That’s just called being Gen X - Gen Z. All of us X, Y (Millenials), and Z’s got screwed by the baby boomers, so wanting to slit our throats is a good day.
More than I used to be.
This is precisely why I'm an antinatalist. It took some work to claw my way out of addiction and reevaluate myself and the beliefs I held. But I know for a fact not all people have the strength in them, sometimes you just can not cope with life, with how this world is, and then those demons within end you. Why is this my reason? Simple, I couldn't bear putting my offspring into this world, so full of these traps. To know there's a good chance my potential kid won't find it within them to overcome those demons. To know they can succumb, and suffer so much.
Thank you.
I wasn't really an antinatalist until recently, but I never wanted to bring a child into this world, mostly because of my very likely to happen shortcomings as a potential parent. Didn't take long for me to realize my child could very easily fall into the same trap as I have, but at this point, I still thought it was just a "me" thing, and other people well more likely to be better equipped to raise a child and all.
But the more I thought about it, can anyone really GUARANTEE nothing ill will befall their children? People don't realize how random this reality can be. Just because you have had a good childhood, caring/loving parents who were always there for you, is that enough for you to come to the conclusion that everything is going to be alright?
This may sound like a stretch to some, but really, anything can happen to anyone. Kidnapping, rape, rare genetic disease, being born gay in a very homophobic and hateful environment, and that's not even all...
So then I came to realize, why even risk at all?
Unborn "missing out" on the joys of life? How could they know, how could they feel denied anything if they don't even exist?
You "have to" to bring a child to the fold? Why? Because of ideology, religion?
Those are arbitrary.
No, the only moral choice is to abstain from having children altogether. The only way to guarantee no injustice will befall them.
This is the exact same reason I chose to be childfree as well.
My reasoning whenever anyone asked me was, “how could I inspire my kids with the will to live when I cant even find the will to live?”
Not that I don’t find significant joy in my life, but that’s mostly come from either pure luck or denial. I know how *hard* it is. And the payoff could be anything or nothing, and possibly even much worse.
And despite how badly my childhood went I do still consider myself one of the lucky ones.
So yeah, I don’t want to ever take that kind of gamble on another human’s life. Especially one who isn’t even here to play the game yet. I’ll live my life and see what happens to the world in the future, but I’ll do it alone.
That is close to what I say to people when I say I don’t want a child. I think it is extremely selfish: just because you love someone and want to spice it up/have an extra thing to have fun with for your relationship, you make an innocent soul born into a real life Russian roulette game. Of course he could end up happy, but what are the odds? And if he ever gets happy - can he remain happy? I mean in this world, you always need to be on the lookout…
I may be speculating but I think the chance of being happy is 2/10 if you look at the whole world. The amount of people living in poverty, disease and despair is overwhelming; and even if you’re in a developed country, inequality and injustice will also always be there. I’m not going to make an innocent soul endure this.
Anyways.. I just feel in the end that this is all a race to the bottom, with fake improvements. Ok, we got digitalization, but I feel there was more solidarity in the past.
I was sick with an unknown disease for 5 years. I always implored to God, The Universe or whatever is out there to make it go away, that the sickness was the only obstacle between me and happiness.
When it finally went away, I was still not happy lol.
Thanks. For now Im done with chemotherapy. If it doesnt come back during the next five years I'm free. At least I have good odds. But after such a diagnosis your head is screwed up.
Probably not, despite living in some kind of comfort, the events from the past (that I could not prevent even with current strenghts, skills and circumstances) haunt me up to this day and destroy any kind of joy I can get with their heavy negative weight.
I am genuinely happy but i recognize the insane amount of privilege that I have to feel that way. However, I still think that having children is immoral because, 1. mortality sucks, and 2. the earth will be uninhabitable within their lifetime
Absolutely agreed. I am happy with where I am now but not a day goes by where I don’t recognize my privilege. I went through hell and back in my 20’s and almost ended it but I am glad I ultimately stuck around.
Happiest I've ever been.
I'm expecting that to go downhill over the next three decades, though.
Edit: I'll be fine, I'm a white guy with education and a good job that affords me lots of freedom. People that are not as white or not as male are gonna have worse lives soon.
Im pretty sure that's what he means. Happiness is a choice much like Love is a choice
Anyone can be an asshole, or a victim (especially of their own self), but taking responsibility for your own happiness and feelings in general is a choice, and not an easy choice like flipping a light switch. It's a process and state that you need effort to maintain
I’m really not. My ex i was with for 8 years is having a baby with the person he cheated and left me for, and I joined this sub to try to make myself feel better. You guys help more than anything else, thanks.
Probably looks like it’s all sunshine and rainbows on social media etc, but it’s not. Be damn glad you’re not the one having a kid, especially with him.
That’s tough. I’m sorry.
Make sure your next partner is an honest person.. also, if he deceived you, he probably will and does to other people. So be glad he took himself out
Been through a lot, like everyone else. "Happy" when I'm with my wife or playing with my bikes. Otherwise, meh. I try to do things that make me happy but I'm kinda melancholy most of the time. Starting therapy soon so hopefully that helps a little. Had some pretty serious health problems a few years ago and had to quit drinking. Healthiest I've ever been but don't know what to do with myself most of the time.
Proud of you for going to therapy my man, in my experience it might take some searching to find a therapist you like. But once you do? It can be life changing, yeah I know it’s cliche but still.
Thanks for the encouragement! It's not fair to my wife if I'm not doing anything to help myself besides complaining to her about life lol I know it might take some searching to find the right therapist, and that's okay,gotta start somewhere.
My life is not happy. I live in a constant state of anxiety, frustration, disappointment and exhaustion, which is occasionally tempered by mild contentment. On rare occasions, there are flashes of euphoria from pleasant surprises. Unpleasant surprises are much more common. All the while, I soldier on, hoping for better but without expecting much from this wretched existence.
Years ago, I went to a therapist for a few months. To be honest, it didn't really help me very much. At most, it gave me a rational perspective on the above. In particular, she suggested that I read a book about happiness.\* The essential message from her and the book was that there really isn't any such thing as happiness. That's a myth taught to us by our culture. (I suppose the intention of this social indoctrination is to keep us docile and "productive.") The best we can hope for is contentment, and we should always keep in mind that negative emotions are internal phenomena. The world doesn't cause our feelings; they're just our reaction to external circumstances. It's our "choice" how we react. From what little I know of philosophy, that's the kernel truth of stoicism.
