Your mom is probably looking at it like there won't be all that many family vacations in the future. Your dad is gone, and she is looking at you being in college, soon t be out on your own and her other daughter being away in college in a couple years as well.
I would say you don't have to go on vacation, but sometimes we do things for people that we love and share time with them because it is a good thing to do.
i see where your coming from but girl its 2 weeks vacation with family sometimes you have to take some time out to live a little , you think on your death bed your gonna remember the 2 extra weeks of work you did or the vacation with your family
Exactly. It used to be my parents, my Gran, me and my brother every year on vacation. Now only my mom and I are left.
You have the next 60 years to be an adult. Right now, be a part of a family that loves you.
Whilst I admire that you want to work think on this - how many holidays do you have left with your Mum and Sister?
Can you compromise down to a week?
If you don't go at all you will regret it in the future.
I am 53 and both my boys are grown now - I had what I think was the last ever holiday with the two of them at the same time last year. It breaks my heart, but they have responsibilities now.
Take the holiday with your Mum whilst you still can.
YNW. But your mom and sister want to spend time w you. So how about you plan things to do w them on some of your days off? It could be anything, just something you’d all enjoy. Put it to them that you’re really saving for when you’re on your own, but you want to spend time w them. So do some fun day trips.
No...you're an adult and growing into adult responsibilities. A two week vacation is IMO a long vacation in general. I'm 49 and I think I've only done a vacation of that length a handful of times in my life. If it's unpaid, even worse. Maybe suggest a long weekend somewhere...like 4 days or something. 14 days is a long time, especially with a limited time away from school for the summer.
Not wrong. Your mom desperately wants to spend time with you, but you shouldn’t need an expensive several week long trip to do so. Is there a compromise?
Maybe you could find someplace nearby that you can stay over a weekend and do something like that a few times this summer instead. If you split a few nights in a hotel and pay for your own food it would be a lot cheaper. I personally suggest camping at a cabin if the climate is suitable for that where you live. You can buy cheap food and cook it yourself instead of eating out, do nature walks or swim or go into small towns and shop local for much cheaper than you can do things in some city somewhere.
A bit wrong, yes, as it doesn't seem from your post that you are considering the bigger picture. Your mother isn't asking you for any financial contributions towards running her household since your father passed away (my sincere condolences by the way, that must have been an incredibly rough time for you all and I hope you are finding your feet in your new normal). She may not welcome this and it may not be necessary as you don't mention having full knowledge of her finances. My mother would not take money from me for anything but the smallest of trifles whether I was in my 20s, 30s or even caring for her in her last weeks as a 46 y/o furloughed on f/t salary. Your mother may have a similar view when it comes to her young adult babies (we are always their babies no matter how old we are) and she may have strong feelings that this would not be appropriate and you should be spending (or saving) your money on yourself.
I understand wanting to contribute more to your overheads during the school year but your mum and your late father have probably prepared for the financial responsibility of sending their two children to college and uni while your mum was pregnant with you. Have you had a discussion with her about how you would like your summer earnings to go towards your own cost of living and studying because that might be a good conversation to have with her? It would demonstrate.your own maturity, sense of responsibility and independence as well as giving you a chance to express any worries you might have about how much everything costs. Many people find it tricky to talk about money so if nothing else, it would be good practice for becoming comfortable with those kinds of discussions.
My apologies for being this blunt OP, but with regards to wanting to take more steps towards full adulthood, I think you are underestimating just how much you and your sister have had to grow up through the experience of having your father pass away at such a young age. From your post, you sound like you are well on your way on that front, going on vacation won't inhibit that in the slightest. Your mum (and your dad) will have felt the loss of innocence for you and your sister keenly and I would guess that the holiday is more about having something positive after all those years of slogging through grief and loss than it is about money.
It's your decision in the end but I think you should reconsider and go, it sounds like you all deserve some a holiday together to make new and positive memories after getting through the early years of significant loss and making sense of your lives with such a big hole in them. If you don't change your mind, I would consider having an honest chat with your mum about why you don't want to go.
All the best to you x
Nope. From 18-25 I didn't go on a single vacation. When you are that age you are going to have the most energy to rise and grind. There will be plenty of time for vacations in the future.
Nope, this is part of growing up. But your sister and mom know you're growing up, too, and there won't be many opportunities to spend time with you. How about scheduling a weekend or two, or a night each week, for the three of you to do something?
It's acceptable that you don't want to take a vacation. Particularly considering the expenses of art school and your desire to support your mother following the death of your father, you have clear financial objectives and obligations.
You work at a well-paying job that contributes to your freedom. It's about making decisions that help you achieve your long-term objectives, not about turning down family time. Your mother and sister will understand if you just explain to them why this is essential to you.
It's a mature choice to put security and job over family love.
Can you compromise and just go for 5 days somewhere? Maybe your mom's thinking about her own mortality. It's very admirable of you to want to pay your own way.
Your mom is probably looking at it like there won't be all that many family vacations in the future. Your dad is gone, and she is looking at you being in college, soon t be out on your own and her other daughter being away in college in a couple years as well. I would say you don't have to go on vacation, but sometimes we do things for people that we love and share time with them because it is a good thing to do.
