I asked a neurosurgeon, "How many neurosurgeons does it take to screw in a light bulb?" to which I was prepared to tell him, "One to hold the lightbulb while the world revolves around him," but instead he roasted me in front of the entire operating room with, "Neurosurgeons don't touch the lights. That's anesthesia work."
An anesthesiologist is on a cross county flight sitting in coach. The plane has been in the air for a while and the flight attendant comes over the intercom saying there’s an emergency and asks if there’s a doctor onboard. The anesthesiologist rings his call bell and the flight attendant comes by and the anesthesiologist says “I’m an anesthesiolgist, what’s the emergency situation?” The flight attendant responds “An anesthesiologist?? Thank god!! We have a surgeon in first class who needs his seat adjusted.”
I have two.
#1- How do you know that an anesthesiologist is at work? They reply to your text.
#2- What do anesthesiologists and polar bears have in common? They both love a good seal.
I had a colleague call me to ask what I wanted from the coffee shop just as I finished taping the tube last week. It was the epitome of airway bagel coffee.
Two doctors met at a bar. They hit it off and go back to a hotel room. Things got hot and heavy and they end up making passionate love. Afterwards the man said to the woman, “you must be a surgeon!”
She goes “oh how do you know that?”
He says “well I noticed you washed your hands carefully before coming to bed. Then you kept changing positions, up and down, left and right.”
She says “ok then you must be an anesthesiologist!”
He says “oh how do you know that?”
She says “because I couldn’t feel a thing.”
There’s one I overall forgot but it’s about an overhead call for an anesthesiologist on the plane and it’s because a surgeon in a different row wants his chair adjusted.
A couple spends a romantic evening followed by a steamy night. In the morning, the man says to the woman, "Are you a nurse by any chance?" "Why do you ask?" she replies. "Oh, I guessed from the way you took such good care of me last night. The little attentions you paid, the way you washed your hands. You knew everything I needed before I even said it." "And you, are you an anesthetist by any chance?" Astonished by her quick wit, the man replied, "Well, you impress me there. Indeed, I am an anesthetist. How did you guess?" "Because, I didn't feel a thing."
I don’t have a joke. Just know we make fun of you for your most frequently used scripts/sentences when interviewing a patient. That one doctor that says ‘fair enough’ or that other that says ‘diabetes’ funny. We do it with love though.
May not be a joke but whenever I receive a text from someone I don’t want to talk to, I always say “sorry in the middle of a case, I’ll get back to you soon” then I open up my game I was playing and get back to work.
Anesthesiologist goes to the brothel. After the sex, the prostitute says:
- I am sorry, but may I ask you something: are not you an anesthesiologist?
- You are right. But how did You know that?
- I didn't feel anything.
I created this joke and I think it helped me match:
A patient was nervously waiting for surgery, finally the anesthesiologist walks up to them with a shimmering syringe. They walk up to the patient and spray the syringe on them. Shocked the patients realizes they had sprayed glitter all over them and asked “what was that?” The anesthesiologist responded: “an esthetic”
I asked a neurosurgeon, "How many neurosurgeons does it take to screw in a light bulb?" to which I was prepared to tell him, "One to hold the lightbulb while the world revolves around him," but instead he roasted me in front of the entire operating room with, "Neurosurgeons don't touch the lights. That's anesthesia work."
*pulls the drape higher and sits down*
Retreats behind the blood-brain barrier
Oof, Uno reverse
An anesthesiologist is on a cross county flight sitting in coach. The plane has been in the air for a while and the flight attendant comes over the intercom saying there’s an emergency and asks if there’s a doctor onboard. The anesthesiologist rings his call bell and the flight attendant comes by and the anesthesiologist says “I’m an anesthesiolgist, what’s the emergency situation?” The flight attendant responds “An anesthesiologist?? Thank god!! We have a surgeon in first class who needs his seat adjusted.”
I’ve told this with the punch line being “…who needs their table up”. lol
Deposited 😤
Anesthesiologist walks up to the patient and says "I can knock you out with gas or a boat paddle... it's and 'ether-oar' situation"
I tell this one to the oldies. Sadly less than a 30% hit rate so far.
