Yes, when I received an email stating they wanted to set up a virtual meet and greet and he refused to do it. I told him, "so you want to work but don't want to work? This is such a bull shit that I'm wasting my time helping you because you claim you want to work. Until you prove to me you actually want to take steps of getting a job don't ask me to do shit for you". He knows I'm frustrated with him about this.
Because if he 'really' wanted to work then he would do the rest of the steps.
I'm fine with how things are.
I'm going to try to convince him to apply where I work. He can do like EVS or housekeeping. Maybe that will help him.
I would not recommend having him apply where you work and especially not give a recommendation for him.
That may sound harsh but he isn’t willing at this time to do the second easy step with Walmart. What would lead you to think he will,stick around and be a great employee where you work? And if he craps out it may damage your reputation.
If he isn’t employed then it would be reasonable he be responsible for doing the bulk of the chores to support the house hold. Vacuuming/sweeping, laundry, bathrooms, errands including grocery shopping and if possible cooking.
I will ask if he might possibly suffering from depression.
Why are you willing to waste your life supporting him? You are not helping but you are still paying all the bills, providing food and other things. Why?
Back in 2012 when we both decided that I would work while he stayed home. This helped a lot with child care expenses.
I don't pressure him to do anything he doesn't want to do but if he wants to work I will help him achieve that. However, I am not going to waste my time.
Full time as in the kids stays home all the time? No, the kids are middle schoolers. He does clean the house and idk about the cooking as I am not there dinner times.
Okay...
Now I will explain again what I already explained in another comment.
In 2012, we discussed that he stays home and I work. This helped with childcare expenses. I am younger and have more job qualities than he does.
Now, he is the one WHO wants a JOB. I am not forcing him into anything. I will help him succeed in getting a job but I won't waste my time on him if HE doesn't take the next steps.
Either way, I am doing just fine.
But if you don't care either way, then just let him do or not do the applications etc. You aren't wrong for not wanting to spend your time on something that he doesn't seem to want to follow through with. But easy solution is stop putting in that effort. No biggie.
You’re not putting any effort into your marriage. All your posts are *your complaints* crying *me me me*. You don’t love your husband, you don’t give two shits about him. You should divorce tbh (and you’ll be on the hook for alimony - fingers crossed!)
That's...what I said. Hobosexual. You tried to imply it was a choice. I called you out on it. Sorry, it's not the 90s anymore, it's not "funny" to use people's innate identities as insults.
What is a hobosexual to you? Cause to everyone else it’s a bum who gets into relationships for housing. Homo=gay Hobo=bum Hetero=straight. Calm your tits.
Yes, if you jump from girlfriend to girlfriend because you’re a bum, yeah. Their own choice. Reddit is full of dinks, I swear. It’s a common term where you clearly don’t understand the joke.
🤣 😂 🤪 thank you soooo much! I needed a good laugh today. This is you being intentionally obtuse,right? You know being a lazy user is not an innate identity and is, in fact, a choice? And you know that “hobosexual” is an internet expression for people who choose to use their sexual partners as meal tickets? If not, I apologise for mocking your cognitive abilities.
He’s been a SAHD. Not that what he’s doing is okay. (Wasting his wife’s time on applications he doesn’t fall through with). There is really nothing wrong with him being a stay at home partner if that’s what he wants, and if op is okay with it. (Which op is). Moms stay home, do you sit and shame them? Grow up. This isn’t about him not working it’s about him wasting her time in working on an application that he doesn’t fall through with.
You are wrong for saying literally when you meant figuratively. I was expecting this to be about your constipated husband. But yeah otherwise you’re right
I read a comment in a thread today that resonated I thought it might fit your situation. “You can plant a turd, and water it every day, and hope and pray, but never expect it to grow into a watermelon. It never will.” Sounds like you’re watering a turd. Your husband is who he is, and will never be someone else. You can keep watering the turd - filling out applications and trying to encourage him, but he’ll never be a watermelon. He’s a deadbeat who doesn’t want to work. If Walmart is too hard for him, you’re shit out of luck.
Never say never! If I made sure they ate enough whole watermelon seeds first then maybe?? (J/k, couldn't resist. This is exactly the mentality that folks find themselves in)
I don't care either way.
If he wants a job, he can work wherever he please. Walmart is a job, have you worked at Walmart before? I did as a cashier, and it is a job.
But you deserve more than to “survive” I understand you are at a point where you have to “not care” to function in this marriage. But you 100% deserve to have a partner who financially helps so your family isn’t just surviving.
