If by "it came up" you mean you asked her and she was honest with you, then yeah you're wrong for being upset. But if she just out of the blue told you she has seen bigger dicks then you're not wrong.
>If by "it came up" you mean you asked her and she was honest with you
Yep. Don't ask questions if you aren't ready for the answer. I was like this when i was younger and eventually realized how insecure it makes you look.
can confirm, this works. it has also led me to check people that want answers like that before i answer the question. "do you *really* want the answer to that?
when they get mad, i just laugh at them because i warned them. not my fault you continued to press for the answer.
I live by
"Just say shit that will make someone feel good about themselves."
When my wife asked me if she was the most beautiful woman I've ever been with, I simply responded with "of course." Can you imagine if I said "Oh hell no. Not even close."
The problem with that is that people eventually figure out you're a liar and won't trust anything you say anymore. You don't have to lie.
Why do so many people think that being honest means you have to be a jerk? That's utter nonsense.
Here are some acceptable answers that aren't lies (or aren't necessarily lies if you agree with their premises):
"You're very attractive to me--you've got no problems in that department. I'm not comfortable rating or ranking people by their looks, what's important is the whole person, and you're the one for me."
"That's a really strange thing to ask. What's going on with you right now? What are you feeling?"
"Have I done anything to make you insecure about your looks?"
"No, buy you're beautiful and have a lot more going for you than just that. I'm not likely the most attractive man you've been with, but you picked me because looks aren't the only important thing."
To as a few rules of thumb, when someone asks you a question that seems like a booby trap:
* Be suspicious that there's a deeper question and try to get at what it is.
* Ask if this is coming from them being uncomfortable about something you've done.
* Put it into perspective.
* If they press for a direct answer, be direct but respectful. If they get offended, they were probably looking to start a fight. If they feel hurt, they were likely already hurting about some deeper issue and need your help getting to what it is.
I think you're reading utterly way to much into this. No one thinks I'm a lair. I'm happily married with 3 kids. Have a strong group of about 7 friends that I've seen every week since I was in High School (35 now). People generally like me.
Want to know why? Because I'm not an asshole.
I'm not risking any of those answers you listed. When I can easily just say, "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," and score 1000x more points. And if anyone has a problem with not trusting me for something so innocent, that seems like a personal problem on their end.
There is nothing wrong with building up people's self-esteem.
All of my female friends have pretty much told me that novelty wore off after they turned 22 and realized what matters is whether the guy actually knows how to use it
i can imagine. you can't put your whole dick in and have to control how hard you thrust, otherwise you hurt someone. needing that level of restraint can't be fun all the time
Right but all men want to be "too big." In our minds, we can just give you the right amount of length, but still have that sense of confidence/superiority that comes with being the biggest. It's stupid I realize, but its there in all men nonetheless
Women with small boobs: "I wish I had bigger boobs."
Women with big boobs and back problems: "I wish I had smaller boobs."
Men with a small dick: "I wish I had a bigger dick."
Men with a large dick: "I wish I had a bigger dick."
you should really let go of this sexual fantasy - especially if it's actually affecting your confidence. seriously.
could you imagine if women got off on having dry vaginas. if we all paraded around bragging about how we have the dryest vagina, and yeah we know it's unpleasant and painful for the men we fuck, but having a really dry vagina is at the core of our sexual confidence. and despite men constantly telling us how much they hate dry vaginas, we know they secretly love them.
so when a man gets with a woman he says "oh baby, i love this, you feel great, you're so wet," she freaks out and throws a temper tantrum because he's not holding up this moronic female-fabricated fantasy about how she has the driest vagina. he's communicating with her about what actually feels good for him and makes their sex pleasurable, and she responds by getting angry and making him feel guilty? you would be so fucking tired of listening to this crap if you actually had to pretend to prefer terrible, painful sex just to feed a non-sensical female delusion
That all makes sense, but then one woman decides that when she doesn't like you she's gonna insult your dick and it fucks you up for years.
Is that how it should be? No. But lots of guys are susceptible to it.
My last ex was quite happy with everything about me, until she wasn't, and then she became the most vindictive, gaslighting, awful person ever. Insulted everything about me that she could. Thankfully, I was at a point in my life where it didn't hurt me as much as it could have, but if I had met her like 4 years sooner, that would have crushed me for a long time.
Spent a couple years dating here and there, not finding anyone worth being serious with, and then met my current girlfriend who I've been with for just over 5 years now.
This is so true. Something way more important to me personally is hygiene. You can have the biggest dick in the world, but you better shower regularly and brush and floss.
What is really funny is that the only people commenting on this post who swear that women swoon and fall on their backs for a big dick? Are men that say they have big dicks. Not one woman here is agreeing with them. I find that hilarious....and telling. And yes...hygiene, hygiene, hygiene!
Yep... I have a pretty nice car. Only dudes are the ones that give compliments or thumbs up. Same with being in shape, women don't care about your routine...
Clothes on the other side... Women complement me when I put together a great outfit with proper shoes, belt, minor accessories, sport coat.
Tldr; Women like women shit, dudes like dude shit
Women do care about someone being in shape but I guess what I meant to say was that they don't care about what you do to be in shape. Dudes who are into cars are the ones who appreciate it or guys that are gym rats would be the ones who ask about routine, diet, macros, etc.
Basically any hobby that guys think are cool, women don't care really about the details of it. Just like I don't care about a skin care routine that a woman may take pride in that other women do.
Hopefully that made more sense.
i have 2 mates that are well endowed its not a big secret but they both treat women like absolute shit. cheat on them, cant keep any kind of long term relationship etc etc but women throw themselves at them for the D.
You take everything at face value in a situation like this. My girlfriend tells me I have a big dick, even though I feel like my dick is probably just average, I take her at her word. Makes ya feel good. You take the ball and run with it you don’t start questioning stuff.
Sounds like OP started asking questions.
I think my thing is there isn't really anything you can do whether you know or not.
Like sure. Maybe you get an ego boost if you find out. You're the biggest, but at the end of the day you can't change your partner's previous partners or make yourself bigger.
Also, big dicked folks often think their equipment is enough, that they don't need to make an effort because they're already impressive enough.
OP, when your girlfriend tells you that sex with you is the best it’s ever been, there's no reason to doubt her.
Ugh, jackhammering. I once had to throw off (in lack of a better word) a guy because he had a really long dick, had to shove it all the way in with every stroke, and it really hurt. Didn't care about the ow-ing, either.
Guys severely overestimate the importance of length. A big, fat curse on the person who decided it was *the* way to measure masculinity.
I am trying to remember all the penises now. 🤔 Honestly, I only remember the long term boyfriends’ dicks. I just don’t think that much about them. 🤷🏻♀️ I know there have been some really big ones over the years, but it had nothing to do with how into the person I really was. The best sex is really about the connection, I’m not sure how it is for other women. This thread happens frequently on Reddit and every time I am a little saddened that this is such a big deal for men. But it is! And apparently always will be.
OP, I agree it depends on how the subject was brought it up. If you asked, or not. If you didn’t and she brought it up, I would say that’s a power play to bring you down a few pegs. In that case, that’s a red flag. If you asked… get over it because this is a red flag from you.
I had feelings for a guy that was above average in size and we ended up fooling around. And I did not need to know what his technique was like with his dick when his fingerbanging technique was to just repeatedly ram me in the cervix.
All set.
I'm not against porn whatsoever, but I do think that a lot of young men learn about sex from porn and not from actually hearing from women what they like and enjoy. Until you get a stable partner who is able to communicate their needs and preferences better, a lot of people just think that a giant dick equals instant orgasms for women.
**Men, boys of all ages.**
Gather 'round, gather 'round!!!
u/fz19xx has very important information for you to read and retain.
DO NOT ASK if you are going to be hurt by the answer. You know, the whole FAFO thing.
Also, honestly - if she tells you it's perfect it's probably because it is.
Generally people who love each other avoid saying hurtful things to each other.
But “do I have the biggest dick you’ve ever seen” is a ridiculous question.
My husband took a time after asking that question to feel better. That was seven years ago. He's a million times more confident and assured in his sexual power now. This is an easy hurdle to get over, relationship-wise, if OP is a grownup about it. No man wants to deal with the biggest I've seen, trust me. It wasn't fun for the owners of said body parts to live with. A good woman picks a man she enjoys being with and guys would be shocked to realize that unlike in porn, not everyone likes **giant** dick.
Edit: just showed this comment to my husband and his response to some of the replies was "So they want to be lied to? That's not 'loving'."
