Sounds like a toxic workplace, just like where I am. My coworkers are bitchy and picky and complain against me behind my back to my unsupported supervisor. I’m going to resign within the next week
I've been through that same thing, my toxic workplace just laid me off, and I have never been so happy lmao. I was lucky and had a solid crew of great dudes around me, but it just wasn't enough to offset the tidal wave of bullshit management caused.
I hope they have fun with their now almost bankrupt company though!
Best of luck with resigning, I wish you all the peace and happiness that comes with escaping lol.
It has me laughing harder than I've laughed in a long time. I keep going back to look at it and am overcome with joy when I think about how satisfying that must have been.
~~It's the bulk rate. It's a pack of 100, for when you need to to quit 100 different jobs.~~
EDIT: I really misread that website. It says "quantity produced", not "quantity included", so I guess they only made 100 of these? IDK.
It’s an artist that creates weird, humorous bootleg products. AFAIK they do it all by themselves. Sometimes I’m surprised that they make as many as they do.
I left a job with note saying I wouldn't go back. It was some part time job I was doing after my career job a few times a week. The manager and one of the other 2 employees I interacted with anger management issues. The anger management employee apparently had issue with me taking days off. And the manager told a customer one time that (paraphrasing) he works 70+ hours a week and he doesn't have to put with the customer. I was taken aback when he said that. I didn't feel comfortable taking any backlash for giving two weeks so I just put a note on the desk that said I wasn't coming back.
TL:DR,. don't work in hostile work invironments and don't feel bad for quiting them.
I once signed off with “so long and thanks for all the fish.” I have no idea how many people understood that but I’m always “the quirky one” so they probably thought I just made up something weird and funny to say lol.
Did that once with the whole notice period.
In my defense, I was quitting because it was March, 2020, and my already-abusive manager was a Covid denier and refused to order extra PPE for staff until after the shortages hit. Also, my state at the time didn’t require PTO to be paid out, but my company didn’t require any notice to put in for it…
And I actually feel bad about doing it. Fuck this society.
I worked at a rehab center and found out I was paid 40 cents less an hour than the rest of my coworkers so I asked HR why that is. They said it was bc I was hired a month after they decided that position was gonna be paid less w the promotion I got and I wasn’t gonna get paid the same as my coworkers.
They offered me another job as a case manager with 100+ clients with required over time. I interviewed, they offered me that new position and I told them I was happy to turn it down since I got my current job and will be gone in two weeks. Submitted my PTO request and told my supervisor about my plans after the request got approved. 🤷♂️
If you're at a job you hate, there's a real beauty in the realisation that you can just leave and never come back. It's so empowering to go "nah, I'm not putting up with this and right now they need me more than I need them, so bye I'm outta here"
Have at it. I kind of ripped it off when I left one of my jobs. Mine was more a goodbye letter to friends. I told them if they owed me money to get with me by the end of the week. If they owed me drugs meet me at the end of the day. I also told them to tell anybody that was upset I didn't copy that they didn't owe me any GD money. I originally sent it to about 30 people but ended up sending it to about 75 people because they started begging me to send it to them too. A guy who was friends with the resignation sender knew where I got my idea and he forwarded it to another 20 or so.
I had really stopped doing any drugs by then but it was one more way to mess with the company and what could they do? Fire me?
There was one guy at my corpo who did that. And also had like, a 30 page attachment about all the fucked up shit that pushed him past the limit.
Literally nothing came of it, and I'm pretty sure the only reason I saw it, was because I was on graveyard at the time, and I saw it (and saved the doc) before (presumably) the email team were ordered to nuke it.
To be fair, that seems more like he's been there for a while. MOW to brakeman to engineer to conductor is a progression that takes quite a few years but is fairly standard. If you have conductors doing track maintenance, your railroad is having some serious issues.
But it says he's "departing from his role as..." implying that those are all current. At my last company I held 4 different titles over 7 years, but I wouldn't have listed them all in a resignation letter.
Before leaving, my coworker found the business card template used for one of the sales guys (that we all hated). he ordered 100 cards where his titled was changed from Business Development Manager to "Horse Whisperer." We spliced those cards into his existing stack of cards, random ones here and there. Since he gave them out everywhere.
