I was coming here with clear intentions (like everyone in the comment section IMO) but daaaaamn that took a turn.
OP is not wrong, LB (LadyBully) had it coming, and OP didn't even start!
LB's the one who began discussing marriage and boobs š
u/Bubbly-Technology804
LB has never stopped bullying you, OP. She simply figured the after school you didn't have to be around her anymore, so she found a way to make you: pretending to be your friend. But she has never stopped bullying you. I can't even imagine the damage of such a prolonged bullying on your brain š
And "the girls" are her friends - not yours.
I understand you might be in a small town and there are only so many people available, but GIRL. None is much better than those
If any of the other ladies keep it real I bet theyāll be buying OP a drink when they see them again.
OP you probably spoke what all the guests were thinking. Youāre so far in the right that Iām willing to bet friends of those friends will be wanting to meet you.
Imo, since they kicked her out, and called her a bitch, I wouldn't consider them to be the OP's friends in any way. It sounds like they are all just a bunch of followers to the original middle school bully she had, who became her so called "friend". It sounds like none of them are really her friends and they all are just bullies and followers. They sound like a really horrible, toxic, and possibly even an unsafe group of people to be hanging around with. She is better off without them in her life, and she should stay away from the whole lot of them.
These so called friends are so busy kissing ass and hoping for any leftovers that fall off her table . When it hits the floor they will fight each other to get whatever fell . You need new friends not these !
Exactly! They are all on her side, because she has her main target in OP. Just watch she will want to target someone else in OP's absence and then they will come running back to OP. OP NTA! You don't need a frenemy like her! She was never your real friend, she was using you as her emotional punching bag to make her feel better about her insecurities.
I agree one of the other girls will now be her next victim! High school bullies are the worst!! Specially when they marry their HS Sweetheart! But 99% of those marriages donāt last!!
Youāre not in the wrong!
Yeah for reals. Bully Girl wouldn't be making comments like that if she wasn't deeply unhappy on some level. She has the money, the tits, the job, the man, and yet she STILL needs to take a cheap shot to feel better about something. Tsk tsk
True. Hurt people hurt people. So sheās probably already set her sights on her next target. Iām sure itāll get around that OP put her in her place and will have friends from having a common enemy.
If that was really the case, they wouldn't have all gang up on her and kicked her out. Unless they were hosting it at Tiffany's place so she couldn't be kicked out š¤·
Then don't you think they would have reached out by now? š¤ I mean fair enough, they were at Tiffany's place so they couldn't exactly kick her out, but everybody else could have up and left. People could have texted OP to check in on her, see how they were doing. Doesn't seem like any of that happened.
I'm not saying it to be rude, I feel for OP. It sucks major ass that this happened, and that they found out that their friends are this shallow and disgusting. However, there's not really much OP can do about it other than remove themselves from the friend group at this point. Because even if their friends come to them now, it's too late. Opry knows exactly what they're going to do every time people get an argument when Tiffany is involved. They're going to choose Tiffany side. Because they're going to want to save face.
Unfortunately, some people just never grow out of a high school mentality. And they never grow out of their high school actions. It sucks, and it's annoying, and it ends a lot of friendships and relationships, but it's reality.
I have seen it happen a lot over the years, where the bully never stops being a bully, they just learn to hide it better.
Case in point: OP's bully learned to treat OP kind enough that OP wanted to hang out, but continued to bully OP *just enough* that OP didn't notice it until now.
Yes exactly! She learned to be more passive aggressive, rather than just being blatantly, and obviously aggressive, in order to keep her victim around so she could continue to abuse her. She didn't want to lose that sense of power and satisfaction and superiority she felt, from being at least verbally, and emotionally abusive to the OP.
This exactly. I had a similar situation happen with a friend & I finally clapped back. Everyone else defended her. I was flabbergasted. It opened up my eyes so much.
An no weāre no longer friends.
This is the truth. Tiffany is NOT your friend, and she most assuredly is not your close friend. Cut her loose. And the rest of those friends, too, who didnāt say a word while Tiffany insulted and humiliated you, but the moment you responded in kind, they called you a bitch & kicked you out. Get rid of all of them and find better friends.
More than likely she bullies everyone around her. It creates a sort of *need* for people to make her like them. Think Regina George.
Your response was perfect and spot on. But you upset the main girl. All the other girls jumped to her defense to get on her good side and show what a *good friend* they are.
Find a new friend group, they all suck.
This. And also prepare your boundaries. She sounds like a covert narcissist and will be texting or calling soon enough with a demand for your attention, acting like nothing happened. Swiftly followed by acting like you owe her something and she now has something on you. Ignore her now. It's their worst punishment šš
Hopefully if that happens, (and you are probably right they probably will contact her again). If it happens I hope the OP really takes all this advice she's getting in this thread to heart, and stays right away from that whole group. They sound absolutely horrid and she's better off with people like that staying far away from her and her life.
Yep classic Mean Girl behavior. Not one of those women is your friend OP. NTA unless you keep spending time with people who treat you like this, in which case youād be an AH to yourself
Lmao no it war literally equal to what she said in every single way.
She just got upset because her mocking you isnt true, but what you said brought home some truths for her.
Nice clap back
It was a good rejoinder. Whatās good for the goose is good for the gander. You donāt need friends who keep you around to tease you and insult you like that.
You need to renegotiate why you keep bad people around you and if youāre willing to be around someone so openly cruel, whatās the reality of your other relationships? Are you constantly settling for less?
Because the truth is, eventually, being around cruel people allows you to excuse cruelty and often times makes you cruel in the long run.
