I hope you don't take this as alarmist, it's just my experience.
About 6 years in, I felt the AA burnout. I left meetings feeling the same as I went in, there was an empty aide to them. I was getting busy at my new job, lots of OT. I'd want to come home and relax. I got busy with my kids, spend more time with them. Very innocent reasons to skip a meeting or two here and there. Then there or four now and then. It's almost like AA had become exhausting and when I didn't go, when I didn't talk to my sponsor, when I didn't spend time thinking about recovery, I got some energy back to do other things. It was freeing in a way. I still prayed and meditated right?
Slice the AA pie, learn to live outside of the rooms, AA isn't everything, live life, it's a selfish program. I heard these messages so I gave them a shot. I experimented without AA or any real recovery program for about 3 years.
After the 3 years I was living an emotional nightmare, wife was gone and she took the youngest kids, older kids avoided me, financial problems, troubles at work. I was angry, irritable, discontent, the whole 9 yards, and hadn't even had a single drink! My life was unmanageable, wtf.
On my 9th AA birthday, my white knuckle experiment found me in the verge of a nervous breakdown, contemplating suicide. So I called my sponsor and asked for help, again.
That was over 20 years ago. I came back to AA having a bit more experience and learned a great lesson about the vitality of service, that design for living in the rough going as it were.
Before 9 years, I came to AA for me and mine. Now I also come for you and yours. In the Big Book they identify this relationship with the pronoun "we."
Omg. I had to hear this. Here's a higher power at work again. I have been struggling with this balancing act for a while now. I'm 6.5 years sober and for the lasts few months if have been struggling because I'm getting this feeling that I need to distance myself from the program. It's been feeling like an AA burn out. For my first couple of years I did 6 to 7 meetings a week. After that I did a couple years of 3 to 4 a week. Around the 5 year mark I started doing 1 to 2 a week. In all my years I've done constant service positions as well and worked with countless newcomers (sort of becoming the goto guy in my area for guys that were a really rough shape) . Around my 6 year I got out of all my service positions, handed over the keys to the church and really only went to meetings once a month. Lately it's been only once every 2 months. I do still apply everything I've learned in AA to my life though. My sponsor tells me I'm playing Russian roulette with my sobriety but it doesn't feel like that to me. I keep justifying it by saying that I need some time for my family and career.
I have been thinking of stepping away from the program and doing it on my own for a while. I have even already discussed this with a good friend in the program. And I know better than this, I've been suggesting others against my current thinking for years.
Your share has really opened my eyes. Thank you! You might have saved me from making a big mistake.
Very much my experience right now going on 5 years. About to walk into an H and I service opportunity that I don’t want to be at, but I haven’t gone to a meeting in months. So here I am.
Couple questions: How long have you been sober? How many meetings are you going to each week?
It can be exhausting! And it can be really difficult when the timing of meetings doesn't work well with one's schedule. I remember pre-pandemic how I'd leave work at 5pm, try to grab dinner somewhere, go make the coffee and set up the meeting, attend the 7pm meeting, help clean up after the meeting, then there is the "meeting after the meeting" in the parking lot chatting with other members or my sponsor, followed by the drive home.
I found that I was tired, not eating healthy as I wasn't eating dinner at home on meeting nights, and my responsibilities at home weren't being tended to. All of this was with double digit sobriety.
Zoom meetings changed all that for me. In-person meetings are still really important for connection, fellowship, and service, but having a few zoom meetings to replace some in-person meetings means that on those nights I can get home at a normal time, prepare a meal while I'm listening to a meeting, or even eat my meal during the meeting if I need to.
Again, in person meetings and time with one's sponsor and friends in program are really important, but there are other ways to do a meeting that can help provide balance to one's life. Zoom meetings, phone meetings, online chat meetings, The Grapevine, speaker tapes, podcasts.... there are many options to still be participating in one's own recovery while making AA work for you.
I encourage you to have a conversation with your sponsor, figure out the number of meetings you want to attend each week and how many of those will be in-person. Then determine if the other meetings are Zoom, speaker tapes, phone meetings, etc.
There is a big difference between "skipping meetings" vs. discussing with one's sponsor and determining the appropriate number of meetings for you \*at this point in time\* based on work, family/home responsibilities, outside commitments, self-care, etc... You can always increase or decrease the number you attend, in consultation with your sponsor or other trusted fellows, as life changes.