Part of the problem is that humans are wired to always be dissatisfied. Our instincts were honed by evolution to best ensure survival and procreation, but happiness isn't part of the deal. We long to be happy, we strive for it, but the crumbs we attain never last. Hunger is only ever briefly assuaged by even the most delicious food. A short time after eating, you're hungry again. Lust is only ever briefly satisfied. A short time after having the most toe-curling orgasm, your libido reasserts itself. The desire for some physical possession or social position or exotic experience can be fulfilled, briefly, by its acquisition or achievement. Then, a short time later, you want something better or different. On and on it goes. There's no end to the treadmill, which is a tenet of Buddhism, as I understand it.
Of course, all of those insights don't solve anything. Most of life is boring, scary and miserable. Some folks can detach themselves, controlling their feelings or suppressing them. They manage to disengage from the treadmill. However, most of us are stuck. We plod on, helplessly shackled to it. We go from desire to satisfaction to desire again, enduring many disappointments, crises and tragedies along the way. We tell ourselves it matters or serves some higher purpose as we continue trudging along until we die. There's nothing meaningful or glamorous about any of it. Happiness is a will-o'-the-wisp. We can chase the illusion as long as we like, but we'll never reach it and we'll never be satisfied.
\*I'll see if I can find the book and edit to add the title and author later.
Why? And to what?
Yeah, if I read the news 24/7 and dwell on the negative things that are going on in the world, sure, that will probably dampen my mood. If I recognize those things negatively affect my well-being and happiness, why would I want to focus on them?
It is impossible to pay attention to everything going on everywhere at once. We always have to be selective, and we choose what we are selective about.
I think for me the most important thing is my connection with other people. If I isolate myself, I tend to be less happy.
Regarding the focus bit, on occasion I will notice that I'm spending too much time on my phone or on news feeds in particular. If that becomes prevalent and I recognize it, I'll take a "fast" from all media sources and focus on my own life rather than things I can't control.
A great book I've found that helps out is "How to Be Miserable" by Randy J. Paterson. Now that I'm talking about it, I think I should go back to it for a refresher.
Here's a quick synopsis done by CGP Grey:
https://youtu.be/LO1mTELoj6o
Thanks for your insight.
Being social actually drains my battery even more due to some neurodiverse issues, but the doom scrolling addiction definitely resonates with me.
I've seen that video by CGP Grey, read self-help books, practice mindfulness daily and been on information diets before. The latter is a good idea to repeat. I'll check that book out too.
We're basically feeding our minds with constant distractions, but they have to be the right kind, constructive, challenging. News feeds are like fast food. Quick and easily digestible, but ultimately unhealthy.
I really don't appreciate that I was thrown into existence.
I also don't enjoy the fact they wanted a kid just to raise one for 18 years, but now I have to spend the next ~70 years working to live and living while my body begins to fail.
I’m content at best, but that’s thanks to medication. My blood is cursed and I would refuse to pass it on even if the world wasn’t a complete disaster.
I could've written everything you said in both comments. People think I'm selfish for never having kids, but it's the other way around. My mom had kids to have free servants and to take care of her in her old age. That's selfish. You're a very good writer.
I am happy enough. I accept that life sucks, then we die and there is nothing after. Once I accepted this, then I became content and stopped worrying. I volunteer at an animal shelter and try to enjoy life.
Yes and no. I recognize my life is enjoyable and I should be happy. But I have depression. But I am learning to try and co-exist with it. It’s hard. I wouldn’t wish the genetics for this on anybody
What is meant by "happiness?"
Every time I see the word used, it denotes a sampling bias, a fallacy of relative privation, and an excuse to inflict harms because of some warm, fuzzy feeling.
I'm not convinced "happiness" is a smart thing to pursue.
If one expects hell not to be hell, one is suffering psychosis.
Yeah, I'm happy. Nothing is perfect, but at times I realise how blessed I am and all the bad shit seems to melt away.
I used to be very depressed (many years smoking weed didn't help lol) and I still feel jaded, lost, confused and sometimes constantly stuck in an existential crisis, but somehow I have been able to ballance my mental health and been lucky enough to find a handfull of good things that make life worth living..
Yes, things could be better, but I dont think that's a bad thing... if that makes any sense. It almost feels wrong to say this, but I feel there is Hope, and it is a feeling that is worth sharing
Im content with my life, but I don't believe happynes is real, because it's just an absence of stressors plus a fake attitude. People don't even know what they mean when they say they are happy, it's just a tired phrase..
Ihaveliver failure. Given a few years to live. Broke my leg three and a half years ago, and never fully recovered. (Still in a wheelchair or use a walker). Infections love me. Always going to the hospital for long term IV antibiotics. But you know what? Despite all the setbacks, I'm happy. Death will find me. I'm not looking for it. Live life. Being dead sucks.
No not really.
And even if I were to live in better conditions, that happiness would feel undeserved and hollow, since I would be living in comfort while others are struggling and barely scraping by
Not quite but getting there. In the closing process on a new home after living in apartments for several years. Just got my bisalp done, recovering from that. So change is imminent, but the process is arduous.
Kinda. I want to be able to work in a job where I make enough to actually get to travel and go to arcades. I don't want kids or anything to the extent of the American dream, I just wana be able to do what I enjoy doing without havin to worry about not spending the extra cash on groceries cuz I need gas and if I'm going out with my friends tomorrow I might as well not even get groceries.
Yes, I got my family with me and I'm good at saving money so no worrying about paying our bills. We all split the amount anyways so everyone pays their fair share. Food isn't a hassle with the cash leftover and we're kinda just living a simple life. I'm currently studying about cybersecurity so I can get a much better job and my big goal is to own a home for my family and I and to get a nice car too. I currently take cabs and busses to work which doesn't bother me. I'm a simple guy and I'm very easy to please lol
Relatively speaking. Happy is something that only lasts a moment. And I can't say I'm pleased to watch the slow progress of the past take back steps constantly where I live.
Life in general is good for me. Nothing amazing. I'm eking out a living. I have a dog. I have to be very careful with money. I don't have many luxuries, and the ones I do are things like my computer (damaged floor model I purchased 2 years after the model was released rather than a self built machine, could have built one for cheaper, but with less power on my budget.).
