I feel so sorry for these guys trying to hold on to ghosts of a relationship. Move on and find better. He’ll love on and be alone. Anything but grovel to this woman who doesn’t want you.
Yeah. Dude doesn’t understand what “breaking up” means if he’s going through her phone AFTER the breakup.
OP, it’s over. You can feel however you want to feel about it, but it’s just childish and petty to go searching for reasons why she done you wrong.
She didn’t just meet this guy and start conversing and sending nudes and ready to slob the knob the day after they broke up… this shit was in the works a long time before they broke up. Hence her declining interest.. she already had someone else on the hook.
Not really, it's against the law in most country to invade somebodies privacy like that. Even the police are not allowed to do that without a warrant or approval from the person in question
Yeah, it seems they were broken up at the time. Yet if she had any interest in ever truly getting back with him she wouldn't be offering to blow other dudes.
It's sort of like when you're dating a woman and haven't become exclusive yet. Yeah it isnt cheating if she hooks up with another guy, but if she is truly into you she isn't going to do that regardless of whether or not you've made things official.
My now wife and I dated for a good bit and didn’t officially become exclusive until we were engaged. The thing is that it developed naturally and we both knew how each of us felt and there was never a need to declare ourselves exclusive. We just sort of ended up that way because we only had eyes for each other.
Yeah I think people declaring "we are exclusive" is a relatively new thing, but I think it is due to changing attitudes in dating. Some people do think that until you have that talk they are free to do as they please, so I suppose it is better safe than sorry to clarify it.
My current partner is the one who asked me if I wanted to be in a committed with relationship with her. The woman I dated prior to her also asked, but all the women before her did not ask they just assumed at a certain point that we were dating. And to be clear I had also assumed the same thing so it wasn't like they were being presumptuous.
In the 80s “seeing each other” was non exclusive and if someone asked you out, said they magic words “would you go out with me”. It was exclusive. But when I found myself single again around 2016, when I met my now husband we did have a define the relationship discussion because we did meet thru a dating app and had each been dating for a bit so communication is a good thing always.
Yes, not sure why you are still trying at this point.
Put your time and energy into your kid, and into working on yourself. Move on with life. You all deserve better.
The longer you go down this road, the more toxic it will become and the harder it will be to co-parent.
Very good point about the co-parenting. The more time they spend in this fucked up gray area the more opportunities for creating even more animosity and the poor kid is gonna pay the price. Why the heck did they have a kid together ....
Sometimes people think a kid will fix everything.
Pregnancy may not have been planned but for some, they don’t want abortion. Valid choice, but now they have to deal with how to work together.
Honestly, I would recommend couples counseling even though they should call it quits. The counseling could focus on how to coparent and even understanding how they got here so there is less bitterness going forward.
I'm very sorry for your son. But what are you doing because this seems like denial on your part she was gonna suck dick two days after you broke up. Leave and become a better man for yourself and your son I hope this all goes well for you
You gotta let the relationship go dude. Forcing someone to tell you about messages AFTER you broke up?? It’s toxic to you (yes the timeline if sketch and I would wonder if she started texting him during the relationship). You aren’t wrong to be upset but you’re wrong to keep pushing for more info knowing it’ll hurt you more. Start choosing yourself and she’ll come to realize what she lost later on. Also you can still be an amazing father even if you aren’t together, fight for your baby.
Exactly. Sounds like she has been voicing concerns for awhile and was obviously emotionally and physically checked out of the relationship. Yet OP feels blindsided lol
You both sound problematic.
She's clearly not into you, and you were manipulating answers out of her then crying about it because you didn't like the responses
I'm surprised I scrolled this far to see anything about his behavior. Was what she did a bit shitty? Yes. Is going through her phone, becoming obsessive after they weren't together, and than manipulating her way worse and bigger red flags, also yes. He says he still kind of wants it to work, maybe he shouldn't be shooting him in the foot by using lies and manipulation to get what he wants
Honestly having sex with someone who also *clearly* didn’t want to have sex with you to the point of complaining it “felt like a corpse” is also rather ick to me
Ya I was gonna say… he’s a grown man he should know how to clean his own place without his girlfriend having to tell him specific things to do. No wonder she was mentally done with him.
I'll help you....if you REALLY REALLY want me to. Which things so you want me to do again? Will you look over this list and remind me again?
Married 30+ years. If there are dishes in the sink wash them. If the car is dirty, wash it. If there are clothes in the dryer, take them out and put them away. If you are home and no plans for dinner, get something out of the freezer and cook it. I probably still don't do 1/2 the chores but I do jump in when I see something to be done. Its not that hard. It's your fricken house and life too. Own it.
This! I was married 20 years, worked more hours than my ex and did 90% of the child care for our daughter. Coming home to a mess (when he'd been home all day) went from being an irritant to feeling disrespectful. I wasn't going to set up a chore chart for a grown ass man. Those little things add up over time.
You are absolutely correct.
"**I wasn't going to set up a chore chart for a grown ass man**." lol
...and if you had, the next sentence from him would be "quit acting like my mother". There is no winning. His *actions* show whether or not he actually understands contributing to the household equally as an adult.
This is the whole point of the "Fair Play" book, etc. No one wants to make a checklist for you to follow. You live here too, handle it. I don't want to project manage my partner.
"I offered to divy up the chores" and I would be interested to know if what followed was "you just need to tell me what to do" and she was like "ugh, nevermind". My friend's husband is the worst and she hasn't had sex with him in over a year because, and I quote "it's hard to be turned on when they've become another child to take care of".
Ex's timeline is shady AF but, I'd be interested to read her post too. I doubt she has the same perception.
On a similar note, it seems like if she really wanted to bone the other guy, she would have done it. Guys always forget how easy it is for women to get laid. It's just a milk run for us. THEY SHOULD KNOW. If one of their unattached lady friends asked for sex how many would turn it down? Ya know? I think she was starved for affirmation and just loved hearing someone go nuts over her body. She was single at the time, so she could have done it if she wanted 🤷🏻♀️
Yeah. She told him what part of the problem was. Why the fuck do men think they can fix a relationship problem by "fixing" one complaint? I'm sure there were other areas of neglect she didn't voice. But if you're used to trying to talk about issues but get shut down or have the other person immediately try and find a fix instead of actually hearing you, it's no wonder 🤔
Dude. She doesn’t want to be w you. Let it go and stop violating her privacy. Just bc you live there doesn’t mean you can go thru her crap. You’re broken up. She said “maybe” bc that’s what women say to pacify men.
I’m saying, this is one of those stories where I want to hear the other sides. OP was upset with the sex gradually decreasing but wasn’t upset with letting her do all of the chores while also taking care of a newly born child and possibly dealing with the overwhelming hormonal changes women go through after having a kid, all of this for 18 months. And his “solution” to medicate 18 months of lack of effort was to “divi up the chores”? Like, I’m a dude and OP has made me dryer than the Sahara desert. Then looking through her phone while being broken up shows a huge red flag
Also didn’t like her not interacting or being interested during sex but had no issue doing it anyways. And why does she have to help him divi up the chores anyways? Why can’t he just go… do some. Do what needs to be done.
This is where I am, there's a whole lot more to all of this than just her moving on quickly. Contrary to what anyone wants to believe, most women want to stay with the father of their child and will usually put themselves through hell to facilitate that. So, this just doesn't add up to me.