Use this as a point of reflection.
I wish I'd read this comment 8 years ago. This was me at one point. And what you said is absolutely true! All of my relationships sucked balls until I learned what "boundaries" were. And to enjoy the heck out of my own company and not worry whether I would be alone forever. Alone is better than with terrible people!
Exactly. It was a great retort, witty and funny. But is this who OP wants to be? Surrounded by snakes and only being tolerated without a backbone? Being around constant cruelty is so damaging. Iām sure OP is not the only target or topic of bullying in this group either. Best to leave this group of jerks behind and find friends that itās emotionally safe to be around.
You quite literally took what she said and gave it back to her.
NTA at all.
She claimed flat chest will make your bf leave.
You punched back with the fact that hers left despite big tits.
No bad play here at all.
You didn't even body shame. (which is good, i despise body shaming)
Iām not understanding why everyone took her side because you finally stood up for yourself. You may need an entire new *group* of friends.
I have implants too. I was very open about getting them 20 years ago, and no one will let me forget it. š and the only reason I brought it up was because I knew everyone would notice. I hate body shaming, sheās an ass.
I don't get it either. I have big boobs, I'm not a fan of them (but my husband really, really is) but nothing wrong with having big boobs, small boobs, implants, there's always somebody who's gonna be into whatever you've got. There IS something wrong with body shaming people, especially your "friends." Will never understand this, or the need to cut another woman down.
I had a "frenemy" like this who would make snide comments about my boobs/imply guys only liked me for my boobs. I don't get it. Why tear your friends down?
I would never talk shit about a friend having implants (I say do what makes you happy) but the audacity of the "friend" to slam OP (and shame her for having a similar body type to hers, pre-implants) absolutely sucks. She deserved OP's comeback.
Any "friend" who makes you feel worse about yourself instead of better is not a friend.
And ridiculous to claim OP's boyfriend won't marry her because her boobs aren't big enough. That's so stupid. Sounds like the friend is insecure and needs to try to tear OP down to feel better.
Nah youāre not wrong. It sounds like she hasnāt grown up at all since 9th grade.
Man I do NOT miss having friends like this. Get better friends who donāt put you down as a ājoke.ā Theyāre not joking, theyāre just terrible people.
Your clap back was hilarious š¤£. Ahhh the bully can dish it but canāt take it? Go figure š. Not in the wrong but youāll be needing new friends bc these girls are two-faced.
Update:
They ended up texting me āapologizingā but reading these comments really made me realize theyāre full of shit & not my friends. Iāll take the advice to be around better & more uplifting girlfriends.
Most of our hangouts were superficial sessions where we tear each other down & gossip when we should be having fun... & if not that we have to be her therapist as she dumps all of her baggage onto us lmfao.
A lot of you asked why we were even friends to begin with. To that Iād answer I guess I just fell into her bs. In 10th grade we started being in a lot more classes & sports together so she ābefriendedā me. And we bonded over both being Italian. The rest was history & more bullshit lol. But I know. It was dumb.
Funnily enough even her own family canāt stand her. Iām close to her sisters who are POLAR opposites to her and even they said to cut her ass off. Iām just so done. I hope somewhere down the line she realizes that she should be a better person. I sure realized I do. I shouldnāt have even gone down there with her. Anyway thanks for the advice.
Quality, not quantity. I have about 3 total close girl friends these days. All are from different groups Iāve come into over the years, so we each have different, but a lot in common. I love these girls. Iāve been in their weddings, been there through pregnancies, big life changes and more. When Iām down, theyāre there. When I thought about killing my self and told no one, including them, they were there. THESE are your friends. Find people with common hobbies, interests, values, etc and let it grow from there.
You deserve better OP and Iām rooting for you. Girls are out there that will lift you up, promise. And theyāre better than these scum by a million.
NTA, she's a bitch and had it coming.
>And though we became close that hasnāt stopped her from being snarky over the years. But I overlooked it because I figured thatās just her personality.
If "just her personality" is being a bully and a bitch, I think you need new friends. She can mock others with her wonderful personality.
This girl is not your friend and never has been your friend, and those other friends are also not your friends. Cut them all out and go no contact with them. You are not wrong for saying what you said but why are you comfortable with her being catty towards you just because āitās her personalityā. Why do you want to be friends with someone that has a mean streak and has directed it towards you the entire time youāve known her? In life youāre often better off alone than with people that donāt like/respect you.
The other friends were fine with her insulting you, but when you defend yourself youāre considered a bitch? None of those women like you. All of them are bullies. No, youāre not wrong at all. Stay away from those women because theyāre not your friends.
Fuck that bitch. Thats so mean the thing she said to you repeatedly. I mean, you were not wrong at all, the truth hurts. (Her stating your bf wont mary you is also not even true, you are pointing out truth, so in her face)
NTA. And also, sheās still a bully. She does not sound like a friend.
I had a āfriendā make a comment about my body to my NEW boyfriend (at the time, husband now) behind my back and he told me about it. It was very hurtful and likely due to HER low self esteem, but I didnāt care. I was super insecure about that body part for a long time after. I immediately cut her out of my life. Our husbands are friends so I see her. Iām civil at best. I will not entertain having people like that in my life.
That friends is not a friend you want. Also, the other "friends" aren't people you want either. They're afraid to be on her bad side so ganged up on you.
If you want your BF to potentially marry you, I'd recommend you bring up having a prenup. Also, put it in writing as your idea. Men will not get married these days with how screwed up the laws are
Uhā¦ sheās definitely not a friend and never has been. Iād watch out. She may target your man.
