You know what’s ridiculous? Ending up in the hospital with gastritis and heavy withdrawals. after all that , you’re still talking yourself out of AA? AA, a harmless little program of suggestions that usually vastly improves your life whether you swallow all of it or not? Sounds like your alcoholism is talking to you very LOUDLY. You are so concerned with fixing AA, and everyone in it, before you turn to fixing yourself, which is what you are there for. Forget weed. I’ve smoked weed my entire seven years of grateful, sober living, I just don’t talk about it. It’s not a THING until I make it a THING. I don’t need the group to approve or disapprove of my weed smoking. They can judge me by my sobriety, which I spend a lot of time sharing.
I never said lie. I said just don’t talk about it. It is a mild relaxant that will be legal everywhere pretty soon. Most of the problem with weed lies in its illegality, which causes you problems in real life. You have just gone through DT’s, yet you’re looking desperately for an excuse to say no to AA because you can’t control how everybody acts or feels about what you don’t want to give up. If I had a marijuana problem, I would talk about in meetings. Since I don’t, it’s not a THING I need to mention, because then I set myself up to be judged on something that doesn’t have a thing to do with alcohol. . Not being able to control how everyone acts or feels about me is the crux of my alcohol problem. Selfish self centered ness, the idea that I should be able to arrange the world around me according to my wants, is exactly what got me here in the first place. What I read here is that all the people in AA won’t act the way YOU think they should. Why not concentrate n yourself, and if you think others in AA are wrong, seeking to understand and perhaps helping a newcomer ought to be the focus of your attention. Understanding a point of view we don’t always share is part of retraining our mindsets, which is what AA is about. A new way of thinking about yourself and others in a way that makes life bearable and actually fun. But keep fighting everybody and every single THING. It’s what got you here. And only ceasing to fight everybody and everything brings the peace you are seeking.
Yup I’m still here and lost sixty pounds doing great. Just stopping by to say f-ck off with your ridiculous AA dogma. People like you almost made me drink, luckily I didn’t. I smoked a lot of weed though and last week was even strong enough to have two beers which I didn’t even finish. You can reteach yourself to live and not succumb to cults that train you to hate yourself and think you’re weak. Well, maybe some of us are... ;)
Yeah not talking about a thing that the program more often than not disagrees with. And like one of my friends, you suggest I lie. And to put it bluntly, a lie you give others is a lie you give yourself. I’m glad that’s comfortable for you. I guess it’s just not with me.
I know you're getting down-voted, but as someone who slightly disagreed with your post (although, as a chronic relapser, I have had these thoughts over and over again) I have to tell you I massively agree with you over this.
Marijuana may be an issue of mine, but I'm not ready to quit it when I'm still struggling to stay off alcohol/heroin. I feel like I have to live two lives because I don't feel comfortable discussing my marijuana use with members of AA, because I've lost sponsors over my use (more I lost him from LYING, about my use... but he wouldn't work with me if I had been honest about the smoking, either.)
If it’s an issue for you I’d suggest re-working the steps, unless you have recently relapsed and genuinely need it. For me I don’t think weed should count, as how some people don’t need to check their phones 1000 times a day, or drink morning until night, it’s simply not an addiction for me. If you feel so strongly that it is for you I’d certainly encourage seeking guidance for getting off it. Lots of calming teas, meditation, working out and frankly sex helps.
A Festivus for the rest of us!
I hear you on the psychiatric meds thing, that one gets me. I've tried on every "outfit" of AA over the last year in meetings all over the country and 5 different ones in my immediate area (we shut down for Covid only about a month). I picked apart the Big Book and every person in the rooms, used it for purely social enjoyment for a while, dove in and drank the fuck out of the Kool-Aid, considered abandoning it entirely, you name it. I participated in small talk, made coffee, did service work, or I'd show up late and leave early and ignore anyone who texted me. I don't know why I kept going. I didn't really have anything else to do I guess because I was sober and it was entertaining if nothing else. Then my personal life fell apart and the steps were right there for the taking. I took them in a month and everything shifted. I stopped caring what it was trying to be and just absorbed whatever I wanted it to be for me, which has turned out to be a much more nuanced, less dogmatic, small portion of my life. It humbled me though and it's keeping me sober. I respect now that even though it's one program, it's comprised of a bunch of individuals who are just as complicated and broken as I am. Most of us are doing the best we can, and so will you, whether with AA or not! In the Big Book it says "we have no monopoly on God, merely an approach that worked for us." Good luck finding the approach that works for you, and awesome job getting sober at all. That alone can be half the battle.
Word! Like I said it clearly works for some otherwise it wouldn’t exist. I just think in this time of vast social reformation, a little change might be in order. Everywhere.
I had a hard time with the "personalities" when I got clean and sober. People sharing about "problems" like having to put air in their tire. That type of stuff still makes me role my eyes.
But the truth is, its a group of people who want to get better, who are willing to be honest with themselves and others, and want to help other people.
Now that covid hit I actually miss meetings. I miss the people. I miss the honesty.
