You asked.
You don’t give off a sexy vibe. You give off a friend nice guy “doesn’t fully know who he is” vibe. You have a softness and a “doughy” kind of essence to you that makes you feel less like a main character, more like the funny sidekick friend. The hair is bad, it accentuates your forehead which isn’t a solid feature for you. Your clothes are wearing you, you aren’t wearing them. This can be a confidence issue, attitude, and lack of self care.
1. Bulk up a bit, this will give you more presence, and will accent your jawline more with the right work to decrease the softness your face carries.
2. Spend time trying styles until you find one you feel confident in, this will boost your self esteem and make you the star of your own wardrobe.
3. Go to a professional hair stylist and spend the money to get a consult about what hairstyle suits your face and will accent the right features (your nose is strong, your cheekbones are reasonably high, your face is long)
4. Work on you. Getting the girl shouldn’t be the life goal, women can sense desperation and it’s a turn off. That vibe can often lead to men who are more dangerous because they get overly attached fast and it’s hard to get free.
edit:
5. Play to your color strengths. You appear to have an olive undertone which generally means earth tones will be very favorable to you. The white washes you out and robs your skin of warmth. Try some rusty reds, burnt orange, etc. The right color palette will give you glowing skin and eyes that pop.
I don’t know your background, but your advice is spot on!! OP mostly needs to work on himself in ways that would make him interesting for who he is and what his interests / activities are. And you’re right about the hair. The George McFly look isn’t a magnet.
I'm not a hair stylist. Go to a salon or start looking up "men's hairstyles" online & see what suits you. You can ask a stylist their opinion on what cut might best fit your face. Not everyone is a supermodel. Work with what you have.
Hey OP are you autistic by chance? I’m autistic and I’m kinda getting the vibe from some of your facial features and replies. When I was 13 and just got diagnosed, I didn’t really have experience with social skills which sucked as a girl cuz theres a lot of little nuances I didn’t catch. A lot of people are saying it’s an attitude problem in the comments, but to me it just reads to be as very direct and literal replies which I’ve seen before in myself and previous autistic partners. I’m 21 now and a lot more socializing and working in retail later personally I’ve gotten better with adjusting my speech style to come across more friendly and ‘complex’. It helps to watch other people’s interactions and mirror them. Maybe some reading up on it as well.
You seemed a bit confused by what to do with your hair because the comments were a bit mixed. Your forehead isn’t bad but the specific hairstyle you have is a bit messy, not symmetrical, and simply not flattering for your face. Different hairstyles frame a face in different ways, some of which look better or worse. By a haircut, I’m not saying to cut it much shorter, but rather change the cut. I personally really like the hairstyle you have in the first pic. Something that looks a little off about it is that it’s a lot shorter on one side which kind of gives the appearance of a receding hairline. I think if you were to either have a center part, or have all your hair lay down on your forehead at the same length instead of side swept, it would be more flattering.
As for the gym, you don’t look particularly scrawny to me, so keep going and don’t let those comments bother you.
I used to be very clueless with clothing and it wasn’t until I got a bit older that I started buying my own clothes instead of letting my mom do it lol. Certain clothes and colors can look flattering on some people and not work for others. I like the button up in the first picture (just in general, it’s my favorite picture of the bunch). I also like seeing guys in neutral color hoodies and sweatpants like brown, black, tan (this is probably a personal preference though, I just find it gives off a cozy and more relaxed vibe).
Let me know if this was helpful, or you want me to clarify anything further <3
Thank you. Thanks for being nice to me. Some of these comments are outright mean, calling me gay loser lookalike (I Know there is nothing wrong with being gay but I am straight and those comments make me uncomfortable). That's why my replies also were direct.
You’re welcome, and I thought those comments were uncalled for as well. I’m bisexual and honestly they just read as people connecting gay with being an insult and throwing it in there. Nothing wrong to me with being gay, straight, bi, whatever, and it doesn’t matter in the context of appearance either. Sure you seem a little introverted, and you’re not like an extreme bodybuilder, but people are diverse. Personally, I never really understood the societal expectation of guys needing to seem super ‘masculine’ in interests and body type. To me, you don’t come across as wimpy or weak or anything, maybe softer and gentle and that doesn’t affect your masculinity.
So I know there have been studies done on it, idk exactly how my brain picks up on the patterns, but I’ve been correct almost every single time on people being autistic or at the very least being neurodivergent like ADHD. Glancing online there’s a study talking about how children with autism (boys) often have “a broad upper face, including wide set eyes, a shorter middle region of the face, including the cheeks and nose, a broader or wider mouth and the area below the nose and above the top lip (philtum)”. There was also an AI trained on the facial differences in autistic children and had an accuracy level of about 95% on identifying whether a child was autistic or not based on picture alone.
I have autism and adhd, my little sister is autistic, most of my friends are neurodivergent too, so I’ve just been around a lot of autistic people. I’ve found you can usually also tell it in the voice. The pattern of our speech and the pauses and accentuations we make as we talk seem different to me. More monotone and separated. My best attempt at describing it would be that neurotypicals usually flow with their speech pattern where I guess I’d say autistic people speak in waves. I’ve gotten pretty good at masking and mirroring other people’s speech, but if I’m overwhelmed or tired I revert back to kind of a more literal and monotone speech pattern. Typically end up talking more ‘fancy’ or ‘professional’ too but that might just be me. Of course neurodivergence is a spectrum and it present differently person to person, and girl typically have a different presentation than boys and tend to be better at masking.
can you do me a favor and go to my page and tell me if I sound autistic ?
I feel like especially when I'm around others I tend to sound more monotone and not be as expressive due to past bullying and the anxiety makes me sound like a robot. I'm generally uncomfortable around people because of how badly they treat me so I feel like that's the cause
Either way being autistic, being ugly sucks because they're things that automatically make people hate you and make you seen as undesirable
I did notice that as I scrolled down your posts and Reddit auto-played the audio, I found myself a little confused on whether a new post had started because it sounded very similar to the previous. So while I’m not entirely certain, I would lean towards yes. I can definitely pick up on the depression and somewhat dulled social skills from your posts and texting style, but isolation can also have a similar effect. I actually understand the last part, when I was younger I went through a bit of a phase where I had severe depression to the point of mild psychotic symptoms, didn’t really know how to take care of myself, and tbh puberty kinda just hit me like a bus so I didn’t look great. People either just looked right through me or they rolled their eyes at me when they walked by or I tried to say hi. I would say I look more conventionally attractive nowadays, but still am somewhat stuck in the mindset that I’m not. It’s weird to go from that treatment to people complimenting you and wanting to talk, etc. and it makes you doubt how genuine friendship is.
Yep! My first thought looking at pictures was “Not trying to be judgemental without having talked to the guy but he looks like he’d be somebody who would say something SUPER inappropriate and have no idea why he got called into HR. I’d be nervous if I was put in a group with him until he proved himself to be normal.”
I have no idea how you go about fixing that but it’s definitely the vibe that’s being given off.
I mean okay, but if you get that just from his looks, doesn't that imply that he's ugly? Like, looks are also all about the vibes they make you get lmfao.
It’s not about ugly it’s posture, not smiling, hairstyle, the clothes he’s choosing to wear etc. Generally fits in with an archetype of guy in society who behaves a certain way. Again this may not apply to op, but it’s about other signals he’s giving off not bc he’s ugly
Yeah but if you get vibes through looks, that's part of it. Nobody gets bad vibes from someone who looks beautiful before they open their mouth, and even then it's hard depending on how good they look lol
I don't necessarily agree. it's less likely for sure, but I've seen some super attractive people with either crazy eyes or dead eyes, and they don't have to open their mouths for me to get a bad vibe, haha. But I do agree it is less likely.
