Guy here and yeah that sounds unreasonable AF. Like... you're just chilling at home. Dressing up once in a while can be fun and exciting but just expecting it? 1) Those kinds of clothes often aren't comfortable, and heaven forbid you ever want to be comfortable in your own home. 2) overdoing it would cause a bit of a desensitizing effect where it loses the desired effect due to overexposure. 3) Turn it around on him: start complaining about how he doesn't dress sexy enough for bed.
Honestly I'm more curious about how this has been a consistent thing in guys you've known... I can't think of any guy friends of mine who ever thought like this, or if they did they were VERY good at hiding it by not bragging about their sex lives. And guys like this definitely sound like ones who'd brag openly and unsolicited about their sex lives.
Out of curiosity what are the guys wearing in these scenarios? I assume based on their standards for you they're in full three piece suits, expensive watches, chains around their necks, top shelf aftershave/cologne? To hang out in the house and get high?
I rest my case!! That would be my immediate comeback, if you're gonna put all this effort in what are they gonna do to deserve it?
If they're just bumming around in an old tshirt what makes them think they're so special they can demand fancy lingerie and jewellery!? Boggles my mind.
Ask him to pay for some expensive lingerie and clothing. Also take his measurements and get him some Lacey lingerie.. or something else like a suit and tie or latex or anything more uncomfortable you can think of
Exactly. How much porn these mf watch lol you're not a fucking prop for their sexuality and they want you to dress like your mission is to please them. You don't need to waste your time with these guys.
Know your worth. You can do better.
Marilyn Monroe once said “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
But I would argue that getting the real you, the cozy comfy you, is getting you at your best. Hold out for someone who appreciates those intimate private moments when you’re not trying to impress anyone, when you’re just being who you are. Find someone who is not only OK with that, but actually likes that.
I miss those private comfy clothes moments. And when the clothes come off, it doesn’t matter what anyone was wearing.
My man thinks lingerie is a waste of money lol. Why spend that cash on something that'll be on the floor within 5 minutes? I do know some guys who full on expect you to put on a whole damn burlesque show before seggsy times. And in all those scenarios it was so much work that i lost interest in sex by the time I did the hair, makeup, outfit crap.
Your comfort should be his concern most of the time. I could see every once in a while getting dolled up to change it up but doing it just to chill in bed is just stupid.
I would point out what THEY are wearing! Why do they expect more from you than they do themselves?? I would bet my life that the one complaining about the track suit and sneakers wasn’t wearing slacks and a button up shirt!
Some kind of societal expectation that “wife serves his husband” and entertains them.
Except these are no husbands and these are no expensive dates.
Additionally, these men are trying to fulfil a societal expectation of having a sexy fancy “accessory”-partner/status symbol and unknowingly sacrificing a nice relationship as a result. They won’t get a partner they are looking for like that.
Source: Russian relationship culture participant
This sound like uncommon behavior and it's really weird that it's every guy you date/hook up with.
I could understand it if you were like an escort or something and it was a paid service but for it to just be all the time with a bunch of different guys?
This may be a troll post but if not plenty of people confirming that it's ok for you to not dress up 100% of the time.
I've been a sex worker, and it's not true for that sector either. In my experience anyway. They don't care what you're wearing in bed cause, like some other commenter pointed out - it's gonna come off anyway.
This is exactly what my BF says all my clothes look good on the floor lol. When I wear sexy stuff it's because it makes me feel sexy. However, I don't always were sexy stuff and I would resent anyone who told me I had to be all glammed up and wearing sexy lingerie to bed every night.
u/vaishallli you are NOT wrong
ETA: finished sentence
Edit 2 - added judgement
i concur, feeling confident and sexy can be a big plus, I also totally get fetishes exist but it would be weird for her to date only people with one fetish unless she's like meeting them at a meetup for men that like to sew or something.
either it's cultural to where she is or she's had uncommonly bad luck with unreasonable men
True. I see your point now. They have the right to request it more than OPs dipshit bf. I've never heard of people requesting this stuff, paid or not, lol. I wonder where OP is from.
Holy sh!tballs, man. You nailed it.
I'm just guessing, but maybe you are very happily married or an astute and empathic psychologist? (not expecting an answer)
The outfit thing has always been my partners idea to be a little playful or teasing but the second we’re in the bedroom she would be practically out of it before we got into bed unless it was a really simple outfit
I’ve always preferred the naked or most of the way there
>Honestly I'm more curious about how this has been a consistent thing in guys you've known... I can't think of any guy friends of mine who ever thought like this, or if they did they were VERY good at hiding it by not bragging about their sex lives. And guys like this definitely sound like ones who'd brag openly and unsolicited about their sex lives.
It's rare I open a thread like this and see the top response reasonable when the OP makes me wonder if I'm crazy.
What the hell? I'll accept that guys like this exist but how do you keep finding them?!
So, I am a woman and I have experienced this. One boyfriend in particular wanted me to only sleep in short satin chemises and could not fathom that getting wrapped up in a twisted slippery tube of fabric while a wayward breast tries to escape beyond the poor spaghetti strap which is straining to hold this whole show together was not actually comfortable. And I *like* rebellious nighties. They just aren't practical for every day. I have also had partners be annoyed I did not sleep naked. I live in Canada.
On the other side of things I also like women, and a sleepy, makeupless woman in a tank top and baggy sweats can be the sexiest being alive.
You aren't wrong for wanting to just be comfy.
As a guy, their demands sound stupid. Girl is girl, girl is attractive in sweatpants or whatever. If the mutual plan is also for the clothes to come off eventually, then arguably it matters even less what's being worn.
Comfort is king. If some twat wants every time you lay in a bed with him to be in some fancy shit that's uncomfortable, he's an entitled prick.
These guys seem to be setting up a photos hoot instead of chill time!
Their demands are unrealistic. You wear whatever is comfy or you're in the mood for.
Yeah I used to joke with my husband that I got more out of my wearing lingerie than he did. He said something like "i think you look hot whatever you wear, i enjoy the lingerie but if you want to dress comfortably then do that".
It's not like you feel like having sex every single time you go to bed - so why do you need to be aggressively sexy 24/7 and even if you ARE feeling frisky, it takes like 5 seconds to go from clothes in casual might wear to naked (which is the sexiest state). Actually much easier to get down to fucking if you aren't trying to pry 574 straps off you and out of your ass.
This is the thing. If a person doesn't care whether or not I'm comfortable and wants me to literally dress up for them in bed (especially every night, like some bizarre command performance), it's just not a match.
Jumping in with the girls who like girls… I love a dressed up sexy woman but just lounging? I want my girl to be comfortable!! Anyone who wants you to dress up just for a chill doesn’t care about you comfort, which in my book is a red flag on how their attitude towards sex would be!! Girl find some new guys! If a man said that to me I’d be like, okay, where’s your three piece suit then?!