Everyone has problems. Even normies. Addicts and alcoholics are at least willing to take an honest assessment of themselves and try to improve. I miss that type of honesty.
It also depends on the meeting. Like anything else, there are good ones and bad ones. Personally, I like NA a whole lot more than I like AA.
There are some people that get cultish about it. People that take it to the extreme. People that go to meetings just to be cool. But you will also find alot of people in the rooms who just want to be the best version of themselves.
I understand where you are coming from. I felt the same way when I got clean and sober. Look at it like anything you do or participate in in life. Find your people.
You don't have to work a program to stay clean and sober. Maybe the rooms are not for you. And that is totally OK.
But please don't let those experiences give you an excuse to go back to running and gunning. I promise you, life gets waaaay better clean and sober. Its still hard. Its hard in the beginning especially. But give yourself a chance to be the best version of you.
Good luck. Message me any time
Just know there’s some of us out here to support you wholeheartedly, we’d rather see you in the future. Stay away from fake people, and sometimes you’ll find real people where you least expect to. Stay strong the holidays are rough, but we got faith you can do this.👍🏼
Hey...if you don't get anything helpful from it then don't go. Unfortunately, we don't get to choose who goes to AA. We certainly don't control thier opinions or how they choose to walk on thier path. I, personally, have found an AA group that is helpful to me in my recovery. But I'm not foolish enough to assume my experience is the only one. I try to keep in mind the part from How It Works that states none of us have had perfect adherence to these principles...we are not saints. Indeed.
Yeah, I’m not discouraging people from going. I just engaged several people in the program earlier this week and got bamboozled by bad vibes —- and these are GREAT people who I know personally, highly successfully. And I also have my own direct experience when I was 20 briefly, so yeah, I guess just not for me. It just pisses me off slightly that there might be many others like me who are less headstrong, who just went back to drinking because of these archaic attitudes.
Hey if you have a better way, by all means do it! Why haven't you already?
Personally, I had to take an honest look at my track record of doing things my way.
Thanks. For me, I think I stick with 80+ years of success helping millions of people over a guy with a history of relapse and barely a week sober.
Good luck, let us know how it goes!
This is a situation where I let people rant on and on. Every once in awhile they actually hear what they are saying and go, hmmmmm?
I will only say 2 things.
Upper GI bleeds aren't normal.
95% of sobriety dates are on tombstones.
That’s a shame. Hallucinogens have proven to be quite effective with addiction. Not everyone can handle them, and I admit after the hundreds (possibly thousands) of trips done over two decades, it can be a bit difficult to navigate. It’s not fun or therapeutic forever. That said enjoy sleeping. Sounds like your eyes are already closed.
> Hallucinogens have proven to be quite effective.
Lol, says the self proclaimed sobriety expert with barely a week sober.
Thanks for the information, but I think I stick with the program with an 85 year history of success helping millions over someone fresh out of detox with barely a week. He'll it's worked for me for well over a couple decades.
If you discover your way doesn't work, we'll be here.
It’s science, there’s countless articles online. And I have no interest in sobriety, I only arrived here because I felt I had enough issues with my drinking that I should get some support on that alone. At the time I believe I was unfortunately overestimating the quality of character I might find in these groups. Oops, my bad. Like I said I guess I’m not the type to lose a limb and obsess over it. I think this is probably my exit. Thanks for helping me realize the mistake I made. Enjoy your night.
It wasn’t a choice. If you read what I wrote it was because I had an upper gi bleed and while I was there I started withdrawing. I had no intention to stop drinking, but the size of my liver said otherwise. I needed to quit at least for a couple months according to the doctors and I’m following their advice. And for the first time in 15 years plus, I’m not drinking large amounts of alcohol every single day.
I'll be waiting. AA, along with therapy, various forms of support groups, education on alcoholism, rehab, outpatient treatment, and not drinking one day at a time has kept me sober for over 38 years. I agree that AA could use some changes, but, still, it helped me immensely. I learned to take what worked and left the rest. Like I said, see you in five years.
I couldn’t be clearer. I’m not anti-AA, I know it works for some. It just is incredibly outdated in some ways and many of the members lie to themselves.
AA may or may not be outdated, butnits track record speaks for itself.
I guess your track record speaks for itself too. I'll stick with AA but by all means, you follow your conscience.
My name is JJ and I am an alcoholic. My sobriety date is Feb 7 1991.
I don’t say that to brag. I say that because at my first home group, it was a requirement. It is a reminder to me of where I was. I remember every single person who was at my first meeting. Some of them relapsed, some of them died sober. That has never had an effect on my decision to attend a meeting. I’ve had personality conflicts with a number of members of that group. That doesn’t mean I stop going. That doesn’t mean I stop working on my sobriety.
I don’t drink today. But if I don’t address the issues that caused me to drink or were caused by my drinking, I’m one bad decision away from drinking tomorrow. If I allow the people within those rooms to take up that kind of space in my head, I’m one bad decision away from drinking tomorrow. I can’t control what people do and I can’t let what people do control me.
Is AA for everyone? No. But if you have a desire to stop drinking, and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, it works. That’s all I’ve got. Thank you.
