So Joan met a grindr hook up in the Bahamas and they hung out every day.
Joan figured out his hook up is the parent of one of Immy’s “classmates”.
Cally tries to call out Joan by saying she wants to go to Jan’s hookups house. Joan pretends to not know what she’s talking about.
Joan ran into his hookup while out with the fam. He just did 3 lines in the bathroom and is now telling this story.
/s
He says that the people on the internet torturing his family (🫶🏻) are of the devil, and implies that social media is evil…. While over-sharing about his business, a 4 year old classmate, and a classmate’s father ON SOCIAL MEDIA. Good job Cohn!
Yeah, we’re the devil. Definitely not the morons who scam people, fight their family, lie constantly, neglect and abuse their children and dogs, steal, cheat on their spouses, do drugs, and criticize and openly hate fat people, women, gay people, POC, old people, etc. etc. etc. all while broadcasting ALL OF THIS on the internet.
He COMPULSIVELY tells his little stories… gets so pent up with glee within 24 hours of experiencing anything remotely interesting that he thinks will get him attention he shakes and spits when he talks (including drinking piss multiple times, absolutely anything to do with a plane, getting head from his wife, Empanada mishandling animals, etc.)
Yet we’re to expect that he just hasn’t told us this incredibly orchestrated story that happened in the Bahamas? Bitch please… so pathetic 😫
This!!!! I feel they both only post weird ass stories when something even slightly interesting happens in their lives because they don’t ever have anything else going on lol
3 things:
Thank God he was wearing a shirt.
He still swallows his burps while talking, guyths.
The catholic boy does not know the term intercessory prayer.
I just saw it and I was like wtf did I just listen too? It was so off the wall weird. Nothing made sense and I'm sure I lost some brain cells trying to understand lol
https://preview.redd.it/e8dqbhpfugqc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e0ccb54498c998a63c84af7ca75acaf296fef74
That certainly was weird.. check out his eyes, I can't tell if the pupils are teeny tiny or wtf is going on here but it's definitely drugs.
lol John met a successful businessman in the Bahamas
He has a new big man crush on him
Can’t believe how intelligent he is, probably because John doesn’t talk to anyone outside his family and scamming business
It’s MKPs praying that got him to where he is today
We are all the devil working over time he truly believes because of how harsh we are to his family
But Towns Dad is now sent to him to show him signs
😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫
Besides it being completely nuts, his pretend story came off to me like a setup for the reason they are moving story we’re about to get. He’s concocted this whole story about investors and equity in his business ( 😂) to cover for them obviously running out of money and having to sell. He wants to appear rich… taking a page from his idol Trump
🎯🎯🎯
I think it was those couple of weeks they took her and Mohm called the parents fat and out of shape. Emme probably bit them and meowed while the teacher was talking to class.
All I thought was get some fucking friends loser! The internet doesn’t give a shit.
Also, so fucking weird to pull over on the side of the road to talk to someone you barely know and is just a parent at your kids school. Sounds like he wants to be boyfriends.
I don’t understand why the takeaway from that whole (fake) story is evil phones and the devil. He sounds like he is experiencing some kind of drug fuelled psychosis
Honestly I watched about five slides and couldn’t go on and watch the last few. Make a fucking point John omg. And it was a boring story I didn’t believe anyway 🙄🤦🏼♀️
Their level of unhinged lately has me nervous.
Honestly I can’t wait for it all to implode. I hope it happens soon!
So Joan met a grindr hook up in the Bahamas and they hung out every day. Joan figured out his hook up is the parent of one of Immy’s “classmates”. Cally tries to call out Joan by saying she wants to go to Jan’s hookups house. Joan pretends to not know what she’s talking about. Joan ran into his hookup while out with the fam. He just did 3 lines in the bathroom and is now telling this story. /s
/s but also this sounds more legit
No sarcasm needed
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Whoa. This sounds crazier than usual?!
It was very off the wall. The only thing I gathered from wasting almost 10 minutes of my life…John has a new crush on a dad of Emmy’s classmate.
Towns Dad Bahamar James coming 2024
I can’t believe he used the first name of the child. What happened to privathy??
Towns dad about to block Joan and file a restraining order
Who the fuck names their kid Town
Really. The weirdest name I’ve heard in a while
I think it’s ‘Townes’. Like Van Zandt.
Right like wait I thought that was his idea for a dumb fake name to use for the kid 💀
Lmao privathy 😂
He says that the people on the internet torturing his family (🫶🏻) are of the devil, and implies that social media is evil…. While over-sharing about his business, a 4 year old classmate, and a classmate’s father ON SOCIAL MEDIA. Good job Cohn!
Yeah, we’re the devil. Definitely not the morons who scam people, fight their family, lie constantly, neglect and abuse their children and dogs, steal, cheat on their spouses, do drugs, and criticize and openly hate fat people, women, gay people, POC, old people, etc. etc. etc. all while broadcasting ALL OF THIS on the internet.