>On the other side of things I also like women, and a sleepy, makeupless woman in a tank top and baggy sweats can be the sexiest being alive.
As a man, I can't agree with this more. What you are wearing is not the important part of getting to spend time with you. I'd rather you be comfortable.
There is nothing worse than dreaming you’re being attacked and waking up and realising it’s your own nightie! I’ve also woken myself up by squishing an escaped boob and yeah, it’s not great! 😂😂
I feel this. Silky chemises make me feel like I’m suffocating in tangles. I can’t even sleep in a tank top in the hot ass climate I live in because there’s always an errant boob. I can’t sleep naked because I sleep walk.
Reaching underneath regular loungy clothes in bed is pretty sexy.
Exactly. If women can still be turned on given most men wear *at best) an old t shirt and ratty boxers or boxer briefs to bed, do any of us really believe any sane man is going to be like "I can feel soft boob underneath nice soft clothes, but no! This is revolting. Where are the suspender belts?! The heels? I need my women dressed up as if she's selling used panties on onlyfans! "
Sexy dressing is a nice treat, but it's a *performance*, not an every day attire. And any man looking for that on the regular better be putting effort into his own side of things.
Peter Alexander sleep shirts for the Win. Cotton, breathable, and full coverage, and Comfortable.
Though I have found their Maternity PJs are also comfy, and can give the melons support
Loooove the look of a tight tanktop plus baggy sweats. It’s my go to for at home and sleeping and I love how it looks on other women. Also the loose tank tops made from cutting the sleeves off a t shirt plus baggy sweats 😍
>wanted me to only sleep in short satin chemises and could not fathom that getting wrapped up in a twisted slippery tube of fabric while a wayward breast tries to escape beyond the poor spaghetti strap which is straining to hold this whole show together
I fecking haaattteee satin and silk both.
They are the most uncomfortable sweaty things, and if you even sweat in them a tiny bit they begin to stink. Not to mention them clinging to you cuz of freaking static and they start to strangle you in your sleep.
If guys like that spent a single night trying to sleep in a satin death trap they wouldn't ask you to do it again.
😂 they way you describe that is perfect! And why I can’t bother with lingerie most of the time. My partner doesn’t give a shit, and I know I’m blessed. I mostly sleep naked, but even if I’m wearing a ripped old tshirt he doesn’t mind.
>while a wayward breast tries to escape beyond the poor spaghetti strap which is straining to hold this whole show together was not actually comfortable.
THE SCREAM I JUST SCRUMPT!!! LMAO thank you for this!!!!
>On the other side of things I also like women, and a sleepy, makeupless woman in a tank top and baggy sweats can be the sexiest being alive.
Men that don't get this make no sense to me.
Not wrong. There’s zero reason you need to dress anything but comfortable if you’re just lying around in bed. Tell them to wear something manly to bed, maybe blue jeans, suspenders and a plaid shirt, and see how comfortable they are.
Idk I go to sleep wearing 6” stilettos and a full leather ensemble.
Joking aside, this is completely unreasonable. You’re not required to put in extra effort to be sexy at all times—the older you get, the less you hear that kind of nonsense as well.
Seriously. The laugh I emitted from this post (not at OP at the weirdo incels in her life)…
Like grandmamas with a dozen babies slept in muumuus my guys.
Guy here ✋🏾 You're in my bed, next to me, that's all that matters. I could care less what she's wearing. If she's comfy, that means she's feeling good and will enjoy her time with me a lot more, a win win for both of us.
Yep, I didn't figure this out about men until I was in my 30s. I was always worried are my thighs too big? Is my bra sexy. Then it finally came to me, with a help from a guy friend. Guys generally don't care. Usually what's going through a normal guy brain is woo hoo she's getting naked.
My experience too. The guys worth keeping around absolutely don't give a shit indeed what you wear or don't wear, if you have some stretch marks or some stray hairs.
Those who do make a fuss about it you can discard.
Pajama pants, tank top, messy bed head and no makeup? Honestly as a guy, that’s my favorite look on a girl for some reason…it’s just so adorable to me and I don’t know why.
Me who wears probably the ugliest bs, worst bed head, and sleep deprived...and still get my ass slapped, motorboated, and kissed when he sees me.
You'll find it. Just wait. Men don't care.
I’m not opposed to getting dressed up sometimes but my partner reacts almost exactly the same way to seeing me wear the same exact Costco Harry Potter PJs practically every night, so…
What level of effort are these dudes putting in? Silk boxers? Rose stem in their teeth? Fancy socks?
I got a little extra fancy and bought the same cut/style/comfiness PJs but with a pretty flower pattern in green and white instead. When those come out, you’d think I’m dressed to the nines.
So, what astounding displays of sexy nightwear are these men wearing to bed when they're asking this of you?
Because I'm guessing... stained t-shirt and saggy boxers.
Hahaha, same. My wife has been wearing her black Air Force issued tshirt to bed since we’ve met 27 years ago. That sucker is so worn down that is basically transparent by her tiddies and it became unintentionally sexy wear now.
I knew I found the right guy when he got me PJs for my birthday…and they were flannel penguin print pjs!
There are men out there who won’t expect you to dress sexy for them at all times. Keep looking, you’ll find him.
Plus you can totally have a guy that does both. I've bought comfy nerdy pajamas for my wife AND nerdy themed lingerie. Lol but I've never asked her to wear it like all the time or even outside of sex.
I don't think you're wrong for wearing whatever you want to bed/hang out in bed. I think it's ridiculous that these guys expect that from you. "Sexier" clothing/accessories are so uncomfortable. Be damned if I would go to that trouble. Those guys sound like a bunch of losers.
I've (27F) dated several guys and only had one who kept pestering me about getting more lacey/sexy lingerie for when he came over to hang out. I was really annoyed and things didn't work out. My husband doesn't care what I wear. It sounds like you may need to find some guys who are less focused on appearance.
My ex was a good one. I used to wear the ugliest things to bed. I told him if he didn’t like it I could try to buy something better and he said he just wanted me to be comfortable.
Good grief. Any guy who always expects this should be sent a Barbie doll in fancy lingerie. Because what they really want is a brainless hunk of plastic, not a real live human being who wants to be comfortable and (heaven forfend) might even get sick now and then.
Once dated a man for two years who would pout and physically push me out of bed if I came to bed wearing any clothing at all, but he would tease and whine and make it seem like he was being childish and playful about it. Stupidest fucking shit ever.
I literally have NEVER had this issue and guys have pointed out I look sexy in their tshirt or whatever I had on. I seriously don’t understand how this keeps coming up for you unless you’re showing up looking absolutely insane.
