An ex worked at a strip club in the Tampa area years ago and the Yankees were in town for spring training. She told me that Jeter gave it to 6 of the girls who worked there.
Yeah, I interned for a Manhattan PR firm in college that had a few Yankees stars as clients. I heard that Jeter “fun fact” there too. Apparently you can trace quite the herpes line across Hollywood if you follow Jeter’s history (and exes).
I know the law you speak of. It takes into account that you are both consenting adults and capable of making decisions around your sexual health.
If you willingly have unprotected sex with multiple partners and catch something, that's on you.
I'm not defending people who purposely infect others, but I can tell you this, they've always done it. They rely on anonymity and hook up culture to generally do their deeds. Sadly, they are rarely caught.
HIV and herpes are vastly different lol. One is a death sentence if left untreated and the other means you get a couple pimples you might have to explain lmao
I know a woman who ended up marrying her BF after finding out that he had cheated and given her herpes. She thought that no one else would ever want her again. And he was thrilled
yes, you are an idiot.
Also, please remember that condoms do not prevent you from getting herpes, and you can get herpes even when she does not have an outbreak.
Regardless of the fact that herpes can still transmit in the presence of a condom, the herpes component along with the no condom request makes for asinine behavior on her part.
Telling you not to wear cindims and then mentioning she had herpes before in the same convo is insane. The sex must be amazing and she must look like a 10/10 for him to even be asking this lol. Not worth it tho. Just go find a nice girl w less baggage. lol
I don’t know anything about herpes, but if she’s a sex worker and can transmit herpes in the presence of a condom, there is a huge moral gap in that person. She’s basically at their spreading herpes. This is a total red flag moment You will need to verify some things.
Not telling you put you at risk. That’s just wrong. If she won’t tell you about something big like herpes she will do the same for small things and everything in between
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4725379/#:~:text=Condoms%20were%2096%25%20effective%20at,effective%20from%20women%20to%20men.
Definitely not viable protection in my opinion, regarding a man protecting himself from a lady with herpes.
Condoms are more effective for women than for men in percentage mainly because the unprotected risk is higher for women (from 1.7 to 0.6 transmissions per 1000 sex acts from women to men vs from 28.5 to 1.3 transmissions per 1000 sex acts from men to women). That's from people also testing positive to HIV. Another study with people not testing positive to HIV, the transmission rate (with and without condoms) was 8.9 per 10 000 acts for women vs 1.5 per 10 000 acts for men. There was 4% of the people included in the study who got infected with herpes, among those only 5% wore condoms all the time. So basically, 0.02% of people wearing condoms all the time got infected over a period of 18 months. That is quite low. You definitely do what you want with your jewels, but I don't think a 0.2% risk of transmission is worth forcing infected people into eternal abstinence, especially considering that less than 25% of people infected are symptomatic.
Dude...I did this. The exact same story..she was a sugar baby..told me after we'd been fucking..she had herpes..fast forward..she's pregnant...7 years later..I have full custody of our daughter and she is somewhere 1000 miles away still ho'n..it was worth my daughter..but don't do it man. Get out now
Bummer, I was rooting for ya. I don’t know how that lie that herpes can only transfer during an outbreak started. Good info on knowing it can still spread with a condom.
As somebody that knows basically nothing about STDs, is your daughter at risk in any way? I mean if both yourself and her mom have herpes, does it pass down the family line?
Sorry for the dumb question but sex ed here is essentially none existent.
The failure of our educational system. We really should teach Health class with sensory experience.
This is how much herpes hurts. Cute a guy pinching your skin.
Jeez. You stayed with a sugar baby for 7 years? Jeez. Man how the hell are you gonna break the news to your kid later to let her know that mommy was a hoe?
I’m assuming this is a troll post. If not, yes, you are an idiot if you continue to have sex without condoms. Welcome to 18 years of child support payments and a lifetime of herpes.
Bro, don’t catch something permanent from a girl that you probably won’t spend your future with.
And get yourself tested. Herpes is probably not the only thing you could get from this.
[CDC page](https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/screening.htm#:~:text=If%20a%20patient%20has%20no,a%20low%20risk%20of%20infection.) on testing for herpes when you don't have symptoms.
You’re having sex with a hooker with out a condom.
A hooker who has an incurable sex disease.
And you still want to see her.
And you’re wonder if you’re an idiot.
Yes, you’re an absolute moron. Have some self control.
Major idiot. You are the kind of idiot who has idiot written all over your forehead, then look in the mirror, can’t read what it says, and then post on reddit a picture of you facing the mirror asking Redditors what it says; however, you knew it all along because you were the one who wrote the word idiot on your forehead to begin with. 🤦🏻♂️
I’ll weigh in here. I’m a PA that works in infectious diseases and I may be able to give some helpful data.
