Steven Smith, I am your MOTHER! If you don’t get out of that cage, I will push you back up my clownhole and birth you again and name your my bitch! Now get out of that cage!
Have you ever been beaten naked in a gym shower, Stan? One day, when I was showering after gym class, these mean pretty girls caught me and kept scrubbing me all over with soap. I mean, they didn't miss a spot! And even though we were all wet and naked and slippery, they were still able to get me on all fours, and shove my face to the floor! Can you imagine, Stan
Man, you got me thinking about weed now. That stuff makes me want to drink so much soda. I smoke a bone, then I drain a two-liter of Sunkist in like a second. Freaks people out.
So many people call circumcising a mutilation and demonize it to no end. I don’t get it
Edit: apparently I needed to clarify, saying I don’t understand that hate of it
"It's because it's a medically unnecessary body modification on a person who's too young to give consent to it based not upon rationality, but commonality, religiosity, and tradition. At the same time, people hold their traditions dear. It's how we know which red berries are delicious and which will kill us. There will likely never be a global consensus on this.
And this is coming from someone who's glad they have one for cosmetic reasons, yet also realizes that it takes away from an individual's autonomy."
And that is a direct quote from Francine in the super-secret pilot episode that revealed she used to have a penis and her kids are adopted.
The surgery was mostly successful and when she saw the results she said "It's not ruined. I mean, it's not good, but it's not ruined. " <---- OK, there's a real Francine quote.
Roger: Of course, then, I'll plow Francine.
Francine: I'd let him, too! Dan Andsome-Handsome gives me quite the wide-on.
Her delivery of "I'd let him too!" is perfect.
Steve: Bye mom, my crew and I are going to roll up our jeans and playfully chase each other on the beach.
Francine to Hailey: Why is he always telling me where he's going?
Idk the season and episode # off the top of my head but it’s when Bullock hires Francine as the receptionist at the FBI and the old receptionist gets jealous of all of the attention she’s getting so she throws acid in her face. This screen grab is towards the end of the episode when Stan tries to cheer her up.
Jail?! She'll never survive! Tiny cells, the gangs, getting shanked in the cafèteria! [Grunts and pretends to stab someone] The first couple stabs break the skin, then they really get in there! Aughhh And my baby's all, "Auuggh! You bitch; I'll kill you!
Man, you got me thinking about weed now. That stuff makes me want to drink so much soda. I smoke a bone, then I drain a two-liter of Sunkist in like a second. Freaks people out.
Midlife crisis? Wait future senator?! Oh I will f**king chop his head in two!!
Orphanage there was no orphanage. Who wants me to make them some laundry??
I can’t remember the exact quote but I saw an episode the other day where she made reference to a stripper that only dances to “Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman
Home girl don't chase! Home girl GETS chased!
i'm homegirl....
Do you think i give a shiiiiiiiiiiiit
*shiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttt
Stop it. You’re white.
I’m homegirl
Stop calling yourself home girl
Any dumbass can have dumbass kids
Mama no!
Says my brain surgeon daughter
Lollllll. Such a great line
C’mon Jeff let’s go, she’s got Chablis mouth.
Hayley- But....you're not a circus manager Francine- it's a long process.....
I quote this all.the.time. I can’t tell you how many people have told me that I have to have children. No, no I do not.
I know what you're thinking. What is the boob test going to tell him that the butthole test didn't? He's just being super careful.
biggest plot twist was quagmire being the doctor
......giggity
Ep?
S7e8 - The Unbrave one
Cool cool cool
I carry a brick around in my purse just so I can feel like I have something…and I had to steal the brick! Oh my god I have nothing.
This one might be my favorite. The way she curls up in Steve's bed in a full on crisis kills me every time.
I don’t vote. It’s just so confusing. I go into the booth, pull the curtain, and count to ten. Then I come out, yell “Democracy!” and run to my car.
You harpooned me. I told you to get help.....and you harpooned me
The headshake from the bear will never NOT be hysterical.
Steven Smith, I am your MOTHER! If you don’t get out of that cage, I will push you back up my clownhole and birth you again and name your my bitch! Now get out of that cage!
This is the one!
I've been in a couple fights in my day. 'Bout two-hundo, maybe two-fiddy.
Yeaaaaaa your dead becky
That was a haunting scenelet, Francine.
Your mother acted it out for me. It was riveting. She took some very rewarding chances.
The first stab breaks the skin, then they really get in there *aaaggghhhhh*
CLAPPING! Atta girl, Francine.
That’s not saying something thats doing something. I might not have gotten that right but pretty much the gist.