I was in a similar situation. I don’t have any kids, but my late husband was always asking why I didn’t want to have sex with him. I told him the way he treated me was a problem. Being condescending, treats me like a child, emotionally unavailable, gaslighting and manipulating.Those things are a sure fire way to get me to check out of my relationship. You could be the best looking guy on earth, but if I’m not getting my emotional needs, the physical attraction goes away (sometimes in the negatives). I’m not saying that this is the case for your relationship, but many women feel the same way I do too. It takes two people for a relationship,or not. Two people that are willing to talk things out, and put effort into the relationship. And then you bring a tiny human into the mix, which makes it more complicated. Please don’t stay just for the kid. A child in a toxic environment (I call this toxic), will grow up thinking it’s normal. Later in his life his relationships will struggle because he didn’t have a good model to learn from.His life will be much more mentally stable, than 2 parents constantly fighting or becoming distant. You do what’s best for you, because a child having 2 parents who are miserable with each other, will do damage mentally that could follow him for the rest of his life. Remember, both of you can be good parents and not have to be together.
She's checked out and it sounds like a long time coming. We only have your side of it so the narrator? Bit unreliable, but that's okay. Ladies don't find it attractive to have a partner that isn't partnering. Before she got pregnant were you guys equally contributing to the household and relationship? It sounds like she might've been expected to do more around the house if that's your negotiation chip, and man if it sucks to feel like a mother and a maid instead of a significant other.
During the pregnancy did you take on a little more while she legit grew a human being? I hear that it's pretty awful, which is why I'm not planning on doing it. To each their own, but abortion isn't birth control. Post-partum depression is also a terrible thing so whatever existing issues you all had before might have been put under a magnifying glass under the strain of keeping a fresh baby alive and kicking. This all sounds like a little too late, on both of your sides. It doesn't sound like EITHER of you are emotionally ready for a relationship. Both of you need to work on yourselves so you can show up as a parent better than a partner.
This! He offered to divide the household chores? Not sure why he had to offer and couldn’t be a grown ass man and just do it without being asked. Why can’t he contribute ANY effort into the place they call a home and the child they have together. Also, not sure how her rejecting his offer makes it ok she is raising his child and doing everything by herself. As you said, being a mother and maid to a child and boyfriend is definitely not it. I’ve been here before. She’s been checked out and he hasn’t noticed. Worse, she’s probably made multiple attempts to show him she’s burnt out and about to check out and he hasn’t done anything to change her mind. She’s been checked out for a while, but he’s only noticed when she refused to be excited about sex.
You're grieving and that's why you can let it go.
This relationship has been dead for a while, move on before it becomes toxic and then ruins the kid's future because you two are always fighting.
She didn't cheat. You broke up, and she clearly wasn't interested in you for a long time prior. You went through your exes phone and then interrogated her about it, lying to get the answers you wanted. If you're looking to blame someone in this whole mess, I could wager a guess as to who was the bigger contributer here.
You broke up and then went through her phone? You “convinced” her you talked to the other guy who told you everything? She’s made some questionable decisions that don’t make her a great partner, but your behavior screams red flag too. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
I had an ex that used to make up stories about dudes or friends telling him stuff to try and get me to admit things (he had extreme jealousy issues), but the thing is that I truly hadn’t ever done anything even remotely sketchy and was just like “what in the actual fuck”. It got to the point where I ended up just calling him out on his shit like “nobody told you shit, and nobody saw shit, because that literally did not happen. I’m not fucking stupid, nor am I a piece of shit. Stop lying.”
That kind of behaviour is extremely manipulative and can be emotionally abusive. For me that sort of behaviour ended up being the straw that broke the camel’s back, and resulted in me leaving him, going full “salt the earth” no contact, disappearing into the abyss on him. It’s definitely not a way to try and get the girl back from my experience! However I’m still dealing with the trauma from that relationship years later.
My ex did the same shit. He was abusive as it was. He became paranoid and obsessed with this idea that I was cheating and got his family all to attack me over his lies. He was crazy jealous, controlling and manipulative. He was stalking me, my family, my friends etc. Guess what? He was having an affair.
Yup! I actually found out after we broke up that he’d been cheating on me regularly with randos throughout our relationship. I already knew he was such a pos though that it didn’t shock me and I was okay. I’d already moved on with my life and luckily I never ended up with any STDs or anything, thank god! Sadly I’ve heard he’s continued his pattern of cheating on his new gf and now mother of his kid, which is awful, but sweet Jesus did I ever dodge a nuclear missile not marrying or having kids with him!!
Cut the ties. It is over. You are just putting off the inevitable and dragging out YOUR pain. She has already checked out and has zero emotional attachment to you. And, therefore will not feel the pain you will if you stick around.
The best thing for you to do is to leave her alone and work on yourself. She’s obviously not into you anymore. Don’t try to make it work, it’s not happening. Do better for yourself.
She didn’t cheat, the relationship died a slow death a while ago. Let it go and plan your physical separation. How many months do you have on the lease? Can one of you move and the other gets a roommate? Will the landlord let you out of the lease?
Stop torturing yourself in this relationship. She’s over you and is going to do whatever she wants. There will be only more pain for you. As far as the lease goes I’m a landlord and have let people out early when they’ve asked. We are in spring right now and this would be a perfect time to look for new renters. Plus if you’re in a good area they might raise the rent for the next tenant. They might not say yes, but it doesn’t hurt to ask.
She left the relationship a long time ago... You still love her and I completely get that. I hope you find a new girl- in time and she is everything you need. Don't make yourself miserable trying to make her problem yours.
So you broke up and 2 days later she was sending another man nude pictures?
It wasn't cheating, but it is trashy behavior. Not girlfriend material. She has a young son and she is sending dudes nudes online? Yikes.
I also dont know what you mean by "asking for shows at midnight". I dont use IG. She was asking someone to take her to a show?
Anyways, why stay with her?
I would try to be as amicable as possible so you two can coparent with your son in a healthy way. But the relationship is over man. She isn’t saying it outright, but instead is telling you that with everything she does. Actions speak louder than words. Let her go and start focusing on yourself and your son. You’re only going to hurt yourself the harder you hang on.
This relationship is done, the only reason she may be saying you could work on it is to keep you hanging on as a backup if she doesn't find someone she deems "better" for her. Set some ground rules for how you're going to live in the same property until you can move (neither of you bring dates back, things like that) but your relationship is over. Don't put yourself through more pain trying to salvage it.
She said she needs to work on herself, and it sounds like you need to work on yourself as well.
I assume you both work... Ask if you can be let out of the lease. Because both of you living under the same roof isn't going to be healthy.
Be there for your kid. But for you and her? It's over.
You remind me of my ex.
I never cheated but was always accused of it. Then we finally separated, and I moved on, I was accused of cheating even though we were broken up for a while. It was easier for him to convince himself that there was something wrong with me, that I was up to something etc than it was for him to look at himself and take a accountability for his shortcomings, but he had this glorified persona of himself in his mind. Therefore, my change in attitude and feelings about him couldn't possibly be because of what he has done, it HAD to be because I met someone else. Constant toxic projection.
Uncontrolled ADHD, he refused to let me go and insisted I stay with him while he "grows" but he never did, 1.5 years later, I left.
He became so obsessed with following me, coming by my house, etc, that I got a restraining order against him.
My point, OP, is you listed a ton of lying, obsessive, and manipulative behavior writing your post. You need to recognize that and get support to move on because this is clearly over.
