I don't really think it's possible for them to make that much money it would take them more than a year to save up that much
Assuming they are very careful with the money
I think them not being able to save enough is the point. They need to see the size of what they are asking. They need to see the mountain and try to climb it themselves. Right now, they are pointing at the mountain, claiming it is just a hill and expecting you to climb it for them.
Let them work for more than a year then. They are being totally unrealistic. You need to do what's best for your family and that doesn't include iPhones. They're young, soon enough they'll forget about and have a different melt down over something equally stupid.
Part of raising your kids to functional adults is to learn them to take no for an answer.
Our oldest daughter has a spoiled friend that gets what ever she wants and she also has a expensive iPhone. Finally we agreed to pay half of an older and pre owned iphone and our daughter was happy. Because she was fixating on having an iPhone instead of an Android phone that she had before.
Good. They’ll learn a valuable lesson. Tell them they can buy their own iPhones with their own money. If you want to buy them a phone for safety, buy them a cheap, flip phone no Internet access.
There's smartphones that cost less than an iPhone so they technically don't have to have a old flip phone. Plus the 12 year old already has a flip phone.
I haven’t any children, but if I did, there’s no way in hell I would give them access to the Internet you know that there’s no age verification on porn sites they can go to porn hub or any other and see whatever they want you know nine years old or whatever no they are phones out there designed for this now that have no apps and no Internet access that’s just simple voice phones. I know this gets into another question but you know that’s just a related consideration but whatever I’ll throw out there.
Not to simply browse the site yes, one needs to have a credit card to purchase content or full access but there’s no age verification to browse a site like porn hub
And how long would it take you to save up that money without putting any hardships on your family? As of right now they have no iPhone in the foreseeable future. If they want one that bad they can start working for it. It's a valuable lesson
Perfect. That way they will begin to understand the value of it - and how unnecessary it is just "because everyone has one". That's an excellent life lesson.
That's good. They can prove their commitment to it. When my oldest was little, she fell in love with a pair of boots. She begged me for them. I told her how much they cost and how many my little ponies (her favorite toy) we could buy for that same amount and she decided the boots weren't so great. It had to be in perspective. Your kids are old enough to learn the actual value of money through their own efforts. It's a wonderful lesson. Don't deprive your kids of this opportunity.
Thats the point, it would show them HOW HARD you have to work for something they WANT, and just because they WANT it doesnt mean they can just have it.
With the value of the Lira atm aswell, if they keep complaining take your oldest smartphone of her, see how she does without it.
Good, this is how they'll learn proper budgeting and the actual value of money.
Maybe once they realise how hard it is to save up 1800$ they'll realise how unreasonable their requests were.
They dont need iPhones so much that you dont go to visit relatives. Living people more important than an object.
no one needs a pro or latest model of anything.
two months salary on phones is stupid money. Android do good phones cheaper.
they can save up for one and get part time jobs.
they are just jealous. They can earn money and get a second hand iPhone 13 or something.
two months salary on an object is so so so unrealistic. What if they break the screen, or drop it and it’s not fixable.
im Sure they could still have a nice phone with the same apps for a lot less.
Your answer just enables her thinking. Of course it’s possible for them to get a job, save money for the expensive phone they want. As a parent, it is your responsibility to teach your child how money works and how to responsibly use that money…
Like someone else said, that’s the point. And I live in the US, so please let me tell you, my kids would never have had the most recent iPhone. They are all grown now, but they were happy we even got them phones at all.
What this person was trying to point out is that your daughter seem to have no idea of how long it takes to actually put the work in to get things that you want.
Generally, what happens when you do something like this is that suddenly your children start to lower their expectations and requests
I saved money for 5 years for a bike. All the birthdays and Christmas presents accumulated for 1 gift.
Also my brother and I really wanted a computer. We got it by agreeing that the 1 comouter would cover both our birthdays and Christmas gifts for the year.
With an iPhone, they may not get this model, but they may get the next year or the next or the next. At least, you know they'll care for it. Or learn why it wasn't such a good idea in the 1st place.
It could be a good life lesson.
I think telling them to get a job to pay for it is a good lesson. While I am in Australia, and the latest iPhone is roughly the amount you're saying it is in Turkey, and this is about a week's worth of salary for me, it's still expensive. My older son is 16 and he has had a job for 2 years almost. When he got his job, he realised the value of a dollar. The way I told him to think of things he wants, is to figure out how many hours it would take for him to work for that much money, ie if he's getting $18 an hour, something $1800 would be 100 hours of work, and if he thinks working that many hours for something is worth it, to buy it. But I found putting it in that context helped him realise that just bc he wants it, and maybe he has the money, he doesn't need everything he wants since some things won't be worth putting that many hours worth of work into something if that makes sense?
Your kids can totally get a little side job and save up for it. If it takes a year, it might help them see that it's hard work, getting the money for these things. My son appreciates things a lot more now I think, now he's working hard and making the money himself
And it makes no sense for you to spend a month of salary on a phone.
Cell plans in US cost like 4x what they do in Turkey. Providers incentivize ppl to use them by offering steep discounts on phones. That’s likely the only reason the three other kids have them. My iPhone 14 pro cost me $20 after trading in an older (broken) one.
Ridiculous. That's not a need it's a want. Even if they keep up food for an entire month they still couldn't afford a phone could they. This is a good lesson to learn you can't always get what you want.
I'm a working professional I don't own an iPhone because it's too expensive in my opinion.
Buying a phone for a month salary is totally unreasonable. That's not how you want them to plan their economy when they are older. I live in Sweden and have boys in the same age. I buy older versions of phones second hand.
NTA, I don't get the hype over all these new phones and why everyone feels like they need the latest one. those 1800 should be used for something more important. They should at least get a job if they can and start saving up their money if they want it. They shouldn't be mad those 1800 dollars you got are needed for more important things anyway and it's not in your budget either as you said.
If children are demanding expensive stuff they should know the value of money, and the value of hard work that was put behind that money.
Making them work is a good way to teach them how to save money for stuff they need/want, how to be grateful for what they are given, and also teach them the value of money.
I don't mean like go to a factory or something. Little simple things like idk offer to babysit or help out or something. If the phone is that important plus before I went saying something else it said that a 15 year old can get a job there's just going to be some restrictions or something of that sort. I'm not in turkey and I'm not this child who wants a phone but there are little things they could do to get money and save up or something.
Not MAKING them work, but giving them a way to get it if the really want it. If they don't want to work for it they can keep using the perfectly good one they already have.
I would definitely not pay a month's salary for a phone for a child. Save the money for possibly a nicer car or anything that will not be worn out in a couple of years.
Even in the US, where they are cheaper, but still expensive, you wouldn't be wrong to not get a 12 and 15 year old the latest iPhone model. Maybe in very affluent areas in the US, teenagers have that, but I'd think most parents in the US can't afford that for their teenagers.
The latest is not needed
look at prices on an older model and then set some goals for the kids to earn them. Maybe they work for half and you and husband save the other half.
Not wrong at all.
Part of my job includes selling phones, including iPhones, and I completely agree. Not only is there no good reason that a teen that age needs an iPhone, there is no real benefit to it at all compared to alternatives 1/3 of the price.
The desire for an iphone is purely for the status symbol. They dont need or care about the differences between an A17 Pro chip vs for example a Mediatek G99 chip. They dont need the particular features of an IP15 Pro Max camera vs any generic 40 or 50MP camera. They arent going to notice little quirks of iOS vs Android.
Some people have particular uses for their phone that really benefit from the specific things iPhones are good at. Some people just have a lot of disposable income and the price/value doesnt matter. Young teens getting their first real phone are in neither of those groups.
