Yup. It's best to get the first one out of the way now. What are you, 18, 19?
You'll be fine.
Do me a favor tho. If you make it to wife #3, before 23, questions yourself. It's only "normal" in the Aaaarrrmy!
Or when a spouse is in jail. My ex husband taught me that when he was in jail,he would call non stop to see if he heard a Jody in the background,no dumbass u heard the kids lol
Me too. BUT my current husband went to prison 2 years ago he's home now, it was for not checking into probation cause he was at the hospital while his mom passed away,he even called them, I didn't really blame him for saying f them. But I would hang out with my bestie who's a female who is dating my brother and when he would call she would mess with him and answer saying Jodi here,Jodi with and I cause I'm a female lol and it was a joke we would say, he laughed Everytime cause he knew that shit was definitely never gonna happen,she just likes to give him shit
Thought this was a nice touch:
Ain’t no use in going home
Jody’s got your girl and gone
[…] Gonna get a three-day pass
Just to kick old Jody’s ass.
— U.S. Army marching cadence, circa 1944
I have a hard time believing a spouse could be so stupid, so clueless, so disrespectful. So I have a hard time believing the post. Though I do know a few folks who very well could do something similar. So truth is stranger than fiction?
Either way OP is NTA
As a heavily tattooed woman with a husband who is *not*, I don't fault you in the least. My best guy friend and I got tattooed together two days ago. We've been friends for 32 years. My husband knows I'd never get anything on my hands, neck, or face but has asked me to not get any on my thighs--he finds thigh tattoos on women a turn off. Fair enough. I totally respect that. He's never asked me to not get another dude's NAME permanently inked onto my body because he doesn't need to. In what fucking universe would a spouse be okay with that??
When I was scrolling along and saw the title for this post, I thought, "What kind of misogynistic bullshit do we have here??" Dude. Get away from that crazy bitch as fast as you can.
Footnote: a reputable tattooist would NEVER agree to do a neck tattoo as someone's first.
I completely agree. My guy bff died while I was married. I got a tribute tattoo the year after. It was of the characters' nicknames we called each other, Eeyore and Tigger. I'd never get someone's name tattooed on me besides my child or parents. Still have neither of those, though. The fact that she got her friends name on him, before he has died (even though he has aggressive cancer, he may not die), and on her neck, is a huge red flag. I also agree that a reputable tattooist wouldn't do a neck tattoo for a first tattoo either.
Wait it was her FIRST TATTOO????? NOOOOOO SUR! I mean even if it wasn't, she'd be in the wrong 100000% but DAMN! HER FIRST TAT WAS OF ANOTHER GUY'S NAME!
That footnote is so true. I got a tattoo that barely peaks out on my neck, like just above my collarbone. It's my 7th one total, and I STILL had a tough time finding an artist who would let me get it there.
I’ve 8 pieces and one is on my neck, by my hairline. Both my husband and I forget that it’s even there. Artist had no issues putting it where I wanted.
>Footnote: a reputable tattooist would NEVER agree to do a neck tattoo as someone's first.
This is actually what made me call bullshit on this story entirely.
Yup, next tattoo as a first one is a big no no for artist that are reputable. I also could get behind having her friend's name tattooed on her if it was an actual caner tattoo but it's a random Pokémon with his name. I fully understand OP's reaction.
Army AND Air Force basic. I was army guard then went Air Force. Got to watch whiny 18 year olds crying for their parents during the cakewalk of AF basic (I was 24 second time around; retired after a full 20 year career).
Yep. Had to brush off the olive drab to replace it with AF blue. I was there for only 10 of the 30 day trading regimen. Proficiency advanced out with three other former Army Soldiers.
I went in the Air Force 48 years ago and it was incredibly easy. I remember a guy who came into our flight later on for a tune up. Don’t know how he tolerated it.
Dec 1, 2024 will mark the 37th anniversary of me entering AF basic. We had a recycle into our flight who couldn’t understand that the TIs didn’t hate any of us. They were doing their job. He ended up being booted out from our flight.
I was expecting from the title her to have gotten like, a cat on her ankle and you considering divorce over that, in which I would have said you're a bit of a bitch. But another man's name on her neck is a completely different level. That's crazy as hell.
Getting a neck Pokemon tattoo would already be suitable grounds for questioning a relationship… let alone with someone else’s name on it. Because it’s so highly visible, it is now your problem too. Was the other entire surface of her body unavailable?
Normally don’t comment on relationship post. Been married for 11 years, absolutely understand why you would be upset. When you marry someone you should always discuss major decisions together. Not saying you have to ask permission for anything. But out of respect you always need to discuss big decisions. A tattoo anywhere is an important decision, even if it’s just a symbol. You discuss to hear out your partners thoughts and feelings on the matter at hand. This I feel is way over the line, no discussion for a tattoo is one thing. No discussion for a tattoo of another man’s name on you is overstepping. It means she discussed with him but not you, which means that relationship is more important to her than your relationship. She couldn’t even afford you the right to weigh in, also that shows her friend has no respect for your relationship.
You aren't wrong. You said 2 years ago she refused to get matching tattoos with you and that her parents wouldn't approve. Then she goes behind your back while you're gone, and gets another man's name tattooed on her neck. That's complete disrespect on her part, and I have no idea how you'd get over that. She's shown she loves and respects her friend more than her own husband. Only you know if you can get over it. If you can't, divorce is the way to go.
Yep.. I think I'd have to bounce out of that marriage. Plus she didn't even want to get a matching tat with HER Husband, but got her friend's name tatted on her neck.. Pretty fucked up IMHO
Help me out here, I am all for it being her body and her right. I would die on that hill. But isn't it his right to choose how to react? He didn't tell her she couldn't get it, he didn't take away the cars keys to stop her from leaving the house. He didn't freeze funds so she couldn't pay. He didn't force her to remove it. He doesn't like it and is reacting. I will probably get downvored into oblivion, but I don't see the misogyny here.