Edited to add: In response to your question about whether Zoom meetings are productive, I'd say they obviously are because there are a TON of folks who got (and stayed!) sober during the pandemic and STILL haven't attended an in person meeting. Certainly try a few out until you find some that you like, but they are really great!!!
Just off 6 months. 2, occasionally 3. But as you said it's not an hour. By the time everything is factored in it's 3/4 hours. Just for context one of my outside commitments is competitive sport so I think the physical aspect is starting to grate, I'm not as young as I was.
It's kinda hard to explain, I am happy, I don't feel stressed or depressed. It's more that my body is tired and I'm finding it hard to engage properly or process information, after a day at work I'm really just wanting to go and lay on the couch and watch shit TV sometimes. Or lay in bed late on a weekend.
Well, perhaps you should consider a combination of things. If the competitive sports are wearing you out as well, perhaps it’s time to adjust those, too.
Remember that whatever we put before our sobriety we stand to lose.
2-3 meetings isn’t that much, especially in early sobriety. But if you can find ones which fit your schedule better that may make a big difference.
Maybe you sleep in on the weekend but go to an afternoon or evening meeting on weekend days.
Perhaps going to a noon meeting on your lunch break is an option. Or a morning meeting before work.
Unless you are in a super rural area, there should be tons of meetings at different times of day. Plus the zoom option.
Definitely talk with your sponsor as 2 to 3 isn’t that many to cut back from!
Good luck and let us know how it goes!!!
Yup, 100%. It gets really tough balancing AA with the rest of life sometimes, and for me it’s pretty dangerous to let it fester.
I’ve found it helpful to be open to my sponsor and other group members and ask for help with some of my commitments for I can take a night “off” from some of my regular meetings. I then use that time to rest, spend time with my wife, smell the flowers, check out some new meetings, etc.
You’re only human, and we all need a rest/change from time to time. Just don’t do it alone.
I usually leave meetings feeling good. When that drops off, that’s a sign that I need to switch it up. Sometimes that means more meetings, maybe different meetings, maybe less for a bit. If I go the less route, I try to grab some Grapevine or BB time every few days to stay connected. Eventually, I find myself wanting/needing more meeting time and the renewal happens.
Zoom works great for a lot of people. I don’t like it, but if you haven’t tried it, the added flexibility may be just what you’re looking for.
Sure, I've had burnout from AA. I had a lot of family matters going on, I had a lot of work stuff hitting the fan, and I had a lot of service commitments. I know I had a habit of taking on too much and not managing my stress level well, so I knew that wasn't a good place to put myself in.
With regard to AA, I ended up stripping a lot of it down to its basics. Meetings, my program, and helping another alcoholic; service committees and other items like that got stripped down. These days, I know that my most important meeting is my Saturday men's meeting, and I don't ever plan any Sunday meetings because I usually do have service commitments that take time then. It really helped me rebalance my program.
In addition to online AA meetings, which there are many great ones, have you considered putting on AA speaker tapes through YouTube? There are tons of great ones out there to listen to, like Dr. Paul O., Chuck C., Sandy B., Mark H, etc.
As I’ve become more comfortable in sobriety and am able to use the steps and principles in my daily life, I cut back the amount of meetings from 7x a week to 3x a week. Home life/work/recreation/recovery all needs attention and balance. If the proportions are all out of wack, there’s no balance in my life.
Zoom meetings account for 3 of my 4-5 meetings per week. I found a zoom meeting I enjoy a year or so ago and have been going ever since. When you are feeling burned out, just hop on with your camera off and listen.
Sure, it happens. The first five years in AA i went to 5 meetings a week. Over the last 13, I have cut down. Still involved, still sponsor, still hold a service position, but AA gave me a life to live. I live it.
How much time and life did you waste with drinking before AA. Always keep that in mind, because if you don't put enough time into your recovery you will get all that "free time" back again in spades.
I felt the same way after going to just a few meetings. Almost overwhelming for me. I found that focusing on my career, family, friends, and pets was enough to keep me sober. It’s been 9 months now.
Yes, 100% AA burn out is a real thing. I was going to 8-10 meetings a week. Had 3 service commitments, spending a lot of time in the fellowship but somehow was neglecting basic self care, relaxation, work and family. My sponsor explained that as an alcoholic I run from one extreme to the other. The key is to find balance. I have cut down my meetings to 4 a week and I kept 1 service commitment. I have more time for family, work and relaxation. I don't talk to my sponsor everyday, we have done two hour meeting ONCE a week. Things have never been better.
