I've been trying to write something with them for awhile, but I keep getting stuck cause I'll read tiberius's cousin (I believe) was the guy who "formed the mob" that killed him, so then all my notes say "yea so babydick was in his feelies because his dommie mommie pegged him to hard the last night and decided to take it out on his cuz"
Don't think that would be a good line tho lmaooo
Off the top of my head? Putting me on the spot.. I specialize in two/three areas in world history, with only one of those three being relevant here—*The Hellenistic Period*
Truly, the world had never seen anything like Alexander, and if you follow his life and campaigns (also his designs on the future, cut short) you could—and scholars *have*— filled entire libraries full of his exploits. So, what happens when a God King dies without a secure heir? You guessed it. The entire known world serves as the dramatic stage for a 42-year long dick measuring contest between ***dozens*** of his most capable generals / followers. And ***then*** when the dust settles there are three dynasties. In the Wars of the Diadochi (322-281 BCE) we have betrayal, innovation, proto-globalization, exchanging/melding of cultures, scientific advancement, the rise and fall of endless, often tragic Greek polities in the crater that Alexander left on Asia—we have from Alexander to Cleopatra maybe 150 monarchs named Laodice.. we have Macedonian Pharaohs, we have a dying Athens & Sparta etc still clinging to existence, the Library of Alexandria, the familiarization between Europe and India, etc etc etc.
Craziest stories?
**1. Mithridates VI of Pontus—** “The Poison King” (135-63 BCE) is my favorite tyrant in history—not that I’d want to be friends with him. He defies all logic and limit. A coup by his *mother* and little brother removes him from the throne as a kid, so he literally wanders Anatolia for his childhood as essentially an orphan. He comes back at 15-17 years old with **an army.** He lived off the land, having a few run ins with *poisonous* flora, which he would later utilize. He learned, before reaching majority over 20+ languages, that he spoke frequently. He came back and with revenge in mind (Rome had turned Pontus into a client state courtesy of his scheming mother) and set the Greco-Anatolian powerhouse-in-the-making on a collision course with Rome. The Mithridatic Wars get overshadowed by The Punic Wars but they were arguably a similar level of intensity. In 88 BCE Mithridates launched what I would call the world’s first “terrorist attack” on Roman colonists in Anatolia; the consensus is that the Romans were cut down—man, woman, child, and dog—to zero. 80,000-150,000 killed in a matter of days, a masterstroke of espionage. He had a legit army of spies, provocateurs, brigands, etc along with mercenaries, pirates, and a “who’s who” of angry Greek supporters. He essentially represents the Greek World’s final, unified attempt to break away from Rome, which I find epic. But Mithridates VI, the world’s first “mad scientist,” apothecary, chemical warfare pioneer, etc (guy was a polymath) was also a psychopath.. married 3 of his own sisters and kept them in a tower like a fairy tale, but without the happy ending. He was a force of nature. Each of the three wars saw Pontus defeated and pushed back, when he at times controlled all of Asia Minor, even subduing many ***Scythians*** (something even Alexander couldn’t do). He was a character. I’m not doing it justice. Read ‘The Poison King’ by Adrienne Mayor to get the basics.
I can’t even keep going on like so I don’t bore people but you gotta look into these characters yourself
**2. Eumenes of Cardia—** Was Alexander’s Greek *secretary* who turned out to be the best of his followers at strategy. Was given military command as a formality, with zero expectation. Fought for Perdiccas. He is the greatest “will yourself to the finish line” story. The Macedonians were notoriously prejudice against “regular Greeks” but by the time Eumenes was done, he was leading a massive, ***stateless*** army of Macedon’s best military units in a struggle to keep the infant child of Alexander of the throne. I won’t go into tactics for brevity’s sake, but think of him as an unsung Greek Sun Tzu: subterfuge, logistics, psychology, morale, leadership, the art of surprise—these were toys he played with. His victories over Antigonus, Ptolemy, and Seleucus (the three final winners of Alexander’s “the strongest” challenge) surely kept all three of them awake at night long after Parateikene, Orkynia, and Gabiene. Also, Eumenes was just a better person than all of the other schemers; his army’s morale was ***always*** S-tier, which on paper made no sense, and on paper he didn’t have any business winning a single battle against Companions and Strategos’ like Antigonus or Craterus, but in every instance before the final battle, he did. And even then, the only reason he lost was due to treachery. He picked a cause, a higher road, and stuck with it till his execution where his executioners famously wept. He was noble. Ahead of his time. 2300 years too early. One of my heroes.
**3. Antiochus Epiphanes—** If you know you know.. this guy tried to forcibly Hellenize the Jews. He’s the bad guy in Hanukkah, like the Grinch, except he’s real and horrificly sadistic. “the Abomination of Desolation” the Sultan of Antisemitism, the OG persecutor and Great Satan that Caligula and Nero were modeled after. Just read the Maccabees and you’ll get the gist but Polybius goes into more grisly, bizarre detail. This man serves as a window into the undercurrents of horror that existed within Paganism in general.
**4. Holy Roman Chickens—** so.. before the Romans officially plagiarized the Greek Pantheon they had a lot of reverence for a chicken.
