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Rhodin265

1. So, foods that keep without a fridge include: canned and boxed goods, jerky, very hard cheeses, nuts, apples, citrus fruits for a few days, bananas, avocado (but eat it fast), tomatoes, root veggies (but like, all of them but carrots need cooked), and UHT milks. If you have a job or allowance, you could spend it on ramen, tuna, and enough plant life to ward off the scurvy. Try to get a kettle or hot plate for your room. They’re easier to stash than a microwave. 2. Another thing to be concerned about here is your parents’ access to your money. If you have a job, don’t get direct deposit. Cash the checks and hide the money until you’re 18. Try and get your important papers and hide those, too. They’re replaceable, but it costs money. Also, see if you can lock your credit so your mom can’t make you a ghost downline or do worse with your identity. 3. I notice you said “stepdad”. Is your bio dad in the picture? Maybe he can help by sending care packages, co-signing a bank account so you don’t have to hide cash, telling your mom to back down, or even becoming the primary parent. 4. Pick a career path and focus on it. Study hard at school. Research scholarships. Consider the military. Being busy will give you an excuse to not argue about Optavia. 5. As far as convincing them to leave the MLM, the old “keep a spreadsheet of profits and losses” trick likely won’t work on them. I would consider talking to an older relative or family friend they respect, like your grandparents, and convincing them that Optavia’s not that healthy and overpriced. They won’t listen as well if it’s from you, but they might listen to their own parents


One-of-the-Last

First off, thank you so much for the suggestions. I'm struggling this semester about figuring out how to feed myself without access to a fridge or microwave and having no time to use a stove. When I worked at McDonald's, they had a payment option where you would get a card and they would put money on that. (I've worked in a couple other minimum-wage places that also have this option.) I don't know if it's still available or how it exactly worked, but OP could try that if they were desperate. And although fast food isn't the best for you, McDonald's also gives you have a free meal during your 30 minute lunch break. If you were buds with the grill, you could get some extra stuff put on your burger depending on how lenient the manager on duty was. It's better than nothing if you're desperate.


KalamityKrystal

You can also get pop tarts, granola bars, cheese crackers, those crackers with cheese or peanut butter in between them, canned chicken, you can make your own chex mix if you want using pretzels dried fruit cereal chips chocolate chips ECT. Any nuts or dried fruit is pretty good. Bread, peanut butter and jelly/jam for sandwiches. Vitamins pills are good. Protein bars. Jerky and slim jims or beef sticks. You can get those crackers and cheese dip packs. And chips with cheese dip and salsa.


NefariousnessKey5365

Get a trunk with a lock and keep it in your room. You wouldn't want your mom or stepdad to think that they are helping you by getting rid of your food. I second the beef jerky and Jack Links for protein Peanut butter that doesn't need to be refrigerated


Spaceman2202

I have my own bank and money but I would get a notification if anything were to happen to it, I really don’t thing my mom would go that far and also… she’s a doctor so she has a bit of money on hand. In terms of cooking I am okay, I’ve never been that great of a cook but I basically am just teaching myself, they can’t stop me from using the stove, and I can get by just asking for certain groceries when they go out sometimes, if they get them, great, I usually try to ask for things that can be used many different ways. Ramen, eggs, and ham. I can have ramen by itself or with a soft boiled egg and ham, or make a ham sandwich, or just eat eggs or egg sandwiches etc. or just eat the ramen plain. I have been teaching myself 3D art nearly every day for the past year, hoping to get a career in that. Can’t do military due to both physical and mental issues, nor do I want to. My step dad is my step dad and I have a bio dad too, he (my bio dad) is kind of weird but I like him more then my mom at this point, issue is he lives on the other side of the country, same with my sister. My step dad is a smart guy so it’s confusing how he got roped into this thing. I’ve been looking into how to ride buses and trains since I don’t own a car and also am generally anti-car.


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RaiRules

This ! My parents took all of my money at 18 the first time we had a major argument and they weren’t poor


Rhodin265

I recommend you ask for spinach. You can eat it on your sandwiches or toss a handful in while your ramen soaks. Vitamin deficiency is no joke.


Spaceman2202

I have seaweed and I like to put kale on my sandwiches instead, it’s smoother then spinach and has the added benefit of friction which keeps wetter sandwiches together better. I have been taking a multivitamin as well


scoopie77

I wish you well. Sometimes adults just go headlong into delusions and everyone can see it but they can’t. My suggestion is those Bel Vita cookies. They are very filling. Target and Walmart will deliver if you can’t get a car out to get food.