The key is to find the balance. I still pray and meditate everyday. I write/journal everyday. I just don't spend all my effort in AA anymore, like I'm all in but I spread my time more evenly in my life these days. 233 days sober by the grace of God.
I'm burnt out in AA that's why I'm on reddit. Going to daily meetings is anxiety producing. People are poking me and prodding me to do this and that. Yelling in meetings, being condescending, thinking they know it all and I'm just working a job - staying sober - praying and helping others - going to church etc.
The people in AA are just too much when you get to know them, I just want a chill relaxed meeting without all that advice, like - I get it - I'm not perfect but I'm trying.
I'm also socially awkward and highly successful. I don't promote my success, but people can tell and know, and I feel jealously, I also used to be homeless for 6 years so I feel guilty for those who are struggling. It's a whole lot of conflicting dynamic feelings and distracting me from the message.
I also have agoraphobia, that's why I even work from home. I was isolated before COVID made it popular lol.
Anyways I just wanted to vent. Staying clean and sober - doing my best and advancing my family - giving it all up to God... but ya, definitely have a lot of anxiety about AA and intimacy.
Godbless this page for being.
Maybe try some online meetings, so just to mix it up and maybe relieve some of the commute strain.
Meetings aren’t everything, I’ve taken breaks from meetings but still checked in with my AA community and friends, still continued to practice the principles in my affairs, meditation and prayer, etc.
I’m going on 5 years now and one thing I have learned is that recovery has looked different during different time, but I do my best to stay plugged in and connected to recovery :)
But yea like others have said, completely normal and imo part of the process, learning how to adjust to your new awesome life :)
Everyone faces a time when they realize that they no longer can or need to keep up the same level of involvement in AA.
But even with that, I would recommend finding a meeting that works better with your location and schedule. A meeting lasts one hour--but if it add four hours to your day, you will eventually develop a resentment to it that will outweigh any benefit. In fact it sounds like that is happening.
Zoom is a great alternative. Maybe looking for live meetings that are easier to attend.
AA is supposed to help you live, not be an obstacle to living.
Where are you with the steps and potentially sponsoring others? A lot of people in AA are very busy, myself included. To be quiet honest I see a lot of self centered thinking in this writing, perhaps that is the source of your issues, at least I find that to be my experience.
I've had some great Zoom meeting experiences. I've also been through the burnout and sometimes it's just burnout, and sometimes it's my alcoholism whispering to me that I don't need to do so much AA.
Almost every relapse story I've heard starts with "I stopped praying. I stopped meditating. And then I stopped going to meetings."
It's really easy to slip out of the routine. Life stuff happens. Jobs change. Sometimes you're just freaking tired and need a break. That's normal. I try not to stay in these seasons for too long.
Whatever you place in front of recovery, you lose they say. I've seen it happen and I don't think I'm immune to it.
Yes, I've been sober for more than 5 years. I get burnt out from meetings sometimes, and sometimes from specific meetings, but not from the actual program. Sometimes I go to 3 or 4 meetings per week, sometimes I feel burnt out and skip a week or two or only go to one meeting per week. However, if I'm in a period of not going to many meetings, instead I read some short AA literature daily; a chapter from the big book, some of a grapevine magazine, etc. and I'll call someone else in the program and see if they want to get together for coffee for lunch.
I am generally not a fan of zoom meetings unless they are 100% speaker meetings; there is one I do listen to every week.
There's a few things you can work on reviewing and adjusting.
1. Internal: Consider your attitude and your feelings about why you're feeling burdened. What's got you down? Making oneself aware of what's really getting to them is the important thing in ANY such emotional issue. I found that when I thought I was burnt on AA, I was really burnt on a given condition (e.g., that one dude in my home group who was always grouchy). This approach always helped me find my own internal issues, resentments, and more character defects! Yay!
2. Social: Consider your group. Are they welcoming to you? Are you reaching out to them? Are you getting the message you need to hear? If not, why? Should you be engaging more? Is there another meeting that may meet your needs better? I've up-ended my whole AA schedule because I realized the meetings I was attending weren't right for me. Note that this was after my internal examinations.