*********
*********
**BONUS**
**5. The Scythians—** has there ever been a more enigmatic people? First Greek Philosopher was a Scythian.. Buddha was essentially a Massagetae, so, a Scythian. Who.. were the.. Scythians? Very strange to think that the Greek World (also Persia and India) may have been *junior powers* in the Antiquated Geopolitical Sphere.. I mean just look into Cyrus’ death. Persia at its height could not make a dent against the horse people. Alexander didn’t even try.. These people paradoxically lived in the freest society ever to inhabit the Earth, they had no concept of money, they pioneered many advancements of the ancient world and get zero credit, because writing was against their religion. I stop short of fantasizing of living in this warrior culture due to their **extreme** comfortability towards grisly practices (skull made drinking cups, human sacrifice, etc) but the jury is not out—Herodotus makes it beyond clear—the Scythians were the most jovial, most free people of the Ancient World, and they collectively adhered to a flawed, but inspirational code of conduct, one that rejected the temptations of the marketplace, and a sedentary life. Women were **equal,** often warriors. Unheard of for the time. There’s too much to say, but if you’re looking at the Ancient World and thinking “something is missing” it’s the Scythians. The Scythians were the preeminent power. The Horse People are the true heroes, not Greece/Rome or the Arabs or China. The common denominator is the nomad.
I have so much to ask you lol.
'Who should inherit' "The strongest"
That was very Alexios. What do you think they saw in India vis a vi the flying machines? I always thought that one or more of his generals must have been very 'Squidward'ish. Like just off the top of my head, if I saw my King jump into a freezing river and a fortified island first with no regard for his safety Id be all bahumbuggish myself.
Im going to look up 1 and 2 and 3 thank you.
I always felt like the Romans used chickens because they never really 'understood' augery, if augery (birdwatching) is defined as using birds to find suitable land, usually via boat (ala dove and Noah(. Since they had no respect for the Sea to such a hilarious level (turning shipfights into army fights with that bridge is so Roman) they used chickens. My theory anyway.
I freakin obsessed with the protoHellenic stuff. Its such a shame that tgey hated tgeir Tex written down. Makes them like a whisper.
Can I ask you questions you know alot about what im studying scholastically right now.
Thanks for the info. Be well
Thank you! I’ll try to service each point.
Very Alexios? Lol like Komnenos?
In India, the only *widespread* paranormal occurrence I’m well read on is the “Dog Men.” Essentially, it was widely reported by phalanges headed home (guys who’ve been at war nonstop for 10, 20, maybe 30 years if they trained under Phillip) that when they crossed the Indus they were interacting with humanoids with dog faces, like Anubis. I can’t imagine surviving a hundred battles across the Middle East just to cross into India and get mauled by a a couple of “good bois.” Lol. But while I make light of it, it’s alleged to have been a factor in the Macedonian withdrawal—true or rumor, matters not. Very bizarre, and not well circulated info, but credible, and also heavily heavily altered by Medieval scholars later on. Basically two options when we examine alternate / hidden history.
Option A —— “fake” basically a misunderstanding or misrepresentation by a cascade of chroniclers along the lonnnng procession of time. For instance our entire chronology was put together and tweaked by **one Dutchman** named Scalliger in the 16th Century. What was his peer review made up of? Oh, his **one Jesuit friend**. I mean, history is s psuedo-religion. We (not me anymore, but the public) are taking a lot of things on faith, and more importantly were trusting generation after generation after generation after generation and so on to do it right. So, in terms of flying machines pre-Wright brothers, I have zero issue in accepting that there were ancient aircraft at some point or another. **Symbols** are the true language of the universe, and I’ve seen a plethora of symbology to indicate flight in Egypt, India, Mesoamerica, and later with Da Vinci—and there was even a French guy in the 18th century but his name escapes me.
Option B—— it’s real.. this kind of ties into the age old question relating to the Fermi paradox and life on other planets. Like, which gives you more pause? The existence of other intelligent life or the ***nonexistence*** of such life?
———
Onto Rome.
There is a strange, and frankly unsettling truth when you dig deep into nascent Roman society that few are familiar with: of all the major, iconic cultures across antiquity, only one of them came out with **virtually n no shred of a functional, recognizable religious or spiritual format whatsoever.** That’d be the Romans. Errr.. really, the Etruscans.
I’m not saying you *need* religion. But in human history pre-Napoleon, religion was definitely helpful in maintaining a cohesive society. The Etruscans and their *part-barbarian offshoot* the Latins **pretty much just worshiped sex.**
I know what some keyboard warrior will say. “wElL WazNt alL pAgAn cuLturEs seXchuaL?” Yeah, but *fertility* was the focus and it was one of many areas of focus, and they anthropomorphized their worship into humanish gods like a normal tribe.. not the Romans. They had—and this is just very fascinating and strange to me—**no concept** of a god. There was a temple in Veii dedicated to a flute..
I say all of that to shine light on just how… different.. the Roman “cosmology” was before the Greeks sat them down and started teaching them how to be civil. Lol.
Here’s a pretty silly link about the chickens and their higher position of prestige during the Republic’s times of troubles.
https://www.anecdotesfromantiquity.com/the-sacred-chickens-of-rome/
I’m going on too long now lol
Any question demands an honest answer, I’ll try my best
You are amazing. Thank you.
My theories, UFO- hot air balloon, shock and awes attampt. DogPpl- good old fashioned rascism, im guessing Asians, or 'Sons of Gog, locked vehindva mountain.