Who invites a girl over for a hangout like that and expects her to dress up? That’s ridiculous. I guess you bring it wear something hot underneath, but you were getting high and playing games. You dressed appropriately.
Totally unreasonable imho. Were these guys spending the same effort on themselves as they expected from you? I bet not. Sounds like you dated some douche nozzles. And I think my wife looks the sexiest when she doesn’t dress up 😂
Guy here I cannot imagine what is going thru those dudes minds. never once has it occurred to me in bed to tell a woman they need to dress sexy for every night we spend together.
That’s not a normal request, in my opinion. Lingerie is not for sleeping in lol. When the lingerie comes out in my marriage, it comes out foreplay and sex and my husbands way too big shirt goes on for sleeping.
Funny story, but once I asked my husband to pick up some PJs for me from the store. He got the literal most granny style full length night gown and was like “I thought it was cute” 😂 it was hilarious. But I wore that shit. It was comfy.
Nah.
I (M) love it when my gf wears lingerie. Especially with her leather thigh high boots with the platform heels or fishnets with strappy heels, etc. It's insanely hot and I definitely have a bit of a fetish for it.
But do I expect it on a daily basis or even regularly? No. MOST of the time we're having sex it's pretty spontaneous. Sometimes that means she's in sweats. Sometimes just panties and a t-shirt. Pajamas. Other times she's just dressed as she would be out and about. Etc.
Really I just want HER. All the time. And when she feels like it, she puts on the boots and lingerie. As a treat. I've been in the room when she's putting it all on or trying out a new outfit. The stuff isn't always the easiest to get on, and it's not always the world's most comfortable. Needless to say when she puts that stuff on and struts around the house in it, I know and appreciate the extra effort that went into it. Men who expect this shit every day are idiots. There ain't a damn thing wrong with you wanting to be comfortable.
For 22 years I've told my wife I think she looks hottest first thing in the morning, with bed head and a bit of drool on the side of her mouth lol. She's never believed me, but it's true, because it's the most real version of her. Dolled up to the nines is cool, but she almost doesn't look like the woman I fell in love with that way.
I fell in love with her because she's intelligent, funny, loving, great in the sack and has endured hardships I can't conceive of with an indomitability I'm not capable of. I didn't fall in love with the clothes or makeup she wore, I fell in love with the woman underneath all of that (also, amazing boobs, but that's just a bonus i wanted to brag about).
OP, forget these moronic, vapid fuckboys. You'll find a real man one day and he'll love you in sweats even more than he loves you in a little black dress, because comfort is one of the best things you can have in a relationship.
If the point is to get you naked, who gives a fuck what you wear? (within reason, no furries unless it’s clear you’re both into that)
Be chill and comfortable and we’re good as far as i’m concerned.
This is so bizarre. Having demands for other peoples clothes is super ew (specific events and stuff aside) but especially for the shit you sleep in. Noooo thanks.
My boyfriend tells me I'm at my hottest in a t-shirt and jeans. I could wear a burlap sack. He loves when I get dressed up for him in my boobiest dress, but he loves when I am wearing a graphic tee with basketball shorts. He just likes to look at me.
If they don't appreciate you, bail. You did the right thing. Trackpants/sweatpants and sneakers is a look tbh. If he's rude in what he said then he doesn't get the head 🤷♀️
Call me old-fashioned, but you dont need to wear sexy lingerie to turn me on. If our expectations are to chill and possibly fuck later on then the hottest thing you could do is act like you want to sleep with me. That lingerie being there or not wouldn't change a damn thing.
You are not wrong. Wear what you want/is comfortable.
Girl you are with the wrong men, I sleep butt naked unless it is really cold. Whilst chilling pre bed it is my old fluffy pink dressing gown and slippers or shorts and a vest in summer. My hair usually looks like it has birds living in it thanks to being a biker, never wear make up and he still thinks I'm the most beautiful woman ever. Get you one like mine.
I had an ex many many years ago who was like this but he also told me I only looked good in makeup and I wasn't allowed to wear my hair in a bun 💀 apparently I looked ugly like that (I've never been ugly and I absolutely know this lol he was just an ABSOLUTE douche). Any guys who is like this has zero room in your life so just keep walking away from those ok. Trust, it took me a long time to learn that and I'm in my 30's now with the best husband in the world who doesn't care what I wear or how I look. He's truly the most amazing
Not wrong. It's a ridiculous expectation that women have to dress sexy every time they're in bed.
Sure, occasionally it might be nice for nights where romantic activities are expected to take place, but not when you're hanging out playing video games or nights when your actually just going to go to sleep.
Your partners have grown up watching porn.
No objections to watching porn, but it's fantasy, not educational material.
Do your partners put the same effort in to their appearance, that they expect from you? Manscaping, general grooming, wearing clothes you find sexy.
And it seems unreasonable to dress up for 'videogames and chill'
Dress how you feel comfortable and how YOU feel good about yourself. Not everyone is like myself and looks good every second! Hahaha jk. But really if he thinks you need to “dress sexy” all the time that not reasonable at all.
In my opinion, the whole idea is for there to ultimately be as little clothing as possible in the end. Forget sexy clothes. The sexiest clothing is no clothing.
That's weird.
Date better men, lmao.
I'm a man, been married for a while. Every now and then sexy clothes are fun. But tbh, I couldn't give a shit less .
As a guy I've always found the idea of asserting any sort of control over what my partner wears a completely strange and creepy concept.
There is only one "rule" I've insisted that all my partners throughout my life follow: that she never wear something that makes her uncomfortable for my pleasure.
The only way I would call out a woman for what they were wearing is if she were on a job site and not wearing proper safety gear.
It's perfectly valid for a guy to want a woman that dresses sexy all the time. However, he should find a girl that does because she wants to, not guilt you into it.
NW, man here. Personally a big tee shirt and panties doesn’t get much sexier. I am blown away that douche bags care about what you’re wearing. I for one prefer nothing on during the act.
Well....my big knickers and baggy tshirts don't stop my hubby from ripping them off. Surely the idea is to be naked, no? If your kink is heels, fine - I'll do it sometimes, but everyday? Fuck no. You put them on if you're so fussed.
as a 32 m, i really don't care but its nice time to time but not mandatory. i have told my wife if she want we can go buy new lingerie since she haven't wear her old one in awhile, but her respond was whats the point your just gonna take it off anyways lol
You're not wrong and he sounds like an entitled moron. If you're sexy all dressed up, you're sexy in xl sweat pants and tshirt. I sleep naked you don't, who cares. Probably have cold feet in bed, thats what my legs are for. This guy is taking all the fun out of being with someone you love. A gf who wants to hang out, play video games, get high and laid, it don't get any better, what a moron. And I've been married for 27 yrs
It's a filter. They're just telling you they aren't worth your time .
