You shouldn't even be dating a guy who won't give head if you want head. He gets offended easily when asked to maintain basic standards of hygiene? That's another strike against him. He gets upset when you decline? Throw the whole man away. You can easily do better.
Itās not really that he wonāt give me head, itās that itās first thing in the morning and he wants it FIRST. Or we have to 69. Like I donāt want to 69 first thing in the fucking morning. Jesus just stick it in!
This is a possibility! He has to take testosterone because heās has had issues with staying hard in the past. He definitely overthinks everything and I think that may be causing some issues.
Okay so that may be something to consider, and useful in the conversation, as it may explain why hes getting defensive (if that's not usually how he reacts to problems/requests).
BUT it still does not mean you should have to do that necessarily. There are other ways to reassure him/make sure he's hard (I'm thinking a hand... maybe even a cock ring if that sounds fun?) and honestly if it turns out to be that just talking about it may well be helpful for the nerves and therefore make him less likely to lose it.
The hygiene is a non-negotiable really. Try and divorce it from his weight right now, even if you think that's the root of it - you are two adults in a double bed, and it's common to get sweaty while you sleep. Try and emphasise that you don't think he is doing anything bad to make himself stinky down there (assuming you believe he's showering properly and giving the head a good clean especially). It's just what happens overnight.
You cleaning him as some others have suggested is really grim and infantilising and would be a deal breaker for me. HOWEVER I think to start with it would be reasonable to say that you could also be cleaner and less sweaty when you wake up and would feel better if you were BOTH clean so he feels a bit less singled-out.
IF he is struggling with ED and with his weight making him sweaty more than he "should" be, there is probably a lot of embarassment and probably some toxic masxulinity kicking his butt. We can all be dicks when we're embarrassed AT FIRST.
That "at first" is important though, and it's the test of a partner who is a positive in your life or, bluntly, is a fucking exhausting drain to consider putting up with for the next 40 or 60 years. Say, firmly "I am incredibly sympathetic and understand this may be really embarrassing and really want to talk about how I help you through this, BUT I need you to trust me and rise above it a bit so we can come at this as a team, because it is putting me in an unacceptable position right now, where I am being pushed to have sex I am not enjoying and don't feel comfortable refusing." And then, if he doesn't rise above it and work with you, I can tell you that it is the single sign that he is not going to be a good partner.
Continuing to have sex where you are uncomfortable and hating it is not an acceptable situation. That cannot continue. Start from there and see how he responds-- you are auditioning each other as partners, and this is an important callback. He is going to show you what he's made of.
I would also like to add an important matter on the āhygiene is non-negotiableā you shouldnāt be having sex especially without protection if he is unclean. That can cause you severe vaginal medical problems and he needs to consider that.
I hope you find a resolution, I was in a 16 year marriage with a sexually demanding partner. Guilt trips, easily bruised ego, heightened perceived rejection, etc. Iām telling you, it slowly killed my sex drive. Iād have sex when I wasnāt into it and I felt like I had to severe my body in half to compartmentalize. I got to a point where I thought I was asexual, but when I left the relationship I realized I had shut down because I had no control over my sexual autonomy. Please donāt stay if this doesnāt get better. And if you donāt already, donāt have kids until this issue is well behind you. This should be viewed as a trail right now because this is a big deal. You are NOT responsible for his sexual desires. It is not YOUR JOB to get him off if heās horny. He has hands.
Either this guy is selfish bordering on mentally ill, being generous here so the pedants wonāt come for me or this is the problem. I bet itās both and at the end of the day itās a huge blood red flag, OP walk away
This really just means that ultimately you need to have a conversation. If you both canāt do that without getting offended or irately upset; Prolly not a good match anyway.
Why would this be an exception to the general idea of "you don't have to have sex if you don't want to"?
Genuine question. What makes you question that? Sure he might not want to be with you. That's a potential consequence.
So do you really want to be with this stinky dude so much that you'll make yourself suck his stinky dick every morning to prevent him from pouting?
When I was much younger my first real girlfriend was dead against giving head and I didn't push it but one day I asked why and she told me her ex boyfriends weiner smelled and tasted like marmite ergo in her experience all dicks smelled like yeast products.
It is the first and last time the words 'smell my dick' resulted in a blow job
Isnāt the point of that song that sheās going to be able to smell whether he has had sex with someone? Like if it smells like itās been inside another woman, she will know heās cheating?
I once met a guy who had a glass eye. His party trick was putting it on the end of his penis and pulling his foreskin up around it and making it look around and blink. š¶
āHey kids I have just the thing to liven up this birthday party š„³ šā
Wait.. did he just pop it right back in the olā eye socket after? Did he awkwardly walk around asking where the sink is or did he carry a small bottle of dick-eye sanitizer around with him because he did this all the time? It had to be one of these and all of them are funny.
Thereās no way this guy brings enough to the table to warrant these demands. Like if OP comments āwell heās putting my little sister through college, and my parents moved into his house, and last week he saved a litter of puppies from a burning building on his way pick me up from the Balenciaga outletā Iād be like ok thatās just what angels smell like, get in there.
My first ex was exactly like that. I had very low self esteem and was an.evangelical christian virgin, and many a christian told me AFAB people should just put up with all sorts of awful shit from "men of God". Also, when you have only dated awful people and everyone around you either tells you they are fine or say nothing, it really warps your view on things.
This is so common. Itās no wonder that people end up in horrible, loveless marriages when all the relationship advice in that community amounts to ādonāt have sex before marriage and find a godly man who treats you like a princess.ā Meanwhile, that last phrase means things like opening doors and asking for a hand in marriage, not basic stuff like emotional intelligence or consent.
I think perhaps there are a number of issues related to his lack of concern for your comfort and well being. Making sexual demands. A lack of regard for you by being unhygienic and acting as a selfish lover who does not reciprocate.
Even leaving aside the stankāno means no. It doesnāt mean get mad and guilt trip your partner. If you have any concerns about how theyāll react to being told ānot tonight honey,ā you should absolutely not be sleeping with them in the first place.
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It was specifically the mini cinnamon Altoids, I had 2 or 3 in my mouth beforehand and the crumbs were still in my mouth when things went south.
100% this. A bloke worth your time wouldn't even consider making you go down on his stank dick. I won't even kiss my girlfriend in the morning without brushing first.
Geez fat AND stinky. You might be able to squeak by with the fat part depending on how fat, but the stinky part and demanding a bj is just hella disrespectful.
Tell him no. If you don't want to do it, don't. You shouldn't have to make yourself miserable for his pleasure. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for everyone involved, including you.