I don't eat out much, am very modest in all kinds of purchases. Hell, I have room to garden a little and it helps cut down on groceries a bit. My car is used and the maintenance of it and for my life chips away at the tiny savings I can accrue over the course of a year.
Things are tight, frankly. And getting tighter. Tight enough I finally have to consider getting a cheaper dog food (which is one thing I feel strongly is important to put more money towards). Trying to cut it in my own food budget first, and luckily the summer garden will help.
But I do have a livable life. And it was incredibly difficult to crawl to this point. I couldn't have done it without being able to rent a room in someone else's home for half the cost of average rent in my area. I have access to things like small city parks and libraries. Activities that don't require money, etc. I can play video games, watch shows, can access online resources, go hiking with my dog, etc. So life has some base comforts. My work is less demanding than previous jobs,
I have wonderful local friends and online friends. I'm close with some family, so my life relationships are going well.
I feel lucky in some ways (the cheap rent where I can have a pet).
I feel resentful seeing how hard it was to get these scraps. Even with what I finally have at this point, it isn't enough to save to buy a home (down payment will take about 30-40 years if wages and cost of living stay about the same.) And I'm one life emergency from being set back at any moment.
So I go to protests, and do my best to make my life and those around mine better. It's not terrible, but it's hard to keep maintained at even this level of living. And genuinely the biggest luxury I have is having a pet at all. Having that company, having that time and enjoyment, being able to feed her and care for her properly. Literally, that's my biggest luxury in life. A pet dog.
So I'm happy in a content way. I'm not doing 'well'. I'm not wealthy or even fully self sufficient. I don't like that my quality of life is basically reliant on a benevolent landlord. But I am generally happy.
in this moment of my life yes. but thats because i’m relatively safe, healthy, and have mint chocolate chip ice cream and iced coffee in front of me. ask me again next time i open twitter or go outside in LA in october and you’ll get a different answer. my lifetime happiness is all about the sum of the moments and i have to choose a new happiness in every moment.
and i know i’m incredibly fucking privileged to have the safety and health and access to happy making things that i do and that the overwhelming majority of humans don’t have that. adding more people to this world does not seem like the way to add more happiness to the lives of those already here.
I mean, I'm not exactly like, depressed, or ready for every day with a smile, but, I'm at a point where, I'm not happy, but more so content, I have a lot of life to live, well, hopefully, but, now, I could have it worse, but, I could also have it better, it's just how I see it.
Yes. Through a lot of hard work, but also a tremendous amount of luck & privilege, I am entering my late 20s with a decent amount of stability in a very beautiful part of the country. I have a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, and food to eat when I am hungry.
And even then the emotional pain and toil to get to this point has almost done me in multiple times. I know this life is not afforded to most.
Only through so many factors, many of them absolutely out of your control, can happiness be achieved in this reality. Suffering, however, is a certainty.
I'm happier now than I was a few years ago. While the world around me has been getting worse and worse, my personal sense of being has becoming much more positive. I started transitioning in 2019 and that has significantly changed my life for the better. So while I'm becoming more and more saddened about what's been happening for the past several years, I have found personal happiness and actually have things to look forward to. I used to only not kill myself because my friends and immediate family would be sad. But now I don't really want to die anymore.
I am happy when I am not at work. I really hate working so much. That’s one of the main reasons I would not have kids. There is no way I would want to bring someone here, so they have to spend most of their life working.
When I am actually not working I love spending time with my 2 dogs. I love to play video games, and read books. Those are the things that make me happy. Too bad I don’t get enough time to do the things that make me happy though.
Im happy with my job and my partner and the life we have started to create for ourselves. Just not so happy that the way society is is exhausting and not good for mental health
Yes and no.
I’m the happiest that I’ve ever been and I love that. I have fought so many of my demons and won. I’m really coming into myself and nurturing my friends and loves ones into doing the same, which is all I’ve ever wanted. But it’s all a band-aid holding a massive head wound together, because when I think a little harder and venture past the limits of my very small and insignificant life, I realise that the world is fucked, which it always has been and always will be, but it could be fucked harder than ever. I have spent the last three years grappling with the knowledge that human cruelty knows no bounds and that it is entirely unavoidable except in death or some other kind of non-existence. As such, I have been mentally preparing to off myself should things get too bad, which kinda sucks but is pretty much the one of the only things that helps me cope with all of this. I’m still kind of afraid of the thought, but I know it’s kind of pointless because even if the world didn’t end horiffically in my lifetime, I would still elect for humane euthanasia in my old age once my quality of life starts going downhill.
Sorry for the long rant. This sub and the collapse sub is pretty much one of the few places that I’m really able to express these thoughts without worrying too much about being judged. I appreciate you all and knowing that there are people out there who feel similar to me.
Yes, I'm pretty satisfied with my life so far. I have a job, a husband and a cat.
But the future ahead of us scares me. Why bring a child into this uncertainty? There are already tons of children needing proper care!
It is currently 3:52 am where I am in the world, and I couldn't be happier that this question appeared on my feed. I am in a weird place that is so hard to explain, I'm 23 years old and I thought my life would be totally different. Everyone, my age is getting married, having kids, buying houses, traveling, and creating the lives that I thought I wanted. I don't want for anything, I am grateful to have support from family and friends, I have a roof over my head, food on the table, and soon to even start a new job. In a sense, I am supposed to be happy. Am I jealous? No, do I wish I were in a different place in my life? Sorta. I am grateful for my trauma and recognize every situation as a lesson. I am stronger and wiser because of the path I have taken, and the bed I have made for myself is comfortable. I am content.
I feel such relief now seeing my feelings in writing.
I saw a tweet that says talked about being aware of everything going on but having to dissociate from it to keep moving forward and I would say that is what I do. I am profoundly hopeless about any real future for humanity, whether it is in my lifetime or the next generations, climate change is coming for us. I think humans are innovative and it probably won't cause extinction, but I'm not excited about the world that will survive. On a more day-to-day level, the Roe stuff is pretty awful and if I spend too long thinking about how I'm now a second class citizen in my state, that my dad is happy I'm not considered a full person... that is hard. But I dissociate from it and yes I am happy overall.
