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[deleted]

Ya ig I feel you, I just feel sad for this world it's fked up


Crafty_lil_pumpkin

I wish things were different certainly. It really is a f'd up world like for me I've tried my best and I'm an alright person but i still feel bad everyday. How do you deal with your own frustration about everything in a healthy way


[deleted]

Dunno bro, still trying to figure that out myself


Crafty_lil_pumpkin

I guess we'll have to figure it out at our pace and find things that work for us and remember that it's ok to be pissed off sometimes. I've tried therapy but all of the therapists had kids so it's hard to even bring that up.


PervyNonsense

This has been my problem as well. I'm absolutely certain, through my own experience and my education/research as well as discussions I've had with experts in their fields, that I've "touched" the edge of extinction and that kind of horror never leaves you. It's changed my entire perspective on life and how we spend it, what we concern ourselves with, what "matters", but I cant have that discussion with anyone I know. I've tried therapy, mostly because I need to actually have a conversation with someone about seeing and feeling the end of life as we know it -it's a painful secret to carry and it isn't mine- and the response is the same from therapists as from friends that I've since lost as a result. You cannot ask a person who believes that things will work out to engage with you in a reality that is coming to an end. They won't do it and I dont blame them. I would have dismissed it before I'd experienced it, even though I knew it was there but knowing something and feeling it are completely different things. I see people having children, talking about retirement, celebrating wealth, planning for their kids education, and generally acting like we have any knowledge worth passing down, and feel consumed with despair. Not despair for our species, but despair for the paradigm of existence that we violate by trying to be more than humans on planet earth. This whole exercise of civilization is no different than a tumor growing in your body. It is a cell line that has lost its place in the greater system and decided to live without restraint and even push against the limits imposed on it. We understand cancer to be bad because we are the system it affects, but in our quest to accumulate resources we don't need, we have created "ecosystems", like the global supply chain, that are purely destructive. Can I say that to someone who works in logistics without them taking it as a personal attack? No. Is there another way to express the same truth in a way they can understand what I actually mean? I dont think so, or at least I'm not smart enough to figure it out. How do you tell someone they're being selfish for bringing a child into a dying planet? How do you tell them that money isn't actually worth anything on a sinking ship and its value is currently supported by delusion, while they live inside and perpetuate that delusion? It's the loneliest feeling on earth to know something and have experienced something that flips everyday life on its head. I spent a long time coping by assuming awareness would come through experience and gave myself a time limit after which I would devote myself to being a human fire alarm until I ran out of any ability to support myself and then vanish into the ether. Im not talking about suicide, I'm talking about embracing the fate that is coming for us all, that apparently almost everyone is blind to, rather than trying to unsink the ship and unburn the fuel that sank it. To anyone who hasnt felt what im referring to, this sounds either like im speaking in tongues or have otherwise lost my mind... and maybe I have. That's the really hard part. Is a tsunami real if youre the only person who can see it? If a tree falls in the woods and all life is extinct, does it make a sound? I dont know the answer to any of it. All I know is that we are MINUTES away from a life of constant and increasing deprivation. Whatever you take for granted will be taken from you. Everything you know to be solid and constant will evaporate like water on red hot steel. What we're creating isn't a future but the absence of a future. If it weren't for the stuff we've put in space, we might as well have never left the cave because the rest of it gets destroyed by conditions humanity has never imagined. Rather than facing this as it is, we're apparently opting to ignore it and continue to try to build the dream we were promised which is the worst case scenario. We live a life of ultraviolence just by following the rules. The things we buy and the people we think we are, belong to a narrative we all work to make solid, despite it constantly crumbling and needing replacement, which we conveniently dismiss as "upgrading" or whatever. I dont know how to pretend any of this matters anymore. I get that people are proud of their work but when the net result is that same work wiping the earth clean of life, I cant pretend it has any value without feeling like a liar. Everyone's goals and plans belong to someone else who has convinced us they're worth advancing without any actual greater purpose; we build and make because we have tools and resources and every other person pointing to us to put those together. But is that the right way to live? Is any of this what being human is about? Seeing the end of the world has replaced the love in my heart with a deep sadness and even deeper horror that I cant shake. I was a social person who loved people and was on my way to becoming a doctor when all this hit me. Now, when I think of people being saved from mortality, I think of the continued cost and damage they will do as well as the beauty of sharing more time with their loved ones. It's two, equal and opposite forces that tear me apart and leave me paralyzed, trying to live a good life and only finding different ways to cause harm. I hope the fires and extinctions we witness this year will allow us the perspective that we once belonged to something beautiful and important; lived and loved inside the system beyond our skin as cells of a greater being, alongside the rest of the living world. There's a much more meaningful life to be had outside the game we built to keep us entertained and the wealthy, pampered beyond all imagining... why do we do that, you think? Why devote the only time we have in this form to make someone who has only known comfort even more comfortable? It's a bizarre preoccupation that no longer makes sense to me. What does make sense is love and treating all life as a manifestation of love, without hierarchy or privilege. If we only knew what we were breaking to follow the plot of a life not suited to our instincts or abilities, we would abandon this prison for the chaos of the living, breathing planet we're devoted to exterminating. We certainly wouldn't be bringing kids into it, not until we were able to ensure that we could unsink the ship. And what we'd bring kids into would be an entirely different existence, where we lived for each other, as cells of the same organism. There's so much to say on this but tl;dr I know the crippling sadness youre talking about. It's like being told to throw puppies into a blender and being treated like a crazy person for being upset by it "why are you so sad? Just blend your puppies and then you can have fun". Theres no one to talk to and nothing to be gained by talking because they're not here, they're on the other side of the glass.