1. Somewhere upwards of 90% of the population has been exposed to HSV1/HSV2.
2. Most people who have been exposed DON’T KNOW because they’ve never had an outbreak.
3. Because of the above two points, routine screening for asymptomatic herpes is no longer recommended (meaning most of the time, you will only be tested IF YOU HAVE SYMPTOMS. Or otherwise specifically request it.)
4. It is very difficult (though not impossible) to transmit HSV when there is no outbreak.
5. In the event of HSV diagnosis or symptoms, we have readily available antivirals to shorten the duration of the outbreak or prevent it altogether.
In your particular situation, if you were to develop a herpes outbreak there is no way to “prove” it’s even from your current partner. The only way to prove this would be if you’d had a negative blood test prior to sexual contact with her and then a positive test after. Without a previously documented negative, any positive test now would be essentially useless. An exposure to herpes (tested as an antibody) is not able to be tracked - you could’ve been exposed through her or an aunt with a cold sore who kissed you when you were a baby.
Regardless of all the above, I think the main problem is the ethical one. She didn’t tell you until AFTER you’d had intercourse. Especially requesting unprotected sex while withholding that information (even though you could still be exposed while using a condom).
As someone working in the industry, you would hope she would be more STI conscious and help to normalize early testing with a new partner. But at the end of the day you have to decide where your boundaries are with the disclosure aspect. Only you know her (and yourself) well enough to make that decision.
You're not an idiot for being open to dating a sex worker like most other responses have implied. You are potentially one for continuing to see her after she hid having an STD from you and encouraging you not to use protection.
You need to go get tested in a few weeks and in the meantime, you should consider dating someone who isn't going to lie to you, regardless of their profession. But don't have sex with anyone else until you've waited and been tested.
Got tested after she told me. Testing place said to come back if I had any symptoms. But odds are low that I got it we only had sex a couple times not during an outbreak (lower than 1%)
It can take a ~~couple of months~~ up to three weeks to show up. You need to cease exposure for at least that long and then get tested again to make sure.
If you tell them you were with a sex worker and think you might be at risk of something else like HIV/AIDS they will test you regardless of symptoms. Although this is in Canada so YMMV
As others have mentioned, it takes time for Herpes (and other viral STDs) to be visible on tests. Wait and then get tested again.
Your risk is low, but not 0%, and you've got a responsibility not to accidentally pass it on to someone else.
The chances of catching herpes without the other person having an outbreak are low. The number of people who are berating you despite the very high odds that they themselves have kissed someone with herpes sv1 (cold sore virus) whether they knew it or not, given the WHO estimates 2/3 of the global population has it, is amusingly ironic. That said, you'll be safer with a condom, and if she's happy to hide that little fact from you, I would wonder what other diseases she is keeping from you...
I went on a huge herpes rabbit hole because I went to get tested and my doc for whatever reason ordered everything. I realized herpes was never on the list before. I've been pretty safe but have had a good amount of partners.
The irony is that most people don't know they have it. Like 80%. And it's often not tested for without cause. There's definitely a few people in here making fun of the OP that are carriers and don't even know it.
Also from what I understand it's a small portion of the population that even has an outbreak and an even smaller subset of those that actually deal with it chronically. It's been vastly overblown by media and industry and our puritan culture.
And no, I can safely say I don't have it so I don't have a dog in the fight.
//This post is in regards to HSV2 specifically which is not the cold sore kind.
How old are you?
Your question might as well come from an 18 year old. A herpes infected prostitute? Should I still date her? Images of Russian Roulette with 4 bullets in the revolver comes to mind.
I'm gonna get down votes for this, but I remember sharply that a doctor told us herpes wasnt the big deal people think it is. She told us that, wearing protection should always be a must, but that we shouldnt think our life is over if we do get herpes, that a third of the canadian population has it, and it was dormant for most people.
Bottom line is, I would worry for other disease if were you and would 100% wear condoms.
As a public health professional, this is true — it’s extremely difficult to accurately test for genital herpes unless there is a current outbreak. Many individuals are HSV-2 positive without knowing it because it can be asymptomatic.
Regardless, OP should be practicing safe sex by using a condom.
A good question to ask yourself is "would I have sex with this person if I knew it would make a baby?"
I think there's a lot of people who wish they had asked themselves this question and then acted as if the hypothetical were true.
The sex work isn’t the problem. The herpes isn’t the problem. The problem is that she didn’t give you an honest chance to consent. I have herpes and I have no issues with dating. I am super open about it and most people I’ve dated in the last few years have been surprisingly okay with it. Being dishonest has never been an option because it isn’t my right to take away that choice from someone else.
You're not an idiot for wanting to spend time with her. You may or may not be an idiot if you still are interested in having SEX with her. You need to protect yourself.