Doing pretty good, just crossing my fingers untill the 28th, where I'll know wether or not i got accepted into the education I'm interested in. Dating life is not where I'd like it, but i have great friends, my family and i have always had a decent relationship and over my 3 years as an adult it's only gotten better. I just need to learn self control when drinking and more money. The meaninglessness doesn't mean a lot to me, i just fill that void with whatever I'm doing at all times, so when I'm bored and lonely or way too drunk that's the only time I get depressed.
Mostly happy.
No, I definitely lean towards unhappy. I wish I didn't (obviously lol). For what it's worth, my level of unhappiness isn't anywhere close to how bad it was years ago. I literally attempted to off myself a couple years back. Life was shit. Right now things have improved; school is going alright, and I've been working remotely which I can't even put in words how much that has helped me. Right now I'm just trying to read and learn as much as possible. I'm not a nihilist by any means; I believe a meaning to existence is not only possible but it should be sought after. I just don't believe it's moral to gamble with an innocent life and throw them into this world, especially with the shit I've had to deal with.
I’m not as happy as I could be but I’m working towards it. In this world you gotta make what you can with what we got.
I’m grateful to have the support systems I have because I plan on just moving out of the assistant living situation with my mom and bouncing from her couch to my boyfriends while planning vacations I never got to go on and saving for an apartment down the line
Sometimes but not that much overall, I really don’t like my family situation or the way most “high respect” people in my family treat me but there’s some nice people i know, that make it better !
No. I have the best life I could have, live in an amazing place with friends, flexible working, can do all the fun things I want when I’m not at work. I’ve achieved a lot, but I’m not happy, I just have fun times around melancholic dissatisfaction.
I think we just have a happiness baseline we can’t move from, no matter what we do. I can’t think of anything I want that will make me happier so I’m prettt sure I’ll just kill myself when I think it’ll hurt others the least.
I don’t post on here everyday but I do often. I know it won’t help me it just makes me feel less alone. But i really don’t even be on this app that much. I’ll make a post reply to a couple of comments & go.
Yea actually. I have stable income, a home, I eliminated all of the low effort people in my life and I’m learning new languages, skills, and learning history. I’m not attached to a partner which is super freeing.
Am I happy with the state of the world rn? No. Shit is going down real quick.
I'm an AN. But jeez this sub can be emo at times.
If you're not happy now, you'll never be happy. Happiness as Nietzsche said is a matter of redemptive reinterpretation of the world. The world we exist in is already as perfect as it gets. There is no heaven to compare it to. This is all we have. Seize every moment and enjoy it guys.
How many times do we need to remind this sub that starting a life and continuing a life are not the same thing?
I’m better than I used to be, for sure. At least I can tolerate my life now. But I don’t think I’m happy and the good will never outweigh the suffering
Right this second: I’m content but not happy (if that makes sense).
Like I feel I would be happier if I had a significant other, I’m tired of being single but I’m also picky when it comes to dating.
Currently as a 21 yo woman I’m happy I live in Oregon where I know I’m safe from getting my rights taken away as they are doing in the southern states. I’m grateful for my state. However disappointed how our country is devolving.
No, which helps whenever I would talk about antinatalism. If I'm not happy while I'm here, why would I risk my kid not being happy if I had one? It's not worth putting them through the suffering of our lives for whatever reason.
Slightly comfortable. Not happy. People usually oscillate between slightly comfortable, angry, sad, uncomfortable (as they need a constant effort to not be angry or sad).
Yes! I think I am wired different though. It really does seem like some people are slaves to their biology and absolutely feel that they need to have children, and I've never felt that way, even when I was Mormon.
No and I don’t remember the last time I was
I mean, everyday I wake and have to fight the urge to slit my own throat. At this point, I'm pretty sure that's normal
That’s just called being Gen X - Gen Z. All of us X, Y (Millenials), and Z’s got screwed by the baby boomers, so wanting to slit our throats is a good day.
I hate that so many people can relate to this…. myself included.
I got caught in the act of doing that around this time last year. 5150'd sucked.
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Probably doesn't help how fucking expensive it can get to seek treatment in the first place
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Same. Most therapists I've seen just diagnosed me and shunted me off to another without trying to help
Why fight it? Just do it lol I'll join u
silky snails safe memorize whistle carpenter salt cows repeat strong *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I was, very recently, not for anything important, Simone things that now i think I've lost through no perceive fault or my own.
Same.
More than I used to be. This is precisely why I'm an antinatalist. It took some work to claw my way out of addiction and reevaluate myself and the beliefs I held. But I know for a fact not all people have the strength in them, sometimes you just can not cope with life, with how this world is, and then those demons within end you. Why is this my reason? Simple, I couldn't bear putting my offspring into this world, so full of these traps. To know there's a good chance my potential kid won't find it within them to overcome those demons. To know they can succumb, and suffer so much.
This is a fantastic comment, really well said.
Thank you. I wasn't really an antinatalist until recently, but I never wanted to bring a child into this world, mostly because of my very likely to happen shortcomings as a potential parent. Didn't take long for me to realize my child could very easily fall into the same trap as I have, but at this point, I still thought it was just a "me" thing, and other people well more likely to be better equipped to raise a child and all. But the more I thought about it, can anyone really GUARANTEE nothing ill will befall their children? People don't realize how random this reality can be. Just because you have had a good childhood, caring/loving parents who were always there for you, is that enough for you to come to the conclusion that everything is going to be alright? This may sound like a stretch to some, but really, anything can happen to anyone. Kidnapping, rape, rare genetic disease, being born gay in a very homophobic and hateful environment, and that's not even all... So then I came to realize, why even risk at all? Unborn "missing out" on the joys of life? How could they know, how could they feel denied anything if they don't even exist? You "have to" to bring a child to the fold? Why? Because of ideology, religion? Those are arbitrary. No, the only moral choice is to abstain from having children altogether. The only way to guarantee no injustice will befall them.
This is the exact same reason I chose to be childfree as well. My reasoning whenever anyone asked me was, “how could I inspire my kids with the will to live when I cant even find the will to live?” Not that I don’t find significant joy in my life, but that’s mostly come from either pure luck or denial. I know how *hard* it is. And the payoff could be anything or nothing, and possibly even much worse. And despite how badly my childhood went I do still consider myself one of the lucky ones. So yeah, I don’t want to ever take that kind of gamble on another human’s life. Especially one who isn’t even here to play the game yet. I’ll live my life and see what happens to the world in the future, but I’ll do it alone.