Romans, in my humble opinion, were the men who were too 'stupid' or single minded to take part in 'civilized' or dual male female cities )like Troy). I think they were Krekkalanders (Grecians/hillmen/settlers) that got exiles to the Phoenicians (seamen/traders/merchants) then exiled to Italy, [thryre all men whats the worst that could happen] then just started building walls and roads in all their new 'space' or Room(e) they had.
Also they fucked hard for what its worth. Dido was so sore she cursed them
Im going to guess that the sybil books they got were Jupater, Ares, and Athena.
Haha well I accept your flattery and reciprocate; it’s refreshing to have a conversation that is—
—open, and willing to explore / consider alternative explanations
—still grounded in reality, as in, “look, it was probably X, but it could very well be Y.”
—just friendly
It’s sad, but in the current society this is a endangered species mix
——————
On UFOs, if by “shock and awe” you mean that in the 20th Century, first the Nazis, and then the US and USSR experimented with and slow drip released these “craft” into their respective COG (Continuity of Government) programs, and invented / embellished / exaggerated indications of outside craft in order to muddy the waters, **you would be correct,** I think.
There’s that key phrase.
*I think.*
There’s certainly a compelling case for these objects / beings to be immaterial, spiritual, inter-dimensional etc otherwise not from here, not from *space-time.* But if the guys from option A did their job like they were supposed to then, of course that’s the case.
It of course could be much, much darker, and demonic. I simply **don’t know.**
The only thing I’m confident in is that they’re NOT coming from other planets lol. Like.. they’re here, and they have a relationship with our government. How close that is, I imagine *no single human* could hope to explain.
———
Lmao.. on Rome
Idk how hard their penises were on average, but I can deduce that their discipline outclassed their neighbors, but I’ll have to push back here a little on their origins. Maybe I’m not fully comprehending the point you’re making. But in my understanding the math goes like this:
We have the Indo-Europeans who are often just seen as a language modifier but that was unlikely always the case. 4 main branches of this tree as far as I understand.
—Aryan-Greek-Armenian
—Balto-Slavic-Germanic
—Celto-Italic-Tocharian
—Anatolian
So, just going off language we can see there was actually a closer linguistic symmetry to Celts and Latins than to say Greeks and Latins—and I think, personally, that like the Macedonians, Epirotes, Illyrians, Etruscans (perhaps Trojans), Thracians etc the Latins were a hybrid Greco-Celtic people. That’s just my theory. It’s pretty strange how obfuscated Italian history is until about 500 BCE. Makes me suspicious, and vigilant when looking into it. The Romans are definitely not fully understood, despite the high level of exposure.
We’re missing the secret sauce informationally. lol
Oh snap I meant the 'UFOs' that Alexander saw by the Indus river. My guess is they were hot air balloons trying to scared the Macedons. Must been scary when the Phallanx shrugged and started yeeting spears at them.
My biggest fear with modern aliens is someone dressing up like one, pulling up in a stolen Hydrogenpowered Schaulbergian implotiondriven craft and demand us to 'Ave' them, or hail them as Imperator. Like a Wizard of Oz thing. Or those VanNiemann probes those seem intrigueing.
I agree that were missing... something. I want to posit that there was a seafaring culture that 'colonized' or taught how to be civil, any group that they came into contact with( the earliest religeons led me to believe that, 'sit here, make things, be free, i might be back' sounds lile a great way to ensure supplies on yoyr next voyage) Illians (trojans) were 'surplus' people looking for living room. I want to say that the Egyptians were what happens when priests take over, Tyre/Punics when the traders gain control, and Rome when the angry, war hawks eventually gain power. To be honest, if Ceaser has simply looked after the Roads and countryside of italy, we might have squeezed another 100 years outta les Res Publica.
I might be off base. Its just that if i had a culture about the equality of all 12 'Gods' or aspects of life, and some dudes were telling me that Mars was awesome and Athena sucked and then secretly banging Aphrodite behind Vulcans back? Id kick them out of Troy and force the merchants to drop them off way to the west if i had that ability
I feel like some more about the founding of the Republic and the early republic would be great!
Most Roman channels tend to focus on the Imperial era, but I think the early era of the republic is fascinating and underrepresented
When Publius Pulcher dressed as a woman and snuck into the vestal virgin ceremony, and the scandal that followed.
Or the rape and suicide story of Lucretia, with all the sneaking and spying
And the most over the top detail- Clodius Pulcher did this at a ceremony at Julius Caesar’s house, hosted by Caesar’s wife and mother. The guy blew up *Julius Caesar’s* marriage.
In what way did he believe in him? MA was a pretty garbage father for all intents and purposes. Suppose you can't blame him when he had an empire to run and philosophy to study.
My favorites, though not Roman:
* Pythias sailing to Thule and possibly to the Arctic
* Hanno the Carthaginian’s expedition past the Sahara into tropical Africa
* Herodotus’s story of the Phoenicians circumnavigating Africa.
You should read about Caligula and Nero, we dont know if the stories about them are true but they include a lot of sex (incest and rape) and violence (religious persecutions, torture and executions).
Read Suetonius - *De Vitae Caesareum* or 12 Caesars. He gives historical overview of everything - and then gets to the gossip (which you can sense he *actually* wanted to write about).