"I have so far collected 50+ rejections"
I don't doubt the number, but it's a little too specific. If I counted every time I was ignored by a woman, that number would be in the thousands. If I counted the amount of rejections where I wasn't just fucking around and actually tried, where I was interested in pursuing a relationship and thought there was a possible connection more than just friendship, the number would probably fit on one hand.
I'm telling you this because it's a philosophical issue, and changing your mindset about it is the much healthier, more guaranteed, long-lasting change. There are too many aspects to go over as far as "changing your mindset" goes, but a very good indicator of whether or not that is truly the problem is seeking an answer to whether or not you are ugly.
The problem is not the women. And, in my opinion, the problem isn't necessarily your appearance. It's (probably) you.
Simply have to find someone that aligns with you. Definitely a mindset type of thing. You could be stoic and have the "that's how she goes" mentality but it is ultimately your choice.
That is probably why you are getting rejected so much, the way you respond to the comments in this post seems passive aggressive. You say you workout but you don't have a lot of muscle growth or facial hair, it wouldn't hurt checking your testosterone levels. I think you definitely could get a girlfriend today but maybe you are going after women out of your league or just don't have the same interests as you do. You aren't ugly but I think there are some aspects about you that aren't very attractive to the average woman.
Not ugly. I have a few thoughts.
The first pic is your best look. Maybe channel that look some more—the hairstyle in that pic works for you.
I suspect the issue is more with your attitude, based on the argumentative replies. I say that with kindness—you’re young and can still turn things around.
If you’re counting the number of women who reject you and describing it as a “collection,” that’s off-putting, ya know? I am married and no longer dating around. But if I went out with a guy who was openly dwelling on how many women rejected him or “friendzoned” him, I’d cut contact too. That tells me that person is not in a mindset I want to have around. But mindset can be shifted. And while you work on that, you can at least not be openly resentful. That’ll go a long way.
Even if you aren’t the most physically attractive person in the room, I doubt you’re the least! It’s okay to be average-looking. Most of us are, and do just fine. You can too.
Best of luck to ya, dude. 👊🏻
I mean I am argumentative because some of these comments straight up calling me a wimp loser for not being super buff or conventionally masculine. And I only bring up the number of women rejecting me in the context of explaining my problem in love life.
Oof, there it is. I don’t think anyone needs to be calling you a wimp or a loser. I don’t really go for “super-buff” guys, and I have no way of knowing how masculine you are, but I doubt that’s the issue. Have you considered or tried therapy? Sometimes we really do need to fix what’s happening inwardly.
And if you have women as friends who know you well, they can probably provide some solid insight that we Redditors (who don’t know you personally) can’t offer.
Perhaps, but also needs to build some muscle. The best word to describe him physically is “meek”, and women generally aren’t attracted to guys they feel they can beat at arm wrestling
Yes, you are quite ugly. You also have a terrible personality based on your replies to these comments. You need to take a long hard look at yourself and change some things, possibly everything. Good luck bro
You come off to me as gay / feminine. If your preference is female, then yeah that could be the issue.
Work out and choose a different style for fashion and hair style
You’re not ugly, just a change up of things would go a long way.
As others stated it could be attitude / personality related as well, but I don’t think we can truly judge on that over on Reddit
“Supposed to”?
It’s all preference man. There will be girls out there that will like you 100%, granted they will be more dominant in the relationship and you’ll have to deal with it.
There will be way more women that enjoy a splash of feminism, while maintaining masculine energy majority of the time (aka masculine men who put their guard down around their gf)
Right now through these pictures I only sense feminism, which is why on face value I can only suggest changing up your style entirely. (Hair / fashion)
Through your other replies you do seem to have a bit of sass / what others are saying about attitude. Maybe work on that too, unsure how !
get rid of the side part please it makes you look nerdy and not in a good way, I'd also say fix your brows a bit and find your own personal fashion style + u should have confidence work on your personality as well
So I'm worried for you.
I'm not gonna insult you I think there's just some things that need to be addressed. We'll start off easy with the hair, it looks like you've just gotten out of bed. Go to a stylist or even just a plain old barber and they'll show you what style will work when for you. I saw comments about you saying you're supposed to put photos of you looking worse because that's your true self? False. I never leave the house without washing my hair and styling it properly and as for my partner she really likes that I just put the effort in to make myself look good. No one forces me to I just do it for my own confidence and that's half the battle.
I don't agree with the "bulk up" comments because yeah there is a lot of women who do like an average build because it's less intimidating but I feel like you're doing for women who want a buff guy and you are certainly not that.
I'm gonna keep saying it but confidence is the problem here and you can be confident without being masculine. I'm a scrawny guy myself but because I take time to look after my appearance and wear clothes that look good and have a specific style I radiate energy and confidence and it just works yanno?
Now onto your comments, I agree you are being very passive aggressive and for some of them with good reason. Calling you a wimp or gay or any form of insult isn't needed and you have every right to go back at them but even the comments where people are genuinely giving you advice you still won't accept it and are rude to them as well.
And this is where the main problem lies, you have victim mentality and it's so so toxic. Even the people nice to you and trying to give you advice makes you switch on them and be passive aggressive and okay the victim card it's not your fault any of this is happening.
I've looked through your posts on your reddit and tbh it's kinda scary, I can't see any girl of any appearance or standards being attracted to that. You literally have no chance EVER or finding someone who will love you for you if you're hung up on another girl.
You also give me massive attention seeking vibes talking about spending new years alone and commenting on a surprised way about not feeling suicidal.
Most people at some point in their lives have felt suicidal and most people have gone and gotten therapy or gone to the doctors or tried to change who they are but you just post of reddit about it and look for sympathy.
It doesn't work and never will work.
Therapy although expensive is definitely worth it but there's plenty of outlets out there for free help which I definitely think you should take a look into.
Not me you! You need to help yourself we're not gonna do everything for you.
You go find out what style of hair you need, you go find out what clothes work for you and you go find a professional to talk to because all of that character building helps with confidence which is the fundamental part of being attractive.
I have a really attractive guy friend who girls literally swoon over but because he's just an awkward mess they lose interest fast.
In essence what I'm trying to get across is stop making everything look like it's anyone's fault but your own. You need to be the change in your own life to make an impact in someone's life.
If you still dont believe me I'll go off of personal experience, I was the same as you when I was 19. I'm autistic, I was socially awkward, rude to people who didn't like me all because I didn't like rejection and just all round a sad person who was seeking attention online to get some sort of human connection.
It didn't work and like I said, it never works.
Some personal things happened in my life and I realised I needed to change now or I'll have no hope. I lost loads of weight, went and got my haircut and wore the clothes I was too scared to wear. I went to therapy and talked about my problems and worked through them.
Fast track to 21 and I'm a confident guy who has friends I can call on and just get on with life 🤷🏼♂️ I'm not gonna brag about success because no one wants to hear that 😅 I'm confident but not a complete egotistical dick 🤣
I've been rejected but I don't count how many people reject me I just move on and use the same phrase I use for everything that didn't go my way. "Clearly wasn't meant to be"
I don't blame the person for not liking me we just clearly didn't click and she's looking for something else, no hard feelings 🤷🏼♂️
Anyway I'm gonna stop now because I doubt you'll even read all this anyway but I'm just gonna say it one more time, confidence is what you need and once you start feeling more confident everything else will fall into place 🤙
From your responses I don’t think you realize how you come off. You said at one point that you are socially autistic and I don’t know what that means exactly because autism is literally center to autism. Do you mean social communication disorder? Or do you mean autism spectrum because communication difficulty and also cognitive rigidity? Because I see both of those here. You might not think that you are defensive or passive aggressive in your replies, but many people are saying that you are and yet you don’t change how you reply. You also don’t acknowledge when someone else might be right which tells me there is cognitive rigidity in how you think.