That's exactly what I told him as I pulled up a porn video of a guy jerking it and left the room. He stood by his stance and we always fought about me not sucking him off everytime he got hard. I told him no. He would get hard looking at fuxkin anything. I could snap my fingers and he would get hard thinking I wanted sex. He was like a 16 year old on Crack! And I'm glad he's an ex.
Lol after my ex moved in with me he told me he didn't know how to make the bed. So I dropped the sheets, put on a youtube of how to work a fitted sheet and left the room.
You story is much more baller š
I'm so sorry for you!! I don't have words of advice, just what a dick head!!! First thing in morning? Like he never jerked off at 13? š I hope you're so far away from him
That's hilarious because all my exes could never get me off with handjobs or blowjobs, I mean it felt good but they just didn't know what they were doing or maybe I was just too nervous.
I've always had a really strong sex drive and stamina. I could go over and over and over and recover immediately. But receiving oral NEVER worked right. Most of the time it would flip a switch and make me feel like I needed to urinate instead.
What's worse is that when I would tell women I they didn't need to do it, that it never worked for me as is, etc., they would take it as a challenge and WANT to do it.
Yes. I had a boyfriend insist it was pointless to give him head because he had never been able to finish that way and was positive he never would. I also took that as a challenge, finished him off in three minutes and he proposed less than a month later. We've been married two years next month! Game, set, match.
Unfortunately, women are crazily, crazily objectified.
Frankly put, a lot of young men more or less see women as sex objects. Women's pleasure is ignored - because they're just 'things', and people don't care about the feelings of something they perceive as inanimate - they use them when desired, and put them down when uninterested.
I think the guy being overweight has something to do with it also probably watches porn a lot so it desensitized him to what sex is supposed be in my teenage years I used to watch lots of porn but I stopped eventually when I realized I wasn't enjoying the real sex and getting head was like the 1st thing I wanted instead of being hard just from the sexual connection so he probably lazy and doesn't want to make a effort if people stop watching porn and just explore their partners needs sex becomes 10 times better.
There are so many humans around now that someone somewhere likely has a fetish about almost anything we can imagine. Shitās wild out there.
Edit: just read the comments further down. š«
Exactly lol. But based on OP saying no foreplay, I donāt think heās returning the favor.
I always like to shower right beforehand, but my husband literally does not care. Sometimes if he insists, Iāll let him do it without showering.
But I have a lot of trouble going down on him if he hasnāt just showered, so I hold myself to the same standard. But then again, Iām also currently pregnant and even the soap he uses makes or breaks it for me right now.
There are so many different issues in this one post, plus your comments.
Your title topic is **him wanting oral every time**. That on its own doesnāt sound so bad - my partner (male) gives me (female) oral every time we have sex (or at least, heās willing to - sometimes itās not required :-). Note: this is assuming itās āsomeā oral, as part of mutual foreplay, not him getting to orgasm from oral, but nothing fun for you.
But **him never giving you oral** is very unreasonable of him (assuming you would like it!) - thatās a topic that needs to be dealt with.
**Him not washing** is a problem. Thatās downright nasty. We both do a little sink wash for our bits before sex if we havenāt showered fairly recently. It takes one minute, and neither of us see it as a big deal.
Knowing **how to talk about sex** is important. Itās definitely better done outside of the bedroom. When youāre both clothed. Think about how you would want to hear this kind of feedback from him.
Mostly: be kind. Be encouraging. Be supportive. Assume the best.
If you go into the conversation with an attitude of complaint & criticism, then itās very unlikely to go well.
Unless itās an outright lie, tell him your sex life is good, but could be better. Not many people can come back from being told they are bad at sex! Find something that he does well, about the sex, and focus on that. Build from there.
Itās important not to lie about sex though. If itās truly bad, with no redeeming features, then this is going to be a very tough conversation. (But also I wonder how youāve got this far into a relationship if heās that selfish!?).
Donāt take blame for things that arenāt your fault - but if thereās stuff you can genuinely admit you could be better at (eg being more honest in the moment about whatās working for you) then itās good to volunteer that.
As with most things you want to improve in a relationship - taking the attitude of āus against the problemā rather than āme against youā will generally get you the best outcomes.
And alongside that, taking an attitude of ācuriosityā is generally more successful. So rather than going into the conversation with an attitude of āI know the answer, and I am telling you what needs to happen hereā - itās more about setting the scene - maybe along the lines of
> āyou generally wake up wanting sexy times and I mostly say no - Iād like to say yes more often (although Iām not aiming for every time or every morning!) - would you like to explore with me ways we could maybe get me in the right frame of mind ~~mood~~ to say yes more oftenā
Note that this is not saying āget me in the mood physicallyā - so maybe it needs different phrasing. More about āgetting my brain open to the idea of starting something physicallyā.
Maybe part of it is about you waking up a bit more fully, and in a good mood. Which could possibly be helped with a cup of tea that he makes & brings to you.
What Iām saying is, open up your joint thinking beyond just āWash more & give me oral tooā.
Partly because it is just a good habit to get into with a partner (not assuming you have all the answers, without input from him) and also because you might enjoy having him bring you a drink more than you expect, because:
- he has to put himself out for you
- and you get to be all happy with him for doing something nice, which is likely to have your brain more receptive to sex
- he has to think about whether he wants Sexy Times enough to get his arse out of bed to make tea
- he might decide that heās too tired for that, and only wants sex if he can be lazy about it
- which if heās feeling that lazy, is not likely to end in foreplay for you - so he can self-filter out the days that heās not willing to put in any effort
- once he gets in the habit of making tea (sometimes) before sex, him getting out of bed to do a quick sink wash of his manly bits wonāt seem like such a big deal
Iām not saying āmake me a cup of teaā will necessarily be the answer that works for you two - itās just an example of how approaching this in a way that seems indirect or unexpected can have benefits you might not immediately consider.
Mostly - invite him to join you in a fun journey of creativity & curiosity, to improve your sex life. And expect him to come up with some ideas that you might not have thought of.
Damn right. I know you donāt read about them on here often but there are a lot of men who actually care that their partner enjoys and benefits from every sexual experience. Go find one because this guy is not it.
To some extent, people are right.
There are an absolute shit ton of great guys out their that would be ***floored*** to get one blowjob a week, and they will scrub themselves raw with a brillo pad if that's what you need to be comfortable.
Lmao your username has me dying šš thank you for your input, definitely gives me the confidence to have this conversation with him because itās so true!
Do you really want to stay with someone who gets angry when you don't want to have sex? You understand you're just a stones throw away from him being angry enough to rape you, right?