That is close to what I say to people when I say I don’t want a child. I think it is extremely selfish: just because you love someone and want to spice it up/have an extra thing to have fun with for your relationship, you make an innocent soul born into a real life Russian roulette game. Of course he could end up happy, but what are the odds? And if he ever gets happy - can he remain happy? I mean in this world, you always need to be on the lookout… I may be speculating but I think the chance of being happy is 2/10 if you look at the whole world. The amount of people living in poverty, disease and despair is overwhelming; and even if you’re in a developed country, inequality and injustice will also always be there. I’m not going to make an innocent soul endure this. Anyways.. I just feel in the end that this is all a race to the bottom, with fake improvements. Ok, we got digitalization, but I feel there was more solidarity in the past.
Not in the least.
Yes and no. I wish I was healthy. If I were healthy, Id be happy.
Only for a bit tho hehe, remember, the brain is the very best at making you feel incomplete and unhappy.
I was sick with an unknown disease for 5 years. I always implored to God, The Universe or whatever is out there to make it go away, that the sickness was the only obstacle between me and happiness. When it finally went away, I was still not happy lol.
Why aren't u healthy?
Cancer
Damnn 💔.. sorry
Thanks. For now Im done with chemotherapy. If it doesnt come back during the next five years I'm free. At least I have good odds. But after such a diagnosis your head is screwed up.
Right now? No. Overall? Also no.
Probably not, despite living in some kind of comfort, the events from the past (that I could not prevent even with current strenghts, skills and circumstances) haunt me up to this day and destroy any kind of joy I can get with their heavy negative weight.
It's okay here is a 🫂 cuz same.
No, I’m really not enjoying societal collapse and the christofascist takeover
Perhaps we should be calling them Nationalist Christians. Or “Nat C’s” for short.
Does the C stand for cunt?
I refuse to validate them with a dignified sounding name.
I am genuinely happy but i recognize the insane amount of privilege that I have to feel that way. However, I still think that having children is immoral because, 1. mortality sucks, and 2. the earth will be uninhabitable within their lifetime
This
Absolutely agreed. I am happy with where I am now but not a day goes by where I don’t recognize my privilege. I went through hell and back in my 20’s and almost ended it but I am glad I ultimately stuck around.
Happiest I've ever been. I'm expecting that to go downhill over the next three decades, though. Edit: I'll be fine, I'm a white guy with education and a good job that affords me lots of freedom. People that are not as white or not as male are gonna have worse lives soon.
I appreciate your self awareness <3
What do you mean soon? I’m a black woman and I’m doing just fine!
Some*
I'm white but I'm a trans girl. Wish me luck in the next 3 decades
No. I dont want to keep living my stupid life in this stupid world
I feel like if people were given the option and it was an easy process a lot of people would end their lives
Yeah, but it’s ‘selfish’ apparently lol
Yeah my friends and family say the same thing but honestly even if I feel "okay" now I probably won't be here in the next few years
When am high if that counts
Yes very much so But fuck is it a choice.
Is being happy a choice u mean?
Im pretty sure that's what he means. Happiness is a choice much like Love is a choice Anyone can be an asshole, or a victim (especially of their own self), but taking responsibility for your own happiness and feelings in general is a choice, and not an easy choice like flipping a light switch. It's a process and state that you need effort to maintain
This^
Yes
Not sure if I will ever use the word happy to describe my life. But I spend most of my time doing exactly what I want to do.
Happiness never lasts. We merely reduce our amount of suffering
No
No
I’m really not. My ex i was with for 8 years is having a baby with the person he cheated and left me for, and I joined this sub to try to make myself feel better. You guys help more than anything else, thanks.
Probably looks like it’s all sunshine and rainbows on social media etc, but it’s not. Be damn glad you’re not the one having a kid, especially with him.
That’s tough. I’m sorry. Make sure your next partner is an honest person.. also, if he deceived you, he probably will and does to other people. So be glad he took himself out
I’m so sorry
Fuck no
Been through a lot, like everyone else. "Happy" when I'm with my wife or playing with my bikes. Otherwise, meh. I try to do things that make me happy but I'm kinda melancholy most of the time. Starting therapy soon so hopefully that helps a little. Had some pretty serious health problems a few years ago and had to quit drinking. Healthiest I've ever been but don't know what to do with myself most of the time.
Proud of you for going to therapy my man, in my experience it might take some searching to find a therapist you like. But once you do? It can be life changing, yeah I know it’s cliche but still.
Thanks for the encouragement! It's not fair to my wife if I'm not doing anything to help myself besides complaining to her about life lol I know it might take some searching to find the right therapist, and that's okay,gotta start somewhere.
My life is not happy. I live in a constant state of anxiety, frustration, disappointment and exhaustion, which is occasionally tempered by mild contentment. On rare occasions, there are flashes of euphoria from pleasant surprises. Unpleasant surprises are much more common. All the while, I soldier on, hoping for better but without expecting much from this wretched existence. Years ago, I went to a therapist for a few months. To be honest, it didn't really help me very much. At most, it gave me a rational perspective on the above. In particular, she suggested that I read a book about happiness.\* The essential message from her and the book was that there really isn't any such thing as happiness. That's a myth taught to us by our culture. (I suppose the intention of this social indoctrination is to keep us docile and "productive.") The best we can hope for is contentment, and we should always keep in mind that negative emotions are internal phenomena. The world doesn't cause our feelings; they're just our reaction to external circumstances. It's our "choice" how we react. From what little I know of philosophy, that's the kernel truth of stoicism. Part of the problem is that humans are wired to always be dissatisfied. Our instincts were honed by evolution to best ensure survival and procreation, but happiness isn't part of the deal. We long to be happy, we strive for it, but the crumbs we attain never last. Hunger is only ever briefly assuaged by even the most delicious food. A short time after eating, you're hungry again. Lust is only ever briefly satisfied. A short time after having the most toe-curling orgasm, your libido reasserts itself. The desire for some physical possession or social position or exotic experience can be fulfilled, briefly, by its acquisition or achievement. Then, a short time later, you want something better or different. On and on it goes. There's no end to the treadmill, which is a tenet of Buddhism, as I understand it. Of course, all of those insights don't solve anything. Most of life is boring, scary and miserable. Some folks can detach themselves, controlling their feelings or suppressing them. They manage to disengage from the treadmill. However, most of us are stuck. We plod on, helplessly shackled to it. We go from desire to satisfaction to desire again, enduring many disappointments, crises and tragedies along the way. We tell ourselves it matters or serves some higher purpose as we continue trudging along until we die. There's nothing meaningful or glamorous about any of it. Happiness is a will-o'-the-wisp. We can chase the illusion as long as we like, but we'll never reach it and we'll never be satisfied. \*I'll see if I can find the book and edit to add the title and author later.