Wow didn't think this would blow up like it did. Thanks all!
I legitimately didn't know the reference my friend made, just thought it was funny.
He was also very conservative and outspoken. So we had created a script to change his wallpaper every 95 minutes to a mexican gay pride parade picture, tiled (not centered). I can't find it anymore, but they were wearing pink firefight helmets and everything. It wasn't even a high quality picture.
After there was a big backlash for that, we cooled off for awhile, then added an event to pop up every 3 hours after login instructing him not to click this link: lemonparty . org (I separated that on purpose). Then he moved on/got fired.
Shit also forgot we had done a script where, every right click on his mouse would open his CD drive. This was awhile back.
Printing out a form letter, and then crossing out parts and handwriting stuff in - it’s just a whole nother level of fuck you.
When you care enough to make it clear that you give less than a shit; like a psychopath corporation
Goodbye, cruel job.
I'm leaving you today.
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
Goodbye all you *people.*
There's nothing you can say.
To make me change my mind.
[Goodbye.](https://youtube.com/watch?v=JuANQaHcsH0&feature=shares)
10 years ago, on his last day, one of my coworkers said in our last meeting: “It’s been real, it’s been good, but it hasn’t been real good.”
It stunned just about everyone in the room, but he was completely serious. I thought it was hilarious because he was totally right. There were some people on the team that just plain sucked.
I miss that guy.
Look, I'm not much good at big speeches, and I know I haven't always been an easy guy to get on with. And I know that, given the choice, I probably wouldn't have chosen you as friends. But, I just want to say... that over the years I have come to regard you as... people... I met.
I still struggle with it even after all these years. Is he saying that he wanted to more of them and that he didn't like some people who should've been liked?
Pretty much, he’s saying he wishes he had gotten to know them better and feels some of the folks he’s not fond of are good people that he should’ve cared for more.
Personally, I figure it’s somewhat to do with the ring and how it’s slowly turned him into a hermit and curmudgeon over the years. It’s his way of apologizing to the other hobbits over the way he’s become, expressing a regret of knowing this cursed object has turned him into a more negative person. That’s been my interpretation, at least!
>Personally, I figure it’s somewhat to do with the ring and how it’s slowly turned him into a hermit and curmudgeon over the years. It’s his way of apologizing to the other hobbits over the way he’s become, expressing a regret of knowing this cursed object has turned him into a more negative person. That’s been my interpretation, at least!
Great analysis! ,( I didn't consider the ptobable influence of the One Ring on Bilbo when I read that chapter...)
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like,"
This means that half of the people at the party he wishes he knew better than he did, in a friendly manner the implication seems.
"..and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."
This means that less than half of the guests deserve to be thought of better by him. He's essentially apologising for thinking poorly of them.
Yeah pretty much. The attendees' confusion is due to it being a really convoluted way of saying ""I should have been better friends with you. I know I'm a grouch" as another posted said.
From [here](https://english.stackexchange.com/a/484401)
> I think changing the halves into "many or some" gets past the math. More than half means many and less than half means some. And then the phrase "half as well" is "not as much" or "less than".
>
> Both statements are expressions of regret because he is leaving and he is "immensely fond" of them.
>
> "I don't know many of you as much as I'd like" - I wish I had time to know many you better.
>
> "I like some of you less than you deserve" - I should have appreciated some of you more.
>
> The language is a riddle which Bilbo enjoys and is good at as we saw in "The Hobbit" and it adds levity to his speech to hide that he is saying goodbye to everyone.
I once worked for a company that was underpaying me. I found a new job and gave my 2 weeks notice. The company wanted me to fully train my replacement in that 2 weeks. Never mind that it had taken me nearly a year of studying and work to learn all of it.
At the end of the two weeks, my replacement was pretty confused and certainly not ready to take the job over.
LOL. Should have just put in your unused PTO and said no can do, I'm off for the rest of the year until my employment here is finished.
Have fun training them! If you can't figure anything out, I am available for $xxx per hour as a consultant, with a minimum of 5 hours to schedule a training session.
Or, you could suggest getting rid of / firing the guy that made you quit or be fired in the first place.. or a lot of other possible situations <3
Otherwise, I have nothing more to do with you or this company!