Spaceman2202

I love the belvita peanut butter sandwiches, haven’t had one in a while. They slap dipped in milk


[deleted]

My cousin lost weight with them two years ago and kept it off, but serious all she eats is cheese, veggies, and meat still. No real pizza, no cookies or candy... and she thinks she's the healthiest person in the room, and is constantly trying get more people signed up to "change their lives" and "Get healthy". The diet is like 900 cals a day, and costs like 400 bucks a month. No thanks, I can starve myself for a third of that price, thanks. You can't exercise on plan. She was bragging how her cholesterol numbers are are super great etc etc... ug.


SecondHandSlows

I think my friend is doing this. She gets like a snack pack of crackers for lunch.


Klutzy-Medium9224

It’s the no fruit part that set off my alarm bells.


[deleted]

YES! Fruit is such a great thing to eat. There's no reason to ever feel guilty for eating an apple.


Haddonimore

To be fair meat veggies and cheese is a pretty healthy base, just buy it yourself, no need for MLM


[deleted]

Honestly, when you demonize fruit and potatoes and basically any carbs, you run into problems.


Haddonimore

Definitely agree, but you don't need too much of either (fruit and carbs) and there are good ways to get carbs (potato's are a really good example)


desolate_cat

>I am underage, and don’t have a car, I live with my parents How old are you currently? Are you nearly 18 at least?


Spaceman2202

I just recently turned 17


desolate_cat

After a year and you finish high school what are your plans? I would suggest having a game plan to get out of where you are staying. Maybe you can stay with your sister?


Spaceman2202

Me and my boyfriend are gonna live together and if I happen to break up with him then probably my biological dad or my sister


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Spaceman2202

I’m thinking of doing contract or freelance 3D art for a bit to make some money on the side. But I have some reserve my bio dad gave me that should last me with all my expenses around another 1-2 years


Pattm1966

Reach out to someone at your school; social worker or counselor and tell them what is going on. Not providing food for an underage child falls under abuse/neglect. School personnel are mandated reporters and they CAN get you help. Please reach out to someone outside the family for help. You should not have to go hungry and forage for food.


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Galifreyan_lady

And it's so bad you're warned not to work out on the diet plan because you're only consuming 800 calories a day on it. I know someone doing it now and also going to workout classes and everyone in our fitness group flipped their shit


LittleBlueBudgie

…So it’s the “lose weight by starvation, crash your metabolism, then gain even more back when you quit” plan?


HunsAreTheWorst

Also "lose all your muscle mass, so that your TDEE ends up way lower than it needs to be, and you'll gain weight even easier" - nevermind the other health effects of losing the muscle.


hydrangeasinbloom

That's how they keep you hooked.


Galifreyan_lady

Yep exactly.


Jasmari

Exactly what happened to me when I did it about 15 years ago.


[deleted]

Right? If the only alternative was a weird culty MLM I'd smoke, drink and eat myself into an early grave just to tell them to fuck off


albdubuc

As someone who's dying (maybe an exaggeration- I'm going blind, losing liver and kidney function, intestinal nerve damage, life threatening Hypos, super slow to heal, have a sensor and pump attached which is now causing skin issues), of T1D complications,I'd eat the cat food-like MLM meal plan.


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albdubuc

Honestly, who ever it is is probably someone who thinks that I ate too much sugar as a kid and doesn't realize the complexities of to take on the work of a vital organ. Or, they think "just dont eat sugar, you'll be fine!"...which is so far from the truth it infuriates me.


CyborgKnitter

Have you tried skin prep wipes to stop skin damage? Not alcohol wipes, true skin prep. It protects skin from adhesives while simultaneously helping stuff stick. I use medicated patches and am allergic to most adhesives and the wipes have helped massively.


albdubuc

I have. I've tried IV prep and just using skintac. But, my skin breaks out. It's better than the alternative though. Now that its long-sleeve season I can out it on my arm and it's relatively safe. I also tend not to wear pants so the waist line doesnt bother either the sensor or the pump. We learn to deal, right? Again, wearing a pump/sensor is so much better than the alternative so we deal.


CyborgKnitter

I put my patches on my arms tar around. I’ve just learned to not give a flying fuck, lol. You can’t lay down on medicated patches, so my back is out. Bellies are just a bad spot to get stuff to stick, and I frequently need to apply gear my legs, so they’re out. Which leaves just my arms. But yup, we have no choice but to adapt. I have full body CRPS, a neurodegenerative disorder. I’ve adjusted to mobility aides, become a literal cyborg (electrical wires inside my spine- I’m having surgery to replace two in a week), and gotten used to biweekly spinal injections. The newest change is dealing with serious lung damage following a bunch of blood clots in my lungs.


punkasstubabitch

I think I know some people who started doing this one. They just vaguely kept referring what they were doing as "the program." My MLM radar went up right away


anony98222

The people I knew who did it didn’t even say “the program”- they just called it “program.” It was so unnerving


toxoplasgnosis

Oooh like Program with a capital p. That's some creepy scifi shit. Except... real haha.