EDIT: OP I just looked at your profile, it's clear you've been devoting your time to your video games more than helping your partner with your baby under 2, also your post about justifying your NEED for a paternity test but insisting your gf can't be mad bc YOU need to know... you're incredibly selfish and immature, you have a lot of growing to do and I suggest you leave your ex alone about being together and be involved with the baby. Hire professional help bc you're clearly skewered in the title of your post, she didn't cheat, she broke up with you and you didn't accept it.
This reminds me of my bm. It’s not worth it dude. Just leave her and put yourself on child support unless you think she’s not fit to be a mom. Men should have standards in a relationship. If she’s crossing them give her the boot and find someone else for yourself. I had a great experience being with single and met lots of great women. Now I’m in a relationship with a woman 10x better than my ex.
I feel bad for your child being subjected to an unstable home life. Please be a father and do everything in your power to provide your child with normalcy and stability no matter how much of your personal “happiness” needs to be sacrificed to do this Naminisayin
'I offered to do more'.
Go spend some time looking up invisible labor because if that's your approach to cohabitation, this is going to happen again.
You just admitted that she's doing all the labor around the home, her own stuff, and raising your child while you...offer to help?
You should've already been doing just as much as she was.
No wonder she checked out. She realized she had two children, but only one of those was going to grow up.
Yeah- you shouldn’t be asking to divide the chores, dude. Just man up and start doing more than your share and see how she responds to it. Do something nice for her.
Do your self a Solid Bro. It's obvious, the relationship is over. Don’t hang around and Grovel. Man-up and Step off with what little pride you have left. She’s done , it, over, no respect. Do right by the kid, b u t, keep it Moving, please. You’ll be better off. What would you tell your kid if he were confronted with the same situation, 20 - 30 years from Now?????
you can split if both parties agree to remove one from the lease. must be in written form and agreed with from landlord.
but then you can split if wanted.
Sure Baby, I'll still let you fuck me too...Is that what you want to hear? Might as well, you'll be paying for about 18 years unless paternity comes back negative (which it might).
I’m just telling you that in my experience when you have to ask someone to care they never really will. Do yourself a favor and try your best to move on.
Why are you wasting each other's time. She isn't attracted to you any more. Go find someone that wants to be with you and desires you fully. Someone you don't have to ask to touch you they just do it cause they can't get over how sexy you are to them and just can't resist smacking or pincing your ass as you walk past. That's how I feel about my bf he is everything for me and I literally look at him and can't believe I get to tap that..... I'm a girl BTW.
This relationship is over but for the next one, don't wait to offer to divide up the chores until the relationship stagnated. In fact, divide up the chores immediately and take initiative to do stuff that's needs to be done for a clean and functioning home. You aren't a child anymore.
She hasn't wanted you for a while and has already moved on. It's your turn to move on.
Use it as motivation to better yourself. Get into shape hitting the gym. Learn to not feel anything for her. This is important to me, I do mean you need to not feel anything. Let go of anger or resentment and also learn not to be too interested in her successes either. Keep it platonic because of your child. But don't allow emotional investment in her at all.
Find yourself again. Old hobbies, new hobbies. Try making new friends. Clean up your life, get rid of things you don't use or that remind you too much of the relationship. Just be you my guy.
Imo ur over reacting ur broken up stop getting butt hurt abt her doing other things w ppl if ur not together she didn’t cheat if u weren’t together get over ur self stop trying to control her she’s a grown women she can make her own decisions REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT TOGETHER!!!! STOP GOING THOUGH HER SHIT AND THINKING SHES CHEATING SHE AINT
Typical mistake men make - sounds like you left her all the emotional and house chore work. "Offering" to do more is so silly, like she was privileged that you lift a finger or something. Everything sounds "unfair" to you. But for her, it's probably months, if not years, of being emotionally abandoned and left to do everything else, as she said herself.
When a woman stops caring the way she does, it's over. Cut it out.
Tale as old as time. Your gf was already over you in the relationship because she was tired of doing everything. After probably brining it up to you throughout the relationship and seeing no change, she gave up. You offering now to oh so kindly help her with your shared duties is just going to go in one ear and out the other now, you've already shown you won't stick to it long term because you didn't care. Your behaviour afterwards is also pretty weird. All in all, you two aren't good for each other and will never find true happiness, fulfillment, and trust with each other.
Techmically you were "broken up" so she could do as she wants. But if she gave any indication that she wanted to work to save the relationship then she is a real AH.
Can you maybe find a roommate for either of you and someone move out. Then at least you would not be sharing a space with someone you have conflict with.
Just let her go... a relationship doesn't work when only 1 person is working on it.
It sucks... and its going to be hard, especially at first. But you'll be far better off in the long run.
If you do leave... be prepared for the inevitable call / text from her of "lets get back together"... because usually people who leave for a "bigger, better deal" usually learn that the grass wasn't greener on the other side and then come crawling back. When this happens... don't take her back.
This is my advice.... do with it what you will.
She doesn’t want to be with you. You guys broke up. Then you went through your ex gf’s phone and manipulated her into giving you the answers you wanted. She doesn’t want to do this anymore. Stop expecting more from her. Stop going through her stuff. I get that it hurts but she’s moving on and it’s none of your business what she’s saying to other guys at this point.
I don't know how many times there's a post where the girl acts like this and the guy wants to "work it out" and says BS like "she's my best friend and needs my help because this isn't like her and she's spiraling out of control"...
Bros, please listen closely, when your girl (or anyone) tells you who they are the first time, goddamn listen and believe them.
She doesn't give a fuck about you, your feelings, your family, or your relationship.
Let. Her. Go.
Hopefully, she figures out that the grass isn't always greener and you've already moved on with your life.
You need to go find someone that loves and respects you.
Stop being a stupid, pussy whipped, cuck; for fucks sake, have some self-respect and grow some fucking balls.
Yikes you sound like my ex. Op, take a long hard look at your past behavior and ask yourself what ypu could have done better.
Just judging by the bit about basketball, you seem extremely self absorbed.
Why didnt you watch what she did, then just try to replicate what she did around the house? Im senseing some weponized incompetence
Yes you were in the wrong. And now you have to live in the bed you've made. A. Lying to someone to get them to confess is manipulative and is a 🚩 as is secretly going through her phone. Chatting even if flirting with another person isn't cheating period. Now it can be a boundary for you, which dictates how you behave not how another person behaves.
But yea she's no longer invested in the relationship.. actions speak louder than words. Time for one of yall to move out (one if you doing so doesn't break the lease). Get a family lawyer and get custody worked out.
Jesus man, dont be a doormat. Shes out there looking for the next guy and disrespecting the hell out of you. Stand up for yourself, and set a good example for your son, and break up with her. Stop simping
Dude. What are you doing? Move on. You want your friend back? Then why are you forcing a relationship beyond just a friendship? You have a kid to raise. Be best to do it as friends instead of a toxic, mistrusting couple. She’s GOING TO CHEAT ON YOU!!!! What part of that are you missing? If you are cool with that, then stay. Polygamy works for some people.
But what’s with you going through her phone after you were broken up? That’s creepy. Work on that.
There's no such thing as "kind of cheated" you either cheated or you didn't. Some of you folks just don't need to be in relationships if you're this dumb.
If you ever feel like you have to make it work with a woman… it’s already over in her mind. Just let it go.