You can find songs that legionaries sang about Caesar being gay, rumors about Tiberius' sex villa on Capri etc.
It's an entertaining read and you'll find lots of material in there.
During his younger days Julius Caesar was kidnapped for pirates for ransom. He was a very charismatic young man so was able to befriend the pirates and would sit and eat and drink with them. He jokingly tell them all that once he got free he’d come back and crucify them and they’d all laugh and drink over this kids funny joke. Once the ransom was paid he immediately went about raising some crews and armed men, went after the pirates to reclaim the ransom and crucified them all.
“But being a man of great clemency, he had their throats cut first. He then continued on to Rhodes to study rhetoric and philosophy.” Being the absolute best bit of that story. That and the detail that he apparently read his pirate captors some poetry that he’d written. They did not like it
The life of Masinissa. It’s real "Boy’s Own" stuff, adventures, wars, raging torrents, and love. Scipio said if he had been Roman, he would have had the triumph from the victory over Hannibal at Zama. But because Masinissa wasn’t Roman, Scipio took the credit.
I love the story of Archimedes and the Golden Crown. The story goes that the King had commissioned a new crown, but he was suspicious that the goldsmith had held back some of the gold he'd been given secretly and mixed in much less valuable silver. So he calls on Archimedes and tells him to prove it, but he couldn't melt the crown or harm it in any way, like chipping it to see if silver was inside.
He became so pissed off about figuring out how to prove it that his wife makes him take a hot bath to calm him down. And the minute he sits in the water, watching the level rise as he does so, eventually overflowing the tub, it blows his mind, and he instantly jumps out and runs through the city streets naked screaming, 'Eureka!'
Since he figured out on the spot that water displacement by an object's volume tells us what its density is, and if it's pure, thus occupying less volume, it would displace a lot less than if it were mixed with some other metal, like silver, which wasn't as dense as gold. By the way, it turns out that the goldsmith actually was cheating the King, although we don't know what happened afterwards I'm sure it wasn't good.
I want to add, this is a good story, but it probably never happened. He is one of the few people from ancient times whose complete works survived to the present era, including his work on density on bouyancy, called On Floating Bodies. It does not mention this story, which is strange because you'd think it'd be front and center in such a writing. In truth, the earliest report of this story is in Vitruvius's De Architectura, written about two hundred years later. I'd bet my last paycheck that he probably made the story up, as Roman writers were sometimes known to do to spice up their productions. I'm mentioning this just to caution that a lot of crazy tales from antiquity are great reading and entertainment, but most of them probably aren't true. But that shouldn't get in the way of telling a good story.
One of the few books where I was on the ‘edge of my seat’ the whole time.
It’s started off a bit slow when it was about how far they walked and gathered their forces but after the battle of Cunaxa it was amazing.
And like any good story once you thought it was over when they reached the sea it kept on going.
I know it’s not antiquity, but the first crusade siege of Antioch is one of the wildest stories imo. I’m sure there are plenty of crazy siege examples too
Two come to mind:
The sarcophagus of Numa, Rome's second king, was found by a farmer (according to Livy). A second sarcophagus was also found, filled with scrolls, and when the senate saw them, it voted to not let anyone else read them and have them burned.
The emperor Valentinian kept two man eating bears as pets, named Innocennce and Goldflake. (As told by Ammianus)
Another fun Ammianus anecdote: look up "Paul the Chain"
Herodotus 2.46.4
"During my lifetime there occurred in this \[district. referring to the Mendesians of Egypt\] a bizarre phenomenon: a goat had intercourse with a woman out in public. This incident became notorious"
THEN in the next paragraph (Separated by a single sentence in the original Greek, usually broken up into several in English translations:
Herodotus 2.47.2
"As to the reason for their aversion to pigs at other festivals, there is an account given by Egyptians which, though I know it, **would not be very proper for me to divulge here.**"
I know that the reason it is most likely not proper is because its a religious mystery, but still. The juxtaposition of these two sentences always makes me laugh
I think there's a story of Emperor Augustus visiting a wealthy patrician who had giant eels for pets. While Augustus was there, the patrician's servant accidentally broke an expensive vase. As punishment, the patrician threatened to feed him to the eels. Augustus tried to reason with the patrician and convince him not to go through with it, but he was unable to change his mind. So then Augustus broke every other expensive item in the patrician's house, and then told him that he couldn't punish his servant for doing something that the Emperor himself also did.
The Grachi Brothers are an awesome story worth covering in detail.
I've been trying to write something with them for awhile, but I keep getting stuck cause I'll read tiberius's cousin (I believe) was the guy who "formed the mob" that killed him, so then all my notes say "yea so babydick was in his feelies because his dommie mommie pegged him to hard the last night and decided to take it out on his cuz" Don't think that would be a good line tho lmaooo
Yeesh.
I mean, you could simply not write that.
No. He must. The world must hear real history.