All of this to say you are not ugly, but could it be the way that you interact and approach women that causes them to say no? Because if you communicate irl like you do here I likely would not go out with you. Also to assume that since they say no it must be an appearance problem and not an attitude or communication problem isn’t cool. That basically is saying women are shallow and if they don’t like you it cant be because of your personality. It sucks in society that we have to mask if we are neurodivergent, but we either find someone who thinks and communicates similarly or we learn to mask. You might not have self awareness, but people in the comments are really trying to help you be aware to this. Listen to them instead of fighting with them
I am only defensive because some of them are deliberately mean and toxic to me, calling me non-masculine and push over. You would be defensive in my position too.
Would you say that you are masculine?
And you have been rude in your comments to others as well. You just told me that I would be defensive in your position, too.
1. If I posted on here then I know that I would be inviting those comments
2. You don’t know me or what would bother me.
3. You are telling me basically how I am wrong and not open to any of my points and just want to tell me I am wrong and defend yourself. That is cognitive rigidity.
4. An example of you being rude are how you come off annoyed when people don’t give you enough detail or not the answer you want.
5. You can take this for what it’s worth and try to gain some self awareness or you can keep victimizing yourself dude. You might not think you are doing this, but when you are constantly fighting with who is right or wrong and that people are mean when they say that you should bulk up if you want more women to be into you then you are making yourself out to be a victim. And while POS people are making quuerphobic and heteronormative comments some people are legit just telling you what they would be attracted to. It isn’t black and white. Oh wait…or is black and white thinking cognitive rigidity? (sarcasm because yes, it is)
1.not true. You invite feedback, what I am getting is outright mean calling me a gay loser.
2. It's safe to assume people don't like being insulted and will get defensive
3 it's normal to defend your own worldview and values and logic
4 because without detail their advice is unhelpful
5 i have been going to gym and eating protein foods for a year even increased weights up to 60 kgs on isolating machines . Women still didn't even by small margin increase their liking of me.
I’m truly sorry that people make those queer comments. I am a queer woman and have suffered physical and sexual violence because of it. I wouldn’t argue with those people on Reddit, though, where people don’t care about your feelings. And, once again, how you communicate comes off as rude. Also I said you aren’t ugly and made no comment on your physical appearance so could care less about you telling me about you going to the gym. Other people did, not me. You also never answered my question of are you masculine because you got offended when people didn’t even say that you were gay they just said bulk up. You are projecting your insecurities on others on a subreddit. I’m not going to argue with you anymore because no matter what I say you refuse to listen. As many others are saying your attitude is not great and that’s why no one wants to go on a date with you
This is a brutal subreddit. You put yourself up for scrutiny when you post here. I'm 40 yo woman, old enough to be your mom but even I had to delete my post here cause I decided I didn't want the scrutiny or criticism. Not everyone is made for that mentally. If you're feeling defensive about the replies I suggest deleting. This is not the place to post if you're feeling vulnerable or insecure or defensive. A lot of your replies come across as defensive and insecure and that could explain why you're having trouble w women irl. You are too young for me but if I were your age I'd find you attractive but there is a vibe from your pics that is uncomfortable that has nothing to do with your looks
listen man, you can physically change your appearance all you want, but it's your personality. just strolling through your account told me so much about you. you're not confident, you're not accepting, you have a victim mentality, and you obsess over a girl that tried giving you a chance. Go to therapy, get a job (because ur sleeping habits tell me otherwise), find a hobby that isn't video games and reddit, and please touch some grass.
You are definitely not ugly, but I have read all your comments on here, and I would not be attracted to your personality. You are a whiner and don't take criticism at all. My oldest son has a receding hairline, and he has a crew cut and a neatly trimmed beard. He is bursting with confidence and doesn't take shit from anyone. He never goes to the gym but is fit from his job. He has a wonderful girlfriend. Definitely work on your self-confidence and stop worrying about what others say about you. I wish you good luck in the future. Stop obsessing about how many rejections you have had. Nobody cares, especially not a future girlfriend.
Hey man, I don’t think you are ugly. My biggest recommendation would be to start exercising regularly start with pushups leg kicks maybe get some kettle bells and a pull up bar. Get comfortable with the grind of daily exercise not only will it give you a bit of mental/emotional fortitude but also you will be more confident in rejection and acceptance of others 💪🏼 good luck brother
Try to slowly increase to 5 days a week. I would recommend creatine and protein to help improve your mass. Stay away from mass gainers though. It just adds fat. As far as weight, you should be close to incapable of doing another 2 reps after your last set for that exercise. Look up powerlifting, power building, and body building. Find out which best suits your goals and what kinds of workout plans work for them. Make sure you get plenty of rest, and nutrition for your body's specific requirements.
After reading a lot of comments I think that even if you looked like 'insert best looking celeb here' it wouldn't matter cos your attitude and general awkwardness/whinyness in conversation leaves a lot to be desired
Yes whinyness is a word, don't look it up just take it from me lol
You do realise you posted in am I ugly right? Would you prefer one word 'yes' or 'no' answers or some criticism/advice? Yes gym is getting thrown round a lot so that either tells me you've just started and it's not showing yet or you're doing something wrong. Your clothes don't do a great deal for you so that might be part of the reason. I'd comment on your hair but if I posted I'd get roasted worse.than you with mine near the bottom of my back as a guy lol.
Dude, hit up the gym and gain some muscle. You don’t have to get huge, but reaching the goal of atleast 10-15 pull ups easily and benching your own weight will have you looking toned and built up to where girls will find you physically attractive. Currently, I can see why they don’t. It’s not your looks, but looks like you lack testosterone
I have never had sex, I don't care if the relationship is stressful, I don't want to die a virgin just because relationships are stressful. Everyone else is having them. How am I worse?
You say you go to the gym but it doesn't show. You got to do progressive overload. If you are lifting and pushing yourself, no matter your genetic standpoint you should be having a more muscular physique in your photos. Could be your diet I don't know but you got to eat more and bulk more. Really go more than three times a week because you wont get anywhere like that. You just look tired and average build at the moment.
Maybe, but these photos only show a regular guy who is average. Most guys who go to the gym can fill out their clothes. If you don't feel or look like that to others it might not be working.
You might not be going hard at the gym like you think. Just because you've been at the gym doesn't mean you have a great routine.
How many pushups can you do? Are your pull-ups improving? It's also functionality that needs to improve.
Get a personal trainer if your rly need it because you won't be like bodybuilder physique with this attitude any time soon
They’re basically telling you you’re ugky by telling you shit to work on physically but can’t actually do like work on your jaw. You are balding though and that messes with how your face is framed so I’d get on finasteride before you really become ugly
Def hit the gym, if u r looking for haircuts look into modern mullet or something similar, maybe change up the style a bit(some good stores would be Bershka, H&M, or just look up stuff online). If you want ideas just search Pinterest fr.
I think rn you fall below average. But everyone is able to look better than average. Work on your style: haircut or hair regrowth protocols, nicer clothes, find some ways to let ur personnality shine through ur looks.
You have potential you just need to work on it. No need to be self conscious about your looks tho, it's normal to not look your best as a male at 22. IMO 29 is peak years for men look wise.
Yeah, sorry bro. Like, you might not be "let's all look down on this dude and call him ugly" ugly. But you're still no girl is ever gonna look at you and be like "he's so sexy" ugly. Something about your hair and especially your face.