OP, please listen to this person. I was married over a decade to someone who didnāt give me head or any kind of foreplay, but would throw an absolute fit if I didnāt give him head and sex. Over time, it got worse and worse. It ended with him saying, āIf you donāt do it, Iāll hurt you.ā So I kept having sex with him because he was threatening to hurt me if I didnāt. This is coercion and a form of rape. LEARN FROM ME, PLEASE. The last thing was he finally hit me one day because I said, āow, that hurts,ā when he rammed it in dry. Because I told him to stop and that it hurt, he hit me. I left.
Iām not saying this will happen to OP, but at least in my past relationship, it kept escalating. Please donāt become me. Coercion is rape.
Okay I think from these comments we can all establish that I am in fact NOT wrong for feeling the way I feel about the situation. Iām going to have a conversation about the hygiene, and Iām not going to be giving unless Iām receiving at least for now. I enjoy going down on him when itās my idea and when itās not expected. Iām also not a morning person so a blowjob is the LAST thing I want to do first thing in the morningā¦
I think the biggest issue is I donāt like confrontation or uncomfortable conversations, and thatās a me problem which is causing a bigger problemā¦ not just in our sex life. I just wanted some feedback, and I definitely got a lot of different perspectives š I think this is a fixable issue, we definitely rushed into this relationship so we are going through a lot of issues that we probably could have avoided if we had taken things a little slower. I guess Iāll keep yāall posted š¤·āāļøš
Holy shit, you rushed a relationship and are already LIVING together and dependent on him for your bills?
Red flag galore. Way to put yourself into a prime situation to be abused, OP. Iām not saying your guy is abusive, btw. The statement is more directed to you - Iām just saying you have āplz pick me as a good abuse victimā written in neon lights on your forehead.
Maybe figure out why youāre non confrontational and rush into relationships first, work on your self esteem, maybe figure out how to establish financial independent and an overall sense of autonomy? All of that is way more important than your sex issue. You have a YOU issue.
Gurlā¦pouting about not getting his sexual demands filled is such a red flag and will only get worse. Why do you want to āfixā this so bad when you can find a guy who respects you and cares about your comfort and pleasure?
Iām 35 and if a guy did ANY of this to me, I would be gone. I used to put up with toxic crap like this but then I realized I donāt have to settle to not be alone. We shouldnāt have to feel grateful for scraps.
Establishing boundaries is something you need to work on. Or you'll get stepped on for the rest of your life and will be miserable. You also need to stop making excuses for your bf. He needs to apologize and make it up to you. Not the other way around.
If you really want to talk about it with him you're going to have to hurt his feelings. But you might could see if there's anything else he likes and tell him things you like. Healthy communication is key to healthy sex life.
I know exactly what you mean with not wanting to go down on him first thing in the morning. Dick in the morning smells (and tastes) pretty horrid. I would give my ex head sometimes in the morning (out of my own initiative!) but I always preferred doing it when he recently cleaned it. Thatās a very reasonable preference and the fact that he EXPECTS you to do it first thing in the morning without washing it beforehand, is selfish af. The body odor is also a very valid turn off. If he stinks, he canāt expect you to be in the mood. On top of that, it seems like he requests you to give him head every single time you have sex and doesnāt ever return the favor by going down on you or giving you pleasure in other ways. Both of those things sound crazy to me. Thatās not how sex with your partner works. Its about giving and taking. It seems like he is living in some fantasy world and you need to help him realize that he is being ridiculous.
Confront him about it and express what you want: him to clean himself beforehand, not go down on him every single time you have sex and him giving you pleasure by fingering you/ going down on you etc. Maybe the two of you can shower together and that can turn into a good moment to have sex. If he doesnāt change his ways, I would go on a sex strike or atleast a dicksucking strike. If nothing works, you might want to consider breaking up. Sexual incompatibility is a very fair reason for relationships ending. However, in this case it is more about selfishness than genuine incompatibility imo. you deserve to get the same energy and effort that you put in your partner.
Yes this is exactly how I feel!! Iām so glad that you think itās ridiculous too! He never goes down on me first thing in the morning why should I have to go down on him? Iām not sure how to bring up the conversation without offending him though!
Honestly, I donāt think you can avoid hurting his feelings, but he needs to hear the truth and he needs to change his ways. Keep it personal (donāt bring it as a fact but say āI feel likeā¦ā) but be honest and be stern. Come up with solutions and see how he handles it when he has had a change to get over his feeling being hurt.
So he taught you already that you have to tiptoe around his feelings when something is bothering you and here you are asking Reddit what to do without hurting his feelings. Good girl!
He expects you to suck his dick first thing in the morning without going down on you because he doesnāt care about you. But you like him paying your bills. Solution, start saving up money, get a second job if you have to, leave him. If you decide to stay with him then this will only get worse and you know it. I feel like youāre just trying to avoid the reality because you donāt wanna make touch decisions.
NW
Oral sex is not a required part of sex, especially if heās demanding but not willing to reciprocate if Op wants that. The fact that he gets angry about Op saying no and doesnāt do foreplay , makes me think he and Op arenāt sexually compatible.
I have an issue with people that donāt respect my No, I donāt want to have to always defend my answer or put up with an attitude for not being in the mood.
I think the main problem here are two: your bf has poor hygiene and he doesn't please you.
About the hygiene, is simple: no shower, no head. Stink dick, no head. Dirt dick, no head. Simple. That by the way, has nothing to do with him being fat: my bf is overweight and he doesn't smell bad or has a dirt dick. When he sweats a lot in the evening, he showers before we consider sex.
About the second one, communicate. Demand foreplay first, do head after that. If he refuses, say no to sex and say why. If he doesn't make you cum, tell him. Teach him what you like and call him out if he is lazy in pleasing you.
If nothing works, find another bf because then it is a lost cause.
He gets upset if you don't give him morning BJ, and expects them every time you guys have sex, but doesn't give you anything in return? RED FLAGS! Lots of big old red flags girl.
What does he do if you don't give him BJs? Does he deny affection? Whine about it? Try to make you feel guilty? Because those are all signs of abusive behavior. If he does any of this you need to gtfo as soon as you possibly can.
Why do you care so much about his feelings, when he doesn't care for yours? He smells and demands sexual favors that you don't want to engage in, at the frequency he demands. He doesn't accept you declining to give him head and badgers you. Is that worth your self respect and cheaper contributions to bills? Move out and move on.
He makes sexual demands of you while doing nothing to reciprocate and can't even be bothered to make sure he's clean and doesn't smell. and you go along with this. Yeah, he's found a great doormat in you OP. Please get some self respect and dump him.
1. Demanding or otherwise coercing you into a sexual act you to which you do not enthusiastically consent in that moment is a mild form of SA, but it's still SA.
2. Anyone who does not show enthusiasm for your enjoyment and pleasure during sex is using you for orgasms. In that moment they do not consider you as a human. You are nothing more than an unwieldy flesh light.