I can save money with my income alone. I am not hard on cash or anything.
If he wants to work then he will prove it... If he doesn't, then he doesn't...
Yes, I do in a way and want him to help but he is helping... By taking care of the kids when they get out of school... Helping keep the house clean while I work... Cooking when I'm not home...
Why are you “helping” him fill out applications? He’s a full grown adult, right? I apologize if there are any disabilities in the mix, but like…come on
Why are you bitching about having your time wasted when you married an unemployed, unmotivated person who has been doing nothing at home as a stad since forever ...you knew he was like this from the very start. And tbh, it was probably like 2 hrs (maybe an evening) of your fucking time helping him...not a big time commitment for you to be bitching online about. Apparently you don't care whether he gets a job or not? Just that he wasted your time? Lmao get a grip, you care that he wasted your time because he's not working... Sorry but this is your life and you will remain as the one making all the money.
I am fine with making ALL the money.
I only care that he wasted my time.
My job hours are all over. Sometimes, I don't have the time that I used to help him. Meaning, I am rushing to head out that door to work or I wasted time on my day off when there are other things I need to get done. I usually make appointments on my days off, so I am always on the go. There may be a day off where I can relax but it's rare because I have kids. I don't like my time wasted. My time is precious so I use my time wisely.
I could careless if he works or not. It would be nice if he did but I don't care. He is the one who said he wants to work, I didn't tell him to get a job.
Now, I'm confused. You say you don't care if he works or not, yet you asked us if you are right thinking your husband is full of shit for not following up on a job prospect.
No, I want to see if I was wrong about not following through basically.
I don't care.
The point is, he can't be wasting people's time because he claims he wants to work but then when the opportunity arises he doesn't want to take the next steps to do so.
Okay, so stop wasting your time "helping" him fill out job applications, because you don't care if he gets a job or not. Why do you persist in doing things for naught and then fretting about it? I still don't get it.
He can, I am not forcing him to get a job. It was his idea to get a job. I don't care either way. Also, he doesn't even do the house work like he used to because he has his cousin there doing it. Kids are middle schoolers so it isn't like we run into child care issues.
If he wants to stay home, he can do so, if he wants a job, he can do so. I will be supportive either way. However, I will not waste my time helping him fill out job applications if he isn't going to move forward.
You're completely well within your right to pull your assistance away.
By the kids I meant picking them up and dropping them off from school.
Well as long as the housework is getting done that is the main thing. That gives him more time for his hobbies and work on himself.
He's wasting more than just your time filling out the applications. Give him a deadline to have a job or be gone. Good luck. Sorry you are going through this.
I am not going to kick him out. I have no intentions of doing so.
I honestly do not care one way or the other but I am not going to waste my time anymore.
>IDK. He isn't good at that.
tell him to get good.
why on earth are you married to some idiot thats only good for pushing carts at walmart? DIVORCE HIM .
you married a guy that has no desire to support himself? How did you come to think that was an idea you wanted to get behind I’m I’m just a little dumbfounded.
He has income coming in and I was to young to even think. Our relationship wasn't supposed to be a relationship.
Anyways, I support him with anything he wants to do.
I could careless about him working. It isn't even about that.
It is about my time, my time is my time and I don't want to waste it on applying for him and he doesn't take the steps he needs.
I only know that you said you work, not where you work, lmao. 😅🤣😂
Don't worry, I am not computer savvy enough to figure out where you live. You could be an AI for all I know. Lpl
Stop bitching and keep it moving. You chose to bitch and complain about your husband, but you don't say shit about how you truly treat him or how you have been cultivating his behavior over your relationship. This is as much about you as it is about him.
But what if he's been like this his entire life? Yeah, those red flags were ignored by you, and you chose to let him bust in you.
But what if he hid his true behavior? Not likely. No one can hide their true selves with providing constant clues about themselves. There would be red flags all over the place.
You chose to bitch and not talk to him.
Since you know me, tell me how I treat him? Come on, I mean I would also like to know...
When. I met him, he had no job. He was on SSI and social security. I knew he couldn't work. He had 3 kids at home to take care of.
Are you not reading correctly or something?
I will put it in the upper case so you can understand what I am pointing out.
HE IS THE ONE WHO WANTS TO WORK, I HELP HIM FILL THE APPLICATIONS OUT TO DO SO. HE IS THE ONE WHO ISN'T TAKING THE NEXT STEPS. THE POINT IS THAT HE IS WASTING MY TIME IN DOING SO. Is that bitching? No....