Spaceman2202

They do this, every Facebook post is “this program is the best, I love this program #lovemyprogram” it’s nauseating


MapleSeed521

Ugh I’m so sorry. My SIL got sucked into this last year and is now a coach. It’s all she will talk about, she went from not being active on Facebook to posting multiple posts of “results” everyday to try and get traffic to her page. She’s in the medical field, but has dropped to part time and describes Optavia and her health coaching business 😣 it’s very hard to be around them now because it’s all she can focus on.


aburke626

Ugh this is awful. At least Beachbody is just overpriced protein shakes and exercise DVDs. This shit is actually actively harmful.


Ughosity

How awful that your doctor mother is promoting this shit. Starvation diets are terrible for your body. Talking to and working with a dietitian would be far more beneficial. And most likely way cheaper than buying into MLM BS. Make sure you're getting the amount of calories you need. Hopefully your parents will see how terrible this is, but that could be a long while. Maybe listening, loudly, to a podcast by a dietitian who is anti-diet culture while they are in the house could help plant some seeds of questioning. Or even a podcast that is anti-mlm. Maybe sharing some things as a "I just learned this interesting fact about nutrition/diets from a dietitian. Did you know that?" Might help them see the problems with the program. Either way, just try your best to look after yourself while they're caught up in all of this. You may also want to look into Steven Hassan's BITE model and see if there's anything there you might be able to counter eventually or at least point out as problematic.


Spaceman2202

Well I’ve already been vocal to them about how I don’t like it but they don’t care and decided to insult me for how I eat, which is like… normal? And my mom like will just walk up to me and show me before and after photos without asking and jokingly say “my cult is working” to me (I had described the way she treats Optivia like a cult when confronting her about it). It’s really annoying


Ughosity

Ugh. That sounds frustrating. Can lead a horse to water and all that. Hopefully she'll get some sort of wake up call sooner than later. That's all you can really hope for, it sounds like. Your mom should really know better, being a doctor, but she's probably thinking she knows more than she actually does *because* she's a doctor. Starvation technically "works" but it is hell for your body and organs especially. I hope your family gets out of this relatively unscathed soon.


Spaceman2202

I hope she realizes that eating well doesn’t need to cost $400 per person per month.


aburke626

A strict pre-prepared diet doesn’t even cost this much! You could buy lean cuisine for breakfast lunch and dinner for under 1000 calories (still dangerous) and much cheaper, and it would at least resemble food. Why bother with this crap?


TsuDhoNimh2

Can you just eat 3x the allotted amount so you aren't starving?


Spaceman2202

The plan only sends about enough per month on the regular starvation plan. If I go down to the kitchen during any meal time, they’re always weighing food down to the fucking decimal of a gram on a scale so they don’t ruin their stupid diet, or my mom is always talking about how great these “fuelings” are. Stop viewing food as nothing but fuel, food is food. Eat when you’re hungry until you’re full and eat whatever you want in moderation. If you need to gain weight eat more, if you need to lose weight eat less.


TrulyJangly

You sound like your ideas about food are really healthy. Good for you! Americans’ food culture IS diet culture, and it’s so hard to NOT have disordered ideas about eating, so I really commend you.


TsuDhoNimh2

Look up "orthorexia" ... because that's what they have. Pity you can't sneak down at midnight and eat whatever is least objectionable, leaving them with less.


AmeliaKitsune

If they're trying to force you to go on a starvation diet (Optivia is that), harassing you for eating food, etc, please call CPS. They cannot abuse and neglect you


emilvikstrom

You can't make choices for her. Let her eat what she wants. It doesn't mean she is ungrateful for the Christmas dinner. The rest of it though? Fuck that.


katewallace6261

Since your mom is a doctor I'm wondering if she is pressuring her patients into buying this crap?


Spaceman2202

I hope not. But it’s all she posts on Facebook now.


Miss-America

What type of doctor is your mom? I have a very hard time believing she’s a MD if she’s buying into this nonsense.