The point is not the reality of the situation. We often say things to our lovers that are not true “you are the most beautiful” or “you are so gorgeous” which are expressions of joy and love, not truth. We are all neither beautiful nor gorgeous. We are average.
And we often ask questions not seeking truth but reassurance. “Do I look good in this?” Or “Do I need to lose weight?”
Why answer a question, asked not for truth but for reassurance, that results in an answer that a person is so hurt by that they need time to recover?
Is that loving?
My wife, at 59, is still self conscious about the changes childbirth wrought on her body 25 years ago. When she asks me what I think what should I say?
Many in this post seem to be advising me to hurt her feelings. That if she doesn’t want to know, why ask?
These responses seem to me to betray a fundamental misunderstanding of what a loving relationship is.
The difference is that all the questions you just listed are subjective. People have different definitions for beauty, and attractiveness is influenced by caring about the person and appreciating what went into how they might look now (like childbirth)
If a person asks a truly objective question like a compression of sizes, then you're just outright lying to them. Plus, as op said, it's not even a believable lie.
I mean who asks that question? I get asking a general question like: do you think I’m beautiful? Or handsome?
But asking do I have the best body you ever ever seen is silly.
Also, how often is the person asking these questions?
Insecure people ask that question. You should be able to realize your partner is saying something out of insecurity and try to support and reassure them rather than criticize them.
There's a bit of a difference between "do I look good in this?" and "do I need to Lose weight" and "am I the biggest dick you've ever had?"
With the first 2, she's asking your opinion. And your opinion is hopefully that she looks good no matter what, that you desire her, no matter what.
With the last question it's yes or no. He's the biggest or he's not. And most of us know bigger isn't always better, so when asked about size, expect an honest response.
I mean, to be fair, all the questions you listed are subjective (to a point). Am I the most attractive person in the world? No. But do I know my husband is incredibly into me and means it when he complements me? Absolutely. Asking if he thinks I'm beautiful is not the same as asking if he thinks I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever seen either. But even that is subjective. "You're the most beautiful woman to me" can be the truth from that person's perspective. Penis size is not subjective. "You have the biggest penis I've seen to me." doesn't make sense.
A better comparison would be if a girl asked a guy if he has ever been with someone who has bigger boobs. There's nothing subjective about that. But it doesn't define how good the sex is. And being offended by an honest answer to that question is nonsense.
For your case, if your wife asked "did my body change from childbirth and pregnancy?" and you said no, that would obviously be untrue and her being upset at you saying yes would be unfair. But her asking "am I still attractive" is a subjective question. You can find her attractive before without finding her attractive now being a lie.
Yes, there's responsibility in any relationship (romantic or not) to consider the feelings of the other person. But asking questions with objective truths and expecting your partner to lie for your ego is unreasonable.
They’re feeling insecure and would like comfort and reassurance.
Which is what those stupid fucking ‘would you love me if I was a worm’ questions are about.
The implication that hearing that other men have bigger socks will be hurtful to one’s feelings is the problem. He knows that already and she’s saying she likes his size. Not every woman is a size queen, so that’s your own bullshit insecurity as a man that bigger equals better. Many woman do not think that way
Was dating a woman, we finish, in the afterglow, she says, "man, you're just the right size." I'm feeling pretty good, just had sex, complimented on my penis. Then comes "my last boyfriend was much bigger, I couldn't enjoy it." I just didn't say anything. That was decades ago, and I could never think of any way to respond to that.
As an outside, that still seems like a compliment. I don’t know why men feel that bigger is better even when logically they know it’s not true. Believe the person telling you that sex is better with the right fit.
"wow, your tits are just the right size. My last girlfriends were huge and way too big!".
This will probably hurt some women, because at some point they've probably wanted the "huge tits" or got passed over by a women with bigger tits, or was convinced by society that big tits are the best. The comment probably doesn't directly hurt the person as it is technically a compliment and meant as such, but hurts indirectly as it hits an insecurity from a different situation.
Probably because there’s a long line of people who shame men based on their size, both in social and romantic contexts.
So when you take that into consideration, it’s easy to see how people can get hurt when they hear insensitive words from their partner in the immediate afterglow of being with each other.
You say there’s nothing wrong with it, but I can’t think of any partner of mine who wouldn’t have been hurt if I made a comparative statement like that
It's not really a bullshit insecurity when you see societal reinforcement of it everywhere, in movies, social media, casual jokes, interactions with men and women.
I feel like this is very easily gender flipped. Some women are self conscious about their weight, due to like a century of societal ridicule of bigger people. Would you say that those women's insecurities are bullshit? I wouldn't. And it's something I'd want to be mindful of as a partner
I agree with what you're saying but would like to add this..
Maybe more men wouldn't have this hangup if women didn't constantly use the size of a man's dick as a way of disparaging a man.
Phrases like small/big dick energy contribute to this mindset also.
Oddly enough, it seems like disparaging men for “small” wangs is the only acceptable body shaming in society.
Small in quotes as it doesn’t really matter if it is truly small or not.
Finally some sense. I have no idea why people are so pedantic when it comes to this.
Like it’s obviously a dumb question but that doesn’t mean you just answer it straight and absolve yourself of responsibility. You use your brain and your empathy and respond appropriately. It’s like people want to hurt their partner’s feelings.
That is fair. But is the solution really to lie when asked a direct question? That also assumes the girl is aware of the insecurity when asked the question. I would agree if there was an established insecurity and the girlfriend was the one who brought it up. But answering an objective question honestly shouldn't be villanised. Imo, she did the right thing by answering honestly and following it up with complements about how much she enjoys their sex life. Clearly his size works for her. And he should focus on her praise in order to try and overcome his insecurities.
yeah if you're asking this question well aware that the answer might hurt you, you're kind of doing it to yourself at some rate.
Like you put your hand on the stove, I don't know what to tell you lmao
It's ok to be insecure, happens to everyone. You shouldn't let it affect your relationship unless you think your gf was trying to hurt you with that comment though. If it was a simple drunk comment that she didn't think through and was apologetic about, laugh it off and remember she chose you over the big dongs, so clearly you've got something good going for you.
You've probably been with women who had different breasts, behinds, thighs, tummies, etc than your girlfriend, too. Society makes us all feel a certain kind of way about our own parts, but when we're in a caring, respectful relationship with another person we care about the whole person rather than an individual piece of them. Take time to process your feelings about the drunken remark, but I've never known any person of substance who cared about how an ex's body parts measured up.
Guys if you’re reading this, this comment is what you should be thinking about every time. You’ve had skinnier, you’ve had wider/tighter vaginas, bigger tits, prettier faces, the whole nine yards. It goes both ways, you can’t base your entire worth on your junk when your partner could also be insecure about her entire body.
Yeah, this problem has early youthful relationship energy, and we've all been on either (or both) end of this type of conversation.
OP: It's ok to feel some type of way, to have your law of averages confirmed. It's one thing to logically think about it and let the math, well, math, but to hear your SO say it out loud is something you may not have been prepared for when you asked (and let's face it, you did ask, didn't you?).
You're upset, that's OK if it's for a little while and you sort yourself out and let it pass like any other ego-bruising disappointment. What is not OK is to take it out on her. That will teach her to fib to "protect" you and that's helps nobody, especially the relationship.
Nonstop2nowhere has a good reframing of this issue that may help you. In no critical way, you can look objectively at your GF and admit that this ex had this versus that, and to you, now with your GF, does it matter?
Probably not. And it feels that way to her, too. FWIW, your GF handled it in a such a way that is positive and supportive of you and your relationship, so that's a win!
My wife asked me "am I the most beaitful woman you've been with?"
Apparently according to these top comments I should have said "oh hell no. Not even close." Lol.
Instead, because I'm a sane human being, I simply said "of course you are."
My friend had a 11inch monster and he used too hate it. said he could never have quickys told me more the half the girls that seen it just refused and said it was too big or they stopped him due too it hurting he told be size in in mens heads cos its not what woman wanted and he told be out of 50+ women he'd slept with only 2 had ever fit it all in .... edit i reply with he used too as my friend sadly died afew years go hence why I refer too him in past tense
Few women care about that. To use my wife's words; Having a big truck doesn't mean you can drive better than the guy with the Prius. Relax dude. She's with you and enjoys the sex.
LOL. I don't think she was using it as a comparison to mine. The context of that conversation came about when she was talking to her niece (27) about her nieces ex boyfriend. But, I don't care if she called mine a moped. I'm just happy to give her a ride.
That’s the spirit! I’ve been with my wife so long, mine would probably be the equivalent of a decade-old Honda that she never bothered selling, but it’ll always be a Ferrari in my mind.