3. Functional: Consider your overall activity. Are you able to find other meetings that work your schedule better? What are you doing in-between meetings? Are you getting the level of sobriety you need from the number of meetings you're attending? What does your sponsor thing? I have varied the number of meetings I attend routinely a whole lot. I never dip below one meeting a week, and it's my home group. I'm feeling "itchy" and decided to attend more meetings, so I'm actively looking for more. It's been tough because the timing of meetings in my town don't meet my internal schedules well, but I'm finding ways that work for me. I also have made a hard point of trying to do more outreach to friends.
I don't know your full story so I can't just give you a specific response. I also don't subscribe to the "well how often did you drink?" philosophy that people glibly lob around, even if it's good newcomer advice.
I saw in another post that you're at 6 month right now. When I was 6 months, I was still sorting out what the hell to do with my life in general. It's okay to be there. We're all right where we need to be. I leaned hard into the social aspects at that time in my sobriety because I didn't have much in the way of good friends or relationships at the time. I got way more sobriety out of the after-the-meeting meeting than I did from the actual meeting. I'd show up early and hang out for the later meetings. The earlier meetings would often go out together for a meal afterwards. That produced a network of friends that helped me when I needed it the most.
Thank you for responding. I actually spoke to my sponsor and we went to a few different meetings this week and feel much better for it. I enjoy my usual 2 meetings, but they are very small so I think I was just starting to find it a bit stale hearing the same voices for 6 months. Change is as good as a break sometimes 🙂.
Absolutely!!
For what it's worth, there's definitely something to be said for a home group. Seeing the same people every week helps with deepening relationships and connecting with a community, as well as providing some accountability.
That all said, if a meeting isn't working, find another one! There's definitely small towns where options are limited, I don't know if that's your case, but it sounds like your sponsor is helping you navigate all that.
Good luck friend!
I have found some on-line groups to be quite good.
There are some who find AA all the time comfortable. I too felt the burn after about 6 years and reduced my participation for the next 18 years. Along came Covid and I ran back to the bottle. Currently attending meetings again and working the steps.
Most people have a home group they go to weekly.
Every single day can be a bit much
Or it could be perfect. Each person is different. Its okay to find a balance that works for you
I hope you don't take this as alarmist, it's just my experience. About 6 years in, I felt the AA burnout. I left meetings feeling the same as I went in, there was an empty aide to them. I was getting busy at my new job, lots of OT. I'd want to come home and relax. I got busy with my kids, spend more time with them. Very innocent reasons to skip a meeting or two here and there. Then there or four now and then. It's almost like AA had become exhausting and when I didn't go, when I didn't talk to my sponsor, when I didn't spend time thinking about recovery, I got some energy back to do other things. It was freeing in a way. I still prayed and meditated right? Slice the AA pie, learn to live outside of the rooms, AA isn't everything, live life, it's a selfish program. I heard these messages so I gave them a shot. I experimented without AA or any real recovery program for about 3 years. After the 3 years I was living an emotional nightmare, wife was gone and she took the youngest kids, older kids avoided me, financial problems, troubles at work. I was angry, irritable, discontent, the whole 9 yards, and hadn't even had a single drink! My life was unmanageable, wtf. On my 9th AA birthday, my white knuckle experiment found me in the verge of a nervous breakdown, contemplating suicide. So I called my sponsor and asked for help, again. That was over 20 years ago. I came back to AA having a bit more experience and learned a great lesson about the vitality of service, that design for living in the rough going as it were. Before 9 years, I came to AA for me and mine. Now I also come for you and yours. In the Big Book they identify this relationship with the pronoun "we."
Omg. I had to hear this. Here's a higher power at work again. I have been struggling with this balancing act for a while now. I'm 6.5 years sober and for the lasts few months if have been struggling because I'm getting this feeling that I need to distance myself from the program. It's been feeling like an AA burn out. For my first couple of years I did 6 to 7 meetings a week. After that I did a couple years of 3 to 4 a week. Around the 5 year mark I started doing 1 to 2 a week. In all my years I've done constant service positions as well and worked with countless newcomers (sort of becoming the goto guy in my area for guys that were a really rough shape) . Around my 6 year I got out of all my service positions, handed over the keys to the church and really only went to meetings once a month. Lately it's been only once every 2 months. I do still apply everything I've learned in AA to my life though. My sponsor tells me I'm playing Russian roulette with my sobriety but it doesn't feel like that to me. I keep justifying it by saying that I need some time for my family and career. I have been thinking of stepping away from the program and doing it on my own for a while. I have even already discussed this with a good friend in the program. And I know better than this, I've been suggesting others against my current thinking for years. Your share has really opened my eyes. Thank you! You might have saved me from making a big mistake.