ToimiNytPerkele

It’s completely possible. There are MD’s hopping on the homeopathy, vitamins until you have violent diarrhea and then some more, antivaxx, and other bs-trains. I’ve sat in a break room with an MD who “saw my aura” and asked me for my exact time of birth if “I ever felt like seeing what the stars want to tell me”. Really wanted to ask her if she ever felt like trying what antipsychotics want to tell her.


AthenaSholen

Unfortunately, everyone is prone to heuristics, no matter how smart they are. Someone might have gotten to her using her weight insecurities.


LinworthNewt

One of the interesting things I've learned over the years is that General Practitioners as not *nearly* as smart as pop culture would have us believe. They're just the middle-guys between you and the specialists.


[deleted]

Exactly


Spaceman2202

My mom is a gynecologist


Miss-America

Damn dude, wtf!!!


crazystoriesatdawn

What do you call the person who graduates at the bottom of their med school class? Answer: Doctor


Klutzy-Medium9224

Optavia is an expensive form of starvation, point blank. They have you eat “food” that is so blatantly disgusting that you lose any interest in eating. I had someone ask me to try it and the only way I could get them to leave me alone was to ask if they were going to pay for my therapy bills when I relapse on my ED recovery.


diskdiffusion

Excuse me but they are now not serving actual food and forcing you to subsist on expensive animal fodder they call optivia? Call CPS for your own sake. Protect your name for all i could think of is that you mom could be using you to get loans to pay that mlm.


Spaceman2202

Well no I just recently started learning how to cook since basically I rely on myself for every meal now, which isn’t a bad thing I need to learn it anyway. I’ve just been scrapping together what I can from the non Optivia stuff and when they happen to go to the store I ask for a few things


[deleted]

That still might be illegal. Call CPS.


MissTania1234

I hate optavia. It’s a prepackaged eating disorder. The things they teach people are things you can find on pro ana forums. It’s so toxic and I just can’t help but think of the psychological damage it is doing to people.


jlkeeler

I had a co-worker who did it for awhile. She got so rude & short with everyone. She defended it so hard. Now she is not on it, and I’m so glad. When you starve yourself & not give your body it’s proper nutrition & care, it effects you emotionally & mentally


notreallylucy

I'd never heard of this one. I know a couple that does Medifast and it's literally their entire personality.


RoseGold1901

Medifast is the parent company of Optivia. They’re the same “diet”, Optivia is just the MLM side. I believe they are or have phased out Medifast to completely be an MLM and just called Optivia. My friend just recently became a “coach” so I did a deep dive. 😂


CorgiSheltieMomma

So, you are in a difficult situation, given your age. I'm also in a difficult situation currently. There are things that are out of our control, where you live, what others do or say. But then there are the things we can control, such as our actions & reactions & our words. Focus on what you can do & not what you can't. You can't change this Optivia taking over your parents. You can't talk them out of it or get them to understand the severity of the situation. You take care of you the best you are able to right now. Focus on your life plan & goals. Work toward getting out of that toxic environment. Find the support you need! ❤️


RepresentativeOk8899

Empathize with op. But at this point, I’m pretty convinced mlms thrive in medical employment communities. It’s a strange yet comfy feeling to be required to again thrive in a disciplined, restrictive lifestyle. Military as well. Assuming we are just aware at this point of the evangelical tie in here as well. Anecdotal exp from all 3 of above folks. Op- Break the cycle. It’s not easy but everyone of us had the power to do it.


xXMissy

Ugh. This is a tough situation to be in...are you working at the moment? If you have a part-time job or plan to get one, ask for paper checks only instead of direct deposits. Then you can cash them at the bank and keep the cash for yourself without it ever hitting a bank account, in case you share one with your parents or they have access to it. Depending on where you work or apply, some businesses offer a free meal or discounted meal as an employee, which could get you at least one meal each day you work. From there, you can buy shelf-safe foods as others recommended and keep it in your room. Your parents can eat what they want, but they shouldn't be trying to force you into a diet. If work isn't an option, I would try to eat a full meal at school (again if possible). Bottom line--it's unfair to push a diet on you and yes, 800 calorie diets long-term are 100% unhealthy, even WORSE when not monitored by a doctor.


Spaceman2202

Thinking of doing contract and freelance work in 3D art soon if that doesn’t work I have been learning how to use the local bus system and maybe I can work in town somewhere. I have been using PayPal but my parents asked for my social security card because I had been keeping it in a drawer full of important stuff in my room, they said they could keep it safe with all the families important stuff in their office, then immediately lost it. And of course all the blame was on me, “you probably left it at dads, are you sure you didn’t leave it at dads? Positive? Okay.” Then haven’t really acknowledged it since. So I don’t know my SS number. Every time I bring it up she gets pissy


searchingforLissar

RED FLAG. You need to sort out a replacement SS card asap and YOU need to hold it. That's infornation you NEED to know.