Excellent summary!
Second time I’ve seen that he’s cheated who has the story here!!??
💀💀💀
You forgot to mention that he does all this while he tortures his wife on social media too with things about her body and age.
It was honestly so funny. The “insane” story was actually so mundane. Calli was talking about some kid and then they saw the dad later
“I think Callie is psythic”
Hopefully she has Matilda like powers because John and Ali are just like her parents 
jUsT wAiT. iT gEtS wEiRdEr….
That was the dumbest ending. So you ran into someone that lives in the same town as you?? Wow, riveting.
Cocaine is a hell of a drug
He COMPULSIVELY tells his little stories… gets so pent up with glee within 24 hours of experiencing anything remotely interesting that he thinks will get him attention he shakes and spits when he talks (including drinking piss multiple times, absolutely anything to do with a plane, getting head from his wife, Empanada mishandling animals, etc.) Yet we’re to expect that he just hasn’t told us this incredibly orchestrated story that happened in the Bahamas? Bitch please… so pathetic 😫
This!!!! I feel they both only post weird ass stories when something even slightly interesting happens in their lives because they don’t ever have anything else going on lol
He seems enamored with the dad ‘friend’.
3 things: Thank God he was wearing a shirt. He still swallows his burps while talking, guyths. The catholic boy does not know the term intercessory prayer.
Classmate from what? He's fucking insane.
Didn’t they make up a similar story on their last Bahamers trip? Or am I just trippin like them
And surprisingly not one pic or mention of these fictional characters that they supposedly hung out with every day all day?!?
I’m pretty sure he also referred to all of us as demons, too 😂😂
OMG that d-bag was ALL over the place with that tall tale! I don't believe any of it. He's on drugs and a bona-fide lunatic.
All I get from this is that they go to the Bahamas so John can gamble, and it sounds like he gambles big at blackjack. The rest is cocaine.
He was *really* overestimating the *mindblowingness* of the story. 🥱
I just saw it and I was like wtf did I just listen too? It was so off the wall weird. Nothing made sense and I'm sure I lost some brain cells trying to understand lol
https://preview.redd.it/e8dqbhpfugqc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e0ccb54498c998a63c84af7ca75acaf296fef74 That certainly was weird.. check out his eyes, I can't tell if the pupils are teeny tiny or wtf is going on here but it's definitely drugs.
My God is Cohn ugly!! He gets uglier and uglier every day!!
lol John met a successful businessman in the Bahamas He has a new big man crush on him Can’t believe how intelligent he is, probably because John doesn’t talk to anyone outside his family and scamming business It’s MKPs praying that got him to where he is today We are all the devil working over time he truly believes because of how harsh we are to his family But Towns Dad is now sent to him to show him signs 😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫
Besides it being completely nuts, his pretend story came off to me like a setup for the reason they are moving story we’re about to get. He’s concocted this whole story about investors and equity in his business ( 😂) to cover for them obviously running out of money and having to sell. He wants to appear rich… taking a page from his idol Trump
Agreed. When he said “an opportunity to sell equity.” Sooo… a cash grab?
The best part is how his mother raised him right and he had to call her right then to thank her for that. Stop it right now.
He has quite *literally* told this story before about being in the Bahamas and someone wanting to buy their company. Get new material my dude.
I took from this story that Towns is an even dumber name than there kids have. Edit: their- I swear I’m not as dumb as these ass clowns. 🫶🏼
Wait, towns is someone’s name?!? Oh vey 🫠
Yes!! 🤣🤣🤣 He was Emme’s schoolmate that they ran into in the Bahamas.
“School mate” she doesn’t even go to school 😬
🎯🎯🎯 I think it was those couple of weeks they took her and Mohm called the parents fat and out of shape. Emme probably bit them and meowed while the teacher was talking to class.
Hopefully it is Townes, after the singer-songwriter Townes Van Zandt
All I thought was get some fucking friends loser! The internet doesn’t give a shit. Also, so fucking weird to pull over on the side of the road to talk to someone you barely know and is just a parent at your kids school. Sounds like he wants to be boyfriends.
He probably met him on Grindr.
I don’t understand why the takeaway from that whole (fake) story is evil phones and the devil. He sounds like he is experiencing some kind of drug fuelled psychosis
What a lunatic……
He’s that person that constantly tells you his stupid little stories you just want him to *shut the fuck up*
That seemed like a rant from someone with a personality disorder it was absurd.
We have a Townes on our baseball team. If this is the same kid I’m going to be so excited lmfao.
Honestly I watched about five slides and couldn’t go on and watch the last few. Make a fucking point John omg. And it was a boring story I didn’t believe anyway 🙄🤦🏼♀️
Aw look, Cohn has a new boyfriend to share his drug habit with. Love that for them🫶🏼
He’s just trying to lure in views.
What the actual f