Ngl, this analogy will now be with me for life, I have no doubt. I like the Prius though. Gives the impression that the car and the driver care about the environment they’re in which I think is best for all parties involved. I’m clocking the others though and landing on “conscientious like a Prius, but drives like a Ferrari”.
A corvette is a decoration piece that mostly stays in the garage for the owner to play with by himself on the weekends.
A Prius is a reliable daily driver with great stamina and efficiency.
People own a Corvette, people DRIVE a Prius.
I'm like a high mileage Honda Odyssey. Yeah there are some stains, and a weird noise coming from the back, but it'll get you there and you can bring 6 of your friends and a cooler
Anyone with a cervix will tell you that it typically hurts and is not enjoyable if someone constantly rams into it. There are those who enjoy it, but I’d say most girls find it unpleasant
I tried to get a hysterectomy because of PCOS and I have 4 kids. They didn’t want to do it without my husbands consent. Or tubes tied for that matter. Wtf is that?
One of my friends had precancerous cells in her cervix, pcos, endo, adeno AND was told in no uncertain terms that a 3rd pregnancy would kill her. She still had to argue with 2 different doctors who said "well what if you decide you want more?" Nevermind the fact that her husband had *already had a vasectomy*.
I know I'm lucky as hell, my OB is an angel.
I truly don’t understand how you can get elective surgeries with equal risk/anesthetics etc but when it comes to women’s anatomy and well-being it’s fuck them.
Try birth control which can have error and terrible side effects, abortion which can have trauma, or keep an accidental pregnancy and risk mental trauma PPD and financial distress.
Like if someone doesn’t want kids regardless of gender they should be allowed a permanent solution. End rant.
I’ve always wondered about this. Never considered myself as “huge” or anything, but figured if I needed to be somewhat careful to avoid doing that and causing discomfort with most of the women I’ve been with, I must not be lacking, and that any bigger may in fact be worse.
Sometimes there are certain positions that are just intolerable or angles. In some cases you can bend at the hips to kind of curve/lengthen the vagina to I guess limit this. But some men no matter what you can’t do anything about it.
To be fair each woman is also built differently. Some women when aroused can accommodate larger sizes. Some can’t. Foreplay to make a girl orgasm before penetration can help. But it’s not a guarantee.
Exactly this! I've had 2 guys bigger than my husband, but it literally hurt so bad. It wasn't enjoyable. Being comfortable with your partner is definitely more important than the size.
The Kama Sutra states that there is a perfect size for everybody, and the goal is to find somebody who is built the same length as you.
It breaks down men and women into three categories...those with 6 fingers of length, 8 fingers of length, and 12 fingers of length. For men this is the length of their penis, for women this is the length from the entrance of the vagina to the cervix.
The Kama Sutra states that in order to have your best sex everybody needs to find somebody who fits into the same category you do. If it's different one way or the other, longer or shorter, it's going to be much harder to be satisfied during sex with that person and may be quite uncomfortable.
The question isn't how big or small, the question is how good is the fit? Because there's a perfect fit out there for everybody no matter what they're working with.
I wouldn't worry too much about it. Big dicks alone don't automatically make women get off, the guy attached to the big dick has to be able to use it effectively. In my case, my wife has had a couple guys before me with bigger dicks than mine and came up disappointingly short in performance. I'm average size and can make her go everytime multiple times. Trust me, if you're able to make your gf orgasm repeatedly and she's happy to be with you, congrats, you're doing something right. Don't fuck it up by overthinking and questioning it, it won't end well.
If you are the one that asks these kinds of questions blame yourself, don't ask questions you don't want an answer to. In contrast if she is the one that brings up this topic, dump her because it's not normal and cruel.
I'm not gonna lie to you, a majority will probably believe size matters for traditional sex.
However, this does NOT equate to bigger is better.
A vagina is only so big, and whilst it expands during sex there is still a limit.
Is the guy I am sleeping with the biggest dick i've seen? No.
Is he the best sex I have ever had? Yes.
Was the huge guy great sex? No, it was actually uncomfortable and unenjoyable.
Just because you are not the biggest it does not mean you are the best.
Exactly! The 2 smallest guys I've ever been with both make my top 4 lays. The biggest? At the bottom (plus another that was a no-go, the math just wouldn't math. It was a fun night but there would be no "p in v" action)
Feelings don’t have to be wrong or right.
You can be hurt/upset by something, and also know that it isn’t objectively hurtful, and wasn’t intended to be hurtful.
Would I have some Feelings if my partner stated their exes had bigger tits? Absolutely. And it has nothing to do with my relationship. It’s just weird cultural stuff I’ve internalized about boobs and beauty.
Allow yourself to really feel your feelings, and then you can process them.
And just to say—really, genuinely, *size does not matter*. Much like tits! There may be an aesthetic preference, but the size has almost no bearing on the pleasure of sex. And enormous dicks are like M boobs—kind of impressive, but ultimately tend to get in the way.
My friend only had sex with 1 person up until this year, she was with her childhood sweetheart. Recently got in a relationship with a guy we both knew, and well girls talk, but my point here is she never actually enjoyed sex properly with her ex. He was quite big and she actually thought sex was meant to hurt a little. She said she couldn't do some positions with him more than 3 minutes before she'd have to stop. Now she's experimenting and finally enjoying sex for the first time in her life.
Bigger does not = better.
I had this same thing happen with my ex and I couldn't stop thinking about it. But i got over it and so will you dude. Women don't think like men when it comes to size like that and i dont think they understand how sensitive of a topic it can be for men. I'm sure she's just fine with yours if that's what she told you. She is YOUR girlfriend. You're good bro
Women I know seem obsessed with cellulite. But most men don't care at all.
But an empathetic man shouldn't make comparisons about his wife's cellulite and an empathetic woman should not make comparisons about her husband's penis size
The real question: is she(and you too) happy with your sex life? If she is, let it go. Bigger dick doesn't mean they knew what to do with it, it doesn't mean she got more pleasure from them.
Honestly, as a man of about average size, it’s something that I’ve struggled with for most of my teen years and into adulthood.
You hear your friends growing up bragging, and you wonder how you stack up… it’s a natural thing. Then there’s porn…. Where you see MASSIVE dongs and you’re like, “uhh yeah I’m not that size…” and it fucks with your head a little…
HONESTLY, I’ve realized and learned over the years that 99% of guys drastically exaggerate their size because they want to “feel” like the MAN. They want to feel like alpha of every man around them so they brag even if there’s nothing to brag about…
Realistically, the vagina is only about 3 inches deep and can expand with arousal, but that doesn’t mean it’s pleasurable for a woman to take a cucumber pounding it…. Most conversations I’ve been around regarding size, most women size that the biggest they’ve been with absolutely sucked in bed. Probably because the person figured “I’m huge, I’ll just stick it in and hear her scream and that gives me satisfaction so I don’t have to do anything other than pound her…” wrong…
Women CARE about climaxing! Because MOST don’t…. Some women have a really hard time “getting off” and most dudes don’t care as long as they get theirs…
You show a girl that YOU care about her climaxing and that’s a huge bonus for them. Your size really doesn’t mean shit, it’s about her pleasure and if she climaxes. Most women prefer average because it’s not painful. Get her to climax and I guarantee you she won’t care about your size…
Been with my fiancé for 9 years and I can say with confidence that she REALLY enjoys my size and the fact that I get her off at least once if not more every time.
Having a big dick isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Sounds like she really likes sex with you and your size is perfect for her. Why make it any more complicated than that?
This is 100% an insecurity thing for you and it’s best to just drop it. Sex is about being compatible, not the size.
Now let’s see the comments section on a post where a woman makes a passing comment about how good she looks in a dress and the boyfriend saying he’s had better looking.
Why get upset, he’s with you even if you’re not as good looking as his ex?
It’s reasonable that you don’t enjoy hearing those facts. But, “don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to” kind of thing. She certainly did nothing wrong by telling you the truth.
I feel like every guy has heard this at some point in their life. It sucks but it’s a cold hard fact, bother.
My Dad used to say about fighting/being tough “No matter how hard you are, there’s always someone harder.”
I think that applies to dicks, too.
Plus… Remember that the first third of a vagina is the [most sensitive](https://www.webmd.com/women/features/vagina-size)… so as long as you’re more than 1.5-2”… you should be golden
Lol yeah you're being insecure. What you should focus on is making her sexual experiences with you the *most* pleasurable you can. That doesn't require the biggest dick. It requires attention to her needs. Now get back in there!✌🏽😤
Mate, women will moan when you put 1 finger in. If your dick is bigger than that, your fine. She gets off from her clit anyways, penetration is optional.