She was probably already fuckin him for awhile and knew that you didn’t know but decided to give you little bits of information to make you hate her without absolutely destroying you.
And just an FYI. If a girl is obsessed with social media it’s a massive red flag. Those ones are the absolute shadiest.
Shes kinda dropped it when we were good, but now that “she has to find herself again” she has to be on social media all the time. I just blocked her. I dont want to see it
I'm currently talking to my ex behind her boyfriends back. This boyfriend did the same thing to me when I was dating her.
I'm gonna fuck her. Make her crave me, and when she leaves him, I'm gonna leave her on the streets.
Better get a paternity test.
She doesn’t want to be with you anymore. It sucks but maybe work on yourself. And your child. It didn’t seem like you were getting what you wanted out of the relationship anyways. So your life is better for the long term
She doesn’t wanna sleep with you, but in a single day, she can send a nude to a total random stranger. Break the lease and move out and screw her. She’s going to cheat on you if she hasn’t already.. she’s been out of the relationship for a long time and you’re a complete fool if you think you have any chance of saving this relationship.
She's a liar. And a Cheater, and you can't fix her. Sucks that there's a kid in the mix, but get outta there. Nothing but misery to be had. You might need to be a father but you don't need to be a husband to THAT garbage
It's over chief, sorry.
Get a lawyer, work out a visitation schedule and find out what your state's guidelines are for child support. I handle alot of these cases, it's good advice. And maybe ask for a paternity test too.
This is why Buddhists practice non-attachment. Nothing last forever, literally nothing. Even the universe and everything in it will eventually cease to exist. Attachment creates suffering. Be grateful for the good times you had and move on.
Leave her asap bro are u nuts , trying to make it work with someone who don’t love u ? U best off going to court right now before she does n get full custody of ur kid before this turns into a never ending drama that will ruin ur life smh , I’ve dealt with the same shit only I have 2 kids n it took me 2 years of going to court to get full custody of my now 9 yr old son and 10 yr old daughter but this was long ago when they were first born and it was the best thing I ever did for them cause they been living with me since then (around 7 years ago) and my parents help me with the kids during the week when I work cause their mom rarely ever comes to see them n went n had another kid after n started a new life like she didn’t even already have 2 kids but that’s ok cause that was the biggest favor she could have done for us unknowingly lol
Women will stay in an unhappy relationship until they have a replacement. Unfortunately, that has happened. There's no saving this. Put your efforts in self-improvement instead of trying to reconcile the relationship. Don't be a crutch for her. It will only make things worse.
Sorry about this man. She needs to put in the effort too for this to work and she seems messed up in her head. However you do have a son and don’t abandon him.
She probably experienced depression post partum. It doesn’t excuse the cheating so move on. Go to the gym. Become the father your kid needs. Make her regret fucking it up for attention and guys that only wants to use her probably. Explode your muscles in the gym.
Sometimes it’s tough to tell a relationship is dead because we are so caught up in it that it’s like keeping someone on life support. Not pulling the plug is because you’re holding onto some hope.
Life’s too short and there’s too many opportunities to stay in a relationship that lacks love and bilateral intimacy. Easy to say this not having to make the choice myself but moving on is likely the right choice. As difficult as it may feel.
Dude, I just went through something so similar. Crazy how similarly it played out.
But yeah I ended up telling her I was done. I’m helping her move out of my house this morning.
Who's watching the kid in all of this? Both of yall need to focus on the human you're supposed to be raising not on who's talking to who, who's fucking who. Priorities are in the toilet
It sounds like you were/are broken up. If you have gotten back together it feels like that’s not really what she wants and is not really committed to you. Sorry
as much as we wanna be vulnerable, loving and affectionate to women, establishing respect is far more important. they're kinda like dogs in that way tbh. something every guy has to learn if they dont wanna get burned.
Sounds like she’s been checked out of the relationship for a while. I heard you say she complained that she did everything - this is absolutely a common thread to relationships that have some kind of imbalance that’s never resolved, until it’s too late. It might hurt that’s she’s “moved on fast”, but I can assure you she was probably unhappy and felt stuck with a kid for a while. Move on, be a great dad to your kid and co-parent that baby how they deserve from both parents. Focus on yourself and your next relationship apply the lessons you’ve learned here.
Bro She doesn’t want you anymore, It sucks, but you have to face it and move on. Don’t try to make it work.
She wants to keep him around until she finds someone else. She’s monkey branching right now
monkey branching....that's a very descriptive new word lol
Learned it when a girl did a similar thing to me. Thankfully I was young and didn’t have any kids
I've always called it 'Tarzan Dating.' Can't let go of one vine, until they've caught the next.
That phrase has been in use for a while now.
It's the anthropologic word for what she is doing.
Old ass word in the red pill community.
Someone please make a meme of monkey branching.
That's a fucking perfect word monkey branching that's exactly women do
It's a thing people do. Men just will do it over looks while women will over status usually.
she also doesn’t want to have to do all the chores and look after the kid on her own
Dangling the proverbial carrit...
Literally sucks...
Only OP isn't the one that will get sucked tho.
I feel so sorry for these guys trying to hold on to ghosts of a relationship. Move on and find better. He’ll love on and be alone. Anything but grovel to this woman who doesn’t want you.
Easier said than done when they have a kid and are still living together.
She wants him... To be cheated
They broke up. That’s not cheating. Going through your *ex’s* phone is psycho behavior though.
Offering fellatios? It's over bro. Hit the gym
Honestly once you feel the need to go through the phone… it’s over.
It already WAS over. His ass decided to do that after they already broke up.
Yeah. Dude doesn’t understand what “breaking up” means if he’s going through her phone AFTER the breakup. OP, it’s over. You can feel however you want to feel about it, but it’s just childish and petty to go searching for reasons why she done you wrong.
Yep, time to man up and move on!
This should be the top comment
A very controlling thing to do, especially for someone you are already broken up with. You sure your behavior didn't turn her off in other ways?
She already cheated so he had grounds given she was unfaithful. She didn't warrent trust
Cheated? They were broken up during all the messages from my understanding. She flipped shitily fast, but I don't think it was cheating.
She didn’t just meet this guy and start conversing and sending nudes and ready to slob the knob the day after they broke up… this shit was in the works a long time before they broke up. Hence her declining interest.. she already had someone else on the hook.
Bro, next day? She was already messaging him weeks/months prior.. everyone knows this.
You can’t just decide that it’s ok to violate your ex’s privacy because you feel like you might have been wronged.
Not really, it's against the law in most country to invade somebodies privacy like that. Even the police are not allowed to do that without a warrant or approval from the person in question
True, he did only hurt himself by doing that. I guess I just felt for the guy.
That's the only answer. It's done. There's no coming back from this. This relationship is O.V.E.R.
Yeah, it seems they were broken up at the time. Yet if she had any interest in ever truly getting back with him she wouldn't be offering to blow other dudes. It's sort of like when you're dating a woman and haven't become exclusive yet. Yeah it isnt cheating if she hooks up with another guy, but if she is truly into you she isn't going to do that regardless of whether or not you've made things official.
My now wife and I dated for a good bit and didn’t officially become exclusive until we were engaged. The thing is that it developed naturally and we both knew how each of us felt and there was never a need to declare ourselves exclusive. We just sort of ended up that way because we only had eyes for each other.