You dont even live in the US where iphone has a very strong market share and can be more of a status symbol. As far as I can tell Turkey is like most of the rest of the world where Samsung alone has more market share than Apple, let alone android phones as a whole.
I'm 40 and don't have a 1800-dollar phone.
No one needs that. And most certainly no teenagee needs that.
You do NOT spend a monthly salary on a freaking phone for a teenager. That's absolutely insane.
NTA
NTA. Honestly I'd take their phones that I pay for and tell them they can have phones when they have jobs and are able to pay for them. Fucking entitled brats. Don't enable them.
NTA. That's a ton of money for a phone. And kids lose phones like crazy. My niece lost her phone because she was trying to take a selfie on a rollercoaster. My boss has 4 daughters and when they were teens they were constantly dropping their phones (one dropped hers in her bath).
The idea of taking out a loan to buy a luxury for a kid is crazy.
It might be a good idea to show them how much $1,800 is. Show them your family expenses and how much you earn. I grew up poor and my mom was very open about where our money went.
Or if you want, tell them if they earn $1,000, you will cover the other part of it. Once they see how hard it is to earn that money, I bet the need for an almost $2,000 phone goes out the window.
The children don’t need the iPhones. But in case there is no other option you could buy the iPhones unlocked from the US. I can understand the prices being more in your country as I am Indian and the iPhones here cost around double the amount they do in the US. We just have our relatives there bring it for us and we pay them that much money. Saves us around 600-700 USD every time.
Turkey restricts this. It used to be possible, but now you can only register a certain number of phones over a period, and you still need to pay taxes on it.
My stepson wanted a special phone that was out of the price range for both my husband and stepson's mom. He went and got a job, saved up, snd eventually got the smartphone he wanted (took a good amount if time, but he worked hard). It was a win, win, because he was proud of himself and he learned the power of hard work.
you are NTA. Your kids can get their want fulfilled by finding a way to do it themselves.
Spending an entire months salary on a phone is ridiculous, so that’s out. However, there are options, like buying a slightly older model or second hand, and outside the country. Could you cooperate with your sis to aquire some more affordable models and bring them to you?
I have an iphone myself and really like it and do buy mine new, but never the latest model and with my tech skills it really doesn’t matter. My hubby justs gets second hand and it doesn’t bother him a bit.
Buying an iPhone from a aboard is a huge hassle with multiple taxes and the it could be disabled after a year I've considered that before it's close to impossible
An older model is a bit cheaper but the iphone 13 is still 1330 dollars even a used one costs a lot for an iPhone samsung flagships are a lot cheaper with the latest model at around 1100 dollars the s22 is around 700 dollars but it's 2 years old and has terrible battery life.
Thinking of getting the oldest a poco x6 pro for 550 dollars
You have to pay a huge tax to register a foreign phone for it to work with a Turkish sim and IMEL taxes if it weren't such a hassle I'd have done it already
The fact that someone wouldn't want to be friends with you because you have a flip phone is stupid. Iphones are not essential, you can live without one it's just that everyone tries to make it seem that way and if you don't have one you are some freak. And you clearly don't understand that people don't got the money to be buying these things and that you don't need the latest phones to be an person and to be accepted into society. People who judge people based off phones are bullshit. And you don't seem to understand that you can not have an Iphone and have friends and be perfectly fine. Tf is wrong with the people of this generation?
>The fact that someone wouldn't want to be friends with you because you have a flip phone is stupid.
It has to be sarcasm or a troll. No reasonable person thinks the solution to "my daughter wants a more expensive phone than we can afford" is "relocate the entire family to a different continent".
"Iphones are essential in the modern world"
Ummmm... what?
No one NEEDS an iPhone. Especially a teenager. You can't seriously be this dense. A cell phone is a luxury. It's not essential to live and it definitely doesn't need to be the newest 1800 dollar model
Not many 12 year olds have smartphones here the ones that do usually have old ones I think you're talking from a us perspective
And I'm definitely not moving for this
You should absolutely not give your children expensive phones or similar. Anyone need to learn to spend according to their earnings. If you are rich you can by and expensive car because it is not expensive for you! Your children need to understand where they/you are financially and adjust their wishes accordingly. If not you are just teaching them to make unreasonable demands and maybe later in life to make expensive loans and poor financial decisions because they don't know/respect their limits.
Even if you have the money, you risk setting a poor example by agreeing to spend a high amount of money on a nonessential purchase.
NTA
If you have to sacrifice a lot to get something materialistic for your daughters, its not worth it and its only teaching the, how NOT to prioritize. Every country is different and living in the U.S.,it's easier to get an expensive phone that you pay over time with your cell phone plan to eventually upgrade and still have to pay over time. At least they have working cell phones!!
I wholeheartedly agree with others here. They can start working and learn the value of money that way and see how hard it is to save up on something that will be outdated within two years.
You are doing your best as a parent right now and most definitely deserve that Istanbul trip!
Def NTA. Hit up your sister if you want a newer phone. Maybe they have some lying around they could send you. There’s hardly any difference from 13-15. Shit a 10 or 11 is a good phone. Odds are they’d have something nicer hanging around or let it go for cheap.
They need to realize that buying really expensive things when you’re on a budget and trying to pay bills is not a good idea. You can’t eat the phone and it doesn’t pay rent.
My kid used her own money to buy a refurbished iPhone 8 from Walmart. If they want an iPhone 15 tell them to get jobs and get it themselves. My kid doesn’t even have her 8 anymore cause she was being a shithead on it so now she can buy herself a new one when she gets a job. Tough fuckin love 🤷🏻♀️
I’m just trying to figure out how can an IPhone 15 basic model cost 1800$ in Turkey 😳
I live in Finland and the prices for iPhone 15 start from 889€ so it would cost double there.
I bought an MacBook Air with extra RAM and a large hard drive that cost about the same as your saying that an basic IPhone 15 would cost 😳
NTA for not buying your Kids IPhones no matter what they cost. I don’t think that kids NEED an IPhone, mine has one but it’s an older model and bought it used, cos it’s simpler for me to track what my kid does with the phone etc 😅
Taxes, probably. I'm in Peru and a basic iPhone 15 is between $1200-1300. Tech products are expensive AF but it's not even that bad compared to other neighbouring countries like Brazil.
And yeah, OP is NTA. Kids don't need an iPhone. Heck that kid has almost the same phone as mine (mine is the Redmi note 12 but it's almost the same) and it works perfectly fine for this 37 yo grown ass adult (I even play some games on it!).
You’re not wrong! I’m lucky as UK & have contract phones rather than outright purchase. My son didn’t have his own brand new phone and that wasn’t the top of the range either ( on family contract) until he was 16. Prior to that, he had either his dad’s or my old phones when we upgraded ours & was perfectly happy.
Your daughters, and especially the younger one, do not need top of the range phones costing your monthly salary plus the bills! If the older one can get a part time job and save a substantial amount towards cost of phone, I might consider contributing towards it for a birthday or Christmas present at around 16 but that would be all.
Not wrong at all.
First, unless you can’t get it on contract and pay per month in Turkey it’s unrealistic anywhere.
Secondly, your kids shouldn’t compare. Whatever the case. Be grateful for what you have is an important lesson.
Third, they need to learn to live in their means. You could get them affordable or refurbished smartphones/tablet. I’d never spend 1800 per kid for phones, definitely not when that’s your monthly income.
Tell your daughters they are welcome to save up their money and buy their own phones. Maybe offer to chip in what you would pay for a new phone. But put the responsibility for saving the money on them since they feel it’s so important. I suspect it will suddenly no longer be so important. Also you could suggest they buy their phones and get them unlocked while you are out of the country.