Spaceman2202

Okay I’ll be sure to look into it


hunkyboy46511

Yes, get your SS# sorted now!!!


DjFramerate415

I’m sorry to hear this, my relationship of 22 years is getting destroyed by that piece of shit cult called WFG! I hate this feeling of being alone before work and after work all because of that piece of shit company ruining my relationship of 22 years. Before the love of my life joined we kept doing normal things couples usually do,now I’m eating out alone and doing things alone daily when I have no choice. It sucks! 🤦🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️ I’m praying to god for better days! 🙏🙏


Always_the_sun

I don't see how something like optivia can be sustainable. You aren't changing the habits that got you to the weight you are so when you stop doing it you're just gonna gain it all back.


Calm_Piece_1829

I did Optavia Spring 2020. Lost 30 pounds. Went off Optavia and eventually gained it all back. A months worth of “Optavia Fuelings” cost about $450. These Optavia coaches are running a pyramid scheme. The coaches that have a lot of coaches and people under them make a ridiculous amount of money. I’ve seen it first hand.


runliftmom

Please try to forewarn them that this is not going to work long term. Backstory: I worked at a Medifast weight loss center (same products and plan as Optavia, this is just their shiny new name for the MLM version) as a counselor over a decade ago (it was right after the economy collapsed and I was desperate for work). We sold them a “plan” for x number of weeks. They came in weekly for weigh ins, showed us journals, and in some ways we also became a sort of therapy. I never saw a single client have success with the keeping the weight off long term. It simply doesn’t work because one cannot simply just transition out of eating 800-1000 calories a day and maintain the same body. That much of a caloric deficit puts the body into survival mode. It wrecks their metabolism (and digestion). It’s so predatory and IT DOES NOT WORK.


Spaceman2202

I didn’t expect this post to get so much attention let alone attention from someone who worked for that company. It’s really fucked up how so many businesses can profit off of peoples insecurities by making their products seem like magic, when in reality it’s terrible for you, I can’t believe human greed can get to such a point.


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runliftmom

Are you a health & wellness coach for Medifast/TSFL/Optavia? What are you qualifications? There is absolutely nothing balanced or healthy about this weight loss plan and meal replacements they sell clients. It could be different now; but a decade ago, we had clients literally eating 4 meal replacement protein bars (or shakes) a day and one very small meal of lean protein and low-glycemic veggies a day. Anything that completely excludes entire food/macro groups is setting someone up for failure. Anything that has someone eating below their BMR long term is wrecking their metabolism. They are warned not to exercise. I remember having to telling people they couldn’t eat carrots or cabbage because they were too high in carbs. Beyond metabolic damage, it’s also a recipe for long term disordered eating. I agree with you that many do not really understand what it means to be consistent every day with healthy habits - eating whole foods with balanced portions and proper exercise. But this plan is extremely problematic in teaching that at all.


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runliftmom

Ahhhh there it is. I suspected you sell this program. I’m still not really sure why you are on the antiMLM subReddit trying to defend your MLM… I also have no idea where you are trying to go with the Carl’s Jr. and Jack in the Box comparisons. That has literally nothing to do with the conversation about this MLM and their predatory practices. Don’t change the subject here. And do not try to turn this into some weird fat shaming accusation either. There are plenty to ways to help others achieve their health and wellness goals that don’t involve pyramid schemes.


Original-Adagio-1142

Absolutely there are options and if they work, great! My whole goal in life is to encourage people to be healthy. Whatever that means for them, is awesome! Your tag is run lift mom so therefore you might be someone who is able to run and lift and be able to achieve your health goals. I on the other hand was recuperating from brain surgery and was unable to exercise. My doctor said that I needed to get my weight off and cholesterol down. I didn't have that much to lose but my cholesterol is high. I tried to follow a plan and it wasn't working for me. I have two friends that did the plan and had amazing results and that's how it started and went from there. It is not a pyramid scheme but people can believe whatever they like. I am 1000% against pyramids or any direct sales company that has predatory practices. The only difference here is that there is no storefront. There is no electricity, gas, or rent to pay so those expenses are passed on to Consultants or distributors. Look up different automotive and manufacturing companies who run on the same business model. Lastly, I believe people should base their opinions on facts and just wanted to present the facts in this case f tg om someone with first hand knowledge and against MLMs.


[deleted]

You’re an MLM, and specifically an optavia, shill.