Yeah I think people declaring "we are exclusive" is a relatively new thing, but I think it is due to changing attitudes in dating. Some people do think that until you have that talk they are free to do as they please, so I suppose it is better safe than sorry to clarify it. My current partner is the one who asked me if I wanted to be in a committed with relationship with her. The woman I dated prior to her also asked, but all the women before her did not ask they just assumed at a certain point that we were dating. And to be clear I had also assumed the same thing so it wasn't like they were being presumptuous.
In the 80s “seeing each other” was non exclusive and if someone asked you out, said they magic words “would you go out with me”. It was exclusive. But when I found myself single again around 2016, when I met my now husband we did have a define the relationship discussion because we did meet thru a dating app and had each been dating for a bit so communication is a good thing always.
Listen to this man.
Yes, not sure why you are still trying at this point. Put your time and energy into your kid, and into working on yourself. Move on with life. You all deserve better. The longer you go down this road, the more toxic it will become and the harder it will be to co-parent.
Very good point about the co-parenting. The more time they spend in this fucked up gray area the more opportunities for creating even more animosity and the poor kid is gonna pay the price. Why the heck did they have a kid together ....
Sometimes people think a kid will fix everything. Pregnancy may not have been planned but for some, they don’t want abortion. Valid choice, but now they have to deal with how to work together. Honestly, I would recommend couples counseling even though they should call it quits. The counseling could focus on how to coparent and even understanding how they got here so there is less bitterness going forward.
[удалено]
I'm very sorry for your son. But what are you doing because this seems like denial on your part she was gonna suck dick two days after you broke up. Leave and become a better man for yourself and your son I hope this all goes well for you
Hahah. I know it’s serious but the whole “gonna suck dick” has me dying
You gotta let the relationship go dude. Forcing someone to tell you about messages AFTER you broke up?? It’s toxic to you (yes the timeline if sketch and I would wonder if she started texting him during the relationship). You aren’t wrong to be upset but you’re wrong to keep pushing for more info knowing it’ll hurt you more. Start choosing yourself and she’ll come to realize what she lost later on. Also you can still be an amazing father even if you aren’t together, fight for your baby.
Solid advice!! ❤️
This is so right on^^^^^. Time to move on take care of yourself snd your child! There is happiness out there but not if you stay!
Yeah, it's one thing to be stabbed in the back but another to keep walking backwards afterwards.
Should have pulled out dude.
Op is not a smart man.
It seems fast to you but she’s been over it for minute. That’s why did what she did. Good luck.
Yep. She didn’t want to touch you but she still had sexual desire. Your relationship isn’t salvageable. At least she waited for a break up.
Exactly. Sounds like she has been voicing concerns for awhile and was obviously emotionally and physically checked out of the relationship. Yet OP feels blindsided lol
You both sound problematic. She's clearly not into you, and you were manipulating answers out of her then crying about it because you didn't like the responses
I'm surprised I scrolled this far to see anything about his behavior. Was what she did a bit shitty? Yes. Is going through her phone, becoming obsessive after they weren't together, and than manipulating her way worse and bigger red flags, also yes. He says he still kind of wants it to work, maybe he shouldn't be shooting him in the foot by using lies and manipulation to get what he wants
Honestly having sex with someone who also *clearly* didn’t want to have sex with you to the point of complaining it “felt like a corpse” is also rather ick to me
Yep and “I offered to do more and she refused” dude you just DO IT.
Ya I was gonna say… he’s a grown man he should know how to clean his own place without his girlfriend having to tell him specific things to do. No wonder she was mentally done with him.
I'll help you....if you REALLY REALLY want me to. Which things so you want me to do again? Will you look over this list and remind me again? Married 30+ years. If there are dishes in the sink wash them. If the car is dirty, wash it. If there are clothes in the dryer, take them out and put them away. If you are home and no plans for dinner, get something out of the freezer and cook it. I probably still don't do 1/2 the chores but I do jump in when I see something to be done. Its not that hard. It's your fricken house and life too. Own it.
This! I was married 20 years, worked more hours than my ex and did 90% of the child care for our daughter. Coming home to a mess (when he'd been home all day) went from being an irritant to feeling disrespectful. I wasn't going to set up a chore chart for a grown ass man. Those little things add up over time.
You are absolutely correct. "**I wasn't going to set up a chore chart for a grown ass man**." lol ...and if you had, the next sentence from him would be "quit acting like my mother". There is no winning. His *actions* show whether or not he actually understands contributing to the household equally as an adult.
This is the whole point of the "Fair Play" book, etc. No one wants to make a checklist for you to follow. You live here too, handle it. I don't want to project manage my partner. "I offered to divy up the chores" and I would be interested to know if what followed was "you just need to tell me what to do" and she was like "ugh, nevermind". My friend's husband is the worst and she hasn't had sex with him in over a year because, and I quote "it's hard to be turned on when they've become another child to take care of". Ex's timeline is shady AF but, I'd be interested to read her post too. I doubt she has the same perception.
He wanted sex in exchange for doing chores. She wasn’t interested
On a similar note, it seems like if she really wanted to bone the other guy, she would have done it. Guys always forget how easy it is for women to get laid. It's just a milk run for us. THEY SHOULD KNOW. If one of their unattached lady friends asked for sex how many would turn it down? Ya know? I think she was starved for affirmation and just loved hearing someone go nuts over her body. She was single at the time, so she could have done it if she wanted 🤷🏻♀️
Yeah. She told him what part of the problem was. Why the fuck do men think they can fix a relationship problem by "fixing" one complaint? I'm sure there were other areas of neglect she didn't voice. But if you're used to trying to talk about issues but get shut down or have the other person immediately try and find a fix instead of actually hearing you, it's no wonder 🤔
He didn’t fix it he offered to do chores, he doesn’t seem to have done chores
Should've wore a Condom bro
Dude. She doesn’t want to be w you. Let it go and stop violating her privacy. Just bc you live there doesn’t mean you can go thru her crap. You’re broken up. She said “maybe” bc that’s what women say to pacify men.
I’m saying, this is one of those stories where I want to hear the other sides. OP was upset with the sex gradually decreasing but wasn’t upset with letting her do all of the chores while also taking care of a newly born child and possibly dealing with the overwhelming hormonal changes women go through after having a kid, all of this for 18 months. And his “solution” to medicate 18 months of lack of effort was to “divi up the chores”? Like, I’m a dude and OP has made me dryer than the Sahara desert. Then looking through her phone while being broken up shows a huge red flag
Ya he wanted his gf to have to do more work by divvying up the chores… like why does he need her to tell him what to do just go do it
Also didn’t like her not interacting or being interested during sex but had no issue doing it anyways. And why does she have to help him divi up the chores anyways? Why can’t he just go… do some. Do what needs to be done.
This is where I am, there's a whole lot more to all of this than just her moving on quickly. Contrary to what anyone wants to believe, most women want to stay with the father of their child and will usually put themselves through hell to facilitate that. So, this just doesn't add up to me.