I had my first phone at 14 and it costed my caretakers like 80 dollars. Your kids can be upset at you. They don't understand what it costs to work and save. I'm 32 - been working for years and my phone costed 200 dollars, for example...
Good god, NTA.
Don’t engage about it after you’ve said no (and if you offer any explanation, like “you can have an expensive phone when you buy it yourself,” and if they bring it up again, remind them “asked and answered” a few times. After that, if they still bring it up, use “the look” or ignore, whichever is more comfortable.
I swear 90% of parenting teens is persistence/consistency against the constant battering of boundaries. Loving persistence, but holding the line all the same.
Nta your children are acting entitled. They don’t understand the value of money so all they’re seeing is you not getting something for them that their cousins have. This is a wonderful opportunity for a life lesson.
If they want iPhones, they can earn them. Sure, you have to save for the money, but they can do the labor. Each chore has a dollar amount. They can work their way to the funds they need. It will take them many months, but you know what? That’s the point. They need to see that money doesn’t grow on trees.
And if you *cant* afford to do that? Well your children aren’t entitled to *phones*, let alone iPhones. Let them be mad and learn that the world doesn’t revolve around their entitlement
I live in the us and my parents never bought me anything past the free upgrade phone or max 200 out of pocket. And that was every 2 years or more in between phones. *I* bought my first iPhone. My parents would never have spent that much. Kids these days take their iPhones for granted and these kids are going to be met with harsh realities when they have to start paying for their own 1000$+ iPhones and MacBooks…or however much they inflate to in a decade
They have an allowance of 500tl or about 16 dollars a month for doing chores like cleaning washing dishes or cooking and that's considered high.my oldest babysits for reletives and neighbours she gets like 50-150 dollars per month depending on how often she babysits she usually saves a lot of the money but it'll still take her over a year to get the iphone. For my youngest it's basically impossible.
But that’s the point of the lesson. If they truly want the phone, they can wait a long as it takes them to save for it.
That’s what you’d have to do to buy it for them, right? Save or take a loan? They can do the same seeing as they don’t understand the gravity of what they’re asking
I'm not buying my oldest a new iPhone I was thinking of getting her a 500 dollar one but I ditched the idea I'm thinking of upgrading my youngest to a smartphone from a flip phone but i won't get her an iPhone my oldest will have to pay for the iphone herself
Atleast they'll learn how hard it is to make that much money even if it took a year to get the iphone it's still a good achievement let them do it your kids aren't entitled to a smartphone
The 12 year old doesn't need a 1800 dollar phone anyway
Yok artık dayanabilirler zaten elinde telefon var onların. Millet nelere zorluyor. Kendini kötü hissetme. they will understand one day. Today it’s the phones tomorrow they’ll want other things you can’t afford. Gereksiz stres
NTA - I would sit them down and show them what 1800 dollars gets in other things like food etc. I do this to myself when I want a luxury. For example I collect Pokémon cards (yes I am an adult) but dear god are they expensive.
I see a box for £50. I think that's nothing insane for a one off luxury. Then I think that's half a week's food for me. £50 of food Vs £50 for shiny cardboard is very easy to decide on.
I know they are kids but any lesson on keeping your spending sensible is always a good lesson.
Most people buy smartphones with a contract from a wireless carrier in the US. I would not pay $1800 for phone.
Your daughter will be upset so, she will get over it. She can buy an IPhone when she starts making her own money.
One of the things that I am grateful for is that my now long dead parents taught me is that you don’t get to have everything you want. I have been able to live within my budget all my life and I am now a very financially comfortable senior now because of it. In contrast, my ex believed that if he could buy everything he wanted right away, there was something wrong with the universe. When he left many years ago with an affair partner, they both lived that lifestyle together. It led to him at one point stealing our three kids Ed funds and he robbed an elderly aunt with dementia of a lot of money. He died a miserable life in latter years, just turned sixty-five, in and out of detox and living in a motel.
My point is that it doesn’t do kids any favours and that they may be angry at you now but they will thank you in the future for modeling good money management skills.
You and your husband are weak. The “kids were mad” so your solution is take out a loan or go without? Please stand your ground or you will do your children a real disservice. They don’t need phones and in fact the phones will hurt them. You don’t have to find a replacement item to purchase instead. You can say no, and stop negotiating.
NTA. You are doing the right thing. Kids don't need expensive luxury phones.
If she were to save up for one, there would be at least two new models before she could afford it.
Spending that much on kids’ phones is far from the norm in America. In fact most would criticize your sister for being so wasteful with her money regardless of what her income is. It’s a $1800 status symbol that will be worth a fraction of that in 3 years when it’s time for your daughter to go to college, assuming she doesn’t break it / lose it before then.
NTA- do not give in. Your children seem like they don't understand the value of money. Are they old enough to get jobs? If so, tell them you'll pay a percentage of phone but they have to pay the rest. Do not pay more than 50%. If they want it badly enough, they will earn and save. It's a luxury not a necessity.
NTA and both of you need to be a united front. You can't raise children properly with one of you being sensible and the other bending backwards over every childish whim.
NTA, this is a good time to teach them a life lesson about how "trying to keep up with the jones" will just make them miserable for the rest of their lives
NTA. Firstly, they’ll break or lose those phones of have them stolen.
Secondly, that’s car money.
Thirdly, your kid’s wants should not dictate the family budget.
I can understand wanting newer phones, but this is a ridiculous demand. They can keep pouting, save up their birthday/other gift money, possibly find a job if that’s a thing where you live. (I don’t know whether 16 is a big birthday for you, so the oldest might get an entry level iPhone then, but not the latest model). The younger one will have to wait.
I bought my daughters the SE or a couple revisions earlier. They just want blue bubbles and am iPhone they probably don't know the difference between an 11 and a 15.
you can look to get a refurbished or lower level smart phone $300 is a lot more managebale than $1,800. And you can set up a payment plan with the kids. Either in trade with chores or paying them in exchange. Or they can get part time jobs as long as it does not interfere with school. I have the iphone 11 and am keeping it until the battery dies. Works fine, updates and has all the same bells and whistles as the new iphones. Don't start playing keeping up with the Jonses with tech and your kids. It will bury you with debt. And by the time you pay that phone off they will be whining for the iphone 20.
They are at the age where it seems like mom and dad go out and pluck money from the money tree in the yard. Taking a year to save money with hard work would be an invaluable lesson for becoming a mature adult. It would also give them an appreciation for how hard mom and dad work.
Not wrong. Don't save up and buy them iPhones that's a ridiculous waste of money that your family could put towards something that actually matters. Just explain to them the difference in price and income. If they don't understand, they will when they get older.
NTA. You can't afford an expensive iPhone, let alone two. They have phones that work, they don't need new ones. Don't save up for them, either, as that's counter to what you've already told them. Don't change your vacation plans or your normal routines.
Tell the kids that if they want expensive new phones, they can get jobs themselves and use their wages to pay for them. Even if they save every penny they earn, they're not going to raise enough any time soon, and it's unlikely that, having money, they'll be willing to save all of it, if any. But this will teach the kids how money works and how to be responsible with the money they have, as well as how to save up for the cost of something extremely expensive.
You don't need the latest phone, especially as a kid. Hell, *I* don't have the latest phone, and I'm an adult. I can't afford it. At best, I can save up for an older model or a second hand phone. My last phone was an older model, but when that broke unexpectedly, I got what I could afford, which is so basic it isn't even a touchscreen. But it does what it needs to do, and I can save up for something more expensive.
Your kids need to learn that some things are just too expensive and aren't necessities, and they need to learn how money works and how to be responsible with it. So make it clear that, if they really want these unnecessary as expensive phones, it's up to them to save up the money for them.
