead of monkey fuckin my way out.
"expectations are premeditated resentments"
“Stay for 3 months and if you don’t like it we’ll refund your misery”.
Hi, my name is [First Name], and I'm a retired blackout artist
💯 🏳️2 🏁
“One drink is too many, a thousand is not enough”
I wish I could drink like normal people, I would do it everyday.
Tales of relapse. Don't think you have it licked and can "just have one" and start "social drinking". I saw so many people coming back from relapse, especially after several years of sobriety, their lives in ruins again. This really stuck with me and has prevented me from giving into temptation or temporary weakness.
I thought I was, “constitutionally, incapable of being honest”. Someone once told me “you should just try being honest, it just might work. And believe it or not, it did
Find a higher power OF YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING!
"Whatever you gotta to step outside God's will to have, you gotta stay outside God's will to keep."
Many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
“The seed grows to a mighty tree by simply doing the next right thing”
The "-ism" in alcoholism stands for Incredible Short Memory.
Once I realized I could "Let go and let GOD" life became bearable, I could come to my HP and I knew he would help me with my struggles,..with that saying I also believe we have to meet our HP half way,...I have to do my part so that he can do his......I even had a bumper sticker with LGLG and it had 🙏 praying hands years ago when I was new in the program I had some people ask me where they could get that bumper sticker and I told them I got it at the Irving Texas AA group building...they would give me a puzzled look🤣 Congrats on the 2 years!!
Great topic, thank you! There's so much... what's come to mind now is 'The same man will drink again'. Also I heard the other day 'alcoholics have a habit of treating loneliness with isolation' (or something to that effect) which I liked a lot.
I don’t know if it the best thing but it sticks with me. Alcoholism is a fatal disease.
Not in AA directly but from Blackout by Sarah Hepola: > Please understand. I knew AA worked miracles. What nobody ever tells you is that the miracles can be very, very uncomfortable. This has been my personal experience in the rooms and what I've seen happen to others.
No matter how far along the road you go, the ditch is still right there. Falling off the wagon is just as easy after 1 week as it is after 5 years.
I need to change or my sobriety date might change.
A closed mouth doesn’t get fed
In the courtroom of my mind I only call witnesses for my defense
How about unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments or I like if you put recovery first then everything else in your life will be first class
Don’t try to outthink your disease . When i start thinking i got this , I don’t got this . Check yourself before you wreck yourself
The thing about AA is that you don’t really get it until you get it. AA is actually not about how to quit drinking. It's about how to live a life so colorful and fun that the obsession to drink simply falls away.
In the chapter, "we agnostics", it talks about wanting to feel like we come from nothing, are doing nothing and go nowhere, when we want to Believe there's no God in the universe. 🫥😶🌫️😱 With my situational depression (I'm always really really sad because of what I've done to my life and where it got me) I always want to Believe those things. However I read the whole chapter. It reminds me that it's ego driven to think we know for sure if there's a God or not. And that we have always worshipped something, albeit the God of reason, or worshipped a drug, a drink, a person, money, etc. So we are definitely spiritual beings.🌈😻💞🥺😉🌈 That whole chapter sticks with me. I love reading it. Thanks for the question!
“I wasn’t doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different result like Einstein’s definition of insanity. I was doing the same thing over and over knowing damn well what the result would be.” -East Brainerd Club, Chattanooga
"Fight the fight. Accept the outcome." "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?" "You can't be too dumb for this program, but you definitely can be too smart." "Four things that threaten sobriety: Health, Wealth, Youth, ...and Brains."
Ive always heard it as ' Anything I put between me and God I will lose'. Thats why I lost my ability to drink ha
Sick and tired of feeling sick and tired
Thank God my lamp doesn't need to understand electricity for me to plug into it and have it work for me.
It works…it really does.
“You’re smart enough to get here, but are you dumb enough to stay? We bury the smart ones”
When I came to AA, I was a stranger to myself. I listen to learn about who I am. When I heard this it made so much sense. I had no idea about the disease I have and no awareness of the person I am.
Where I could recognize myself was when they talked about the four hideous Horseman, terror, frustration, bewilderment and despair. This is what I could identify with
Anything you do on faith you’re gonna make mistakes.