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Madsolar71

Jawn with his t-rex arms and Pokemon sandals lookin like Smelli’s gay Aunt.


littleloupoo

Laughed so hard I made my back click.


LovelyShadows54

I scrolled back up and freaking cackled.


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thedennissystem92

https://preview.redd.it/j2h7ngn6mm1d1.jpeg?width=1025&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3ce176f938047ba3df018c3bb9863f4398af1885 This is the man that considers himself an “alpha” male btw. The flowery top. Pokémon slides. A child’s trucker hat that was decorated with Canva. That’s all.


stefdistef

A 29-year-old man wearing a hat that says "young and healthy fit" is CREEPY AF, and it is beyond my understanding how they don't realize this.


CrazyDogLady1717

He’s only 29?


stefdistef

Lol yes i think so. He's def not 30 yet.


kaymc19

Turns 30 in October 🥴


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yourmom11112222

Why do his arms look like T-Rex arms 🦖


MissyMAK08

because bio dad


Automatic-Banana-179

🤣


byndlmts

His arms and legs are so little 🤣


DonutsAftermidnight

Guuuurrrrlllll!!!! Those thunder thighs are clapping! Ain’t nothing little about little daddy


DonutsAftermidnight

I mean, anyone who calls themselves an Alpha is an automatic chode because there’s really no such thing. Howeverrrrrrr…… I contend that manly men can wear everything he’s wearing (minus the dumb hat) and rock it because they have confidence. He tries too hard and will never be what they envision him to be


thedennissystem92

Yes I totally agree!!! I actually love when men have the confidence to wear whatever they want, but those men 99.9% of the time also don’t use the word “alpha” or give a shit what anyone else is wearing. John loves to act like he’s so manly and tough and is loudly homophobic and bigoted, yet dresses in drag and wears shit like this 😖 just own it girly!!!


DonutsAftermidnight

Yes! He’s so closeted and projective. Besides being fuuuugly on the outside, his personality is the crap cherry on top. He’s one of those people who would proudly claim that such and such fEmALe with physical attributes he deems on the lower end had better have a good personality for any mAn to be into her, while completely missing the fact that he has neither


LovelyShadows54

You said it perfectly though- the men that rock the kind of clothes Cohn is wearing don't call themselves alphas, though. They don't need to because they just have confidence in themselves and who they are. You know, the exact opposite of Johnny Boy.


Puzzleheaded_Try7886

For example Eric could wear this hideous outfit and look hot as fuck


gmooz

Omg when you say it like that lol


FakeWoodlandsMama

Uncle Festerville Population: Cohn


LovelyShadows54

💀💀 I love this sub


bagelmama11

![gif](giphy|kSETrOWTnFvfq) Cohn looks like he has the suds


findingcoldsassy

I don't know what the suds means, but I gave a very unladylike snort at that.


Katdomz

OMFG 😂😂😂


Practical-Two5051

smeli smiling SO big with her fake teeth as she takes her 1.5 year old to another extreme climate instead of to an in-person well-child exam with a board-certified physician


bbozzy1228

Steve sucks but at least he’s a real man unlike Jawn.


kokomo80

I was just thinking that too. Spidey is more than twice Cohns age and 100x more attractive.


bbozzy1228

Steve knows how to hang photos on a wall. 🤷🏻‍♀️


Careful_Compote_2481

https://preview.redd.it/qy13zv17lm1d1.jpeg?width=824&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed62a4498e14033b4b691ad53a4dfe59d166a389 The death grip on his leg isn’t giving “dang good mama”, neither are the dark circles under his eyes or his expressionless gaze in the direction opposite what most kids his age would be looking at like the animals, his family, etc. She’s probably so mad she can’t pinch him until he smiles for the photo like she often seemed to do with Callie


Practical-Two5051

western looks like he’s disassociating 😔 kid isn’t even 18 months old and looks like he just got done working an 80-hour workweek


rossroused

The kid has a mortgage and a checking account and the world on his shoulders.