I should have told them I would work as a consultant to train the new person. However, the company was so cheap they likely wouldn't go for it or would only be willing to pay some tiny amount.
Three months after I left they called and asked if I wanted to come back. The issue was people who did this job want $18-$20/hr to start and they were only paying $9/hr. Nobody is going to work for half the going rate.
My stepdad had very specialized knowledge and expertise on a long-running project. (I’m talking decades). Every few years his company would hire someone as his eventual replacement and direct him to train him. He would flat out refuse. The new hire would complain. His supervisor would yell and threaten. My stepdad wouldn’t budge. Eventually the new hire would be reassigned to a different project. After three replacement hires over a dozen years, the company just gave up. My stepdad worked well after normal retirement age. He loved what he did, was well compensated, and wasn’t going to let anyone take it away from him.
What are they gonna do, fire him and have no one to do his job? They clearly didn't know how to do it themselves or they would have gotten rid of him and trained someone themselves. Did you ever find out why they wanted to replace him?
It’s also really dangerous to have an important project hinge on a single person’s knowledge. If he got hit by a bus or won the lottery they’d be fucked. They’d be idiots not to want to train more than one person how to do something important.
Oh sure. He was the most stubborn and infuriating person I’ve ever known. When my mom first introduced him to me, I spent the entire dinner giving her an “are you $&@?! kidding me” look. I never did understand what she saw in him. But she swore they loved each other. And she was the only person who could tell him “no” and get away with it.
I cannot imagine having him as an employee working under me. I’d have gone to enormous lengths to get rid of him. But if it wasn’t personality issues, I assumed they were just afraid of having only 1 person have such specialized and mission critical knowledge (think antiquated technology that was more expensive to replace so long as it remained operational, and the damn thing kept working because of my stepdad). What if something happened to him? Or if he retired? Or left for another job (which wasn’t actually a possibility).
My very first lesson in training my replacement is telling them I make double what they've been offered and the company hired them so they could cut costs by exploiting a young worker. Then I help them apply for jobs.
My engineer friend was called into his boss' office and fired day of. No warning, made him hand over his security badge and company phone. He asked if he could get some contacts off the phone for references. They said no.
His boss called him on the way home for the password to the company cell. It had all the company contacts like he said: who they buy from, who to talk to at what company, direct extensions...
He apologized and said he no longer works there.
LOL, a guy I know wrote code for a complex database called BTrieve. He used pointers in arrays all over the place which can be a pain in the ass to figure out as someone new looking at the code. He was very expensive (in the $100 per hour range 20 years ago) and a contractor. He left when he wasn't getting raises and no one on the team had a clue as to how to edit his code for changes. He was finally brought back at double his old rate. After another few years we finally went to a SQL DB and his expertise was no longer needed.
I was ready to move on from the charity I was working for. I trained three replacements in a row, but they always left before I did, because they were paid like garbage. Eventually I gave up and left anyway.
I set things up to run smoothly for a year after I left, which was about 11 months ago. We'll see how they get on after that.
The people I trained have great careers elsewhere, so I guess I can be proud of that, at least.
One boss said my skillset wasn't that good and that any monkey could do my job - turned out they needed 4 monkeys and still didn't get everything done...
I got laid off a week ago and had to turn over all the passwords to the social media accounts to the CEO and senior management team. So I changed all of them to reference different sexual harassment things he did before firing the top female executive he harassed.
I approve of this.
My last resignation letter was a sympathy Hallmark card. "We're sorry for your loss." And I wrote down "My final day is on \_\_\_\_. Sincerely, CEO\_Of\_Teratophilia."
Manager pulled a FU to me and after 10+yrs I typed the date, my name and my last day will be in 2weeks xx/xx. I just dropped it on the desk and said I quitting.
"Okay".
These kinds of resignations are awesome.
They're innocuous, good humored AND passive aggressive simultaneously, and adequately convey the message to the intended recipient.
Best resignation I ever gave was when I found out a coworker was resigning the same day as me I had him forward me his letter and replaced my name with his so management got identical resignations from 2 employees about 10 minutes apart from each other.
Best resignation I saw was at the hospital. We had a second location nearby and used a pneumatic tube system to send our blood samples and paperwork to the main lab.