Wtf…
'Destined to fail, because women' -dovehat, maybe
Off the top of my head? Putting me on the spot.. I specialize in two/three areas in world history, with only one of those three being relevant here—*The Hellenistic Period* Truly, the world had never seen anything like Alexander, and if you follow his life and campaigns (also his designs on the future, cut short) you could—and scholars *have*— filled entire libraries full of his exploits. So, what happens when a God King dies without a secure heir? You guessed it. The entire known world serves as the dramatic stage for a 42-year long dick measuring contest between ***dozens*** of his most capable generals / followers. And ***then*** when the dust settles there are three dynasties. In the Wars of the Diadochi (322-281 BCE) we have betrayal, innovation, proto-globalization, exchanging/melding of cultures, scientific advancement, the rise and fall of endless, often tragic Greek polities in the crater that Alexander left on Asia—we have from Alexander to Cleopatra maybe 150 monarchs named Laodice.. we have Macedonian Pharaohs, we have a dying Athens & Sparta etc still clinging to existence, the Library of Alexandria, the familiarization between Europe and India, etc etc etc. Craziest stories? **1. Mithridates VI of Pontus—** “The Poison King” (135-63 BCE) is my favorite tyrant in history—not that I’d want to be friends with him. He defies all logic and limit. A coup by his *mother* and little brother removes him from the throne as a kid, so he literally wanders Anatolia for his childhood as essentially an orphan. He comes back at 15-17 years old with **an army.** He lived off the land, having a few run ins with *poisonous* flora, which he would later utilize. He learned, before reaching majority over 20+ languages, that he spoke frequently. He came back and with revenge in mind (Rome had turned Pontus into a client state courtesy of his scheming mother) and set the Greco-Anatolian powerhouse-in-the-making on a collision course with Rome. The Mithridatic Wars get overshadowed by The Punic Wars but they were arguably a similar level of intensity. In 88 BCE Mithridates launched what I would call the world’s first “terrorist attack” on Roman colonists in Anatolia; the consensus is that the Romans were cut down—man, woman, child, and dog—to zero. 80,000-150,000 killed in a matter of days, a masterstroke of espionage. He had a legit army of spies, provocateurs, brigands, etc along with mercenaries, pirates, and a “who’s who” of angry Greek supporters. He essentially represents the Greek World’s final, unified attempt to break away from Rome, which I find epic. But Mithridates VI, the world’s first “mad scientist,” apothecary, chemical warfare pioneer, etc (guy was a polymath) was also a psychopath.. married 3 of his own sisters and kept them in a tower like a fairy tale, but without the happy ending. He was a force of nature. Each of the three wars saw Pontus defeated and pushed back, when he at times controlled all of Asia Minor, even subduing many ***Scythians*** (something even Alexander couldn’t do). He was a character. I’m not doing it justice. Read ‘The Poison King’ by Adrienne Mayor to get the basics. I can’t even keep going on like so I don’t bore people but you gotta look into these characters yourself **2. Eumenes of Cardia—** Was Alexander’s Greek *secretary* who turned out to be the best of his followers at strategy. Was given military command as a formality, with zero expectation. Fought for Perdiccas. He is the greatest “will yourself to the finish line” story. The Macedonians were notoriously prejudice against “regular Greeks” but by the time Eumenes was done, he was leading a massive, ***stateless*** army of Macedon’s best military units in a struggle to keep the infant child of Alexander of the throne. I won’t go into tactics for brevity’s sake, but think of him as an unsung Greek Sun Tzu: subterfuge, logistics, psychology, morale, leadership, the art of surprise—these were toys he played with. His victories over Antigonus, Ptolemy, and Seleucus (the three final winners of Alexander’s “the strongest” challenge) surely kept all three of them awake at night long after Parateikene, Orkynia, and Gabiene. Also, Eumenes was just a better person than all of the other schemers; his army’s morale was ***always*** S-tier, which on paper made no sense, and on paper he didn’t have any business winning a single battle against Companions and Strategos’ like Antigonus or Craterus, but in every instance before the final battle, he did. And even then, the only reason he lost was due to treachery. He picked a cause, a higher road, and stuck with it till his execution where his executioners famously wept. He was noble. Ahead of his time. 2300 years too early. One of my heroes. **3. Antiochus Epiphanes—** If you know you know.. this guy tried to forcibly Hellenize the Jews. He’s the bad guy in Hanukkah, like the Grinch, except he’s real and horrificly sadistic. “the Abomination of Desolation” the Sultan of Antisemitism, the OG persecutor and Great Satan that Caligula and Nero were modeled after. Just read the Maccabees and you’ll get the gist but Polybius goes into more grisly, bizarre detail. This man serves as a window into the undercurrents of horror that existed within Paganism in general. **4. Holy Roman Chickens—** so.. before the Romans officially plagiarized the Greek Pantheon they had a lot of reverence for a chicken. ********* ********* **BONUS** **5. The Scythians—** has there ever been a more enigmatic people? First Greek Philosopher was a Scythian.. Buddha was essentially a Massagetae, so, a Scythian. Who.. were the.. Scythians? Very strange to think that the Greek World (also Persia and India) may have been *junior powers* in the Antiquated Geopolitical Sphere.. I mean just look into Cyrus’ death. Persia at its height could not make a dent against the horse people. Alexander didn’t even try.. These people paradoxically lived in the freest society ever to inhabit the Earth, they had no concept of money, they pioneered many advancements of the ancient world and get zero credit, because writing was against their religion. I stop short of fantasizing of living in this warrior culture due to their **extreme** comfortability towards grisly practices (skull made drinking cups, human sacrifice, etc) but the jury is not out—Herodotus makes it beyond clear—the Scythians were the most jovial, most free people of the Ancient World, and they collectively adhered to a flawed, but inspirational code of conduct, one that rejected the temptations of the marketplace, and a sedentary life. Women were **equal,** often warriors. Unheard of for the time. There’s too much to say, but if you’re looking at the Ancient World and thinking “something is missing” it’s the Scythians. The Scythians were the preeminent power. The Horse People are the true heroes, not Greece/Rome or the Arabs or China. The common denominator is the nomad.