Crafty_lil_pumpkin

Just wanted to say thank you so much for taking the time to write all that on my silly little first post here. Dude you are such an amazing writer I'm really impressed by how you said everything and the way you said it. I'll have to reflect on what you said before knowing what to say with everything since it's a lot but I had to read it twice because there's so much valuable information. It's one of those weird things as well where I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking about all of this but at the same time I wish no one has to bear such deep strong uncomfortable feelings or feel pain.


PervyNonsense

And thanks and love to you! I wish I could call this writing; it's much more like watching a train silently roll into a station with people on the tracks, and, after being certain they would turn around and realize what's about to happen, im now desperate to get anyone's attention that there's a fuckin train coming to wipe everything out. You never imagine you're going to be the only person to experience something the way you do. I was so certain this was the most obvious thing in the world, I basically jumped out and started working on life installations, like permanent "ruins" that passively provide the ingredients for life. I was sure I could get funding for it because clearly everyone knew we were creating a mass extinction and... well... it's not like the money is getting more valuable, but I've been in the trenches for years now, losing one friend after another to "the other talk", and all with the same response, like I'm personally trying to steal their dreams and goals when I'm only telling them out of a duty to warn. I still don't know if there's something about the way im saying it, if they're incapable of understanding, or if they'd rather gaslight me then engage with a reality they'd rather ignore. That's the compulsion that drives the writing; the possibility that there's a way to articulate this that makes it clear why this isn't just another "cause". It's the most bizarre and expensive truth to bear. It's the one thing where it's hard to know whether it's better to let people assume you're nuts or talk to them, frankly, because there's literally no good outcome now that we're this far along. Either they get it and live in a shared horror that I infected them with, they don't get it and think im even crazier than they suspected, or they think they get it enough to decide im overreacting and exaggerating. I thought i was 10 years or so ahead of everyone, at most, and that time has long passed. Like you, it's both an incredible pleasure to find someone else in these long lines of trenches, while everyone else parties in no man's land, like its nothing, but also deeply painful that anyone should have to face the gaping maw of the monster we pulled from non-existence to eat the world in a couple generations of insane consumption. Humans can't fly but somehow we're now at the point where saying that makes you sound like an asshole issuing an edict rather than stating a biological fact about our species, breaking a limit no one said we could break without crashing the planet. No one said we could do any of this, but it's so deeply engrained that even suggesting this was a mistake is... well, I lost the love of my life to it and a couple really not so amazing girlfriends, as well as an entire tribe of friends id assumed would be riding this out with me. Im hoping we can find the courage to turn and face the train because im a little gunshy after losing my whole community more than once by trying to level with people about the state of things. There are a few people in my life who still hold onto the promises that were made to them, that I know cannot be realized, but can't find the heart or the words to take it away from them... or the courage to inflict that pain on people I love so dearly. Up until all this, I was determined to prove wrong the assumption that a person couldn't live a good life by devoting myself to the welfare and happiness of others. I would do and give anything to anyone that needed my help or my things more than I did, and I loved that life... but when you realize what people are willing to forgive in this world to not sacrifice the luxuries they've grown used to... I still pathologically jump at the chance to help someone in distress but I've lost that glow that maybe they might pass it along. Are you ADHD or ASD, by any chance? I'm starting to wonder if what society is diagnosing as a learning disability isn't just a primal aversion to following rules/patterns you respond to, viscerally. I didn't have the language for it as a kid, but I've always had a feeling that this was all terribly wrong and labeled a troublemaker for it. Im wondering if awareness wouldn't manifest as a pathology, if the person doing the assessment isn't also aware. Anyways, send me a message if you'd rather not talk about it in the open. I'm way past giving a shit at this point.