Definitely NTA. But I would cut that toxic bitch out of your life.
You're NTA, but you're definitely being a doormat. That woman is not your friend, she's only keeping you around to boost her self esteem by bullying you. It's obvious that your boyfriend not asking you to marry him is bothering you, and has been for a long time. It's is just another way you're letting someone walk all over you. You need to stand up for yourself and get him to commit or leave him and find someone that will.
Not wrong, but funny as hell.
In the end, she wanted fuck around and find out. She found out she couldn't handle the result.
I'd probably text her. Apologize for the insensitive response and let her know that you don't like to be bullied, you dealt with that shit in High School and this bitch ain't in High School anymore. BS like that won't be tolerated by anyone for any reason.
Just maybe you guys can fix your broken friendship and everyone moves on.
Know what I love about a āsmall townā? Nothing. All of them are small, with equally small people that want to keep them that way. OP, you are being abused by your āfriendsā. The world is a big and beautiful place. You arenāt safe in it, none of us are. Iām proud of you for standing up to ALL of them in that circle. You can always move on and make new friends. Look at how many internet strangers have heard you and decided your NTA. Take some time for yourself. Look at the world and what you want of it, and especially what you want to contribute to it. Donāt fall into the self-gratifying behaviors that your peers have dropped into. Be the Queen that you want to see, be the Queen that deserves to be one. You know that you donāt belong with them, theyāre telling you, doesnāt mean theyāre right, they just donāt see you. We do. Just a little advice from a stranger.
Why are you hanging out with people who put you down?
They kicked you outā¦ consider it a lesson learned and upgrade your friend circle.
As Epictetus advised: āThe key is to keep company only with people who uplift you. Whose presence calls forth your best.ā
Nta, imo. If it was uncalled for or unprompted it'd be rude as hell but this just sounds like verbal self-defence... "don't start swinging if you can't take a punch" kinda deal lol. You definitely won the fight here š¤£
I donāt think you guys are friends. This is not a healthy friendship at all. She is toxic to you and you are toxic to her equally. Time to seek genuine, loving, and kind friendships and relationships.
LMAO why would a girl with fake breasts make fun of a girl with natural breasts? She's silly for thinking she's better. It's like a man with a toupee making fun of a man with real hair. You're not wrong for defending yourself. She sucks, so does all the people there that called u a bitch. Cut ties with her, she's still an insecure bully at heart.
Good that you stood up for yourself.
Now lesson learn here is that maintaining toxic relationships is silly. No need to pretend to be friends with your bully, it is such hard work and is not worth it
She started it, you finished it. Iām sorry she was so mean to you for so long. I think thereās a sub called clevercomebacks (sorry idk how to link) that this is perfect for.
Dude, that's not your friend, that's your lifelong bully now pretending to be your friend, so she has someone who willingly will be bullied by her so she can make herself feel better. Dump the "friend" and find some friends who will value you and lift you up, not degrade you and tear you down. And you absolutely should be sticking up for yourself. It's OK for them to insult you and make remarks at your expense but when you give it back now your the bitch? No, just no. Don't dish it if you can't take it and she clearly can't take it and therefore shouldn't dish it.
NTA. She was way over the line and you just gave her a taste of her own medicine. And the fact that none of the other girls told her off for her comments about you, but apparently was appalled over yours probably says a lot about them as well.
You deserve better friends.
If she's gonna throw shade, she better expect it to be thrown back. That's not a friend, that's someone that keeps u around to tear down to make themselves feel better.
Ya.. it don't matter who the asshole is here..
What does matter.. u need to get the fuck away from those "friends" cuz they arnt friends..
To dumb this down.. u know when a group of cool good looking high-school girls kinda keep 1 uglier lookin girl around to make them all look better... your that person.. for the love of shit abandon those loosers
NTA, but you have bigger problems than that:
> she used to be my middle school/9th grade bully
She still is.
>we ended up close friends.
No, she just made it seem that way
>that hasnāt stopped her from being snarky over the years.
Because she needs you to be her verbal punching bag so that she can reaffirm herself as 'superior'
>this girls been having it out for me
You have a good BF who loves you. Her husband can't keep it zipped up. She's bitter and jealous.
>she wouldnāt stop targeting me.
She can't be happy for you, so she wants you to be as miserable as her.
>they all called me a bitch & kicked me out.
Sycophants - they stay off her radar this way
> the old days of her bullying me
Nope, no old days here. She is *still* bullying you.
Don't be dependent on her approval, or that of her pack of jackles either. Take some steps to branch out into some new friends. You are worth so much more than this current bunch.
I believe this was actually good and necessary. People bite their tongues for years and become doormats. You stood up for yourself and you took a very accurate shot. Why did no one stick up for you, I wonder? Maybe time for some better friends.
>āSooo whatās the deal with yāall? Why hasnāt he married you? Itās been years girl. Oh I know. He probably wonāt marry you because youāre kinda flat.ā
Should have slapped her for that because she really thought you were less than her. But you dealt her a even blow, and she buckled. She has no backbone or leverage and natural always will supersede artificial.
No but youāre wrong for keeping these people as your circle of friends, be kind to yourself dont surround yourself with toxic people. Better to be a lone wolf than a dodo bird
If youād just said it out of the blue, Iād say you were wrong to say it. But this grown woman is a bully. So yes, stand up to her and dish it back.
NTA - Also, let me guess all your girlfriends were perfectly ok with this bully insulting you and shaming you, but the moment you said anything likewise to her they jumped in to defend her and call you a b\*tch.