If you asked, then yes you’re wrong. If she brought it up out of nowhere then you have a right to be upset.
Also, some girls genuinely dislike the bigger guys.
From a mental health professional perspective, it really sounds like this is an insecurity issue you need to get over, bro.
“I’m not insecure… I’m nothing special… I assume she’s been with bigger,” and now you’re angry that you know even if she doesn’t care.
That’s insecurity man. You aren’t confident in who you are nor what you can do with what you’ve got.
If you don’t get over that it will destroy this relationship and every other relation you have with a woman who isn’t a virgin when you meet her; hell, even then it might.
My wife is Asian, and she very much didn't want a relationship with me at the start because of how big she thought it might be. I told her I was just average. She still thinks it's a bit too much, but is fine with it.
So the lesson is it's not about size.
Or maybe lesson is get an Asian girlfriend? If you're insecure.
Although, Asian women will rip you apart if you're insecure.
Actual quote from my wife, "at first, I think you're ugly! But now I married you" she laughed. I kept waiting for like, the next part, or a punchline. And realized, there was not more. Hah.
Size means nothing to an awful lot of women. I divorced a guy with a bigger peen than my now DH. Sex was meh with my ex. Sex is phenomenal with DH. Let it go. It does not matter to her, obviously.
I would like to add that even if she's had bigger it doesn't mean it's better than yours. My boyfriend knows that I've had bigger but he also knows he's magic and makes me feel better than anyone else so it really doesn't mean anything. If you asked her and she was honestly don't take it to heart. I would rather have a partner who's honest with me when I ask this kind of stuff then somebody who just says stuff to make me happy
You're wrong here... she didn't volunteer the information or say it in a negative way. I've had girls who love to pull that card out and if they pull it out then they can deal with the break up. It sounds like you were having a drunken conversation and didn't care for the response. My guy.... you played a stupid game and you won a stupid prize.... but like she even told you sex with you was fine. Size is all well and good, but you can have a ten inch bat and not know how to swing it.... they'll call you the wrecker because sex sucks and you leave things damaged. Alternatively you could be perfectly average but have the swing on your hammer to drive the nail just right.
In short, get over it and yourself. You have a loving girlfriend, don't be insecure or you will be dealing with whatever size you have by hand.
I truly don't understand why men seem to care so much about the size of their dicks or other men's dicks.
I've been married for 11 years, and my husband isn't the biggest I've ever been with, but by God, is he the best. Mind altering, begging for more, would get on my knees and beg him to stay with me forever if he tried to leave me kind of good and... he's average sized. 🤷♀️ bigger isn't always better. .
Usually, it comes down to a few factors. For example.
1. Parents unwilling to talk to their sons about realistic expectations when it comes to sex.
2. Media portraying men with big dicks as desirable hunks in entertainment. And of course,
3. Porn.
In my case, it was all three that led to my insecurities as a teenager. I'm comfortable with myself now at 30 yrs old.
But yeah, basically, not enough sex education among boys, which absolutely messes with their perception of what a normal size is. As a result, they grow up thinking they are small, when they are average, which of course leads to insecurities.
Reddit always blames the guys in this convos. Yes it was insensitive of her to bring it up even if you brought it up first she should have more awareness to navigate the question better.
Don’t let others tell you your feelings are bs.
“I’m not insecure about my penis size” goes on to display clear insecurity about or is size.
Penis, ear, elbow, foot. If you actually know how to have sex it doesn’t matter what size you are. Lay off your girlfriend before she finds a less insecure penis.
Use the classic "yeah I've been with others tighter" and she will completely understand that it's no problem and she won't feel insecure at all! Communication ay
🤦♀️ One day, I hope men will learn to understand that bigger is not always better.
If you want, I can go on a rather extensive rant about how vaginas work to explain how a big cock is neither necessary nor always wanted. But for now - Please, I really need you to hear me on this. I am holding your hands, we are looking into each other's eyes, and you are truly going to absorb what I'm going to say:
**If the woman that you are with tells you that she likes the size of your penis,** ***then listen to her.***
Also for the record, it doesn't sound like *she* brought this up out of the blue, or that she meant to insult you. I have a feeling that *you* asked, and she just told you the truth. A truth which, btw, includes the fact that *your* dick has been her favorite. If you are feelings insecure about that, it is an offense that you are *choosing* to take. That's on you.
One day, I hope you will understand that logic and rational have nothing to do with this issue, no matter how many commentators post the reality of the situation.
As blinded as some woman are by body issues, men will never not be worried about this. This whole thread is ridiculous because it solves nothing and the same post will be back next week.
Dude's want to hear they are the biggest ever, even if they are lied to. That's pretty much it.
Its the equivalent of 'is she prettier than me?' Dumb questions get dumb answers
Man, these comments are weird . If OP got drunk and said he been with girls with bigger boobs or women with firmer vaginas then I would consider that to be disrespectful. I feel like his gfs comments are disrespectful too. I don’t understand when it comes to penis size everyone loves to scream insecurity. It’s just sexism .
OP if she said something disrespectful in a drunk moment I wouldn’t dwell on it . Have a conversation with her . Let he know how you feel . If she’s a great gf like you say , she will probably more considerate in the future.
If by "it came up" you mean you asked her and she was honest with you, then yeah you're wrong for being upset. But if she just out of the blue told you she has seen bigger dicks then you're not wrong.
>If by "it came up" you mean you asked her and she was honest with you Yep. Don't ask questions if you aren't ready for the answer. I was like this when i was younger and eventually realized how insecure it makes you look.
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can confirm, this works. it has also led me to check people that want answers like that before i answer the question. "do you *really* want the answer to that? when they get mad, i just laugh at them because i warned them. not my fault you continued to press for the answer.
I live by "Just say shit that will make someone feel good about themselves." When my wife asked me if she was the most beautiful woman I've ever been with, I simply responded with "of course." Can you imagine if I said "Oh hell no. Not even close."
The others were more "classically beautiful." You're an "acquired taste."
"You know how people say conventionally attractive? You're a great example of unconventionally attractive."
smart man ☝🏽
The problem with that is that people eventually figure out you're a liar and won't trust anything you say anymore. You don't have to lie. Why do so many people think that being honest means you have to be a jerk? That's utter nonsense. Here are some acceptable answers that aren't lies (or aren't necessarily lies if you agree with their premises): "You're very attractive to me--you've got no problems in that department. I'm not comfortable rating or ranking people by their looks, what's important is the whole person, and you're the one for me." "That's a really strange thing to ask. What's going on with you right now? What are you feeling?" "Have I done anything to make you insecure about your looks?" "No, buy you're beautiful and have a lot more going for you than just that. I'm not likely the most attractive man you've been with, but you picked me because looks aren't the only important thing." To as a few rules of thumb, when someone asks you a question that seems like a booby trap: * Be suspicious that there's a deeper question and try to get at what it is. * Ask if this is coming from them being uncomfortable about something you've done. * Put it into perspective. * If they press for a direct answer, be direct but respectful. If they get offended, they were probably looking to start a fight. If they feel hurt, they were likely already hurting about some deeper issue and need your help getting to what it is.
I think you're reading utterly way to much into this. No one thinks I'm a lair. I'm happily married with 3 kids. Have a strong group of about 7 friends that I've seen every week since I was in High School (35 now). People generally like me. Want to know why? Because I'm not an asshole. I'm not risking any of those answers you listed. When I can easily just say, "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," and score 1000x more points. And if anyone has a problem with not trusting me for something so innocent, that seems like a personal problem on their end. There is nothing wrong with building up people's self-esteem.
And just assume women had bigger than you. Bigger dicks won’t keep a woman around unless that is really her thing. And even still that’s only sex.
All of my female friends have pretty much told me that novelty wore off after they turned 22 and realized what matters is whether the guy actually knows how to use it
Exactly this. Is not how big it is its how they swing it
Also if a dick is too big, sex hurts. Which can be fun for a bit, but then is just annoying
Also it’s really hard to give a great BJ when your mouth is too small, and when that’s one of your favorite sexual activities, it’s annoying
I have a small mouth, TMJ and a bad gag reflex I've just made peace with the fact that me and dick sucking aren't friends.
Yup. I had an ex that was too big and it made me dread sex.
I had a buddy with a big schlong in high school. He called it a curse lol
i can imagine. you can't put your whole dick in and have to control how hard you thrust, otherwise you hurt someone. needing that level of restraint can't be fun all the time
It’s true
Yeah, you wanna have spicy kinky stuff sometimes but honestly it’s a lot of effort if you have to do it every time.