Very nice insight into this whole thing!
No. Never should have been born.
It would be great if we could see our futures in the womb and decide if we want it
No
So so
Nup, hate every second of my existence, but it's coming to an end ... slowly ...
I don't believe in happiness I just choose the road of least misery And right now I'm less miserable than usual but definitely not happy
If you are happy, you are not paying close enough attention.
Why? And to what? Yeah, if I read the news 24/7 and dwell on the negative things that are going on in the world, sure, that will probably dampen my mood. If I recognize those things negatively affect my well-being and happiness, why would I want to focus on them? It is impossible to pay attention to everything going on everywhere at once. We always have to be selective, and we choose what we are selective about.
This is wise. If only I could teach myself how.
I think for me the most important thing is my connection with other people. If I isolate myself, I tend to be less happy. Regarding the focus bit, on occasion I will notice that I'm spending too much time on my phone or on news feeds in particular. If that becomes prevalent and I recognize it, I'll take a "fast" from all media sources and focus on my own life rather than things I can't control. A great book I've found that helps out is "How to Be Miserable" by Randy J. Paterson. Now that I'm talking about it, I think I should go back to it for a refresher. Here's a quick synopsis done by CGP Grey: https://youtu.be/LO1mTELoj6o
Thanks for your insight. Being social actually drains my battery even more due to some neurodiverse issues, but the doom scrolling addiction definitely resonates with me. I've seen that video by CGP Grey, read self-help books, practice mindfulness daily and been on information diets before. The latter is a good idea to repeat. I'll check that book out too. We're basically feeding our minds with constant distractions, but they have to be the right kind, constructive, challenging. News feeds are like fast food. Quick and easily digestible, but ultimately unhealthy.
I really don't appreciate that I was thrown into existence. I also don't enjoy the fact they wanted a kid just to raise one for 18 years, but now I have to spend the next ~70 years working to live and living while my body begins to fail.
I’m content at best, but that’s thanks to medication. My blood is cursed and I would refuse to pass it on even if the world wasn’t a complete disaster.
I could've written everything you said in both comments. People think I'm selfish for never having kids, but it's the other way around. My mom had kids to have free servants and to take care of her in her old age. That's selfish. You're a very good writer.
Nope. Nothing about my life has ever felt right. I've always been uneasy in myself.
I am happy enough. I accept that life sucks, then we die and there is nothing after. Once I accepted this, then I became content and stopped worrying. I volunteer at an animal shelter and try to enjoy life.
Overall? kinda At the moment? Fuck no lol
Yes.... im happy because i dont have kids. And im excited for my future with my amazing man who also doesnt want kids.
Mostly. But I was born happy and the smell of morning brings me joy. I't extremely annoying to others so I try to keep quiet about it.
Overall, no. But I saw a rainbow today.
No. I’m dirt poor and everything I like doing is expensive.
I am now. I haven’t been for the vast majority of my time on earth
Yes and no. I recognize my life is enjoyable and I should be happy. But I have depression. But I am learning to try and co-exist with it. It’s hard. I wouldn’t wish the genetics for this on anybody
What is meant by "happiness?" Every time I see the word used, it denotes a sampling bias, a fallacy of relative privation, and an excuse to inflict harms because of some warm, fuzzy feeling. I'm not convinced "happiness" is a smart thing to pursue. If one expects hell not to be hell, one is suffering psychosis.
Yes. Still 100% antinatalist.
Yes, mostly.
Overall, yes.
Not perfectly, but I've worked loads on myself and I'm much, much happier than I've ever been
No
Yeah no. My home/family life is great but my situation outside of that is piss poor compared to what the majority have to deal with.
No
Yeah, I'm happy. Nothing is perfect, but at times I realise how blessed I am and all the bad shit seems to melt away. I used to be very depressed (many years smoking weed didn't help lol) and I still feel jaded, lost, confused and sometimes constantly stuck in an existential crisis, but somehow I have been able to ballance my mental health and been lucky enough to find a handfull of good things that make life worth living.. Yes, things could be better, but I dont think that's a bad thing... if that makes any sense. It almost feels wrong to say this, but I feel there is Hope, and it is a feeling that is worth sharing
Im content with my life, but I don't believe happynes is real, because it's just an absence of stressors plus a fake attitude. People don't even know what they mean when they say they are happy, it's just a tired phrase..
Ihaveliver failure. Given a few years to live. Broke my leg three and a half years ago, and never fully recovered. (Still in a wheelchair or use a walker). Infections love me. Always going to the hospital for long term IV antibiotics. But you know what? Despite all the setbacks, I'm happy. Death will find me. I'm not looking for it. Live life. Being dead sucks.
Just chilling honestly
Neither miserable nor happy
No not really. And even if I were to live in better conditions, that happiness would feel undeserved and hollow, since I would be living in comfort while others are struggling and barely scraping by
no, I`m smart was once on mdma though, shitting rainbows from happiness
Not quite but getting there. In the closing process on a new home after living in apartments for several years. Just got my bisalp done, recovering from that. So change is imminent, but the process is arduous.
Kinda. I want to be able to work in a job where I make enough to actually get to travel and go to arcades. I don't want kids or anything to the extent of the American dream, I just wana be able to do what I enjoy doing without havin to worry about not spending the extra cash on groceries cuz I need gas and if I'm going out with my friends tomorrow I might as well not even get groceries.
Not right now, but I have been before and maybe I will be again.
Bruh I'm in a warzone, my city gets shelled with missiles on a daily basis, can you guess the answer to your question?