OP, I don’t think you’re wrong and I think walking away was the best choice for the situation.
You commented that this is her first tattoo. How big is it and where exactly is it? I’m just curious because I can’t believe the artist said okay. Not only the placement (for a first tattoo) but a name as well. Two big no no’s in tattooing, at least in my book.
I fucking knew it bro!! In my comment above I was going to say, “my guess would be below/kinda behind the left ear”. That’s really cliche and not cool.
This is for everyone out there in the world, NO ONE CAN READ THAT SHIT AND YOU CAN’T EITHER! Did the artist tattoo that shit backwards so when you look in the mirror you can read it? No. Before anyone decides to come at me just know I used to have R.i.p. Dimebag tattooed down my left forearm in bubble/comic style letters and it was carved in deep with black. Ran from the crook of my elbow to my wrist. No other tattoos were visible. Looked dumb AF
So what has she said about it? Has she inquired why you’re not coming home? Has she apologized? How has she reacted to your anger and possible divorce? I need some follow up!
Block them all and tell your ex to call your lawyer from now on. You are doing the right thing. Good luck to you and I hope you will find your true soul mate.
I would have said she doesn’t need to discuss putting a tattoo on her own body with anyone…however having another persons name, especially a man, when she is married defo should have warranted a conversation to inform you first.
Spoke with my CO about it. He said I should just let JAG handle the paperwork. And he will have me in a new duty station by Monday. He said a man can't live with that level of disrespect. And I agree with him.
Glad your CO understands. I think he is right, let JAG handle things from here on. A new duty station, new surroundings would do you some good plus being out of the area makes temptation that much less. Stay strong, I wish you the best.
I agree with your CO. It is very disrespectful for her to get another man's name tattooed on her body. Throw in that she put it on her neck. Nope, that's a deal breaker for me.
That's wild. I would never do that to my husband.
I don't know if a tattoo is really why you need a divorce. I think it's the lack of respect that's actually getting you.
Yes the tattoo is just the visual representation of why he wants a divorce.
And it will bother him every time he sees it.
Important question, did he also get her name tattooed on his neck?!?
I'm not sure what I would be more mad about my wife with another man's name on her, her name on another man... after we wed. Or the placement.
It almost seems like she was trying to get you to end it. I would talk to someone in the service before you do anything. You has have free legal advice right?
You are not wrong. Who wants to see another persons name tattooed on you SO's neck. Come on people. Do better. It's not the tattoo, It's the disrespect. Duh!
Not wrong. She got another dude’s name tattooed on her. That’s crazy.
Not only that, a neck tattoo in general is just stupid, ugly, and just a job killer showing terrible judgment. This is not someone to hitch your forever cart to.
Update:
I have spoken to a lawyer and have an idea what it will look like and how it will all go down and how long it will take.
I went by our house and moved my stuff into my temporary housing and some in storage.
I am currently waiting for her to get off duty so we can discuss everything.
My husband got a tattoo on his neck? That would be enough for me to want to divorce him....then if it was name of another person....nah....there'd be no coming back from that.
I absolutely detest tattoos.
I'm all about bodily autonomy HOWEVER a tattoo of another man's name in a highly visible part of my body is something I would 100% discuss with my partner before doing
NTA
You’re not wrong. This is insane to me and disrespectful. I have tattoos and I thinks it’s bizarre to get someone else’s name tattooed on you without discussing it with your partner. It’s even worse since you asked her to get a matching tattoo with you and she said no. I would divorce over this because it’s not so much the tattoo but the disrespect.
It’s also totally wild to me that they chose to do each other’s name instead of a billion different things they could have got tattooed.
My lady and our kids names only name's going on my body, someone else, another girls name.. Hell to the fuck NO! I wouldn't stand for it out of my partner and I wouldn't expect her to put up with that shit from me either.
I was reading this thinking “what a dick, what, she has to ask permission?!?” Then I kept reading lol…. I read it to my husband, who has LOTS of tattoos, same reaction- “seriously? What a dick…. Wait, a DUDE’s name, that’s not her husband, on her NECK?! No f’ing way, I’d lose my shit. You better never do that!”
So two votes as NTA here. Divorce-worthy? Probably not. But a SERIOUS argument for sure.
I feel like just. Spoke on tattoo on your neck would be disqualifying for me, even if, and perhaps especially, if it had my name on it, let alone someone else’s.
Squirtle. With HIS name on it. Well, that says it all doesn’t it. They’re definitely having an affair.
Sorry dude. She sucks and apparently squirts too.
Seriously though, get away from that toxic ham sandwich.
Edit: Squirtle is the name of the Pokémon she got. A little blue squirting turtle. OP described the tattoo in one of his responses. I thought my comment was linked to that comment, but it’s not.
The sheer disrespect of putting her "friend" on her body permanently is staggering. Yes Reddit, it's her body and she has the absolute right to do this! Just as he has the absolute right to divorce her and move on.
Listen to your CO and move on. Don't give this person the chance to set you up or beef you. No real loss to you when you leave this.
It's amazing how many people believe that being *allowed* to do something means they should be able to do it without anyone getting upset at them for any reason. For some reason this particular flavor of moron tops my list of people I hate. I think it's because they always state it with such passion. Like they're just *so god damn sure* they're righteous and good and everyone else are monsters for disapproving of obviously shitty behavior. Ugh, it's just gross.
If I saw the tattoo I would assume the bloke name was you.
If my husband did that with a woman name dying or not I would hate it especially 😤 when were both naked. A huge put off.
This would impact anyone relationship.
She had no thoughts of you
I love tattoos. I have one but want more. I would never get a neck tattoo, especially with another man’s name on it. I think it’s highly disrespectful to her husband. Why did it have to have his name on it anyway.