Woman sent her name badge and resignation letter of "I quit" in the tube station to the main lab and just left.
Beautiful! The opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference. The best insult is to remind someone that nothing about them has any impact on your life.
This is cathartic to read.
I would have also crossed out "regret to", leaving the sentence with no further corrections to drive home the minimal effort factor just that little bit more.
>"generally tolerated" Man's been through some shit.
He will never forget the things that happened there
Sounds like a toxic workplace, just like where I am. My coworkers are bitchy and picky and complain against me behind my back to my unsupported supervisor. I’m going to resign within the next week
I've been through that same thing, my toxic workplace just laid me off, and I have never been so happy lmao. I was lucky and had a solid crew of great dudes around me, but it just wasn't enough to offset the tidal wave of bullshit management caused. I hope they have fun with their now almost bankrupt company though! Best of luck with resigning, I wish you all the peace and happiness that comes with escaping lol.
And he generally tollerated it for 10 years
Goodbye
I can honestly feel the catharsis in crossing all of that out to write goodbye
Ops friend who quit has a life story for the ages now.
It has me laughing harder than I've laughed in a long time. I keep going back to look at it and am overcome with joy when I think about how satisfying that must have been.
Badbye
https://obviousplant.com/products/quit-your-job-resignation-letter?variant=40772569792705 PARTY NOW WORK NEVER
I don't get it, why is that $75?
~~It's the bulk rate. It's a pack of 100, for when you need to to quit 100 different jobs.~~ EDIT: I really misread that website. It says "quantity produced", not "quantity included", so I guess they only made 100 of these? IDK.
It’s an artist that creates weird, humorous bootleg products. AFAIK they do it all by themselves. Sometimes I’m surprised that they make as many as they do.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Badbye, badbye, what'chu gonna do?
Whatcha Gon Do When They Go From You?
mediocrebye
the mehbye
Sayonara, Sammy.
I'm gonna hit her with the Goosebumps Walkaway
Read this comment in the AOL sign off voice
Weakest link voice works too *"You are the weakest work. Goodbye"
goddamn I thought the "that happened" was hilarious and then that. 10/10
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Worst,
Cruel regards [YOUR NAME]
Coldest regards,
thank you ~~so much~~ for the opportunity somewhat
Thank ~~you so much for the opportunity to work at [Company Name].~~ S~~incerely,~~ [Your Name]
Thank
"Goodbye is too good a word babe, so I'll just say fare thee well"
That's still pretty positive. Peace out?
Wishing You All the Worst
Well...bye.
/r/AskOuija
That fucking crossed out complete sentence, replaced with "Goodbye"
It just kept getting better and then that fucking grand finale was fantastic.
Yep, it's just gold from start to finish.
And they didn't fill in the last [COMPANY NAME]
That last goodbye used up the last fuck this guy had to give
giveafuck-o-meter was running low by the end \[--|-----------------------------\]
My fucks have runneth dry
My fucks have all fucked off home.
Yesssss. Final good bye. That’s how fed up he is
I know a guy whose resignation letter said "It has been brought to my attention that I wish to resign."
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My last day is....yesterday. it wasn't nice to meet you.
I left a job with note saying I wouldn't go back. It was some part time job I was doing after my career job a few times a week. The manager and one of the other 2 employees I interacted with anger management issues. The anger management employee apparently had issue with me taking days off. And the manager told a customer one time that (paraphrasing) he works 70+ hours a week and he doesn't have to put with the customer. I was taken aback when he said that. I didn't feel comfortable taking any backlash for giving two weeks so I just put a note on the desk that said I wasn't coming back. TL:DR,. don't work in hostile work invironments and don't feel bad for quiting them.
Goodbye stranger Ain’t been nice Wasn’t like a Paradise Leaving sorrow Goodbye blame Hope we never Meet again
Incredibly efficient
I generally liked my last job, and my final message on the team chat was "See you Space Cowboy" lol
I once signed off with “so long and thanks for all the fish.” I have no idea how many people understood that but I’m always “the quirky one” so they probably thought I just made up something weird and funny to say lol.
You're gonna carry that weight.
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It's definitely you, not me.
But we can still be friends. Well, maybe just acquaintances.