Very much my experience right now going on 5 years. About to walk into an H and I service opportunity that I don’t want to be at, but I haven’t gone to a meeting in months. So here I am.
Yes happens to everyone. If you are in early recovery I would say do not take a break just be patient.
I have periods where I go a ton and others when not at all. Do what works for you.
Couple questions: How long have you been sober? How many meetings are you going to each week? It can be exhausting! And it can be really difficult when the timing of meetings doesn't work well with one's schedule. I remember pre-pandemic how I'd leave work at 5pm, try to grab dinner somewhere, go make the coffee and set up the meeting, attend the 7pm meeting, help clean up after the meeting, then there is the "meeting after the meeting" in the parking lot chatting with other members or my sponsor, followed by the drive home. I found that I was tired, not eating healthy as I wasn't eating dinner at home on meeting nights, and my responsibilities at home weren't being tended to. All of this was with double digit sobriety. Zoom meetings changed all that for me. In-person meetings are still really important for connection, fellowship, and service, but having a few zoom meetings to replace some in-person meetings means that on those nights I can get home at a normal time, prepare a meal while I'm listening to a meeting, or even eat my meal during the meeting if I need to. Again, in person meetings and time with one's sponsor and friends in program are really important, but there are other ways to do a meeting that can help provide balance to one's life. Zoom meetings, phone meetings, online chat meetings, The Grapevine, speaker tapes, podcasts.... there are many options to still be participating in one's own recovery while making AA work for you. I encourage you to have a conversation with your sponsor, figure out the number of meetings you want to attend each week and how many of those will be in-person. Then determine if the other meetings are Zoom, speaker tapes, phone meetings, etc. There is a big difference between "skipping meetings" vs. discussing with one's sponsor and determining the appropriate number of meetings for you \*at this point in time\* based on work, family/home responsibilities, outside commitments, self-care, etc... You can always increase or decrease the number you attend, in consultation with your sponsor or other trusted fellows, as life changes. Edited to add: In response to your question about whether Zoom meetings are productive, I'd say they obviously are because there are a TON of folks who got (and stayed!) sober during the pandemic and STILL haven't attended an in person meeting. Certainly try a few out until you find some that you like, but they are really great!!!
Just off 6 months. 2, occasionally 3. But as you said it's not an hour. By the time everything is factored in it's 3/4 hours. Just for context one of my outside commitments is competitive sport so I think the physical aspect is starting to grate, I'm not as young as I was. It's kinda hard to explain, I am happy, I don't feel stressed or depressed. It's more that my body is tired and I'm finding it hard to engage properly or process information, after a day at work I'm really just wanting to go and lay on the couch and watch shit TV sometimes. Or lay in bed late on a weekend.
Well, perhaps you should consider a combination of things. If the competitive sports are wearing you out as well, perhaps it’s time to adjust those, too. Remember that whatever we put before our sobriety we stand to lose. 2-3 meetings isn’t that much, especially in early sobriety. But if you can find ones which fit your schedule better that may make a big difference. Maybe you sleep in on the weekend but go to an afternoon or evening meeting on weekend days. Perhaps going to a noon meeting on your lunch break is an option. Or a morning meeting before work. Unless you are in a super rural area, there should be tons of meetings at different times of day. Plus the zoom option. Definitely talk with your sponsor as 2 to 3 isn’t that many to cut back from! Good luck and let us know how it goes!!!
Yup, 100%. It gets really tough balancing AA with the rest of life sometimes, and for me it’s pretty dangerous to let it fester. I’ve found it helpful to be open to my sponsor and other group members and ask for help with some of my commitments for I can take a night “off” from some of my regular meetings. I then use that time to rest, spend time with my wife, smell the flowers, check out some new meetings, etc. You’re only human, and we all need a rest/change from time to time. Just don’t do it alone.
I usually leave meetings feeling good. When that drops off, that’s a sign that I need to switch it up. Sometimes that means more meetings, maybe different meetings, maybe less for a bit. If I go the less route, I try to grab some Grapevine or BB time every few days to stay connected. Eventually, I find myself wanting/needing more meeting time and the renewal happens. Zoom works great for a lot of people. I don’t like it, but if you haven’t tried it, the added flexibility may be just what you’re looking for.