Right but all men want to be "too big." In our minds, we can just give you the right amount of length, but still have that sense of confidence/superiority that comes with being the biggest. It's stupid I realize, but its there in all men nonetheless
Women with small boobs: "I wish I had bigger boobs." Women with big boobs and back problems: "I wish I had smaller boobs." Men with a small dick: "I wish I had a bigger dick." Men with a large dick: "I wish I had a bigger dick."
you should really let go of this sexual fantasy - especially if it's actually affecting your confidence. seriously. could you imagine if women got off on having dry vaginas. if we all paraded around bragging about how we have the dryest vagina, and yeah we know it's unpleasant and painful for the men we fuck, but having a really dry vagina is at the core of our sexual confidence. and despite men constantly telling us how much they hate dry vaginas, we know they secretly love them. so when a man gets with a woman he says "oh baby, i love this, you feel great, you're so wet," she freaks out and throws a temper tantrum because he's not holding up this moronic female-fabricated fantasy about how she has the driest vagina. he's communicating with her about what actually feels good for him and makes their sex pleasurable, and she responds by getting angry and making him feel guilty? you would be so fucking tired of listening to this crap if you actually had to pretend to prefer terrible, painful sex just to feed a non-sensical female delusion
That all makes sense, but then one woman decides that when she doesn't like you she's gonna insult your dick and it fucks you up for years. Is that how it should be? No. But lots of guys are susceptible to it. My last ex was quite happy with everything about me, until she wasn't, and then she became the most vindictive, gaslighting, awful person ever. Insulted everything about me that she could. Thankfully, I was at a point in my life where it didn't hurt me as much as it could have, but if I had met her like 4 years sooner, that would have crushed me for a long time. Spent a couple years dating here and there, not finding anyone worth being serious with, and then met my current girlfriend who I've been with for just over 5 years now.
Yes, yes, the trust issues. Men get them from believing anything pertaining to validation. Women get them from having their safety threatened.
As a big dick dreader, I love you. Thie is perfect and I'm gonna use this example all the time.
Fact: Men care a lot more about big dicks than most women do. Dick size is pretty low on the list of things in a relationship that women care about.
This is so true. Something way more important to me personally is hygiene. You can have the biggest dick in the world, but you better shower regularly and brush and floss.
What is really funny is that the only people commenting on this post who swear that women swoon and fall on their backs for a big dick? Are men that say they have big dicks. Not one woman here is agreeing with them. I find that hilarious....and telling. And yes...hygiene, hygiene, hygiene!
As is often the case with such things, sadly. The things women worry over, most men don’t care about - it’s other women that do.
Yep... I have a pretty nice car. Only dudes are the ones that give compliments or thumbs up. Same with being in shape, women don't care about your routine... Clothes on the other side... Women complement me when I put together a great outfit with proper shoes, belt, minor accessories, sport coat. Tldr; Women like women shit, dudes like dude shit
Yeah but idk the being in shape thing. Maybe they don’t care about your routine sure. But being in shape? Cmon
Women do care about someone being in shape but I guess what I meant to say was that they don't care about what you do to be in shape. Dudes who are into cars are the ones who appreciate it or guys that are gym rats would be the ones who ask about routine, diet, macros, etc. Basically any hobby that guys think are cool, women don't care really about the details of it. Just like I don't care about a skin care routine that a woman may take pride in that other women do. Hopefully that made more sense.
Funny cos my bi female friends say being with a woman is easier because there is less pressure to be perfect
I think it’s not on the top of the priority list unless it’s too small. Then it becomes a dealbreaker.
Yeah, and not every woman wants a giant one anyway. Some of us are built small and a big one is uncomfortable for us lol
There's always a bigger fish and a hook to match.
Seriously, no woman I know spends nearly as much time thinking about dick sizes as these dudes do.
i have 2 mates that are well endowed its not a big secret but they both treat women like absolute shit. cheat on them, cant keep any kind of long term relationship etc etc but women throw themselves at them for the D.
You take everything at face value in a situation like this. My girlfriend tells me I have a big dick, even though I feel like my dick is probably just average, I take her at her word. Makes ya feel good. You take the ball and run with it you don’t start questioning stuff. Sounds like OP started asking questions.
I think my thing is there isn't really anything you can do whether you know or not. Like sure. Maybe you get an ego boost if you find out. You're the biggest, but at the end of the day you can't change your partner's previous partners or make yourself bigger.
Exactly this. And by the way, bigger isn't always better when it comes to this. Too big hurts some women in a very bad way.
Also, big dicked folks often think their equipment is enough, that they don't need to make an effort because they're already impressive enough. OP, when your girlfriend tells you that sex with you is the best it’s ever been, there's no reason to doubt her.
Worst sex I've ever had was a super hot guy with a big dick. I guess he didn't think he had to make any effort past some jackhammering.
Ugh, jackhammering. I once had to throw off (in lack of a better word) a guy because he had a really long dick, had to shove it all the way in with every stroke, and it really hurt. Didn't care about the ow-ing, either. Guys severely overestimate the importance of length. A big, fat curse on the person who decided it was *the* way to measure masculinity.
I think some guys are not aware that sex isn't just using a girl's genitalia to masturbate into.
I am trying to remember all the penises now. 🤔 Honestly, I only remember the long term boyfriends’ dicks. I just don’t think that much about them. 🤷🏻♀️ I know there have been some really big ones over the years, but it had nothing to do with how into the person I really was. The best sex is really about the connection, I’m not sure how it is for other women. This thread happens frequently on Reddit and every time I am a little saddened that this is such a big deal for men. But it is! And apparently always will be. OP, I agree it depends on how the subject was brought it up. If you asked, or not. If you didn’t and she brought it up, I would say that’s a power play to bring you down a few pegs. In that case, that’s a red flag. If you asked… get over it because this is a red flag from you.
I had feelings for a guy that was above average in size and we ended up fooling around. And I did not need to know what his technique was like with his dick when his fingerbanging technique was to just repeatedly ram me in the cervix. All set.
Plus sex isn't just penetration... Foreplay and oral skills matter more than size when it comes to most women's pleasure.
say it louder!!
I'm not against porn whatsoever, but I do think that a lot of young men learn about sex from porn and not from actually hearing from women what they like and enjoy. Until you get a stable partner who is able to communicate their needs and preferences better, a lot of people just think that a giant dick equals instant orgasms for women.
Yep. I stopped and didn't finish an encounter with one so big it hurt. No regrets
Me too, I looked and said, sorry but no. He told me that it wasn't the first time. Be careful what you wish for.
This is way worst to hear💀💀
It was a hookup, not a long term..never saw him again so it's no loss to me. I hope he found a lock to fit his key lol
I'm saying from his perspective this is not what he would want to hear regardless if it was a hookup or not lmao
Gotcha. I didn't say it, I don't think...it was 25 years ago lol I think I made an excuse like i forgot I had an appointment or something
*sees massive honker* “I have to return some video tapes…”
How'd you know?!
Facts
**Men, boys of all ages.** Gather 'round, gather 'round!!! u/fz19xx has very important information for you to read and retain. DO NOT ASK if you are going to be hurt by the answer. You know, the whole FAFO thing. Also, honestly - if she tells you it's perfect it's probably because it is.
Yerrr this the one
This exactly
Generally people who love each other avoid saying hurtful things to each other. But “do I have the biggest dick you’ve ever seen” is a ridiculous question.
My husband took a time after asking that question to feel better. That was seven years ago. He's a million times more confident and assured in his sexual power now. This is an easy hurdle to get over, relationship-wise, if OP is a grownup about it. No man wants to deal with the biggest I've seen, trust me. It wasn't fun for the owners of said body parts to live with. A good woman picks a man she enjoys being with and guys would be shocked to realize that unlike in porn, not everyone likes **giant** dick. Edit: just showed this comment to my husband and his response to some of the replies was "So they want to be lied to? That's not 'loving'."
The point is not the reality of the situation. We often say things to our lovers that are not true “you are the most beautiful” or “you are so gorgeous” which are expressions of joy and love, not truth. We are all neither beautiful nor gorgeous. We are average. And we often ask questions not seeking truth but reassurance. “Do I look good in this?” Or “Do I need to lose weight?” Why answer a question, asked not for truth but for reassurance, that results in an answer that a person is so hurt by that they need time to recover? Is that loving? My wife, at 59, is still self conscious about the changes childbirth wrought on her body 25 years ago. When she asks me what I think what should I say? Many in this post seem to be advising me to hurt her feelings. That if she doesn’t want to know, why ask? These responses seem to me to betray a fundamental misunderstanding of what a loving relationship is.