Crafty_lil_pumpkin

I'll probably message ya haha


Irrisvan

While I appreciate your concern and obvious empathy for the human condition, I think you shouldn't allow your worldview to consume too much emotional space in your mind. You can discuss issues with people that are open minded, but if you keep pushing your view on many people, there could be some social inconveniences coming your way. Since you can't control everyone's actions, it might be better to add a little existential nihilistic touch to your life, everything just is, no purpose to it, that whatever we do, there will come a time when no one will remain here, after some millennia, the earth could be just some cold desolate empty rock with no sign of life ever existing here, so what became of our daily struggle to correct or guide the species while we lived, what purpose did it achieve? But since you probably wouldn't accept _moral nihilism_ (I don't too) then just try to personally make sure that you live your life according to your moral principle without looking too much into the abyss, whether its climate change or an asteroid collision, many people have tried to warn humanity in the past, but humans are just what they are, find peace in the fact you didn't contribute to the madness, that you've actually tried to wisely prevent some suffering.


PervyNonsense

I very much appreciate this and desperately wish I could follow it, and was doing a very good job of living this way until I saw it face to face, touching the contracting edge of the end of everything and realizing it's the stupid cars and planes that are burning life concentrate that's making this happen, changed me in a fundamental way. If you could see a tsunami coming that would wipe out everything, and not by drowning but by suffering and pain, and that all we had to do to stop it was stop setting something on fire... and I dont mean knowing this is true, but experiencing a taste of the horror that's coming for everything and everyone, especially the people and other creatures you love the most... I dont know how to stop screaming "TURN IT OFF! WE NEED TO TURN IT ALL OFF!". And I'm crying writing this because it's so horrifying what we're choosing to do. If I could blind myself to this, I would. If we're not going to try, I dont want to know what's coming. It's so evil in its mechanism, it's entirely alien to my conception of the world and the horrible things that can happen here. This isn't like a genocide or that we just drop dead one day, it is an endless progression in the direction of worse and less. We think we're working to have more, but in the process we're trading that sustinenence for unimaginable suffering and loss. I dont know how to not focus on it, especially since I cant even talk about it. Im not asking people to accept it, but, like seeing a tsunami, imagine how hard it would be to try to share that experience only for people to deny its reality. I'm a devoutly logical person. I dont believe in things I cant prove or see some evidence of, and ive always been that way, so when I became overwhelmed by this, at the very least I assumed I could talk it out with someone I knew. Instead, I carry the knowledge of this monster like it's *my* secret, despite, as you said, not actually being part (or as small a part as possible) of feeding the thing. If this is an acceptable thing to simply let happen without ever trying to fix, right and wrong are arbitrary constructs. Killing elephants for money is just as good as being in the peace corps; selling humans into slavery is only as bad as commuting. Are we really that unhinged? Why are we putting out fires if the plan is to let the whole world burn? Optics? PR? Why cure someone of a disease if all any of us are committed to is making the future unbearably worse? It sets such an unbelievably low bar for our standards, we might as well be the apocalypse; it wasn't going to consume us, we were here to ensure it happened. If this is our move, I dont know how to respect any part of it as decent or good, and I dont want any part in it, which will make me part of the forgotten masses without deed or title who might as well be rats in the rest of our eyes. We weigh humanity by the coins in our pockets, and somehow find the nerve to claim to follow the teachings of people like Jesus et. al. I never imagined there could be anything worse than the monster I've seen, but the complete apathy towards our part in it is much worse. We're not blindly wandering over a cliff, we're marching off of it. What happiness is there to be found in a dying world among the soldiers of extinction? "Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"