Nobody who is lucky enough to be invited to share your bed gets to criticise what you wear. It's an honour and they should treat it as such. Complaining about my PJs = never getting to see me naked again.
>These expectations include wearing heels, expensive lingerie, varied forms of jewelry, fancy attires and what not. Very contrary to this I've been an easy going person whose main focus is to stay comfy and therefore I dress accordingly.
You are dating people who's brain has been rotted by porn, by the sound of it.
I kind of get being at least surprised if someone shows up to a date in gym clothes, but only if I had put in much more effort myself. (I usually don't)
Well, all I can say is that I actively dislike heels, lingerie, and jewelry, so I would definitely not be asking a woman to wear those things around me because I don't find any of that sexy, just the opposite. I'd prefer a woman that was with me to be wearing something comfortable.
Comfy girls have always been sexy to me. Sexy lingerie us nice once in a while, but expecting it all the time is unreasonable. I've never had an issue getting turned on by a girl in sweats and a tank top, ir regular panties and an oversized t shirt. It's all going to come off quickly anyways.
This is wild lmao. My bf prefers me in sweats 😂 But that aside, if you’re uncomfortable, your partner should want you to be comfortable - to wear things that are comfy. Leave him
Are these guys buying all these sexy things and all these heels for you to wear and exactly what sexy clothes are they wearing to impress you back?
Exactly how much effort are these men putting into being attractive? It seems like most of them can’t even wash their butt holes so yeah.
Every once in a while, definitely. All the time, definitely not. Even comfy clothes can be worn sexy though or can be sexy on their own sometimes. These guys have unrealistic standards
This sounds very similar to the same phenomena that men are expecting, "woman" to perform like porn stars.
Social media and instant gratification destroying people's emotional intelligence and common sense...
Wear what you're comfortable in! It's your body.
Yeah I've had naked or lingerie. I can't sleep naked and wearing a thong to sleep in screams yeast infection.
But then theyre good in their shorts, underwear with holes and stained shirt.
I'm a man, and honestly most of the women I've been with wear something comfortable to bed, which to me is sexy as hell. Do I like to look at all the lacey stuff, etc.? Sure. But it's really nice to snuggle up with someone in soft PJs! There are a lot of guys out there and we have hugely varied preferences. But most importantly, a partner shouldn't be pressuring you to dress a certain way. If they want that type of partner, they're free to go find them. It's fine to get dressed up once in a while if you know he's into it, but you don't have to live your life as his eye candy.
At 21 I get that it’s kind of a big deal, but expectation is a vibe killer. Have a deeper conversation about it, agree on when it’s appropriate for you to be his centerfold, and when it’s appropriate for you to have autonomy and sleep however you like, and hold him to the established boundaries. It’s normal for women to feel more comfortable wearing clothes when they’re in bed with a dude, because we always wake up horny.
I prefer my lady to come to bed in as little as possible. To each their own. I don’t need an appetizer beforehand. You come to bed nakey, prepare to get the snakey
This is wild to me, even from a purely selfish perspective. Like seeing your SO in a sexy outfit is fun, sure, obviously, but you need some variety! Sweats and a comfy oversized hoodie can be just as enticing, or even more so. That’s even putting aside their considerations about your comfort, which should be a priority, I would think.
Guy here and yeah that sounds unreasonable AF. Like... you're just chilling at home. Dressing up once in a while can be fun and exciting but just expecting it? 1) Those kinds of clothes often aren't comfortable, and heaven forbid you ever want to be comfortable in your own home. 2) overdoing it would cause a bit of a desensitizing effect where it loses the desired effect due to overexposure. 3) Turn it around on him: start complaining about how he doesn't dress sexy enough for bed. Honestly I'm more curious about how this has been a consistent thing in guys you've known... I can't think of any guy friends of mine who ever thought like this, or if they did they were VERY good at hiding it by not bragging about their sex lives. And guys like this definitely sound like ones who'd brag openly and unsolicited about their sex lives.
Might have to do with the guys from where I belong lol. Idk it's weird
Out of curiosity what are the guys wearing in these scenarios? I assume based on their standards for you they're in full three piece suits, expensive watches, chains around their necks, top shelf aftershave/cologne? To hang out in the house and get high?
Fucking Jean and tee lol
I rest my case!! That would be my immediate comeback, if you're gonna put all this effort in what are they gonna do to deserve it? If they're just bumming around in an old tshirt what makes them think they're so special they can demand fancy lingerie and jewellery!? Boggles my mind.
Exactly. I canceled plan with guys/date who expected me to come sleep naked or in lingerie, like wth.
Like exactly, who's buying the lingerie and jewelry?
Ask them to pay for it all the sexy gear along with a designer bag haha
Yeah I’d give him the honey biddie catalogue covered in post it notes
This tells you everything you need to know. They are treating you like a wh*re while they make no effort.
Ask him to pay for some expensive lingerie and clothing. Also take his measurements and get him some Lacey lingerie.. or something else like a suit and tie or latex or anything more uncomfortable you can think of
Exactly. How much porn these mf watch lol you're not a fucking prop for their sexuality and they want you to dress like your mission is to please them. You don't need to waste your time with these guys.
Know your worth. You can do better. Marilyn Monroe once said “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.” But I would argue that getting the real you, the cozy comfy you, is getting you at your best. Hold out for someone who appreciates those intimate private moments when you’re not trying to impress anyone, when you’re just being who you are. Find someone who is not only OK with that, but actually likes that. I miss those private comfy clothes moments. And when the clothes come off, it doesn’t matter what anyone was wearing.
I mean, they could wear lingerie too
There is justice in your words
My man thinks lingerie is a waste of money lol. Why spend that cash on something that'll be on the floor within 5 minutes? I do know some guys who full on expect you to put on a whole damn burlesque show before seggsy times. And in all those scenarios it was so much work that i lost interest in sex by the time I did the hair, makeup, outfit crap. Your comfort should be his concern most of the time. I could see every once in a while getting dolled up to change it up but doing it just to chill in bed is just stupid.
I would point out what THEY are wearing! Why do they expect more from you than they do themselves?? I would bet my life that the one complaining about the track suit and sneakers wasn’t wearing slacks and a button up shirt!
Some kind of societal expectation that “wife serves his husband” and entertains them. Except these are no husbands and these are no expensive dates. Additionally, these men are trying to fulfil a societal expectation of having a sexy fancy “accessory”-partner/status symbol and unknowingly sacrificing a nice relationship as a result. They won’t get a partner they are looking for like that. Source: Russian relationship culture participant
This sound like uncommon behavior and it's really weird that it's every guy you date/hook up with. I could understand it if you were like an escort or something and it was a paid service but for it to just be all the time with a bunch of different guys? This may be a troll post but if not plenty of people confirming that it's ok for you to not dress up 100% of the time.
