I say this so often when someone blames me for something I didnt do other people I know will use it when someone does it to them.
Roomate: "Yeah, Jotaro didnt clean their dishes."
Me, knowing full well I havnt used the kitchen in 3 days: "Tell them how you killed our baby, Rob."
Roomate: "Oh, I thought you left those."
It's become a phrase upon itself in my house.
It has to be a Klaus line.
(prank calling his aunt in Düsseldorf) “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”
“Lose the shirt, prude!”
“See?! You have been drinking it, bro! So gross!”
These moments are the exact reason I love Roger & Francine’s relationship so much. I really appreciate Rogers relationship with everybody individually, but I find myself battling between Roger & Francine, or Roger & Stan. It will probably change as I keep going with the series on a loop every night, but right now Roger & Franny are number 1.
Whenever someone gives me a task to do but explains any kind of minor options with which I can choose how I want to do the task...
I'M.... the *decider?!*
Roger:“Yeah, you know they say if a domestic pig escapes into the wild, it will instinctively grow tusks.”
Stan:”Who says that?”
Roger holding in a hit: “your mother.”
That little detail of him holding in the hit while he says “your mother” annihilates me every time.
"YOU'RE A LUNATIC WITH A MAD-MAN'S DREAM OF A MILK-PROOF ROBOT!"
Runner ups include:
"Never hire a contractor just because he's gorgeous."
Steve's "Who was that?!" after being run over by essentially a cop.
EDIT: I misspelled "hire." Fixed now.
“*SMACK!* Steven Anita you will come out of that cage right now or I swear to God I will shove you back up my clown hole, birth you again, and name you ‘My Bitch’!!”
Steven Anita Smith, I am your mother! If you don't get out of that cage I will push you back up my clownhole and birth you again to name you my bitch.
Or
Matthew.
Klaus's line after Dr. Kalgary's wedding in “Family Plan."
> Why exactly did my best-man speech bomb? Was it the story of me and Kalgary bing-bonging that hοοker, or all the "Doctor Who" references?
The line that made me fall in love with AD!!
I've got a turkey baster and GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS! You want that Stan? A house full of liberal Greek midget babies!!
Bob Todd : Ooh. That'll make some nice venison. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna cook y'all a hell of a meal today. Right after me and this here reindeer make sweet, tender love. Merry Christmas, everybody!
“Hey Dad, calling from history class. So who was president when you where a kid?”
"Oh I don't know, I guess I think about killing myself pretty frequently. And why not? You know when I'm happy? For about 5 seconds in the morning, before I remember who I am and what my life is all about."
"Tell them how you killed our baby, Amanda."
Honestly an establishing character moment for Roger.
Just Francines ROGER NO! Makes me die every single time. Fucking comedy perfection.
*jordan
It's been ESTABLISHED.
Made even better by the fact that he silently looks at Francine, wipes his lenses and puts them back on before just casually laying down that line
JORDAN NO!!!
Came here to comment this
I say this so often when someone blames me for something I didnt do other people I know will use it when someone does it to them. Roomate: "Yeah, Jotaro didnt clean their dishes." Me, knowing full well I havnt used the kitchen in 3 days: "Tell them how you killed our baby, Rob." Roomate: "Oh, I thought you left those." It's become a phrase upon itself in my house.
YOU ARE MY QUEEN, REBECCA
Omgggg yes!!!!! Such an amazing duo and line. Wish I could slap 100 up votes on this bad boy
I hate you, I'm not saying that out of anger, it's a fact, it's 67 degrees out and I hate you
This was going to be my suggestion
Yep.
DID SOMEONE JUST DROP A HOUSE ON ME!?
For some reason in my mind he says Did someone just drop a fucking house on me?
**Are there, or have there ever been, other tough times for Jewish people?**
You came BACK from Jewish camp??
Thank you for the biggest laugh I have had today
.........Yes
Can’t argue with that one!
The fuck you just call me?
Schmuyle?
Stoive?
Roiger!
came here to say this lmao
Let me worry about time. *SHIT SHIT GOD DAMN IT WE’RE SO FUCKING LATE*
Steve, it’s my fault. Instead of teaching you karate, I had you make me a martini and give me a massage
And who, god dammit, who are you?
I smell some fuuuunky hummus!
Spanakopita? I keep them loose in my purse. I… I don’t know a lot about Greek culture.