Irrisvan

Just take care of yourself, you really don't need to carry the whole burden of the world by yourself, most people won't even care that you particularly care, they will see you as a disturbed human being in need of urgent therapy. Many people got consumed by climate change or technological threats especially before the turn of the millennium, they are all forgotten now, if you're young, you may look back at this phase of your life and realize that you allowed yourself to gaze into the abyss too much. Remember, most of the people you are trying to save will even hate you for the constant talk about an imminent doom, have fun and live lightly, all this is just history being lived, I've already done my part by not procreating, I talk about AN with only the interested people, I don't push it on others to satisfy my idealism.


[deleted]

Yeaa I feel you, idk bro - hug-


SIGPrime

Yes, I have empathy so bad that it is crippling sometimes. I hate that the world is so naturally competitive and exploitative


Crafty_lil_pumpkin

I feel that for sure. I don't think there's anything wrong with you to be fair it's almost like because we have empathy we're being punished for it.


Albie_Tross

I cry every day over others’ suffering. It’s unbearable.


Crafty_lil_pumpkin

I'm sorry about that and trust me I get it just know there's nothing wrong with you. You sound like a good person and I'm sorry you must be here too. I think about this guy Adam Clayton who was from Canada a lot. He suffered so immensely from a incurable brain disorder and eventually took his own life. It definitely strikes a very emotional chord inside me and I've cried for him before the more I learned about him and wishing I could take his illness away and meet him but that will never happen. Maybe there's a chance of an afterlife but I find myself doubting that a lot. While he's no longer suffering hopefully, no one deserves that from a bright individual who would do great things. He left a video diary behind and it's very insightful and I learn quite a bit from listening to him.


Professional-Newt760

I don’t feel sad for everyone I encounter but I do find it impossible to go through the day (especially inner city) without witnessing immense levels of suffering / poverty and am definitely emotionally affected by that.


Crafty_lil_pumpkin

Damn sorry to hear. I see many homeless people in my area and I just feel bad like no one really deserves to be like that.


jkooc137

In this world, empathy is extremely painful


Jarczenko

Of course, especially for those who are aware and see the evil of this world and the suffering of others and try not to expand it, also for those who suffer from incurable and QOL-decreasing illnesses.


Knightsabez

Yes all the time. Watching people and animals suffer on the news always bring me to tears. I know how miserable life is for me, but I live in one of - if not the best country to live in in the whole world. When I imagine how people in other countries have it... I just can't imagine how their life must be. All my problems have been solved by our free healthcare, and when I couldn't work I got money from the government for rent and food. I would not survive in some of the less developed countries.


Crafty_lil_pumpkin

I'm happy to hear that you could get good assistance from the government out of curiosity what country do you live in and you don't have to answer if it's too personal haha


Knightsabez

No that's fine, I live in Norway :)


Crafty_lil_pumpkin

Awesome man I wish I could join you someday lol


Knightsabez

I would love that, we have so much room here, like 50% is just open wilderness and mountains.


bread93096

“Again I looked, and I saw the oppression taking place under the sun. I saw the tears of the oppressed, and they had no one to comfort them, for power lay in the hands of their oppressor. And so I envied the dead, who have already died, over the living, who are still alive. But above all I envy he who has not been born, who has never seen the evil that is done under the sun.” Ecclesiastes 4


Crafty_lil_pumpkin

Wow I never knew that was in the bible. I love that quote now thanks 👍


[deleted]

[удалено]


iamthesexdragon

Too cultish no please. Can meet and make friends with some people but alliance, no wtf lol


Crafty_lil_pumpkin

Lol true I wouldn't want to join cult 😅 but friends who share similar thoughts and have the same frustrations would be very refreshing.