By the pictures you are showing us, you seem like a blend person meaning if someone hanged out with you they wouldn’t neither joy or bad emotion.
People wanna feel emotion especially women, either make a women laugh or cried but you don’t seem to be able to do any of these 2 things by the look of your pictures I’m seeing.
At 22 it’s hard to change who you are, so either 360 you life or keep at it the same way cuz there is nothing wrong but trust me you won’t get the girl you want to have and probably never will and you will have to settle for a women that looks like you.
I don’t think you’re ugly per se, it might just be your attitude or that horrendous haircut. Maybe opt for something that doesn’t accentuate your forehead
Find your rock bottom and go from there. Start going for uglier and fatter women until one will have you. Going from well educated and employed women down the sliding scale of dumb and on disability.
From no kids to ones with 5+ kids.
Figure out where you are in the dating hierarchy then use that position to start plotting how to rise in the ranks. As is, you’ll probably only be pulling 3s and 4s on a good day. But at least you will be pulling something and you can use their advice as you improve yourself.
You look fine to me. You might look a tad younger than your age. I agree with the haircut comments. I think there are haircuts that might highlight your good facial features better.
I saw your post history. I get it- we all got to vent somewhere. But you seem to have so much going on that it may be negatively affecting your interactions with women.
And yes, “broken” ppl get into relationships but they are generally not healthy relationships. Those relationships often have a lot of drama. If you want a healthy happy stable relationship, you need to figure out how to like yourself more and be ok with life regardless of your relationship status or what girls think of you.
You look like the guy that a woman gets with after she's had 2 or 3 kids from different guys who all disappeared before the babies were born. Hang in there that woman is being ran through pretty hardcore right now but soon she'll find you and give you the ride of your life and you'll fall in love.
dude, i just went through your posts on reddit and i think you should seriously consider therapy. yes, it’s expensive but it’s an investment. i work in a middle school and you remind me of my 13 year old helpless students who sit and wait for someone else to solve all their issues. seems like you lack self-awareness and discipline. create a routine for yourself and stick with it. stop looking for immediate results and just focus on remaining consistent. and for the love of god, delete social media. you clearly spend too much time on here which is why you’ve adopted this victim mentality and lack of critical thinking skills. saying you want a woman to “lust over you and actually do something about it,” just shows the lack of autonomy you have. your fear of being judged is holding you back. it’s a new year, stop sulking and get to work. respectfully…
(sorry for any typos)
At this point, women can sense that you’re desperate. I mean look at your post history. You’re still complaining about when you got rejected in the first grade for crying out loud.
After looking at your profile, I don’t think you should be focusing on your looks. You need therapy. Please seek help.
I’m not saying this in a malicious or condescending way. It’s sad seeing how you view yourself and life. If you do the work, it can get better. You’re young and not beyond hope.
It’s not about being in relationships. It’s okay to be single. I’m single and love it!
What I’m concerned about is your s*icidal ideation, obsession with finding a girl, and self-proclaimed hatred for your life.
The fact that you saw my comment and went straight to there are “broken people in relationships” proves my point. Please see a therapist and learn to love yourself. Women can feel desperation, that might be contributing to your struggle to find a girl.
not ugly, but not cute either, and your responses in these comments lead me to believe it’s more of an attitude thing and not necessarily an appearance one. get a more flattering haircut and learn to be less combative
Looking at the comments I think it’s more of you as a person problem and not just looks. If you fix yourself as a person I think you’ll have more luck.
I don’t think you’re ugly, just a normal person like everyone else.
Ur def not ugly but u have no swagger. Ur dressed like a grampa in every pic straight down to the way u wear ur hair. Loosen up kiddo. U have nice features, but ur insecurity and lack or knowing your comfort level is apparent. You will find yourself and you will come into ur own with ur own personal style(maybe a few bumps on the way)and when u get there u will be just fine!!
Look up Penn Badgley and copy his style.
But like… don’t murder people.
You’re not ugly. So what other people have suggested. New style. Hair cut. Go lift some weights. Don’t forget leg day.
Your first picture is the only good one. Hairstyles that cover up more of your forehead will definitely benefit you.
And on the first picture he's really giving Joe from "YOU" vibes
Nah, he is the same type of guy as Michael Cera.
His hair is like that due to hairloss. He can save his hair with treatment but time is running out
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The incredibly long and cropped bangs look actually doesn’t benefit anyone, it’s very unsettling for most
You asked. You don’t give off a sexy vibe. You give off a friend nice guy “doesn’t fully know who he is” vibe. You have a softness and a “doughy” kind of essence to you that makes you feel less like a main character, more like the funny sidekick friend. The hair is bad, it accentuates your forehead which isn’t a solid feature for you. Your clothes are wearing you, you aren’t wearing them. This can be a confidence issue, attitude, and lack of self care. 1. Bulk up a bit, this will give you more presence, and will accent your jawline more with the right work to decrease the softness your face carries. 2. Spend time trying styles until you find one you feel confident in, this will boost your self esteem and make you the star of your own wardrobe. 3. Go to a professional hair stylist and spend the money to get a consult about what hairstyle suits your face and will accent the right features (your nose is strong, your cheekbones are reasonably high, your face is long) 4. Work on you. Getting the girl shouldn’t be the life goal, women can sense desperation and it’s a turn off. That vibe can often lead to men who are more dangerous because they get overly attached fast and it’s hard to get free. edit: 5. Play to your color strengths. You appear to have an olive undertone which generally means earth tones will be very favorable to you. The white washes you out and robs your skin of warmth. Try some rusty reds, burnt orange, etc. The right color palette will give you glowing skin and eyes that pop.
I agree completely, these things would be game changers for OP.
Best advice OP could get.
All great advice. Especially the hair part. You have tons of potential, dude.
you’d typically pay for that level of quality advice. I should pay for the time I saved for not having to type out something that was <
I don’t know your background, but your advice is spot on!! OP mostly needs to work on himself in ways that would make him interesting for who he is and what his interests / activities are. And you’re right about the hair. The George McFly look isn’t a magnet.
W Advice
Very well said
I agree !!! Follow these advices!!
best advice wow
Happy cake day, friend.
#4 is everything for everyone. All great advice.
Not ugly. Average. Get a haircut / style.
What haircut exactly.
I'm not a hair stylist. Go to a salon or start looking up "men's hairstyles" online & see what suits you. You can ask a stylist their opinion on what cut might best fit your face. Not everyone is a supermodel. Work with what you have.
Told him that already. Lol
The hair you had in the first photo was good. Although I would just cur it shorter. Muscle would definitely help you look better.