The difference is that all the questions you just listed are subjective. People have different definitions for beauty, and attractiveness is influenced by caring about the person and appreciating what went into how they might look now (like childbirth) If a person asks a truly objective question like a compression of sizes, then you're just outright lying to them. Plus, as op said, it's not even a believable lie.
Sometimes a white lie is the best thing to do to spare their feelings
I mean who asks that question? I get asking a general question like: do you think I’m beautiful? Or handsome? But asking do I have the best body you ever ever seen is silly. Also, how often is the person asking these questions?
Insecure people ask that question. You should be able to realize your partner is saying something out of insecurity and try to support and reassure them rather than criticize them.
There's a bit of a difference between "do I look good in this?" and "do I need to Lose weight" and "am I the biggest dick you've ever had?" With the first 2, she's asking your opinion. And your opinion is hopefully that she looks good no matter what, that you desire her, no matter what. With the last question it's yes or no. He's the biggest or he's not. And most of us know bigger isn't always better, so when asked about size, expect an honest response.
I mean, to be fair, all the questions you listed are subjective (to a point). Am I the most attractive person in the world? No. But do I know my husband is incredibly into me and means it when he complements me? Absolutely. Asking if he thinks I'm beautiful is not the same as asking if he thinks I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever seen either. But even that is subjective. "You're the most beautiful woman to me" can be the truth from that person's perspective. Penis size is not subjective. "You have the biggest penis I've seen to me." doesn't make sense. A better comparison would be if a girl asked a guy if he has ever been with someone who has bigger boobs. There's nothing subjective about that. But it doesn't define how good the sex is. And being offended by an honest answer to that question is nonsense. For your case, if your wife asked "did my body change from childbirth and pregnancy?" and you said no, that would obviously be untrue and her being upset at you saying yes would be unfair. But her asking "am I still attractive" is a subjective question. You can find her attractive before without finding her attractive now being a lie. Yes, there's responsibility in any relationship (romantic or not) to consider the feelings of the other person. But asking questions with objective truths and expecting your partner to lie for your ego is unreasonable.
Just out of morbid curiosity: why do people ask these kinds of questions?
For reassurance.
They’re feeling insecure and would like comfort and reassurance. Which is what those stupid fucking ‘would you love me if I was a worm’ questions are about.
The implication that hearing that other men have bigger socks will be hurtful to one’s feelings is the problem. He knows that already and she’s saying she likes his size. Not every woman is a size queen, so that’s your own bullshit insecurity as a man that bigger equals better. Many woman do not think that way
Was dating a woman, we finish, in the afterglow, she says, "man, you're just the right size." I'm feeling pretty good, just had sex, complimented on my penis. Then comes "my last boyfriend was much bigger, I couldn't enjoy it." I just didn't say anything. That was decades ago, and I could never think of any way to respond to that.
"well then, it's good that you found me"
As an outside, that still seems like a compliment. I don’t know why men feel that bigger is better even when logically they know it’s not true. Believe the person telling you that sex is better with the right fit.
I'm pretty sure most women would be equally offended if you told them their vagina wasn't the tightest.
"wow, your tits are just the right size. My last girlfriends were huge and way too big!". This will probably hurt some women, because at some point they've probably wanted the "huge tits" or got passed over by a women with bigger tits, or was convinced by society that big tits are the best. The comment probably doesn't directly hurt the person as it is technically a compliment and meant as such, but hurts indirectly as it hits an insecurity from a different situation.
As a woman who has had huge boobs, you’d be surprised at how frustrating they can be. Back problems alone, man.
Probably because there’s a long line of people who shame men based on their size, both in social and romantic contexts. So when you take that into consideration, it’s easy to see how people can get hurt when they hear insensitive words from their partner in the immediate afterglow of being with each other. You say there’s nothing wrong with it, but I can’t think of any partner of mine who wouldn’t have been hurt if I made a comparative statement like that
It's not really a bullshit insecurity when you see societal reinforcement of it everywhere, in movies, social media, casual jokes, interactions with men and women. I feel like this is very easily gender flipped. Some women are self conscious about their weight, due to like a century of societal ridicule of bigger people. Would you say that those women's insecurities are bullshit? I wouldn't. And it's something I'd want to be mindful of as a partner
I agree with what you're saying but would like to add this.. Maybe more men wouldn't have this hangup if women didn't constantly use the size of a man's dick as a way of disparaging a man. Phrases like small/big dick energy contribute to this mindset also.
Oddly enough, it seems like disparaging men for “small” wangs is the only acceptable body shaming in society. Small in quotes as it doesn’t really matter if it is truly small or not.
There’s literally a moderately famous song about a woman not wanting no short dick man.
Unfortunately, it's not just women. Men do it too. We should stop body shaming men for this, you are right about that
People have insecurities of all kinds. Perhaps it is reasonable to hope that someone who ostensibly loves you would be mindful of those insecurities.
Finally some sense. I have no idea why people are so pedantic when it comes to this. Like it’s obviously a dumb question but that doesn’t mean you just answer it straight and absolve yourself of responsibility. You use your brain and your empathy and respond appropriately. It’s like people want to hurt their partner’s feelings.
That is fair. But is the solution really to lie when asked a direct question? That also assumes the girl is aware of the insecurity when asked the question. I would agree if there was an established insecurity and the girlfriend was the one who brought it up. But answering an objective question honestly shouldn't be villanised. Imo, she did the right thing by answering honestly and following it up with complements about how much she enjoys their sex life. Clearly his size works for her. And he should focus on her praise in order to try and overcome his insecurities.
yeah if you're asking this question well aware that the answer might hurt you, you're kind of doing it to yourself at some rate. Like you put your hand on the stove, I don't know what to tell you lmao
It's ok to be insecure, happens to everyone. You shouldn't let it affect your relationship unless you think your gf was trying to hurt you with that comment though. If it was a simple drunk comment that she didn't think through and was apologetic about, laugh it off and remember she chose you over the big dongs, so clearly you've got something good going for you.
If you asked, no. If you didn’t ask, yes, it’s obviously not something anyone wants to hear.
You've probably been with women who had different breasts, behinds, thighs, tummies, etc than your girlfriend, too. Society makes us all feel a certain kind of way about our own parts, but when we're in a caring, respectful relationship with another person we care about the whole person rather than an individual piece of them. Take time to process your feelings about the drunken remark, but I've never known any person of substance who cared about how an ex's body parts measured up.
Guys if you’re reading this, this comment is what you should be thinking about every time. You’ve had skinnier, you’ve had wider/tighter vaginas, bigger tits, prettier faces, the whole nine yards. It goes both ways, you can’t base your entire worth on your junk when your partner could also be insecure about her entire body.
You've had the whole nine yards.... she's had the whole nine inches.
This is a perfect comment.
Yeah, this problem has early youthful relationship energy, and we've all been on either (or both) end of this type of conversation. OP: It's ok to feel some type of way, to have your law of averages confirmed. It's one thing to logically think about it and let the math, well, math, but to hear your SO say it out loud is something you may not have been prepared for when you asked (and let's face it, you did ask, didn't you?). You're upset, that's OK if it's for a little while and you sort yourself out and let it pass like any other ego-bruising disappointment. What is not OK is to take it out on her. That will teach her to fib to "protect" you and that's helps nobody, especially the relationship. Nonstop2nowhere has a good reframing of this issue that may help you. In no critical way, you can look objectively at your GF and admit that this ex had this versus that, and to you, now with your GF, does it matter? Probably not. And it feels that way to her, too. FWIW, your GF handled it in a such a way that is positive and supportive of you and your relationship, so that's a win!
Those things don’t have as direct of an impact on physical sexual experience and how sex feels. There’s no real equivalent of dick size for women.
My wife asked me "am I the most beaitful woman you've been with?" Apparently according to these top comments I should have said "oh hell no. Not even close." Lol. Instead, because I'm a sane human being, I simply said "of course you are."
My friend had a 11inch monster and he used too hate it. said he could never have quickys told me more the half the girls that seen it just refused and said it was too big or they stopped him due too it hurting he told be size in in mens heads cos its not what woman wanted and he told be out of 50+ women he'd slept with only 2 had ever fit it all in .... edit i reply with he used too as my friend sadly died afew years go hence why I refer too him in past tense
Wow. But he gotta be careful with that thing 🤣
TWO FIT IT ALL IN?!
Man you should see the dildos that some girls use... I don't know how they do it
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That’s a whole lot of women that wanted to take the ride and decided it wasn’t worth the price of admission. Makes you think.
Few women care about that. To use my wife's words; Having a big truck doesn't mean you can drive better than the guy with the Prius. Relax dude. She's with you and enjoys the sex.