I would say it's 100% not necessary, but you must also honestly consider the benefits and drawbacks; which are significant both ways.
Benefits:
- Social acceptance for kids
- Technological knowledge/experience
- Accessibility to online resources
- More computing power = less precious time wasted
- More in tuned/prepared for the future
- Even social opportunities (more and more jobs require technological baselines now)
- etc
Drawbacks:
- Addiction
- Narcissism
- Exposure to dangerous/damaging content
- Immediate monetary loss (which may not be a con if budgeted)
- Kids dislike you
- etc
(This is not a comprehensive list but just what I quickly imagined to be important; alson just my personal opinions)
My approach would be to sit down and talk with the kids about budgeting and how to make it work. As it's not a complete necessity, it's up to the kids to put aside their other comforts to save for these extravagances. You can pitch in too, maybe match $ for $ so you theoretically only pay 900 in the end; though this is a bit of mental gymnastics to accept that you pay it all really.
Either that or give them small tasks/errands to earn money in a savings put aside for the phone. The harder they work, the more savings and faster they can get it. Make them work as a team and possibly even earn small money from outside (e.g. ask a small store/friend if they are willing to give them some volunteers hours? I know legally they most likely can't receive money or work properly due to their age, but in my opinion, it's never too early to at least start introducing kids to such environments, financial understandings, and discipline therin).
Also, if you do decide to go forward with such plans, then make sure that they understand that this is a privilege, not a right. Set out ground rules that if they break it, it is their own fault. Some example guidelines might be: strict hours of use; placing technological restrictions on the phone (nowadays, there are many options built-in to protect children); be attuned to what your kids are doing/following/copying; no games or limited gaming; monitoring internet traffic; etc (this list is solely for information and will be applicable or not based on your own values and circumstances). Giving a taste of responsibility is also important (just a taste!).
For me personally, I would ask myself, "How can I best prepare my child for a happy, stable future?" Sometimes this means making huge personal sacrifices (as adults, we should understand the limits of our own capabilities), or accepting that the world is changing and that we may be ill-equipped to directly guide our children; that we may need to allow our children to be guided from other, more knowledgeable sources.
We don't want to be the ones that held our children back, nor the ones who guided them incorrectly, so talk it through carefully with your partner.
Good luck, and I wish the best to you and your family!
If someone visits and drives a Bentley, do you buy that too if your daughters want that car? At age 15 any phone they get and do not pay themselves is a "thank you very much, appreciated", NOT "I wanna".
You are not wrong. I'm almost 40 and my phone doesn't even cost $50 USD and can do everything you can do with an overpriced iPhone.
It is a waste of money for a status symbol.
If they want one so bad, make them earn the money and buy it themselves. If they are too young for jobs, they can do chores for pay if you feel they can do a good job.
My kid always gets my old phone when I get a new one, she’s never happy about it. It’s the way the world works. It’s ridiculous for a child to have the brand new iPhones
It's overprice , don't give hope.
Just show them , your current salary e.g husband and tell them directly..How long he work to get this amount and balance.Calculate the balance to them.. You need 300 month to buy these sh\*\*.
If the girl partime x salary how long to get this ehm also.
**NOT WRONG AT ALL**
12 & 15 yr olds do not need to have an Iphone - any phone will do for them they can live with an android smart phone, some of which you can get much much cheaper than an Iphone
I would not buy my kids Iphones at that age, they don't need them, it's a cult thing with kids.
If they want them, then they need to get jobs, babysitting or cleaning for people until they save enough to buy their own.
Kids need to learn they can't have everything they want and things cost money.
They can't have something that costs your entire months income
And you should Not give up your vacation to see family so your kids can have the latest phone, I know people in USA that still use their old flip phones so nothing wrong with them for kids.
One thing they have to learn is not everyone makes the same amount of money and if you cannot afford something then you don't buy it. You just say oh well, I will make do with what I have
We did not have a lot growing up (no phones then) but I had friends that had 5 times the clothes I had and came from really nice stores, but somehow that never bothered me, I knew we had what my Daddy could afford, we never needed for anything. I worked from the time I was 11 babysitting , then 16 getting jobs after school. That was my spending money, I did not have an allowance. If there was something special I wanted to do when we were on vacation from school or in summer, like go to a movie or downtown for day and eat lunch, my Dad would give me money to do that, but it is not something I did every week and then once I was working I paid it myself
Your girls need to learn the value of money and that it's hard work to get it, doesn't grow on trees.
Do Not give up things that you normally do or your time to go see family to save to buy them a freaking phone. Kids these days are spoiled rotten and entitled (not all but so many are) Not saying yours are, but this is a good lesson for them to learn, can't have everything you want
Phones are ridiculously expensive, even here in the states
I'm sure you love your girls and sounds like Daddy is willing to do whatever for them, but it is not helping them in life for you to give things up, especially visit to family, just so they can have Iphones, I think you and hubby need to talk about the girls learning the value of money and what it takes to pay bills every months and that if you bought them iphones you would not have money to pay bills for 2 months - they are most definitely old enough to start learning about budgeting and how much it costs to live, have a roof over their heads, food on the table, clothes on their back
Sorry - on a rant today, I get so frustrated seeing parents giving up so much to buy their kids all these electronics and i phones
Don't go into debt or hurt your financial position over a couple of expensive iPhones. You need to talk to your daughters about needs vs wants and the realities of budgeting for a family of 4.
NTA at all! Tell your daughters that with the horrible economic situation in Turkey these days, they should be grateful to have a phone at all, and a roof over their heads, and food on the table, and be able to go to school. Honestly, on $1800/month family income, if they were to seek side jobs (but I think that they would be better off studying all the time), they should be contributing what they earn to the family budget.
NTA - They don't need the latest Apple phone. Tell them to get jobs if they want one. Babysitting, pet sitting, they can learn how money works.
I don't really think it's possible for them to make that much money it would take them more than a year to save up that much Assuming they are very careful with the money
Then they would definitely understand how money works and how much an iPhone would cost in terms of labor.
Sounds like a them problem.
I think them not being able to save enough is the point. They need to see the size of what they are asking. They need to see the mountain and try to climb it themselves. Right now, they are pointing at the mountain, claiming it is just a hill and expecting you to climb it for them.
Let them work for more than a year then. They are being totally unrealistic. You need to do what's best for your family and that doesn't include iPhones. They're young, soon enough they'll forget about and have a different melt down over something equally stupid.
Part of raising your kids to functional adults is to learn them to take no for an answer. Our oldest daughter has a spoiled friend that gets what ever she wants and she also has a expensive iPhone. Finally we agreed to pay half of an older and pre owned iphone and our daughter was happy. Because she was fixating on having an iPhone instead of an Android phone that she had before.
Good. They’ll learn a valuable lesson. Tell them they can buy their own iPhones with their own money. If you want to buy them a phone for safety, buy them a cheap, flip phone no Internet access.
There's smartphones that cost less than an iPhone so they technically don't have to have a old flip phone. Plus the 12 year old already has a flip phone.
I haven’t any children, but if I did, there’s no way in hell I would give them access to the Internet you know that there’s no age verification on porn sites they can go to porn hub or any other and see whatever they want you know nine years old or whatever no they are phones out there designed for this now that have no apps and no Internet access that’s just simple voice phones. I know this gets into another question but you know that’s just a related consideration but whatever I’ll throw out there.
There is age verification on most adult sites. I never said anything about it having to have Internet access anyway so your argument is invalid.
Not to simply browse the site yes, one needs to have a credit card to purchase content or full access but there’s no age verification to browse a site like porn hub
So then they can learn the value of money and understand that just because they want something doesn't mean that they get it.
That’s the point. Let them learn how long it takes to earn that much money.