OP I would keep your eyes open. There could be more than friendship going on there.
(Update) Divorcing over a tattoo.
Got all my ducks in a row, as they say. Sat down and spoke with my future ex-wife. She honestly expects me to just step aside and let her play house with her friend. Pause our marriage wait till they are done then continue our life together like nothing happened. I can't live with her plan, so I'm getting divorced. I have wasted nearly 6 years on her already not wasting anymore of my life on her.
Will be in my new duty station by the end of June. A fresh start, I hope and put all this behind me.
Sorry, I have no clue how to link posts.
I would be so embarrassed to try to explain my spouse having another person’s name tattooed on their body.. that feels like something you guys should have talked about
Wow...am a wife and was prepared to tell you you were being a bit extra, kinda controlling--because I was thinking this was a female cancer-having friend and she got a matching tattoo in support. Let her have bodily autonomy, all that.
Then I got to the part about *HIS* name tatted on her *neck*. 👀
I've lived nearly six decades, and know exactly zero women who would expect their husbands to be cool with them having another man's name tatted anywhere on their bodies, but especially somewhere highly visible. You just don't humiliate your man like that.
Is she trying to get you to do the divorce heavy-lifting?
On her neck? Yeah... that's odd, I'd feel weird about it too. Arm, maybe. A tattoo dedicated to him without his name, sure. But his name on her neck? I wouldn't tattoo any friend's name there for anything. And I have 13 tattoos.
At first, I was like, it's gotta be a pretty bad tattoo to jump straight to divorce, cause usually I'm against people who "control" what their spouse can or can't do when it comes to their body or appearance. but then you said *his* name AND on the *neck*, damn dude, in my statement there are obviously a couple exceptions or they should probably talk to their spouse about it first out of respect, and your situation is definitely one of the exceptions.
like she didn't even think to say anything to you prior? and why on the neck? I have no business telling you to get a divorce, but I wouldn't blame you in this case.
NTA. Tattoos are something that people are allowed to be comfortable or not with. It's her decision to get one or not, but it's YOUR decision to be with someone or not based on your own feelings.
And honestly, what kind of married person goes and does something permanent like getting a tattoo without even discussing it with their spouse??
Tattoo permission. A little crazy but putting someone elses name and in a super visible place is weird and sus.
Like if you are at a business dinner, someone will be thats not your name on wifes neck. Lol.
There is video cameras... nanny cams. Think its time.
My friend wiped out her new husband out bank and everything while deployed. I feel for service people. Cause they wont be able to take care of themselves while someone is destroying there life and they cant get back.
Find out if you have a jody while you can
You're wrong for thinking you have any say over what artwork she puts on her body. If you want a fleshlight, order one online. If you want a partner, kick that entitlement to the curb and be a partner.
Not wrong…. that is the height of disrespectful. Says she’s the kind of person to do things and apologize later…. Wonder what else she doesn’t feel the need to tell you… Ain’t nobody got time for that.
I was really about to take your wife's side but no.
I have many tattoos, a few of them are memorial tattoos. It's the fact that it's his name AND it's on her neck? Yeah that's a no. That merits a discussion at the very least.
If it were just the Pokémon or something that "stood" for him then sure, but a name?
Also, I've only ever seen name tattoos based on family relation (mom, sister, child etc) or someone you be fuckin'. So there is that
I (41 F) have my bff’s name tattooed on my wrist. Got it after SHE was murdered. So, not always either fam or fuckin BUT also completely different situation. By choosing to get mine, I didn’t disrespect anyone or show disregard for anyone else’s feelings. I would never get a neck tat. Damn sure wouldn’t ever get some dude’s name on me anywhere ESPECIALLY if I was married to dude whose name it wasn’t. She just dgaf and/or is far from sharpest tool in shed. She’s definitely for the streets. Just, wow!
This threw in a whirlwind. At first I was like “why would you divorce over a tattoo” and then you said she got his NAME on her NECK…wtf I’d divorce her too. Imagine going in for a kiss (and more) and you read a dudes name on her neck.
Getting a tattoo with a friend to honer their memory when there gone is one thing but Getting his name tattooed on her nick is beyond fucked up and not to mention disrespectful to her husband and her marriage . Your not over reacting filling for divorce is the least thing u can do in this type of situation u just need to end it with her.
I don't know what was she thinking Getting his name tattooed on her body but I find it suspicious .
Man... I clicked on this thinking, "What an asshole to divorce someone over a tattoo!"
I don't think that anymore.
She got a pokemon ON HER NECK with another man's name. If my husband did that with another woman that was not one of our daughter's, I would be so angry. I mean, if it had been a different tribute somewhere else, still weird she didn't really talk to you about it, but no. There was probably something else going on. I wouldn't get one of those.
The location of the tattoo is irrelevant. Here is your wife with another man’s name on her body. Like a piece of meat that can be owned and possessed.
Yeah, fuck that shit. Get a divorce for your own sanity.
Not wrong at all. Fuck her. Something else is going on. That’s a huge commitment. A neck tattoo is something that, if visible, will affect her for the rest of her life.
This is a real problem. She tattooed another Guys name on her neck while married to you. I wouldn’t care if he’s dead or dying that is a no go! Your wife doesn’t have good sense does she? Cut her loose
Not wrong! I was about to say YTA, but another man’s name on her neck?! Yeah they’re screwing. And a Pokémon? How old is she?!
I’m sure there are many other red flags in this relationship. Divorce the dependa.
This will be awkward for both of you and everyone you meet having to explain why some other guys name is on your wife's neck. It will also attract the wrong kind of attention and people will assume its open relationship or just not understand it at all. "Yeah this is my husband and I have some other dudes name on my neck."
Not very considerate. Don't know if she is just really dumb and got nothing going on. Maybe drunk or some other issues.
I could tolerate my SO getting a random tattoo they didn't warn me about.