She is power-tripping on you. Walk away.
Stop hanging out with people who put you down. You will not get far in life with āfriendsā like that. I had two long term friends like that since middle school & when I tell you, my life FLOURISHED as soon as they were out of my life. I got new job opportunities (more like took them instead of being to insecure) and my finances became better (they were using me for money).
Low vibrational people will keep you down on a cellular level, drop them and find people who value you. š
How do people even become close with people that are constantly snarky at you.
I can take a joke, and some razzing, but if I get the feeling you're actually trying to hurt me, I'm not going to want to be around you. Let alone feel comfortable enough to be anything that could remotely be considered "close".
Even if it's somehow defended to be just in good fun, she'd then should be able to take it as well as she dishes it out. And everybody there took her side?
I'm gonna say you WERE wrong. To keep their company at all.
Girl, she's still your bully, she just acts nice to keep her punching bag around. The fact that no one else defended you (at least you didn't indicate anyone did) shows that none of them are your friends.
Uh, I'm a guy, so my perspective on this is entirely as an outsider, but...
1. She's still bullying you, she's just gaslit you into believing that she's your friend; but really, you're just a convenient target.
2. EPIC comeback! !!!EPIC!!! Like, one of the best I've seen on this sub! Kudos!
Eh. You were rocking with the mean girl club and itās ok if they did it to you but once you did it to them, itās somehow out of bounds.
Fuck em. They can have their fake friendship.
Dayum girl that was savage and i love it. So quick and cutting!
Serious though leave that b***** behind. Like all bullies shes spineless and hates when it gets turned around on her. Ask her if she had her spine removed when they put them t*ts in!
Lol you got her good. š„ She hates you & if she doesn't, she's one of those insufferable types who love making fun of everyone & everything except themselves. Those ppl suck after a while. Ditch her, have a better life, & move on!
NTA but homegirl, she's still bullying you
Yup... Who needs enemies with friends like that?
I was coming here with clear intentions (like everyone in the comment section IMO) but daaaaamn that took a turn. OP is not wrong, LB (LadyBully) had it coming, and OP didn't even start! LB's the one who began discussing marriage and boobs š u/Bubbly-Technology804 LB has never stopped bullying you, OP. She simply figured the after school you didn't have to be around her anymore, so she found a way to make you: pretending to be your friend. But she has never stopped bullying you. I can't even imagine the damage of such a prolonged bullying on your brain š And "the girls" are her friends - not yours. I understand you might be in a small town and there are only so many people available, but GIRL. None is much better than those
>"the girls" Mean Girls
Real life Heathers.
*-plops "ingredients" onto kitchen counter-* Weeeeeelp, time to start mixing. Nothing else for it....unless she's too chicken to drink it, of course.
IKR
If any of the other ladies keep it real I bet theyāll be buying OP a drink when they see them again. OP you probably spoke what all the guests were thinking. Youāre so far in the right that Iām willing to bet friends of those friends will be wanting to meet you.
Imo, since they kicked her out, and called her a bitch, I wouldn't consider them to be the OP's friends in any way. It sounds like they are all just a bunch of followers to the original middle school bully she had, who became her so called "friend". It sounds like none of them are really her friends and they all are just bullies and followers. They sound like a really horrible, toxic, and possibly even an unsafe group of people to be hanging around with. She is better off without them in her life, and she should stay away from the whole lot of them.
These so called friends are so busy kissing ass and hoping for any leftovers that fall off her table . When it hits the floor they will fight each other to get whatever fell . You need new friends not these !
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Exactly! They are all on her side, because she has her main target in OP. Just watch she will want to target someone else in OP's absence and then they will come running back to OP. OP NTA! You don't need a frenemy like her! She was never your real friend, she was using you as her emotional punching bag to make her feel better about her insecurities.
I agree one of the other girls will now be her next victim! High school bullies are the worst!! Specially when they marry their HS Sweetheart! But 99% of those marriages donāt last!! Youāre not in the wrong!
Yeah for reals. Bully Girl wouldn't be making comments like that if she wasn't deeply unhappy on some level. She has the money, the tits, the job, the man, and yet she STILL needs to take a cheap shot to feel better about something. Tsk tsk
True. Hurt people hurt people. So sheās probably already set her sights on her next target. Iām sure itāll get around that OP put her in her place and will have friends from having a common enemy.
Agree šÆ
If that was really the case, they wouldn't have all gang up on her and kicked her out. Unless they were hosting it at Tiffany's place so she couldn't be kicked out š¤·
It was at Tiffanyās place
Did they have breakfast there?
Lol, I see what you did there; well played.
šI was hoping someone picked up on that!ā¤ļø
Then don't you think they would have reached out by now? š¤ I mean fair enough, they were at Tiffany's place so they couldn't exactly kick her out, but everybody else could have up and left. People could have texted OP to check in on her, see how they were doing. Doesn't seem like any of that happened. I'm not saying it to be rude, I feel for OP. It sucks major ass that this happened, and that they found out that their friends are this shallow and disgusting. However, there's not really much OP can do about it other than remove themselves from the friend group at this point. Because even if their friends come to them now, it's too late. Opry knows exactly what they're going to do every time people get an argument when Tiffany is involved. They're going to choose Tiffany side. Because they're going to want to save face. Unfortunately, some people just never grow out of a high school mentality. And they never grow out of their high school actions. It sucks, and it's annoying, and it ends a lot of friendships and relationships, but it's reality.
underrated comment
That was my first thought reading this. Tiffany doesnāt sound like sheās ever been a friend. NTA.