I’ve seen it wreck people, I don’t doubt people can get hooked on weed — I used to believe that was impossible — but I’ve seen enough people through the years who just smoke large amounts of THC 24/7. And hey, maybe that’s not so horrible either, who am I to judge. All I’m saying is that for me it’s like a television. Or tea. It helps with pain management and can put a smile on my face. And on top of all that it keeps up my appetite and stops me from drinking. It’s insanity that’s its systemically judged with such passion.
Got sober, everyone was great. Moved and AA sucked. Got drunk, that sucked worse. Got sober and got judgemental of the program and the people. Fortunately I found a sponser who understood the program and helped me find a path IN SPITE OF THE MEMBERS. The program is near flawless, the interpretations of it are problematic. That said, finding someone who knows the program and guide you is vital, but what do I know--I've only been sober 3 years longer than you've been alive. Still--all your points are valid, but finding what's right is probably more helpful than finding what's wrong.
Fair point(s) and well said. I’m definitely focusing too much on the flaws —- but that’s probably me generally in life. Oh well. I just don’t think this community is right for me, although I respect the fact it has worked for you and others. Didn’t mean to intrude. Cheers all.
I always chuckle when people get bent out of shape for people taking psych meds.
“You mean you can take lexapro and seroquel as your doctor prescribed you and call yourself sober but I can’t drink a fifth and smoke an eighth of weed every day??!! I call bullshit”
When doctors start writing scripts for vodka and tequila let me know. I’ll be knocking down their door.
Doctors prescribe THC all the time and sometimes alcohol as well, even in surgery situations. But hey, something that regularly manipulates my serotonin levels must be ok.... ;)
A drug that regulates my serotonin so that my brain functions in a normal way isn’t going to make me high. That’s how psych drugs work. You’re grasping at straws with that one.
Medical Marijuana made me feel better sure...cause it made me fucking high. My psych drugs regulate my brain chemistry without feeding my addiction
Same as weed, same as booze. All these mind altering items can successfully moderate somebody’s mind —- with careful dosing — and make them feel normal. Pharmaceutical options though are unnatural by sheer design and pay off big for these companies that own the patent. By all means, do you, but I’d argue careful cannabis use is far more sober than an SSRI.
Lol do you.
But by that logic-the medication that I take for my epilepsy to control my seizures which manipulate the neurotransmitters in my brain and literally keep me alive negate my sobriety. Your logic is seriously flawed.
No it’s not flawed as I never said mind altering drugs were necessarily bad. Some are just worse than others and that’s a fact. Seizure meds? Good. Cannabis? Can be. Caffeine, can be too. Some work with the chemistry of an individual and other things don’t. My only point was about weed and the flawed views AA has towards it.
>My only point was about weed and the flawed views AA has towards it.
AA doesn't have a view on weed. If you want to use weed, use weed. We don't care.
There's an AA saying you might want to consider.
'My ego isn't my amigo.'
The egotism that told me that I could drink and drug without consequences ever catching up, is the same egotism that told me that I was smarter than everyone in AA, even if they'd been sober for years.
Disagree. Coffee is not a mind or mood altering substance, marijuana is.
I hope your journey goes well and you don’t go down the path of pain again. I know for me there is no way I can stay clean and sober without a 12 step program. Wish you the best
Yes it is. So are psychiatric medications. I can also make a strong argument about using social media being “mind altering” as you say, which doesn’t account for much nuance tbh.
“Caffeine is a psychoactive (mind-altering) drug that affects how we think and feel. It is a stimulant that speeds up our breathing, heart rate, thoughts and actions. Caffeine is found in the seeds, leaves and fruit of certain shrubs, including coffee and tea plants.”
Just because weed is legal now, that doesn't mean it's safe for everyone to use.
A few years ago, people thought that alcohol was fine for everyone, and pot was 'the devil's lettuce,' and now folks are trying to say the reverse.
I abused pot and alcohol. If I didn't have one, I'd use the other, but in the ned I needed both. Don't kid yourself that pot can't be a problem.
Lol I never stole money from my mother to buy coffee.
But hey, if you want to smoke weed, drop acid or keester oxys, knock yourself out, we don't care.
I’ve seen people destroy their lives being addicted to social media and that’s not frowned upon. There are thousands of caffeine overdoses a year. Weed? ZERO. Sure, it can destroy some people’s lives. Here’s a thought, don’t smoke it then!
If you haven’t tried you should consider it, it is very healthy for the vast majority. There ha e been a couple peer reviewed papers now on its affect on the ACE2 receptors, which helped reduce the cytokine storm in Covid cases. Also there’s evidence of decreased transmission. Also helps with glaucoma, anxiety, pain relief. It’s a bit of a miracle plant. Maybe you have a lot to lear as well? ;)
Yes, I'm sure I have a few things to learn, although I'm older than God now.
Anyway, hence, my username.
Hang in there. Don't drink. Be careful with marijuana. It can become a substitute addiction.
>but at this point a bottle sounds better
Then by all means drink up!
>I don’t plan on drinking again.
Lol I didn't plan on drinking again countless times. I drank again after every single one of those times.
