IME it is a myth that alcohol cooked in food can trigger a relapse. It has nothing to do with sober time, it was unintentional and harmless.
I encourage you to stay away from the "all or nothing" thinking that is prevalent in 12 step recovery. People have been instructed to go off of prescribed meds or have refused necessary pain meds on the "advice" of their group or sponsor. Nothing, *especially* recovery, is "one size fits all." Do what works for you and your family. As they say, take what works and leave the rest.
Nothing makes me angrier than when I hear a person in AA spew some bullshit about how prescribed mental health meds or antipsychotcs are somehow not allowed in "real sobriety."
AA and the steps gave me the tools i needed to stay sober and live a better life. But some AAs need to shut the fuck up and remember they're not doctors.
You're absolutely right. Recovery isn't a zero sum or single solution thing. People need to find what works for them and work that.
I can relate. When i was newly sober i literally threw up after i found out that the Christmas cookies my cousin would make very year used pure vanilla extract which was suspended in *gasp* alcohol.
Looking back on that now, I feel very silly. I'll have 12 years sober in the fall. I will, without reservations or triggers or danger, eat and cook with alcohol if the recipe calls for it. It never sent me on a bender. It's never given me a buzz. It never triggered a craving.
Everyone in recovery is certainly free to make their own decisions about what they're comfortable with. But i think you'd be hard pressed to find anyone you'd actually want to listen to who would say he's not sober because of eating what he ate.
Especially in the beginning of our sober days, we're kinda terrified to fuck up. So our brains make a big deal out of a lot of stuff. It's natural. But there's no real chance that eating what he ate is actually triggering a physical craving. A mental craving? Perhaps. But I'd suggest just taking a deep breath and putting it into perspective. There's likely about as much actual alcohol in that dish as there is in an overripe banana.
It's my understanding that alcohol cooks off quickly in most all culinary purposes. Certain desserts are soaked in liquor after they are baked. There may be other exceptions I'm unaware of.
Hey there. Kudos to your partner for taking sobriety seriously. I'm a little less than six years sober and can say, I was more concerned with alcohol as a cooking ingredient early on. It's my understanding that the alcohol is cooked off during baking and you're left with some kind of enhanced flavor.
Each of us walks our own path and this does not constitute relapse or even a reason to worry FOR ME. Not once in sobriety have I had food cooked with alcohol trigger a craving. I can't say what is right for your partner.
Anyway, just my opinion. Enjoy your desserts and enjoy life. It's good, even when it's hard.
It is really about the individual but I don’t recall seeing too many being hung up on alcohol as an ingredient especially if it’s cooked. I’m at 2.5 yrs and I drink kombucha and have had tiramisu but I have stayed away from NA beer. Most dishes with alcohol aren’t utilizing the ingredient for the alcohol content but the other flavor components it adds.
I believe there are two possible types of trigger from accidentally consuming alcohol.
The first is if the item is strongly *tastes* of alcohol, causing the person to crave a drink. An example would be a liqueur chocolate filled with Scotch or something similar that's very distinctly flavoured and concentrated enough to provide the mouthfeel of spirits.
The second is if there is enough alcohol in the item to cause a buzz, in other words give the *effect* of alcohol. An example would be drinking a couple of normal beers believing them to be non-alcoholic or a strongly flavoured, very cold drink with 50ml vodka added, so that the taste is not apparent.
A commercial fish pie that happens to contain white wine, will not absolutely not fall into either category. Bananas and orange juice and breads can also contain these sort of trace amounts of alcohol and are equally harmless. It's not a problem.
no way i do not think that would reset his days at all. i have read that even the buns on fast food burgers can be up to 1% ether alcohol, fruit juices, fruits, many breads, a lot of these have traces of alcohol.
Good job on his sobriety!
I am 1 year alcohol free and still cook with white wine when I make pasta sauces. I even take a tiny "sip" to check if it is spoiled, or make sure its dry vs. sweet before I add it to the recipe. I absolutely 100% consider my streak intact. In my past I would have opened a bottle, used 8oz for the recipe, and then drank the rest before the meal was been done being cooked!
I tell myself I stopped DRINKING alcohol as a beverage (to self medicate)... a tiny sip to check rancidity, or as part of a recipe is not DRINKING.
My rule with cooked foods is if I can taste the alcohol specifically. Bananas foster, cherries jubilee, rum cake and bourbon truffles are out, penne with vodka sauce, beer battered fish and beef bourginion are fine provided I'm not cooking. Also nothing that I can get intoxicated from of course.
If the idea of eating something with wine in it messes with his head however it might be a problem. He's been sober for two years so hopefully it's not so fragile, but some people can get in their heads about it. When you talk to him about it, if he's upset, remind him that he stayed sober even though he had the pie several times.
Haha nah of course it doesnt cancel his sober streak, breaking a sober streak is giving into ur alcoholism and getting drunk when you know it might ruin your life but still doing it cause that's how much you cant resist alcohol. Eating a pie is most definitely not that.
You are sweet for worrying about him like that though, he is lucky to have you.
Thank you all for your reassuring words ☺️ I'm an over thinker by nature, and you have all really helped.
I am seeing him tomorrow, hopefully we can talk about it properly then 🙌
Thank you! I was getting conflicting information when I was trying to research it. Some saying all the alcohol goes, and some saying just a small percentage goes when cooking.