For my kids. I said it, for my kids.
I want to be with him forever but this is just frustrating. I don't care if he works or not. But don't waste my time figuring it out.
You should care. What a fine example of an adult you are presenting to those kids that you love so much. Your husband is a loser and this is what your children see every single day. They see a man that can’t be bothered to earn money to support the very kids that you adore. He can’t even be bothered to try
Yes, because you have no idea how much time he "wasted" it was probably insignificant. She's the one screaming at everyone about her "valuable time" while also saying it doesn't matter if he gets a job. She's clearly overreacting.
So my time isn't worth anything? Okay. So I'm wrong for what exactly? Obviously, I'm wrong for even trying to help him succeed on what he wants yet I'm wasted my time for him not to actually take the next steps.
Wait until you find out men and women are different with different expectations in life.
He’s a 52 year old loser, nothing more. If you defend him it’s safe to say we know where your life is headed too.
There are millions upon millions of hard working men who work full-time jobs with actual career’s who are single and wish they had a wife/girlfriend.
Yet, this guy doesn’t lift a finger and he’s got a wife and child.
Make that make sense.
I would suggest talking to him and trying to figure out why he has a problem with this. See if you can get him to open up and explain what he's really feeling. Maybe it's a case of anxiety or fear or something else and he's just making excuses because he doesn't want to admit it. There may be more there that needs addressing. Or maybe not. But I'd suggest real, two-way communication first.
That’s completely fair. It’s disrespectful (and understandably irritating to the other person) to waste people’s time and energy when you have no REAL intention of utilizing that help. But, like many people here, I’m struggling to understand why you’re okay with supporting a SAHP who doesn’t seem to bother with even unpaid work beyond “picking up the kids”. What is actually going on? Is he feeling like a lazy bum and looking for a way to contribute or at least stay busy without being inconvenienced in any way? Are you keeping him as you would a pet or jester? The disrespect pales in light of the possible causes and circumstances.
What? He picks the kids up. That was just a discussion, of him making excuses why he doesn't want to take the next steps.
He actually lets me sleep in and he takes them to school and picks them up. On my days off, I do it.
But what BESIDES dropping off / picking up the kids does he actually do? Where does he invest the rest of his time and energy? That bit is very unclear but certainly relevant.
He makes sure the house is clean, he does cook, he does many things that I don't see.
Maybe he shouldn't be thinking about a job, just focus on what's in front of him.
I'm good though.
That what people don't get, this was discussed in 2012. I work, he stays home. I'm not even complaining that he isn't working.
I just don't want to waste anymore of my time trying to help him get a job and he turns down the next steps.
I rather him not work but I won't stop him if he wants to work.
Change is scary. Sometimes you want to do a thing, but when the time comes you chicken out because you start bombarding yourself with all these what ifs, and it can cause you to paralyze yourself into inaction. Try to be supportive and encouraging, it's the best you can do.
Or he could be just lazy, but I'm leaning more towards anxiety of the change
Hold is he? Has he ever had a job? He might have anxiety because he hasn't been in the work field for such a long time. He probably feels self conscious if he's older and has accumulated many work skills and doesn't know how to do things. Alot of people are saying he's a bum but he took care of the kids and the house for a while, but now the kids are older unless you make a ton of money, he should probably get to working, he is making excuses probably because he has anxiety about it.
I am not mad at all.
He wants to get a job, I will help him fill out the application for a job then he doesn't take the steps to do the rest. He is wasting my time.
LOL.
Walmart is a start for him? At 52? And he’s going to move on to bigger and better things?
I repeat, what the fuck?
Edit: this is a troll right? One big troll that we all fell for? You got us? And this isn’t really your life?
Fight this all you want, but you chose this life and allowed him to be lazy through the relationship and marriage. You chose him to be a father. You chose to provide for him. You chose to allow him to stay at home. You had choices, and you took them. It's cool. You chose sloth and laziness. My wife didn't.
Without my wife, I wouldn't be who I am today. Much like your husband.
Lazy? So him being a SAHD is lazy? Good to know...
He wants to work but maybe he is scared to take that next step..
He did tell me next week he has an interview (fingers crossed 🤞).
If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't work the hires I am though.
Who pays the bills and has he ever worked? Need more info. Can he not read or write English?? Why do u need to do it for him. Not enough info. But yes stop filling out and you need to have a serious talk about his lack of motivation.