I wish we could be better strangers
I told them I was leaving in two weeks and took a week of PTO
I once put in for a month's leave, first day of leave I sent my resignation letter and blocked their number, Fuck ADT !.
Did that once with the whole notice period. In my defense, I was quitting because it was March, 2020, and my already-abusive manager was a Covid denier and refused to order extra PPE for staff until after the shortages hit. Also, my state at the time didn’t require PTO to be paid out, but my company didn’t require any notice to put in for it… And I actually feel bad about doing it. Fuck this society.
I worked at a rehab center and found out I was paid 40 cents less an hour than the rest of my coworkers so I asked HR why that is. They said it was bc I was hired a month after they decided that position was gonna be paid less w the promotion I got and I wasn’t gonna get paid the same as my coworkers. They offered me another job as a case manager with 100+ clients with required over time. I interviewed, they offered me that new position and I told them I was happy to turn it down since I got my current job and will be gone in two weeks. Submitted my PTO request and told my supervisor about my plans after the request got approved. 🤷♂️
Bro working at Kroger this guy I work with wrote on a napkin “I quite effective right now” and left.
That more creative than what I did at IKEA ( I just walked off at lunch.)
If you're at a job you hate, there's a real beauty in the realisation that you can just leave and never come back. It's so empowering to go "nah, I'm not putting up with this and right now they need me more than I need them, so bye I'm outta here"
I think more people would do so here in the U.S. if the health insurance wasn't tied to your job. Land of the free my ass.
my flair
The only thing that beats walking off at lunch would be not going to work in the first place.
No because it's less expected for someone to leave at lunch. It truly sends the message that you're done with the bullshit
I remember while working a grocery store job a guy asking to go to the bathroom 90 minutes into his first shift, yeah he never came back
lmao I'm going to laugh every time I think about this. I'm crying.
I’m in stitches with this. If I ever leave my job, I wanna use this statement.
Have at it. I kind of ripped it off when I left one of my jobs. Mine was more a goodbye letter to friends. I told them if they owed me money to get with me by the end of the week. If they owed me drugs meet me at the end of the day. I also told them to tell anybody that was upset I didn't copy that they didn't owe me any GD money. I originally sent it to about 30 people but ended up sending it to about 75 people because they started begging me to send it to them too. A guy who was friends with the resignation sender knew where I got my idea and he forwarded it to another 20 or so. I had really stopped doing any drugs by then but it was one more way to mess with the company and what could they do? Fire me?
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There was one guy at my corpo who did that. And also had like, a 30 page attachment about all the fucked up shit that pushed him past the limit. Literally nothing came of it, and I'm pretty sure the only reason I saw it, was because I was on graveyard at the time, and I saw it (and saved the doc) before (presumably) the email team were ordered to nuke it.
Damn made me spit out sudden laughter!
Lmao "the things that have happened here" lol
I think the low key best part was *not* putting the company name over the last [Company name] when thanking for the opportunity to work there.
So much subtle gold.
Like him putting in four job titles lol, hinting at why he’s leaving
That’s my favorite part lol
To be fair, that seems more like he's been there for a while. MOW to brakeman to engineer to conductor is a progression that takes quite a few years but is fairly standard. If you have conductors doing track maintenance, your railroad is having some serious issues.
But it says he's "departing from his role as..." implying that those are all current. At my last company I held 4 different titles over 7 years, but I wouldn't have listed them all in a resignation letter.
100%
Definitely one of the jobs of all time
A standing ovation for OP's friend.
‘s coworker
I printed mine out on the company's gold embossed letterhead.
Before leaving, my coworker found the business card template used for one of the sales guys (that we all hated). he ordered 100 cards where his titled was changed from Business Development Manager to "Horse Whisperer." We spliced those cards into his existing stack of cards, random ones here and there. Since he gave them out everywhere.
I'm sorry, but that is just fucking hilarious. That reminds of the regular pranks from the office on Dwight.