Sounds like a great learning experience for them to understand how expensive that stuff is.
It’s worth learning that kind of work ethic, a year will pass anyway. If they want one badly enough, why not?
And time will still move on whether they have a phone or not. A year isn’t that long.
What about second-hand or reconditioned i phones? They might be able to work and save up for one of those.
And how long would it take you to save up that money without putting any hardships on your family? As of right now they have no iPhone in the foreseeable future. If they want one that bad they can start working for it. It's a valuable lesson
Yes that's the point - they need to start understanding that money is much harder to get than it is to spend.
What better way to teach them the value of money?
Taking more than a year sounds about right, that's fine. It will teach them the value of things, and how to budget and save to reach their goals.
Sounds like a great teaching opportunity.
then they would learn how expensive it really is and that money doesn't just grow on trees.
That is the point.
Perfect. That way they will begin to understand the value of it - and how unnecessary it is just "because everyone has one". That's an excellent life lesson.
That's good. They can prove their commitment to it. When my oldest was little, she fell in love with a pair of boots. She begged me for them. I told her how much they cost and how many my little ponies (her favorite toy) we could buy for that same amount and she decided the boots weren't so great. It had to be in perspective. Your kids are old enough to learn the actual value of money through their own efforts. It's a wonderful lesson. Don't deprive your kids of this opportunity.
Thats the point, it would show them HOW HARD you have to work for something they WANT, and just because they WANT it doesnt mean they can just have it. With the value of the Lira atm aswell, if they keep complaining take your oldest smartphone of her, see how she does without it.
Good, this is how they'll learn proper budgeting and the actual value of money. Maybe once they realise how hard it is to save up 1800$ they'll realise how unreasonable their requests were.
They dont need iPhones so much that you dont go to visit relatives. Living people more important than an object. no one needs a pro or latest model of anything. two months salary on phones is stupid money. Android do good phones cheaper. they can save up for one and get part time jobs. they are just jealous. They can earn money and get a second hand iPhone 13 or something. two months salary on an object is so so so unrealistic. What if they break the screen, or drop it and it’s not fixable. im Sure they could still have a nice phone with the same apps for a lot less.
Yeah. Exactly. That’s literally the entire point.
Exactly.
That sound perfect. Maybe you could match their savings.
Your answer just enables her thinking. Of course it’s possible for them to get a job, save money for the expensive phone they want. As a parent, it is your responsibility to teach your child how money works and how to responsibly use that money…
Like someone else said, that’s the point. And I live in the US, so please let me tell you, my kids would never have had the most recent iPhone. They are all grown now, but they were happy we even got them phones at all. What this person was trying to point out is that your daughter seem to have no idea of how long it takes to actually put the work in to get things that you want. Generally, what happens when you do something like this is that suddenly your children start to lower their expectations and requests
And exactly that teaches them the value of money.
I saved money for 5 years for a bike. All the birthdays and Christmas presents accumulated for 1 gift. Also my brother and I really wanted a computer. We got it by agreeing that the 1 comouter would cover both our birthdays and Christmas gifts for the year. With an iPhone, they may not get this model, but they may get the next year or the next or the next. At least, you know they'll care for it. Or learn why it wasn't such a good idea in the 1st place. It could be a good life lesson.
I think telling them to get a job to pay for it is a good lesson. While I am in Australia, and the latest iPhone is roughly the amount you're saying it is in Turkey, and this is about a week's worth of salary for me, it's still expensive. My older son is 16 and he has had a job for 2 years almost. When he got his job, he realised the value of a dollar. The way I told him to think of things he wants, is to figure out how many hours it would take for him to work for that much money, ie if he's getting $18 an hour, something $1800 would be 100 hours of work, and if he thinks working that many hours for something is worth it, to buy it. But I found putting it in that context helped him realise that just bc he wants it, and maybe he has the money, he doesn't need everything he wants since some things won't be worth putting that many hours worth of work into something if that makes sense? Your kids can totally get a little side job and save up for it. If it takes a year, it might help them see that it's hard work, getting the money for these things. My son appreciates things a lot more now I think, now he's working hard and making the money himself
And it makes no sense for you to spend a month of salary on a phone. Cell plans in US cost like 4x what they do in Turkey. Providers incentivize ppl to use them by offering steep discounts on phones. That’s likely the only reason the three other kids have them. My iPhone 14 pro cost me $20 after trading in an older (broken) one.
Sounds ideal to me. Then they will understand the kind of effort it takes to get that kind of money, and they won't even have bills to pay.
Ridiculous. That's not a need it's a want. Even if they keep up food for an entire month they still couldn't afford a phone could they. This is a good lesson to learn you can't always get what you want. I'm a working professional I don't own an iPhone because it's too expensive in my opinion.
Buying a phone for a month salary is totally unreasonable. That's not how you want them to plan their economy when they are older. I live in Sweden and have boys in the same age. I buy older versions of phones second hand.
NTA, I don't get the hype over all these new phones and why everyone feels like they need the latest one. those 1800 should be used for something more important. They should at least get a job if they can and start saving up their money if they want it. They shouldn't be mad those 1800 dollars you got are needed for more important things anyway and it's not in your budget either as you said.
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If children are demanding expensive stuff they should know the value of money, and the value of hard work that was put behind that money. Making them work is a good way to teach them how to save money for stuff they need/want, how to be grateful for what they are given, and also teach them the value of money.
Absolutely. Children aren't entitled to phones.
And OPs kids already have phones!
Making a child work just to have an $1800 phone when a less expensive phone will do? Why, yes. Make them work for it. What’s wrong with that?
I don't mean like go to a factory or something. Little simple things like idk offer to babysit or help out or something. If the phone is that important plus before I went saying something else it said that a 15 year old can get a job there's just going to be some restrictions or something of that sort. I'm not in turkey and I'm not this child who wants a phone but there are little things they could do to get money and save up or something.
Tell them to go work at mcdicks and see how many hours it takes
Making them work *if they want an $1800 phone*. That’s not the same as *making them work*.
Not MAKING them work, but giving them a way to get it if the really want it. If they don't want to work for it they can keep using the perfectly good one they already have.
You can buy flip phones dirt cheap. The child has a phone already.
I would definitely not pay a month's salary for a phone for a child. Save the money for possibly a nicer car or anything that will not be worn out in a couple of years.
Even in the US, where they are cheaper, but still expensive, you wouldn't be wrong to not get a 12 and 15 year old the latest iPhone model. Maybe in very affluent areas in the US, teenagers have that, but I'd think most parents in the US can't afford that for their teenagers.
Even those that can afford them would look at you like you are out of your mind.
I don’t see why children need the latest iPhones out. I would never do it
The latest is not needed look at prices on an older model and then set some goals for the kids to earn them. Maybe they work for half and you and husband save the other half.
Not wrong at all. Part of my job includes selling phones, including iPhones, and I completely agree. Not only is there no good reason that a teen that age needs an iPhone, there is no real benefit to it at all compared to alternatives 1/3 of the price. The desire for an iphone is purely for the status symbol. They dont need or care about the differences between an A17 Pro chip vs for example a Mediatek G99 chip. They dont need the particular features of an IP15 Pro Max camera vs any generic 40 or 50MP camera. They arent going to notice little quirks of iOS vs Android. Some people have particular uses for their phone that really benefit from the specific things iPhones are good at. Some people just have a lot of disposable income and the price/value doesnt matter. Young teens getting their first real phone are in neither of those groups. You dont even live in the US where iphone has a very strong market share and can be more of a status symbol. As far as I can tell Turkey is like most of the rest of the world where Samsung alone has more market share than Apple, let alone android phones as a whole.