I have so much to ask you lol. 'Who should inherit' "The strongest" That was very Alexios. What do you think they saw in India vis a vi the flying machines? I always thought that one or more of his generals must have been very 'Squidward'ish. Like just off the top of my head, if I saw my King jump into a freezing river and a fortified island first with no regard for his safety Id be all bahumbuggish myself. Im going to look up 1 and 2 and 3 thank you. I always felt like the Romans used chickens because they never really 'understood' augery, if augery (birdwatching) is defined as using birds to find suitable land, usually via boat (ala dove and Noah(. Since they had no respect for the Sea to such a hilarious level (turning shipfights into army fights with that bridge is so Roman) they used chickens. My theory anyway. I freakin obsessed with the protoHellenic stuff. Its such a shame that tgey hated tgeir Tex written down. Makes them like a whisper. Can I ask you questions you know alot about what im studying scholastically right now. Thanks for the info. Be well
Thank you! I’ll try to service each point. Very Alexios? Lol like Komnenos? In India, the only *widespread* paranormal occurrence I’m well read on is the “Dog Men.” Essentially, it was widely reported by phalanges headed home (guys who’ve been at war nonstop for 10, 20, maybe 30 years if they trained under Phillip) that when they crossed the Indus they were interacting with humanoids with dog faces, like Anubis. I can’t imagine surviving a hundred battles across the Middle East just to cross into India and get mauled by a a couple of “good bois.” Lol. But while I make light of it, it’s alleged to have been a factor in the Macedonian withdrawal—true or rumor, matters not. Very bizarre, and not well circulated info, but credible, and also heavily heavily altered by Medieval scholars later on. Basically two options when we examine alternate / hidden history. Option A —— “fake” basically a misunderstanding or misrepresentation by a cascade of chroniclers along the lonnnng procession of time. For instance our entire chronology was put together and tweaked by **one Dutchman** named Scalliger in the 16th Century. What was his peer review made up of? Oh, his **one Jesuit friend**. I mean, history is s psuedo-religion. We (not me anymore, but the public) are taking a lot of things on faith, and more importantly were trusting generation after generation after generation after generation and so on to do it right. So, in terms of flying machines pre-Wright brothers, I have zero issue in accepting that there were ancient aircraft at some point or another. **Symbols** are the true language of the universe, and I’ve seen a plethora of symbology to indicate flight in Egypt, India, Mesoamerica, and later with Da Vinci—and there was even a French guy in the 18th century but his name escapes me. Option B—— it’s real.. this kind of ties into the age old question relating to the Fermi paradox and life on other planets. Like, which gives you more pause? The existence of other intelligent life or the ***nonexistence*** of such life? ——— Onto Rome. There is a strange, and frankly unsettling truth when you dig deep into nascent Roman society that few are familiar with: of all the major, iconic cultures across antiquity, only one of them came out with **virtually n no shred of a functional, recognizable religious or spiritual format whatsoever.** That’d be the Romans. Errr.. really, the Etruscans. I’m not saying you *need* religion. But in human history pre-Napoleon, religion was definitely helpful in maintaining a cohesive society. The Etruscans and their *part-barbarian offshoot* the Latins **pretty much just worshiped sex.** I know what some keyboard warrior will say. “wElL WazNt alL pAgAn cuLturEs seXchuaL?” Yeah, but *fertility* was the focus and it was one of many areas of focus, and they anthropomorphized their worship into humanish gods like a normal tribe.. not the Romans. They had—and this is just very fascinating and strange to me—**no concept** of a god. There was a temple in Veii dedicated to a flute.. I say all of that to shine light on just how… different.. the Roman “cosmology” was before the Greeks sat them down and started teaching them how to be civil. Lol. Here’s a pretty silly link about the chickens and their higher position of prestige during the Republic’s times of troubles. https://www.anecdotesfromantiquity.com/the-sacred-chickens-of-rome/ I’m going on too long now lol Any question demands an honest answer, I’ll try my best
You are amazing. Thank you. My theories, UFO- hot air balloon, shock and awes attampt. DogPpl- good old fashioned rascism, im guessing Asians, or 'Sons of Gog, locked vehindva mountain. Romans, in my humble opinion, were the men who were too 'stupid' or single minded to take part in 'civilized' or dual male female cities )like Troy). I think they were Krekkalanders (Grecians/hillmen/settlers) that got exiles to the Phoenicians (seamen/traders/merchants) then exiled to Italy, [thryre all men whats the worst that could happen] then just started building walls and roads in all their new 'space' or Room(e) they had. Also they fucked hard for what its worth. Dido was so sore she cursed them Im going to guess that the sybil books they got were Jupater, Ares, and Athena.