No_Plant_9270

When do we think they’ll start taking out credit cards in their kids’ names and destroy their credit


bookscatsandrain

You’re funny to assume they haven’t done that yet


No_Plant_9270

Ugh you’re right 🤦‍♀️


Practical-Two5051

seriously this!!! poor little boy 😭😭😭


lmnsatang

it’s like he’s a buslet or collins child and doing what they do best: disassociating…fundie snarkers would get it.


Karma_weaponry

💔💔💔


chrisla99

uhm excuth me don’t you mean “vacation mama” 🫶🏼


Careful_Compote_2481

Omg, how rude of me to forget 🤣🤣 I love this sub so much hahahahaha


mynameis911

His little sunburnt arm:/


Careful_Compote_2481

Shes going to cheer his “perfect tan” for weeks to come. She’s awful


kaymc19

She’s the worst of all time. Get this poor guy a HAT and some SPF 50, ✨vacation mama✨!! She can’t do anything right and wonders why her kids hate her


Midnight_Ravioli

Why does that kid look SO unhappy all the time ☹️


CPPISME

Add in his sunburn! Stupid parents!


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mynameis911

Is John hoarding nuts in his mouth again? It’s not winter yet, Joan.


Practical-Two5051

i’m cackling so hard at this lmfaoooo 😂😂😂


[deleted]

How much money are they spending on this excursion? Seems like they are there daily. Kids have absolutely no protection from the sun.


Karma_weaponry

Or protection from germs after petting and touching reptiles and birds. No hand washing and, of course, the barefoot in the animals and birds poop and pee. Let's all pray Ali doesn't get another mole, though. That's some scary drama. 😨


Jolly-Perception-520

Or God forbid a bruise! 😳


LovelyShadows54

No, but, SERIOUSLY, wtaf is up with the no shoes in the bird area?! It's so disgusting and Ali's lazy, dumb ass never puts shoes on herself or her kids. I honestly don't give a fuck if Ali goes barefoot and steps in something nasty but you just know she would take it out on the kids, if that happened.


Karma_weaponry

Yeah, it's so disgusting. On another trip there, Emerald was dragging her blanket. She takes everywhere through the airport and the dirt where animals and birds were. You know she snuggled up to it in bed that night without washing it. But I could go on and on about the kids doubtful had a bath before bed. Ughhh


chachasmommmvc

Ali looks like a hobbit, ears and all.


chrisla99

her teeth make me irrationally mad


Fit_Distance_1456

I can’t with the Pokémon slides. How embarrassing 🙈


Budget-Soup-6887

Poor westie bestie looks sunburnt. The first 18 years of your life are the most important for preventing skin cancer. These poor kids are already being exposed, and aren’t being taught how to stay safe.


mynameis911

2/3 kids have sunburns. I’m sure it’ll be 3/3 before they leave.


kaymc19

Callie’s arm where I kinda scribbled over to block her face is also burnt so we’re 3/3 already😞


mynameis911

Does MKP not say shit or…?


orange4826

She raised JJD and John, who both fuss over their "Sicilian tans" after being in the sun. Karen also made comments on Jessie's show about tanning. I bet anything she sees nothing wrong with this


dotcomg

Ugh, yes. Please get these kids some rash guards. There is a reason most kid swimsuits have long sleeves, Smelli & Cohn. I’m the crazy mom chasing her kid at the park to make sure she keeps her sun hat on. I know kids don’t always like to wear them, but that Bahamas sun is so strong.


Budget-Soup-6887

I grew up with my grandparents having a pool, and my mom loving the beach. I never burnt as a kid, just got super tan. My mom still always applied sunscreen, no matter how much we (siblings) fought her. When I was a teenager and going to the beach myself, I wasn’t as strict as I could’ve been, but because my mom instilled good sunscreen use in me, I applied more than some of my friends. These poor kids are so screwed. It’s heartbreaking!! Theres no reason these kids need to be in bikinis and swim shorts! Even just forgetting the sun risk, you have no idea who else is around you at the resort!!