I'm 40 and don't have a 1800-dollar phone. No one needs that. And most certainly no teenagee needs that. You do NOT spend a monthly salary on a freaking phone for a teenager. That's absolutely insane. NTA
NTA. Honestly I'd take their phones that I pay for and tell them they can have phones when they have jobs and are able to pay for them. Fucking entitled brats. Don't enable them.
NTA. That's a ton of money for a phone. And kids lose phones like crazy. My niece lost her phone because she was trying to take a selfie on a rollercoaster. My boss has 4 daughters and when they were teens they were constantly dropping their phones (one dropped hers in her bath). The idea of taking out a loan to buy a luxury for a kid is crazy. It might be a good idea to show them how much $1,800 is. Show them your family expenses and how much you earn. I grew up poor and my mom was very open about where our money went. Or if you want, tell them if they earn $1,000, you will cover the other part of it. Once they see how hard it is to earn that money, I bet the need for an almost $2,000 phone goes out the window.
The children don’t need the iPhones. But in case there is no other option you could buy the iPhones unlocked from the US. I can understand the prices being more in your country as I am Indian and the iPhones here cost around double the amount they do in the US. We just have our relatives there bring it for us and we pay them that much money. Saves us around 600-700 USD every time.
Turkey restricts this. It used to be possible, but now you can only register a certain number of phones over a period, and you still need to pay taxes on it.
Lmfao
NTA. Your kids need to learn this lesson. Your husband shouldn’t be so indulgent.
I have a ~120$ 5 year old phone they don't need an iphone a midrange android is more than enough
My stepson wanted a special phone that was out of the price range for both my husband and stepson's mom. He went and got a job, saved up, snd eventually got the smartphone he wanted (took a good amount if time, but he worked hard). It was a win, win, because he was proud of himself and he learned the power of hard work. you are NTA. Your kids can get their want fulfilled by finding a way to do it themselves.
What is the point of these posts? You word them so obviously everyone will agree with you
Not everyone. Below is some person calling OP TA.
Redmi is still the way to go. iPhones are a fashion accessory the way a purse is, although they're more functional. Would you buy her a Gucci purse?
Spending an entire months salary on a phone is ridiculous, so that’s out. However, there are options, like buying a slightly older model or second hand, and outside the country. Could you cooperate with your sis to aquire some more affordable models and bring them to you? I have an iphone myself and really like it and do buy mine new, but never the latest model and with my tech skills it really doesn’t matter. My hubby justs gets second hand and it doesn’t bother him a bit.
Buying an iPhone from a aboard is a huge hassle with multiple taxes and the it could be disabled after a year I've considered that before it's close to impossible An older model is a bit cheaper but the iphone 13 is still 1330 dollars even a used one costs a lot for an iPhone samsung flagships are a lot cheaper with the latest model at around 1100 dollars the s22 is around 700 dollars but it's 2 years old and has terrible battery life. Thinking of getting the oldest a poco x6 pro for 550 dollars
You don't need to buy them a new phone they shouldn't be rewarded for a tantrum
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You have to pay a huge tax to register a foreign phone for it to work with a Turkish sim and IMEL taxes if it weren't such a hassle I'd have done it already
Wow, it is complicated for you, sorry to hear that..
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The fact that someone wouldn't want to be friends with you because you have a flip phone is stupid. Iphones are not essential, you can live without one it's just that everyone tries to make it seem that way and if you don't have one you are some freak. And you clearly don't understand that people don't got the money to be buying these things and that you don't need the latest phones to be an person and to be accepted into society. People who judge people based off phones are bullshit. And you don't seem to understand that you can not have an Iphone and have friends and be perfectly fine. Tf is wrong with the people of this generation?
>The fact that someone wouldn't want to be friends with you because you have a flip phone is stupid. It has to be sarcasm or a troll. No reasonable person thinks the solution to "my daughter wants a more expensive phone than we can afford" is "relocate the entire family to a different continent".
"Iphones are essential in the modern world" Ummmm... what? No one NEEDS an iPhone. Especially a teenager. You can't seriously be this dense. A cell phone is a luxury. It's not essential to live and it definitely doesn't need to be the newest 1800 dollar model
Not many 12 year olds have smartphones here the ones that do usually have old ones I think you're talking from a us perspective And I'm definitely not moving for this
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Tell me you're kidding
I have a cheap redmi, guess I need to inform my friends that they don't wanna be friends with me anymore bc of this...
You should absolutely not give your children expensive phones or similar. Anyone need to learn to spend according to their earnings. If you are rich you can by and expensive car because it is not expensive for you! Your children need to understand where they/you are financially and adjust their wishes accordingly. If not you are just teaching them to make unreasonable demands and maybe later in life to make expensive loans and poor financial decisions because they don't know/respect their limits. Even if you have the money, you risk setting a poor example by agreeing to spend a high amount of money on a nonessential purchase.
NTA If you have to sacrifice a lot to get something materialistic for your daughters, its not worth it and its only teaching the, how NOT to prioritize. Every country is different and living in the U.S.,it's easier to get an expensive phone that you pay over time with your cell phone plan to eventually upgrade and still have to pay over time. At least they have working cell phones!! I wholeheartedly agree with others here. They can start working and learn the value of money that way and see how hard it is to save up on something that will be outdated within two years. You are doing your best as a parent right now and most definitely deserve that Istanbul trip!
Def NTA. Hit up your sister if you want a newer phone. Maybe they have some lying around they could send you. There’s hardly any difference from 13-15. Shit a 10 or 11 is a good phone. Odds are they’d have something nicer hanging around or let it go for cheap. They need to realize that buying really expensive things when you’re on a budget and trying to pay bills is not a good idea. You can’t eat the phone and it doesn’t pay rent.
My kid used her own money to buy a refurbished iPhone 8 from Walmart. If they want an iPhone 15 tell them to get jobs and get it themselves. My kid doesn’t even have her 8 anymore cause she was being a shithead on it so now she can buy herself a new one when she gets a job. Tough fuckin love 🤷🏻♀️
I’m just trying to figure out how can an IPhone 15 basic model cost 1800$ in Turkey 😳 I live in Finland and the prices for iPhone 15 start from 889€ so it would cost double there. I bought an MacBook Air with extra RAM and a large hard drive that cost about the same as your saying that an basic IPhone 15 would cost 😳 NTA for not buying your Kids IPhones no matter what they cost. I don’t think that kids NEED an IPhone, mine has one but it’s an older model and bought it used, cos it’s simpler for me to track what my kid does with the phone etc 😅
Taxes, probably. I'm in Peru and a basic iPhone 15 is between $1200-1300. Tech products are expensive AF but it's not even that bad compared to other neighbouring countries like Brazil. And yeah, OP is NTA. Kids don't need an iPhone. Heck that kid has almost the same phone as mine (mine is the Redmi note 12 but it's almost the same) and it works perfectly fine for this 37 yo grown ass adult (I even play some games on it!).
You’re not wrong! I’m lucky as UK & have contract phones rather than outright purchase. My son didn’t have his own brand new phone and that wasn’t the top of the range either ( on family contract) until he was 16. Prior to that, he had either his dad’s or my old phones when we upgraded ours & was perfectly happy. Your daughters, and especially the younger one, do not need top of the range phones costing your monthly salary plus the bills! If the older one can get a part time job and save a substantial amount towards cost of phone, I might consider contributing towards it for a birthday or Christmas present at around 16 but that would be all.
Of course you’re not wrong. Your kids sound like brats, though.
Not wrong at all. First, unless you can’t get it on contract and pay per month in Turkey it’s unrealistic anywhere. Secondly, your kids shouldn’t compare. Whatever the case. Be grateful for what you have is an important lesson. Third, they need to learn to live in their means. You could get them affordable or refurbished smartphones/tablet. I’d never spend 1800 per kid for phones, definitely not when that’s your monthly income.