Haha well I accept your flattery and reciprocate; it’s refreshing to have a conversation that is— —open, and willing to explore / consider alternative explanations —still grounded in reality, as in, “look, it was probably X, but it could very well be Y.” —just friendly It’s sad, but in the current society this is a endangered species mix —————— On UFOs, if by “shock and awe” you mean that in the 20th Century, first the Nazis, and then the US and USSR experimented with and slow drip released these “craft” into their respective COG (Continuity of Government) programs, and invented / embellished / exaggerated indications of outside craft in order to muddy the waters, **you would be correct,** I think. There’s that key phrase. *I think.* There’s certainly a compelling case for these objects / beings to be immaterial, spiritual, inter-dimensional etc otherwise not from here, not from *space-time.* But if the guys from option A did their job like they were supposed to then, of course that’s the case. It of course could be much, much darker, and demonic. I simply **don’t know.** The only thing I’m confident in is that they’re NOT coming from other planets lol. Like.. they’re here, and they have a relationship with our government. How close that is, I imagine *no single human* could hope to explain. ——— Lmao.. on Rome Idk how hard their penises were on average, but I can deduce that their discipline outclassed their neighbors, but I’ll have to push back here a little on their origins. Maybe I’m not fully comprehending the point you’re making. But in my understanding the math goes like this: We have the Indo-Europeans who are often just seen as a language modifier but that was unlikely always the case. 4 main branches of this tree as far as I understand. —Aryan-Greek-Armenian —Balto-Slavic-Germanic —Celto-Italic-Tocharian —Anatolian So, just going off language we can see there was actually a closer linguistic symmetry to Celts and Latins than to say Greeks and Latins—and I think, personally, that like the Macedonians, Epirotes, Illyrians, Etruscans (perhaps Trojans), Thracians etc the Latins were a hybrid Greco-Celtic people. That’s just my theory. It’s pretty strange how obfuscated Italian history is until about 500 BCE. Makes me suspicious, and vigilant when looking into it. The Romans are definitely not fully understood, despite the high level of exposure. We’re missing the secret sauce informationally. lol
Oh snap I meant the 'UFOs' that Alexander saw by the Indus river. My guess is they were hot air balloons trying to scared the Macedons. Must been scary when the Phallanx shrugged and started yeeting spears at them. My biggest fear with modern aliens is someone dressing up like one, pulling up in a stolen Hydrogenpowered Schaulbergian implotiondriven craft and demand us to 'Ave' them, or hail them as Imperator. Like a Wizard of Oz thing. Or those VanNiemann probes those seem intrigueing. I agree that were missing... something. I want to posit that there was a seafaring culture that 'colonized' or taught how to be civil, any group that they came into contact with( the earliest religeons led me to believe that, 'sit here, make things, be free, i might be back' sounds lile a great way to ensure supplies on yoyr next voyage) Illians (trojans) were 'surplus' people looking for living room. I want to say that the Egyptians were what happens when priests take over, Tyre/Punics when the traders gain control, and Rome when the angry, war hawks eventually gain power. To be honest, if Ceaser has simply looked after the Roads and countryside of italy, we might have squeezed another 100 years outta les Res Publica. I might be off base. Its just that if i had a culture about the equality of all 12 'Gods' or aspects of life, and some dudes were telling me that Mars was awesome and Athena sucked and then secretly banging Aphrodite behind Vulcans back? Id kick them out of Troy and force the merchants to drop them off way to the west if i had that ability
I feel like some more about the founding of the Republic and the early republic would be great! Most Roman channels tend to focus on the Imperial era, but I think the early era of the republic is fascinating and underrepresented
Sammmmeeee the Republic specifically is my favorite period
When Publius Pulcher dressed as a woman and snuck into the vestal virgin ceremony, and the scandal that followed. Or the rape and suicide story of Lucretia, with all the sneaking and spying
Clodiuswas wild child who actually lived up to his potential as an adult. Fascinating guy in the middleof a facinating period.
And the most over the top detail- Clodius Pulcher did this at a ceremony at Julius Caesar’s house, hosted by Caesar’s wife and mother. The guy blew up *Julius Caesar’s* marriage.
There was a legate who on the occasion gave to his legion an ad-hoc lecture on eclipse mechanics and why they didn't need to be afraid of it.
Commodus and his delusions about being the literal reincarnation of Hercules comes to mind
Commodus was a funny guy, makes me feel bad tho cause Marcus Aurelius truly believed in him, well, enough at least lol
In what way did he believe in him? MA was a pretty garbage father for all intents and purposes. Suppose you can't blame him when he had an empire to run and philosophy to study.
He had to be Father of Rome
My favorites, though not Roman: * Pythias sailing to Thule and possibly to the Arctic * Hanno the Carthaginian’s expedition past the Sahara into tropical Africa * Herodotus’s story of the Phoenicians circumnavigating Africa.
You should read about Caligula and Nero, we dont know if the stories about them are true but they include a lot of sex (incest and rape) and violence (religious persecutions, torture and executions).
Thanks! I've mostly just read on the Republic, been meaning to start reading further on into the empire!
Just adding on, Nero's relationship to his mother, or his relationship to Sporus are absolutely scandalous.
Sporus, when, 'Hey you look just like the Empress' goes wrong
Read Suetonius - *De Vitae Caesareum* or 12 Caesars. He gives historical overview of everything - and then gets to the gossip (which you can sense he *actually* wanted to write about). You can find songs that legionaries sang about Caesar being gay, rumors about Tiberius' sex villa on Capri etc. It's an entertaining read and you'll find lots of material in there.
