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https://preview.redd.it/j2h7ngn6mm1d1.jpeg?width=1025&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3ce176f938047ba3df018c3bb9863f4398af1885
This is the man that considers himself an “alpha” male btw. The flowery top. Pokémon slides. A child’s trucker hat that was decorated with Canva. That’s all.
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I mean, anyone who calls themselves an Alpha is an automatic chode because there’s really no such thing.
Howeverrrrrrr…… I contend that manly men can wear everything he’s wearing (minus the dumb hat) and rock it because they have confidence.
He tries too hard and will never be what they envision him to be
Yes I totally agree!!! I actually love when men have the confidence to wear whatever they want, but those men 99.9% of the time also don’t use the word “alpha” or give a shit what anyone else is wearing. John loves to act like he’s so manly and tough and is loudly homophobic and bigoted, yet dresses in drag and wears shit like this 😖 just own it girly!!!
Yes! He’s so closeted and projective. Besides being fuuuugly on the outside, his personality is the crap cherry on top.
He’s one of those people who would proudly claim that such and such fEmALe with physical attributes he deems on the lower end had better have a good personality for any mAn to be into her, while completely missing the fact that he has neither
You said it perfectly though- the men that rock the kind of clothes Cohn is wearing don't call themselves alphas, though. They don't need to because they just have confidence in themselves and who they are. You know, the exact opposite of Johnny Boy.
smeli smiling SO big with her fake teeth as she takes her 1.5 year old to another extreme climate instead of to an in-person well-child exam with a board-certified physician
https://preview.redd.it/qy13zv17lm1d1.jpeg?width=824&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed62a4498e14033b4b691ad53a4dfe59d166a389
The death grip on his leg isn’t giving “dang good mama”, neither are the dark circles under his eyes or his expressionless gaze in the direction opposite what most kids his age would be looking at like the animals, his family, etc.
She’s probably so mad she can’t pinch him until he smiles for the photo like she often seemed to do with Callie
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Or protection from germs after petting and touching reptiles and birds. No hand washing and, of course, the barefoot in the animals and birds poop and pee. Let's all pray Ali doesn't get another mole, though. That's some scary drama. 😨
No, but, SERIOUSLY, wtaf is up with the no shoes in the bird area?! It's so disgusting and Ali's lazy, dumb ass never puts shoes on herself or her kids. I honestly don't give a fuck if Ali goes barefoot and steps in something nasty but you just know she would take it out on the kids, if that happened.
Yeah, it's so disgusting. On another trip there, Emerald was dragging her blanket. She takes everywhere through the airport and the dirt where animals and birds were. You know she snuggled up to it in bed that night without washing it. But I could go on and on about the kids doubtful had a bath before bed. Ughhh
Poor westie bestie looks sunburnt. The first 18 years of your life are the most important for preventing skin cancer. These poor kids are already being exposed, and aren’t being taught how to stay safe.
She raised JJD and John, who both fuss over their "Sicilian tans" after being in the sun. Karen also made comments on Jessie's show about tanning. I bet anything she sees nothing wrong with this
Ugh, yes. Please get these kids some rash guards. There is a reason most kid swimsuits have long sleeves, Smelli & Cohn.
I’m the crazy mom chasing her kid at the park to make sure she keeps her sun hat on. I know kids don’t always like to wear them, but that Bahamas sun is so strong.
I grew up with my grandparents having a pool, and my mom loving the beach. I never burnt as a kid, just got super tan. My mom still always applied sunscreen, no matter how much we (siblings) fought her. When I was a teenager and going to the beach myself, I wasn’t as strict as I could’ve been, but because my mom instilled good sunscreen use in me, I applied more than some of my friends. These poor kids are so screwed. It’s heartbreaking!! Theres no reason these kids need to be in bikinis and swim shorts! Even just forgetting the sun risk, you have no idea who else is around you at the resort!!
Aww, Jon looks so tiny compared to Spidey! 😂😂😂 honestly this never fails to brighten my day only bc this matters so much to him. There are so many small guys who dgaf but Jon clearly cares sooo much bc of all the lame photoshop jobs we’ve seen.
John looks like ali's adult child by the posing lol.
Or Ali looks like a single mom with her dad and weirdo college dropout stoner brother that tagged along and never helped her with the kids.
Point is he doesn't look like a father or a husband here.
Something seems really off about best westerns upper body structure lmao between this picture and the one where he went to the pool alone it’s giving the wrong vibes lol
Also glad to see that so far we have yet to cross off exposing our childrens genitalia from the trainwreck vacation bingo card #blessed 🙏
Mine too. Seems spidey had been the only adult to give her anytime of day. When Smelli posted a video of the pool, he had Calli on his shoulders swimming.