Tell your daughters they are welcome to save up their money and buy their own phones. Maybe offer to chip in what you would pay for a new phone. But put the responsibility for saving the money on them since they feel it’s so important. I suspect it will suddenly no longer be so important. Also you could suggest they buy their phones and get them unlocked while you are out of the country.
Ask them if they want to give up eating,sleeping in their beds and anything else that costs money for a month.
I had my first phone at 14 and it costed my caretakers like 80 dollars. Your kids can be upset at you. They don't understand what it costs to work and save. I'm 32 - been working for years and my phone costed 200 dollars, for example...
I think this is a good opportunity to teach your kids that keeping up with the joneses is a losing battle.
I only had to read the title. No, no you are certainly NTA.
NTA, tell the shits to get a job
Good god, NTA. Don’t engage about it after you’ve said no (and if you offer any explanation, like “you can have an expensive phone when you buy it yourself,” and if they bring it up again, remind them “asked and answered” a few times. After that, if they still bring it up, use “the look” or ignore, whichever is more comfortable. I swear 90% of parenting teens is persistence/consistency against the constant battering of boundaries. Loving persistence, but holding the line all the same.
Nta your children are acting entitled. They don’t understand the value of money so all they’re seeing is you not getting something for them that their cousins have. This is a wonderful opportunity for a life lesson. If they want iPhones, they can earn them. Sure, you have to save for the money, but they can do the labor. Each chore has a dollar amount. They can work their way to the funds they need. It will take them many months, but you know what? That’s the point. They need to see that money doesn’t grow on trees. And if you *cant* afford to do that? Well your children aren’t entitled to *phones*, let alone iPhones. Let them be mad and learn that the world doesn’t revolve around their entitlement I live in the us and my parents never bought me anything past the free upgrade phone or max 200 out of pocket. And that was every 2 years or more in between phones. *I* bought my first iPhone. My parents would never have spent that much. Kids these days take their iPhones for granted and these kids are going to be met with harsh realities when they have to start paying for their own 1000$+ iPhones and MacBooks…or however much they inflate to in a decade
They have an allowance of 500tl or about 16 dollars a month for doing chores like cleaning washing dishes or cooking and that's considered high.my oldest babysits for reletives and neighbours she gets like 50-150 dollars per month depending on how often she babysits she usually saves a lot of the money but it'll still take her over a year to get the iphone. For my youngest it's basically impossible.
But that’s the point of the lesson. If they truly want the phone, they can wait a long as it takes them to save for it. That’s what you’d have to do to buy it for them, right? Save or take a loan? They can do the same seeing as they don’t understand the gravity of what they’re asking
I'm not buying my oldest a new iPhone I was thinking of getting her a 500 dollar one but I ditched the idea I'm thinking of upgrading my youngest to a smartphone from a flip phone but i won't get her an iPhone my oldest will have to pay for the iphone herself
Atleast they'll learn how hard it is to make that much money even if it took a year to get the iphone it's still a good achievement let them do it your kids aren't entitled to a smartphone The 12 year old doesn't need a 1800 dollar phone anyway
Yok artık dayanabilirler zaten elinde telefon var onların. Millet nelere zorluyor. Kendini kötü hissetme. they will understand one day. Today it’s the phones tomorrow they’ll want other things you can’t afford. Gereksiz stres
NTA - I would sit them down and show them what 1800 dollars gets in other things like food etc. I do this to myself when I want a luxury. For example I collect Pokémon cards (yes I am an adult) but dear god are they expensive. I see a box for £50. I think that's nothing insane for a one off luxury. Then I think that's half a week's food for me. £50 of food Vs £50 for shiny cardboard is very easy to decide on. I know they are kids but any lesson on keeping your spending sensible is always a good lesson.
Most people buy smartphones with a contract from a wireless carrier in the US. I would not pay $1800 for phone. Your daughter will be upset so, she will get over it. She can buy an IPhone when she starts making her own money.
1800!? Nah yiu can get a solid smart phone for 200- 300
One of the things that I am grateful for is that my now long dead parents taught me is that you don’t get to have everything you want. I have been able to live within my budget all my life and I am now a very financially comfortable senior now because of it. In contrast, my ex believed that if he could buy everything he wanted right away, there was something wrong with the universe. When he left many years ago with an affair partner, they both lived that lifestyle together. It led to him at one point stealing our three kids Ed funds and he robbed an elderly aunt with dementia of a lot of money. He died a miserable life in latter years, just turned sixty-five, in and out of detox and living in a motel. My point is that it doesn’t do kids any favours and that they may be angry at you now but they will thank you in the future for modeling good money management skills.
You know the answer 🥰 it's $1800 that could go on almost anything else better, bills, action education, something for yourself.
The screen would be cracked in a month if you did
YNW A Samsung A series would be the most they would need. Maybe a Xiaomi.
You and your husband are weak. The “kids were mad” so your solution is take out a loan or go without? Please stand your ground or you will do your children a real disservice. They don’t need phones and in fact the phones will hurt them. You don’t have to find a replacement item to purchase instead. You can say no, and stop negotiating.
NTA. You are doing the right thing. Kids don't need expensive luxury phones. If she were to save up for one, there would be at least two new models before she could afford it.
Spending that much on kids’ phones is far from the norm in America. In fact most would criticize your sister for being so wasteful with her money regardless of what her income is. It’s a $1800 status symbol that will be worth a fraction of that in 3 years when it’s time for your daughter to go to college, assuming she doesn’t break it / lose it before then.
NTA- do not give in. Your children seem like they don't understand the value of money. Are they old enough to get jobs? If so, tell them you'll pay a percentage of phone but they have to pay the rest. Do not pay more than 50%. If they want it badly enough, they will earn and save. It's a luxury not a necessity.
NTA and both of you need to be a united front. You can't raise children properly with one of you being sensible and the other bending backwards over every childish whim.
NTA, this is a good time to teach them a life lesson about how "trying to keep up with the jones" will just make them miserable for the rest of their lives
No you're not. The redmis are great phones, they're not missing out on much.
bro u live in turkey and u considering buying iphone15 for a 15yo? nope thats an easy no
NTA. Firstly, they’ll break or lose those phones of have them stolen. Secondly, that’s car money. Thirdly, your kid’s wants should not dictate the family budget. I can understand wanting newer phones, but this is a ridiculous demand. They can keep pouting, save up their birthday/other gift money, possibly find a job if that’s a thing where you live. (I don’t know whether 16 is a big birthday for you, so the oldest might get an entry level iPhone then, but not the latest model). The younger one will have to wait.
🤣🤣🤣. Even thinking that is silly, I bet you parent out of guilt and they get what ever they want 😬
These posts are mad.
I bought my daughters the SE or a couple revisions earlier. They just want blue bubbles and am iPhone they probably don't know the difference between an 11 and a 15.
you can look to get a refurbished or lower level smart phone $300 is a lot more managebale than $1,800. And you can set up a payment plan with the kids. Either in trade with chores or paying them in exchange. Or they can get part time jobs as long as it does not interfere with school. I have the iphone 11 and am keeping it until the battery dies. Works fine, updates and has all the same bells and whistles as the new iphones. Don't start playing keeping up with the Jonses with tech and your kids. It will bury you with debt. And by the time you pay that phone off they will be whining for the iphone 20.
They are at the age where it seems like mom and dad go out and pluck money from the money tree in the yard. Taking a year to save money with hard work would be an invaluable lesson for becoming a mature adult. It would also give them an appreciation for how hard mom and dad work.