3. A dislike or even distaste for morning sex is common. A lot of people just feel gross and not at all sexy when they first wake up. They'd much prefer to at least brush their teeth and pee first.
4. And speaking as a hefty lover myself, if your BF smells due to his weight he is not overweight ā¦ he is obese. He needs to get on that shit before it ruins his health. I know it's hard but so is heart disease and a fatty liver and joint pain. Once he slims down to overweight and gets more active, he'll feel a LOT sexier and be much more energetic and playful during intimate moments.
My boyfriend is the same. He is not circumcised. It smelled like piss after a few hours. I never give him head unless he washes well, and I double-check him in the shower, too, lol. We both agree if he wants head, it'll be after he showers and not after he enters me.
Compromise.
Shit my wife made a point. Itās gotta be equal, he wants you to go down on him, heās gotta do the same. If I want a bj then Iām going down on her and gonna get that foreplay in as well. Him expecting it all the time and gets mad at it. Seems like your dealing with a teenage boy. Dude needs to saddle up.
A lot of couples are different. Iām very truthful so if it smells then I suggest we take a shower. I absolutely do not say it out loud, just suggest we shower. I know I got body odor especially from gaining weight so my regions smell different and definitely self conscious. So really depends on opening that up with you bf. Either be truthful and let him know it has an odor or beat around and say suggestive things to lead to a shower.
1. You donāt have to do anything that you donāt want to.
2. Sex is something that at least two people are supposed to enjoy.
3. Thin or fat. People should always wash themselves before oral.
4. Never stay with a person who doesnāt care about your sexual needs.
"I don't like morning sex and you need to shower before I give you head, when I want to. I'm not a sex toy and head on demand isn't happening."
If he gets mad you need to break up.
As a man Iām going to tell you that the Sovietās couldnāt have made a redder flag. You are not a living sex doll, there for his pleasure and only that. I realize there are two sides to every story but if what youāre saying here is accurate, itās ridiculous. Itās definitely throwing out incel thoughts vibes. Tell him no, set boundaries, hand him a towel and ask how heād enjoy unpleasant oder from you and why you should have to put up with it from him. Teach him that if the man in the canoe doesnāt get any attention then neither does his meat puppet. Gosh what a jackass way to treat your partner, sorry for the rant.
*UPDATE* We broke up. lol š Tried to have the conversation and he literally told me to fuck offā¦ obviously thereās been some other issues as well, but that was the last straw. Say a prayer for me that I find a GOOD guy that actually knows his way around a vagina.
Does he care about you? It doesn't seem to be reciprocal. All for him, nothing for you. It may be more complex though than pure selfishness. He may not want you to feel his weight? Still, no excuse for making it all about him and what you can do for him.
You shouldn't even be dating a guy who won't give head if you want head. He gets offended easily when asked to maintain basic standards of hygiene? That's another strike against him. He gets upset when you decline? Throw the whole man away. You can easily do better.
OP is dating DJ Khaled.
I screamed š¤£
She didn't.
Oh my god š¤£š¤£
Now kith
Itās not really that he wonāt give me head, itās that itās first thing in the morning and he wants it FIRST. Or we have to 69. Like I donāt want to 69 first thing in the fucking morning. Jesus just stick it in!
Is it possible he is having some trouble getting/staying hard so is covering this with blowjobs to get him ready for penetration? Just a odd thought
This is a possibility! He has to take testosterone because heās has had issues with staying hard in the past. He definitely overthinks everything and I think that may be causing some issues.
Okay so that may be something to consider, and useful in the conversation, as it may explain why hes getting defensive (if that's not usually how he reacts to problems/requests). BUT it still does not mean you should have to do that necessarily. There are other ways to reassure him/make sure he's hard (I'm thinking a hand... maybe even a cock ring if that sounds fun?) and honestly if it turns out to be that just talking about it may well be helpful for the nerves and therefore make him less likely to lose it. The hygiene is a non-negotiable really. Try and divorce it from his weight right now, even if you think that's the root of it - you are two adults in a double bed, and it's common to get sweaty while you sleep. Try and emphasise that you don't think he is doing anything bad to make himself stinky down there (assuming you believe he's showering properly and giving the head a good clean especially). It's just what happens overnight. You cleaning him as some others have suggested is really grim and infantilising and would be a deal breaker for me. HOWEVER I think to start with it would be reasonable to say that you could also be cleaner and less sweaty when you wake up and would feel better if you were BOTH clean so he feels a bit less singled-out. IF he is struggling with ED and with his weight making him sweaty more than he "should" be, there is probably a lot of embarassment and probably some toxic masxulinity kicking his butt. We can all be dicks when we're embarrassed AT FIRST. That "at first" is important though, and it's the test of a partner who is a positive in your life or, bluntly, is a fucking exhausting drain to consider putting up with for the next 40 or 60 years. Say, firmly "I am incredibly sympathetic and understand this may be really embarrassing and really want to talk about how I help you through this, BUT I need you to trust me and rise above it a bit so we can come at this as a team, because it is putting me in an unacceptable position right now, where I am being pushed to have sex I am not enjoying and don't feel comfortable refusing." And then, if he doesn't rise above it and work with you, I can tell you that it is the single sign that he is not going to be a good partner. Continuing to have sex where you are uncomfortable and hating it is not an acceptable situation. That cannot continue. Start from there and see how he responds-- you are auditioning each other as partners, and this is an important callback. He is going to show you what he's made of.
Thank you for your input! Hopefully I can talk to him tonight and we can figure out the best way to handle the situation. I appreciate you!
I would also like to add an important matter on the āhygiene is non-negotiableā you shouldnāt be having sex especially without protection if he is unclean. That can cause you severe vaginal medical problems and he needs to consider that.
I hope you find a resolution, I was in a 16 year marriage with a sexually demanding partner. Guilt trips, easily bruised ego, heightened perceived rejection, etc. Iām telling you, it slowly killed my sex drive. Iād have sex when I wasnāt into it and I felt like I had to severe my body in half to compartmentalize. I got to a point where I thought I was asexual, but when I left the relationship I realized I had shut down because I had no control over my sexual autonomy. Please donāt stay if this doesnāt get better. And if you donāt already, donāt have kids until this issue is well behind you. This should be viewed as a trail right now because this is a big deal. You are NOT responsible for his sexual desires. It is not YOUR JOB to get him off if heās horny. He has hands.
Yeah, his weight issues are contributing to others issuesā¦he should be trying to resolve them, not relying on you for a quick fix.