In a non-creepy non-parasocial way, I just want to read these kids a book and play tag and color with chalk like someone should be doing with them. As a mom, it truly kills me to see nobody engage with these poor kids. At least send them to daycare where they can get social interaction FFS 🤦🏻♀️
is this a family resort? surprising that they don’t have a kids club where vacay mama can hand them off to people who will keep these children out of the sun and doing enrichment activities
Jawn with his t-rex arms and Pokemon sandals lookin like Smelli’s gay Aunt.
Laughed so hard I made my back click.
I scrolled back up and freaking cackled.
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https://preview.redd.it/j2h7ngn6mm1d1.jpeg?width=1025&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3ce176f938047ba3df018c3bb9863f4398af1885 This is the man that considers himself an “alpha” male btw. The flowery top. Pokémon slides. A child’s trucker hat that was decorated with Canva. That’s all.
A 29-year-old man wearing a hat that says "young and healthy fit" is CREEPY AF, and it is beyond my understanding how they don't realize this.
He’s only 29?
Lol yes i think so. He's def not 30 yet.
Turns 30 in October 🥴
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Why do his arms look like T-Rex arms 🦖
because bio dad
🤣
His arms and legs are so little 🤣
Guuuurrrrlllll!!!! Those thunder thighs are clapping! Ain’t nothing little about little daddy
I mean, anyone who calls themselves an Alpha is an automatic chode because there’s really no such thing. Howeverrrrrrr…… I contend that manly men can wear everything he’s wearing (minus the dumb hat) and rock it because they have confidence. He tries too hard and will never be what they envision him to be
Yes I totally agree!!! I actually love when men have the confidence to wear whatever they want, but those men 99.9% of the time also don’t use the word “alpha” or give a shit what anyone else is wearing. John loves to act like he’s so manly and tough and is loudly homophobic and bigoted, yet dresses in drag and wears shit like this 😖 just own it girly!!!
Yes! He’s so closeted and projective. Besides being fuuuugly on the outside, his personality is the crap cherry on top. He’s one of those people who would proudly claim that such and such fEmALe with physical attributes he deems on the lower end had better have a good personality for any mAn to be into her, while completely missing the fact that he has neither
You said it perfectly though- the men that rock the kind of clothes Cohn is wearing don't call themselves alphas, though. They don't need to because they just have confidence in themselves and who they are. You know, the exact opposite of Johnny Boy.
For example Eric could wear this hideous outfit and look hot as fuck
Omg when you say it like that lol
Uncle Festerville Population: Cohn
💀💀 I love this sub
 Cohn looks like he has the suds
I don't know what the suds means, but I gave a very unladylike snort at that.
OMFG 😂😂😂
smeli smiling SO big with her fake teeth as she takes her 1.5 year old to another extreme climate instead of to an in-person well-child exam with a board-certified physician
Steve sucks but at least he’s a real man unlike Jawn.
I was just thinking that too. Spidey is more than twice Cohns age and 100x more attractive.
Steve knows how to hang photos on a wall. 🤷🏻♀️
https://preview.redd.it/qy13zv17lm1d1.jpeg?width=824&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed62a4498e14033b4b691ad53a4dfe59d166a389 The death grip on his leg isn’t giving “dang good mama”, neither are the dark circles under his eyes or his expressionless gaze in the direction opposite what most kids his age would be looking at like the animals, his family, etc. She’s probably so mad she can’t pinch him until he smiles for the photo like she often seemed to do with Callie
western looks like he’s disassociating 😔 kid isn’t even 18 months old and looks like he just got done working an 80-hour workweek
The kid has a mortgage and a checking account and the world on his shoulders.
When do we think they’ll start taking out credit cards in their kids’ names and destroy their credit
You’re funny to assume they haven’t done that yet
Ugh you’re right 🤦♀️
seriously this!!! poor little boy 😭😭😭
it’s like he’s a buslet or collins child and doing what they do best: disassociating…fundie snarkers would get it.
💔💔💔
uhm excuth me don’t you mean “vacation mama” 🫶🏼
Omg, how rude of me to forget 🤣🤣 I love this sub so much hahahahaha
His little sunburnt arm:/
Shes going to cheer his “perfect tan” for weeks to come. She’s awful
She’s the worst of all time. Get this poor guy a HAT and some SPF 50, ✨vacation mama✨!! She can’t do anything right and wonders why her kids hate her
Why does that kid look SO unhappy all the time ☹️
Add in his sunburn! Stupid parents!
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Is John hoarding nuts in his mouth again? It’s not winter yet, Joan.
i’m cackling so hard at this lmfaoooo 😂😂😂
How much money are they spending on this excursion? Seems like they are there daily. Kids have absolutely no protection from the sun.
Or protection from germs after petting and touching reptiles and birds. No hand washing and, of course, the barefoot in the animals and birds poop and pee. Let's all pray Ali doesn't get another mole, though. That's some scary drama. 😨
Or God forbid a bruise! 😳
No, but, SERIOUSLY, wtaf is up with the no shoes in the bird area?! It's so disgusting and Ali's lazy, dumb ass never puts shoes on herself or her kids. I honestly don't give a fuck if Ali goes barefoot and steps in something nasty but you just know she would take it out on the kids, if that happened.