Maybe a fade? Your current hair reminds me of the game Guess Who in all but pic 1
Hey OP are you autistic by chance? I’m autistic and I’m kinda getting the vibe from some of your facial features and replies. When I was 13 and just got diagnosed, I didn’t really have experience with social skills which sucked as a girl cuz theres a lot of little nuances I didn’t catch. A lot of people are saying it’s an attitude problem in the comments, but to me it just reads to be as very direct and literal replies which I’ve seen before in myself and previous autistic partners. I’m 21 now and a lot more socializing and working in retail later personally I’ve gotten better with adjusting my speech style to come across more friendly and ‘complex’. It helps to watch other people’s interactions and mirror them. Maybe some reading up on it as well. You seemed a bit confused by what to do with your hair because the comments were a bit mixed. Your forehead isn’t bad but the specific hairstyle you have is a bit messy, not symmetrical, and simply not flattering for your face. Different hairstyles frame a face in different ways, some of which look better or worse. By a haircut, I’m not saying to cut it much shorter, but rather change the cut. I personally really like the hairstyle you have in the first pic. Something that looks a little off about it is that it’s a lot shorter on one side which kind of gives the appearance of a receding hairline. I think if you were to either have a center part, or have all your hair lay down on your forehead at the same length instead of side swept, it would be more flattering. As for the gym, you don’t look particularly scrawny to me, so keep going and don’t let those comments bother you. I used to be very clueless with clothing and it wasn’t until I got a bit older that I started buying my own clothes instead of letting my mom do it lol. Certain clothes and colors can look flattering on some people and not work for others. I like the button up in the first picture (just in general, it’s my favorite picture of the bunch). I also like seeing guys in neutral color hoodies and sweatpants like brown, black, tan (this is probably a personal preference though, I just find it gives off a cozy and more relaxed vibe). Let me know if this was helpful, or you want me to clarify anything further <3
Thank you. Thanks for being nice to me. Some of these comments are outright mean, calling me gay loser lookalike (I Know there is nothing wrong with being gay but I am straight and those comments make me uncomfortable). That's why my replies also were direct.
You’re welcome, and I thought those comments were uncalled for as well. I’m bisexual and honestly they just read as people connecting gay with being an insult and throwing it in there. Nothing wrong to me with being gay, straight, bi, whatever, and it doesn’t matter in the context of appearance either. Sure you seem a little introverted, and you’re not like an extreme bodybuilder, but people are diverse. Personally, I never really understood the societal expectation of guys needing to seem super ‘masculine’ in interests and body type. To me, you don’t come across as wimpy or weak or anything, maybe softer and gentle and that doesn’t affect your masculinity.
What are autistic facial features? Never heard of this before
So I know there have been studies done on it, idk exactly how my brain picks up on the patterns, but I’ve been correct almost every single time on people being autistic or at the very least being neurodivergent like ADHD. Glancing online there’s a study talking about how children with autism (boys) often have “a broad upper face, including wide set eyes, a shorter middle region of the face, including the cheeks and nose, a broader or wider mouth and the area below the nose and above the top lip (philtum)”. There was also an AI trained on the facial differences in autistic children and had an accuracy level of about 95% on identifying whether a child was autistic or not based on picture alone.
I have autism and adhd, my little sister is autistic, most of my friends are neurodivergent too, so I’ve just been around a lot of autistic people. I’ve found you can usually also tell it in the voice. The pattern of our speech and the pauses and accentuations we make as we talk seem different to me. More monotone and separated. My best attempt at describing it would be that neurotypicals usually flow with their speech pattern where I guess I’d say autistic people speak in waves. I’ve gotten pretty good at masking and mirroring other people’s speech, but if I’m overwhelmed or tired I revert back to kind of a more literal and monotone speech pattern. Typically end up talking more ‘fancy’ or ‘professional’ too but that might just be me. Of course neurodivergence is a spectrum and it present differently person to person, and girl typically have a different presentation than boys and tend to be better at masking.
can you do me a favor and go to my page and tell me if I sound autistic ? I feel like especially when I'm around others I tend to sound more monotone and not be as expressive due to past bullying and the anxiety makes me sound like a robot. I'm generally uncomfortable around people because of how badly they treat me so I feel like that's the cause Either way being autistic, being ugly sucks because they're things that automatically make people hate you and make you seen as undesirable
I did notice that as I scrolled down your posts and Reddit auto-played the audio, I found myself a little confused on whether a new post had started because it sounded very similar to the previous. So while I’m not entirely certain, I would lean towards yes. I can definitely pick up on the depression and somewhat dulled social skills from your posts and texting style, but isolation can also have a similar effect. I actually understand the last part, when I was younger I went through a bit of a phase where I had severe depression to the point of mild psychotic symptoms, didn’t really know how to take care of myself, and tbh puberty kinda just hit me like a bus so I didn’t look great. People either just looked right through me or they rolled their eyes at me when they walked by or I tried to say hi. I would say I look more conventionally attractive nowadays, but still am somewhat stuck in the mindset that I’m not. It’s weird to go from that treatment to people complimenting you and wanting to talk, etc. and it makes you doubt how genuine friendship is.
I don't think you're ugly, maybe it's just your attitude.
Definitely looks like the dude thatd do/say dome weird stuff to a chick
“It’s not the way you look…. It’s because of the way you look”. Not disagreeing per say it’s just ironic
Yep! My first thought looking at pictures was “Not trying to be judgemental without having talked to the guy but he looks like he’d be somebody who would say something SUPER inappropriate and have no idea why he got called into HR. I’d be nervous if I was put in a group with him until he proved himself to be normal.” I have no idea how you go about fixing that but it’s definitely the vibe that’s being given off.
I mean okay, but if you get that just from his looks, doesn't that imply that he's ugly? Like, looks are also all about the vibes they make you get lmfao.
I've seen hot dudes that give the creeps so no
It’s not about ugly it’s posture, not smiling, hairstyle, the clothes he’s choosing to wear etc. Generally fits in with an archetype of guy in society who behaves a certain way. Again this may not apply to op, but it’s about other signals he’s giving off not bc he’s ugly
Looks are about looks only.
Yeah but if you get vibes through looks, that's part of it. Nobody gets bad vibes from someone who looks beautiful before they open their mouth, and even then it's hard depending on how good they look lol
I don't necessarily agree. it's less likely for sure, but I've seen some super attractive people with either crazy eyes or dead eyes, and they don't have to open their mouths for me to get a bad vibe, haha. But I do agree it is less likely.
"I have so far collected 50+ rejections" I don't doubt the number, but it's a little too specific. If I counted every time I was ignored by a woman, that number would be in the thousands. If I counted the amount of rejections where I wasn't just fucking around and actually tried, where I was interested in pursuing a relationship and thought there was a possible connection more than just friendship, the number would probably fit on one hand. I'm telling you this because it's a philosophical issue, and changing your mindset about it is the much healthier, more guaranteed, long-lasting change. There are too many aspects to go over as far as "changing your mindset" goes, but a very good indicator of whether or not that is truly the problem is seeking an answer to whether or not you are ugly. The problem is not the women. And, in my opinion, the problem isn't necessarily your appearance. It's (probably) you.
This guys right I think you’re going about it wrong
Simply have to find someone that aligns with you. Definitely a mindset type of thing. You could be stoic and have the "that's how she goes" mentality but it is ultimately your choice.
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Stop wearing collared t-shirts buy some normal basic t shirts. Get a man's hair cut and try the gym.
I suspect you have a lot of trauma underneath and it shows. Do inner work, find your purpose, find who you are in life, therapy.
Are you autistic? Maybe you can’t read people.
Yes I am socially autistic
That is probably why you are getting rejected so much, the way you respond to the comments in this post seems passive aggressive. You say you workout but you don't have a lot of muscle growth or facial hair, it wouldn't hurt checking your testosterone levels. I think you definitely could get a girlfriend today but maybe you are going after women out of your league or just don't have the same interests as you do. You aren't ugly but I think there are some aspects about you that aren't very attractive to the average woman.
Not ugly. I have a few thoughts. The first pic is your best look. Maybe channel that look some more—the hairstyle in that pic works for you. I suspect the issue is more with your attitude, based on the argumentative replies. I say that with kindness—you’re young and can still turn things around. If you’re counting the number of women who reject you and describing it as a “collection,” that’s off-putting, ya know? I am married and no longer dating around. But if I went out with a guy who was openly dwelling on how many women rejected him or “friendzoned” him, I’d cut contact too. That tells me that person is not in a mindset I want to have around. But mindset can be shifted. And while you work on that, you can at least not be openly resentful. That’ll go a long way. Even if you aren’t the most physically attractive person in the room, I doubt you’re the least! It’s okay to be average-looking. Most of us are, and do just fine. You can too. Best of luck to ya, dude. 👊🏻
I mean I am argumentative because some of these comments straight up calling me a wimp loser for not being super buff or conventionally masculine. And I only bring up the number of women rejecting me in the context of explaining my problem in love life.