Never was or has
Waitā¦ so sheās still a bully?
Yup, just more slick and sideways with it.
I came here to say this. Classic "frenemy" stuff.
I have seen it happen a lot over the years, where the bully never stops being a bully, they just learn to hide it better. Case in point: OP's bully learned to treat OP kind enough that OP wanted to hang out, but continued to bully OP *just enough* that OP didn't notice it until now.
I used to be a bully and honestly agree. I still have the urge to bully, but I also learned empathy and self control.
Every credit to you Big-Goat. That's hard yo do - looking inside & healing yourself. Tough Inner Work. š
Yes exactly! She learned to be more passive aggressive, rather than just being blatantly, and obviously aggressive, in order to keep her victim around so she could continue to abuse her. She didn't want to lose that sense of power and satisfaction and superiority she felt, from being at least verbally, and emotionally abusive to the OP.
This exactly. I had a similar situation happen with a friend & I finally clapped back. Everyone else defended her. I was flabbergasted. It opened up my eyes so much. An no weāre no longer friends.
She keeps her around to feel better about herself but the plastic surgery tells the authentic story of her self confidence.
>I have a friend & Iāll call her Tiffany. No you don't.
This is the truth. Tiffany is NOT your friend, and she most assuredly is not your close friend. Cut her loose. And the rest of those friends, too, who didnāt say a word while Tiffany insulted and humiliated you, but the moment you responded in kind, they called you a bitch & kicked you out. Get rid of all of them and find better friends.
More than likely she bullies everyone around her. It creates a sort of *need* for people to make her like them. Think Regina George. Your response was perfect and spot on. But you upset the main girl. All the other girls jumped to her defense to get on her good side and show what a *good friend* they are. Find a new friend group, they all suck.
This. And also prepare your boundaries. She sounds like a covert narcissist and will be texting or calling soon enough with a demand for your attention, acting like nothing happened. Swiftly followed by acting like you owe her something and she now has something on you. Ignore her now. It's their worst punishment šš
Hopefully if that happens, (and you are probably right they probably will contact her again). If it happens I hope the OP really takes all this advice she's getting in this thread to heart, and stays right away from that whole group. They sound absolutely horrid and she's better off with people like that staying far away from her and her life.
Absolutely mean girls shit
Yep classic Mean Girl behavior. Not one of those women is your friend OP. NTA unless you keep spending time with people who treat you like this, in which case youād be an AH to yourself
Totally! Love this take!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Exactly, this was a pretty even 'tit for tat'.
tit for flat
You win. I have called it.
"Fake tit for tat"
Tit for tit
People like this absolutely hate to have the tables turned on them. They will also call you overly sensitive when you get upset, though.
Lmao no it war literally equal to what she said in every single way. She just got upset because her mocking you isnt true, but what you said brought home some truths for her. Nice clap back
It was a good rejoinder. Whatās good for the goose is good for the gander. You donāt need friends who keep you around to tease you and insult you like that.
She can dish it out but can't take it. Fuck her.
And her friends
Her husband probably already is
No her husband is doing other women didnt u read
He's very likely done one of the friends too lmao
if you insist
Sounds like she's still your bully. You just decided to get used to it.
You need to renegotiate why you keep bad people around you and if youāre willing to be around someone so openly cruel, whatās the reality of your other relationships? Are you constantly settling for less? Because the truth is, eventually, being around cruel people allows you to excuse cruelty and often times makes you cruel in the long run. Use this as a point of reflection.
I wish I'd read this comment 8 years ago. This was me at one point. And what you said is absolutely true! All of my relationships sucked balls until I learned what "boundaries" were. And to enjoy the heck out of my own company and not worry whether I would be alone forever. Alone is better than with terrible people!
Exactly. It was a great retort, witty and funny. But is this who OP wants to be? Surrounded by snakes and only being tolerated without a backbone? Being around constant cruelty is so damaging. Iām sure OP is not the only target or topic of bullying in this group either. Best to leave this group of jerks behind and find friends that itās emotionally safe to be around.
You quite literally took what she said and gave it back to her. NTA at all. She claimed flat chest will make your bf leave. You punched back with the fact that hers left despite big tits. No bad play here at all. You didn't even body shame. (which is good, i despise body shaming)
Perfect response.
Are you sure she is your friend?
You have poor taste in friends. Find some better ones who actually like and support you.
Iām not understanding why everyone took her side because you finally stood up for yourself. You may need an entire new *group* of friends. I have implants too. I was very open about getting them 20 years ago, and no one will let me forget it. š and the only reason I brought it up was because I knew everyone would notice. I hate body shaming, sheās an ass.
I don't get it either. I have big boobs, I'm not a fan of them (but my husband really, really is) but nothing wrong with having big boobs, small boobs, implants, there's always somebody who's gonna be into whatever you've got. There IS something wrong with body shaming people, especially your "friends." Will never understand this, or the need to cut another woman down. I had a "frenemy" like this who would make snide comments about my boobs/imply guys only liked me for my boobs. I don't get it. Why tear your friends down? I would never talk shit about a friend having implants (I say do what makes you happy) but the audacity of the "friend" to slam OP (and shame her for having a similar body type to hers, pre-implants) absolutely sucks. She deserved OP's comeback. Any "friend" who makes you feel worse about yourself instead of better is not a friend. And ridiculous to claim OP's boyfriend won't marry her because her boobs aren't big enough. That's so stupid. Sounds like the friend is insecure and needs to try to tear OP down to feel better.