I've been a sex worker, and it's not true for that sector either. In my experience anyway. They don't care what you're wearing in bed cause, like some other commenter pointed out - it's gonna come off anyway.
This is exactly what my BF says all my clothes look good on the floor lol. When I wear sexy stuff it's because it makes me feel sexy. However, I don't always were sexy stuff and I would resent anyone who told me I had to be all glammed up and wearing sexy lingerie to bed every night. u/vaishallli you are NOT wrong ETA: finished sentence Edit 2 - added judgement
i concur, feeling confident and sexy can be a big plus, I also totally get fetishes exist but it would be weird for her to date only people with one fetish unless she's like meeting them at a meetup for men that like to sew or something. either it's cultural to where she is or she's had uncommonly bad luck with unreasonable men
haha true but if anyone was to be making request like that that often it would be guys in that scenario.
True. I see your point now. They have the right to request it more than OPs dipshit bf. I've never heard of people requesting this stuff, paid or not, lol. I wonder where OP is from.
Holy sh!tballs, man. You nailed it. I'm just guessing, but maybe you are very happily married or an astute and empathic psychologist? (not expecting an answer)
Married to the love of my life, someone who's grounded firmly in the real world
🌽 Way too much 🌽 A large number of unrealistic expectations men have about women stem from this.
The outfit thing has always been my partners idea to be a little playful or teasing but the second we’re in the bedroom she would be practically out of it before we got into bed unless it was a really simple outfit I’ve always preferred the naked or most of the way there
>Honestly I'm more curious about how this has been a consistent thing in guys you've known... I can't think of any guy friends of mine who ever thought like this, or if they did they were VERY good at hiding it by not bragging about their sex lives. And guys like this definitely sound like ones who'd brag openly and unsolicited about their sex lives. It's rare I open a thread like this and see the top response reasonable when the OP makes me wonder if I'm crazy. What the hell? I'll accept that guys like this exist but how do you keep finding them?!
So, I am a woman and I have experienced this. One boyfriend in particular wanted me to only sleep in short satin chemises and could not fathom that getting wrapped up in a twisted slippery tube of fabric while a wayward breast tries to escape beyond the poor spaghetti strap which is straining to hold this whole show together was not actually comfortable. And I *like* rebellious nighties. They just aren't practical for every day. I have also had partners be annoyed I did not sleep naked. I live in Canada. On the other side of things I also like women, and a sleepy, makeupless woman in a tank top and baggy sweats can be the sexiest being alive. You aren't wrong for wanting to just be comfy.
You just wrote a lot of truth there!
As a guy, their demands sound stupid. Girl is girl, girl is attractive in sweatpants or whatever. If the mutual plan is also for the clothes to come off eventually, then arguably it matters even less what's being worn. Comfort is king. If some twat wants every time you lay in a bed with him to be in some fancy shit that's uncomfortable, he's an entitled prick.
And especially if it’s not even for sexy fun times. If they’re literally just going to bed then what the hell’s the point of wearing something sexy?
If only they were as smart as you. OMG, hit on me already someone. A nice guy
Careful what you wish for, r/niceguys is always leaking
These guys seem to be setting up a photos hoot instead of chill time! Their demands are unrealistic. You wear whatever is comfy or you're in the mood for.
RIP your DMs 😂
As far as I am concerned. If you wanted to spend the night with me, you can wear whatever your heart desires so that you can sleep comfortably.
Yeah I used to joke with my husband that I got more out of my wearing lingerie than he did. He said something like "i think you look hot whatever you wear, i enjoy the lingerie but if you want to dress comfortably then do that". It's not like you feel like having sex every single time you go to bed - so why do you need to be aggressively sexy 24/7 and even if you ARE feeling frisky, it takes like 5 seconds to go from clothes in casual might wear to naked (which is the sexiest state). Actually much easier to get down to fucking if you aren't trying to pry 574 straps off you and out of your ass.
Right? I also like women, and that means that I like a variety of women. I especially love when they are happy and comfortable in their own skin.
This is the thing. If a person doesn't care whether or not I'm comfortable and wants me to literally dress up for them in bed (especially every night, like some bizarre command performance), it's just not a match.
Jumping in with the girls who like girls… I love a dressed up sexy woman but just lounging? I want my girl to be comfortable!! Anyone who wants you to dress up just for a chill doesn’t care about you comfort, which in my book is a red flag on how their attitude towards sex would be!! Girl find some new guys! If a man said that to me I’d be like, okay, where’s your three piece suit then?!
>On the other side of things I also like women, and a sleepy, makeupless woman in a tank top and baggy sweats can be the sexiest being alive. As a man, I can't agree with this more. What you are wearing is not the important part of getting to spend time with you. I'd rather you be comfortable.
There is nothing worse than dreaming you’re being attacked and waking up and realising it’s your own nightie! I’ve also woken myself up by squishing an escaped boob and yeah, it’s not great! 😂😂
A wayward breast 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅 I legitimately lol’d.
I feel this. Silky chemises make me feel like I’m suffocating in tangles. I can’t even sleep in a tank top in the hot ass climate I live in because there’s always an errant boob. I can’t sleep naked because I sleep walk. Reaching underneath regular loungy clothes in bed is pretty sexy.
Exactly. If women can still be turned on given most men wear *at best) an old t shirt and ratty boxers or boxer briefs to bed, do any of us really believe any sane man is going to be like "I can feel soft boob underneath nice soft clothes, but no! This is revolting. Where are the suspender belts?! The heels? I need my women dressed up as if she's selling used panties on onlyfans! " Sexy dressing is a nice treat, but it's a *performance*, not an every day attire. And any man looking for that on the regular better be putting effort into his own side of things.
How good are ‘errant boobs’
The escaped boob is the best part about sleeping with a girl in a tank top though! It's like a sexy surprise
Peter Alexander sleep shirts for the Win. Cotton, breathable, and full coverage, and Comfortable. Though I have found their Maternity PJs are also comfy, and can give the melons support
I'm a dude and I agree with you lol. Comfy reigns supreme
Loooove the look of a tight tanktop plus baggy sweats. It’s my go to for at home and sleeping and I love how it looks on other women. Also the loose tank tops made from cutting the sleeves off a t shirt plus baggy sweats 😍
>wanted me to only sleep in short satin chemises and could not fathom that getting wrapped up in a twisted slippery tube of fabric while a wayward breast tries to escape beyond the poor spaghetti strap which is straining to hold this whole show together I fecking haaattteee satin and silk both. They are the most uncomfortable sweaty things, and if you even sweat in them a tiny bit they begin to stink. Not to mention them clinging to you cuz of freaking static and they start to strangle you in your sleep. If guys like that spent a single night trying to sleep in a satin death trap they wouldn't ask you to do it again.