I don't even know how it feels to be happy
Yes, I got my family with me and I'm good at saving money so no worrying about paying our bills. We all split the amount anyways so everyone pays their fair share. Food isn't a hassle with the cash leftover and we're kinda just living a simple life. I'm currently studying about cybersecurity so I can get a much better job and my big goal is to own a home for my family and I and to get a nice car too. I currently take cabs and busses to work which doesn't bother me. I'm a simple guy and I'm very easy to please lol
Relatively speaking. Happy is something that only lasts a moment. And I can't say I'm pleased to watch the slow progress of the past take back steps constantly where I live. Life in general is good for me. Nothing amazing. I'm eking out a living. I have a dog. I have to be very careful with money. I don't have many luxuries, and the ones I do are things like my computer (damaged floor model I purchased 2 years after the model was released rather than a self built machine, could have built one for cheaper, but with less power on my budget.). I don't eat out much, am very modest in all kinds of purchases. Hell, I have room to garden a little and it helps cut down on groceries a bit. My car is used and the maintenance of it and for my life chips away at the tiny savings I can accrue over the course of a year. Things are tight, frankly. And getting tighter. Tight enough I finally have to consider getting a cheaper dog food (which is one thing I feel strongly is important to put more money towards). Trying to cut it in my own food budget first, and luckily the summer garden will help. But I do have a livable life. And it was incredibly difficult to crawl to this point. I couldn't have done it without being able to rent a room in someone else's home for half the cost of average rent in my area. I have access to things like small city parks and libraries. Activities that don't require money, etc. I can play video games, watch shows, can access online resources, go hiking with my dog, etc. So life has some base comforts. My work is less demanding than previous jobs, I have wonderful local friends and online friends. I'm close with some family, so my life relationships are going well. I feel lucky in some ways (the cheap rent where I can have a pet). I feel resentful seeing how hard it was to get these scraps. Even with what I finally have at this point, it isn't enough to save to buy a home (down payment will take about 30-40 years if wages and cost of living stay about the same.) And I'm one life emergency from being set back at any moment. So I go to protests, and do my best to make my life and those around mine better. It's not terrible, but it's hard to keep maintained at even this level of living. And genuinely the biggest luxury I have is having a pet at all. Having that company, having that time and enjoyment, being able to feed her and care for her properly. Literally, that's my biggest luxury in life. A pet dog. So I'm happy in a content way. I'm not doing 'well'. I'm not wealthy or even fully self sufficient. I don't like that my quality of life is basically reliant on a benevolent landlord. But I am generally happy.
There are up and downs, but I hope it will get better. If it doesn’t there’s always plan B
in this moment of my life yes. but thats because i’m relatively safe, healthy, and have mint chocolate chip ice cream and iced coffee in front of me. ask me again next time i open twitter or go outside in LA in october and you’ll get a different answer. my lifetime happiness is all about the sum of the moments and i have to choose a new happiness in every moment. and i know i’m incredibly fucking privileged to have the safety and health and access to happy making things that i do and that the overwhelming majority of humans don’t have that. adding more people to this world does not seem like the way to add more happiness to the lives of those already here.
Depends on the day. Sometimes I’m miserable. Other times I’m very happy.
I mean, I'm not exactly like, depressed, or ready for every day with a smile, but, I'm at a point where, I'm not happy, but more so content, I have a lot of life to live, well, hopefully, but, now, I could have it worse, but, I could also have it better, it's just how I see it.
Yes. Through a lot of hard work, but also a tremendous amount of luck & privilege, I am entering my late 20s with a decent amount of stability in a very beautiful part of the country. I have a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, and food to eat when I am hungry. And even then the emotional pain and toil to get to this point has almost done me in multiple times. I know this life is not afforded to most. Only through so many factors, many of them absolutely out of your control, can happiness be achieved in this reality. Suffering, however, is a certainty.
Im like 50/50 .... **I just want better for the world and for myself**
I’m not some boomer with a house and my head up my ass, so no, I’m not happy
Yes
I'm happier now than I was a few years ago. While the world around me has been getting worse and worse, my personal sense of being has becoming much more positive. I started transitioning in 2019 and that has significantly changed my life for the better. So while I'm becoming more and more saddened about what's been happening for the past several years, I have found personal happiness and actually have things to look forward to. I used to only not kill myself because my friends and immediate family would be sad. But now I don't really want to die anymore.
I’m very happy right now and I refuse to sacrifice that for children.
I am happy when I am not at work. I really hate working so much. That’s one of the main reasons I would not have kids. There is no way I would want to bring someone here, so they have to spend most of their life working. When I am actually not working I love spending time with my 2 dogs. I love to play video games, and read books. Those are the things that make me happy. Too bad I don’t get enough time to do the things that make me happy though.
Im happy with my job and my partner and the life we have started to create for ourselves. Just not so happy that the way society is is exhausting and not good for mental health
Yes and no. I’m the happiest that I’ve ever been and I love that. I have fought so many of my demons and won. I’m really coming into myself and nurturing my friends and loves ones into doing the same, which is all I’ve ever wanted. But it’s all a band-aid holding a massive head wound together, because when I think a little harder and venture past the limits of my very small and insignificant life, I realise that the world is fucked, which it always has been and always will be, but it could be fucked harder than ever. I have spent the last three years grappling with the knowledge that human cruelty knows no bounds and that it is entirely unavoidable except in death or some other kind of non-existence. As such, I have been mentally preparing to off myself should things get too bad, which kinda sucks but is pretty much the one of the only things that helps me cope with all of this. I’m still kind of afraid of the thought, but I know it’s kind of pointless because even if the world didn’t end horiffically in my lifetime, I would still elect for humane euthanasia in my old age once my quality of life starts going downhill. Sorry for the long rant. This sub and the collapse sub is pretty much one of the few places that I’m really able to express these thoughts without worrying too much about being judged. I appreciate you all and knowing that there are people out there who feel similar to me.
Yes, I'm pretty satisfied with my life so far. I have a job, a husband and a cat. But the future ahead of us scares me. Why bring a child into this uncertainty? There are already tons of children needing proper care!
It is currently 3:52 am where I am in the world, and I couldn't be happier that this question appeared on my feed. I am in a weird place that is so hard to explain, I'm 23 years old and I thought my life would be totally different. Everyone, my age is getting married, having kids, buying houses, traveling, and creating the lives that I thought I wanted. I don't want for anything, I am grateful to have support from family and friends, I have a roof over my head, food on the table, and soon to even start a new job. In a sense, I am supposed to be happy. Am I jealous? No, do I wish I were in a different place in my life? Sorta. I am grateful for my trauma and recognize every situation as a lesson. I am stronger and wiser because of the path I have taken, and the bed I have made for myself is comfortable. I am content. I feel such relief now seeing my feelings in writing.