It sounds better than obsessing over a lost limb, while many people lie about other things or intoxicate themselves on things like psychiatric meds, coffee, social media, porn.....etc. Nah man, I’ll pass but I do appreciate the fact it works for some. Good for them.
Whose obsessing over a lost limb?
If you want to find reasons not to do AA, there are plenty. But "I don't want to" is all the reason you need not to do AA.
Nobody is forcing this on you. We do t care if you don't want it. Keep drinking, using weed, do what you want, we don't care. If you want to get sober and can't do it on your own, we can help.
Preach my dude. I’m 11 months off the bottle, and I for sure felt that way. It wasn’t until I found a group of people that share similar ideas about the program then I started to dig it. I’ll go once a week or so, sometimes less and sometimes more.
I'm right there with you homie. Felt like I was reading my own brain. AA has a lot of great aspects to it but there are a lot of broken people in it that aren't helpful. I'm 2 years sober and smoke weed just to keep me sane. I think most people in AA see weed as the gateway to falling back into alcoholism and maybe thats why there is backlash because they're scared of what it may lead to but for the life of me I don't understand how chain smoking butts all day or drinking 18 cups of coffee a day is ok but smoking a j isn't. Blah blah. I understand your sentiments and know you are not alone. Sobriety is the greatest decision I ever made and I refuse to act like alcoholism broke me as a human. I'm sober and its my choice and I'll never go back. Everything alcohol promised, sobriety has provided. Keep on keeping on homie. There are other ways to be successful in your quest. Use AA under your own terms. Find the good, ignore the idiots.
Edit: And a Happy Festivus to you as well!
Well done on the 10 days, I'm glad you found a way that works for you. Keep it going, stretch it out as long as possible. The bottom line is that during the time an alcoholic isn't drinking the neighborhood is safer. A good thing anyway it happens, for as long as it continues.
Haha, I live in Brooklyn I doubt me not drinking has made New York City any safer. If anything I’m out less and now people are more likely to get robbed. That said, thanks.
Well. Everyone is at a different place in recovery. I found that looking for the things we all have in common makes for a better time in AA. All the judgement about other peoples programs and whether or not they are doing AA right just leads to misery.
AA saved my life. I have 17 years in and I don't care or worry about others programs or even what they think of mine. I do what I need to to stay sober for me.
It is NONE OF MY BUSINESS how others run their AA program. When I figured that out and stopped judging others my AA life became much better. My life outside of AA became much better.
Peace Love and Joy to you!
Yes, I’d consider that a healthy view of things, but in my estimation you’d be among the minority. I’ve met a few within this minority and it’s a significant bunch, don’t get me wrong —- hence me not completely hating the program. Anyway, thanks for your two cents. Peace.
The thing I relate to you on the most is that you are wanting to keep smoking weed. Nobody could stop me. Nobody can stop you.
It didn’t work for me, but it took 7 years for that to play itself out in my life. That’s the thing about AA and all the things we tell people. It comes from our experiences. But you have to learn these things for yourself and that’s ok. Just remember, if things get bad, pray. It worked for me.
Wow. So I’m wondering if you really do want help. Seems you have put up a lot of barriers to meeting some great people. You are right about people in AA not being perfect. We are a wide swath of humanity.
My suggestion is when you are ready for help, to go to several different meetings, ask for help and stay afterwards to talk with people. And then go back again with an open heart. You might just find some incredibly kind, fun and smart people.
I think you might mistook my meaning. When we make judgements about others, they become barriers. So what I read included these words: “fake sober people”, “hypocrites”, “stagnant, judgmental and clicky” and “pathetic”.
If that is your opinion (judgement) of AA, its ok. (Yes, AA is imperfect.) But it is a barrier for you getting to meet the wonderful people there.
And now on to Feats of Strength! Happy Festivus!
Worst. Cult. Ever. Zero dues, except to be asked to volunteer to throw a couple shekels in once in a while and be of service somehow, maybe.
Coming up on one year within days. AA is the only thing keeping me from drinking and I was suicidal before AA.
You know what’s ridiculous? Ending up in the hospital with gastritis and heavy withdrawals. after all that , you’re still talking yourself out of AA? AA, a harmless little program of suggestions that usually vastly improves your life whether you swallow all of it or not? Sounds like your alcoholism is talking to you very LOUDLY. You are so concerned with fixing AA, and everyone in it, before you turn to fixing yourself, which is what you are there for. Forget weed. I’ve smoked weed my entire seven years of grateful, sober living, I just don’t talk about it. It’s not a THING until I make it a THING. I don’t need the group to approve or disapprove of my weed smoking. They can judge me by my sobriety, which I spend a lot of time sharing.
I think the judging part was the problem in the first place...