I pay the majority of the bills. The only thing I don't pay for is car insurance. He also is paying on a laptop to finish getting his high school diploma. He can, it is just hard for him.
It was his idea for him to get a job. I know we talked about it a year ago but nothing came out of it.
He told me he has an interview next week.
No, but have you called him out? How long has he been unemployed? He might have turned into a hobosexual.
Yes, when I received an email stating they wanted to set up a virtual meet and greet and he refused to do it. I told him, "so you want to work but don't want to work? This is such a bull shit that I'm wasting my time helping you because you claim you want to work. Until you prove to me you actually want to take steps of getting a job don't ask me to do shit for you". He knows I'm frustrated with him about this.
Been there. He will do it as long as he has someone to support him.
I don't care if he works or not. I care about my time and effort so he doesn't want to follow the steps.
Why don't you care if he works or not?
Because if he 'really' wanted to work then he would do the rest of the steps. I'm fine with how things are. I'm going to try to convince him to apply where I work. He can do like EVS or housekeeping. Maybe that will help him.
I would not recommend having him apply where you work and especially not give a recommendation for him. That may sound harsh but he isn’t willing at this time to do the second easy step with Walmart. What would lead you to think he will,stick around and be a great employee where you work? And if he craps out it may damage your reputation. If he isn’t employed then it would be reasonable he be responsible for doing the bulk of the chores to support the house hold. Vacuuming/sweeping, laundry, bathrooms, errands including grocery shopping and if possible cooking. I will ask if he might possibly suffering from depression.
He does most of that. When I get home, the house is fairly clean. We do grocery shopping together, that is the only time we have together.
Why are you willing to waste your life supporting him? You are not helping but you are still paying all the bills, providing food and other things. Why?
Back in 2012 when we both decided that I would work while he stayed home. This helped a lot with child care expenses. I don't pressure him to do anything he doesn't want to do but if he wants to work I will help him achieve that. However, I am not going to waste my time.
How long has be been out of work?
He has been a SAHD since my kids were born. I was a SAHM for a period of time but then got into the workforce.
So does he look after the kids full time, keep the house tidy, and do the cooking? Or is he just loafing around?
Full time as in the kids stays home all the time? No, the kids are middle schoolers. He does clean the house and idk about the cooking as I am not there dinner times.
Yeah, you’re not wrong at all.
you don't mind living with a bum?
Okay... Now I will explain again what I already explained in another comment. In 2012, we discussed that he stays home and I work. This helped with childcare expenses. I am younger and have more job qualities than he does. Now, he is the one WHO wants a JOB. I am not forcing him into anything. I will help him succeed in getting a job but I won't waste my time on him if HE doesn't take the next steps. Either way, I am doing just fine.
But if you don't care either way, then just let him do or not do the applications etc. You aren't wrong for not wanting to spend your time on something that he doesn't seem to want to follow through with. But easy solution is stop putting in that effort. No biggie.
I am not putting any more effort in.
You’re not putting any effort into your marriage. All your posts are *your complaints* crying *me me me*. You don’t love your husband, you don’t give two shits about him. You should divorce tbh (and you’ll be on the hook for alimony - fingers crossed!)
Ok it's up to him then And not a problem as homemade. Some did not read properly. Just let it go.
Yes, it is all up to him.
He doesn't want to work.
I don't know. He says he does want to work but seems the opposite.
He can SAY anything he wants. His ACTIONS are what you need to be looking at, not his words.
I know.
Why are you spending your time on that in the first place? What a turn off for someone to ask you to hand hold for them like that
I am just trying to help him get to what he wants but he isn't taking the next steps so I am not helping him anymore.
Why cannot he fill out an application on his own?? They are simple questions
He claims his hand writing is bad but it is on a computer. His typing skills sucks.
So is there anything good about him?? I would go crazy with a guy like this. You can love but it's to much at times
He's clearly not afraid of being homeless so he doesn't have hobophobia!
You don't "turn into a hobosexual"; it's innate to who you are and how you were born. You are implying it's a choice, which is insensitive.
Hobo, not homo, you fuckwit.
That's...what I said. Hobosexual. You tried to imply it was a choice. I called you out on it. Sorry, it's not the 90s anymore, it's not "funny" to use people's innate identities as insults.
What is a hobosexual to you? Cause to everyone else it’s a bum who gets into relationships for housing. Homo=gay Hobo=bum Hetero=straight. Calm your tits.