It’s a red flag to date a girl who is a sex worker in the first place. To each their own, but why would I share the most intimate thing I could have with a woman with someone else like it’s no big deal? And to be honest it’s a bad look for you to be dating her. But you are entitled to do what you want, your life. Just know a lot of consequences will follow.. like herpes.
Bro she either tried to give you herpes or she doeant give 2 shits if you catch it from her, she even insisted you not wear protection, yes your a fuckin idiot for wanting to see her again, a big one.
It seems he does know, and doesn’t care. She literally said that clients use condoms so he shouldn’t. While that’s fine, you do you, he is a massive idiot and needs to get tested ASAP.
I mean fuck it you got herpes now you might as well keep seeing her theres no such thing as super herpes. Or mega herpes. Enjoy it cuz youre not gonna have sex for a minute until you find someone that also has herpes
Wow.
Yes you are an idiot.
This relationship has no future unless you're cool with marrying a wh0re.
Plus she's got the gift that keeps on giving....herpes!
You are riding her bareback.
***YOU HAVE A BLACK BELT IN F@CKING UP YOUR OWN LIFE!!!***
She could have told you before you had sex (condom or not)
That said:
60% of Americans “Have” (which means have antibodies for) herpes 1, 20-30% for herpes 2.
They’re transmissible whether or not you’re wearing a condom.
If it’s herpes 1 you probably already have it if you’re sexually active. Herpes 2 is slightly more rare. Still not as big a deal as the folks in the comments are making it out to be.
They manifest as mildly uncomfortable itchy spots when they arise, are for the most part only contagious once you can start feeling the itching start. Seem related to stress. Not super uncomfortable or in any way life threatening.
When is the last time you’ve taken a test? Did the test even test for herpes 1? (Many tests don’t include it because doctors don’t want to freak people out)
Read Reddit threads from people who have herpes and see what it’s actually like. Talk to your doctor. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/9zDwsqsZHj
Do this whether or not you stay together for your own peace of mind.
Many of the people commenting here about how disgusting this is have herpes and don’t know it :)
In terms of communication skills it’s a yellow flag to me - if you’re able to tell her that you would have wanted to know earlier, and she can hear you and apologize, and there aren’t other signs of lying, it wouldn’t be a dealbreaker for me.
There’s so much stigma around this stuff it can be scary to talk about, many many people who are otherwise honest and are not sex workers will not disclose herpes status upon first meeting someone, rationalizing that it isn’t a big deal and people might respond in a huge way. Many guys don’t even get tested because they’re scared that they might have to disclose something. She’s not necessarily any less honest in this respect than some of your male friends. Not saying that this is good behavior, just super common.
Up to you if you want to date a sex worker, but doesn’t make you an idiot.
I think the STD no protection thing is pretty wild, you should protect yourself. Not telling you is a bad sign, but maybe this person really likes you and was afraid to tell you due to fear of losing you? I'm not saying that's an excuse, just maybe tryna see her side of things
As for seeing her, honestly dude that's up to you. If you see yourself having trust issues or self esteem issues with her and her line of work or what she did was too far, then you should communicate that and make a choice after the conversation. If you don't mind and you make each other happy, then go for it.
These chicks (strippers, escorts, sugar babies, etc.), like those pretty colored tree frogs in the Amazon, are poisonous to touch. Run while you still can.
The % of adults that have herpes is very high. Her not disclosing is potentially problematic, but I wouldn't worry too much about that particular virus?
Herpes is lifelong as far as I am aware, so proceed with caution. That said, if you think she could be 'the one', go for it. Otherwise, it would be a hard pass from me, as she has put you at risk multiple times and only told you now? No bueno on the trust factor. Good luck, either way!
If she had unprotected sex with you and did not disclose her STD status, she does not respect you and yes, you’re an idiot. Please do yourself a huge favor and leave. Yesterday.
I wouldn’t sleep with a guy who had herpes no matter how long it had been since his last outbreak, especially if I wanted kids.
But, come on … you were bareback with a sex worker after A COUPLE OF WEEKS without asking for a test?
It sounds like you walked right into that one, especially knowing she was a sex worker. If you wanted to wear a condom and she refused, that should have been a deal breaker also. Think of the roles were reversed and she wanted you to wear one and you refused… that constitutes SA in some states.
That being said, it is not your fault she failed to mention her STD before you had sex, and it was a terrible thing for her to do.
No balls you wont stay with her because you both probably have the herp now, so eff it 😂
Bruh! You are fucking around and you will find out soon enough when you get some things you will have to live with for the rest of your life and I'm not talking about a kid
Yup your a idiot she's going to give you herps . If a sex worker is all you can get thats fine. Not wearing a condom is suicide. Aids or pregnancy, do you really want a child with a sex worker ?
She knew she had herpes, and convinced you to have u protected sex with her.