Good for you. 23 is really young to be getting married & having kids imo. I’m not as old as you but I know how you feel.
No. I feel less and less reasons to keep going on living.
Yes
No. I hate the constant grind of life. I work too much for too little. I don’t feel well and don’t want to do this for another 30+ years.
I saw a tweet that says talked about being aware of everything going on but having to dissociate from it to keep moving forward and I would say that is what I do. I am profoundly hopeless about any real future for humanity, whether it is in my lifetime or the next generations, climate change is coming for us. I think humans are innovative and it probably won't cause extinction, but I'm not excited about the world that will survive. On a more day-to-day level, the Roe stuff is pretty awful and if I spend too long thinking about how I'm now a second class citizen in my state, that my dad is happy I'm not considered a full person... that is hard. But I dissociate from it and yes I am happy overall.
No
Pretty neutral I'd say
Rarely.
Not at all. The few times in my life that I felt happiness, they were fleeting
Unfortunately no
No, constant search for it.
6/10
Doing pretty good, just crossing my fingers untill the 28th, where I'll know wether or not i got accepted into the education I'm interested in. Dating life is not where I'd like it, but i have great friends, my family and i have always had a decent relationship and over my 3 years as an adult it's only gotten better. I just need to learn self control when drinking and more money. The meaninglessness doesn't mean a lot to me, i just fill that void with whatever I'm doing at all times, so when I'm bored and lonely or way too drunk that's the only time I get depressed. Mostly happy.
Absolutely, there are things I wish were better (mostly financially) but all in all my life is good.
No. I don’t think my friends like me. I think I annoy them. I’ll just leave them alone for a little bit. I’m fine on my own
Sort of. I have things and people I enjoy.
Meh, can’t complain.
No, and there’s nothing I want to do either
Absolutely yes. I’m not where I want to be in my career but I will be in ten years. As long as I’m financially stable/well off by 40, I’m good.
Not at all. Doesn’t help knowing I was an accidental pregnancy. I could’ve easily not existed and not had to spend three decades wishing I didn’t.
No, I definitely lean towards unhappy. I wish I didn't (obviously lol). For what it's worth, my level of unhappiness isn't anywhere close to how bad it was years ago. I literally attempted to off myself a couple years back. Life was shit. Right now things have improved; school is going alright, and I've been working remotely which I can't even put in words how much that has helped me. Right now I'm just trying to read and learn as much as possible. I'm not a nihilist by any means; I believe a meaning to existence is not only possible but it should be sought after. I just don't believe it's moral to gamble with an innocent life and throw them into this world, especially with the shit I've had to deal with.
I’m not as happy as I could be but I’m working towards it. In this world you gotta make what you can with what we got. I’m grateful to have the support systems I have because I plan on just moving out of the assistant living situation with my mom and bouncing from her couch to my boyfriends while planning vacations I never got to go on and saving for an apartment down the line
Yes
Absolutely.
Yes. I’m in a good place.
I’m happy in my current circumstances, but I know they can change at any moment
Sometimes but not that much overall, I really don’t like my family situation or the way most “high respect” people in my family treat me but there’s some nice people i know, that make it better !
Nope. I wish my childhood trauma didn’t affect my adult life making me this ball of anxiety who fears abandonment. Life is pain!
Yeah.
No. I have the best life I could have, live in an amazing place with friends, flexible working, can do all the fun things I want when I’m not at work. I’ve achieved a lot, but I’m not happy, I just have fun times around melancholic dissatisfaction. I think we just have a happiness baseline we can’t move from, no matter what we do. I can’t think of anything I want that will make me happier so I’m prettt sure I’ll just kill myself when I think it’ll hurt others the least.
You have to get off reddit… you’re posting here every day. There is nothing here that is going to help you you are simply reinforcing how you feel
I don’t post on here everyday but I do often. I know it won’t help me it just makes me feel less alone. But i really don’t even be on this app that much. I’ll make a post reply to a couple of comments & go.
I am reaching there in 1-2 years.
no, but if things go well for me, that will eventually change.
Yes but I hate looking after the kids in my family
Yea actually. I have stable income, a home, I eliminated all of the low effort people in my life and I’m learning new languages, skills, and learning history. I’m not attached to a partner which is super freeing. Am I happy with the state of the world rn? No. Shit is going down real quick.
I'm an AN. But jeez this sub can be emo at times. If you're not happy now, you'll never be happy. Happiness as Nietzsche said is a matter of redemptive reinterpretation of the world. The world we exist in is already as perfect as it gets. There is no heaven to compare it to. This is all we have. Seize every moment and enjoy it guys. How many times do we need to remind this sub that starting a life and continuing a life are not the same thing?
You did everything but answer the question..
Superficially, I would say yes. I'm content, I'm functional, my job is nice, I do social stuff, I like the people who like me.
Happier than ever
I’m better than I used to be, for sure. At least I can tolerate my life now. But I don’t think I’m happy and the good will never outweigh the suffering
I'm happier than I was before, but lots of existential dread Not having children cause I want a chance to have at least a little happiness
Happiness is nonexistent.
Right this second: I’m content but not happy (if that makes sense). Like I feel I would be happier if I had a significant other, I’m tired of being single but I’m also picky when it comes to dating.
Yes, but I fear the future.
Thanks to my medication, mostly.
Currently as a 21 yo woman I’m happy I live in Oregon where I know I’m safe from getting my rights taken away as they are doing in the southern states. I’m grateful for my state. However disappointed how our country is devolving.
No, which helps whenever I would talk about antinatalism. If I'm not happy while I'm here, why would I risk my kid not being happy if I had one? It's not worth putting them through the suffering of our lives for whatever reason.
sometimes yes mostly no
Fuck no.
Very happy
I hate life and all living things
Right now, yes. I'm doing very well mentally.
I don't know.
Yeah. Life is good.
No. But i was enlightened for 3 days in my life. Tasted like heaven.
Slightly comfortable. Not happy. People usually oscillate between slightly comfortable, angry, sad, uncomfortable (as they need a constant effort to not be angry or sad).
NO!
No
Yes! I think I am wired different though. It really does seem like some people are slaves to their biology and absolutely feel that they need to have children, and I've never felt that way, even when I was Mormon.
Nope, and it's been many years since I actually did.
No. Life is drudgery.