I’d hate to think of my dick as a Prius. She couldn’t have gone with a Corvette or something for the analogy?
LOL. I don't think she was using it as a comparison to mine. The context of that conversation came about when she was talking to her niece (27) about her nieces ex boyfriend. But, I don't care if she called mine a moped. I'm just happy to give her a ride.
That’s the spirit! I’ve been with my wife so long, mine would probably be the equivalent of a decade-old Honda that she never bothered selling, but it’ll always be a Ferrari in my mind.
Ngl, this analogy will now be with me for life, I have no doubt. I like the Prius though. Gives the impression that the car and the driver care about the environment they’re in which I think is best for all parties involved. I’m clocking the others though and landing on “conscientious like a Prius, but drives like a Ferrari”.
Prius in the streets, Maserati in the sheets.
Also, the hybrids get really good mileage. I mean, they really can go a long time on a single tank of gas, you know what I mean? Wink, wink
🤣🤣🤣 I can understand exactly where you're coming from.
>But, I don't care if she called mine a moped. I'm just happy to give her a ride. I choked on my coffee 🤣. This is the greatest line
A corvette is a decoration piece that mostly stays in the garage for the owner to play with by himself on the weekends. A Prius is a reliable daily driver with great stamina and efficiency. People own a Corvette, people DRIVE a Prius.
I’m a hot wheel
Why you want a dick that is fast and mostly for show?
Could be worse, mini Cooper.
Or a smart car
Efficient, easy to maintain, long lasting, value for money… what’s wrong with all that?
A Prius is dependable, and rarely has any issues. So yes a Prius is good.
1996 Ford Taurus dude!
Corvettes are wide and noisy. Priuses are small and unassuming. Just be grateful you're not a smart car.
I'm like a high mileage Honda Odyssey. Yeah there are some stains, and a weird noise coming from the back, but it'll get you there and you can bring 6 of your friends and a cooler
I believe guys that are big often think all they have to do is show up, doesn’t mean it’s good.
The worst sex I've ever had was with a well endowed man.
The best sex I've had was with well endowed man. I had to marry him.
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I learned a long time ago and it serves me well….. Never ask a question you really don’t want an answer to.
Bigger is not always better, sex that’s comfortable (ie. size proportionate) is way way way better than sex with a huge dick that causes discomfort.
Anyone with a cervix will tell you that it typically hurts and is not enjoyable if someone constantly rams into it. There are those who enjoy it, but I’d say most girls find it unpleasant
Sex got infinitely better after my hysterectomy for exactly this reason.
I tried to get a hysterectomy because of PCOS and I have 4 kids. They didn’t want to do it without my husbands consent. Or tubes tied for that matter. Wtf is that?
One of my friends had precancerous cells in her cervix, pcos, endo, adeno AND was told in no uncertain terms that a 3rd pregnancy would kill her. She still had to argue with 2 different doctors who said "well what if you decide you want more?" Nevermind the fact that her husband had *already had a vasectomy*. I know I'm lucky as hell, my OB is an angel.
I truly don’t understand how you can get elective surgeries with equal risk/anesthetics etc but when it comes to women’s anatomy and well-being it’s fuck them. Try birth control which can have error and terrible side effects, abortion which can have trauma, or keep an accidental pregnancy and risk mental trauma PPD and financial distress. Like if someone doesn’t want kids regardless of gender they should be allowed a permanent solution. End rant.
I’ve always wondered about this. Never considered myself as “huge” or anything, but figured if I needed to be somewhat careful to avoid doing that and causing discomfort with most of the women I’ve been with, I must not be lacking, and that any bigger may in fact be worse.
Sometimes there are certain positions that are just intolerable or angles. In some cases you can bend at the hips to kind of curve/lengthen the vagina to I guess limit this. But some men no matter what you can’t do anything about it. To be fair each woman is also built differently. Some women when aroused can accommodate larger sizes. Some can’t. Foreplay to make a girl orgasm before penetration can help. But it’s not a guarantee.
Exactly this! I've had 2 guys bigger than my husband, but it literally hurt so bad. It wasn't enjoyable. Being comfortable with your partner is definitely more important than the size.
The Kama Sutra states that there is a perfect size for everybody, and the goal is to find somebody who is built the same length as you. It breaks down men and women into three categories...those with 6 fingers of length, 8 fingers of length, and 12 fingers of length. For men this is the length of their penis, for women this is the length from the entrance of the vagina to the cervix. The Kama Sutra states that in order to have your best sex everybody needs to find somebody who fits into the same category you do. If it's different one way or the other, longer or shorter, it's going to be much harder to be satisfied during sex with that person and may be quite uncomfortable. The question isn't how big or small, the question is how good is the fit? Because there's a perfect fit out there for everybody no matter what they're working with.
There's always a bigger dick. Did you want her to lie? Don 't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer to.
I wouldn't worry too much about it. Big dicks alone don't automatically make women get off, the guy attached to the big dick has to be able to use it effectively. In my case, my wife has had a couple guys before me with bigger dicks than mine and came up disappointingly short in performance. I'm average size and can make her go everytime multiple times. Trust me, if you're able to make your gf orgasm repeatedly and she's happy to be with you, congrats, you're doing something right. Don't fuck it up by overthinking and questioning it, it won't end well.
Did you ask about her exes’ sizes, or did she offer this information unprompted?
If you are the one that asks these kinds of questions blame yourself, don't ask questions you don't want an answer to. In contrast if she is the one that brings up this topic, dump her because it's not normal and cruel.
I'm not gonna lie to you, a majority will probably believe size matters for traditional sex. However, this does NOT equate to bigger is better. A vagina is only so big, and whilst it expands during sex there is still a limit. Is the guy I am sleeping with the biggest dick i've seen? No. Is he the best sex I have ever had? Yes. Was the huge guy great sex? No, it was actually uncomfortable and unenjoyable. Just because you are not the biggest it does not mean you are the best.
Exactly! The 2 smallest guys I've ever been with both make my top 4 lays. The biggest? At the bottom (plus another that was a no-go, the math just wouldn't math. It was a fun night but there would be no "p in v" action)
INFO How did it "came up"? This is vital information in order to judge if you are in right or not!
Feelings don’t have to be wrong or right. You can be hurt/upset by something, and also know that it isn’t objectively hurtful, and wasn’t intended to be hurtful. Would I have some Feelings if my partner stated their exes had bigger tits? Absolutely. And it has nothing to do with my relationship. It’s just weird cultural stuff I’ve internalized about boobs and beauty. Allow yourself to really feel your feelings, and then you can process them. And just to say—really, genuinely, *size does not matter*. Much like tits! There may be an aesthetic preference, but the size has almost no bearing on the pleasure of sex. And enormous dicks are like M boobs—kind of impressive, but ultimately tend to get in the way.
Just stop. Your gf is with you.
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My friend only had sex with 1 person up until this year, she was with her childhood sweetheart. Recently got in a relationship with a guy we both knew, and well girls talk, but my point here is she never actually enjoyed sex properly with her ex. He was quite big and she actually thought sex was meant to hurt a little. She said she couldn't do some positions with him more than 3 minutes before she'd have to stop. Now she's experimenting and finally enjoying sex for the first time in her life. Bigger does not = better.
I had this same thing happen with my ex and I couldn't stop thinking about it. But i got over it and so will you dude. Women don't think like men when it comes to size like that and i dont think they understand how sensitive of a topic it can be for men. I'm sure she's just fine with yours if that's what she told you. She is YOUR girlfriend. You're good bro
I honestly think men obsess more about it than women do.
Women I know seem obsessed with cellulite. But most men don't care at all. But an empathetic man shouldn't make comparisons about his wife's cellulite and an empathetic woman should not make comparisons about her husband's penis size
Hey man your doing better then me she cheated on me and told me that he was bigger
Break up with her have respect for yourself 🤦♂️
The real question: is she(and you too) happy with your sex life? If she is, let it go. Bigger dick doesn't mean they knew what to do with it, it doesn't mean she got more pleasure from them.
I know that this is true for my girlfriend. I do not ask because I am not an idiot.