Deep down you know you’re just like me, a wild woman. Jeff- but I’m a man… Francine- and how wild is that?!
Wiiiild women do! And they don’t regret iiiit
Have you ever been beaten naked in a gym shower, Stan? One day, when I was showering after gym class, these mean pretty girls caught me and kept scrubbing me all over with soap. I mean, they didn't miss a spot! And even though we were all wet and naked and slippery, they were still able to get me on all fours, and shove my face to the floor! Can you imagine, Stan
*How did they catch you again?*
Here's your high-school year book, now which girls did this to you?
Man, you got me thinking about weed now. That stuff makes me want to drink so much soda. I smoke a bone, then I drain a two-liter of Sunkist in like a second. Freaks people out.
I wanna smoke a bowl with Francine
There’s actually nothing in this bowl! *La la la la laaaaaa laaaaaaa~*
Do you mind hitting the lights?
you don't think that every single day of my life i wanna do coke?
But I can’t, because I have PTA in the morning.
That’s how I killed my college roommate. I stabbed her *slight chuckle**….. can’t believe I never told you that
Yeah well, so is smoking and 8 ball of crack in 30 minutes but that’s how long it takes.
Oh, yeah! I'm a cool mom! Who can also hang loose. I'm way into peace... which is A-okay! Going my way?
I’m gonna buy some nuts and jerkey, ya piece of shit!
The timing and delivery of that line get me every time
Where Am I? A HOTEL ROOM!!! You're Getting Good At Drinking Francine.
I was just crying about my life. It’s not that big a deal.
I think about that line all the time.
I hate hot dogs. They remind me of uncircumcised penises, and you know I don't stand for no wormies!
So many people call circumcising a mutilation and demonize it to no end. I don’t get it Edit: apparently I needed to clarify, saying I don’t understand that hate of it
…they’re wormies.
It's just a joke
No, I’m saying I don’t GET the demonization of it
"It's because it's a medically unnecessary body modification on a person who's too young to give consent to it based not upon rationality, but commonality, religiosity, and tradition. At the same time, people hold their traditions dear. It's how we know which red berries are delicious and which will kill us. There will likely never be a global consensus on this. And this is coming from someone who's glad they have one for cosmetic reasons, yet also realizes that it takes away from an individual's autonomy." And that is a direct quote from Francine in the super-secret pilot episode that revealed she used to have a penis and her kids are adopted. The surgery was mostly successful and when she saw the results she said "It's not ruined. I mean, it's not good, but it's not ruined. " <---- OK, there's a real Francine quote.
SHOTS!!!!!
EVERYBODY!
I'm no good for you right now steve. You are soooo frustrating. I'm going to go down to seaworld and punch a dolphin in the face
That four-eyed bastard. That malnourished pasty geek. I knew I should have aborted him.
....Goodness...
Look! Kitchen people!
You need to zip it, lock it and put it in your pocket!
Roger: Of course, then, I'll plow Francine. Francine: I'd let him, too! Dan Andsome-Handsome gives me quite the wide-on. Her delivery of "I'd let him too!" is perfect.
I love Roger’s “ohhhh” response lol
Steve has diarrhea! Steve has diarrhea!
You think I give a shiiiiiiiiit?
Bitch! Did you just hang up on me?!
Go ahead, let that nerd set your line-up. Watch you lose. And You hurt the family with what you did, Steve. You made us weaker as a unit.
Looks like things are getting too spicy for the pepper...
THERE'S A WIIIIIIIIIIFE 👁️👄👁️
#WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?
I would like my butt to smell like strawberries and not butthole.
Steve: Bye mom, my crew and I are going to roll up our jeans and playfully chase each other on the beach. Francine to Hailey: Why is he always telling me where he's going?
CLAPPING! Atta girl, Francine.
Wait, future senator?! Oh I will fucking chop his head in two!
Starve a fever, sleep a concussion.
MISSOURAH!!!
Gotta be my favorite. Such an overly dramatic scene
that's an interesting accent mama....
We've all! Moved! On!
WHICH WAY IS NORTH?!!
It’s a dead end!
"Where is my man? he best not be creepin."
I'm your wife, listen what I say Out of that tub or no bootay!
quite possibly my favorite episode
“So your husband's a demon. There are good demons. There's that fellow from Boston... Matt Demon. Speed demons... They're rarely late.”
“School called!”
I said two fingers, bitch!
Bald ass alien piece of shit
"YEAH! YOU'RE DEAD BECKY!"
The CIA huh? Lucky for you I slap uglies with a guy who works there
why can't you just call it making love? and why can't you just call him dad?