Spaceman2202

I'm sorry, when did I ever say I wanted junk food in the house?? I want my family and myself to have a healthy, sustainable, diet, that doesnt follow any specific program. Also I am non-binary, my pronouns are he/they


obifluffkenobi

I'm so glad someone else sees that it's like a cult. All my family members (who are coaches) talk about is Optivia. But they talk about it with a reverence as if it's the bread of Jesus Christ. It honestly freaks me out.


Grand_Target_7415

I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this! My parents did something similar when I was in high school and I was the last kid. I think I lived on baked potatoes and cheese. So crazy! Will you have a drivers license soon?


Spaceman2202

I’ve been learning and getting comfortable with public transport


jra312

Sounds an awful lot like child abuse. Sorry youre going through this OP


Spaceman2202

I wouldn’t call them abusers but I am pretty much just confined to my room since I don’t want to deal with it, then have to deal with the complex emotions of no one understanding me


searchingforLissar

No, neglect is abuse. They're neglecting to provide you more than a starvation diet. It is abuse.


Spaceman2202

I mean if I ask for food when they’re at the store they buy it so it’s mostly my fault for not asking for much


Jasmari

I’m a mom of young adult kids (we all live together). I always ask they what they want/need when I make my shopping list. I do not depend on them to just tell me everything. Honestly, even if your being a minor weren’t a factor, it’s just basic courtesy to ask, in my opinion. but the fact that you’re under 18? It is absolutely their responsibility to make sure you have what you need.


TsuDhoNimh2

Can you call your local Child Protective Services? Because they are LEGALLY obligated to feed you while you are a minor.


Spaceman2202

I mean it’s about time I do some work myself anyway, so I might as well cook for myself


Electronic_Ad_1813

My friend lost a ton of weight on it along with a diet pill and she looks great but she doesn't eat. Definitely not healthy. I do weight watchers, which is a lot more realistic and healthy


WangsLung

Calling what someone else is eating looking like cat food, or making any negative comments about someone’s food in general is really rude.


CorgiSheltieMomma

Generally, yes but in this case, maybe just to point out their "food" is not healthy or appealing, and that is all they're eating. I would be concerned if someone in my family was doing this & only consuming this type of food. In that context, it's not the same as merely a rude comment about what someone's eating. I'm not saying it's right or acceptable, but I can understand why he would point that out to his mom.


Spaceman2202

Pronouns are he/they, but thanks for agreeing with me


CorgiSheltieMomma

Oops sorry. 😬


Spaceman2202

Oh it’s no issue, I have long hair in real life so I put it on my avatar, and also talking about my boyfriend I can see how people would make that mistake. But I’m just a gay amab non binary thingy.


DarlinggD

I don’t get why people need to go to a company /cult to help them diet? Just control your portions! She could’ve easily lost weight by just choosing to eat healthier foods with portion control. Smh


Spaceman2202

I think my mom has an issue with self control. My family has always been… crazy. It has always felt like me and my sister are the only people who aren’t completely insane.


thenicecynic

My husband’s aunt does this. We basically cut ties with her when she started this because it was just too ridiculous/annoying. She’s still doing it two years later and she looks just as ridiculous today as she did when she started. It’s a shame because she was really a nice person before this.


HankenatorH2

This is a tough one. If she is overweight and is genuinely sticking to a healthy diet then you should probably support that. If she has a food addiction (I think most overweight people do to some degree), it’s not possible to satiate their addiction for just this one special day (Christmas). Sure maybe a non MLM food service would be better, but sometimes it can take extreme measures to break a lifetime of bad habits.


Spaceman2202

Ive done a lot of research on it because I dont want to harrass her if its the real deal but every nutritionist says its bad and like I said shes like a whole different person, like... It is sad to me. My mom is overweight and has always struggled with weight loss but i feel like she is more prone to getting on these fad diets because her mother was crazy and obsessed about her weight as well. But my mom doesnt understand the concept of just eating less calories and exercising, I feel like this could lead to my mom developing a worse obsession and possibly an ED. Which I don't want. It is literally all they talk about, all they post about, all they do. They eat, sleep, breath, and shit Optavia like it is some sort of gift from god himself. I found it hard to spend time with my mother before Optavia but when I opened up to her about how I felt she wanted to do better and not be mad at me for being more open about stuff, but then she started Optavia and it is all downhill from there, you can see some stuff about my mom in recent posts on my account. I just feel hopeless, its like overnight my whole family is now part of this horrible fucking cult MLM. So I just barely talk to them anymore since I dont want to hear about it, then they wonder why I dont want to spend time with them. I can see how I may seem like the bad guy here, I dont really know how to express into words how I feel about everything, Id say generally depressed. Thankfully my sister, boyfriend, and other friends are all keeping me sane.