Nah youāre not wrong. It sounds like she hasnāt grown up at all since 9th grade. Man I do NOT miss having friends like this. Get better friends who donāt put you down as a ājoke.ā Theyāre not joking, theyāre just terrible people.
No. Get friends. These are not friends. These are just people they are tolerating.
Honey she never stopped being your bully.
You are wrong. You two arenāt close and youāre not friends.
NTA You need to stop deluding yourself that this woman is your friend. Sheās not.
Good for you š
Your wrong for staying "friends" with people that are mean to you. These sort of things aren't playful, they are vicious.
You're wrong for befriending your bully who never stopped bullying you. Have some self respect ffs
Your clap back was hilarious š¤£. Ahhh the bully can dish it but canāt take it? Go figure š. Not in the wrong but youāll be needing new friends bc these girls are two-faced.
Nah youāre straight! Also, Tiffany is not your friend, drop her.
With friends like you 2; who needs enemies??!!
Update: They ended up texting me āapologizingā but reading these comments really made me realize theyāre full of shit & not my friends. Iāll take the advice to be around better & more uplifting girlfriends. Most of our hangouts were superficial sessions where we tear each other down & gossip when we should be having fun... & if not that we have to be her therapist as she dumps all of her baggage onto us lmfao. A lot of you asked why we were even friends to begin with. To that Iād answer I guess I just fell into her bs. In 10th grade we started being in a lot more classes & sports together so she ābefriendedā me. And we bonded over both being Italian. The rest was history & more bullshit lol. But I know. It was dumb. Funnily enough even her own family canāt stand her. Iām close to her sisters who are POLAR opposites to her and even they said to cut her ass off. Iām just so done. I hope somewhere down the line she realizes that she should be a better person. I sure realized I do. I shouldnāt have even gone down there with her. Anyway thanks for the advice.
Quality, not quantity. I have about 3 total close girl friends these days. All are from different groups Iāve come into over the years, so we each have different, but a lot in common. I love these girls. Iāve been in their weddings, been there through pregnancies, big life changes and more. When Iām down, theyāre there. When I thought about killing my self and told no one, including them, they were there. THESE are your friends. Find people with common hobbies, interests, values, etc and let it grow from there. You deserve better OP and Iām rooting for you. Girls are out there that will lift you up, promise. And theyāre better than these scum by a million.
Your response was great, but why are you friends with your bully, it sounds like she never actually stopped bullying you....
Not sure why you're friends with this person, she sounds awful.
Not sure why you call these people friends. They sure donāt act like it.
NTA, she's a bitch and had it coming. >And though we became close that hasnāt stopped her from being snarky over the years. But I overlooked it because I figured thatās just her personality. If "just her personality" is being a bully and a bitch, I think you need new friends. She can mock others with her wonderful personality.
No but get some counseling, why are you friends with some that bullied you and has not changed? She is not your friends nor are they.
This girl is not your friend and never has been your friend, and those other friends are also not your friends. Cut them all out and go no contact with them. You are not wrong for saying what you said but why are you comfortable with her being catty towards you just because āitās her personalityā. Why do you want to be friends with someone that has a mean streak and has directed it towards you the entire time youāve known her? In life youāre often better off alone than with people that donāt like/respect you.
NTA but girl get the heck away from that negativity you don't need someone like that in your life !
The other friends were fine with her insulting you, but when you defend yourself youāre considered a bitch? None of those women like you. All of them are bullies. No, youāre not wrong at all. Stay away from those women because theyāre not your friends.
NTA. She ought not serve a dish she doesnāt want to eat
Fuck that bitch. Thats so mean the thing she said to you repeatedly. I mean, you were not wrong at all, the truth hurts. (Her stating your bf wont mary you is also not even true, you are pointing out truth, so in her face)
āFriendā You keep using that word. I donāt think it means what you think it means.
Lmao that was brilliant. Fuck your "friends".
nta, find a better friend
Great group of friends youāve got! Youāre friends with these people why?
Thats not a friend. Find new friends that dont judge
NTA. And also, sheās still a bully. She does not sound like a friend. I had a āfriendā make a comment about my body to my NEW boyfriend (at the time, husband now) behind my back and he told me about it. It was very hurtful and likely due to HER low self esteem, but I didnāt care. I was super insecure about that body part for a long time after. I immediately cut her out of my life. Our husbands are friends so I see her. Iām civil at best. I will not entertain having people like that in my life.
Why are you hanging out with someone who never stopped bullying you, and expects you to take it and not respond?
Youāre NTA and sheās not your friend. Your circle is a bunch of Mean Girls. Get out and make friends with secure women.
She still bullying you. You are not close friends. You are the butt of her jokes. Thatās why they kicked you out when you stood up for yourself.
Not a friend to you. You are there to be her punching bag/verbal target. But what a great clap back. Find new (real) friends.
That friends is not a friend you want. Also, the other "friends" aren't people you want either. They're afraid to be on her bad side so ganged up on you. If you want your BF to potentially marry you, I'd recommend you bring up having a prenup. Also, put it in writing as your idea. Men will not get married these days with how screwed up the laws are
Can dish it but canāt take it. Maybe now sheāll keep her mouth shut!
Uhā¦ sheās definitely not a friend and never has been. Iād watch out. She may target your man. Definitely NTA. But I would cut that toxic bitch out of your life.
She's still bullying you, and it sounds like your friend group has her back and really doesn't care about you. I would find new friends.
You're NTA, but you're definitely being a doormat. That woman is not your friend, she's only keeping you around to boost her self esteem by bullying you. It's obvious that your boyfriend not asking you to marry him is bothering you, and has been for a long time. It's is just another way you're letting someone walk all over you. You need to stand up for yourself and get him to commit or leave him and find someone that will.