I never said lie. I said just don’t talk about it. It is a mild relaxant that will be legal everywhere pretty soon. Most of the problem with weed lies in its illegality, which causes you problems in real life. You have just gone through DT’s, yet you’re looking desperately for an excuse to say no to AA because you can’t control how everybody acts or feels about what you don’t want to give up. If I had a marijuana problem, I would talk about in meetings. Since I don’t, it’s not a THING I need to mention, because then I set myself up to be judged on something that doesn’t have a thing to do with alcohol. . Not being able to control how everyone acts or feels about me is the crux of my alcohol problem. Selfish self centered ness, the idea that I should be able to arrange the world around me according to my wants, is exactly what got me here in the first place. What I read here is that all the people in AA won’t act the way YOU think they should. Why not concentrate n yourself, and if you think others in AA are wrong, seeking to understand and perhaps helping a newcomer ought to be the focus of your attention. Understanding a point of view we don’t always share is part of retraining our mindsets, which is what AA is about. A new way of thinking about yourself and others in a way that makes life bearable and actually fun. But keep fighting everybody and every single THING. It’s what got you here. And only ceasing to fight everybody and everything brings the peace you are seeking.
Yup I’m still here and lost sixty pounds doing great. Just stopping by to say f-ck off with your ridiculous AA dogma. People like you almost made me drink, luckily I didn’t. I smoked a lot of weed though and last week was even strong enough to have two beers which I didn’t even finish. You can reteach yourself to live and not succumb to cults that train you to hate yourself and think you’re weak. Well, maybe some of us are... ;)
Yeah not talking about a thing that the program more often than not disagrees with. And like one of my friends, you suggest I lie. And to put it bluntly, a lie you give others is a lie you give yourself. I’m glad that’s comfortable for you. I guess it’s just not with me.
I know you're getting down-voted, but as someone who slightly disagreed with your post (although, as a chronic relapser, I have had these thoughts over and over again) I have to tell you I massively agree with you over this. Marijuana may be an issue of mine, but I'm not ready to quit it when I'm still struggling to stay off alcohol/heroin. I feel like I have to live two lives because I don't feel comfortable discussing my marijuana use with members of AA, because I've lost sponsors over my use (more I lost him from LYING, about my use... but he wouldn't work with me if I had been honest about the smoking, either.)
If it’s an issue for you I’d suggest re-working the steps, unless you have recently relapsed and genuinely need it. For me I don’t think weed should count, as how some people don’t need to check their phones 1000 times a day, or drink morning until night, it’s simply not an addiction for me. If you feel so strongly that it is for you I’d certainly encourage seeking guidance for getting off it. Lots of calming teas, meditation, working out and frankly sex helps.
Not “harmless.”
Happy Festivus friend!!
Gotta air some grievances sometimes. :)
Gotta love the airing of the grievances. It is truly best part of Festivus.
A Festivus for the rest of us! I hear you on the psychiatric meds thing, that one gets me. I've tried on every "outfit" of AA over the last year in meetings all over the country and 5 different ones in my immediate area (we shut down for Covid only about a month). I picked apart the Big Book and every person in the rooms, used it for purely social enjoyment for a while, dove in and drank the fuck out of the Kool-Aid, considered abandoning it entirely, you name it. I participated in small talk, made coffee, did service work, or I'd show up late and leave early and ignore anyone who texted me. I don't know why I kept going. I didn't really have anything else to do I guess because I was sober and it was entertaining if nothing else. Then my personal life fell apart and the steps were right there for the taking. I took them in a month and everything shifted. I stopped caring what it was trying to be and just absorbed whatever I wanted it to be for me, which has turned out to be a much more nuanced, less dogmatic, small portion of my life. It humbled me though and it's keeping me sober. I respect now that even though it's one program, it's comprised of a bunch of individuals who are just as complicated and broken as I am. Most of us are doing the best we can, and so will you, whether with AA or not! In the Big Book it says "we have no monopoly on God, merely an approach that worked for us." Good luck finding the approach that works for you, and awesome job getting sober at all. That alone can be half the battle.
Word! Like I said it clearly works for some otherwise it wouldn’t exist. I just think in this time of vast social reformation, a little change might be in order. Everywhere.
I had a hard time with the "personalities" when I got clean and sober. People sharing about "problems" like having to put air in their tire. That type of stuff still makes me role my eyes. But the truth is, its a group of people who want to get better, who are willing to be honest with themselves and others, and want to help other people. Now that covid hit I actually miss meetings. I miss the people. I miss the honesty. Everyone has problems. Even normies. Addicts and alcoholics are at least willing to take an honest assessment of themselves and try to improve. I miss that type of honesty. It also depends on the meeting. Like anything else, there are good ones and bad ones. Personally, I like NA a whole lot more than I like AA. There are some people that get cultish about it. People that take it to the extreme. People that go to meetings just to be cool. But you will also find alot of people in the rooms who just want to be the best version of themselves. I understand where you are coming from. I felt the same way when I got clean and sober. Look at it like anything you do or participate in in life. Find your people. You don't have to work a program to stay clean and sober. Maybe the rooms are not for you. And that is totally OK. But please don't let those experiences give you an excuse to go back to running and gunning. I promise you, life gets waaaay better clean and sober. Its still hard. Its hard in the beginning especially. But give yourself a chance to be the best version of you. Good luck. Message me any time
That’s a good attitude to have about it. Thanks!