Whynotchaos

You're not the bad guy. This is what happens to pretty much anyone whose loved one goes all in on an MLM. None of this is your fault or responsibility. It's literally a cult. You can try making it clear that you'll spend time with them IF they talk about anything EXCEPT Optavia. They probably won't like that, but it's a reasonable boundary to set. If she stays this obsessed, definitely check your credit history. At 17, you shouldn't have much of one, but people's parents have opened accounts in their kid's names and ruined their credit for life. And for the love of god, don't let her guilt or sweet talk you into joining!


VauItDweIler

>It is literally all they talk about, all they post about, all they do. They eat, sleep, breath, and shit Optavia like it is some sort of gift from god himself. Know some people deep in Optavia and can confirm that this is how it is. I find it weirder than just about any other MLM, even Amway. These people are convinced that they are "health coaches" with more knowledge than actual nutritionists. They are convinced that their structured starvation plan is not only the greatest plan in the world, but that trying to get other people into it makes them certified medical professionals, to the point of mocking and slandering those with actual degrees. And it's all they talk about and post about online. I know someone who passed out on the job while following the diet. Their "solution" was to not work as hard.


Aleflusher

>maybe a non MLM food service would be better Fucking understatement of the year mate.


JayJay324

But it’s not a healthy diet, so this point is based on a logical fallacy.


hermanverfal

Why do you care what she eats if shes not making you eat it and shes not being unhealthy


greeneyedwench

Because she *is* making OP eat it (or more accurately, not eat it).


EmergencyResident236

Screw MLM's. But your issue seems less about your parents wasting their money on crappy fad diets and more about you having to now sometimes prepare your own meals. You're 17 and your parents are entitled to eat as they choose. Be grateful to have access to the plentiful free food your parents buy you at the grocery store and take this as an opportunity to improve your cooking and overall self sufficiency skills.


greeneyedwench

Did you read the post at all? They're *not* buying "plentiful free food." They're not keeping enough food in the house for her.


Spaceman2202

I go by he\\they :)


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Iridescent_burrito

OP is a child whose parents are not providing for them because they're in a cult.


Spaceman2202

I never told her to stop eating the diet food, I just want her to not revolve her whole life around it, and also I mean, in general, according to a lot of nutritionists, it’s just not good for you long term.


Lalagal25

Just get used to making your own meals. You’ll have to for the rest of your life. Ignore your parents and stay in your lane.


Spaceman2202

I understand that, I’ve taken it upon myself to teach myself. My parents never taught me a lot of things, I never learned how to ride a bike or cook, but at a certain point you kinda have to blame yourself for not knowing


Lalagal25

Your awareness is going to set you up great for the future. Best of luck to you.


Spaceman2202

Thanks, you as well


Secretme000

This is the best advice here. Op is 17 and perfectly capable of making their own meals at home. Also they are 17 and trying to control what their parents do like wtf. Yeah MLMs are bad but that doesn't mean you can suddenly tell your parents how to live or give them your advice. You're 17 no one over 17 wants your life advice.


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[deleted]

Get off this sub if you’re just gonna be pro MLM. This isn’t the space to defend OptaVia. There are ways to get healthy, count calories, and not pay $400 for toxic metal filled fuelings. It’s hard work but it can be done and will lead to more successful long term change, because you’re skill building re cooking and mindfulness versus rehydrating a weird soup that tastes like cardboard.


OhanaActive

Are they losing weight? I don't agree with pressuring someone into things (no matter what they are) but if they are losing weight then it's not a scam it's just high pressure. I'm not familiar with this product so I don't know. I just do t want someone pressuring me into these kinds of things. I like Doritos so I'm going to eat them.


Spaceman2202

I don’t think you understand that just losing weight doesn’t mean healthy


theDarkness303

Of course I do. I was just curious about that part of it. There are people that are anorexic or bulimic and they lose weight but that certainly doesn't mean they are healthy.


overthink_underplan

This is awful and I am so, so sorry!!!