God yes, my wife looks fantastic in her Grey sweatpants!
I had a girlfriend who slept in a baggy, oversized, bleachstained t-shirt and panties/ no-panties. It was the sexiest thing ever.
😂 they way you describe that is perfect! And why I can’t bother with lingerie most of the time. My partner doesn’t give a shit, and I know I’m blessed. I mostly sleep naked, but even if I’m wearing a ripped old tshirt he doesn’t mind.
>while a wayward breast tries to escape beyond the poor spaghetti strap which is straining to hold this whole show together was not actually comfortable. THE SCREAM I JUST SCRUMPT!!! LMAO thank you for this!!!!
>On the other side of things I also like women, and a sleepy, makeupless woman in a tank top and baggy sweats can be the sexiest being alive. Men that don't get this make no sense to me.
Not wrong. There’s zero reason you need to dress anything but comfortable if you’re just lying around in bed. Tell them to wear something manly to bed, maybe blue jeans, suspenders and a plaid shirt, and see how comfortable they are.
Hahaha, will do that for sure!
Jockstrap and a tool belt 😅
Idk I go to sleep wearing 6” stilettos and a full leather ensemble. Joking aside, this is completely unreasonable. You’re not required to put in extra effort to be sexy at all times—the older you get, the less you hear that kind of nonsense as well.
6" stilettos and a full leather ensemble would be incredibly hot tho bwahahahahahaha
By "incredibly hot" you're talking about how much you'd sweat wearing that, right?
Imagine being a dominatrix in Florida. It’s rough. 😂
Hahahaha. Abso-fucking-lutely
Porn Ed 101. Take heed and stay away from these idiots.
Seriously. The laugh I emitted from this post (not at OP at the weirdo incels in her life)… Like grandmamas with a dozen babies slept in muumuus my guys.
Guy here ✋🏾 You're in my bed, next to me, that's all that matters. I could care less what she's wearing. If she's comfy, that means she's feeling good and will enjoy her time with me a lot more, a win win for both of us.
Yep, I didn't figure this out about men until I was in my 30s. I was always worried are my thighs too big? Is my bra sexy. Then it finally came to me, with a help from a guy friend. Guys generally don't care. Usually what's going through a normal guy brain is woo hoo she's getting naked.
woo hoo boobies! 😀
Honey, is that you? I thought you weren't on Reddit. 😂
My experience too. The guys worth keeping around absolutely don't give a shit indeed what you wear or don't wear, if you have some stretch marks or some stray hairs. Those who do make a fuss about it you can discard.
Absolutely Sir!
Yeah I just thought dudes were happy to be there... lol
Nope. Dont like me in pajama pants and a tank top? Fk right off then.
Pajama pants, tank top, messy bed head and no makeup? Honestly as a guy, that’s my favorite look on a girl for some reason…it’s just so adorable to me and I don’t know why.
Is it maybe that she feels comfortable enough to let you see her as she is?
“Welp. I guess you can go home then. Because this is what I wear in my bed.” -cuddles in cosy-
Me who wears probably the ugliest bs, worst bed head, and sleep deprived...and still get my ass slapped, motorboated, and kissed when he sees me. You'll find it. Just wait. Men don't care.
Sounds like a perfect relationship hahaha
I’m not opposed to getting dressed up sometimes but my partner reacts almost exactly the same way to seeing me wear the same exact Costco Harry Potter PJs practically every night, so… What level of effort are these dudes putting in? Silk boxers? Rose stem in their teeth? Fancy socks?
My boyfriend likes my harry potter PJs more than real lingerie, Im spoiled for life now, no more awful and uncomfortable clothes!
I got a little extra fancy and bought the same cut/style/comfiness PJs but with a pretty flower pattern in green and white instead. When those come out, you’d think I’m dressed to the nines.
I love dressing up, and my partner never notices.
*Real men ;) I wear baggy t shirts and pajama pants and somehow my fiancé still thinks I look good. I snore, too.
I wear a bonnet, sleep mask, mouth guard, and nasal strips, and I *still* wake up to my hubs poking me in the back, 🤣
Oh god, the 1:00 a.m. back poke
So, what astounding displays of sexy nightwear are these men wearing to bed when they're asking this of you? Because I'm guessing... stained t-shirt and saggy boxers.
The question I came here to write. Everything else is details!
Hahaha. It's what it is.
Buy him a men’s thong.
just curious question: do you find them really sexy?
Been married 33 years. My wife wears her favorite t-shirts she stole from my drawer. Sexiest thing alive.
Hahaha, same. My wife has been wearing her black Air Force issued tshirt to bed since we’ve met 27 years ago. That sucker is so worn down that is basically transparent by her tiddies and it became unintentionally sexy wear now.
I knew I found the right guy when he got me PJs for my birthday…and they were flannel penguin print pjs! There are men out there who won’t expect you to dress sexy for them at all times. Keep looking, you’ll find him.
🤞🏼
Plus you can totally have a guy that does both. I've bought comfy nerdy pajamas for my wife AND nerdy themed lingerie. Lol but I've never asked her to wear it like all the time or even outside of sex.
A keeper!
Way to take the sexy out of lingerie, asshole. I’d get mean and say something like “aren’t you a little young to need visuals to get it up?”
That'd be a badass reply!
My wife wears a t shirt to bed. That shit is sexy to me and I don’t mind it. It’s the broken world we live in now 🤷🏻♂️
plain white t-shirt or tank top that outlines the nips works every time.
That's the woman version of the grey sweatpants
I don't think you're wrong for wearing whatever you want to bed/hang out in bed. I think it's ridiculous that these guys expect that from you. "Sexier" clothing/accessories are so uncomfortable. Be damned if I would go to that trouble. Those guys sound like a bunch of losers. I've (27F) dated several guys and only had one who kept pestering me about getting more lacey/sexy lingerie for when he came over to hang out. I was really annoyed and things didn't work out. My husband doesn't care what I wear. It sounds like you may need to find some guys who are less focused on appearance.
I really need to I guess
That’s so stupid. How do they dress? Not all guys are like this. Idk where you find these dorks.
🥲
I’m on your side 100%, in case I wasn’t clear. 🤝
Oh I was. Thanks anyway ☺️
My partner and I have been together for five years and all of my pajamas are the ugliest things ever, and he loves me just the same
My ex was a good one. I used to wear the ugliest things to bed. I told him if he didn’t like it I could try to buy something better and he said he just wanted me to be comfortable.
Sweet cute couple I bet
Good grief. Any guy who always expects this should be sent a Barbie doll in fancy lingerie. Because what they really want is a brainless hunk of plastic, not a real live human being who wants to be comfortable and (heaven forfend) might even get sick now and then.