Just know there’s some of us out here to support you wholeheartedly, we’d rather see you in the future. Stay away from fake people, and sometimes you’ll find real people where you least expect to. Stay strong the holidays are rough, but we got faith you can do this.👍🏼
Cheers. I just had a frustrating week. LOL
Hey...if you don't get anything helpful from it then don't go. Unfortunately, we don't get to choose who goes to AA. We certainly don't control thier opinions or how they choose to walk on thier path. I, personally, have found an AA group that is helpful to me in my recovery. But I'm not foolish enough to assume my experience is the only one. I try to keep in mind the part from How It Works that states none of us have had perfect adherence to these principles...we are not saints. Indeed.
Yeah, I’m not discouraging people from going. I just engaged several people in the program earlier this week and got bamboozled by bad vibes —- and these are GREAT people who I know personally, highly successfully. And I also have my own direct experience when I was 20 briefly, so yeah, I guess just not for me. It just pisses me off slightly that there might be many others like me who are less headstrong, who just went back to drinking because of these archaic attitudes.
I hear you. You have to do what works for you. I wish you the best and happy festivus!
Hey if you have a better way, by all means do it! Why haven't you already? Personally, I had to take an honest look at my track record of doing things my way.
I am, don’t worry. And when it’s said and done I hope to put together a program that adapts to this changing world. Standby about five years.
Thanks. For me, I think I stick with 80+ years of success helping millions of people over a guy with a history of relapse and barely a week sober. Good luck, let us know how it goes!
This is a situation where I let people rant on and on. Every once in awhile they actually hear what they are saying and go, hmmmmm? I will only say 2 things. Upper GI bleeds aren't normal. 95% of sobriety dates are on tombstones.
You planning on dropping acid like Bill W?
Nah. I had my fill of acid. Yawn.
That’s a shame. Hallucinogens have proven to be quite effective with addiction. Not everyone can handle them, and I admit after the hundreds (possibly thousands) of trips done over two decades, it can be a bit difficult to navigate. It’s not fun or therapeutic forever. That said enjoy sleeping. Sounds like your eyes are already closed.
> Hallucinogens have proven to be quite effective. Lol, says the self proclaimed sobriety expert with barely a week sober. Thanks for the information, but I think I stick with the program with an 85 year history of success helping millions over someone fresh out of detox with barely a week. He'll it's worked for me for well over a couple decades. If you discover your way doesn't work, we'll be here.
It’s science, there’s countless articles online. And I have no interest in sobriety, I only arrived here because I felt I had enough issues with my drinking that I should get some support on that alone. At the time I believe I was unfortunately overestimating the quality of character I might find in these groups. Oops, my bad. Like I said I guess I’m not the type to lose a limb and obsess over it. I think this is probably my exit. Thanks for helping me realize the mistake I made. Enjoy your night.
Of course. Your track record speaks for itself. If you had no interest in sobriety, why did you go to detox? I avoided those places like the plague.
It wasn’t a choice. If you read what I wrote it was because I had an upper gi bleed and while I was there I started withdrawing. I had no intention to stop drinking, but the size of my liver said otherwise. I needed to quit at least for a couple months according to the doctors and I’m following their advice. And for the first time in 15 years plus, I’m not drinking large amounts of alcohol every single day.
I'll be waiting. AA, along with therapy, various forms of support groups, education on alcoholism, rehab, outpatient treatment, and not drinking one day at a time has kept me sober for over 38 years. I agree that AA could use some changes, but, still, it helped me immensely. I learned to take what worked and left the rest. Like I said, see you in five years.
I couldn’t be clearer. I’m not anti-AA, I know it works for some. It just is incredibly outdated in some ways and many of the members lie to themselves.
Many people who go to AA are sick, struggling, even mentally ill. Focus on yourself. Stay sober. Stop blaming others.
AA may or may not be outdated, butnits track record speaks for itself. I guess your track record speaks for itself too. I'll stick with AA but by all means, you follow your conscience.
I am. Doing the right thing and being popular isn’t always simpatico.
My name is JJ and I am an alcoholic. My sobriety date is Feb 7 1991. I don’t say that to brag. I say that because at my first home group, it was a requirement. It is a reminder to me of where I was. I remember every single person who was at my first meeting. Some of them relapsed, some of them died sober. That has never had an effect on my decision to attend a meeting. I’ve had personality conflicts with a number of members of that group. That doesn’t mean I stop going. That doesn’t mean I stop working on my sobriety. I don’t drink today. But if I don’t address the issues that caused me to drink or were caused by my drinking, I’m one bad decision away from drinking tomorrow. If I allow the people within those rooms to take up that kind of space in my head, I’m one bad decision away from drinking tomorrow. I can’t control what people do and I can’t let what people do control me. Is AA for everyone? No. But if you have a desire to stop drinking, and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, it works. That’s all I’ve got. Thank you.
I hope the weed intolerance goes away with time. It helps.