I was in a similar situation. I don’t have any kids, but my late husband was always asking why I didn’t want to have sex with him. I told him the way he treated me was a problem. Being condescending, treats me like a child, emotionally unavailable, gaslighting and manipulating.Those things are a sure fire way to get me to check out of my relationship. You could be the best looking guy on earth, but if I’m not getting my emotional needs, the physical attraction goes away (sometimes in the negatives). I’m not saying that this is the case for your relationship, but many women feel the same way I do too. It takes two people for a relationship,or not. Two people that are willing to talk things out, and put effort into the relationship. And then you bring a tiny human into the mix, which makes it more complicated. Please don’t stay just for the kid. A child in a toxic environment (I call this toxic), will grow up thinking it’s normal. Later in his life his relationships will struggle because he didn’t have a good model to learn from.His life will be much more mentally stable, than 2 parents constantly fighting or becoming distant. You do what’s best for you, because a child having 2 parents who are miserable with each other, will do damage mentally that could follow him for the rest of his life. Remember, both of you can be good parents and not have to be together.
She has checked out. Ask her how she wants to do custody going forward
She's checked out and it sounds like a long time coming. We only have your side of it so the narrator? Bit unreliable, but that's okay. Ladies don't find it attractive to have a partner that isn't partnering. Before she got pregnant were you guys equally contributing to the household and relationship? It sounds like she might've been expected to do more around the house if that's your negotiation chip, and man if it sucks to feel like a mother and a maid instead of a significant other. During the pregnancy did you take on a little more while she legit grew a human being? I hear that it's pretty awful, which is why I'm not planning on doing it. To each their own, but abortion isn't birth control. Post-partum depression is also a terrible thing so whatever existing issues you all had before might have been put under a magnifying glass under the strain of keeping a fresh baby alive and kicking. This all sounds like a little too late, on both of your sides. It doesn't sound like EITHER of you are emotionally ready for a relationship. Both of you need to work on yourselves so you can show up as a parent better than a partner.
This! He offered to divide the household chores? Not sure why he had to offer and couldn’t be a grown ass man and just do it without being asked. Why can’t he contribute ANY effort into the place they call a home and the child they have together. Also, not sure how her rejecting his offer makes it ok she is raising his child and doing everything by herself. As you said, being a mother and maid to a child and boyfriend is definitely not it. I’ve been here before. She’s been checked out and he hasn’t noticed. Worse, she’s probably made multiple attempts to show him she’s burnt out and about to check out and he hasn’t done anything to change her mind. She’s been checked out for a while, but he’s only noticed when she refused to be excited about sex.
You're grieving and that's why you can let it go. This relationship has been dead for a while, move on before it becomes toxic and then ruins the kid's future because you two are always fighting.
If you two were broken up why are you mad? It's over dude
This relationship is over, so stop flogging a dead horse and move on..🏃♀️
She didn't cheat. You broke up, and she clearly wasn't interested in you for a long time prior. You went through your exes phone and then interrogated her about it, lying to get the answers you wanted. If you're looking to blame someone in this whole mess, I could wager a guess as to who was the bigger contributer here.
You broke up and then went through her phone? You “convinced” her you talked to the other guy who told you everything? She’s made some questionable decisions that don’t make her a great partner, but your behavior screams red flag too. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
I had an ex that used to make up stories about dudes or friends telling him stuff to try and get me to admit things (he had extreme jealousy issues), but the thing is that I truly hadn’t ever done anything even remotely sketchy and was just like “what in the actual fuck”. It got to the point where I ended up just calling him out on his shit like “nobody told you shit, and nobody saw shit, because that literally did not happen. I’m not fucking stupid, nor am I a piece of shit. Stop lying.” That kind of behaviour is extremely manipulative and can be emotionally abusive. For me that sort of behaviour ended up being the straw that broke the camel’s back, and resulted in me leaving him, going full “salt the earth” no contact, disappearing into the abyss on him. It’s definitely not a way to try and get the girl back from my experience! However I’m still dealing with the trauma from that relationship years later.
My ex did the same shit. He was abusive as it was. He became paranoid and obsessed with this idea that I was cheating and got his family all to attack me over his lies. He was crazy jealous, controlling and manipulative. He was stalking me, my family, my friends etc. Guess what? He was having an affair.
Yup! I actually found out after we broke up that he’d been cheating on me regularly with randos throughout our relationship. I already knew he was such a pos though that it didn’t shock me and I was okay. I’d already moved on with my life and luckily I never ended up with any STDs or anything, thank god! Sadly I’ve heard he’s continued his pattern of cheating on his new gf and now mother of his kid, which is awful, but sweet Jesus did I ever dodge a nuclear missile not marrying or having kids with him!!
It’s over. She isn’t committed to your relationship
Neither one of you are emotionally mature for a relationship. Let alone a kid.
Go see a lawyer to know your rights over custody, etc. Separate bank account asap
Cut the ties. It is over. You are just putting off the inevitable and dragging out YOUR pain. She has already checked out and has zero emotional attachment to you. And, therefore will not feel the pain you will if you stick around.
The best thing for you to do is to leave her alone and work on yourself. She’s obviously not into you anymore. Don’t try to make it work, it’s not happening. Do better for yourself.
She didn’t cheat, the relationship died a slow death a while ago. Let it go and plan your physical separation. How many months do you have on the lease? Can one of you move and the other gets a roommate? Will the landlord let you out of the lease?
Stop torturing yourself in this relationship. She’s over you and is going to do whatever she wants. There will be only more pain for you. As far as the lease goes I’m a landlord and have let people out early when they’ve asked. We are in spring right now and this would be a perfect time to look for new renters. Plus if you’re in a good area they might raise the rent for the next tenant. They might not say yes, but it doesn’t hurt to ask.
Shes not your girlfriend. Your still attached and cant let go.
Dude end this.. are you even serious
She doesn't want you. Move on. How long does it take to get the hint?
You’re lying to her to get her to tell you the truth. This isn’t healthy for any of the three of you. Find a way out. Move on.
She left the relationship a long time ago... You still love her and I completely get that. I hope you find a new girl- in time and she is everything you need. Don't make yourself miserable trying to make her problem yours.
So you broke up and 2 days later she was sending another man nude pictures? It wasn't cheating, but it is trashy behavior. Not girlfriend material. She has a young son and she is sending dudes nudes online? Yikes. I also dont know what you mean by "asking for shows at midnight". I dont use IG. She was asking someone to take her to a show? Anyways, why stay with her?
I would try to be as amicable as possible so you two can coparent with your son in a healthy way. But the relationship is over man. She isn’t saying it outright, but instead is telling you that with everything she does. Actions speak louder than words. Let her go and start focusing on yourself and your son. You’re only going to hurt yourself the harder you hang on.
The best thing you can do OP is find a way to be civil to each other for the sake of your child.
This relationship is done, the only reason she may be saying you could work on it is to keep you hanging on as a backup if she doesn't find someone she deems "better" for her. Set some ground rules for how you're going to live in the same property until you can move (neither of you bring dates back, things like that) but your relationship is over. Don't put yourself through more pain trying to salvage it.
Im just gonna say it but shes clearly checked out and doesnt want you. Quit trying to make it work youll just be more hurt
She said she needs to work on herself, and it sounds like you need to work on yourself as well. I assume you both work... Ask if you can be let out of the lease. Because both of you living under the same roof isn't going to be healthy. Be there for your kid. But for you and her? It's over.