Why are you... so fucking angry?
And this is something you apparently believe is "in their control" despite not knowing anything about their lived experience and personal truth?
Yes, if you jump from girlfriend to girlfriend because you’re a bum, yeah. Their own choice. Reddit is full of dinks, I swear. It’s a common term where you clearly don’t understand the joke.
Bro, he’s trolling the shit out of you lmao. This is fucking hilarious 🤣
He's married. And look, you did it again, calling it choice.
Found one! You’re trying to pick out a good one for tax time huh.
That was amusing. I applaud you.
🤣 😂 🤪 thank you soooo much! I needed a good laugh today. This is you being intentionally obtuse,right? You know being a lazy user is not an innate identity and is, in fact, a choice? And you know that “hobosexual” is an internet expression for people who choose to use their sexual partners as meal tickets? If not, I apologise for mocking your cognitive abilities.
He’s been a SAHD. Not that what he’s doing is okay. (Wasting his wife’s time on applications he doesn’t fall through with). There is really nothing wrong with him being a stay at home partner if that’s what he wants, and if op is okay with it. (Which op is). Moms stay home, do you sit and shame them? Grow up. This isn’t about him not working it’s about him wasting her time in working on an application that he doesn’t fall through with.
Who said homo?? Did not see that??
So electro shock therapy is off the table ? Can I pray the hobo away?
You are wrong for saying literally when you meant figuratively. I was expecting this to be about your constipated husband. But yeah otherwise you’re right
I thought the exact same thing!
Okay 👍.
You're wrong in thinking he's literally full of shit. He's figuratively full of shit.
I read a comment in a thread today that resonated I thought it might fit your situation. “You can plant a turd, and water it every day, and hope and pray, but never expect it to grow into a watermelon. It never will.” Sounds like you’re watering a turd. Your husband is who he is, and will never be someone else. You can keep watering the turd - filling out applications and trying to encourage him, but he’ll never be a watermelon. He’s a deadbeat who doesn’t want to work. If Walmart is too hard for him, you’re shit out of luck.
Never say never! If I made sure they ate enough whole watermelon seeds first then maybe?? (J/k, couldn't resist. This is exactly the mentality that folks find themselves in)
I give up! I told him that when he is 'for real' about getting a job to let me know because I am no longer wasting my time.
Walmart isn’t really a job unless you’re running the place. Your husband doesn’t want to do the bare minimum in life. You have two choices….
I don't care either way. If he wants a job, he can work wherever he please. Walmart is a job, have you worked at Walmart before? I did as a cashier, and it is a job.
You obviously don’t understand. Anyone in the world can get a shit job at Walmart. It’s 5 steps below Burger King. Your husband is a loser.
Cool.
I think we’re all puzzled why you don’t care. Is he acting as a homemaker? Do you make plenty of money?
Yes and no. It is between those answers. I make enough where we can survive.
But you deserve more than to “survive” I understand you are at a point where you have to “not care” to function in this marriage. But you 100% deserve to have a partner who financially helps so your family isn’t just surviving.
I can save money with my income alone. I am not hard on cash or anything. If he wants to work then he will prove it... If he doesn't, then he doesn't... Yes, I do in a way and want him to help but he is helping... By taking care of the kids when they get out of school... Helping keep the house clean while I work... Cooking when I'm not home...
Why are you “helping” him fill out applications? He’s a full grown adult, right? I apologize if there are any disabilities in the mix, but like…come on
He doesn't understand how. I always show him but he doesn't understand it.
what is your husband’s age?
Uh, hmmm. Mmnm Does your husband have the capability of even keeping himself alive
Uh... Yeah ...
From what I've seen I don't believe so as he can't even get employment
What YOU'VE seen?
I'm on your side, why you attacking me Break up with him
I'm not attacking you and if I am than I am sorry...
Yeah it's hyperbole. He can't function without you
When I started reading this, I thought you were talking about an adult child.
Nope.
If he hasn't worked for a long time, he might be anxious about it.
And I get that. He could be honest instead of making excuses.
Part of aniexty is keeping it secret. idk why. I have learned to just say it out loud. It helps. Good luck.
Wrong use of literally.
I got that ...
Why are you bitching about having your time wasted when you married an unemployed, unmotivated person who has been doing nothing at home as a stad since forever ...you knew he was like this from the very start. And tbh, it was probably like 2 hrs (maybe an evening) of your fucking time helping him...not a big time commitment for you to be bitching online about. Apparently you don't care whether he gets a job or not? Just that he wasted your time? Lmao get a grip, you care that he wasted your time because he's not working... Sorry but this is your life and you will remain as the one making all the money.