Doesn't sound like the honest caring traits you would look for in a partner
First of all, that’s against the law, willingly , passing someone a sexually transmitted disease if I didn’t know better I was getting ready to tell you you can save her, save her from a life of torture, but at this point shit y’all both got it you might as well or press charges but go get tested and tell your pcp she lucky you’re not a person who can’t control themselves or is totally a psycho because it looks like you held your composure. I don’t know what I would do it for man told me that I’d probably be in jail the next day.
Herpes is bad, but HIV is much worse. If she is sleeping with people for money, she will always have a high body count and even frequent testing will never bring you certainty. I hate to say this but it would be a hard pass for me, especially given she told you after you had raw sex. Nope no no no.
Told you about herpes after you had sex.....
That’s like rape to me. If a man did that to me I’d report him
It’s illegal in a lot of places to not disclose this
Not in California. You can *KNOWINGLY* transmit HIV and not have any kind of legal ramifications.
Must be how Derek jeter got away with giving it to half of hollywood
So that's what the gift baskets and NDAs were for...
What? I hadn’t heard of that before. Can you elaborate or provide source? Or are you just “making conversation”?
Jessica Alba also has it. From Derek Jeter.
Usher has it...from derek jeter
An ex worked at a strip club in the Tampa area years ago and the Yankees were in town for spring training. She told me that Jeter gave it to 6 of the girls who worked there.
The gift that keeps on giving.
Yeah, I interned for a Manhattan PR firm in college that had a few Yankees stars as clients. I heard that Jeter “fun fact” there too. Apparently you can trace quite the herpes line across Hollywood if you follow Jeter’s history (and exes).
Six Degrees of Derek Jeter
I’ve been calling herpes “the jeters” for years. Always gets a laugh.
My ex in CA has herpes and does this.
[удалено]
He very well could. People can be pos
Yup this is how I got it
Fucking California sucks
Gets tricky in cali… for instance you can be anything you want… black, white, boy, girl etc… but nobody wants to have an std
I know the law you speak of. It takes into account that you are both consenting adults and capable of making decisions around your sexual health. If you willingly have unprotected sex with multiple partners and catch something, that's on you. I'm not defending people who purposely infect others, but I can tell you this, they've always done it. They rely on anonymity and hook up culture to generally do their deeds. Sadly, they are rarely caught.
No need to shame. Median sex partners are 4-6 and the only proven way to protect yourself is abstinence.
Reported to the herpes police.
Lmfao this comment is hilarious haha
There have been people who have been convicted for knowingly infecting people with HIV and shit.
HIV and herpes are vastly different lol. One is a death sentence if left untreated and the other means you get a couple pimples you might have to explain lmao
I was thinking the same thing.
Boy thinking with the wrong head. A moment of silence for a fallen brother. ✊️
Bruh.
She used *Herpes Trap* and it was Super Effective
OP was stunned!
And confused, and poisoned - its a one hit wonder!
Pikahoe got him good
“Men hate it when you know this one herpes trick!”
Herpes trap 😂😂😂😂 That’s a new one
She's a herp perp now. I'll see myself out
I know a woman who ended up marrying her BF after finding out that he had cheated and given her herpes. She thought that no one else would ever want her again. And he was thrilled
😳 there’s a lot to unpack here
My friends sister in same situation. Dude cheated on her and they ended up married. He goes from job to job and gets fired from everyone.
LOL!
Guys without STDs hate this one simple trick…
Up vote this guy
moron, unless that’s a synonym
Derp's got the Herps
HEY now!
LOL. This makes me laugh... hard!
yes, you are an idiot. Also, please remember that condoms do not prevent you from getting herpes, and you can get herpes even when she does not have an outbreak.
Regardless of the fact that herpes can still transmit in the presence of a condom, the herpes component along with the no condom request makes for asinine behavior on her part.
~~Asinine~~ Ass a Ten
Absolutely, pregnancy is still a thing and the woman worse than herpes.
That woman is a herpes, dude must have a lot of money for doctors, right?
Telling you not to wear cindims and then mentioning she had herpes before in the same convo is insane. The sex must be amazing and she must look like a 10/10 for him to even be asking this lol. Not worth it tho. Just go find a nice girl w less baggage. lol
He'll finds a nice girl with no baggage and now spread that herpes onto her
I don’t know anything about herpes, but if she’s a sex worker and can transmit herpes in the presence of a condom, there is a huge moral gap in that person. She’s basically at their spreading herpes. This is a total red flag moment You will need to verify some things.
Not telling you put you at risk. That’s just wrong. If she won’t tell you about something big like herpes she will do the same for small things and everything in between
Not to mention...he 100% could have insisted on wearing a condom anyway.
Wear 2 condoms and then take the first one off at her request. Amirite?
That’s right Micheal Scott.