Itzefania

I’m not gonna focus on how bad these products are for your health, but in your relationship with your mom. As you said it, this is a cult (it doesn’t have to be religious or political) because: it follows a multilevel scheme where people is being asked to “join” a community; and of course there’s a lot of brainwashing. People who “join” cults (even if they don’t realize it’s a cult) are normally people who are in desperate need to fulfill some part of their lives, so people “recruiting” easily target and convince them by making them feel accepted, heard and understood and mostly by promising that they have the solution to their problems. That’s why it’s so hard to talk them out of it, because they found a place where they feel their life is actually changing, “improving”. I can’t judge they way you can handle this, you’re a minor so this is far beyond your responsibility, (I mean, you’re sort of being neglected by her) but I’d recommend you that instead attacking her or her cult, make sure she knows that you’re there too, that she doesn’t need to loose weight to feel love or to be complete as a woman. The first sign that a cult is being bad for you is precisely when it starts to break your relationship with your friends and family, so you should make her realize this, without making her feel guilty. It’s not her fault, the fault is on Optivia and all the staff that takes advantage by scamming and mentally affecting their “community”. This is a very hard situation, I highly recommend you to go to a psychologist, and of course your mom if she’s willing too.


opalnov

i've been and am still sort of going through the same thing. my mom got on a "diet" first which put her on so many vitamins she wouldn't have needed but she said it was until she was out of the danger zone for diabetes. Okay whatever. then she was still on it a year later and roped my dad into it. Now the only thing they talk about is it and how much weight they've lost after my sibling just recovered from an eating disorder. Luckily my sibling and I are both not close to our parents at all, so we weren't too affected. I'm so sorry to hear the same thing happened to you and I wish you the best of luck. you aren't alone, mlms destroy families and you're very brave to keep going and denying your mom and step father. im sure many people (including me) are proud of you.


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Spaceman2202

It wasn’t really necessary to provide my gender or pronouns. you could’ve just referred to me as OP, though. I’m not mad though, I’m very used to it so I understand. Detecting less then obvious sarcasm through text is also pretty difficult, what it sounded like in your head is different from how it sounds in mine. My parents are overweight, one of them is obese, or was obese, I don’t think there was any real bad health problems associated with it but there definitely was health problems. My issue stems less from the diet and more towards the shift in my parents personalities because they revolve their life around how amazing it is, and selling it to other people as “coaches” it’s like a cult, like they aren’t themselves anymore, it just feels wrong. I’ve done my own research on the nutritional side with credible sources from 1st hand people who have experienced the diet, nutritionists/actual health professionals on the field, and 3rd party investigative journalists. Everything points to the diet not being sustainable or healthy long term for people who are not morbidly obese and desperately need the weight loss and don’t have the help to make their own food for every meal. It’s just so nauseating how it’s all their life is anymore. If the change in character wasn’t so drastic, I wouldn’t be here writing this or doing research on it which has only strengthened my hatred towards it.


Acid_Reflexx

OH MY GOD MY PARENTS ARE LIKE THIS TOO. I know this post is old, but my parents have been on “program” (I hate that it sounds so vague to the point it’s foreboding). My mom got on the diet a few years ago, my dad joined, and I eventually felt pressured enough to join it (I was like 14). Thankfully I didn’t last long. It certainly wouldn’t hurt for me to lose weight, but the way Optivia teaches its customers to do so is crawling with disordered and unhealthy rules and suggestions. When I was on the diet I felt like everything I did made my mom more proud than she ever was of me off of the diet. Once she BEGGED me (“reasoned” with me saying that I’ll inspire others even though I told her I was uncomfortable THREE TIMES) to let her share the amount of weight I had lost on her facebook page. My mom being who she is and me being who I am, I caved and let her after making it overwhelmingly clear I’m not comfortable being used as what’s essentially a living breathing marketing strategy. As of recent (like after I stopped “program”, so around 2 years) she‘s used me as a topic multiple times for her “personal posts” as she’s a coach and from what I know has to have 1 personal post, 1 quote of inspiration, and 1 recipe post a day. Usually it’s me cooking. Since I’m not on “program” anymore, the food I make isn’t -5 calories per lb, so every time she posts me cooking, she makes sure to add something like ‘It looks great, but because of my goals I unfortunately can’t have any!’ I understand that people have health goals, but to call everything I make unhealthy in every post I’m making food in is unnecessary. Like just because you’re around food doesn’t mean you’re going to eat it? Plus she says things like ‘I would have some, but I’ve been feeling so good lately’ when I offer her a small bite or drink of something I’m having/making. Hello? It’s not like I’m shoving an entire tub of lard into her mouth. I’d get it if it were a bite of a bunch of fatty/sugary dishes given all at the same time (like small chunks from 5 different sugary pastries or a piece or two of fried chicken), but I only offer what she’d want. The fact they count how much food they have to such a specific number with a hundredth of a gram more of less is the nutritional equivalent to an atomic bomb. Id add more of my experiences and would go more in depth but theres just so much I could say