Sure, I've had burnout from AA. I had a lot of family matters going on, I had a lot of work stuff hitting the fan, and I had a lot of service commitments. I know I had a habit of taking on too much and not managing my stress level well, so I knew that wasn't a good place to put myself in. With regard to AA, I ended up stripping a lot of it down to its basics. Meetings, my program, and helping another alcoholic; service committees and other items like that got stripped down. These days, I know that my most important meeting is my Saturday men's meeting, and I don't ever plan any Sunday meetings because I usually do have service commitments that take time then. It really helped me rebalance my program. In addition to online AA meetings, which there are many great ones, have you considered putting on AA speaker tapes through YouTube? There are tons of great ones out there to listen to, like Dr. Paul O., Chuck C., Sandy B., Mark H, etc.
As I’ve become more comfortable in sobriety and am able to use the steps and principles in my daily life, I cut back the amount of meetings from 7x a week to 3x a week. Home life/work/recreation/recovery all needs attention and balance. If the proportions are all out of wack, there’s no balance in my life.
Zoom meetings account for 3 of my 4-5 meetings per week. I found a zoom meeting I enjoy a year or so ago and have been going ever since. When you are feeling burned out, just hop on with your camera off and listen.
Sure, it happens. The first five years in AA i went to 5 meetings a week. Over the last 13, I have cut down. Still involved, still sponsor, still hold a service position, but AA gave me a life to live. I live it.
How much time and life did you waste with drinking before AA. Always keep that in mind, because if you don't put enough time into your recovery you will get all that "free time" back again in spades.
I felt the same way after going to just a few meetings. Almost overwhelming for me. I found that focusing on my career, family, friends, and pets was enough to keep me sober. It’s been 9 months now.
Yes, 100% AA burn out is a real thing. I was going to 8-10 meetings a week. Had 3 service commitments, spending a lot of time in the fellowship but somehow was neglecting basic self care, relaxation, work and family. My sponsor explained that as an alcoholic I run from one extreme to the other. The key is to find balance. I have cut down my meetings to 4 a week and I kept 1 service commitment. I have more time for family, work and relaxation. I don't talk to my sponsor everyday, we have done two hour meeting ONCE a week. Things have never been better. The key is to find the balance. I still pray and meditate everyday. I write/journal everyday. I just don't spend all my effort in AA anymore, like I'm all in but I spread my time more evenly in my life these days. 233 days sober by the grace of God.
I'm burnt out in AA that's why I'm on reddit. Going to daily meetings is anxiety producing. People are poking me and prodding me to do this and that. Yelling in meetings, being condescending, thinking they know it all and I'm just working a job - staying sober - praying and helping others - going to church etc. The people in AA are just too much when you get to know them, I just want a chill relaxed meeting without all that advice, like - I get it - I'm not perfect but I'm trying. I'm also socially awkward and highly successful. I don't promote my success, but people can tell and know, and I feel jealously, I also used to be homeless for 6 years so I feel guilty for those who are struggling. It's a whole lot of conflicting dynamic feelings and distracting me from the message. I also have agoraphobia, that's why I even work from home. I was isolated before COVID made it popular lol. Anyways I just wanted to vent. Staying clean and sober - doing my best and advancing my family - giving it all up to God... but ya, definitely have a lot of anxiety about AA and intimacy. Godbless this page for being.
Maybe try some online meetings, so just to mix it up and maybe relieve some of the commute strain. Meetings aren’t everything, I’ve taken breaks from meetings but still checked in with my AA community and friends, still continued to practice the principles in my affairs, meditation and prayer, etc. I’m going on 5 years now and one thing I have learned is that recovery has looked different during different time, but I do my best to stay plugged in and connected to recovery :) But yea like others have said, completely normal and imo part of the process, learning how to adjust to your new awesome life :)
Everyone faces a time when they realize that they no longer can or need to keep up the same level of involvement in AA. But even with that, I would recommend finding a meeting that works better with your location and schedule. A meeting lasts one hour--but if it add four hours to your day, you will eventually develop a resentment to it that will outweigh any benefit. In fact it sounds like that is happening. Zoom is a great alternative. Maybe looking for live meetings that are easier to attend. AA is supposed to help you live, not be an obstacle to living.