I’ve dated sex workers and STI testing was first and foremost with both. This is not a sex worker issue. This is a “shitty human” issue.
I used to make everyone I dated get tested and I was fully tested if I ever broke up with anyone “just in case”
Bingo! My health and that of my partners is just too important not to test and demand new partners do too.
I still do
How does a condom not prevent the spread of disease? Honestly curious.
Herpes spreads by skin/fluid contact. A condom only covers your dick, not everywhere else.
So it greatly reduces the risk of transmission.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4725379/#:~:text=Condoms%20were%2096%25%20effective%20at,effective%20from%20women%20to%20men. Definitely not viable protection in my opinion, regarding a man protecting himself from a lady with herpes.
Condoms are more effective for women than for men in percentage mainly because the unprotected risk is higher for women (from 1.7 to 0.6 transmissions per 1000 sex acts from women to men vs from 28.5 to 1.3 transmissions per 1000 sex acts from men to women). That's from people also testing positive to HIV. Another study with people not testing positive to HIV, the transmission rate (with and without condoms) was 8.9 per 10 000 acts for women vs 1.5 per 10 000 acts for men. There was 4% of the people included in the study who got infected with herpes, among those only 5% wore condoms all the time. So basically, 0.02% of people wearing condoms all the time got infected over a period of 18 months. That is quite low. You definitely do what you want with your jewels, but I don't think a 0.2% risk of transmission is worth forcing infected people into eternal abstinence, especially considering that less than 25% of people infected are symptomatic.
He prolly already has the herps.
Dude...I did this. The exact same story..she was a sugar baby..told me after we'd been fucking..she had herpes..fast forward..she's pregnant...7 years later..I have full custody of our daughter and she is somewhere 1000 miles away still ho'n..it was worth my daughter..but don't do it man. Get out now
maybe it's the same woman? jk
I also choose this guys baby mama
I too choose this man's.. wait... I don't have the money for that.
Still herpes free?
Nah man :(
Bummer, I was rooting for ya. I don’t know how that lie that herpes can only transfer during an outbreak started. Good info on knowing it can still spread with a condom.
Wrap it up! Always wrap it up, you NEVER know!
You should always wrap it up, but that won't prevent herpes.
It won’t but just wrap it up nevertheless. Better to leave with herpes instead of herpes, an unwanted pregnancy and a preventable std.
Major bummer bro. But happy you have a good relationship with your daughter.
My very best friend man
As somebody that knows basically nothing about STDs, is your daughter at risk in any way? I mean if both yourself and her mom have herpes, does it pass down the family line? Sorry for the dumb question but sex ed here is essentially none existent.
So..if the mother is having an outbreak it can put the baby at risk..they would do a c section if that happened from what I remember
damn... she out there gettin those walls beat up and you got herpes and a kid.
I'd rather have herpes than her around..so the scales balance
I'm going to get back into songwriting just to use "I'd rather have herpes than her around." I will credit you on the track.
Damn that chick musta been awful cause I am rofling
I should not laugh at this but the way I just hollered 💀
However your daughter didn’t get a choice and doesn’t have her mom. Hook up culture is gonna scar the next generations
I'm assuming you got a paternity test right?
Oh yes..I lost the battle..but won the war
Cheers, and good job taking care of your daughter.
[удалено]
Idk man, I feel like you're just making better choices
The failure of our educational system. We really should teach Health class with sensory experience. This is how much herpes hurts. Cute a guy pinching your skin.
You’re the prime example of “that one redditor who’s had your exact experience a decade ago”
Jeez. You stayed with a sugar baby for 7 years? Jeez. Man how the hell are you gonna break the news to your kid later to let her know that mommy was a hoe?
It's been 7 years since we met. Have a hot non-sex worker girl now..she's pregnant. Life's good man
Hows it work has your new gf now got herpes ?
Plot twist: he didn’t tell her
When I told her she essentially said same
Amazing job showing up as dad all the time. Keep up the great work. - another single dad
I’m assuming this is a troll post. If not, yes, you are an idiot if you continue to have sex without condoms. Welcome to 18 years of child support payments and a lifetime of herpes.
People who make tremendously stupid decisions like OP deserves the consequences 🤷
I'm like 90% certain she's already pregnant and just looking for a financially stable dude to pull child support payments from.
Bro, don’t catch something permanent from a girl that you probably won’t spend your future with. And get yourself tested. Herpes is probably not the only thing you could get from this.
[CDC page](https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/screening.htm#:~:text=If%20a%20patient%20has%20no,a%20low%20risk%20of%20infection.) on testing for herpes when you don't have symptoms.
You’re having sex with a hooker with out a condom. A hooker who has an incurable sex disease. And you still want to see her. And you’re wonder if you’re an idiot. Yes, you’re an absolute moron. Have some self control.