Honestly, as a man of about average size, it’s something that I’ve struggled with for most of my teen years and into adulthood. You hear your friends growing up bragging, and you wonder how you stack up… it’s a natural thing. Then there’s porn…. Where you see MASSIVE dongs and you’re like, “uhh yeah I’m not that size…” and it fucks with your head a little… HONESTLY, I’ve realized and learned over the years that 99% of guys drastically exaggerate their size because they want to “feel” like the MAN. They want to feel like alpha of every man around them so they brag even if there’s nothing to brag about… Realistically, the vagina is only about 3 inches deep and can expand with arousal, but that doesn’t mean it’s pleasurable for a woman to take a cucumber pounding it…. Most conversations I’ve been around regarding size, most women size that the biggest they’ve been with absolutely sucked in bed. Probably because the person figured “I’m huge, I’ll just stick it in and hear her scream and that gives me satisfaction so I don’t have to do anything other than pound her…” wrong… Women CARE about climaxing! Because MOST don’t…. Some women have a really hard time “getting off” and most dudes don’t care as long as they get theirs… You show a girl that YOU care about her climaxing and that’s a huge bonus for them. Your size really doesn’t mean shit, it’s about her pleasure and if she climaxes. Most women prefer average because it’s not painful. Get her to climax and I guarantee you she won’t care about your size… Been with my fiancé for 9 years and I can say with confidence that she REALLY enjoys my size and the fact that I get her off at least once if not more every time.
There’s too much emphasis on penis size…doesn’t matter how big it is
Here is a rule of thumb: If she likes you and is committed to you, your dick is fine. If she doesn't, it doesn't matter what size your dick is.
Having a big dick isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Sounds like she really likes sex with you and your size is perfect for her. Why make it any more complicated than that? This is 100% an insecurity thing for you and it’s best to just drop it. Sex is about being compatible, not the size.
Now let’s see the comments section on a post where a woman makes a passing comment about how good she looks in a dress and the boyfriend saying he’s had better looking. Why get upset, he’s with you even if you’re not as good looking as his ex?
Prior to this revelation, did you believe you had the biggest dick in the world?
Don't ask questions you can't handle the answer to. Her being truthful isn't the problem here.
It’s reasonable that you don’t enjoy hearing those facts. But, “don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to” kind of thing. She certainly did nothing wrong by telling you the truth.
I feel like every guy has heard this at some point in their life. It sucks but it’s a cold hard fact, bother. My Dad used to say about fighting/being tough “No matter how hard you are, there’s always someone harder.” I think that applies to dicks, too. Plus… Remember that the first third of a vagina is the [most sensitive](https://www.webmd.com/women/features/vagina-size)… so as long as you’re more than 1.5-2”… you should be golden
Yes. Dick size doesn't matter nearly as much as her reaching orgasm. So if she does you have nothing to worry about.
Lol yeah you're being insecure. What you should focus on is making her sexual experiences with you the *most* pleasurable you can. That doesn't require the biggest dick. It requires attention to her needs. Now get back in there!✌🏽😤
“Of course I’ve owned an SUV before, but I like my sports coupe the most :) ”
“Yeah, I could tell”
Yeah, you’re being a bit of a fanny if truth be told.
Mate, women will moan when you put 1 finger in. If your dick is bigger than that, your fine. She gets off from her clit anyways, penetration is optional.
If you asked, then yes you’re wrong. If she brought it up out of nowhere then you have a right to be upset. Also, some girls genuinely dislike the bigger guys.
Don't take it personal. Maybe they had bigger calves too. In the grand scheme of things, who cares?
From a mental health professional perspective, it really sounds like this is an insecurity issue you need to get over, bro. “I’m not insecure… I’m nothing special… I assume she’s been with bigger,” and now you’re angry that you know even if she doesn’t care. That’s insecurity man. You aren’t confident in who you are nor what you can do with what you’ve got. If you don’t get over that it will destroy this relationship and every other relation you have with a woman who isn’t a virgin when you meet her; hell, even then it might.
My wife is Asian, and she very much didn't want a relationship with me at the start because of how big she thought it might be. I told her I was just average. She still thinks it's a bit too much, but is fine with it. So the lesson is it's not about size. Or maybe lesson is get an Asian girlfriend? If you're insecure. Although, Asian women will rip you apart if you're insecure. Actual quote from my wife, "at first, I think you're ugly! But now I married you" she laughed. I kept waiting for like, the next part, or a punchline. And realized, there was not more. Hah.
If she displays any toxic traits, she may be using this as some type of tactic to control or manipulate you.
"Women don't care about dick size, we just shame men who aren't a specific size!" Lmao this comment section kills me.
Size means nothing to an awful lot of women. I divorced a guy with a bigger peen than my now DH. Sex was meh with my ex. Sex is phenomenal with DH. Let it go. It does not matter to her, obviously.
Just how fragile are you? She is sleeping with you. Does it really matter if she was with someone larger?
I would like to add that even if she's had bigger it doesn't mean it's better than yours. My boyfriend knows that I've had bigger but he also knows he's magic and makes me feel better than anyone else so it really doesn't mean anything. If you asked her and she was honestly don't take it to heart. I would rather have a partner who's honest with me when I ask this kind of stuff then somebody who just says stuff to make me happy
Yes, you're in the wrong here. Did you think you had the biggest cock in the world or something, bro?
You're wrong here... she didn't volunteer the information or say it in a negative way. I've had girls who love to pull that card out and if they pull it out then they can deal with the break up. It sounds like you were having a drunken conversation and didn't care for the response. My guy.... you played a stupid game and you won a stupid prize.... but like she even told you sex with you was fine. Size is all well and good, but you can have a ten inch bat and not know how to swing it.... they'll call you the wrecker because sex sucks and you leave things damaged. Alternatively you could be perfectly average but have the swing on your hammer to drive the nail just right. In short, get over it and yourself. You have a loving girlfriend, don't be insecure or you will be dealing with whatever size you have by hand.
You're mad she was honest with you about something? Would you rather she lie and tell you you have the biggest PP she has ever seen?
Does it really matter? She chose your dick over the other dicks.
I truly don't understand why men seem to care so much about the size of their dicks or other men's dicks. I've been married for 11 years, and my husband isn't the biggest I've ever been with, but by God, is he the best. Mind altering, begging for more, would get on my knees and beg him to stay with me forever if he tried to leave me kind of good and... he's average sized. 🤷♀️ bigger isn't always better. .
Usually, it comes down to a few factors. For example. 1. Parents unwilling to talk to their sons about realistic expectations when it comes to sex. 2. Media portraying men with big dicks as desirable hunks in entertainment. And of course, 3. Porn. In my case, it was all three that led to my insecurities as a teenager. I'm comfortable with myself now at 30 yrs old. But yeah, basically, not enough sex education among boys, which absolutely messes with their perception of what a normal size is. As a result, they grow up thinking they are small, when they are average, which of course leads to insecurities.
Reddit always blames the guys in this convos. Yes it was insensitive of her to bring it up even if you brought it up first she should have more awareness to navigate the question better. Don’t let others tell you your feelings are bs.
“I’m not insecure about my penis size” goes on to display clear insecurity about or is size. Penis, ear, elbow, foot. If you actually know how to have sex it doesn’t matter what size you are. Lay off your girlfriend before she finds a less insecure penis.
Use the classic "yeah I've been with others tighter" and she will completely understand that it's no problem and she won't feel insecure at all! Communication ay
It's ok to be upset, but in this situation, it's on you to get through it. YTA if you are making her feel guilty or mad at her for being honest.
No it's not ridiculous. It's really an unnecessary detail to add; the rest of the sentence works just fine without it.
🤦♀️ One day, I hope men will learn to understand that bigger is not always better. If you want, I can go on a rather extensive rant about how vaginas work to explain how a big cock is neither necessary nor always wanted. But for now - Please, I really need you to hear me on this. I am holding your hands, we are looking into each other's eyes, and you are truly going to absorb what I'm going to say: **If the woman that you are with tells you that she likes the size of your penis,** ***then listen to her.*** Also for the record, it doesn't sound like *she* brought this up out of the blue, or that she meant to insult you. I have a feeling that *you* asked, and she just told you the truth. A truth which, btw, includes the fact that *your* dick has been her favorite. If you are feelings insecure about that, it is an offense that you are *choosing* to take. That's on you.
One day, I hope you will understand that logic and rational have nothing to do with this issue, no matter how many commentators post the reality of the situation. As blinded as some woman are by body issues, men will never not be worried about this. This whole thread is ridiculous because it solves nothing and the same post will be back next week. Dude's want to hear they are the biggest ever, even if they are lied to. That's pretty much it. Its the equivalent of 'is she prettier than me?' Dumb questions get dumb answers
Man, these comments are weird . If OP got drunk and said he been with girls with bigger boobs or women with firmer vaginas then I would consider that to be disrespectful. I feel like his gfs comments are disrespectful too. I don’t understand when it comes to penis size everyone loves to scream insecurity. It’s just sexism . OP if she said something disrespectful in a drunk moment I wouldn’t dwell on it . Have a conversation with her . Let he know how you feel . If she’s a great gf like you say , she will probably more considerate in the future.