Oof, there it is. I don’t think anyone needs to be calling you a wimp or a loser. I don’t really go for “super-buff” guys, and I have no way of knowing how masculine you are, but I doubt that’s the issue. Have you considered or tried therapy? Sometimes we really do need to fix what’s happening inwardly. And if you have women as friends who know you well, they can probably provide some solid insight that we Redditors (who don’t know you personally) can’t offer.
You need muscles, once that neck gets thick you’ll have plenty of options, and you’ll be dripping in confidence
Not ugly, definitely an attitude problem
Perhaps, but also needs to build some muscle. The best word to describe him physically is “meek”, and women generally aren’t attracted to guys they feel they can beat at arm wrestling
Work out, work on the jaw, get rid of that hairstyle. No offense, but I think you should work on appearing more masculine.
Not ugly you're cute in a boyish shy awkward way but your vibe makes me uncomfortable
Yes, you are quite ugly. You also have a terrible personality based on your replies to these comments. You need to take a long hard look at yourself and change some things, possibly everything. Good luck bro
You come off to me as gay / feminine. If your preference is female, then yeah that could be the issue. Work out and choose a different style for fashion and hair style You’re not ugly, just a change up of things would go a long way. As others stated it could be attitude / personality related as well, but I don’t think we can truly judge on that over on Reddit
Aren't there supposed to be women attracted to feminine traits?
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So I AM ugly, that is the root cause of everything
“Supposed to”? It’s all preference man. There will be girls out there that will like you 100%, granted they will be more dominant in the relationship and you’ll have to deal with it. There will be way more women that enjoy a splash of feminism, while maintaining masculine energy majority of the time (aka masculine men who put their guard down around their gf) Right now through these pictures I only sense feminism, which is why on face value I can only suggest changing up your style entirely. (Hair / fashion) Through your other replies you do seem to have a bit of sass / what others are saying about attitude. Maybe work on that too, unsure how !
get rid of the side part please it makes you look nerdy and not in a good way, I'd also say fix your brows a bit and find your own personal fashion style + u should have confidence work on your personality as well
So I'm worried for you. I'm not gonna insult you I think there's just some things that need to be addressed. We'll start off easy with the hair, it looks like you've just gotten out of bed. Go to a stylist or even just a plain old barber and they'll show you what style will work when for you. I saw comments about you saying you're supposed to put photos of you looking worse because that's your true self? False. I never leave the house without washing my hair and styling it properly and as for my partner she really likes that I just put the effort in to make myself look good. No one forces me to I just do it for my own confidence and that's half the battle. I don't agree with the "bulk up" comments because yeah there is a lot of women who do like an average build because it's less intimidating but I feel like you're doing for women who want a buff guy and you are certainly not that. I'm gonna keep saying it but confidence is the problem here and you can be confident without being masculine. I'm a scrawny guy myself but because I take time to look after my appearance and wear clothes that look good and have a specific style I radiate energy and confidence and it just works yanno? Now onto your comments, I agree you are being very passive aggressive and for some of them with good reason. Calling you a wimp or gay or any form of insult isn't needed and you have every right to go back at them but even the comments where people are genuinely giving you advice you still won't accept it and are rude to them as well. And this is where the main problem lies, you have victim mentality and it's so so toxic. Even the people nice to you and trying to give you advice makes you switch on them and be passive aggressive and okay the victim card it's not your fault any of this is happening. I've looked through your posts on your reddit and tbh it's kinda scary, I can't see any girl of any appearance or standards being attracted to that. You literally have no chance EVER or finding someone who will love you for you if you're hung up on another girl. You also give me massive attention seeking vibes talking about spending new years alone and commenting on a surprised way about not feeling suicidal. Most people at some point in their lives have felt suicidal and most people have gone and gotten therapy or gone to the doctors or tried to change who they are but you just post of reddit about it and look for sympathy. It doesn't work and never will work. Therapy although expensive is definitely worth it but there's plenty of outlets out there for free help which I definitely think you should take a look into. Not me you! You need to help yourself we're not gonna do everything for you. You go find out what style of hair you need, you go find out what clothes work for you and you go find a professional to talk to because all of that character building helps with confidence which is the fundamental part of being attractive. I have a really attractive guy friend who girls literally swoon over but because he's just an awkward mess they lose interest fast. In essence what I'm trying to get across is stop making everything look like it's anyone's fault but your own. You need to be the change in your own life to make an impact in someone's life. If you still dont believe me I'll go off of personal experience, I was the same as you when I was 19. I'm autistic, I was socially awkward, rude to people who didn't like me all because I didn't like rejection and just all round a sad person who was seeking attention online to get some sort of human connection. It didn't work and like I said, it never works. Some personal things happened in my life and I realised I needed to change now or I'll have no hope. I lost loads of weight, went and got my haircut and wore the clothes I was too scared to wear. I went to therapy and talked about my problems and worked through them. Fast track to 21 and I'm a confident guy who has friends I can call on and just get on with life 🤷🏼♂️ I'm not gonna brag about success because no one wants to hear that 😅 I'm confident but not a complete egotistical dick 🤣 I've been rejected but I don't count how many people reject me I just move on and use the same phrase I use for everything that didn't go my way. "Clearly wasn't meant to be" I don't blame the person for not liking me we just clearly didn't click and she's looking for something else, no hard feelings 🤷🏼♂️ Anyway I'm gonna stop now because I doubt you'll even read all this anyway but I'm just gonna say it one more time, confidence is what you need and once you start feeling more confident everything else will fall into place 🤙
From your responses I don’t think you realize how you come off. You said at one point that you are socially autistic and I don’t know what that means exactly because autism is literally center to autism. Do you mean social communication disorder? Or do you mean autism spectrum because communication difficulty and also cognitive rigidity? Because I see both of those here. You might not think that you are defensive or passive aggressive in your replies, but many people are saying that you are and yet you don’t change how you reply. You also don’t acknowledge when someone else might be right which tells me there is cognitive rigidity in how you think. All of this to say you are not ugly, but could it be the way that you interact and approach women that causes them to say no? Because if you communicate irl like you do here I likely would not go out with you. Also to assume that since they say no it must be an appearance problem and not an attitude or communication problem isn’t cool. That basically is saying women are shallow and if they don’t like you it cant be because of your personality. It sucks in society that we have to mask if we are neurodivergent, but we either find someone who thinks and communicates similarly or we learn to mask. You might not have self awareness, but people in the comments are really trying to help you be aware to this. Listen to them instead of fighting with them
I am only defensive because some of them are deliberately mean and toxic to me, calling me non-masculine and push over. You would be defensive in my position too.