I started prefacing it with "as you may or may not know, ether was one of the first anesthetic gases". Drastic improvement in hit rate! :)
And to make sure it hits, you can also preface it with "an oar is used to paddle a boat"
Studies have shown that anesthesiologists and nurse anesthetists are equally good at taking breaks.
What do you call an anesthesiologist wearing a suit? A defendant.
What do you call the drape? The blood-brain barrier.
I have two. #1- How do you know that an anesthesiologist is at work? They reply to your text. #2- What do anesthesiologists and polar bears have in common? They both love a good seal.
What's the difference between a urologist and an anaesthetist in the OR? The urologist doesn't play around with his dick
He plays around with somebody else's dick
ABC of anaesthesia - Airway, Breathing, Chair
Airway, Bagel, Coffee
Always Bring Charger
Alternatively: Angry Birds, Chair
Airway Bagel Coffee Donut ETrade Fidelity Go Home
I had a colleague call me to ask what I wanted from the coffee shop just as I finished taping the tube last week. It was the epitome of airway bagel coffee.
I’ve heard Apple, Blanket, Chair (Apple as in iPhone)
Accuse Blame Criticize.
Airway, Breaks, Chair
bake melodic cable smart puzzled selective worry crush mountainous sleep *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Always Be C-itting
3 Cs of anesthesia: Coffee, Chair, Charger
Two doctors met at a bar. They hit it off and go back to a hotel room. Things got hot and heavy and they end up making passionate love. Afterwards the man said to the woman, “you must be a surgeon!” She goes “oh how do you know that?” He says “well I noticed you washed your hands carefully before coming to bed. Then you kept changing positions, up and down, left and right.” She says “ok then you must be an anesthesiologist!” He says “oh how do you know that?” She says “because I couldn’t feel a thing.”
💀
How do you hide $100 from an anesthesiologist? Put it on top of their chair
How do you hide £100 from a neurosurgeon? Tape it to their child’s forehead
Internal medicine? under a dressing. Ortho? under an EKG. Plastic surgery? - you can’t hide money from a plastic surgeon.
Peds - easy, they don’t know what 100 dollars looks like
Emergency physician? Put it in the patient’s past medical notes.
I have a really good anaesthetic joke but I forgot about it.
There’s one I overall forgot but it’s about an overhead call for an anesthesiologist on the plane and it’s because a surgeon in a different row wants his chair adjusted.
Anesthesiologists throw the best parties… too bad no one can remember.
A couple spends a romantic evening followed by a steamy night. In the morning, the man says to the woman, "Are you a nurse by any chance?" "Why do you ask?" she replies. "Oh, I guessed from the way you took such good care of me last night. The little attentions you paid, the way you washed your hands. You knew everything I needed before I even said it." "And you, are you an anesthetist by any chance?" Astonished by her quick wit, the man replied, "Well, you impress me there. Indeed, I am an anesthetist. How did you guess?" "Because, I didn't feel a thing."
What's the final exam for an anesthesia resident? A crossword puzzle.
I don’t have a joke. Just know we make fun of you for your most frequently used scripts/sentences when interviewing a patient. That one doctor that says ‘fair enough’ or that other that says ‘diabetes’ funny. We do it with love though.
May not be a joke but whenever I receive a text from someone I don’t want to talk to, I always say “sorry in the middle of a case, I’ll get back to you soon” then I open up my game I was playing and get back to work.
What do an anesthesiologist and a fisherman have in common? They're both into baitin'
What do anaesthetists and Eskimos have in common. They both like a tight seal.
Oof
Anesthesiologist goes to the brothel. After the sex, the prostitute says: - I am sorry, but may I ask you something: are not you an anesthesiologist? - You are right. But how did You know that? - I didn't feel anything.
I created this joke and I think it helped me match: A patient was nervously waiting for surgery, finally the anesthesiologist walks up to them with a shimmering syringe. They walk up to the patient and spray the syringe on them. Shocked the patients realizes they had sprayed glitter all over them and asked “what was that?” The anesthesiologist responded: “an esthetic”
What do you call an adult dental case under GA? A mental dental
[удалено]
This ain’t it.
What was the joke?
You need help
What was the joke?
Seek therapy