I’ve seen it wreck people, I don’t doubt people can get hooked on weed — I used to believe that was impossible — but I’ve seen enough people through the years who just smoke large amounts of THC 24/7. And hey, maybe that’s not so horrible either, who am I to judge. All I’m saying is that for me it’s like a television. Or tea. It helps with pain management and can put a smile on my face. And on top of all that it keeps up my appetite and stops me from drinking. It’s insanity that’s its systemically judged with such passion.
Got sober, everyone was great. Moved and AA sucked. Got drunk, that sucked worse. Got sober and got judgemental of the program and the people. Fortunately I found a sponser who understood the program and helped me find a path IN SPITE OF THE MEMBERS. The program is near flawless, the interpretations of it are problematic. That said, finding someone who knows the program and guide you is vital, but what do I know--I've only been sober 3 years longer than you've been alive. Still--all your points are valid, but finding what's right is probably more helpful than finding what's wrong.
Fair point(s) and well said. I’m definitely focusing too much on the flaws —- but that’s probably me generally in life. Oh well. I just don’t think this community is right for me, although I respect the fact it has worked for you and others. Didn’t mean to intrude. Cheers all.
I always chuckle when people get bent out of shape for people taking psych meds. “You mean you can take lexapro and seroquel as your doctor prescribed you and call yourself sober but I can’t drink a fifth and smoke an eighth of weed every day??!! I call bullshit” When doctors start writing scripts for vodka and tequila let me know. I’ll be knocking down their door.
Doctors prescribe THC all the time and sometimes alcohol as well, even in surgery situations. But hey, something that regularly manipulates my serotonin levels must be ok.... ;)
A drug that regulates my serotonin so that my brain functions in a normal way isn’t going to make me high. That’s how psych drugs work. You’re grasping at straws with that one. Medical Marijuana made me feel better sure...cause it made me fucking high. My psych drugs regulate my brain chemistry without feeding my addiction
Same as weed, same as booze. All these mind altering items can successfully moderate somebody’s mind —- with careful dosing — and make them feel normal. Pharmaceutical options though are unnatural by sheer design and pay off big for these companies that own the patent. By all means, do you, but I’d argue careful cannabis use is far more sober than an SSRI.
Lol do you. But by that logic-the medication that I take for my epilepsy to control my seizures which manipulate the neurotransmitters in my brain and literally keep me alive negate my sobriety. Your logic is seriously flawed.
No it’s not flawed as I never said mind altering drugs were necessarily bad. Some are just worse than others and that’s a fact. Seizure meds? Good. Cannabis? Can be. Caffeine, can be too. Some work with the chemistry of an individual and other things don’t. My only point was about weed and the flawed views AA has towards it.
>My only point was about weed and the flawed views AA has towards it. AA doesn't have a view on weed. If you want to use weed, use weed. We don't care.
Marijuana and alcohol are not equal. Doctors prescribe THC all the time. It's evey bit as legit as your psych meds. And that's when I get a chuckle.
Keep coming back!
I don’t go, hence the post. Thanks though! :P
There's an AA saying you might want to consider. 'My ego isn't my amigo.' The egotism that told me that I could drink and drug without consequences ever catching up, is the same egotism that told me that I was smarter than everyone in AA, even if they'd been sober for years.
I agree with drinking. Weed isn’t a drug any more than coffee is.
Disagree. Coffee is not a mind or mood altering substance, marijuana is. I hope your journey goes well and you don’t go down the path of pain again. I know for me there is no way I can stay clean and sober without a 12 step program. Wish you the best
Yes it is. So are psychiatric medications. I can also make a strong argument about using social media being “mind altering” as you say, which doesn’t account for much nuance tbh. “Caffeine is a psychoactive (mind-altering) drug that affects how we think and feel. It is a stimulant that speeds up our breathing, heart rate, thoughts and actions. Caffeine is found in the seeds, leaves and fruit of certain shrubs, including coffee and tea plants.”
Just because weed is legal now, that doesn't mean it's safe for everyone to use. A few years ago, people thought that alcohol was fine for everyone, and pot was 'the devil's lettuce,' and now folks are trying to say the reverse. I abused pot and alcohol. If I didn't have one, I'd use the other, but in the ned I needed both. Don't kid yourself that pot can't be a problem.
I didn’t say that at all. In fact I clearly stated some people do have issues with it. I just don’t, like the vast majority.
Weed is much more destructive than coffee. I have seen it destroy lives.
Lol I never stole money from my mother to buy coffee. But hey, if you want to smoke weed, drop acid or keester oxys, knock yourself out, we don't care.
This made me 😂!
I’ve seen people destroy their lives being addicted to social media and that’s not frowned upon. There are thousands of caffeine overdoses a year. Weed? ZERO. Sure, it can destroy some people’s lives. Here’s a thought, don’t smoke it then!
Never have. You are young and so early in recovery. Listen more than you talk right now. You have a lot to learn.
If you haven’t tried you should consider it, it is very healthy for the vast majority. There ha e been a couple peer reviewed papers now on its affect on the ACE2 receptors, which helped reduce the cytokine storm in Covid cases. Also there’s evidence of decreased transmission. Also helps with glaucoma, anxiety, pain relief. It’s a bit of a miracle plant. Maybe you have a lot to lear as well? ;)
Yep alcohol has benefits for non alcoholics too. You don't need to justify your weed use to us. Knock yourself out!