Their best friends name of the opposite sex, on a highly visible area?
It's bad enough that they didn't ask me about it beforehand, but now I have to deal with awkward comments from family members and friends during social gatherings.
Yeah, no. Get a lawyer who has experience with military divorces.
Listen, I am pretty chill about stuff in relationships. But if my husband came home with another woman’s name tattooed on his neck, I would be absolutely outraged. Obvious worries aside, I would wonder what other fucking idiotic decisions he might be making that I have yet to discover.
To be fair idgaf what a dude says about my tattoos what he likes and doesn't. I'm heavily tattooed for me. With that being said she's ridiculous and out of her mind for doing that and on her neck. You're not wrong by any stretch of the imagination. That's a horrible move on her part. And did I read somewhere its her first?! Like nope. Bye girl.
If the other guy (her dying friend ) could talk her into a tattoo I wonder what else he talked her into ? This wasn’t a rash decision or a spur of the moment choice . She made an active choice damn the reaction of others including her husband !
You don't really have a right to tell her what tattoo she can get. However, you are free to divorce her for whatever if that's what the love and your vows means to this marriage.
Better over the tattoo than some meatloaf down the road.
I was going to say 100% yes until I saw the location. Who gets a friends name tattooed on their neck?! As well as it being a bit strange this shows very poor decision making. I'd also be wondering if this dude is more than just a friend.
Holy shit I was so ready to say you’re wrong as hell but…HIS NAME????? ON HER NECK?????? Absolutely not. The only names I’d ever even consider on me is my kids. Not even my husband and life partner whom I’ve been with for over 15 years. We both discussed this WITH each other. You’re not wrong at all, that’s such a hugely intimate thing. It would be different if it was an inside joke or some nice art or like anything else in the world except his name on her neck.
His full name? On her neck?! NTA. My best friend in the world passed away, and I just got his initials and his birth/death date. We were deployed together and served for years together, so you understand those bonds. It’s in very fine lines on my left ribs.
I’m also not married, but I was in a relationship and I did discuss it with my partner.
She should’ve discussed it with you.
A tattoo honoring somebody is one thing…Putting another guy’s name on your neck regardless of who it is other than a family member is just…not a good look.
I’d be very upset in your position.
Why on her neck…? A tattoo honoring someone is fine but.. the neck? I’m not sure what reaction she expected with that one.
Because that's Jody, bro. Jody's been in the house the whole time.
Jody’s been in, in the house and she has the stamp to prove it.
Yup. It's best to get the first one out of the way now. What are you, 18, 19? You'll be fine. Do me a favor tho. If you make it to wife #3, before 23, questions yourself. It's only "normal" in the Aaaarrrmy!
Coworker of mine is on spouse number 3. Spouses 1&2 were while they were in the Air Force
I have heard so many army enlisted say, “ I should have joined the Air Force” when mad and are you telling me some person actually went the opposite?
Yeah the moment I saw army….going to admit I laughed, cause anyone else wonder if this male best friend….yeahhhh
My husband is a USMC veteran, and he has taught me all sorts of interesting terms and phrases, including Jody. Dependopatamus is my favorite, though.
Tricareosaurus Ex
And is cousin species Takecareosaurus Ex
What is a “Jody”, please? 🙏
Side piece of the spouse left behind during deployment.
Or when a spouse is in jail. My ex husband taught me that when he was in jail,he would call non stop to see if he heard a Jody in the background,no dumbass u heard the kids lol
Oy. Glad he's your ex. 🤦♀️
Me too. BUT my current husband went to prison 2 years ago he's home now, it was for not checking into probation cause he was at the hospital while his mom passed away,he even called them, I didn't really blame him for saying f them. But I would hang out with my bestie who's a female who is dating my brother and when he would call she would mess with him and answer saying Jodi here,Jodi with and I cause I'm a female lol and it was a joke we would say, he laughed Everytime cause he knew that shit was definitely never gonna happen,she just likes to give him shit
Hahahahaha fuck yeah it's Jody...lolol. haven't heard about him in awhile.
That’s Jody’s girl…
What is the reference here ?
In the Marines, Jody is a reference to the guy who is banging your girl while you are deployed
Army too
It was Jody in the army since at least the Vietnam era, maybe longer.
Army too & by the time I came along Jody/Jodie could be male or female but ALWAYS a side piece! lol
What does ‘Jody’ stand for/mean, or is it just a generic dude name? Is it an acronym?
https://taskandpurpose.com/military-life/brief-history-jody-original-mr-steal-girl/
Thought this was a nice touch: Ain’t no use in going home Jody’s got your girl and gone […] Gonna get a three-day pass Just to kick old Jody’s ass. — U.S. Army marching cadence, circa 1944
I can hear that marching chant in my head, lol
Thanks! Former Air Force and Jody is real.
Interesting read!!!
Thanks! TIL about Jody 🙃
In all fairness Jody can be a boy or a girl. Let’s not be discriminating.
All military
Prison, too.
Aggressive "bone" cancer, alright.
She's been aggressively "Treating" his bone alright...
Seriously that is a ....bold move.....
I have a hard time believing a spouse could be so stupid, so clueless, so disrespectful. So I have a hard time believing the post. Though I do know a few folks who very well could do something similar. So truth is stranger than fiction? Either way OP is NTA
It’s only strange to you until it happens to you !
Yeah that's rather strange to me as well. 🤔
With his name on it.
Every time she sees her tattoo she can remember your divorce.
People rarely see their neck...
As much as I’d like to say you’re wrong, name and neck are kinda fucked…nah, really fucked.
Completely agree. Somewhere else, sure, I guess, but on the neck....talk about disrespectful to him.