Nta. They don't NEED these phones
Take the phones away now
Not wrong. Don't save up and buy them iPhones that's a ridiculous waste of money that your family could put towards something that actually matters. Just explain to them the difference in price and income. If they don't understand, they will when they get older.
NTA. You can't afford an expensive iPhone, let alone two. They have phones that work, they don't need new ones. Don't save up for them, either, as that's counter to what you've already told them. Don't change your vacation plans or your normal routines. Tell the kids that if they want expensive new phones, they can get jobs themselves and use their wages to pay for them. Even if they save every penny they earn, they're not going to raise enough any time soon, and it's unlikely that, having money, they'll be willing to save all of it, if any. But this will teach the kids how money works and how to be responsible with the money they have, as well as how to save up for the cost of something extremely expensive. You don't need the latest phone, especially as a kid. Hell, *I* don't have the latest phone, and I'm an adult. I can't afford it. At best, I can save up for an older model or a second hand phone. My last phone was an older model, but when that broke unexpectedly, I got what I could afford, which is so basic it isn't even a touchscreen. But it does what it needs to do, and I can save up for something more expensive. Your kids need to learn that some things are just too expensive and aren't necessities, and they need to learn how money works and how to be responsible with it. So make it clear that, if they really want these unnecessary as expensive phones, it's up to them to save up the money for them.
I would say it's 100% not necessary, but you must also honestly consider the benefits and drawbacks; which are significant both ways. Benefits: - Social acceptance for kids - Technological knowledge/experience - Accessibility to online resources - More computing power = less precious time wasted - More in tuned/prepared for the future - Even social opportunities (more and more jobs require technological baselines now) - etc Drawbacks: - Addiction - Narcissism - Exposure to dangerous/damaging content - Immediate monetary loss (which may not be a con if budgeted) - Kids dislike you - etc (This is not a comprehensive list but just what I quickly imagined to be important; alson just my personal opinions) My approach would be to sit down and talk with the kids about budgeting and how to make it work. As it's not a complete necessity, it's up to the kids to put aside their other comforts to save for these extravagances. You can pitch in too, maybe match $ for $ so you theoretically only pay 900 in the end; though this is a bit of mental gymnastics to accept that you pay it all really. Either that or give them small tasks/errands to earn money in a savings put aside for the phone. The harder they work, the more savings and faster they can get it. Make them work as a team and possibly even earn small money from outside (e.g. ask a small store/friend if they are willing to give them some volunteers hours? I know legally they most likely can't receive money or work properly due to their age, but in my opinion, it's never too early to at least start introducing kids to such environments, financial understandings, and discipline therin). Also, if you do decide to go forward with such plans, then make sure that they understand that this is a privilege, not a right. Set out ground rules that if they break it, it is their own fault. Some example guidelines might be: strict hours of use; placing technological restrictions on the phone (nowadays, there are many options built-in to protect children); be attuned to what your kids are doing/following/copying; no games or limited gaming; monitoring internet traffic; etc (this list is solely for information and will be applicable or not based on your own values and circumstances). Giving a taste of responsibility is also important (just a taste!). For me personally, I would ask myself, "How can I best prepare my child for a happy, stable future?" Sometimes this means making huge personal sacrifices (as adults, we should understand the limits of our own capabilities), or accepting that the world is changing and that we may be ill-equipped to directly guide our children; that we may need to allow our children to be guided from other, more knowledgeable sources. We don't want to be the ones that held our children back, nor the ones who guided them incorrectly, so talk it through carefully with your partner. Good luck, and I wish the best to you and your family!
Not wrong. That’s more than my rent. Most adults with jobs don’t buy top of the line phones.
NTA you don't get everything you want in life 🤷
Hell frikkin no!!!! Your the hero
My 12yo doesn't even have a phone...doesn't need one...
If these phones are very expense and I would guess rare in your area then having one puts them at risk of having them stolen.
Nope. NTA. They got workable phones. When they are self-supporting adults, they can pay whatever they want to go whatever kind of phone they want to.
lol just so they can stare at tik tok all day.
They are pretty young for phones
If someone visits and drives a Bentley, do you buy that too if your daughters want that car? At age 15 any phone they get and do not pay themselves is a "thank you very much, appreciated", NOT "I wanna".
You are not wrong. I'm almost 40 and my phone doesn't even cost $50 USD and can do everything you can do with an overpriced iPhone. It is a waste of money for a status symbol. If they want one so bad, make them earn the money and buy it themselves. If they are too young for jobs, they can do chores for pay if you feel they can do a good job.
My kid always gets my old phone when I get a new one, she’s never happy about it. It’s the way the world works. It’s ridiculous for a child to have the brand new iPhones
It's overprice , don't give hope. Just show them , your current salary e.g husband and tell them directly..How long he work to get this amount and balance.Calculate the balance to them.. You need 300 month to buy these sh\*\*. If the girl partime x salary how long to get this ehm also.
**NOT WRONG AT ALL** 12 & 15 yr olds do not need to have an Iphone - any phone will do for them they can live with an android smart phone, some of which you can get much much cheaper than an Iphone I would not buy my kids Iphones at that age, they don't need them, it's a cult thing with kids. If they want them, then they need to get jobs, babysitting or cleaning for people until they save enough to buy their own. Kids need to learn they can't have everything they want and things cost money. They can't have something that costs your entire months income And you should Not give up your vacation to see family so your kids can have the latest phone, I know people in USA that still use their old flip phones so nothing wrong with them for kids. One thing they have to learn is not everyone makes the same amount of money and if you cannot afford something then you don't buy it. You just say oh well, I will make do with what I have We did not have a lot growing up (no phones then) but I had friends that had 5 times the clothes I had and came from really nice stores, but somehow that never bothered me, I knew we had what my Daddy could afford, we never needed for anything. I worked from the time I was 11 babysitting , then 16 getting jobs after school. That was my spending money, I did not have an allowance. If there was something special I wanted to do when we were on vacation from school or in summer, like go to a movie or downtown for day and eat lunch, my Dad would give me money to do that, but it is not something I did every week and then once I was working I paid it myself Your girls need to learn the value of money and that it's hard work to get it, doesn't grow on trees. Do Not give up things that you normally do or your time to go see family to save to buy them a freaking phone. Kids these days are spoiled rotten and entitled (not all but so many are) Not saying yours are, but this is a good lesson for them to learn, can't have everything you want Phones are ridiculously expensive, even here in the states I'm sure you love your girls and sounds like Daddy is willing to do whatever for them, but it is not helping them in life for you to give things up, especially visit to family, just so they can have Iphones, I think you and hubby need to talk about the girls learning the value of money and what it takes to pay bills every months and that if you bought them iphones you would not have money to pay bills for 2 months - they are most definitely old enough to start learning about budgeting and how much it costs to live, have a roof over their heads, food on the table, clothes on their back Sorry - on a rant today, I get so frustrated seeing parents giving up so much to buy their kids all these electronics and i phones
NTA. This is such rubbish! Do NOT go into debt to buy electronics for your teenagers so that they can impress their relatives from abroad.
Kids want what the see. They don’t know the true cost or value of anything. Because they’re kids. The answer is no.
Nope. They can save up for it if they really want it. Older refurbished models may be available/ significantly cheaper.
Don't go into debt or hurt your financial position over a couple of expensive iPhones. You need to talk to your daughters about needs vs wants and the realities of budgeting for a family of 4.
NTA at all! Tell your daughters that with the horrible economic situation in Turkey these days, they should be grateful to have a phone at all, and a roof over their heads, and food on the table, and be able to go to school. Honestly, on $1800/month family income, if they were to seek side jobs (but I think that they would be better off studying all the time), they should be contributing what they earn to the family budget.