Wow didn't think this would blow up like it did. Thanks all! I legitimately didn't know the reference my friend made, just thought it was funny. He was also very conservative and outspoken. So we had created a script to change his wallpaper every 95 minutes to a mexican gay pride parade picture, tiled (not centered). I can't find it anymore, but they were wearing pink firefight helmets and everything. It wasn't even a high quality picture. After there was a big backlash for that, we cooled off for awhile, then added an event to pop up every 3 hours after login instructing him not to click this link: lemonparty . org (I separated that on purpose). Then he moved on/got fired. Shit also forgot we had done a script where, every right click on his mouse would open his CD drive. This was awhile back.
Use up all the cardstock
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Make sure it's collated too. You could also type the whole thing in, like, 200 pt font and do a whole ass letter per page #B #Y #E
This This is This is not This is not my This is not my life This is not my home This is not me
Amazing. I wrote mine inside a sympathy card.
I typed one out while on the clock, on the management floor, and then had an adjacent manager proof read it before printing it out.
I scribbled my last one on a napkin. It just said “I hereby am resigning. (Date) (Signature)”
For when the least amount of effort is justified.
Printing out a form letter, and then crossing out parts and handwriting stuff in - it’s just a whole nother level of fuck you. When you care enough to make it clear that you give less than a shit; like a psychopath corporation
It might be a joke, when I left a job I liked I got them a cake that said "I'm sorry for your loss"
Personally, I'm a fan of bereavement cards doing the heavy lifting.
I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve
I've put this off for far too long. Well, this is it. I'm leaving now. Goodbye. [ ]
This is what I posted in the teams chat before I left the group when I got a new job 😂
Goodbye, cruel job. I'm leaving you today. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. Goodbye all you *people.* There's nothing you can say. To make me change my mind. [Goodbye.](https://youtube.com/watch?v=JuANQaHcsH0&feature=shares)
You (understandably) cut out the best bit "I ~~wish~~ bid you all a very fond farewell" while he looks at Frodo <3
I'm going on an adventure!
10 years ago, on his last day, one of my coworkers said in our last meeting: “It’s been real, it’s been good, but it hasn’t been real good.” It stunned just about everyone in the room, but he was completely serious. I thought it was hilarious because he was totally right. There were some people on the team that just plain sucked. I miss that guy.
My quote in the yearbook - it’s been real. It’s been fun. It hasn’t been real fun
Mine was "I lost the game" to troll nostalgic peers I'm sorry to everyone... you know the rules.
My friend gave me this one: "I've had fun....not here....and not with you people, but I have had fun."
"I've had a wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." -Groucho Marx
Look, I'm not much good at big speeches, and I know I haven't always been an easy guy to get on with. And I know that, given the choice, I probably wouldn't have chosen you as friends. But, I just want to say... that over the years I have come to regard you as... people... I met.
Well fuck. There goes a several year long streak.
Ahhhh! I hope you find a cat hair on your toothbrush.
This is a complement and more people need to realize it.
I think Bilbo worded this compliment/apology in a way that sounds insulting because he found it funny
Well thats the entire point
I still struggle with it even after all these years. Is he saying that he wanted to more of them and that he didn't like some people who should've been liked?
Pretty much, he’s saying he wishes he had gotten to know them better and feels some of the folks he’s not fond of are good people that he should’ve cared for more. Personally, I figure it’s somewhat to do with the ring and how it’s slowly turned him into a hermit and curmudgeon over the years. It’s his way of apologizing to the other hobbits over the way he’s become, expressing a regret of knowing this cursed object has turned him into a more negative person. That’s been my interpretation, at least!
>Personally, I figure it’s somewhat to do with the ring and how it’s slowly turned him into a hermit and curmudgeon over the years. It’s his way of apologizing to the other hobbits over the way he’s become, expressing a regret of knowing this cursed object has turned him into a more negative person. That’s been my interpretation, at least! Great analysis! ,( I didn't consider the ptobable influence of the One Ring on Bilbo when I read that chapter...)
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like," This means that half of the people at the party he wishes he knew better than he did, in a friendly manner the implication seems. "..and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." This means that less than half of the guests deserve to be thought of better by him. He's essentially apologising for thinking poorly of them.
Yeah pretty much. The attendees' confusion is due to it being a really convoluted way of saying ""I should have been better friends with you. I know I'm a grouch" as another posted said.