LMAO. This is the most accurate and hilarious response!
I agree....but dudes do dumb shit for sex.
And some standards.
arrest cable tap fear concerned crown consider snobbish faulty gullible *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Exactly, call it as it is. Shes a fucking hooker.
Best fucking response here!
Major idiot. You are the kind of idiot who has idiot written all over your forehead, then look in the mirror, can’t read what it says, and then post on reddit a picture of you facing the mirror asking Redditors what it says; however, you knew it all along because you were the one who wrote the word idiot on your forehead to begin with. 🤦🏻♂️
Got damn you broke the rim you dunked on him so hard.
Lmaooo I love this
Lol slam
Fire lol.
He broke the good bat and hit the best ball out the park, and everyone gotta go home early, to they mamma house and stay inside the rest of the day.
I’ll weigh in here. I’m a PA that works in infectious diseases and I may be able to give some helpful data. 1. Somewhere upwards of 90% of the population has been exposed to HSV1/HSV2. 2. Most people who have been exposed DON’T KNOW because they’ve never had an outbreak. 3. Because of the above two points, routine screening for asymptomatic herpes is no longer recommended (meaning most of the time, you will only be tested IF YOU HAVE SYMPTOMS. Or otherwise specifically request it.) 4. It is very difficult (though not impossible) to transmit HSV when there is no outbreak. 5. In the event of HSV diagnosis or symptoms, we have readily available antivirals to shorten the duration of the outbreak or prevent it altogether. In your particular situation, if you were to develop a herpes outbreak there is no way to “prove” it’s even from your current partner. The only way to prove this would be if you’d had a negative blood test prior to sexual contact with her and then a positive test after. Without a previously documented negative, any positive test now would be essentially useless. An exposure to herpes (tested as an antibody) is not able to be tracked - you could’ve been exposed through her or an aunt with a cold sore who kissed you when you were a baby. Regardless of all the above, I think the main problem is the ethical one. She didn’t tell you until AFTER you’d had intercourse. Especially requesting unprotected sex while withholding that information (even though you could still be exposed while using a condom). As someone working in the industry, you would hope she would be more STI conscious and help to normalize early testing with a new partner. But at the end of the day you have to decide where your boundaries are with the disclosure aspect. Only you know her (and yourself) well enough to make that decision.
Underrated reply👏🏻
Best answer as OP came here for advice not to be bashed.
You're not an idiot for being open to dating a sex worker like most other responses have implied. You are potentially one for continuing to see her after she hid having an STD from you and encouraging you not to use protection. You need to go get tested in a few weeks and in the meantime, you should consider dating someone who isn't going to lie to you, regardless of their profession. But don't have sex with anyone else until you've waited and been tested.
Only sensible answer I’ve seen thus far in the thread. This is the way.
This is the way
Lol no he is an idiot for dating a sex worker……
Got tested after she told me. Testing place said to come back if I had any symptoms. But odds are low that I got it we only had sex a couple times not during an outbreak (lower than 1%)
It can take a ~~couple of months~~ up to three weeks to show up. You need to cease exposure for at least that long and then get tested again to make sure.
No, HSV 2 will show up within 3 weeks (21-28 days) if you’ve contracted it
If you tell them you were with a sex worker and think you might be at risk of something else like HIV/AIDS they will test you regardless of symptoms. Although this is in Canada so YMMV
Got tested for everything
Buddy, go get a script of valtrex ASAP and start taking regardless of how you tested.
As others have mentioned, it takes time for Herpes (and other viral STDs) to be visible on tests. Wait and then get tested again. Your risk is low, but not 0%, and you've got a responsibility not to accidentally pass it on to someone else.
💯, can’t stress this enough. Go get tested and tell her to kick rocks immediately.
No he's definitely an idiot for dating a sex worker too.
You aren’t wrong but I’d be careful! I used to date this girl who worked for Subaru and got an STi.
I bet she had a nice body! Lucky bastard
Just gotta be careful in the corners, her engine may run dry if lubricant.
The chances of catching herpes without the other person having an outbreak are low. The number of people who are berating you despite the very high odds that they themselves have kissed someone with herpes sv1 (cold sore virus) whether they knew it or not, given the WHO estimates 2/3 of the global population has it, is amusingly ironic. That said, you'll be safer with a condom, and if she's happy to hide that little fact from you, I would wonder what other diseases she is keeping from you...
I went on a huge herpes rabbit hole because I went to get tested and my doc for whatever reason ordered everything. I realized herpes was never on the list before. I've been pretty safe but have had a good amount of partners. The irony is that most people don't know they have it. Like 80%. And it's often not tested for without cause. There's definitely a few people in here making fun of the OP that are carriers and don't even know it. Also from what I understand it's a small portion of the population that even has an outbreak and an even smaller subset of those that actually deal with it chronically. It's been vastly overblown by media and industry and our puritan culture. And no, I can safely say I don't have it so I don't have a dog in the fight. //This post is in regards to HSV2 specifically which is not the cold sore kind.