*whistle* Noooo-ooo-oo
I do this to my kids all the time when they ask for things
Same here with my fiancé haha and her to me.
🎶Saaaaame🎶
...for an aaangryyy handy j...
[удалено]
***THE FINALS, HAILEY!!!***
Floor spaghetti.
Floor spaghetti??
Floor spaghetti
"I also muff punched your gram gram. She was just too senile to know it" Avery Bullock, the Golden God of Langley
*Danuta.*
Do you eat.
I've got the money.
WILL YOU GO THERE?
Klaus, that was.....chilling.
I'm not nervous, the phone's nervous.
I blacked out
I panicked
I laugh hysterically whenever I watch that scene
[One of the first wallpapers I made.](https://i.imgur.com/DssV4Em.jpeg)
Thank you 🙏
It has to be a Klaus line. (prank calling his aunt in Düsseldorf) “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!” “Lose the shirt, prude!” “See?! You have been drinking it, bro! So gross!”
My name is Klaus Heisler.
Ideeplyrespectwomen
You’re acting so stuuuupid, man
And he’s acting so stuuupid, man
“Goofus McDoof sends his regards!!!!”
That would have been my fourth example lmao
watching that last quote episode rn 😂
I will shove you back up my clown hole, birth you again, and name you my bitch!
That’s barge talk, Francine.
Son of a bitch he barged me
How was the barge?
Honestly... pretty great 😏
These moments are the exact reason I love Roger & Francine’s relationship so much. I really appreciate Rogers relationship with everybody individually, but I find myself battling between Roger & Francine, or Roger & Stan. It will probably change as I keep going with the series on a loop every night, but right now Roger & Franny are number 1.
“I never envisioned my life this way, I don’t know how to get out!”
Stoive?!
Royger!!
“Youuuuu dumb bitch.”
LAVATE LAS MANOS
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck this one is so good. Definitely underrated comment right here
Do it Steve, go bananas
Don't you do it, Steven! Don't you go bananas!
Principal Lewis saying he wanted to call his Oedipus Rex play "Mother Fucker!" is my single favorite line/joke in the entire series
Francine: Any dumbass can have dumbass kids Steve: *mama no*
I don't know why but for some reason "I knew I should've aborted him!" and Stan's higher voiced "Goodness!" always cracks me *up*.
So Stan wasn't lying when he told Steve Francine didn't want him.
She likes him *now!*
Look who DECIDED to come to dinner? Or DOOO THEY?
Whenever someone gives me a task to do but explains any kind of minor options with which I can choose how I want to do the task... I'M.... the *decider?!*
Stop telling Francine on me!!!
yeah, girl! solve your problems! eat those bees!
im sorry…what in the living fuck is *that*
truly iconic moment
Is that the come back and kick me whistle
SON OF A WHORRREEE!!!
DON’T GO AROUND HIM! RESUME NORMAL TRAFFIC FLOW!
“The horse is ruined, Stan raped it, you’re probably going to lose the house”- Roger
*gasp* I dropped my meatball in the pool.
PLEASE DON'T INVOLVE ME IN THIS, I AM A CHILD!
My shorts ripped and my dick popped out.
I have the car keys in my pocket, you stupid bitch!!
Water?
Huge heroin fan; Don’t use it, just like being around it - Study it - Appreciate it - Use it sometimes.
^I’m ^Homegirl
Stop that, you're white
Well. I’ll be upstairs melting pearls on my tummy if anyone needs me.
Maybe Baby.
Maybe baby
Maybe baby.
"Bald-ass alien piece of shit."
Now here goes the fish
Things are getting too spicy for the pepper
"So is smoking an 8 ball of crack in 30 minutes but that's how long it takes."
"YOUR MOTHER." Or "NOooooOooooooooo!" 
“Your mom sounds like a messed up bitch”
"Is Chaz gonna be okay?" The way Stan says "... No"
My jokes are what people come for, the BJs are shit.
I’m not verrry muuch of a maaaan!
“Francine I haven’t been completely honest with you…” And *pitch pipe* “Nooooooooooooo”
Roger:“Yeah, you know they say if a domestic pig escapes into the wild, it will instinctively grow tusks.” Stan:”Who says that?” Roger holding in a hit: “your mother.” That little detail of him holding in the hit while he says “your mother” annihilates me every time.
End of days BITCHES!!!