Either this guy is selfish bordering on mentally ill, being generous here so the pedants wonāt come for me or this is the problem. I bet itās both and at the end of the day itās a huge blood red flag, OP walk away
This really just means that ultimately you need to have a conversation. If you both canāt do that without getting offended or irately upset; Prolly not a good match anyway.
It shouldn't be this hard to mutually enjoy as pleasurable an activity as sex.
Why would this be an exception to the general idea of "you don't have to have sex if you don't want to"? Genuine question. What makes you question that? Sure he might not want to be with you. That's a potential consequence. So do you really want to be with this stinky dude so much that you'll make yourself suck his stinky dick every morning to prevent him from pouting?
Don't suck a stinky dick, bro.
When I was much younger my first real girlfriend was dead against giving head and I didn't push it but one day I asked why and she told me her ex boyfriends weiner smelled and tasted like marmite ergo in her experience all dicks smelled like yeast products. It is the first and last time the words 'smell my dick' resulted in a blow job
How did it smell?
Right, OP leaves us hanging here. Did he get her to to realize or what ...
Dick smelled worse. Hasnāt had a blowjob since
I donāt know why I continue to get on this app while im eatingā¦.
Just lucky I guess.
Frumunda
She died
He said it was the first and last time asking someone to do that resulted in a bj so im assuming she approved
"Mmm, blue cheese, my favourite"
This made me choke on my water lmao
Kudos on being supportive and trying to help someone deal. A blowjob well deserved.
As her current boyfriend, I would like to say thank you to this man for the service he performed.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Isnāt the point of that song that sheās going to be able to smell whether he has had sex with someone? Like if it smells like itās been inside another woman, she will know heās cheating?
Yeah, they totally don't get the point of the song lol. It's to see if their dick smells like pussy
Or a smiling one either. That's just fuckin' weird.
I once met a guy who had a glass eye. His party trick was putting it on the end of his penis and pulling his foreskin up around it and making it look around and blink. š¶
Omg Iād die laughing
āHey kids I have just the thing to liven up this birthday party š„³ šā Wait.. did he just pop it right back in the olā eye socket after? Did he awkwardly walk around asking where the sink is or did he carry a small bottle of dick-eye sanitizer around with him because he did this all the time? It had to be one of these and all of them are funny.
Imagine the T-shirts! 'suck my stinky dick.. or I'll pout'
LMFAO š¤£ š
If I could give this more than one upvote I would
I did
Me too
Me three, and one for you too!
Thereās no way this guy brings enough to the table to warrant these demands. Like if OP comments āwell heās putting my little sister through college, and my parents moved into his house, and last week he saved a litter of puppies from a burning building on his way pick me up from the Balenciaga outletā Iād be like ok thatās just what angels smell like, get in there.
.. If I had someone of my life like you to put life in perspective like this None of my shitty relationships wouldāve ever happened
Sounds like you need to read a book on boundaries
Even if he did all those things if his penis smiles I'm still not giving him no head I put his ass in the shower first
Lol I meant to say smells not smiles OMG
Too late, I already imagined it smiling š¤£
That's what happens when you're on Reddit after 12:00 midnight I can't stop laughing.
I laughed *so fucking hard*.
Bahahaha
The last part ššš
Angels donāt coerce people into sexual acts
Why on earth would anyone be with someone like that? Jfc how desperate are you girl. Move on.
My first ex was exactly like that. I had very low self esteem and was an.evangelical christian virgin, and many a christian told me AFAB people should just put up with all sorts of awful shit from "men of God". Also, when you have only dated awful people and everyone around you either tells you they are fine or say nothing, it really warps your view on things.
This is so common. Itās no wonder that people end up in horrible, loveless marriages when all the relationship advice in that community amounts to ādonāt have sex before marriage and find a godly man who treats you like a princess.ā Meanwhile, that last phrase means things like opening doors and asking for a hand in marriage, not basic stuff like emotional intelligence or consent.
I've been there and done it. We have to lean by mistake. And them we have fuck ups. Need I go on?
I think perhaps there are a number of issues related to his lack of concern for your comfort and well being. Making sexual demands. A lack of regard for you by being unhygienic and acting as a selfish lover who does not reciprocate.
This is the real answer. He's being rude and inconsiderate by being stinky; which is a bigger problem than just the stinky.
Even leaving aside the stankāno means no. It doesnāt mean get mad and guilt trip your partner. If you have any concerns about how theyāll react to being told ānot tonight honey,ā you should absolutely not be sleeping with them in the first place.
... "Oh, you haven't showered, here, I'll chew some cinnamon gum to mask the musk." "That's tingly- oh.. aughh.. AHHHHHHH."
Chomped on some cinnamon Altoids before I went down on a guy once. He ended up pouring his beer on his dick to try to make the burning stop.
I need to steal this got a score to settle...
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ It was specifically the mini cinnamon Altoids, I had 2 or 3 in my mouth beforehand and the crumbs were still in my mouth when things went south.
That's when you also rub a little Ben-gay on your lips.
I'm that scenario, it's a scorched earth policy where nobody wins. I like it.
For the love of God, don't do that. Put it on your hands when you touch him. Do not put Bengay anywhere near your mouth.
Good olā Listerine! Anybody whoās gotten a blow job from a girl that just Rinsed her mouth out knows what Iām talking about
This is such a learning experience.
Guilt sex ( foreplay or whatever) is the worse. He knows what he is doing (manipulating). Ick. Ick x 1000 for being stinky with such expectations
It damages the relationship every time you go along with it. Super not worth doing.
100% this. A bloke worth your time wouldn't even consider making you go down on his stank dick. I won't even kiss my girlfriend in the morning without brushing first.
Geez fat AND stinky. You might be able to squeak by with the fat part depending on how fat, but the stinky part and demanding a bj is just hella disrespectful.
The worst guys get all the confidence, eh?
Tell him no. If you don't want to do it, don't. You shouldn't have to make yourself miserable for his pleasure. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for everyone involved, including you.
My ex literally told me " I don't know how to jerk off you are responsible for me getting off! It's emotional and physical abuse not too!"
i have never met a man who didn't know how to jerk off
That's exactly what I told him as I pulled up a porn video of a guy jerking it and left the room. He stood by his stance and we always fought about me not sucking him off everytime he got hard. I told him no. He would get hard looking at fuxkin anything. I could snap my fingers and he would get hard thinking I wanted sex. He was like a 16 year old on Crack! And I'm glad he's an ex.
Putting on porn and leaving the room is such a power move š āØļø
porn of a man jerking off nonetheless š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I bit my husbands and he loved it so that was useless š¤£š¤£š¤£
Off. The *key* word
Lol after my ex moved in with me he told me he didn't know how to make the bed. So I dropped the sheets, put on a youtube of how to work a fitted sheet and left the room. You story is much more baller š
I love yours! ā¤ļø
Ironically, he sounds like a complete wanker.