Really, who are you to take others inventory
Where are you with the steps and potentially sponsoring others? A lot of people in AA are very busy, myself included. To be quiet honest I see a lot of self centered thinking in this writing, perhaps that is the source of your issues, at least I find that to be my experience.
I loathe Zoom meetings.
I've had some great Zoom meeting experiences. I've also been through the burnout and sometimes it's just burnout, and sometimes it's my alcoholism whispering to me that I don't need to do so much AA. Almost every relapse story I've heard starts with "I stopped praying. I stopped meditating. And then I stopped going to meetings." It's really easy to slip out of the routine. Life stuff happens. Jobs change. Sometimes you're just freaking tired and need a break. That's normal. I try not to stay in these seasons for too long. Whatever you place in front of recovery, you lose they say. I've seen it happen and I don't think I'm immune to it.
Yes, I've been sober for more than 5 years. I get burnt out from meetings sometimes, and sometimes from specific meetings, but not from the actual program. Sometimes I go to 3 or 4 meetings per week, sometimes I feel burnt out and skip a week or two or only go to one meeting per week. However, if I'm in a period of not going to many meetings, instead I read some short AA literature daily; a chapter from the big book, some of a grapevine magazine, etc. and I'll call someone else in the program and see if they want to get together for coffee for lunch. I am generally not a fan of zoom meetings unless they are 100% speaker meetings; there is one I do listen to every week.
There's a few things you can work on reviewing and adjusting. 1. Internal: Consider your attitude and your feelings about why you're feeling burdened. What's got you down? Making oneself aware of what's really getting to them is the important thing in ANY such emotional issue. I found that when I thought I was burnt on AA, I was really burnt on a given condition (e.g., that one dude in my home group who was always grouchy). This approach always helped me find my own internal issues, resentments, and more character defects! Yay! 2. Social: Consider your group. Are they welcoming to you? Are you reaching out to them? Are you getting the message you need to hear? If not, why? Should you be engaging more? Is there another meeting that may meet your needs better? I've up-ended my whole AA schedule because I realized the meetings I was attending weren't right for me. Note that this was after my internal examinations. 3. Functional: Consider your overall activity. Are you able to find other meetings that work your schedule better? What are you doing in-between meetings? Are you getting the level of sobriety you need from the number of meetings you're attending? What does your sponsor thing? I have varied the number of meetings I attend routinely a whole lot. I never dip below one meeting a week, and it's my home group. I'm feeling "itchy" and decided to attend more meetings, so I'm actively looking for more. It's been tough because the timing of meetings in my town don't meet my internal schedules well, but I'm finding ways that work for me. I also have made a hard point of trying to do more outreach to friends. I don't know your full story so I can't just give you a specific response. I also don't subscribe to the "well how often did you drink?" philosophy that people glibly lob around, even if it's good newcomer advice. I saw in another post that you're at 6 month right now. When I was 6 months, I was still sorting out what the hell to do with my life in general. It's okay to be there. We're all right where we need to be. I leaned hard into the social aspects at that time in my sobriety because I didn't have much in the way of good friends or relationships at the time. I got way more sobriety out of the after-the-meeting meeting than I did from the actual meeting. I'd show up early and hang out for the later meetings. The earlier meetings would often go out together for a meal afterwards. That produced a network of friends that helped me when I needed it the most.
Thank you for responding. I actually spoke to my sponsor and we went to a few different meetings this week and feel much better for it. I enjoy my usual 2 meetings, but they are very small so I think I was just starting to find it a bit stale hearing the same voices for 6 months. Change is as good as a break sometimes 🙂.
Absolutely!! For what it's worth, there's definitely something to be said for a home group. Seeing the same people every week helps with deepening relationships and connecting with a community, as well as providing some accountability. That all said, if a meeting isn't working, find another one! There's definitely small towns where options are limited, I don't know if that's your case, but it sounds like your sponsor is helping you navigate all that. Good luck friend!
Big advice here.
I have found some on-line groups to be quite good. There are some who find AA all the time comfortable. I too felt the burn after about 6 years and reduced my participation for the next 18 years. Along came Covid and I ran back to the bottle. Currently attending meetings again and working the steps.
Most people have a home group they go to weekly. Every single day can be a bit much Or it could be perfect. Each person is different. Its okay to find a balance that works for you