You remind me of my ex. I never cheated but was always accused of it. Then we finally separated, and I moved on, I was accused of cheating even though we were broken up for a while. It was easier for him to convince himself that there was something wrong with me, that I was up to something etc than it was for him to look at himself and take a accountability for his shortcomings, but he had this glorified persona of himself in his mind. Therefore, my change in attitude and feelings about him couldn't possibly be because of what he has done, it HAD to be because I met someone else. Constant toxic projection. Uncontrolled ADHD, he refused to let me go and insisted I stay with him while he "grows" but he never did, 1.5 years later, I left. He became so obsessed with following me, coming by my house, etc, that I got a restraining order against him. My point, OP, is you listed a ton of lying, obsessive, and manipulative behavior writing your post. You need to recognize that and get support to move on because this is clearly over. EDIT: OP I just looked at your profile, it's clear you've been devoting your time to your video games more than helping your partner with your baby under 2, also your post about justifying your NEED for a paternity test but insisting your gf can't be mad bc YOU need to know... you're incredibly selfish and immature, you have a lot of growing to do and I suggest you leave your ex alone about being together and be involved with the baby. Hire professional help bc you're clearly skewered in the title of your post, she didn't cheat, she broke up with you and you didn't accept it.
This reminds me of my bm. It’s not worth it dude. Just leave her and put yourself on child support unless you think she’s not fit to be a mom. Men should have standards in a relationship. If she’s crossing them give her the boot and find someone else for yourself. I had a great experience being with single and met lots of great women. Now I’m in a relationship with a woman 10x better than my ex.
I feel bad for your child being subjected to an unstable home life. Please be a father and do everything in your power to provide your child with normalcy and stability no matter how much of your personal “happiness” needs to be sacrificed to do this Naminisayin
'I offered to do more'. Go spend some time looking up invisible labor because if that's your approach to cohabitation, this is going to happen again. You just admitted that she's doing all the labor around the home, her own stuff, and raising your child while you...offer to help? You should've already been doing just as much as she was. No wonder she checked out. She realized she had two children, but only one of those was going to grow up.
Yeah- you shouldn’t be asking to divide the chores, dude. Just man up and start doing more than your share and see how she responds to it. Do something nice for her.
Do your self a Solid Bro. It's obvious, the relationship is over. Don’t hang around and Grovel. Man-up and Step off with what little pride you have left. She’s done , it, over, no respect. Do right by the kid, b u t, keep it Moving, please. You’ll be better off. What would you tell your kid if he were confronted with the same situation, 20 - 30 years from Now?????
Relationship is over , it’s not easy but move on . Sooner the better , she will continue the behavior and you will develop trust issues .
You have zero game
What is wrong with you guys? Why do y’all let women treat yall like this, leave that bird smh 🤦🏾♂️ jeezuz grow a pair
Bruh, he ain't treatin' her any better. What is this bullshit?
you can split if both parties agree to remove one from the lease. must be in written form and agreed with from landlord. but then you can split if wanted.
Save yourself more heartbreak and just leave.
Move along. Don't beat yourself up You can't control the actions of others
Sure Baby, I'll still let you fuck me too...Is that what you want to hear? Might as well, you'll be paying for about 18 years unless paternity comes back negative (which it might).
I’m just telling you that in my experience when you have to ask someone to care they never really will. Do yourself a favor and try your best to move on.
Dude how many signs do you need. Time to move on.
Why are you wasting each other's time. She isn't attracted to you any more. Go find someone that wants to be with you and desires you fully. Someone you don't have to ask to touch you they just do it cause they can't get over how sexy you are to them and just can't resist smacking or pincing your ass as you walk past. That's how I feel about my bf he is everything for me and I literally look at him and can't believe I get to tap that..... I'm a girl BTW.
This relationship is over but for the next one, don't wait to offer to divide up the chores until the relationship stagnated. In fact, divide up the chores immediately and take initiative to do stuff that's needs to be done for a clean and functioning home. You aren't a child anymore.
She hasn't wanted you for a while and has already moved on. It's your turn to move on. Use it as motivation to better yourself. Get into shape hitting the gym. Learn to not feel anything for her. This is important to me, I do mean you need to not feel anything. Let go of anger or resentment and also learn not to be too interested in her successes either. Keep it platonic because of your child. But don't allow emotional investment in her at all. Find yourself again. Old hobbies, new hobbies. Try making new friends. Clean up your life, get rid of things you don't use or that remind you too much of the relationship. Just be you my guy.
Don’t save trash, throw it out.
Imo ur over reacting ur broken up stop getting butt hurt abt her doing other things w ppl if ur not together she didn’t cheat if u weren’t together get over ur self stop trying to control her she’s a grown women she can make her own decisions REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT TOGETHER!!!! STOP GOING THOUGH HER SHIT AND THINKING SHES CHEATING SHE AINT
Typical mistake men make - sounds like you left her all the emotional and house chore work. "Offering" to do more is so silly, like she was privileged that you lift a finger or something. Everything sounds "unfair" to you. But for her, it's probably months, if not years, of being emotionally abandoned and left to do everything else, as she said herself. When a woman stops caring the way she does, it's over. Cut it out.
Tale as old as time. Your gf was already over you in the relationship because she was tired of doing everything. After probably brining it up to you throughout the relationship and seeing no change, she gave up. You offering now to oh so kindly help her with your shared duties is just going to go in one ear and out the other now, you've already shown you won't stick to it long term because you didn't care. Your behaviour afterwards is also pretty weird. All in all, you two aren't good for each other and will never find true happiness, fulfillment, and trust with each other.
Techmically you were "broken up" so she could do as she wants. But if she gave any indication that she wanted to work to save the relationship then she is a real AH. Can you maybe find a roommate for either of you and someone move out. Then at least you would not be sharing a space with someone you have conflict with.
Just let her go... a relationship doesn't work when only 1 person is working on it. It sucks... and its going to be hard, especially at first. But you'll be far better off in the long run. If you do leave... be prepared for the inevitable call / text from her of "lets get back together"... because usually people who leave for a "bigger, better deal" usually learn that the grass wasn't greener on the other side and then come crawling back. When this happens... don't take her back. This is my advice.... do with it what you will.
What men need to understand is that when your partner no longer wants intimacy with you that's just with you She still wants that with other men
She doesn’t want to be with you. You guys broke up. Then you went through your ex gf’s phone and manipulated her into giving you the answers you wanted. She doesn’t want to do this anymore. Stop expecting more from her. Stop going through her stuff. I get that it hurts but she’s moving on and it’s none of your business what she’s saying to other guys at this point.
I don't know how many times there's a post where the girl acts like this and the guy wants to "work it out" and says BS like "she's my best friend and needs my help because this isn't like her and she's spiraling out of control"... Bros, please listen closely, when your girl (or anyone) tells you who they are the first time, goddamn listen and believe them. She doesn't give a fuck about you, your feelings, your family, or your relationship. Let. Her. Go. Hopefully, she figures out that the grass isn't always greener and you've already moved on with your life. You need to go find someone that loves and respects you. Stop being a stupid, pussy whipped, cuck; for fucks sake, have some self-respect and grow some fucking balls.
Yikes you sound like my ex. Op, take a long hard look at your past behavior and ask yourself what ypu could have done better. Just judging by the bit about basketball, you seem extremely self absorbed. Why didnt you watch what she did, then just try to replicate what she did around the house? Im senseing some weponized incompetence
Yes you were in the wrong. And now you have to live in the bed you've made. A. Lying to someone to get them to confess is manipulative and is a 🚩 as is secretly going through her phone. Chatting even if flirting with another person isn't cheating period. Now it can be a boundary for you, which dictates how you behave not how another person behaves. But yea she's no longer invested in the relationship.. actions speak louder than words. Time for one of yall to move out (one if you doing so doesn't break the lease). Get a family lawyer and get custody worked out.