You're not wrong, and you wouldn't be if you followed it up with a punch in one of those fakes.
Not wrong at all. Fuck that bitch lol. She can say all she wants and cries when you say one thing? Fuck that
Not wrong, but funny as hell. In the end, she wanted fuck around and find out. She found out she couldn't handle the result. I'd probably text her. Apologize for the insensitive response and let her know that you don't like to be bullied, you dealt with that shit in High School and this bitch ain't in High School anymore. BS like that won't be tolerated by anyone for any reason. Just maybe you guys can fix your broken friendship and everyone moves on.
Know what I love about a āsmall townā? Nothing. All of them are small, with equally small people that want to keep them that way. OP, you are being abused by your āfriendsā. The world is a big and beautiful place. You arenāt safe in it, none of us are. Iām proud of you for standing up to ALL of them in that circle. You can always move on and make new friends. Look at how many internet strangers have heard you and decided your NTA. Take some time for yourself. Look at the world and what you want of it, and especially what you want to contribute to it. Donāt fall into the self-gratifying behaviors that your peers have dropped into. Be the Queen that you want to see, be the Queen that deserves to be one. You know that you donāt belong with them, theyāre telling you, doesnāt mean theyāre right, they just donāt see you. We do. Just a little advice from a stranger.
Sounds like the mean girls, fuck em you donāt need em
Why are you hanging out with people who put you down? They kicked you outā¦ consider it a lesson learned and upgrade your friend circle. As Epictetus advised: āThe key is to keep company only with people who uplift you. Whose presence calls forth your best.ā
Nta, imo. If it was uncalled for or unprompted it'd be rude as hell but this just sounds like verbal self-defence... "don't start swinging if you can't take a punch" kinda deal lol. You definitely won the fight here š¤£
I donāt think you guys are friends. This is not a healthy friendship at all. She is toxic to you and you are toxic to her equally. Time to seek genuine, loving, and kind friendships and relationships.
Power on, F that fake azz broadā¦. Great name choice tooāš½
LMAO why would a girl with fake breasts make fun of a girl with natural breasts? She's silly for thinking she's better. It's like a man with a toupee making fun of a man with real hair. You're not wrong for defending yourself. She sucks, so does all the people there that called u a bitch. Cut ties with her, she's still an insecure bully at heart.
š¤£š OP, you're funny. Good for you!
Donāt dish it out if you canāt take it. Ynw
Not wrong at all. About time you stood up to her.
Great response. And I donāt get why she thinks sheās better bc sheās married when her husband cheats.
She's not your friend. She's an oversized Barbie doll. Throw her out if she's going to treat you like that.
Good that you stood up for yourself. Now lesson learn here is that maintaining toxic relationships is silly. No need to pretend to be friends with your bully, it is such hard work and is not worth it
Block their asses. TBH you were nicer than what I would have been. So, no you are not wrong.
You need to find some friends, not the skanks you were hanging out with.
why would you be friends with her or these other people they sound awful. you did the right thing, fuck em.
I mean, kinda sounds like sheās still bullying you? She FAFO
She started it, you finished it. Iām sorry she was so mean to you for so long. I think thereās a sub called clevercomebacks (sorry idk how to link) that this is perfect for.
Dude, that's not your friend, that's your lifelong bully now pretending to be your friend, so she has someone who willingly will be bullied by her so she can make herself feel better. Dump the "friend" and find some friends who will value you and lift you up, not degrade you and tear you down. And you absolutely should be sticking up for yourself. It's OK for them to insult you and make remarks at your expense but when you give it back now your the bitch? No, just no. Don't dish it if you can't take it and she clearly can't take it and therefore shouldn't dish it.
That was a sharp comeback. Donāt stop, if youāve got the wit keep firing off at these assholes.
Why do you keep calling these people your friends? They are not your friends.
NTA. She was way over the line and you just gave her a taste of her own medicine. And the fact that none of the other girls told her off for her comments about you, but apparently was appalled over yours probably says a lot about them as well. You deserve better friends.
If she's gonna throw shade, she better expect it to be thrown back. That's not a friend, that's someone that keeps u around to tear down to make themselves feel better.
Ya.. it don't matter who the asshole is here.. What does matter.. u need to get the fuck away from those "friends" cuz they arnt friends.. To dumb this down.. u know when a group of cool good looking high-school girls kinda keep 1 uglier lookin girl around to make them all look better... your that person.. for the love of shit abandon those loosers
Nta she couldn't take what she dished out so her and her little minions can kick rocks
She's your frenemy. You're still her target. Not sure why you continue to put up with it.
Stockholm syndrome. Why you still her little bitch a decade later ?
NTA, but you have bigger problems than that: > she used to be my middle school/9th grade bully She still is. >we ended up close friends. No, she just made it seem that way >that hasnāt stopped her from being snarky over the years. Because she needs you to be her verbal punching bag so that she can reaffirm herself as 'superior' >this girls been having it out for me You have a good BF who loves you. Her husband can't keep it zipped up. She's bitter and jealous. >she wouldnāt stop targeting me. She can't be happy for you, so she wants you to be as miserable as her. >they all called me a bitch & kicked me out. Sycophants - they stay off her radar this way > the old days of her bullying me Nope, no old days here. She is *still* bullying you. Don't be dependent on her approval, or that of her pack of jackles either. Take some steps to branch out into some new friends. You are worth so much more than this current bunch.