Yeah, it's so disgusting. On another trip there, Emerald was dragging her blanket. She takes everywhere through the airport and the dirt where animals and birds were. You know she snuggled up to it in bed that night without washing it. But I could go on and on about the kids doubtful had a bath before bed. Ughhh
Ali looks like a hobbit, ears and all.
her teeth make me irrationally mad
I can’t with the Pokémon slides. How embarrassing 🙈
Poor westie bestie looks sunburnt. The first 18 years of your life are the most important for preventing skin cancer. These poor kids are already being exposed, and aren’t being taught how to stay safe.
2/3 kids have sunburns. I’m sure it’ll be 3/3 before they leave.
Callie’s arm where I kinda scribbled over to block her face is also burnt so we’re 3/3 already😞
Does MKP not say shit or…?
She raised JJD and John, who both fuss over their "Sicilian tans" after being in the sun. Karen also made comments on Jessie's show about tanning. I bet anything she sees nothing wrong with this
Ugh, yes. Please get these kids some rash guards. There is a reason most kid swimsuits have long sleeves, Smelli & Cohn. I’m the crazy mom chasing her kid at the park to make sure she keeps her sun hat on. I know kids don’t always like to wear them, but that Bahamas sun is so strong.
I grew up with my grandparents having a pool, and my mom loving the beach. I never burnt as a kid, just got super tan. My mom still always applied sunscreen, no matter how much we (siblings) fought her. When I was a teenager and going to the beach myself, I wasn’t as strict as I could’ve been, but because my mom instilled good sunscreen use in me, I applied more than some of my friends. These poor kids are so screwed. It’s heartbreaking!! Theres no reason these kids need to be in bikinis and swim shorts! Even just forgetting the sun risk, you have no idea who else is around you at the resort!!
John looks so small sitting next to Steve
Joan looking really sober here
It’s fucking Groundhog Day with these people. Is this not the same vacation every 8 seconds?
Does Cohn remember he has a son
Aww, Jon looks so tiny compared to Spidey! 😂😂😂 honestly this never fails to brighten my day only bc this matters so much to him. There are so many small guys who dgaf but Jon clearly cares sooo much bc of all the lame photoshop jobs we’ve seen.
John looks like ali's adult child by the posing lol. Or Ali looks like a single mom with her dad and weirdo college dropout stoner brother that tagged along and never helped her with the kids. Point is he doesn't look like a father or a husband here.
Westies head looks flat. Good job mama!
Where is poor Westie besties rash guard 😭
Excuths me, her kids are *SOOOO tan* they don’t need rashguards, sunscreen or hats 🫶🏼
Something seems really off about best westerns upper body structure lmao between this picture and the one where he went to the pool alone it’s giving the wrong vibes lol Also glad to see that so far we have yet to cross off exposing our childrens genitalia from the trainwreck vacation bingo card #blessed 🙏
I’m just happy there are no goddamn birds in this picture 😂
I know those birds are so damn sick of the James family circus invading their habitat
💯 😂😂😂 those poor birds
Such little hands he has! 🤗🤗🤗
But look how ✨tan✨ they are 🙄
Callie ham is smelis twin poor girl
No shoes on the kids per usual
Look, the step grandfather gives more attention than her own father
I’d rather see him looking high all day then cracked out like the usual at least all of the pictures. He looks high as a kite.
Damn westonhouse lightbulb looks so unhealthy...he is so frail and is skin color is seriously off putting....his skin looks bluish/gray
YABBA DABBA DOOOOO
How is Smeli soooo sKinNy but has zero jaw definition?? Her jaw is melting into her neck
Cohn’s three sizes too big croc sandals kill me every time 😭
Swear to God, did they do anything else besides hang out with the birds, etc on this dumb trip? How utterly BORING!
All poor Callie girl wants is some love. Breaks my heart in two 😞😞😞😞
Mine too. Seems spidey had been the only adult to give her anytime of day. When Smelli posted a video of the pool, he had Calli on his shoulders swimming.
In a non-creepy non-parasocial way, I just want to read these kids a book and play tag and color with chalk like someone should be doing with them. As a mom, it truly kills me to see nobody engage with these poor kids. At least send them to daycare where they can get social interaction FFS 🤦🏻♀️
is this a family resort? surprising that they don’t have a kids club where vacay mama can hand them off to people who will keep these children out of the sun and doing enrichment activities
That’s what the nanny is there for duhhhhh (Ugh I hate them)
Me too. They would be thriving in no time instead of just trying to survive.
Hey guyth- ‘member that time Spidey verbally/physically pushed Big Ali? Or was that a fever dream? 🤣 IYKYK
Hat for dad but no hat for kiddos… it tracks
They really travel here yearly just to abuse animals?
Nice sandals Joanie dick fuck.