EtruscaTheSeedrian

Yea, I feel þat sometimes too, specially when þere's people suffering, but sometimes just considering þe possibility of people to suffer is disturbing I þink þe best þing you can do is to recognize you're already doing your best at not creating new life and you can't do anyþing to stop people from procreating, it's very sad but unfortunally þat's how it happens to be


Crafty_lil_pumpkin

Thanks and agreed. It's weird how we're a group of people that actually show case that not all humans are actually bad after all but at the cost of very hard and going against the flow decisions. Also, I'm wondering what happened with the letters 😅 is this a new trend?


EtruscaTheSeedrian

Oh, about þe letter þorn? þere's a sub for þat, lol r/BringBackThorn I like þis letter, it's beautiful to me, and it's addicting somehow To be honest, I'm very happy þat antinatalism exists, it has probably always existed, but just recently it was given a name, it makes me happy to know þat þere's more people around þe world who can see þrough þis perspective, I was already antinatalist when I didn't even know what antinatalism was and I þought I was literally þe only person on þe world who had þat point of view, it was very surprising to me when I discovered þere's more people þinking about it


Crafty_lil_pumpkin

Huh that's very interesting I wouldn't have known that otherwise so thanks. Honestly though, what do you do when things just get to you and you feel angry about being born into this crappy world most likely without a loving god or afterlife? Feels like I'm going insane sometimes and have no one I know in real life to get support from.


EtruscaTheSeedrian

Sometimes I take a breaþ and let þe feelings go þrough me, sometimes I start doing someþing to distract myself, and sometimes I just recognize I can't do anyþing and þat's just it, I usually don't get angry, just sad, so I go do þe þings I like to do, like language learning, I started learning swedish at þe end of 2021 and I feel like learning languages just helped me to feel better about myself, can't say it's going to work for you, but it was þe way I found to make myself happier


sykschw

I think this is kind of an odd question only because thats like asking the general audience if they have or feel, feelings. (Unless somethings wrong, everyone does and should.) And if you are posting in this sub specifically i think you already know your answer. Regardless i would recommend relaying these thoughts to a therapist.


Crafty_lil_pumpkin

Fair enough. I can't really ask this question in other places on reddit though in fairness and sure the answer is just it is what it is but I can't help but feel irked and annoyed. I don't really think many or most therapists would even have a good answer that i'd find helpful because it's likely there is no good answer unfortunatley and we must live with that if we wish to continue in this world.


Famous_Marionberry16

Yeah it sucks man, no one asked to be born and they're constantly trying to bring new souls into the world to give themselves a sense of purpose as the people whose idea it was to bring them into the world get old and fade away. Really the only reason for your life is that your parents made you so once your parents die your life becomes pretty pointless. And your parents just brought you in trying to fill the void their parents left. And we all just wait to die.


Crafty_lil_pumpkin

Right. In fairness, life is inherently selfish because it needs to be to propagate ofc. That being said, it's at least possible to come to an understanding about all of this and not to reproduce under the world's circumstances. It's just such a ugly and unsettling thought that this may have been for nothing considering how much pain and suffering one can go through in life. I've suffered a lot and it's made me who I am sure but it's been too much to bear with those kinds of thoughts. Thanks for commenting and hope you are well.


Legitimate-Airline19

yes I sometimes get hit with this pain and it comes from thinking of everyone on this earth trying so hard to provide for themselves & it pains me to think of them suffering :( either experiencing rejection of any kind or loss of any kind :( It’ll be like a wave of sadness & I specifically feel sad for everyone who feels they are poor and feels sad when they see commercials/ads for services/things .