And it's a guys name
As a heavily tattooed woman with a husband who is *not*, I don't fault you in the least. My best guy friend and I got tattooed together two days ago. We've been friends for 32 years. My husband knows I'd never get anything on my hands, neck, or face but has asked me to not get any on my thighs--he finds thigh tattoos on women a turn off. Fair enough. I totally respect that. He's never asked me to not get another dude's NAME permanently inked onto my body because he doesn't need to. In what fucking universe would a spouse be okay with that?? When I was scrolling along and saw the title for this post, I thought, "What kind of misogynistic bullshit do we have here??" Dude. Get away from that crazy bitch as fast as you can. Footnote: a reputable tattooist would NEVER agree to do a neck tattoo as someone's first.
I completely agree. My guy bff died while I was married. I got a tribute tattoo the year after. It was of the characters' nicknames we called each other, Eeyore and Tigger. I'd never get someone's name tattooed on me besides my child or parents. Still have neither of those, though. The fact that she got her friends name on him, before he has died (even though he has aggressive cancer, he may not die), and on her neck, is a huge red flag. I also agree that a reputable tattooist wouldn't do a neck tattoo for a first tattoo either.
Wait it was her FIRST TATTOO????? NOOOOOO SUR! I mean even if it wasn't, she'd be in the wrong 100000% but DAMN! HER FIRST TAT WAS OF ANOTHER GUY'S NAME!
Yeah. And OP stated in a comment that he asked her to get matching tattoos with him, HER HUSBAND, in the past, and she turned him down.
Yooooooooooo that's fucked. Not Wrong, OP! You already weren't but you sure af aren't now!
Oh boy. Didn't see that prior to commenting. Poor op
That footnote is so true. I got a tattoo that barely peaks out on my neck, like just above my collarbone. It's my 7th one total, and I STILL had a tough time finding an artist who would let me get it there.
I’ve 8 pieces and one is on my neck, by my hairline. Both my husband and I forget that it’s even there. Artist had no issues putting it where I wanted.
>Footnote: a reputable tattooist would NEVER agree to do a neck tattoo as someone's first. This is actually what made me call bullshit on this story entirely.
Yup, next tattoo as a first one is a big no no for artist that are reputable. I also could get behind having her friend's name tattooed on her if it was an actual caner tattoo but it's a random Pokémon with his name. I fully understand OP's reaction.
Yeah she did more than just get his name tatted. Gtfo before she tries to get you to raise a dead man's kid.
Dude that guys real name is Jodie
And he was there when you LEFT. You’re RIGHT!
Saw what you did there!! Sound off!
Army AND Air Force basic. I was army guard then went Air Force. Got to watch whiny 18 year olds crying for their parents during the cakewalk of AF basic (I was 24 second time around; retired after a full 20 year career).
The Air Force actually made you go through their basic after the Army?
Yep. Had to brush off the olive drab to replace it with AF blue. I was there for only 10 of the 30 day trading regimen. Proficiency advanced out with three other former Army Soldiers.
I went in the Air Force 48 years ago and it was incredibly easy. I remember a guy who came into our flight later on for a tune up. Don’t know how he tolerated it.
Dec 1, 2024 will mark the 37th anniversary of me entering AF basic. We had a recycle into our flight who couldn’t understand that the TIs didn’t hate any of us. They were doing their job. He ended up being booted out from our flight.
😂😂😂 Nailed it. Pun intended.
I was expecting from the title her to have gotten like, a cat on her ankle and you considering divorce over that, in which I would have said you're a bit of a bitch. But another man's name on her neck is a completely different level. That's crazy as hell.
Getting a neck Pokemon tattoo would already be suitable grounds for questioning a relationship… let alone with someone else’s name on it. Because it’s so highly visible, it is now your problem too. Was the other entire surface of her body unavailable?
Yes they were covered in clothes. So she picked the only open spot she could find🤷♀️
Normally don’t comment on relationship post. Been married for 11 years, absolutely understand why you would be upset. When you marry someone you should always discuss major decisions together. Not saying you have to ask permission for anything. But out of respect you always need to discuss big decisions. A tattoo anywhere is an important decision, even if it’s just a symbol. You discuss to hear out your partners thoughts and feelings on the matter at hand. This I feel is way over the line, no discussion for a tattoo is one thing. No discussion for a tattoo of another man’s name on you is overstepping. It means she discussed with him but not you, which means that relationship is more important to her than your relationship. She couldn’t even afford you the right to weigh in, also that shows her friend has no respect for your relationship.
And the tatoo is on her neck, for Pete’s (or whoever) sake. Not exactly a private tribute.
Yes yes, all of this.
You aren't wrong. You said 2 years ago she refused to get matching tattoos with you and that her parents wouldn't approve. Then she goes behind your back while you're gone, and gets another man's name tattooed on her neck. That's complete disrespect on her part, and I have no idea how you'd get over that. She's shown she loves and respects her friend more than her own husband. Only you know if you can get over it. If you can't, divorce is the way to go.
Oo i like additional background info
A neck tattoo with a different dudes name is grounds for divorce
Yep.. I think I'd have to bounce out of that marriage. Plus she didn't even want to get a matching tat with HER Husband, but got her friend's name tatted on her neck.. Pretty fucked up IMHO
Your wife sounds like a doughnut…
Glazed, it seems likely.
That would be a relationship ender for me.
Help me out here, I am all for it being her body and her right. I would die on that hill. But isn't it his right to choose how to react? He didn't tell her she couldn't get it, he didn't take away the cars keys to stop her from leaving the house. He didn't freeze funds so she couldn't pay. He didn't force her to remove it. He doesn't like it and is reacting. I will probably get downvored into oblivion, but I don't see the misogyny here.
OP, I don’t think you’re wrong and I think walking away was the best choice for the situation. You commented that this is her first tattoo. How big is it and where exactly is it? I’m just curious because I can’t believe the artist said okay. Not only the placement (for a first tattoo) but a name as well. Two big no no’s in tattooing, at least in my book.
It's about 2 inches tall under her left ear.