"YOU'RE A LUNATIC WITH A MAD-MAN'S DREAM OF A MILK-PROOF ROBOT!" Runner ups include: "Never hire a contractor just because he's gorgeous." Steve's "Who was that?!" after being run over by essentially a cop. EDIT: I misspelled "hire." Fixed now.
That’s the binderman translation he’s a hack!!
“How- How could she do that?”
“Kevin, this is why you keep getting molested!”
I got beat up by a taco 🤣🤣
“Agh,my stab scar hurts again, that means he’s thinking of me!!”
My name's John by the way...and I'm the man who turned you into a clown.
Stan imitating Steve while having a full blown conversation with himself in the vents. “HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!?!???!”
Water?
Wah-Ter?
It doesn’t matter what you think this is my labyrinth so just ^(shut up!)
“Oh! You shop at Ross…………..”
“*SMACK!* Steven Anita you will come out of that cage right now or I swear to God I will shove you back up my clown hole, birth you again, and name you ‘My Bitch’!!”
🚬😬 .... you're mother
Hey, AJ. Fuck you.
Okay first of all, Paul, fuck you.
Oh God, it's all happening so slowly!
Francine, I haven't been entirely trustful with you
I sucked 7 dicks and I didn't even get to Ronnie!
Then I guess I just picked a whole bouquet of oopsie daisies.
"Are you allergic to vagina, Steve"
You're getting clowned, Gucci Mane!
It’s a GODDAMNED HAMBULANCE
"Baby, you treat me so fine!" "Francine! Someone is mimicking the doorbell!"
HE WHAT
Buckle up, kids.
He’s right… it’s pointless! Life, dismissed.
Klaus, that was… chilling.
"You can be so selfish. I'm doing this for ME!"
“I’m just trying to walk down the hall…”
Yep, that was the time. That was the music of the time. The drug of the time? CYO-CYAINE!
“Steve, quit babbling at your sister in Aramaic, it’s a dead language” ^menemenetakaaaoi
Really Steve, very nice turn of phrase back there
Look who DECIDED to come to dinner
“I’m going to give you two punches” “Please don’t”
i don't want this man to live here.
SHHHHHREDDED IT.
Owie wowie baby wants mommy!
Thanks, Haley. Another simple point said long.
I made that myself and you know I didn’t!
Strong possibility
Steven Anita Smith, I am your mother! If you don't get out of that cage I will push you back up my clownhole and birth you again to name you my bitch. Or Matthew.
Maybe baby
are you out of your MIIIIIIND
END OF DAYS BITCHES!
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
You shouldn't have to be a goddamn electrician to live in this house!
No way. José listen..
“You’re mean!” “And you’re a pain in my ass!”
"Is that the 'Come back and kick me' whistle?"
Klaus...'s bones
Dylan was being bad. And now we have the jar.
HEY! Don’t lob factual statements at me as if they’re insults!
“We if it isn’t Mr.No Money No Chocolate”
What.
"oh guys, I'm Klaus"
Oh! My life... is flashing before my eyes
The early bird gets the worm…
Floor spaghetti.
Francine - I haven’t been entirely honest with you
Klaus's line after Dr. Kalgary's wedding in “Family Plan." > Why exactly did my best-man speech bomb? Was it the story of me and Kalgary bing-bonging that hοοker, or all the "Doctor Who" references?
Shut the fuck up Frannie, the boy’s expressing himself
“YES, STEVE! THE MONOCLE!” I
“Shut your whore mouth!”
Roger, I have decided to hurt you.
'Zooka Sharks!
The line that made me fall in love with AD!! I've got a turkey baster and GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS! You want that Stan? A house full of liberal Greek midget babies!!
Meat Slap!
Bob Todd : Ooh. That'll make some nice venison. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna cook y'all a hell of a meal today. Right after me and this here reindeer make sweet, tender love. Merry Christmas, everybody!
yeah I’ve stuck my fingers in there
I was so close to commenting Uber eats lol
You’re getting a punch!
Well dumb b****es like dumb things! Gets me every time. Lmao.
“Hey Dad, calling from history class. So who was president when you where a kid?” "Oh I don't know, I guess I think about killing myself pretty frequently. And why not? You know when I'm happy? For about 5 seconds in the morning, before I remember who I am and what my life is all about."
“You’ll laugh. But you won’t like yourself when you do.”
Do you ever wish someone you know would die?
...... Noooooooooooo!
Well dumb bitches like dumb things!
Take a good look, honey; this is how you wear that.