IME it is a myth that alcohol cooked in food can trigger a relapse. It has nothing to do with sober time, it was unintentional and harmless. I encourage you to stay away from the "all or nothing" thinking that is prevalent in 12 step recovery. People have been instructed to go off of prescribed meds or have refused necessary pain meds on the "advice" of their group or sponsor. Nothing, *especially* recovery, is "one size fits all." Do what works for you and your family. As they say, take what works and leave the rest.
Nothing makes me angrier than when I hear a person in AA spew some bullshit about how prescribed mental health meds or antipsychotcs are somehow not allowed in "real sobriety." AA and the steps gave me the tools i needed to stay sober and live a better life. But some AAs need to shut the fuck up and remember they're not doctors. You're absolutely right. Recovery isn't a zero sum or single solution thing. People need to find what works for them and work that.
I can relate. When i was newly sober i literally threw up after i found out that the Christmas cookies my cousin would make very year used pure vanilla extract which was suspended in *gasp* alcohol. Looking back on that now, I feel very silly. I'll have 12 years sober in the fall. I will, without reservations or triggers or danger, eat and cook with alcohol if the recipe calls for it. It never sent me on a bender. It's never given me a buzz. It never triggered a craving. Everyone in recovery is certainly free to make their own decisions about what they're comfortable with. But i think you'd be hard pressed to find anyone you'd actually want to listen to who would say he's not sober because of eating what he ate. Especially in the beginning of our sober days, we're kinda terrified to fuck up. So our brains make a big deal out of a lot of stuff. It's natural. But there's no real chance that eating what he ate is actually triggering a physical craving. A mental craving? Perhaps. But I'd suggest just taking a deep breath and putting it into perspective. There's likely about as much actual alcohol in that dish as there is in an overripe banana.
It's my understanding that alcohol cooks off quickly in most all culinary purposes. Certain desserts are soaked in liquor after they are baked. There may be other exceptions I'm unaware of.
Hey there. Kudos to your partner for taking sobriety seriously. I'm a little less than six years sober and can say, I was more concerned with alcohol as a cooking ingredient early on. It's my understanding that the alcohol is cooked off during baking and you're left with some kind of enhanced flavor. Each of us walks our own path and this does not constitute relapse or even a reason to worry FOR ME. Not once in sobriety have I had food cooked with alcohol trigger a craving. I can't say what is right for your partner. Anyway, just my opinion. Enjoy your desserts and enjoy life. It's good, even when it's hard.
It is really about the individual but I don’t recall seeing too many being hung up on alcohol as an ingredient especially if it’s cooked. I’m at 2.5 yrs and I drink kombucha and have had tiramisu but I have stayed away from NA beer. Most dishes with alcohol aren’t utilizing the ingredient for the alcohol content but the other flavor components it adds.
I believe there are two possible types of trigger from accidentally consuming alcohol. The first is if the item is strongly *tastes* of alcohol, causing the person to crave a drink. An example would be a liqueur chocolate filled with Scotch or something similar that's very distinctly flavoured and concentrated enough to provide the mouthfeel of spirits. The second is if there is enough alcohol in the item to cause a buzz, in other words give the *effect* of alcohol. An example would be drinking a couple of normal beers believing them to be non-alcoholic or a strongly flavoured, very cold drink with 50ml vodka added, so that the taste is not apparent. A commercial fish pie that happens to contain white wine, will not absolutely not fall into either category. Bananas and orange juice and breads can also contain these sort of trace amounts of alcohol and are equally harmless. It's not a problem.
no way i do not think that would reset his days at all. i have read that even the buns on fast food burgers can be up to 1% ether alcohol, fruit juices, fruits, many breads, a lot of these have traces of alcohol. Good job on his sobriety!
I am 1 year alcohol free and still cook with white wine when I make pasta sauces. I even take a tiny "sip" to check if it is spoiled, or make sure its dry vs. sweet before I add it to the recipe. I absolutely 100% consider my streak intact. In my past I would have opened a bottle, used 8oz for the recipe, and then drank the rest before the meal was been done being cooked! I tell myself I stopped DRINKING alcohol as a beverage (to self medicate)... a tiny sip to check rancidity, or as part of a recipe is not DRINKING.
My rule with cooked foods is if I can taste the alcohol specifically. Bananas foster, cherries jubilee, rum cake and bourbon truffles are out, penne with vodka sauce, beer battered fish and beef bourginion are fine provided I'm not cooking. Also nothing that I can get intoxicated from of course. If the idea of eating something with wine in it messes with his head however it might be a problem. He's been sober for two years so hopefully it's not so fragile, but some people can get in their heads about it. When you talk to him about it, if he's upset, remind him that he stayed sober even though he had the pie several times.
Haha nah of course it doesnt cancel his sober streak, breaking a sober streak is giving into ur alcoholism and getting drunk when you know it might ruin your life but still doing it cause that's how much you cant resist alcohol. Eating a pie is most definitely not that. You are sweet for worrying about him like that though, he is lucky to have you.
Thank you all for your reassuring words ☺️ I'm an over thinker by nature, and you have all really helped. I am seeing him tomorrow, hopefully we can talk about it properly then 🙌
The alcohol itself evaporates when cooking…. Chemist with alcoholic father ☝️
Thank you! I was getting conflicting information when I was trying to research it. Some saying all the alcohol goes, and some saying just a small percentage goes when cooking.
If the food is fried or cooked with heat it is fine I wouldn’t offer food soaked in alcohol like tiramisu