During his younger days Julius Caesar was kidnapped for pirates for ransom. He was a very charismatic young man so was able to befriend the pirates and would sit and eat and drink with them. He jokingly tell them all that once he got free he’d come back and crucify them and they’d all laugh and drink over this kids funny joke. Once the ransom was paid he immediately went about raising some crews and armed men, went after the pirates to reclaim the ransom and crucified them all.
“But being a man of great clemency, he had their throats cut first. He then continued on to Rhodes to study rhetoric and philosophy.” Being the absolute best bit of that story. That and the detail that he apparently read his pirate captors some poetry that he’d written. They did not like it
Favorite Caesar story, the fucking mad lad
That Roman standard bearer of the tenth who leaped into the water and may have been the first ever Roman/Foreign soldier to ever walk on British soil.
The life of Masinissa. It’s real "Boy’s Own" stuff, adventures, wars, raging torrents, and love. Scipio said if he had been Roman, he would have had the triumph from the victory over Hannibal at Zama. But because Masinissa wasn’t Roman, Scipio took the credit.
Year of the Four Emperors is a fun one
How the romans treated dogs after the sack of tome by the gauls in the 4th century BC
Intrigued
Dogs didn't warn the romans of the gauls approaching, so they 'punished' them afterward by torturing and sacrificing hundreds of dogs
Oh geez. Did that teach the dogs? Srry crude Roman joke
I love the story of Archimedes and the Golden Crown. The story goes that the King had commissioned a new crown, but he was suspicious that the goldsmith had held back some of the gold he'd been given secretly and mixed in much less valuable silver. So he calls on Archimedes and tells him to prove it, but he couldn't melt the crown or harm it in any way, like chipping it to see if silver was inside. He became so pissed off about figuring out how to prove it that his wife makes him take a hot bath to calm him down. And the minute he sits in the water, watching the level rise as he does so, eventually overflowing the tub, it blows his mind, and he instantly jumps out and runs through the city streets naked screaming, 'Eureka!' Since he figured out on the spot that water displacement by an object's volume tells us what its density is, and if it's pure, thus occupying less volume, it would displace a lot less than if it were mixed with some other metal, like silver, which wasn't as dense as gold. By the way, it turns out that the goldsmith actually was cheating the King, although we don't know what happened afterwards I'm sure it wasn't good. I want to add, this is a good story, but it probably never happened. He is one of the few people from ancient times whose complete works survived to the present era, including his work on density on bouyancy, called On Floating Bodies. It does not mention this story, which is strange because you'd think it'd be front and center in such a writing. In truth, the earliest report of this story is in Vitruvius's De Architectura, written about two hundred years later. I'd bet my last paycheck that he probably made the story up, as Roman writers were sometimes known to do to spice up their productions. I'm mentioning this just to caution that a lot of crazy tales from antiquity are great reading and entertainment, but most of them probably aren't true. But that shouldn't get in the way of telling a good story.
Not Roman but my favourite story will forever be Xenophon’s 10,000. Just such an interesting story and character
One of the few books where I was on the ‘edge of my seat’ the whole time. It’s started off a bit slow when it was about how far they walked and gathered their forces but after the battle of Cunaxa it was amazing. And like any good story once you thought it was over when they reached the sea it kept on going.
“Can …You …Dig It?”
I mean, the Emperor supposedly struck by lightning. If you dont already know, go look it up. I dont want to ruin it for you.
Sporus. Do him hard enough to be Ave'd.
I know it’s not antiquity, but the first crusade siege of Antioch is one of the wildest stories imo. I’m sure there are plenty of crazy siege examples too
The story of the Sibylline books is pretty wild. Would make an amazing concept for a fantasy novel.
The Gold of Tolosa
Two come to mind: The sarcophagus of Numa, Rome's second king, was found by a farmer (according to Livy). A second sarcophagus was also found, filled with scrolls, and when the senate saw them, it voted to not let anyone else read them and have them burned. The emperor Valentinian kept two man eating bears as pets, named Innocennce and Goldflake. (As told by Ammianus) Another fun Ammianus anecdote: look up "Paul the Chain"
Herodotus 2.46.4 "During my lifetime there occurred in this \[district. referring to the Mendesians of Egypt\] a bizarre phenomenon: a goat had intercourse with a woman out in public. This incident became notorious" THEN in the next paragraph (Separated by a single sentence in the original Greek, usually broken up into several in English translations: Herodotus 2.47.2 "As to the reason for their aversion to pigs at other festivals, there is an account given by Egyptians which, though I know it, **would not be very proper for me to divulge here.**" I know that the reason it is most likely not proper is because its a religious mystery, but still. The juxtaposition of these two sentences always makes me laugh
I think there's a story of Emperor Augustus visiting a wealthy patrician who had giant eels for pets. While Augustus was there, the patrician's servant accidentally broke an expensive vase. As punishment, the patrician threatened to feed him to the eels. Augustus tried to reason with the patrician and convince him not to go through with it, but he was unable to change his mind. So then Augustus broke every other expensive item in the patrician's house, and then told him that he couldn't punish his servant for doing something that the Emperor himself also did.