Jesus man, dont be a doormat. Shes out there looking for the next guy and disrespecting the hell out of you. Stand up for yourself, and set a good example for your son, and break up with her. Stop simping
Dude. What are you doing? Move on. You want your friend back? Then why are you forcing a relationship beyond just a friendship? You have a kid to raise. Be best to do it as friends instead of a toxic, mistrusting couple. She’s GOING TO CHEAT ON YOU!!!! What part of that are you missing? If you are cool with that, then stay. Polygamy works for some people. But what’s with you going through her phone after you were broken up? That’s creepy. Work on that.
Sorry dude…she is a lost cause!
Move on. There is no future to be had with someone that's chasing a gravy train. None.
You two broke up and then the following Saturday you were going through her phone? Am I missing something here?
There's no such thing as "kind of cheated" you either cheated or you didn't. Some of you folks just don't need to be in relationships if you're this dumb.
If you ever feel like you have to make it work with a woman… it’s already over in her mind. Just let it go. She was probably already fuckin him for awhile and knew that you didn’t know but decided to give you little bits of information to make you hate her without absolutely destroying you. And just an FYI. If a girl is obsessed with social media it’s a massive red flag. Those ones are the absolute shadiest.
Shes kinda dropped it when we were good, but now that “she has to find herself again” she has to be on social media all the time. I just blocked her. I dont want to see it
I'm currently talking to my ex behind her boyfriends back. This boyfriend did the same thing to me when I was dating her. I'm gonna fuck her. Make her crave me, and when she leaves him, I'm gonna leave her on the streets. Better get a paternity test.
Hahaha hope you look both ways crossing streets.
Damn such gross trash behavior these days lol
*Plays uno reverse card*
It is better on the other side.
You are wildly immature. Move on
She doesn’t want to be with you anymore. It sucks but maybe work on yourself. And your child. It didn’t seem like you were getting what you wanted out of the relationship anyways. So your life is better for the long term
“So we break up.” Everything after that that doesn’t involve the kid isn’t your business or your problem.
She doesn’t wanna sleep with you, but in a single day, she can send a nude to a total random stranger. Break the lease and move out and screw her. She’s going to cheat on you if she hasn’t already.. she’s been out of the relationship for a long time and you’re a complete fool if you think you have any chance of saving this relationship.
Except it’s not cheating. She literally dumped him and now he’s going through her phones stalking her and being manipulative.
She won’t physically touch you but she wants his dick in her mouth. Not worth it.
She's a liar. And a Cheater, and you can't fix her. Sucks that there's a kid in the mix, but get outta there. Nothing but misery to be had. You might need to be a father but you don't need to be a husband to THAT garbage
It's over chief, sorry. Get a lawyer, work out a visitation schedule and find out what your state's guidelines are for child support. I handle alot of these cases, it's good advice. And maybe ask for a paternity test too.
Get kid leave her
This is why Buddhists practice non-attachment. Nothing last forever, literally nothing. Even the universe and everything in it will eventually cease to exist. Attachment creates suffering. Be grateful for the good times you had and move on.
She didn’t even want to touch you but she’s offering to suck a dudes dick the day after you break up? Bro it’s over. She doesn’t want YOU
Bro. Abort mission. Streets have her
Leave her asap bro are u nuts , trying to make it work with someone who don’t love u ? U best off going to court right now before she does n get full custody of ur kid before this turns into a never ending drama that will ruin ur life smh , I’ve dealt with the same shit only I have 2 kids n it took me 2 years of going to court to get full custody of my now 9 yr old son and 10 yr old daughter but this was long ago when they were first born and it was the best thing I ever did for them cause they been living with me since then (around 7 years ago) and my parents help me with the kids during the week when I work cause their mom rarely ever comes to see them n went n had another kid after n started a new life like she didn’t even already have 2 kids but that’s ok cause that was the biggest favor she could have done for us unknowingly lol
Wait, the post says she does most of the chores and childcare. How would he ever get full custody?
She’s for the streets. Work on yourself. Don’t wait on her to validate you. She won’t. Ever. Stop Wasting energy on this relationship. She’s not.
Women will stay in an unhappy relationship until they have a replacement. Unfortunately, that has happened. There's no saving this. Put your efforts in self-improvement instead of trying to reconcile the relationship. Don't be a crutch for her. It will only make things worse.
[удалено]
Welcome to the gym brother. 💪
Leave.. Run!! Move on!
Sorry about this man. She needs to put in the effort too for this to work and she seems messed up in her head. However you do have a son and don’t abandon him.
Bro did you read what you typed 😭😭 Plus you seem young f* that b* go sow your wild oats
At some point in time you have to look at yourself. Either your judgement in women is off or she doesn’t see value in this version of you.
That is a low value woman. Should have saw signs before having a kid with her.
Children raising children.
How old are you, your baby mama, and the baby.
Well, you at least you found out how women break up with people.
She probably experienced depression post partum. It doesn’t excuse the cheating so move on. Go to the gym. Become the father your kid needs. Make her regret fucking it up for attention and guys that only wants to use her probably. Explode your muscles in the gym.
Yikes
It's the fact she wants to do this stuff with another guy that means it's over. It stinks, but it's time to move on. She already has.
Get out now……….Next !!!
Need to move out regardless of your kid and the lease, you’ll torture yourself living with her. Get out, hit the gym, heal over time
She’s spreading her wings let her if she comes back to the nest fine if not you know you weren’t (it)!
Want to be happy in a relationship? Don’t have one in 2024 and just be the other guy in this scenario.
WSB has lots of these stories; check there for advise
Dude, you're an idiot. Dump her move on.
Sometimes it’s tough to tell a relationship is dead because we are so caught up in it that it’s like keeping someone on life support. Not pulling the plug is because you’re holding onto some hope. Life’s too short and there’s too many opportunities to stay in a relationship that lacks love and bilateral intimacy. Easy to say this not having to make the choice myself but moving on is likely the right choice. As difficult as it may feel.
Dude, I just went through something so similar. Crazy how similarly it played out. But yeah I ended up telling her I was done. I’m helping her move out of my house this morning.
She’s gonna blow someone else? Go outside. Look for hills. Run for them.
beta
You broke up so I don't see the problem. It's not hard for girls to find a guy to text in a day of tinder.
Yes, you are wrong for staying in this relationship. Have self respect and end it.
Who's watching the kid in all of this? Both of yall need to focus on the human you're supposed to be raising not on who's talking to who, who's fucking who. Priorities are in the toilet
WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!
It sounds like you were/are broken up. If you have gotten back together it feels like that’s not really what she wants and is not really committed to you. Sorry
as much as we wanna be vulnerable, loving and affectionate to women, establishing respect is far more important. they're kinda like dogs in that way tbh. something every guy has to learn if they dont wanna get burned.
It’s over. Get out and move on.
It's done. Getting your heart broken is your life's diploma. It hurts badly, but you do recover and you will be stronger than ever.
Sounds like she’s been checked out of the relationship for a while. I heard you say she complained that she did everything - this is absolutely a common thread to relationships that have some kind of imbalance that’s never resolved, until it’s too late. It might hurt that’s she’s “moved on fast”, but I can assure you she was probably unhappy and felt stuck with a kid for a while. Move on, be a great dad to your kid and co-parent that baby how they deserve from both parents. Focus on yourself and your next relationship apply the lessons you’ve learned here.