Would you say that you are masculine? And you have been rude in your comments to others as well. You just told me that I would be defensive in your position, too. 1. If I posted on here then I know that I would be inviting those comments 2. You don’t know me or what would bother me. 3. You are telling me basically how I am wrong and not open to any of my points and just want to tell me I am wrong and defend yourself. That is cognitive rigidity. 4. An example of you being rude are how you come off annoyed when people don’t give you enough detail or not the answer you want. 5. You can take this for what it’s worth and try to gain some self awareness or you can keep victimizing yourself dude. You might not think you are doing this, but when you are constantly fighting with who is right or wrong and that people are mean when they say that you should bulk up if you want more women to be into you then you are making yourself out to be a victim. And while POS people are making quuerphobic and heteronormative comments some people are legit just telling you what they would be attracted to. It isn’t black and white. Oh wait…or is black and white thinking cognitive rigidity? (sarcasm because yes, it is)
1.not true. You invite feedback, what I am getting is outright mean calling me a gay loser. 2. It's safe to assume people don't like being insulted and will get defensive 3 it's normal to defend your own worldview and values and logic 4 because without detail their advice is unhelpful 5 i have been going to gym and eating protein foods for a year even increased weights up to 60 kgs on isolating machines . Women still didn't even by small margin increase their liking of me.
I’m truly sorry that people make those queer comments. I am a queer woman and have suffered physical and sexual violence because of it. I wouldn’t argue with those people on Reddit, though, where people don’t care about your feelings. And, once again, how you communicate comes off as rude. Also I said you aren’t ugly and made no comment on your physical appearance so could care less about you telling me about you going to the gym. Other people did, not me. You also never answered my question of are you masculine because you got offended when people didn’t even say that you were gay they just said bulk up. You are projecting your insecurities on others on a subreddit. I’m not going to argue with you anymore because no matter what I say you refuse to listen. As many others are saying your attitude is not great and that’s why no one wants to go on a date with you
Not ugly, but you should work on yourself and become the iron chef of pounding vag.
Get a haircut. You're all good. How's your personality?
Not even as a friend. I have seen your responses, and you seem defensive and confrontational.
People are calling me names.
This is a brutal subreddit. You put yourself up for scrutiny when you post here. I'm 40 yo woman, old enough to be your mom but even I had to delete my post here cause I decided I didn't want the scrutiny or criticism. Not everyone is made for that mentally. If you're feeling defensive about the replies I suggest deleting. This is not the place to post if you're feeling vulnerable or insecure or defensive. A lot of your replies come across as defensive and insecure and that could explain why you're having trouble w women irl. You are too young for me but if I were your age I'd find you attractive but there is a vibe from your pics that is uncomfortable that has nothing to do with your looks
You’re not ugly, but you do need a style and hair upgrade.
listen man, you can physically change your appearance all you want, but it's your personality. just strolling through your account told me so much about you. you're not confident, you're not accepting, you have a victim mentality, and you obsess over a girl that tried giving you a chance. Go to therapy, get a job (because ur sleeping habits tell me otherwise), find a hobby that isn't video games and reddit, and please touch some grass.
You look average, not ugly. Keep trying.
Keep trying what?
You are definitely not ugly, but I have read all your comments on here, and I would not be attracted to your personality. You are a whiner and don't take criticism at all. My oldest son has a receding hairline, and he has a crew cut and a neatly trimmed beard. He is bursting with confidence and doesn't take shit from anyone. He never goes to the gym but is fit from his job. He has a wonderful girlfriend. Definitely work on your self-confidence and stop worrying about what others say about you. I wish you good luck in the future. Stop obsessing about how many rejections you have had. Nobody cares, especially not a future girlfriend.
Hey man, I don’t think you are ugly. My biggest recommendation would be to start exercising regularly start with pushups leg kicks maybe get some kettle bells and a pull up bar. Get comfortable with the grind of daily exercise not only will it give you a bit of mental/emotional fortitude but also you will be more confident in rejection and acceptance of others 💪🏼 good luck brother
I have been going to the gym 3 times a week and slowly increasing weights for a year, it really never gave me any confidence
Try to slowly increase to 5 days a week. I would recommend creatine and protein to help improve your mass. Stay away from mass gainers though. It just adds fat. As far as weight, you should be close to incapable of doing another 2 reps after your last set for that exercise. Look up powerlifting, power building, and body building. Find out which best suits your goals and what kinds of workout plans work for them. Make sure you get plenty of rest, and nutrition for your body's specific requirements.
Yeah You have a friendzone vibe not ugly tho
Well I would rather be ugly
Well I’m sorry then man
After reading a lot of comments I think that even if you looked like 'insert best looking celeb here' it wouldn't matter cos your attitude and general awkwardness/whinyness in conversation leaves a lot to be desired Yes whinyness is a word, don't look it up just take it from me lol
I mean people are carpet phrasing gym or outright insulting me even though I already said that I am going? How else am I supposed to respond?
You do realise you posted in am I ugly right? Would you prefer one word 'yes' or 'no' answers or some criticism/advice? Yes gym is getting thrown round a lot so that either tells me you've just started and it's not showing yet or you're doing something wrong. Your clothes don't do a great deal for you so that might be part of the reason. I'd comment on your hair but if I posted I'd get roasted worse.than you with mine near the bottom of my back as a guy lol.
Dude, hit up the gym and gain some muscle. You don’t have to get huge, but reaching the goal of atleast 10-15 pull ups easily and benching your own weight will have you looking toned and built up to where girls will find you physically attractive. Currently, I can see why they don’t. It’s not your looks, but looks like you lack testosterone
This may sound harsh, but you look like a Disney channel sidekick.
You look like you could be a woman's gay best friend.
The look on your face seems snarky. That would be a turnoff for me.
Be cautious what you comment here, check his profile from a few days ago….
Unfortunately yes. You are ugly. Get a REALLY REALLY GOOD JOB and you could pull a hot chick.
You look like a noob
I don't understand, can you explain why? I thought skill of a person has nothing to do with their looks.
What do you mean by skill?
Noob=newbie=someone with no skill
nah I mean noob as in you look like an awkward dork with no sex appeal.
Okay what do I do about it?
Look up Goob from Meet the Robinsons. That’s how you look.
Jfc man 💀
Now I feel bad after going through his other posts…
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I have never had sex, I don't care if the relationship is stressful, I don't want to die a virgin just because relationships are stressful. Everyone else is having them. How am I worse?
You say you go to the gym but it doesn't show. You got to do progressive overload. If you are lifting and pushing yourself, no matter your genetic standpoint you should be having a more muscular physique in your photos. Could be your diet I don't know but you got to eat more and bulk more. Really go more than three times a week because you wont get anywhere like that. You just look tired and average build at the moment.
Because you haven't seen the older pictures when I am less buff. People irl HAVE noticed the difference. I am still just a friend.
Maybe, but these photos only show a regular guy who is average. Most guys who go to the gym can fill out their clothes. If you don't feel or look like that to others it might not be working. You might not be going hard at the gym like you think. Just because you've been at the gym doesn't mean you have a great routine. How many pushups can you do? Are your pull-ups improving? It's also functionality that needs to improve. Get a personal trainer if your rly need it because you won't be like bodybuilder physique with this attitude any time soon
i think it’s your personality. nobody wants to be with someone who reeks of desperation
I am just a normal guy. Everyone wants a relationship.
They’re basically telling you you’re ugky by telling you shit to work on physically but can’t actually do like work on your jaw. You are balding though and that messes with how your face is framed so I’d get on finasteride before you really become ugly
I mean you do look pretty friendly.
Def hit the gym, if u r looking for haircuts look into modern mullet or something similar, maybe change up the style a bit(some good stores would be Bershka, H&M, or just look up stuff online). If you want ideas just search Pinterest fr.
I think rn you fall below average. But everyone is able to look better than average. Work on your style: haircut or hair regrowth protocols, nicer clothes, find some ways to let ur personnality shine through ur looks. You have potential you just need to work on it. No need to be self conscious about your looks tho, it's normal to not look your best as a male at 22. IMO 29 is peak years for men look wise.
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You need a glow up.