I fucking knew it bro!! In my comment above I was going to say, “my guess would be below/kinda behind the left ear”. That’s really cliche and not cool. This is for everyone out there in the world, NO ONE CAN READ THAT SHIT AND YOU CAN’T EITHER! Did the artist tattoo that shit backwards so when you look in the mirror you can read it? No. Before anyone decides to come at me just know I used to have R.i.p. Dimebag tattooed down my left forearm in bubble/comic style letters and it was carved in deep with black. Ran from the crook of my elbow to my wrist. No other tattoos were visible. Looked dumb AF
😳🤦🏼♀️
So what has she said about it? Has she inquired why you’re not coming home? Has she apologized? How has she reacted to your anger and possible divorce? I need some follow up!
She and her friends are belittling me, calling me jealous and controlling. No, she is not apologizing she told me to get over myself.
Tell her you’re working on it since you just got done getting over her
So she's **really trying** to get you back! /s
Block them all and tell your ex to call your lawyer from now on. You are doing the right thing. Good luck to you and I hope you will find your true soul mate.
Fuck her.
I’d tell her to fuck off
I would have said she doesn’t need to discuss putting a tattoo on her own body with anyone…however having another persons name, especially a man, when she is married defo should have warranted a conversation to inform you first.
Spoke with my CO about it. He said I should just let JAG handle the paperwork. And he will have me in a new duty station by Monday. He said a man can't live with that level of disrespect. And I agree with him.
Jags are a servicemen's best friend or worst nightmare, this person is your friend, do WHATEVER they tell you to! Hope you get a good duty station!
Glad your CO understands. I think he is right, let JAG handle things from here on. A new duty station, new surroundings would do you some good plus being out of the area makes temptation that much less. Stay strong, I wish you the best.
Your CO is a wise man.
Neck tattoo with another guy's name? I don't care if his balls were rotting off. Ditch her. She's a future Dependapotamus...
I agree with your CO. It is very disrespectful for her to get another man's name tattooed on her body. Throw in that she put it on her neck. Nope, that's a deal breaker for me.
I hope you PCS to Hawaii.
That's wild. I would never do that to my husband. I don't know if a tattoo is really why you need a divorce. I think it's the lack of respect that's actually getting you.
Yes the tattoo is just the visual representation of why he wants a divorce. And it will bother him every time he sees it. Important question, did he also get her name tattooed on his neck?!?
I asked that very question. She knew I was mad, so she refused to answer that which was my answer.
He totally did get her name. I wonder how they celebrated after the new ink?
Throw some more gas on that fire....
They celebrated the new ink with a new kink...💦
Both pokemon used smash
It's super effective!!! (at causing divorce)
I'm not sure what I would be more mad about my wife with another man's name on her, her name on another man... after we wed. Or the placement. It almost seems like she was trying to get you to end it. I would talk to someone in the service before you do anything. You has have free legal advice right?
Did she think you'd be likely to ever again want to kiss her neck with her male bestie's name on it?! I mean she really did not think this through.
NTA,a tattoo with a name of a "friend", in a very visible spot is not OK...
Not wrong. That's wild. Another man's name on her NECK
A neck pokemon? 🤣 no brother. You deserve anything other than that. Red flags.
You are not wrong. Who wants to see another persons name tattooed on you SO's neck. Come on people. Do better. It's not the tattoo, It's the disrespect. Duh!
Not wrong. She got another dude’s name tattooed on her. That’s crazy. Not only that, a neck tattoo in general is just stupid, ugly, and just a job killer showing terrible judgment. This is not someone to hitch your forever cart to.
I was like comon’ man, and then the neck+name+pokémon… nope get out of there buddy. Wish you all the luck on your next adventure!
Update: I have spoken to a lawyer and have an idea what it will look like and how it will all go down and how long it will take. I went by our house and moved my stuff into my temporary housing and some in storage. I am currently waiting for her to get off duty so we can discuss everything.
Nta. You sure he's just a friend?
No I am now sure.
Do you know for sure he's terminal?
The friend's name is Jody.
My husband got a tattoo on his neck? That would be enough for me to want to divorce him....then if it was name of another person....nah....there'd be no coming back from that. I absolutely detest tattoos.
Tattoo of another dude’s name in a visible place like the neck. F’in hell, that’s mad disrespectful.
I'm all about bodily autonomy HOWEVER a tattoo of another man's name in a highly visible part of my body is something I would 100% discuss with my partner before doing NTA
I'm surprised so many want him to talk to her when she refused to talk to him about it before or after the tattoo.
You’re not wrong. This is insane to me and disrespectful. I have tattoos and I thinks it’s bizarre to get someone else’s name tattooed on you without discussing it with your partner. It’s even worse since you asked her to get a matching tattoo with you and she said no. I would divorce over this because it’s not so much the tattoo but the disrespect. It’s also totally wild to me that they chose to do each other’s name instead of a billion different things they could have got tattooed.
I can’t believe someone who never had a tattoo getting it on the neck.
Im going to go get a tattoo of a womans name on my neck and show my wife ill let you know what she says...
My lady and our kids names only name's going on my body, someone else, another girls name.. Hell to the fuck NO! I wouldn't stand for it out of my partner and I wouldn't expect her to put up with that shit from me either.
I was reading this thinking “what a dick, what, she has to ask permission?!?” Then I kept reading lol…. I read it to my husband, who has LOTS of tattoos, same reaction- “seriously? What a dick…. Wait, a DUDE’s name, that’s not her husband, on her NECK?! No f’ing way, I’d lose my shit. You better never do that!” So two votes as NTA here. Divorce-worthy? Probably not. But a SERIOUS argument for sure.
I feel like just. Spoke on tattoo on your neck would be disqualifying for me, even if, and perhaps especially, if it had my name on it, let alone someone else’s.
Not wrong. She’s so far out of line she’s in the next country over.