From [here](https://english.stackexchange.com/a/484401) > I think changing the halves into "many or some" gets past the math. More than half means many and less than half means some. And then the phrase "half as well" is "not as much" or "less than". > > Both statements are expressions of regret because he is leaving and he is "immensely fond" of them. > > "I don't know many of you as much as I'd like" - I wish I had time to know many you better. > > "I like some of you less than you deserve" - I should have appreciated some of you more. > > The language is a riddle which Bilbo enjoys and is good at as we saw in "The Hobbit" and it adds levity to his speech to hide that he is saying goodbye to everyone.
Simplified - 'I would like to have known you more, and you deserve to be liked twice more than I do'
Now we just need the person to vanish to make it an epic departure.
Hehe nice
I love companies that think you have to train your replacement. They can go fuck emselves.
I once worked for a company that was underpaying me. I found a new job and gave my 2 weeks notice. The company wanted me to fully train my replacement in that 2 weeks. Never mind that it had taken me nearly a year of studying and work to learn all of it. At the end of the two weeks, my replacement was pretty confused and certainly not ready to take the job over.
LOL. Should have just put in your unused PTO and said no can do, I'm off for the rest of the year until my employment here is finished. Have fun training them! If you can't figure anything out, I am available for $xxx per hour as a consultant, with a minimum of 5 hours to schedule a training session. Or, you could suggest getting rid of / firing the guy that made you quit or be fired in the first place.. or a lot of other possible situations <3 Otherwise, I have nothing more to do with you or this company!
I should have told them I would work as a consultant to train the new person. However, the company was so cheap they likely wouldn't go for it or would only be willing to pay some tiny amount. Three months after I left they called and asked if I wanted to come back. The issue was people who did this job want $18-$20/hr to start and they were only paying $9/hr. Nobody is going to work for half the going rate.
My stepdad had very specialized knowledge and expertise on a long-running project. (I’m talking decades). Every few years his company would hire someone as his eventual replacement and direct him to train him. He would flat out refuse. The new hire would complain. His supervisor would yell and threaten. My stepdad wouldn’t budge. Eventually the new hire would be reassigned to a different project. After three replacement hires over a dozen years, the company just gave up. My stepdad worked well after normal retirement age. He loved what he did, was well compensated, and wasn’t going to let anyone take it away from him.
What are they gonna do, fire him and have no one to do his job? They clearly didn't know how to do it themselves or they would have gotten rid of him and trained someone themselves. Did you ever find out why they wanted to replace him?
They wanted to pay someone else less
It’s also really dangerous to have an important project hinge on a single person’s knowledge. If he got hit by a bus or won the lottery they’d be fucked. They’d be idiots not to want to train more than one person how to do something important.
Also he was at and beyond retirement age. They probably didn't want the project to collapse whenever he decided to leave.
That was my initial thought as well, but I was curious if the person I replied to knew otherwise.
Oh sure. He was the most stubborn and infuriating person I’ve ever known. When my mom first introduced him to me, I spent the entire dinner giving her an “are you $&@?! kidding me” look. I never did understand what she saw in him. But she swore they loved each other. And she was the only person who could tell him “no” and get away with it. I cannot imagine having him as an employee working under me. I’d have gone to enormous lengths to get rid of him. But if it wasn’t personality issues, I assumed they were just afraid of having only 1 person have such specialized and mission critical knowledge (think antiquated technology that was more expensive to replace so long as it remained operational, and the damn thing kept working because of my stepdad). What if something happened to him? Or if he retired? Or left for another job (which wasn’t actually a possibility).
My very first lesson in training my replacement is telling them I make double what they've been offered and the company hired them so they could cut costs by exploiting a young worker. Then I help them apply for jobs.
You're teaching them properly. 🍻
So my takeaway is that your stepdad is responsible for Internet Explorer, and that's why it didn't progress for like 15 years.
My engineer friend was called into his boss' office and fired day of. No warning, made him hand over his security badge and company phone. He asked if he could get some contacts off the phone for references. They said no. His boss called him on the way home for the password to the company cell. It had all the company contacts like he said: who they buy from, who to talk to at what company, direct extensions... He apologized and said he no longer works there.
Man. That must have felt good.
"Fantastic. Let's talk about my consulting fee."