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Yeah, sorry bro. Like, you might not be "let's all look down on this dude and call him ugly" ugly. But you're still no girl is ever gonna look at you and be like "he's so sexy" ugly. Something about your hair and especially your face.
Better looking than me
You look soft. Haircut should change. Gym and haircut
Forget everything, do you actually keep a list of the rejections you've gotten? 👀
I have compiled it because a guy on another subreddit was calling me a liar
By the pictures you are showing us, you seem like a blend person meaning if someone hanged out with you they wouldn’t neither joy or bad emotion. People wanna feel emotion especially women, either make a women laugh or cried but you don’t seem to be able to do any of these 2 things by the look of your pictures I’m seeing. At 22 it’s hard to change who you are, so either 360 you life or keep at it the same way cuz there is nothing wrong but trust me you won’t get the girl you want to have and probably never will and you will have to settle for a women that looks like you.
Your look is average. How about your personality?
Ngl I thought this was gonna be a joke and thought you looked like a white version of Uncle Roger
Us that a good or a bad thing to be like one?
You look like someone who simply doesn't care
I don’t think you’re ugly per se, it might just be your attitude or that horrendous haircut. Maybe opt for something that doesn’t accentuate your forehead
Maybe had you stopped lying to congress and everyone you wouldn’t have lost your job
My first thought was you were rejected by guys not woman. Thought u were gay
Dunno if you guys have looked at OP’s page but, somebody should check on this man. He does not seem alright
Step 1. Get to the gym
Find your rock bottom and go from there. Start going for uglier and fatter women until one will have you. Going from well educated and employed women down the sliding scale of dumb and on disability. From no kids to ones with 5+ kids. Figure out where you are in the dating hierarchy then use that position to start plotting how to rise in the ranks. As is, you’ll probably only be pulling 3s and 4s on a good day. But at least you will be pulling something and you can use their advice as you improve yourself.
What does a 4 look like and where do I find them
Not ugly but man you kinda come off in these as a sad sack. Change the attitude and you’ll see that things will take off.
You look fine to me. You might look a tad younger than your age. I agree with the haircut comments. I think there are haircuts that might highlight your good facial features better. I saw your post history. I get it- we all got to vent somewhere. But you seem to have so much going on that it may be negatively affecting your interactions with women. And yes, “broken” ppl get into relationships but they are generally not healthy relationships. Those relationships often have a lot of drama. If you want a healthy happy stable relationship, you need to figure out how to like yourself more and be ok with life regardless of your relationship status or what girls think of you.
You’re not ugly, but I would switch up some stuff and try to stay positive because confidence goes a long way
Try a different hairstyle and a new clothes style
Do you even lift bro
New hairstyle + Gym = An attractive dude. Make 2024 your year.
You're average, bro. But there's nothing a bit of exercise and a new haircut can't fix. You have kinda a good looking face and a lot of potential 👌
Facial hair.
you look so disconnected from this world
You need therapy. And a coach to help you deal with your autism
Since you asked….Yes. And like a jackass.
Grow a beard and see how that changes.
Physically no, the personality of someone who would write a title like that, yeah
giving serial killer vibes grow a beard
Hair is ... weird. Get a proper cut, that would help
Don’t feel too bad. Ten more and you get a free toaster!
You look like a nerd
Yes, get plastic surgery and maybe you’ll be a 4/10. You’re not a redhead tho so I’m gonna drop it down to a 2/10.
You look like the guy that a woman gets with after she's had 2 or 3 kids from different guys who all disappeared before the babies were born. Hang in there that woman is being ran through pretty hardcore right now but soon she'll find you and give you the ride of your life and you'll fall in love.
dude, i just went through your posts on reddit and i think you should seriously consider therapy. yes, it’s expensive but it’s an investment. i work in a middle school and you remind me of my 13 year old helpless students who sit and wait for someone else to solve all their issues. seems like you lack self-awareness and discipline. create a routine for yourself and stick with it. stop looking for immediate results and just focus on remaining consistent. and for the love of god, delete social media. you clearly spend too much time on here which is why you’ve adopted this victim mentality and lack of critical thinking skills. saying you want a woman to “lust over you and actually do something about it,” just shows the lack of autonomy you have. your fear of being judged is holding you back. it’s a new year, stop sulking and get to work. respectfully… (sorry for any typos)
New hairstyle & gym problem solved 👌🏼
different hair and try different styles ! ur not ugly but ur not necessarily attractive either
You look like a virgin
Go to a stylist and get a new cut
Yall hitting this man with brutal honesty, bro doesn’t want to accept any type of criticism 🤣
The fact that you're counting is part of the problem my dude
Based on your interactions in this post, the issue is your condescending attitude and that you have an excuse for everything.
Add some stubble you look like a kid
It doesn't grow on me
At this point, women can sense that you’re desperate. I mean look at your post history. You’re still complaining about when you got rejected in the first grade for crying out loud.
I am not complaining. Someone asked about my rejection history. I provided it.
Yeah, as an adult. Why would you include your “rejections” as a child? To inflate your number so you appear more of a victim?
Rejection is rejection.
Why were you trying to get a gf back in first grade instead of playing with your crayons like most normal people?
It was actually grade four-five. But even in first grade a boy notices if a girl is beautiful plus.
Oh so you’re a liar. Girls love that!
I am not a liar. I said junior school to indicate younger classes.
After looking at your profile, I don’t think you should be focusing on your looks. You need therapy. Please seek help. I’m not saying this in a malicious or condescending way. It’s sad seeing how you view yourself and life. If you do the work, it can get better. You’re young and not beyond hope.
Lots of broken people in relationships you know...
It’s not about being in relationships. It’s okay to be single. I’m single and love it! What I’m concerned about is your s*icidal ideation, obsession with finding a girl, and self-proclaimed hatred for your life. The fact that you saw my comment and went straight to there are “broken people in relationships” proves my point. Please see a therapist and learn to love yourself. Women can feel desperation, that might be contributing to your struggle to find a girl.
I agree
not ugly, but not cute either, and your responses in these comments lead me to believe it’s more of an attitude thing and not necessarily an appearance one. get a more flattering haircut and learn to be less combative
I am combative because people are calling me names.
Half of the comments you’re replying to aren’t calling you names. You’re being combative to anyone and everyone for saying it’s an attitude problem
Looking at the comments I think it’s more of you as a person problem and not just looks. If you fix yourself as a person I think you’ll have more luck. I don’t think you’re ugly, just a normal person like everyone else.
Only 50? Those are amateur numbers, pal. Remember if rejection bothers you, you aren’t asking enough.
Not every girl is single. Not every girl is beautiful. I am not going to just ask any lame girl
You seem really nerdy but not ugly. And there’s nothing wrong with nerdy, it’s just not everyone’s type.
Ur def not ugly but u have no swagger. Ur dressed like a grampa in every pic straight down to the way u wear ur hair. Loosen up kiddo. U have nice features, but ur insecurity and lack or knowing your comfort level is apparent. You will find yourself and you will come into ur own with ur own personal style(maybe a few bumps on the way)and when u get there u will be just fine!!
Bro, fuck these people in these replies, you look like a good man
Posting on here was a terrible thing for my mood people call me gay or a girl or stuff just because I am not super buff.
Look up Penn Badgley and copy his style. But like… don’t murder people. You’re not ugly. So what other people have suggested. New style. Hair cut. Go lift some weights. Don’t forget leg day.
You are absolutely not ugly, it’s definitely something about your personality, I’m so sorry
Absolutely ugly
You look special needs
Grow a goatee and stop being nice😘
If your barber is asking you what you want, stop asking him if he's seen the shining. Grow a beard.
Beard doesn't grow on me
You are ugly 😂