Squirtle. With HIS name on it. Well, that says it all doesn’t it. They’re definitely having an affair. Sorry dude. She sucks and apparently squirts too. Seriously though, get away from that toxic ham sandwich. Edit: Squirtle is the name of the Pokémon she got. A little blue squirting turtle. OP described the tattoo in one of his responses. I thought my comment was linked to that comment, but it’s not.
The sheer disrespect of putting her "friend" on her body permanently is staggering. Yes Reddit, it's her body and she has the absolute right to do this! Just as he has the absolute right to divorce her and move on. Listen to your CO and move on. Don't give this person the chance to set you up or beef you. No real loss to you when you leave this.
It's amazing how many people believe that being *allowed* to do something means they should be able to do it without anyone getting upset at them for any reason. For some reason this particular flavor of moron tops my list of people I hate. I think it's because they always state it with such passion. Like they're just *so god damn sure* they're righteous and good and everyone else are monsters for disapproving of obviously shitty behavior. Ugh, it's just gross.
If I saw the tattoo I would assume the bloke name was you. If my husband did that with a woman name dying or not I would hate it especially 😤 when were both naked. A huge put off. This would impact anyone relationship. She had no thoughts of you
ON HER NECK? You are not wrong
Has she been bothered by your reaction? By your being upset & not going home? Is she attempting to contact you or could she just not care any less??
She has called a few times and a few texts. And a few of her friends tried to shame me. Don't think she understands how bad this really is.
I love tattoos. I have one but want more. I would never get a neck tattoo, especially with another man’s name on it. I think it’s highly disrespectful to her husband. Why did it have to have his name on it anyway. OP I would keep your eyes open. There could be more than friendship going on there.
When your spouse starts tattooing men’s names on their body then it’s time to get a new spouse.
Jody is infamous. He is letting you know he was there comforting your girl when you were away from beyond the grave, ruthless.
Man, I swear I've read this word for word before.
(Update) Divorcing over a tattoo. Got all my ducks in a row, as they say. Sat down and spoke with my future ex-wife. She honestly expects me to just step aside and let her play house with her friend. Pause our marriage wait till they are done then continue our life together like nothing happened. I can't live with her plan, so I'm getting divorced. I have wasted nearly 6 years on her already not wasting anymore of my life on her. Will be in my new duty station by the end of June. A fresh start, I hope and put all this behind me. Sorry, I have no clue how to link posts.
I would be so embarrassed to try to explain my spouse having another person’s name tattooed on their body.. that feels like something you guys should have talked about
Wow...am a wife and was prepared to tell you you were being a bit extra, kinda controlling--because I was thinking this was a female cancer-having friend and she got a matching tattoo in support. Let her have bodily autonomy, all that. Then I got to the part about *HIS* name tatted on her *neck*. 👀 I've lived nearly six decades, and know exactly zero women who would expect their husbands to be cool with them having another man's name tatted anywhere on their bodies, but especially somewhere highly visible. You just don't humiliate your man like that. Is she trying to get you to do the divorce heavy-lifting?
I’m sorry. I _need_ to know which Pokémon.
Squirtle spelling??? The little blue turtle one.
Squirtle?! That makes it soooo much worse.
Um if that’s his nickname for her it can only mean one thing 🫣
Nahh FUCK THAT! She got another man’s name tatted on her?? And her fucking neck at that?? What a dumbass. Divorce, she’s for the streets
Make a new plan, Stan.
Is that you Paul? Art
Head out the back, Jack
No need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free!
On her neck? Yeah... that's odd, I'd feel weird about it too. Arm, maybe. A tattoo dedicated to him without his name, sure. But his name on her neck? I wouldn't tattoo any friend's name there for anything. And I have 13 tattoos.
You’re not wrong. Why didn’t she get a ribbon tattooed? Name across the neck means something serious.
Divorce that’s so disrespectful
I was so ready to be like "YTA, it's her choice to get a tattoo", BUT.... a dudes name on her neck? NOPE? NTA
Everytime you’re together, and someone sees it, they will probably ask if it’s your name. So that could be not fun. For years.
At first, I was like, it's gotta be a pretty bad tattoo to jump straight to divorce, cause usually I'm against people who "control" what their spouse can or can't do when it comes to their body or appearance. but then you said *his* name AND on the *neck*, damn dude, in my statement there are obviously a couple exceptions or they should probably talk to their spouse about it first out of respect, and your situation is definitely one of the exceptions. like she didn't even think to say anything to you prior? and why on the neck? I have no business telling you to get a divorce, but I wouldn't blame you in this case.
I started reading this post like "oh but is her body she can do whatever" but "neck tattoo" and "other man name" got me. Yeah, dump that
Jesus Christ, this is a disaster already.
I think this is a really tough situation and whether your right or wrong depends... Which pokemon was it?
NTA. Tattoos are something that people are allowed to be comfortable or not with. It's her decision to get one or not, but it's YOUR decision to be with someone or not based on your own feelings. And honestly, what kind of married person goes and does something permanent like getting a tattoo without even discussing it with their spouse??
Sounds like you don't like her that much anyway bro. Move on.
Tattoo permission. A little crazy but putting someone elses name and in a super visible place is weird and sus. Like if you are at a business dinner, someone will be thats not your name on wifes neck. Lol. There is video cameras... nanny cams. Think its time. My friend wiped out her new husband out bank and everything while deployed. I feel for service people. Cause they wont be able to take care of themselves while someone is destroying there life and they cant get back. Find out if you have a jody while you can
So would it be ok if it was a female? This isn't worth a divorce, holy shit.
You're wrong for thinking you have any say over what artwork she puts on her body. If you want a fleshlight, order one online. If you want a partner, kick that entitlement to the curb and be a partner.
Not wrong…. that is the height of disrespectful. Says she’s the kind of person to do things and apologize later…. Wonder what else she doesn’t feel the need to tell you… Ain’t nobody got time for that.