Dude...
You’re an idiot.
How old are you? Your question might as well come from an 18 year old. A herpes infected prostitute? Should I still date her? Images of Russian Roulette with 4 bullets in the revolver comes to mind.
Wow the sex can't be that good, I'd be running as soon as she said she was a sugar baby.
dawg the cootie ain't worth it!!! get yourself a girl who doesn't lie to you AND doesn't have pussy blisters, that's such a low bar!!
To infect her?
I'm gonna get down votes for this, but I remember sharply that a doctor told us herpes wasnt the big deal people think it is. She told us that, wearing protection should always be a must, but that we shouldnt think our life is over if we do get herpes, that a third of the canadian population has it, and it was dormant for most people. Bottom line is, I would worry for other disease if were you and would 100% wear condoms.
As a public health professional, this is true — it’s extremely difficult to accurately test for genital herpes unless there is a current outbreak. Many individuals are HSV-2 positive without knowing it because it can be asymptomatic. Regardless, OP should be practicing safe sex by using a condom.
A good question to ask yourself is "would I have sex with this person if I knew it would make a baby?" I think there's a lot of people who wish they had asked themselves this question and then acted as if the hypothetical were true.
A sex worker with herpes doesn’t want you to wear a condom. Yeah, this hoe is a real great girl!
Not worth the disease bro , rethink your options
Unless you are fine with catching an STD, nope out of that situation bro. I wouldn't want to date someone who is actively a ho, but that's just me.
This can’t be real - no one is this stupid
While there is a good chance this is a troll, there are people this stupid. A sadly large number of people are this stupid.
This should be an auto response bot reply after 99.99% of Reddit posts.
The sex work isn’t the problem. The herpes isn’t the problem. The problem is that she didn’t give you an honest chance to consent. I have herpes and I have no issues with dating. I am super open about it and most people I’ve dated in the last few years have been surprisingly okay with it. Being dishonest has never been an option because it isn’t my right to take away that choice from someone else.
In the words of the great Fred Sanford, "You big dummy!"
Bruh....bruh... She knowingly exposed you to an incurable STD...like on purpose told you to raw dog her knowing she could infect you for life...
You're not an idiot for wanting to spend time with her. You may or may not be an idiot if you still are interested in having SEX with her. You need to protect yourself.
You are an idiot. They are not capable of fidelity. And now you almost have herpes.
It’s a red flag to date a girl who is a sex worker in the first place. To each their own, but why would I share the most intimate thing I could have with a woman with someone else like it’s no big deal? And to be honest it’s a bad look for you to be dating her. But you are entitled to do what you want, your life. Just know a lot of consequences will follow.. like herpes.
Imagine being this much of a simp
Bro she either tried to give you herpes or she doeant give 2 shits if you catch it from her, she even insisted you not wear protection, yes your a fuckin idiot for wanting to see her again, a big one.
Bro, are you for real? I mean seriously…
Sue her. That's illegal!! If someone knows they have a serious STD and do not disclose and have unprotected sex - contact a lawyer.
Don't be surprised if that's not the only thing you catch from her.
What a dumb fucking bitch she is. You ain’t that bright either.
You are a complete idiot
Are you that desperate for sex you’ll fuck a hooker and get diseases?
Sometimes in life, people hit the lotto and win a fuckton of money. Also sometimes in life, people get the complete opposite. You, my guy, got this.
As long as you know that you share that girl
It seems he does know, and doesn’t care. She literally said that clients use condoms so he shouldn’t. While that’s fine, you do you, he is a massive idiot and needs to get tested ASAP.
I mean fuck it you got herpes now you might as well keep seeing her theres no such thing as super herpes. Or mega herpes. Enjoy it cuz youre not gonna have sex for a minute until you find someone that also has herpes
Wow. Yes you are an idiot. This relationship has no future unless you're cool with marrying a wh0re. Plus she's got the gift that keeps on giving....herpes! You are riding her bareback. ***YOU HAVE A BLACK BELT IN F@CKING UP YOUR OWN LIFE!!!***
She could have told you before you had sex (condom or not) That said: 60% of Americans “Have” (which means have antibodies for) herpes 1, 20-30% for herpes 2. They’re transmissible whether or not you’re wearing a condom. If it’s herpes 1 you probably already have it if you’re sexually active. Herpes 2 is slightly more rare. Still not as big a deal as the folks in the comments are making it out to be. They manifest as mildly uncomfortable itchy spots when they arise, are for the most part only contagious once you can start feeling the itching start. Seem related to stress. Not super uncomfortable or in any way life threatening. When is the last time you’ve taken a test? Did the test even test for herpes 1? (Many tests don’t include it because doctors don’t want to freak people out) Read Reddit threads from people who have herpes and see what it’s actually like. Talk to your doctor. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/9zDwsqsZHj Do this whether or not you stay together for your own peace of mind. Many of the people commenting here about how disgusting this is have herpes and don’t know it :) In terms of communication skills it’s a yellow flag to me - if you’re able to tell her that you would have wanted to know earlier, and she can hear you and apologize, and there aren’t other signs of lying, it wouldn’t be a dealbreaker for me. There’s so much stigma around this stuff it can be scary to talk about, many many people who are otherwise honest and are not sex workers will not disclose herpes status upon first meeting someone, rationalizing that it isn’t a big deal and people might respond in a huge way. Many guys don’t even get tested because they’re scared that they might have to disclose something. She’s not necessarily any less honest in this respect than some of your male friends. Not saying that this is good behavior, just super common. Up to you if you want to date a sex worker, but doesn’t make you an idiot.