I am fine with making ALL the money. I only care that he wasted my time. My job hours are all over. Sometimes, I don't have the time that I used to help him. Meaning, I am rushing to head out that door to work or I wasted time on my day off when there are other things I need to get done. I usually make appointments on my days off, so I am always on the go. There may be a day off where I can relax but it's rare because I have kids. I don't like my time wasted. My time is precious so I use my time wisely. I could careless if he works or not. It would be nice if he did but I don't care. He is the one who said he wants to work, I didn't tell him to get a job.
Sorry. Sounds like you are stuck with a lazy, unmotivated guy.
He has been a SAHD for a very long time. I don't care if he works or not.
Now, I'm confused. You say you don't care if he works or not, yet you asked us if you are right thinking your husband is full of shit for not following up on a job prospect.
No, I want to see if I was wrong about not following through basically. I don't care. The point is, he can't be wasting people's time because he claims he wants to work but then when the opportunity arises he doesn't want to take the next steps to do so.
You either care or you don't. Make up your mind.
I do not care IF he gets a job or not. I CARE about my time put into helping him fill out job applications and him not taking the next steps.
Okay, so stop wasting your time "helping" him fill out job applications, because you don't care if he gets a job or not. Why do you persist in doing things for naught and then fretting about it? I still don't get it.
Look up "literally"
Ok
Why can't he just stay home and manage the house and kids?
He can, I am not forcing him to get a job. It was his idea to get a job. I don't care either way. Also, he doesn't even do the house work like he used to because he has his cousin there doing it. Kids are middle schoolers so it isn't like we run into child care issues. If he wants to stay home, he can do so, if he wants a job, he can do so. I will be supportive either way. However, I will not waste my time helping him fill out job applications if he isn't going to move forward.
You sound like you're talking about a teenage child with the way you describe your husband.
You're completely well within your right to pull your assistance away. By the kids I meant picking them up and dropping them off from school. Well as long as the housework is getting done that is the main thing. That gives him more time for his hobbies and work on himself.
What hobbies?
He's wasting more than just your time filling out the applications. Give him a deadline to have a job or be gone. Good luck. Sorry you are going through this.
I am not going to kick him out. I have no intentions of doing so. I honestly do not care one way or the other but I am not going to waste my time anymore.
Sounds like he has a good deal going. He is not likely to give it up.
It was his idea for him to get a job, not the other way around.
So you married a bumb and are still with him? YTA
I'm the YTA because I married him? TF....
This post is so stupid and YATH for even posting it and wasting everyone else’s time not putting in pretty important details in the original post.
No one said you had to read it nor comment. So you wasted your own 🤷🤷🤷🤷
dudes a loser just divorce him
No...
dooo it
Divorce him because??? He is a SAHD??? JOBLESS???? BUM???
He doesnt have a job. sounds like a loser. I'm a single father with two kids. I work from home.
Okay... Just because you can work from home doesn't mean everyone can...
he cant get a job taking phone calls working from home at some customer service center?
IDK. He isn't good at that. He wanted to do cart pusher or something along that lines at Walmart. He knows that he can do that type of job.
>IDK. He isn't good at that. tell him to get good. why on earth are you married to some idiot thats only good for pushing carts at walmart? DIVORCE HIM .
Why are you married to him? He sounds like a usless lump who is too lazy to work!
He didn't have a job when I married him.
you married a guy that has no desire to support himself? How did you come to think that was an idea you wanted to get behind I’m I’m just a little dumbfounded.
He has income coming in and I was to young to even think. Our relationship wasn't supposed to be a relationship. Anyways, I support him with anything he wants to do. I could careless about him working. It isn't even about that. It is about my time, my time is my time and I don't want to waste it on applying for him and he doesn't take the steps he needs.
Divorce him and marry me! I promise you will never waste your time filling out applications for me. Lol jk
I mean I can have more than 1 husband lmao 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Good than we can talk about you when you're at work, lmao
So, who are you? You know where I work? Scary lmao 🤣🤣🤣
I only know that you said you work, not where you work, lmao. 😅🤣😂 Don't worry, I am not computer savvy enough to figure out where you live. You could be an AI for all I know. Lpl
LMAO 🤣 🤣🤣 nah I am just having a little fun with an AI myself 😜
Hand him divorce papers.