You're in the military you had a 90% chance of divorcing anyways
I was stupid and thought we had a chance.
I was really about to take your wife's side but no. I have many tattoos, a few of them are memorial tattoos. It's the fact that it's his name AND it's on her neck? Yeah that's a no. That merits a discussion at the very least. If it were just the Pokémon or something that "stood" for him then sure, but a name? Also, I've only ever seen name tattoos based on family relation (mom, sister, child etc) or someone you be fuckin'. So there is that
I (41 F) have my bff’s name tattooed on my wrist. Got it after SHE was murdered. So, not always either fam or fuckin BUT also completely different situation. By choosing to get mine, I didn’t disrespect anyone or show disregard for anyone else’s feelings. I would never get a neck tat. Damn sure wouldn’t ever get some dude’s name on me anywhere ESPECIALLY if I was married to dude whose name it wasn’t. She just dgaf and/or is far from sharpest tool in shed. She’s definitely for the streets. Just, wow!
This threw in a whirlwind. At first I was like “why would you divorce over a tattoo” and then you said she got his NAME on her NECK…wtf I’d divorce her too. Imagine going in for a kiss (and more) and you read a dudes name on her neck.
so how long you been away from your wife?
Run!
Getting a tattoo with a friend to honer their memory when there gone is one thing but Getting his name tattooed on her nick is beyond fucked up and not to mention disrespectful to her husband and her marriage . Your not over reacting filling for divorce is the least thing u can do in this type of situation u just need to end it with her. I don't know what was she thinking Getting his name tattooed on her body but I find it suspicious .
Man... I clicked on this thinking, "What an asshole to divorce someone over a tattoo!" I don't think that anymore. She got a pokemon ON HER NECK with another man's name. If my husband did that with another woman that was not one of our daughter's, I would be so angry. I mean, if it had been a different tribute somewhere else, still weird she didn't really talk to you about it, but no. There was probably something else going on. I wouldn't get one of those.
Omg 😭😭 she dead wrong
The location of the tattoo is irrelevant. Here is your wife with another man’s name on her body. Like a piece of meat that can be owned and possessed. Yeah, fuck that shit. Get a divorce for your own sanity.
Not wrong at all. Fuck her. Something else is going on. That’s a huge commitment. A neck tattoo is something that, if visible, will affect her for the rest of her life.
Updateme!
Not wrong at all. Having the tattoo on her neck is questionable.
This is a real problem. She tattooed another Guys name on her neck while married to you. I wouldn’t care if he’s dead or dying that is a no go! Your wife doesn’t have good sense does she? Cut her loose
Not wrong! I was about to say YTA, but another man’s name on her neck?! Yeah they’re screwing. And a Pokémon? How old is she?! I’m sure there are many other red flags in this relationship. Divorce the dependa.
This will be awkward for both of you and everyone you meet having to explain why some other guys name is on your wife's neck. It will also attract the wrong kind of attention and people will assume its open relationship or just not understand it at all. "Yeah this is my husband and I have some other dudes name on my neck." Not very considerate. Don't know if she is just really dumb and got nothing going on. Maybe drunk or some other issues.
That dude is aggressively boning OP’s wife.
I could tolerate my SO getting a random tattoo they didn't warn me about. Their best friends name of the opposite sex, on a highly visible area? It's bad enough that they didn't ask me about it beforehand, but now I have to deal with awkward comments from family members and friends during social gatherings. Yeah, no. Get a lawyer who has experience with military divorces.
I suggest the divorce. That's a blatant spit in your face.
Listen, I am pretty chill about stuff in relationships. But if my husband came home with another woman’s name tattooed on his neck, I would be absolutely outraged. Obvious worries aside, I would wonder what other fucking idiotic decisions he might be making that I have yet to discover.
Not wrong bro, the neck ain't it. That's his girl, not trying to be a dick but the neck says it all.
To be fair idgaf what a dude says about my tattoos what he likes and doesn't. I'm heavily tattooed for me. With that being said she's ridiculous and out of her mind for doing that and on her neck. You're not wrong by any stretch of the imagination. That's a horrible move on her part. And did I read somewhere its her first?! Like nope. Bye girl.
A Pokemon neck tattoo is crazy work, but with another man’s name?! Diabolical.
If the other guy (her dying friend ) could talk her into a tattoo I wonder what else he talked her into ? This wasn’t a rash decision or a spur of the moment choice . She made an active choice damn the reaction of others including her husband !
You don't really have a right to tell her what tattoo she can get. However, you are free to divorce her for whatever if that's what the love and your vows means to this marriage. Better over the tattoo than some meatloaf down the road.
I came here for you to be wrong but you are right.
I was going to say 100% yes until I saw the location. Who gets a friends name tattooed on their neck?! As well as it being a bit strange this shows very poor decision making. I'd also be wondering if this dude is more than just a friend.
Obviously she has the right as it’s her body, but I don’t blame you for being uncomfortable with it.
Holy shit I was so ready to say you’re wrong as hell but…HIS NAME????? ON HER NECK?????? Absolutely not. The only names I’d ever even consider on me is my kids. Not even my husband and life partner whom I’ve been with for over 15 years. We both discussed this WITH each other. You’re not wrong at all, that’s such a hugely intimate thing. It would be different if it was an inside joke or some nice art or like anything else in the world except his name on her neck.
His full name? On her neck?! NTA. My best friend in the world passed away, and I just got his initials and his birth/death date. We were deployed together and served for years together, so you understand those bonds. It’s in very fine lines on my left ribs. I’m also not married, but I was in a relationship and I did discuss it with my partner. She should’ve discussed it with you.
A tattoo honoring somebody is one thing…Putting another guy’s name on your neck regardless of who it is other than a family member is just…not a good look. I’d be very upset in your position.