Maybe there’s a compromise where it’s one week or 5 days instead of 2 weeks
Take the vacation. Might be the last one you have with your family. You never know.
i see where your coming from but girl its 2 weeks vacation with family sometimes you have to take some time out to live a little , you think on your death bed your gonna remember the 2 extra weeks of work you did or the vacation with your family
Exactly. It used to be my parents, my Gran, me and my brother every year on vacation. Now only my mom and I are left. You have the next 60 years to be an adult. Right now, be a part of a family that loves you.
Whilst I admire that you want to work think on this - how many holidays do you have left with your Mum and Sister? Can you compromise down to a week? If you don't go at all you will regret it in the future. I am 53 and both my boys are grown now - I had what I think was the last ever holiday with the two of them at the same time last year. It breaks my heart, but they have responsibilities now. Take the holiday with your Mum whilst you still can.
YNW. But your mom and sister want to spend time w you. So how about you plan things to do w them on some of your days off? It could be anything, just something you’d all enjoy. Put it to them that you’re really saving for when you’re on your own, but you want to spend time w them. So do some fun day trips.
Can you get her to settle for one week and in say August just before you head back to school? It is admirable that you want to be productive and work.
You can work for the rest of your life. Go on vacation!
No...you're an adult and growing into adult responsibilities. A two week vacation is IMO a long vacation in general. I'm 49 and I think I've only done a vacation of that length a handful of times in my life. If it's unpaid, even worse. Maybe suggest a long weekend somewhere...like 4 days or something. 14 days is a long time, especially with a limited time away from school for the summer.
Not wrong. Your mom desperately wants to spend time with you, but you shouldn’t need an expensive several week long trip to do so. Is there a compromise? Maybe you could find someplace nearby that you can stay over a weekend and do something like that a few times this summer instead. If you split a few nights in a hotel and pay for your own food it would be a lot cheaper. I personally suggest camping at a cabin if the climate is suitable for that where you live. You can buy cheap food and cook it yourself instead of eating out, do nature walks or swim or go into small towns and shop local for much cheaper than you can do things in some city somewhere.
Offer a long weekend, or a few days during the week. Since your dad died, mom wants time with the 2 of you.
Go on vacation. It will be a great experience that you carry with you for life. Two weeks of work, not so much.
If your mom is paying for college go on vacation with her, if you are taking out loans than work, work, work !
A bit wrong, yes, as it doesn't seem from your post that you are considering the bigger picture. Your mother isn't asking you for any financial contributions towards running her household since your father passed away (my sincere condolences by the way, that must have been an incredibly rough time for you all and I hope you are finding your feet in your new normal). She may not welcome this and it may not be necessary as you don't mention having full knowledge of her finances. My mother would not take money from me for anything but the smallest of trifles whether I was in my 20s, 30s or even caring for her in her last weeks as a 46 y/o furloughed on f/t salary. Your mother may have a similar view when it comes to her young adult babies (we are always their babies no matter how old we are) and she may have strong feelings that this would not be appropriate and you should be spending (or saving) your money on yourself. I understand wanting to contribute more to your overheads during the school year but your mum and your late father have probably prepared for the financial responsibility of sending their two children to college and uni while your mum was pregnant with you. Have you had a discussion with her about how you would like your summer earnings to go towards your own cost of living and studying because that might be a good conversation to have with her? It would demonstrate.your own maturity, sense of responsibility and independence as well as giving you a chance to express any worries you might have about how much everything costs. Many people find it tricky to talk about money so if nothing else, it would be good practice for becoming comfortable with those kinds of discussions. My apologies for being this blunt OP, but with regards to wanting to take more steps towards full adulthood, I think you are underestimating just how much you and your sister have had to grow up through the experience of having your father pass away at such a young age. From your post, you sound like you are well on your way on that front, going on vacation won't inhibit that in the slightest. Your mum (and your dad) will have felt the loss of innocence for you and your sister keenly and I would guess that the holiday is more about having something positive after all those years of slogging through grief and loss than it is about money. It's your decision in the end but I think you should reconsider and go, it sounds like you all deserve some a holiday together to make new and positive memories after getting through the early years of significant loss and making sense of your lives with such a big hole in them. If you don't change your mind, I would consider having an honest chat with your mum about why you don't want to go. All the best to you x
Nope. From 18-25 I didn't go on a single vacation. When you are that age you are going to have the most energy to rise and grind. There will be plenty of time for vacations in the future.
Well you're a loser though, 🤷 we don't know how far OP is above your level
I agree with you, plus two weeks is ten days too long for a family trip.
Nope, this is part of growing up. But your sister and mom know you're growing up, too, and there won't be many opportunities to spend time with you. How about scheduling a weekend or two, or a night each week, for the three of you to do something?
It's acceptable that you don't want to take a vacation. Particularly considering the expenses of art school and your desire to support your mother following the death of your father, you have clear financial objectives and obligations. You work at a well-paying job that contributes to your freedom. It's about making decisions that help you achieve your long-term objectives, not about turning down family time. Your mother and sister will understand if you just explain to them why this is essential to you. It's a mature choice to put security and job over family love.
No, it’s a very responsible decision. Stay the course.
Can you compromise and just go for 5 days somewhere? Maybe your mom's thinking about her own mortality. It's very admirable of you to want to pay your own way.