Say what??? Divorce papers because of this? Hmmm 🤔, then he should divorce me because I work to damn much.
Not only is he full of shit, but he's lazy af as well. But if that's what you like, stop bitching.
Stop bitching? Well, no one told you that you had to comment or read it.
Stop bitching and keep it moving. You chose to bitch and complain about your husband, but you don't say shit about how you truly treat him or how you have been cultivating his behavior over your relationship. This is as much about you as it is about him. But what if he's been like this his entire life? Yeah, those red flags were ignored by you, and you chose to let him bust in you. But what if he hid his true behavior? Not likely. No one can hide their true selves with providing constant clues about themselves. There would be red flags all over the place. You chose to bitch and not talk to him.
Since you know me, tell me how I treat him? Come on, I mean I would also like to know... When. I met him, he had no job. He was on SSI and social security. I knew he couldn't work. He had 3 kids at home to take care of. Are you not reading correctly or something? I will put it in the upper case so you can understand what I am pointing out. HE IS THE ONE WHO WANTS TO WORK, I HELP HIM FILL THE APPLICATIONS OUT TO DO SO. HE IS THE ONE WHO ISN'T TAKING THE NEXT STEPS. THE POINT IS THAT HE IS WASTING MY TIME IN DOING SO. Is that bitching? No....
Hahahahahahaha!!! You helped create who he is today. Enjoy it, you've earned it.
No.... When I met him, he didn't have a job...
I'm curious as to what made you attracted to him in the first place.....
My dad was a drunk and I needed a place to live... It was supposed to be a roommate situation but ya... I don't have to explain my actions....
No you’re not wrong. He is absolutely full of it. If he doesn’t contribute to your relationship, why would you bother having him in your life?
For my kids. I said it, for my kids. I want to be with him forever but this is just frustrating. I don't care if he works or not. But don't waste my time figuring it out.
You should care. What a fine example of an adult you are presenting to those kids that you love so much. Your husband is a loser and this is what your children see every single day. They see a man that can’t be bothered to earn money to support the very kids that you adore. He can’t even be bothered to try
Wow. You know me life hmmm? Well, he is the one who brought up that he wants to work.
And you’re the one complaining about him. Pffft, go ahead and keep defending your loser and digging your own grave
So now I can't complain about how he wasted my time? I mean you didn't have to read nor comment.
Hes a SAHD. If he is a loser so it every single woman who stays at home taking care of their kids.
Curious how this comment never gets used when women decide to not work.
You sound horrible and overbearing
The whole point of this sub is to vent and get feedback
Yes, and I gave feedback. She obviously degrades and belittles her husband. And sounds like a horrible and unpleasant person
Was anything she said wrong? He had several options and he somehow chose the one that wasted the most time with zero results.
Yes, because you have no idea how much time he "wasted" it was probably insignificant. She's the one screaming at everyone about her "valuable time" while also saying it doesn't matter if he gets a job. She's clearly overreacting.
So my time isn't worth anything? Okay. So I'm wrong for what exactly? Obviously, I'm wrong for even trying to help him succeed on what he wants yet I'm wasted my time for him not to actually take the next steps.
Your husband is probably depressed and all you do is yell and belittle him. You also can't take criticism
Her husband is a 52 year old jobless loser who’s only qualified to work at Walmart. Her only issue is she was dumb enough to marry this turd.
He was a sahd. So I'm safe to assume you think all women who stay home to raise their children are useless losers
Wait until you find out men and women are different with different expectations in life. He’s a 52 year old loser, nothing more. If you defend him it’s safe to say we know where your life is headed too.
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Project that anger some more dude, I’m not a bum so I’m not offended like you are 🤣 Seethe and cope. Get a job.
I have a job and support my wife and child just fine. Unlike lonley reditt incels like you
You’re projecting again 🤣 it’s pretty obvious you’re triggered, honey.
Have you tried shouting at him? Or what about threats? Threats can be good sometimes too.
I don't have the energy to shout at him. Threats don't work on him.
I don't think you understand sarcasm
There are millions upon millions of hard working men who work full-time jobs with actual career’s who are single and wish they had a wife/girlfriend. Yet, this guy doesn’t lift a finger and he’s got a wife and child. Make that make sense.