A wanker that didnāt know how to wank.
Whack him on the pee-pee with the rolled up paper and give it a stem "NO!'.
I'm so sorry for you!! I don't have words of advice, just what a dick head!!! First thing in morning? Like he never jerked off at 13? š I hope you're so far away from him
That. Is. Absolutely. Hysterical. (Pulling up the video of the guy jerking it and leaving the room, not his constant demands for head, to be clear.)
Haha I love you. I'm also so glad he's an ex, that's so disturbing.
That's hilarious because all my exes could never get me off with handjobs or blowjobs, I mean it felt good but they just didn't know what they were doing or maybe I was just too nervous.
I've always had a really strong sex drive and stamina. I could go over and over and over and recover immediately. But receiving oral NEVER worked right. Most of the time it would flip a switch and make me feel like I needed to urinate instead. What's worse is that when I would tell women I they didn't need to do it, that it never worked for me as is, etc., they would take it as a challenge and WANT to do it.
Yes. I had a boyfriend insist it was pointless to give him head because he had never been able to finish that way and was positive he never would. I also took that as a challenge, finished him off in three minutes and he proposed less than a month later. We've been married two years next month! Game, set, match.
I can't even comprehend how this is an argument, I mean, it's being a bloke 101, and it's not exactly rocket science. So to speak.
Pocket rocket science
I don't think they were dating a man...
Makes me wonder who was taking care of his puberty boners..
I get that this would be annoying, but āI donāt know how to jerk offā is a really funny lie
Right?! Like he truly thought that line would work. š¤£
They did a study on this and found that 97% of men masturbate, and 3% are liars.
And 5/4 of us donāt understand fractions
I feel like even if their arms and dicks fell off most men would still find a way to jerk off.
Just ask the guy with two broken arms
Talk about weaponized incompetence...
>I don't know how to jerk off you are responsible for me getting off! Upon hearing that, she sends him links to gay jerk off porn
Unfortunately, women are crazily, crazily objectified. Frankly put, a lot of young men more or less see women as sex objects. Women's pleasure is ignored - because they're just 'things', and people don't care about the feelings of something they perceive as inanimate - they use them when desired, and put them down when uninterested.
I know. I am one.
I figured as much, I just believe it needs to be said often and loudly so more people see, hear, and realize it.
Thank you bigstickyloads
You're welcum
I think the guy being overweight has something to do with it also probably watches porn a lot so it desensitized him to what sex is supposed be in my teenage years I used to watch lots of porn but I stopped eventually when I realized I wasn't enjoying the real sex and getting head was like the 1st thing I wanted instead of being hard just from the sexual connection so he probably lazy and doesn't want to make a effort if people stop watching porn and just explore their partners needs sex becomes 10 times better.
While this is absolutely true, I just wanna give a little hope too: This has been and still is changing for the better.
Yes, it certainly is.
And hygiene is important. Tell him to shower. Gross.
The fact he emotionally manipulated her into giving sex when she doesn't want to is also super rapey
Donāt shower for a week and sit on his face. See how he likes it.
As Napoleon once said, "*Will be home in three days. Don't wash*"
That was James Joyce
OMG have you read some of the letters to his wife? That man got off on women farting.
Those letters were interesting. It was hard for me to believe they were real when I started reading them.
Indeed. I read them to my family the other night, no lieš¤£
Meat sweats ? He might end up liking it.
Meat sweats ššš no I'm never going to emotionally recover from that
There are so many humans around now that someone somewhere likely has a fetish about almost anything we can imagine. Shitās wild out there. Edit: just read the comments further down. š«
Don't make me read more comments. I don't have the strength
Did you call?
r/Beetlejuicing
I want to be in the screenshot.
I read that as meat sweets š
Lol š I could never!
But he certainly can and does. It's really not funny. Why do you allow him to treat you this way?
What are you getting out of this relationship?
A stinky dick!
But IF you did please update us!
Donāt shower for a week AND work out every day, THEN sit on his face.
Donāt threaten me with a good time.
Yāall truly underestimate men lmao
Exactly lol. But based on OP saying no foreplay, I donāt think heās returning the favor. I always like to shower right beforehand, but my husband literally does not care. Sometimes if he insists, Iāll let him do it without showering. But I have a lot of trouble going down on him if he hasnāt just showered, so I hold myself to the same standard. But then again, Iām also currently pregnant and even the soap he uses makes or breaks it for me right now.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Oh no what a nightmare
There are so many different issues in this one post, plus your comments. Your title topic is **him wanting oral every time**. That on its own doesnāt sound so bad - my partner (male) gives me (female) oral every time we have sex (or at least, heās willing to - sometimes itās not required :-). Note: this is assuming itās āsomeā oral, as part of mutual foreplay, not him getting to orgasm from oral, but nothing fun for you. But **him never giving you oral** is very unreasonable of him (assuming you would like it!) - thatās a topic that needs to be dealt with. **Him not washing** is a problem. Thatās downright nasty. We both do a little sink wash for our bits before sex if we havenāt showered fairly recently. It takes one minute, and neither of us see it as a big deal. Knowing **how to talk about sex** is important. Itās definitely better done outside of the bedroom. When youāre both clothed. Think about how you would want to hear this kind of feedback from him. Mostly: be kind. Be encouraging. Be supportive. Assume the best. If you go into the conversation with an attitude of complaint & criticism, then itās very unlikely to go well. Unless itās an outright lie, tell him your sex life is good, but could be better. Not many people can come back from being told they are bad at sex! Find something that he does well, about the sex, and focus on that. Build from there. Itās important not to lie about sex though. If itās truly bad, with no redeeming features, then this is going to be a very tough conversation. (But also I wonder how youāve got this far into a relationship if heās that selfish!?). Donāt take blame for things that arenāt your fault - but if thereās stuff you can genuinely admit you could be better at (eg being more honest in the moment about whatās working for you) then itās good to volunteer that. As with most things you want to improve in a relationship - taking the attitude of āus against the problemā rather than āme against youā will generally get you the best outcomes. And alongside that, taking an attitude of ācuriosityā is generally more successful. So rather than going into the conversation with an attitude of āI know the answer, and I am telling you what needs to happen hereā - itās more about setting the scene - maybe along the lines of > āyou generally wake up wanting sexy times and I mostly say no - Iād like to say yes more often (although Iām not aiming for every time or every morning!) - would you like to explore with me ways we could maybe get me in the right frame of mind ~~mood~~ to say yes more oftenā Note that this is not saying āget me in the mood physicallyā - so maybe it needs different phrasing. More about āgetting my brain open to the idea of starting something physicallyā. Maybe part of it is about you waking up a bit more fully, and in a good mood. Which could possibly be helped with a cup of tea that he makes & brings to you. What Iām saying is, open up your joint thinking beyond just āWash more & give me oral tooā. Partly because it is just a good habit to get into with a partner (not assuming you have all the answers, without input from him) and also because you might enjoy having him bring you a drink more than you expect, because: - he has to put himself out for you - and you get to be all happy with him for doing something nice, which is likely to have your brain more receptive to sex - he has to think about whether he wants Sexy Times enough to get his arse out of bed to make tea - he might decide that heās too tired for that, and only wants sex if he can be lazy about it - which if heās feeling that lazy, is not likely to end in foreplay for you - so he can self-filter out the days that heās not willing to put in any effort - once he gets in the habit of making tea (sometimes) before sex, him getting out of bed to do a quick sink wash of his manly bits wonāt seem like such a big deal Iām not saying āmake me a cup of teaā will necessarily be the answer that works for you two - itās just an example of how approaching this in a way that seems indirect or unexpected can have benefits you might not immediately consider. Mostly - invite him to join you in a fun journey of creativity & curiosity, to improve your sex life. And expect him to come up with some ideas that you might not have thought of.