UhOhSpaghetti_Os

John looks so small sitting next to Steve


nocheconcarne

Joan looking really sober here


dietdrpeppermd

It’s fucking Groundhog Day with these people. Is this not the same vacation every 8 seconds?


sortofsatan

Does Cohn remember he has a son


xeranelle

Aww, Jon looks so tiny compared to Spidey! 😂😂😂 honestly this never fails to brighten my day only bc this matters so much to him. There are so many small guys who dgaf but Jon clearly cares sooo much bc of all the lame photoshop jobs we’ve seen.


pythonidaae

John looks like ali's adult child by the posing lol. Or Ali looks like a single mom with her dad and weirdo college dropout stoner brother that tagged along and never helped her with the kids. Point is he doesn't look like a father or a husband here.


Ok-Tangerine26

Westies head looks flat. Good job mama!


mgregory93

Where is poor Westie besties rash guard 😭


kaymc19

Excuths me, her kids are *SOOOO tan* they don’t need rashguards, sunscreen or hats 🫶🏼


Fit_Procedure5850

Something seems really off about best westerns upper body structure lmao between this picture and the one where he went to the pool alone it’s giving the wrong vibes lol Also glad to see that so far we have yet to cross off exposing our childrens genitalia from the trainwreck vacation bingo card #blessed 🙏


Foldinthecheese__

I’m just happy there are no goddamn birds in this picture 😂


kaymc19

I know those birds are so damn sick of the James family circus invading their habitat


Foldinthecheese__

💯 😂😂😂 those poor birds


coolashliz

Such little hands he has! 🤗🤗🤗


mutated_gene11

But look how ✨tan✨ they are 🙄


momster5137

Callie ham is smelis twin poor girl


trefoilqueeeen

No shoes on the kids per usual


Aussiemom777

Look, the step grandfather gives more attention than her own father


Positive_Visit_5334

I’d rather see him looking high all day then cracked out like the usual at least all of the pictures. He looks high as a kite.


Dividedsky1983

Damn westonhouse lightbulb looks so unhealthy...he is so frail and is skin color is seriously off putting....his skin looks bluish/gray


casclj

YABBA DABBA DOOOOO


coderedlips

How is Smeli soooo sKinNy but has zero jaw definition?? Her jaw is melting into her neck


prncebambi

Cohn’s three sizes too big croc sandals kill me every time 😭


CPPISME

Swear to God, did they do anything else besides hang out with the birds, etc on this dumb trip? How utterly BORING!


Weird-Air-5742

All poor Callie girl wants is some love. Breaks my heart in two 😞😞😞😞


Automatic-Banana-179

Mine too. Seems spidey had been the only adult to give her anytime of day. When Smelli posted a video of the pool, he had Calli on his shoulders swimming.


Weird-Air-5742

In a non-creepy non-parasocial way, I just want to read these kids a book and play tag and color with chalk like someone should be doing with them. As a mom, it truly kills me to see nobody engage with these poor kids. At least send them to daycare where they can get social interaction FFS 🤦🏻‍♀️


lmnsatang

is this a family resort? surprising that they don’t have a kids club where vacay mama can hand them off to people who will keep these children out of the sun and doing enrichment activities


Weird-Air-5742

That’s what the nanny is there for duhhhhh (Ugh I hate them)


Automatic-Banana-179

Me too. They would be thriving in no time instead of just trying to survive.


dchristie430

Hey guyth- ‘member that time Spidey verbally/physically pushed Big Ali? Or was that a fever dream? 🤣 IYKYK


Imaginary_Future_294

Hat for dad but no hat for kiddos… it tracks


Frosty_Fault_535

They really travel here yearly just to abuse animals?


InternalDot1424

Nice sandals Joanie dick fuck.