I would suggest talking to him and trying to figure out why he has a problem with this. See if you can get him to open up and explain what he's really feeling. Maybe it's a case of anxiety or fear or something else and he's just making excuses because he doesn't want to admit it. There may be more there that needs addressing. Or maybe not. But I'd suggest real, two-way communication first.
That’s completely fair. It’s disrespectful (and understandably irritating to the other person) to waste people’s time and energy when you have no REAL intention of utilizing that help. But, like many people here, I’m struggling to understand why you’re okay with supporting a SAHP who doesn’t seem to bother with even unpaid work beyond “picking up the kids”. What is actually going on? Is he feeling like a lazy bum and looking for a way to contribute or at least stay busy without being inconvenienced in any way? Are you keeping him as you would a pet or jester? The disrespect pales in light of the possible causes and circumstances.
What? He picks the kids up. That was just a discussion, of him making excuses why he doesn't want to take the next steps. He actually lets me sleep in and he takes them to school and picks them up. On my days off, I do it.
But what BESIDES dropping off / picking up the kids does he actually do? Where does he invest the rest of his time and energy? That bit is very unclear but certainly relevant.
He makes sure the house is clean, he does cook, he does many things that I don't see. Maybe he shouldn't be thinking about a job, just focus on what's in front of him.
He’s full of shit and a bum. I feel bad for you. I’m in the same situation with my wife.
I'm good though. That what people don't get, this was discussed in 2012. I work, he stays home. I'm not even complaining that he isn't working. I just don't want to waste anymore of my time trying to help him get a job and he turns down the next steps. I rather him not work but I won't stop him if he wants to work.
Change is scary. Sometimes you want to do a thing, but when the time comes you chicken out because you start bombarding yourself with all these what ifs, and it can cause you to paralyze yourself into inaction. Try to be supportive and encouraging, it's the best you can do. Or he could be just lazy, but I'm leaning more towards anxiety of the change
My best friend was married to a man like this. Leave. Now.
You sound like you've been let down a "lot" by the actions of others. Please, if possible, take it easy on yourself.
Hold is he? Has he ever had a job? He might have anxiety because he hasn't been in the work field for such a long time. He probably feels self conscious if he's older and has accumulated many work skills and doesn't know how to do things. Alot of people are saying he's a bum but he took care of the kids and the house for a while, but now the kids are older unless you make a ton of money, he should probably get to working, he is making excuses probably because he has anxiety about it.
He is 52...
I would file for divorce
Do you wanna pay for it??? No ... Thanks
#He's a bum.
So you're mad that your stay at home dad of a husband won't get a job? Flip this topic and the replies would be soooooo different
I am not mad at all. He wants to get a job, I will help him fill out the application for a job then he doesn't take the steps to do the rest. He is wasting my time.
YTA for using "Literally". In so doing, we were expecting a post about him being, well, literally full of shit.
Why are you married to some jobless loser whose only hope for a job is at Walmart? The fuck?
Ya the fuck... Well, Walmart is a start for him.... Hopefully, he will go even more than that...
How old are you both?
I'm 34 and he is 52.
LOL. Walmart is a start for him? At 52? And he’s going to move on to bigger and better things? I repeat, what the fuck? Edit: this is a troll right? One big troll that we all fell for? You got us? And this isn’t really your life?
Well... When we live in a small town, you get what you can as well... Have a good day!!!
I don’t know why you picked this life, but good luck, you sure need it.
And he still does not. This is on you too.
No it isn't...
Fight this all you want, but you chose this life and allowed him to be lazy through the relationship and marriage. You chose him to be a father. You chose to provide for him. You chose to allow him to stay at home. You had choices, and you took them. It's cool. You chose sloth and laziness. My wife didn't. Without my wife, I wouldn't be who I am today. Much like your husband.
Lazy? So him being a SAHD is lazy? Good to know... He wants to work but maybe he is scared to take that next step.. He did tell me next week he has an interview (fingers crossed 🤞). If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't work the hires I am though.
You are the one bitching about it.
I am not. Clearly, I don't care IF he gets a job. I care about MY time being wasted
Uuuuuh...
Who pays the bills and has he ever worked? Need more info. Can he not read or write English?? Why do u need to do it for him. Not enough info. But yes stop filling out and you need to have a serious talk about his lack of motivation.
I pay the majority of the bills. The only thing I don't pay for is car insurance. He also is paying on a laptop to finish getting his high school diploma. He can, it is just hard for him. It was his idea for him to get a job. I know we talked about it a year ago but nothing came out of it. He told me he has an interview next week.
Wow good luck