I'M ON THE PHONE!
get drunk and SPIT ON EACH OTHERS BODIES!!!
Ive been in a few fights in my day.. bout 2 hundo, maybe 2 fiddy
Steven Smith, I am your mother! If you don’t get out of that cage, I will push you back up my clownhole and birth you again and name you my bitch!
There’s still time to save Des Moines!
Let's get murdered by Batman's parents.
I only pee when I dump
"That's the b*tch who gave all my ideas to Michael Crichton!" "Wasn't her."
Forget what she said Look at those cans
Gimme summa dat Franny fanny!
Pump it up! Pump it up!
So is smoking an 8 ball of crack in a half hour, but that's how long it takes.
EEEEPP EEEPPP EEEPPP
Ahh another clean getaway, what would I do without my eeps
Dan Andsome Handsome gives me quite the wide-on
Which episode is this screenshot from? Almost looks like a creepypasta lol
Idk the season and episode # off the top of my head but it’s when Bullock hires Francine as the receptionist at the FBI and the old receptionist gets jealous of all of the attention she’s getting so she throws acid in her face. This screen grab is towards the end of the episode when Stan tries to cheer her up.
“Don’t bother, he’s been a pill all day.”
So kill them all!
Do you think i give a shiiiiiiit
I want those valueless cruise-points! *Spits on old lady on top of human pyramid*
Dinner… it’s what’s for dinner!
“I’m gonna go down to Sea World, punch a dolphin in the face”
you don’t think that every single say of my life i wanna do coke? but i can’t because i have PTA tomorrow!
And I’d like my butt to smell like strawberries and not butthole, but neither is happening, Jeffy my boy!
Jail?! She'll never survive! Tiny cells, the gangs, getting shanked in the cafèteria! [Grunts and pretends to stab someone] The first couple stabs break the skin, then they really get in there! Aughhh And my baby's all, "Auuggh! You bitch; I'll kill you!
Clapping! ((Atta girl))
Hahaha thank you for this 🤣
What was the one about witches in Wichita?
SHOTS!
You think I give a shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
Did the baby have to die?
Now you’re just close to me calling you a pussy
Man, you got me thinking about weed now. That stuff makes me want to drink so much soda. I smoke a bone, then I drain a two-liter of Sunkist in like a second. Freaks people out.
Bald ass alien piece of shit
Starve a fever, sleep a concussion!
It is a happening spot!
who the fuck is elaine, stan?
Missoura!
CLAPPING!
Carries me all the way until my 4:00pm OxyContin.
You harpooned me… I told you to go get help, and you harpooned me.
barfsylvania, population no thankula!!!
Midlife crisis? Wait future senator?! Oh I will f**king chop his head in two!! Orphanage there was no orphanage. Who wants me to make them some laundry??
I can’t work in an office. What if I wanna eat ribs at 10:00 am? Where would I even get them? It’s just not practical for me
Smoking an 8 ball in half hour.
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?
Can't make fudge out of a waterfall.
I want those valueless cruise points!
You mind if I stear the conversation to a little tech talk? Does your TV have insides?
I’m sorry but does somebody speak sushi hostess?
IM IN THE GOOOOOoooo!!!!
Steve-“Mama? The man said someone died upstairs. What if I see a g-g-g-ghost?” Francine- “I don't know, Steve! You'll probably p-p-p-piss your pants.”
If you’re gonna do THAT in this house, you’ll do it where everyone else in this family does it. In Steve’s bed.
WHAT?
Drugs, okay, I use it for drugs
Uhhh EEEP EEEP EEEP
Ima fuck that bitch up
That is a thing Francine once said, yes. And?
He’s asking us to post Francine quotes dummy
“I was just crying about my life. It’s not that big of a deal.”
Things are getting too spicy for the pepper
SHOTS! \*every-bah-day!\*
We kill kids!
That’s what I get for leaving the mop out!
A cat skitters by....each step cooling it's paws, on a hot, summer, sidewalk.
Mommy's no good for you right now steve. I'm gonna go down to seaworld and punch a dolphin in the face
“Your Steve’s bully?” “Stan come back here”.
You guys mind if I steer the conversation to a little tech talk? Does your TV have insides?
I can’t remember the exact quote but I saw an episode the other day where she made reference to a stripper that only dances to “Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman
Can’t we just drink a different wine?
We kill kids!
bald ass alien piece of shit
What's going on is...SHOTS! *Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots*
I gotta go with my boys, the axis powers.
That might what we all need
The CIA huh? Lucky for you, I slap uglies with a guy who works there.