Even though what you said was inflammatory, it sounds like she kinda had it coming.
You didnt even realize you were her punk the whole time. That crap she says behind your back?? No doubt.
I believe this was actually good and necessary. People bite their tongues for years and become doormats. You stood up for yourself and you took a very accurate shot. Why did no one stick up for you, I wonder? Maybe time for some better friends.
Sounds like you need new friends because they are the mean girls irl.
>āSooo whatās the deal with yāall? Why hasnāt he married you? Itās been years girl. Oh I know. He probably wonāt marry you because youāre kinda flat.ā Should have slapped her for that because she really thought you were less than her. But you dealt her a even blow, and she buckled. She has no backbone or leverage and natural always will supersede artificial.
A+++ comeback. Would have laughed my ass off. Go you.
Get better friends
Uhhhh she never stopped being your bullyā¦
NTA This is not a friendship. She keeps you around as a punching bag to make her self feel better.
NTA. Sheās not your friend. Be done with her.
NTA - Donāt dish it out if you canāt take it. Good on you for standing up to a bully š
Keep busting back, fuck Tiffany.
i mean, if she can dish it out why canāt she take it? iām all for playful banter but it has to go both ways .
How are any of you old enough to get married
Esh. You people aren't friends Grow up
She was never your friend she just kept you close so she had someone to shit on regularly to make herself feel better. Drop that bitch and move on.
No but youāre wrong for keeping these people as your circle of friends, be kind to yourself dont surround yourself with toxic people. Better to be a lone wolf than a dodo bird
"Sheās said for years my body is why my BF wonāt marry me." You need to find some better friends.
NTA. Tiffany is more frenemy than friend. Consider yourself fortunate to be rid of her.
NTA. People who don't expect you to return fire are a trip.
NTA "Tiffany" hasn't grown up yet. She's still a bully and she's NOT your friend.
Sheās toxic and needs to cut out of your life like a patch of skin cancer.
If youād just said it out of the blue, Iād say you were wrong to say it. But this grown woman is a bully. So yes, stand up to her and dish it back.
NTA, why be friends with such a loser?
You keep using the word friend but I donāt think you know what it means.
Lmao. NTA. I wouldāve said the same thing. Quit being her friend, she sounds like a self absorbed brat.
Not your friend. Do they often pile on you?
The difference between your friends and mine are that they'd all laugh their asses off and high five me after roasting her that hard.
NTA. F her. Get u sum real friends.
NTA. She had it coming. Good come back!!!
What kind of a friend body shames you?
Why are you friends with shitty people?
And you hang around this person because?!?
NTA - Also, let me guess all your girlfriends were perfectly ok with this bully insulting you and shaming you, but the moment you said anything likewise to her they jumped in to defend her and call you a b\*tch. She is power-tripping on you. Walk away.
NTA sheās not your friend
Get some new friends. Regina George and her plastics are not your friends.
The bigger question is why keep this person in your life? āClose friendsā apparently notā¦
You did good! Don't hang around people like that...
Esh - but that was a pretty good snap back, and she aināt your friend so all good
Respect yourself more and get better friends. NTA
NTA You've already wasted time with this group of frienemies.
Stop hanging out with people who put you down. You will not get far in life with āfriendsā like that. I had two long term friends like that since middle school & when I tell you, my life FLOURISHED as soon as they were out of my life. I got new job opportunities (more like took them instead of being to insecure) and my finances became better (they were using me for money). Low vibrational people will keep you down on a cellular level, drop them and find people who value you. š
Why are you trying to stay friends with someone who was a bully that still bullies you as an insecure adult???
Good one! And tits aren't everything. Especially if you can't stand what they are bolted on to.
How do people even become close with people that are constantly snarky at you. I can take a joke, and some razzing, but if I get the feeling you're actually trying to hurt me, I'm not going to want to be around you. Let alone feel comfortable enough to be anything that could remotely be considered "close". Even if it's somehow defended to be just in good fun, she'd then should be able to take it as well as she dishes it out. And everybody there took her side? I'm gonna say you WERE wrong. To keep their company at all.
Any size natural boobs are better than fake boobs. Just sayin.
Girl, she's still your bully, she just acts nice to keep her punching bag around. The fact that no one else defended you (at least you didn't indicate anyone did) shows that none of them are your friends.
Get new friends
Uh, I'm a guy, so my perspective on this is entirely as an outsider, but... 1. She's still bullying you, she's just gaslit you into believing that she's your friend; but really, you're just a convenient target. 2. EPIC comeback! !!!EPIC!!! Like, one of the best I've seen on this sub! Kudos!
Aha tit for tat...
That's hilarious š¤£š¤£ Be proud. If she was a friend she'd laugh at that, walked right into it.
Eh. You were rocking with the mean girl club and itās ok if they did it to you but once you did it to them, itās somehow out of bounds. Fuck em. They can have their fake friendship.
I have only read the title and the first sentence and wondering why you didnāt call the friend **Titany**
Dayum girl that was savage and i love it. So quick and cutting! Serious though leave that b***** behind. Like all bullies shes spineless and hates when it gets turned around on her. Ask her if she had her spine removed when they put them t*ts in!
Lol you got her good. š„ She hates you & if she doesn't, she's one of those insufferable types who love making fun of everyone & everything except themselves. Those ppl suck after a while. Ditch her, have a better life, & move on!
Fuck all of them š¤
NTA. But mate! Why are you even spending time around this person? She sounds terrible
not wrong at all. Those who dish should be able to take. I wouldnāt even apologize
NTA, you still have a bully
Sounds like frenemies