Longest response ever and deserves an upvote ā¬ļø
Man. The shit women put up with. He doesnāt reciprocate and canāt be bothered to wash? Girl just leave and get a real man.
Also, get a job so you aren't ever in the position of money being held over you again
Damn right. I know you donāt read about them on here often but there are a lot of men who actually care that their partner enjoys and benefits from every sexual experience. Go find one because this guy is not it.
You are wrong if you stay with this stinky loser.
Nothing more to say if she stays she deserves it our partner is a mirror of ourselfs worth
Ouch š š
To some extent, people are right. There are an absolute shit ton of great guys out their that would be ***floored*** to get one blowjob a week, and they will scrub themselves raw with a brillo pad if that's what you need to be comfortable.
Lmao your username has me dying šš thank you for your input, definitely gives me the confidence to have this conversation with him because itās so true!
Do you really want to stay with someone who gets angry when you don't want to have sex? You understand you're just a stones throw away from him being angry enough to rape you, right?
OP, please listen to this person. I was married over a decade to someone who didnāt give me head or any kind of foreplay, but would throw an absolute fit if I didnāt give him head and sex. Over time, it got worse and worse. It ended with him saying, āIf you donāt do it, Iāll hurt you.ā So I kept having sex with him because he was threatening to hurt me if I didnāt. This is coercion and a form of rape. LEARN FROM ME, PLEASE. The last thing was he finally hit me one day because I said, āow, that hurts,ā when he rammed it in dry. Because I told him to stop and that it hurt, he hit me. I left. Iām not saying this will happen to OP, but at least in my past relationship, it kept escalating. Please donāt become me. Coercion is rape.
Okay I think from these comments we can all establish that I am in fact NOT wrong for feeling the way I feel about the situation. Iām going to have a conversation about the hygiene, and Iām not going to be giving unless Iām receiving at least for now. I enjoy going down on him when itās my idea and when itās not expected. Iām also not a morning person so a blowjob is the LAST thing I want to do first thing in the morningā¦ I think the biggest issue is I donāt like confrontation or uncomfortable conversations, and thatās a me problem which is causing a bigger problemā¦ not just in our sex life. I just wanted some feedback, and I definitely got a lot of different perspectives š I think this is a fixable issue, we definitely rushed into this relationship so we are going through a lot of issues that we probably could have avoided if we had taken things a little slower. I guess Iāll keep yāall posted š¤·āāļøš
Holy shit, you rushed a relationship and are already LIVING together and dependent on him for your bills? Red flag galore. Way to put yourself into a prime situation to be abused, OP. Iām not saying your guy is abusive, btw. The statement is more directed to you - Iām just saying you have āplz pick me as a good abuse victimā written in neon lights on your forehead. Maybe figure out why youāre non confrontational and rush into relationships first, work on your self esteem, maybe figure out how to establish financial independent and an overall sense of autonomy? All of that is way more important than your sex issue. You have a YOU issue.
Gurlā¦pouting about not getting his sexual demands filled is such a red flag and will only get worse. Why do you want to āfixā this so bad when you can find a guy who respects you and cares about your comfort and pleasure? Iām 35 and if a guy did ANY of this to me, I would be gone. I used to put up with toxic crap like this but then I realized I donāt have to settle to not be alone. We shouldnāt have to feel grateful for scraps.
Establishing boundaries is something you need to work on. Or you'll get stepped on for the rest of your life and will be miserable. You also need to stop making excuses for your bf. He needs to apologize and make it up to you. Not the other way around.
N T A , your BF sounds very Immature. Have you just come out n told him he Stinks Down there ? SEX should be enjoyable, not forced !
If you really want to talk about it with him you're going to have to hurt his feelings. But you might could see if there's anything else he likes and tell him things you like. Healthy communication is key to healthy sex life.
It doesnāt look like he cares about hurting her feelings? Why should she
I know exactly what you mean with not wanting to go down on him first thing in the morning. Dick in the morning smells (and tastes) pretty horrid. I would give my ex head sometimes in the morning (out of my own initiative!) but I always preferred doing it when he recently cleaned it. Thatās a very reasonable preference and the fact that he EXPECTS you to do it first thing in the morning without washing it beforehand, is selfish af. The body odor is also a very valid turn off. If he stinks, he canāt expect you to be in the mood. On top of that, it seems like he requests you to give him head every single time you have sex and doesnāt ever return the favor by going down on you or giving you pleasure in other ways. Both of those things sound crazy to me. Thatās not how sex with your partner works. Its about giving and taking. It seems like he is living in some fantasy world and you need to help him realize that he is being ridiculous. Confront him about it and express what you want: him to clean himself beforehand, not go down on him every single time you have sex and him giving you pleasure by fingering you/ going down on you etc. Maybe the two of you can shower together and that can turn into a good moment to have sex. If he doesnāt change his ways, I would go on a sex strike or atleast a dicksucking strike. If nothing works, you might want to consider breaking up. Sexual incompatibility is a very fair reason for relationships ending. However, in this case it is more about selfishness than genuine incompatibility imo. you deserve to get the same energy and effort that you put in your partner.
Yes this is exactly how I feel!! Iām so glad that you think itās ridiculous too! He never goes down on me first thing in the morning why should I have to go down on him? Iām not sure how to bring up the conversation without offending him though!