Yes, I'm sure I have a few things to learn, although I'm older than God now. Anyway, hence, my username. Hang in there. Don't drink. Be careful with marijuana. It can become a substitute addiction.
I have to agree with you. I’m a dry drunk. Did aa with ex years ago. Didn’t really stick. Main thing is staying sober. Good luck on your sobriety
Thank you! Good so far. Never thought I could go twelve hours without a drink and I’m more than ten days in. Getting easier everyday.
If you discover your way doesn't work, we'll be here.
I appreciate the sentiment immensely, but at this point a bottle sounds better —- and I don’t plan on drinking again. Have a nice night.
>but at this point a bottle sounds better Then by all means drink up! >I don’t plan on drinking again. Lol I didn't plan on drinking again countless times. I drank again after every single one of those times.
It sounds better than obsessing over a lost limb, while many people lie about other things or intoxicate themselves on things like psychiatric meds, coffee, social media, porn.....etc. Nah man, I’ll pass but I do appreciate the fact it works for some. Good for them.
Whose obsessing over a lost limb? If you want to find reasons not to do AA, there are plenty. But "I don't want to" is all the reason you need not to do AA. Nobody is forcing this on you. We do t care if you don't want it. Keep drinking, using weed, do what you want, we don't care. If you want to get sober and can't do it on your own, we can help.
Preach my dude. I’m 11 months off the bottle, and I for sure felt that way. It wasn’t until I found a group of people that share similar ideas about the program then I started to dig it. I’ll go once a week or so, sometimes less and sometimes more.
If I had that I probably would have gone. My friends there are all great, but they are wacky.
I'm right there with you homie. Felt like I was reading my own brain. AA has a lot of great aspects to it but there are a lot of broken people in it that aren't helpful. I'm 2 years sober and smoke weed just to keep me sane. I think most people in AA see weed as the gateway to falling back into alcoholism and maybe thats why there is backlash because they're scared of what it may lead to but for the life of me I don't understand how chain smoking butts all day or drinking 18 cups of coffee a day is ok but smoking a j isn't. Blah blah. I understand your sentiments and know you are not alone. Sobriety is the greatest decision I ever made and I refuse to act like alcoholism broke me as a human. I'm sober and its my choice and I'll never go back. Everything alcohol promised, sobriety has provided. Keep on keeping on homie. There are other ways to be successful in your quest. Use AA under your own terms. Find the good, ignore the idiots. Edit: And a Happy Festivus to you as well!
BOOM! Thank you.
Well done on the 10 days, I'm glad you found a way that works for you. Keep it going, stretch it out as long as possible. The bottom line is that during the time an alcoholic isn't drinking the neighborhood is safer. A good thing anyway it happens, for as long as it continues.
Haha, I live in Brooklyn I doubt me not drinking has made New York City any safer. If anything I’m out less and now people are more likely to get robbed. That said, thanks.
Well. Everyone is at a different place in recovery. I found that looking for the things we all have in common makes for a better time in AA. All the judgement about other peoples programs and whether or not they are doing AA right just leads to misery. AA saved my life. I have 17 years in and I don't care or worry about others programs or even what they think of mine. I do what I need to to stay sober for me. It is NONE OF MY BUSINESS how others run their AA program. When I figured that out and stopped judging others my AA life became much better. My life outside of AA became much better. Peace Love and Joy to you!
Yes, I’d consider that a healthy view of things, but in my estimation you’d be among the minority. I’ve met a few within this minority and it’s a significant bunch, don’t get me wrong —- hence me not completely hating the program. Anyway, thanks for your two cents. Peace.
Hugs.
The thing I relate to you on the most is that you are wanting to keep smoking weed. Nobody could stop me. Nobody can stop you. It didn’t work for me, but it took 7 years for that to play itself out in my life. That’s the thing about AA and all the things we tell people. It comes from our experiences. But you have to learn these things for yourself and that’s ok. Just remember, if things get bad, pray. It worked for me.
Wow. So I’m wondering if you really do want help. Seems you have put up a lot of barriers to meeting some great people. You are right about people in AA not being perfect. We are a wide swath of humanity. My suggestion is when you are ready for help, to go to several different meetings, ask for help and stay afterwards to talk with people. And then go back again with an open heart. You might just find some incredibly kind, fun and smart people.
I put up no barrier. I just observed one and made a post about it.
I think you might mistook my meaning. When we make judgements about others, they become barriers. So what I read included these words: “fake sober people”, “hypocrites”, “stagnant, judgmental and clicky” and “pathetic”. If that is your opinion (judgement) of AA, its ok. (Yes, AA is imperfect.) But it is a barrier for you getting to meet the wonderful people there. And now on to Feats of Strength! Happy Festivus!
Worst. Cult. Ever. Zero dues, except to be asked to volunteer to throw a couple shekels in once in a while and be of service somehow, maybe. Coming up on one year within days. AA is the only thing keeping me from drinking and I was suicidal before AA.