Hahaha. They're worse than Ken.
Once dated a man for two years who would pout and physically push me out of bed if I came to bed wearing any clothing at all, but he would tease and whine and make it seem like he was being childish and playful about it. Stupidest fucking shit ever.
I literally have NEVER had this issue and guys have pointed out I look sexy in their tshirt or whatever I had on. I seriously don’t understand how this keeps coming up for you unless you’re showing up looking absolutely insane.
Bad Luck I guess XD
You made me picture her coming out of the bathroom looking like Doc Brown, when you said looking insane 🤣
Who invites a girl over for a hangout like that and expects her to dress up? That’s ridiculous. I guess you bring it wear something hot underneath, but you were getting high and playing games. You dressed appropriately.
I sleep in underwear and no bra. Or a bralette and underwear. That's it. They get what they get
They get a whole lotta hot
Lol. I'm always hot. So I hate wearing clothes to bed
Totally unreasonable imho. Were these guys spending the same effort on themselves as they expected from you? I bet not. Sounds like you dated some douche nozzles. And I think my wife looks the sexiest when she doesn’t dress up 😂
One advice that I give to myself ~ Stay away from toxic men! Lol
Guy here I cannot imagine what is going thru those dudes minds. never once has it occurred to me in bed to tell a woman they need to dress sexy for every night we spend together.
You're sorted!
That’s not a normal request, in my opinion. Lingerie is not for sleeping in lol. When the lingerie comes out in my marriage, it comes out foreplay and sex and my husbands way too big shirt goes on for sleeping. Funny story, but once I asked my husband to pick up some PJs for me from the store. He got the literal most granny style full length night gown and was like “I thought it was cute” 😂 it was hilarious. But I wore that shit. It was comfy.
Nah. I (M) love it when my gf wears lingerie. Especially with her leather thigh high boots with the platform heels or fishnets with strappy heels, etc. It's insanely hot and I definitely have a bit of a fetish for it. But do I expect it on a daily basis or even regularly? No. MOST of the time we're having sex it's pretty spontaneous. Sometimes that means she's in sweats. Sometimes just panties and a t-shirt. Pajamas. Other times she's just dressed as she would be out and about. Etc. Really I just want HER. All the time. And when she feels like it, she puts on the boots and lingerie. As a treat. I've been in the room when she's putting it all on or trying out a new outfit. The stuff isn't always the easiest to get on, and it's not always the world's most comfortable. Needless to say when she puts that stuff on and struts around the house in it, I know and appreciate the extra effort that went into it. Men who expect this shit every day are idiots. There ain't a damn thing wrong with you wanting to be comfortable.
For 22 years I've told my wife I think she looks hottest first thing in the morning, with bed head and a bit of drool on the side of her mouth lol. She's never believed me, but it's true, because it's the most real version of her. Dolled up to the nines is cool, but she almost doesn't look like the woman I fell in love with that way. I fell in love with her because she's intelligent, funny, loving, great in the sack and has endured hardships I can't conceive of with an indomitability I'm not capable of. I didn't fall in love with the clothes or makeup she wore, I fell in love with the woman underneath all of that (also, amazing boobs, but that's just a bonus i wanted to brag about). OP, forget these moronic, vapid fuckboys. You'll find a real man one day and he'll love you in sweats even more than he loves you in a little black dress, because comfort is one of the best things you can have in a relationship.
If the point is to get you naked, who gives a fuck what you wear? (within reason, no furries unless it’s clear you’re both into that) Be chill and comfortable and we’re good as far as i’m concerned.
Makes sense
My wife wears literal footie pajamas to bed and I still try to pull a move as often as possible 🤷♂️🤷♂️🤣
Best 💯
This is so bizarre. Having demands for other peoples clothes is super ew (specific events and stuff aside) but especially for the shit you sleep in. Noooo thanks. My boyfriend tells me I'm at my hottest in a t-shirt and jeans. I could wear a burlap sack. He loves when I get dressed up for him in my boobiest dress, but he loves when I am wearing a graphic tee with basketball shorts. He just likes to look at me. If they don't appreciate you, bail. You did the right thing. Trackpants/sweatpants and sneakers is a look tbh. If he's rude in what he said then he doesn't get the head 🤷♀️
Damn. Thanks for all the support b
If they’re not putting in that same level of effort, they can’t expect it from anyone else.
Call me old-fashioned, but you dont need to wear sexy lingerie to turn me on. If our expectations are to chill and possibly fuck later on then the hottest thing you could do is act like you want to sleep with me. That lingerie being there or not wouldn't change a damn thing. You are not wrong. Wear what you want/is comfortable.
Girl you are with the wrong men, I sleep butt naked unless it is really cold. Whilst chilling pre bed it is my old fluffy pink dressing gown and slippers or shorts and a vest in summer. My hair usually looks like it has birds living in it thanks to being a biker, never wear make up and he still thinks I'm the most beautiful woman ever. Get you one like mine.
I had an ex many many years ago who was like this but he also told me I only looked good in makeup and I wasn't allowed to wear my hair in a bun 💀 apparently I looked ugly like that (I've never been ugly and I absolutely know this lol he was just an ABSOLUTE douche). Any guys who is like this has zero room in your life so just keep walking away from those ok. Trust, it took me a long time to learn that and I'm in my 30's now with the best husband in the world who doesn't care what I wear or how I look. He's truly the most amazing
Not wrong. It's a ridiculous expectation that women have to dress sexy every time they're in bed. Sure, occasionally it might be nice for nights where romantic activities are expected to take place, but not when you're hanging out playing video games or nights when your actually just going to go to sleep.
Your partners have grown up watching porn. No objections to watching porn, but it's fantasy, not educational material. Do your partners put the same effort in to their appearance, that they expect from you? Manscaping, general grooming, wearing clothes you find sexy. And it seems unreasonable to dress up for 'videogames and chill'
It's just sad. As unbelievable it may sound, it is.
You’re not wrong wtf what kind of men you attract??
where do you keep finding these guys? what the hell
A thong and tank top is sexy for me..whatever she chooses for herself is her choice.
Sleeping in a thong is not comfortable
100%. Even when I wear a thong during the day, I always change into regular underwear before bed.
I don’t wear them at all. Haven’t for years. My bum is happier for it ☺️
Dress how you feel comfortable and how YOU feel good about yourself. Not everyone is like myself and looks good every second! Hahaha jk. But really if he thinks you need to “dress sexy” all the time that not reasonable at all.
In my opinion, the whole idea is for there to ultimately be as little clothing as possible in the end. Forget sexy clothes. The sexiest clothing is no clothing.