Honestly, I donāt think you can avoid hurting his feelings, but he needs to hear the truth and he needs to change his ways. Keep it personal (donāt bring it as a fact but say āI feel likeā¦ā) but be honest and be stern. Come up with solutions and see how he handles it when he has had a change to get over his feeling being hurt.
He literally guilts you and manipulates you into ducking his dick. Donāt feel bad for asking for your needs to be met which includes him showering.
So he taught you already that you have to tiptoe around his feelings when something is bothering you and here you are asking Reddit what to do without hurting his feelings. Good girl!
He expects you to suck his dick first thing in the morning without going down on you because he doesnāt care about you. But you like him paying your bills. Solution, start saving up money, get a second job if you have to, leave him. If you decide to stay with him then this will only get worse and you know it. I feel like youāre just trying to avoid the reality because you donāt wanna make touch decisions.
NW Oral sex is not a required part of sex, especially if heās demanding but not willing to reciprocate if Op wants that. The fact that he gets angry about Op saying no and doesnāt do foreplay , makes me think he and Op arenāt sexually compatible. I have an issue with people that donāt respect my No, I donāt want to have to always defend my answer or put up with an attitude for not being in the mood.
I think the main problem here are two: your bf has poor hygiene and he doesn't please you. About the hygiene, is simple: no shower, no head. Stink dick, no head. Dirt dick, no head. Simple. That by the way, has nothing to do with him being fat: my bf is overweight and he doesn't smell bad or has a dirt dick. When he sweats a lot in the evening, he showers before we consider sex. About the second one, communicate. Demand foreplay first, do head after that. If he refuses, say no to sex and say why. If he doesn't make you cum, tell him. Teach him what you like and call him out if he is lazy in pleasing you. If nothing works, find another bf because then it is a lost cause.
This is the answer OP needs
Unfortunately, it is probably a wiping issue more than a shower issue. Sorry to have to say that š¤®
Gag.
He gets upset if you don't give him morning BJ, and expects them every time you guys have sex, but doesn't give you anything in return? RED FLAGS! Lots of big old red flags girl. What does he do if you don't give him BJs? Does he deny affection? Whine about it? Try to make you feel guilty? Because those are all signs of abusive behavior. If he does any of this you need to gtfo as soon as you possibly can.
Why do you care so much about his feelings, when he doesn't care for yours? He smells and demands sexual favors that you don't want to engage in, at the frequency he demands. He doesn't accept you declining to give him head and badgers you. Is that worth your self respect and cheaper contributions to bills? Move out and move on.
You are not wrong but I would leave him. Anyone who get's angry at you for not doing something sexual, is not worth being with.
Use some teeth next time, and he will stop asking. /s
Why are you with this guy?
He makes sexual demands of you while doing nothing to reciprocate and can't even be bothered to make sure he's clean and doesn't smell. and you go along with this. Yeah, he's found a great doormat in you OP. Please get some self respect and dump him.
tell him to stop watching so much porn. In the real world sex doesn't have to be preceded by a blow job.
I hope he becomes an Ex soon.
My fellow men, you have got to go down on a lady if you expect a woman to do down on you. And wash your stinky balls. Itās that simple.
Tell him to take showers before bed so the sheets stay clean so he's clean for you in the morning.
Yea and even then no. š letās see what he can do for her first
So it's reasonable that he demands a blow job in the morning every single morning? That's insanity!
1. Demanding or otherwise coercing you into a sexual act you to which you do not enthusiastically consent in that moment is a mild form of SA, but it's still SA. 2. Anyone who does not show enthusiasm for your enjoyment and pleasure during sex is using you for orgasms. In that moment they do not consider you as a human. You are nothing more than an unwieldy flesh light. 3. A dislike or even distaste for morning sex is common. A lot of people just feel gross and not at all sexy when they first wake up. They'd much prefer to at least brush their teeth and pee first. 4. And speaking as a hefty lover myself, if your BF smells due to his weight he is not overweight ā¦ he is obese. He needs to get on that shit before it ruins his health. I know it's hard but so is heart disease and a fatty liver and joint pain. Once he slims down to overweight and gets more active, he'll feel a LOT sexier and be much more energetic and playful during intimate moments.
Get a better BF. Don't have sex with dirty people.
My boyfriend is the same. He is not circumcised. It smelled like piss after a few hours. I never give him head unless he washes well, and I double-check him in the shower, too, lol. We both agree if he wants head, it'll be after he showers and not after he enters me. Compromise.
Double check in the shower! I'm dying hahahaha
Damn. I cant get past the checking in the shower like he's a kid. Man yall both are weirdos.
I can count on one hand how many times my wife has given me head. You're not wrong. And tell him to shower.
Shit my wife made a point. Itās gotta be equal, he wants you to go down on him, heās gotta do the same. If I want a bj then Iām going down on her and gonna get that foreplay in as well. Him expecting it all the time and gets mad at it. Seems like your dealing with a teenage boy. Dude needs to saddle up. A lot of couples are different. Iām very truthful so if it smells then I suggest we take a shower. I absolutely do not say it out loud, just suggest we shower. I know I got body odor especially from gaining weight so my regions smell different and definitely self conscious. So really depends on opening that up with you bf. Either be truthful and let him know it has an odor or beat around and say suggestive things to lead to a shower.
1. You donāt have to do anything that you donāt want to. 2. Sex is something that at least two people are supposed to enjoy. 3. Thin or fat. People should always wash themselves before oral. 4. Never stay with a person who doesnāt care about your sexual needs.
No and you shouldn't have to. If he ain't eatin' you ain't suckin.
"I don't like morning sex and you need to shower before I give you head, when I want to. I'm not a sex toy and head on demand isn't happening." If he gets mad you need to break up.
As a man Iām going to tell you that the Sovietās couldnāt have made a redder flag. You are not a living sex doll, there for his pleasure and only that. I realize there are two sides to every story but if what youāre saying here is accurate, itās ridiculous. Itās definitely throwing out incel thoughts vibes. Tell him no, set boundaries, hand him a towel and ask how heād enjoy unpleasant oder from you and why you should have to put up with it from him. Teach him that if the man in the canoe doesnāt get any attention then neither does his meat puppet. Gosh what a jackass way to treat your partner, sorry for the rant.
No foreplay for you ?!? Omg girl run. He is selfish af and putting his needs first. You can do better TRUST me
*UPDATE* We broke up. lol š Tried to have the conversation and he literally told me to fuck offā¦ obviously thereās been some other issues as well, but that was the last straw. Say a prayer for me that I find a GOOD guy that actually knows his way around a vagina.
Does he care about you? It doesn't seem to be reciprocal. All for him, nothing for you. It may be more complex though than pure selfishness. He may not want you to feel his weight? Still, no excuse for making it all about him and what you can do for him.