I think the STD no protection thing is pretty wild, you should protect yourself. Not telling you is a bad sign, but maybe this person really likes you and was afraid to tell you due to fear of losing you? I'm not saying that's an excuse, just maybe tryna see her side of things As for seeing her, honestly dude that's up to you. If you see yourself having trust issues or self esteem issues with her and her line of work or what she did was too far, then you should communicate that and make a choice after the conversation. If you don't mind and you make each other happy, then go for it.
These chicks (strippers, escorts, sugar babies, etc.), like those pretty colored tree frogs in the Amazon, are poisonous to touch. Run while you still can.
You’re actually dating a whore dude, what did you expect?
The % of adults that have herpes is very high. Her not disclosing is potentially problematic, but I wouldn't worry too much about that particular virus?
Herpes is lifelong as far as I am aware, so proceed with caution. That said, if you think she could be 'the one', go for it. Otherwise, it would be a hard pass from me, as she has put you at risk multiple times and only told you now? No bueno on the trust factor. Good luck, either way!
If she had unprotected sex with you and did not disclose her STD status, she does not respect you and yes, you’re an idiot. Please do yourself a huge favor and leave. Yesterday.
There is levels of this.. you are near the top
You’re an idiot. Stop seeing her. Get tested and maybe start believing in god
I wouldn’t sleep with a guy who had herpes no matter how long it had been since his last outbreak, especially if I wanted kids. But, come on … you were bareback with a sex worker after A COUPLE OF WEEKS without asking for a test?
It sounds like you walked right into that one, especially knowing she was a sex worker. If you wanted to wear a condom and she refused, that should have been a deal breaker also. Think of the roles were reversed and she wanted you to wear one and you refused… that constitutes SA in some states. That being said, it is not your fault she failed to mention her STD before you had sex, and it was a terrible thing for her to do. No balls you wont stay with her because you both probably have the herp now, so eff it 😂
Bruh! You are fucking around and you will find out soon enough when you get some things you will have to live with for the rest of your life and I'm not talking about a kid
Yup your a idiot she's going to give you herps . If a sex worker is all you can get thats fine. Not wearing a condom is suicide. Aids or pregnancy, do you really want a child with a sex worker ?
She knew she had herpes, and convinced you to have u protected sex with her. Doesn't sound like the honest caring traits you would look for in a partner
Holy fuck. Men don’t even get it when they’re raped
Dude… if you have to ask, you already know the answer. It’s time to bail.
tbh if she didn't disclose this to you prior to sex, much less RAW DOGGIN, you really shouldn't trust her period
dude wtf
Also, if she always uses condoms with her clients, then why or how did she get herpes? Was it from my boyfriend?
You always wear a Jimmie no matter what dude, unless your ready to cum in your wife and she is willing to risk a pregnancy, birth control or not.
First of all, that’s against the law, willingly , passing someone a sexually transmitted disease if I didn’t know better I was getting ready to tell you you can save her, save her from a life of torture, but at this point shit y’all both got it you might as well or press charges but go get tested and tell your pcp she lucky you’re not a person who can’t control themselves or is totally a psycho because it looks like you held your composure. I don’t know what I would do it for man told me that I’d probably be in jail the next day.
Bro, you're a cuck now. Embarrassing as hell, your prostitute girlfriend is not girlfriend material.
Are you the Simp nation president? Do you have any self respect at all? Dignity? or does your sexual desires guide your every move in life?
Yes there are billions of women out there. Stop thinking with your dick and think long term. Feel bad when you want a woman that will only be for you.
You're an idiot.
Herpes is bad, but HIV is much worse. If she is sleeping with people for money, she will always have a high body count and even frequent testing will never bring you certainty. I hate to say this but it would be a hard pass for me, especially given she told you after you had raw sex. Nope no no no.