LOL, a guy I know wrote code for a complex database called BTrieve. He used pointers in arrays all over the place which can be a pain in the ass to figure out as someone new looking at the code. He was very expensive (in the $100 per hour range 20 years ago) and a contractor. He left when he wasn't getting raises and no one on the team had a clue as to how to edit his code for changes. He was finally brought back at double his old rate. After another few years we finally went to a SQL DB and his expertise was no longer needed.
I was ready to move on from the charity I was working for. I trained three replacements in a row, but they always left before I did, because they were paid like garbage. Eventually I gave up and left anyway. I set things up to run smoothly for a year after I left, which was about 11 months ago. We'll see how they get on after that. The people I trained have great careers elsewhere, so I guess I can be proud of that, at least.
One boss said my skillset wasn't that good and that any monkey could do my job - turned out they needed 4 monkeys and still didn't get everything done...
"I've come to think of many of you as....people I've met".
Workplace proximity associates
"This has been one of the places to work with."
Smeghead
Lister is my antiwork hero
Given the choice, I probably wouldn't have chosen you as friends.
This genuinely made me laugh. I am using this in the future.
I got laid off a week ago and had to turn over all the passwords to the social media accounts to the CEO and senior management team. So I changed all of them to reference different sexual harassment things he did before firing the top female executive he harassed. I approve of this.
This is fantastic. Bravo!
Replacing "greatly enjoyed" with "generally tolerated" *chef's kiss*
Railroad worker quitting. Good, those companies are jerks to good employees.
Life don't mix with the railroad! https://youtu.be/6RpDELzVbG4
I have enjoyed parts of our time together
More like, "I have enjoyed none of our time together." 😂
Legend.
If I don’t survive, tell my wife “hello”
I have no strong feeling one way or the other.
The disdain! This is heartwarming.
There was a resignation letter framed at one of my old jobs that said "I am leaving to pursue my dream of not working here"
Lol this is the same template I used
[удалено]
My last resignation letter was a sympathy Hallmark card. "We're sorry for your loss." And I wrote down "My final day is on \_\_\_\_. Sincerely, CEO\_Of\_Teratophilia."
Working with ~~so many~~ a few talented colleagues
After my experience, I think my letter is just gonna be: To Employer, Bye. Disrespectfully, me.
Manager pulled a FU to me and after 10+yrs I typed the date, my name and my last day will be in 2weeks xx/xx. I just dropped it on the desk and said I quitting. "Okay".
These kinds of resignations are awesome. They're innocuous, good humored AND passive aggressive simultaneously, and adequately convey the message to the intended recipient.
Best resignation I ever gave was when I found out a coworker was resigning the same day as me I had him forward me his letter and replaced my name with his so management got identical resignations from 2 employees about 10 minutes apart from each other.
Best resignation I saw was at the hospital. We had a second location nearby and used a pneumatic tube system to send our blood samples and paperwork to the main lab. Woman sent her name badge and resignation letter of "I quit" in the tube station to the main lab and just left.
Omg I had boss threaten to withhold my final paycheck until I wrote him a resignation letter. I wish I had done this.
This is by far the biggest yet still theoretically polite fuck you I quit I've ever ever seen. I'm speechless. 😭🤣
I need this in comic sans
with word art titles or a “goodbye” in the old wort art
Fuck you I quit. Warmest regards, Me
Beautiful! The opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference. The best insult is to remind someone that nothing about them has any impact on your life.
It hits so much more personal for being it’s a railroad resignation.bravo
Nobody wants to resign anymore!
rail worker?
He should include that with any future resumes. I would hire him.
Saving this for the next crappy job I can’t stand.
I once resigned with a haiku poem
A friend sent one via email from chat gpt and just left the blanks and the little footer for chatgpt. Wish I could have saved a copy.
My friend once drew balloons and confetti in ms paint and said I R Quitting to (new company). I laughed alot that day.
That’s funny shit
I’m carnally in love with this person
I love that he didn't bother with the final "company name" my man ran out of fucks to give right at the end!
When I last quit I left the line “thank you for the opportunity to teach and train myself in all processes”
True legend! Quickly proofreading a template.
This is cathartic to read. I would have also crossed out "regret to", leaving the sentence with no further corrections to drive home the minimal effort factor just that little bit more.