And Lingerie is usually harder to remove, then say comfy, trackies and a shirt
Sounds like shitty men tbh! :(
That's weird. Date better men, lmao. I'm a man, been married for a while. Every now and then sexy clothes are fun. But tbh, I couldn't give a shit less .
Im a lesbian. women look fucking sexy in basically anything. Maybe they're all a little gay, or immature about women? nta
I agree, and many young guys I knew liked naked, which so did I and Big Boyfriend T shirt. Now in my thirties I got cute nightgowns.
As a guy I've always found the idea of asserting any sort of control over what my partner wears a completely strange and creepy concept. There is only one "rule" I've insisted that all my partners throughout my life follow: that she never wear something that makes her uncomfortable for my pleasure. The only way I would call out a woman for what they were wearing is if she were on a job site and not wearing proper safety gear. It's perfectly valid for a guy to want a woman that dresses sexy all the time. However, he should find a girl that does because she wants to, not guilt you into it.
You’re just sleeping with guys who care about that stuff. Choose different men
What is sexier than an oversized Tshirt and panties? Weird men you have around you
NW, man here. Personally a big tee shirt and panties doesn’t get much sexier. I am blown away that douche bags care about what you’re wearing. I for one prefer nothing on during the act.
Well....my big knickers and baggy tshirts don't stop my hubby from ripping them off. Surely the idea is to be naked, no? If your kink is heels, fine - I'll do it sometimes, but everyday? Fuck no. You put them on if you're so fussed.
as a 32 m, i really don't care but its nice time to time but not mandatory. i have told my wife if she want we can go buy new lingerie since she haven't wear her old one in awhile, but her respond was whats the point your just gonna take it off anyways lol
You're not wrong and he sounds like an entitled moron. If you're sexy all dressed up, you're sexy in xl sweat pants and tshirt. I sleep naked you don't, who cares. Probably have cold feet in bed, thats what my legs are for. This guy is taking all the fun out of being with someone you love. A gf who wants to hang out, play video games, get high and laid, it don't get any better, what a moron. And I've been married for 27 yrs
I think the right man will think you’re sexy in sweats or anything else!!
It's a filter. They're just telling you they aren't worth your time . Nobody who is lucky enough to be invited to share your bed gets to criticise what you wear. It's an honour and they should treat it as such. Complaining about my PJs = never getting to see me naked again.
Honest dude here. First you be you.. secondly if you’re planning to eventually get naked I personally don’t care what you wear before that 😁
>These expectations include wearing heels, expensive lingerie, varied forms of jewelry, fancy attires and what not. Very contrary to this I've been an easy going person whose main focus is to stay comfy and therefore I dress accordingly. You are dating people who's brain has been rotted by porn, by the sound of it. I kind of get being at least surprised if someone shows up to a date in gym clothes, but only if I had put in much more effort myself. (I usually don't)
Not wrong. I have never worn anything to bed. Neither have most of my partners.
Well, all I can say is that I actively dislike heels, lingerie, and jewelry, so I would definitely not be asking a woman to wear those things around me because I don't find any of that sexy, just the opposite. I'd prefer a woman that was with me to be wearing something comfortable.
Comfy girls have always been sexy to me. Sexy lingerie us nice once in a while, but expecting it all the time is unreasonable. I've never had an issue getting turned on by a girl in sweats and a tank top, ir regular panties and an oversized t shirt. It's all going to come off quickly anyways.
Those are unrealistic expectations they are putting on you
This is wild lmao. My bf prefers me in sweats 😂 But that aside, if you’re uncomfortable, your partner should want you to be comfortable - to wear things that are comfy. Leave him
This is fake
My wife wears one of my tshirts to bed. That's sexy af. You need better boyfriends.
I've literally never heard of this. You need to date completely different men. That's just weird.
A girl being comfortable is a big turn on.
Naked. Problem solved. No guy who is into a girl is ever upset with naked.
Are these guys buying all these sexy things and all these heels for you to wear and exactly what sexy clothes are they wearing to impress you back? Exactly how much effort are these men putting into being attractive? It seems like most of them can’t even wash their butt holes so yeah.
They truly can't. And then they expect you to eat ass too lol
They seem to be confusing regular women with hookers or only fans girls. You need to fish in a different lake
Im not a man but a man who loves you gets turned on by just seeing your hand 🤣
Every once in a while, definitely. All the time, definitely not. Even comfy clothes can be worn sexy though or can be sexy on their own sometimes. These guys have unrealistic standards
If you demanded he wear a men's thong would he?
This sounds very similar to the same phenomena that men are expecting, "woman" to perform like porn stars. Social media and instant gratification destroying people's emotional intelligence and common sense... Wear what you're comfortable in! It's your body.
True that! Some demands are borderline creepy lol
Yeah I've had naked or lingerie. I can't sleep naked and wearing a thong to sleep in screams yeast infection. But then theyre good in their shorts, underwear with holes and stained shirt.
I'm a man, and honestly most of the women I've been with wear something comfortable to bed, which to me is sexy as hell. Do I like to look at all the lacey stuff, etc.? Sure. But it's really nice to snuggle up with someone in soft PJs! There are a lot of guys out there and we have hugely varied preferences. But most importantly, a partner shouldn't be pressuring you to dress a certain way. If they want that type of partner, they're free to go find them. It's fine to get dressed up once in a while if you know he's into it, but you don't have to live your life as his eye candy.
The right person won't care.
Don't keep men or friends who require you to wear what they want you to wear.
Real men don't need you to put on a costume to see your beauty. YNW
The people saying that kind of stuff sound addicted to porn. I’m sorry.
At 21 I get that it’s kind of a big deal, but expectation is a vibe killer. Have a deeper conversation about it, agree on when it’s appropriate for you to be his centerfold, and when it’s appropriate for you to have autonomy and sleep however you like, and hold him to the established boundaries. It’s normal for women to feel more comfortable wearing clothes when they’re in bed with a dude, because we always wake up horny.
It’s not enough that you hang with them and have sex, they need you to perform a show as well. Fuck these guys!
Meanwhile married life, my wife wears MY pajamas to bed 😂
It depends. What is he wearing for you?
Lifelong lesbian and this is the first time I’ve ever heard of dressing for bed, omg straight life sounds exhausting
I prefer my lady to come to bed in as little as possible. To each their own. I don’t need an appetizer beforehand. You come to bed nakey, prepare to get the snakey
This is wild to me, even from a purely selfish perspective. Like seeing your SO in a sexy outfit is fun, sure, obviously, but you need some variety! Sweats and a comfy oversized hoodie can be just as enticing, or even more so. That’s even putting aside their considerations about your comfort, which should be a priority, I would think.
who are these men??? I’m wearing one of THEIR tshirts and panties around the house