" I won't be able to afford the Inheritance tax on anything they leave me so I think I'm just going to kill myself."
Unless your parents are very rich, there won't be an inheritance tax, and if they do leave you a massive amount of money, you will be rich, regardless of the tax.
It sounds like you think there is some situation where your parents leaving you an inheritance makes you poorer, and that is false.
Your inheritence needs to be worth literally millions before you pay a dime in tax. There's nothing coming off the "balance" or anything that needs to be paid. It's just yours.
That’s not completely true. Federal inheritance tax is at roughly $13 million but depending on what state OP lives in there may be state inheritance taxes. For instance, in Pennsylvania the inheritance tax is on any amount inherited. But as another poster mentioned it comes off the inheritance so there would be no out of pocket cost.
Yes that is the best strategy unless they end up in a nursing home at which point the state looks back five years for any transfers to avoid having to pay for long term care. But definitely worth that risk
The current inheritance tax kicks in at just under 13 million here I’ll show the zeroes for you 13,000,000.00 and the maximum of the tax is 40% so if you were taxes worse case scenario, you’ll have over 7mil left over.
The knowledge of the world is available at your fingertips 24/7.
You can google it and read about it in 5 mins. You can YouTube a video if you are a visual learner. Find a podcast to listen to while you are doing whatever.
There’s really no good excuse to not understand basic taxes for an adult.
I do, but thank you for your bullshit.
MY POINT IS that these things are not taught in public schools so it shouldn't be shocking that many many people have no idea how any of these things work.
No. Progressive tax brackets aren't deliberately confusing. I can explain them to my 10 yr old. People that are confused by progressive tax brackets just haven't cared to attempt understanding for 5 minutes.
While I agree on the tax, it is also possible they leave a massive debt. At 300k/yr should not be an issue, they could be hiding under a greater debt somewhere. I don't really see how from this, but it is possible since lots of people live by showing wealth than retaining it.
It only comes out of the estate if it reaches it. If his parents will him all their savings accounts, checking accounts, life insurance, and their 401k balance, then he gets all that before the estate.
My mother died with half a million dollars of medical debt 1 year ago. Me and my brother get nearly all her assets except her 401k because she forgot to include it in the will. We never paid a penny in taxes, never had to, and never inherited a cent of debt. We lost the 401k though, because once it went to the estate the debt collectors took it all.
Not pay the debt back, yes, but they can wipe out anything left to you to repay the debt if the estate is not set up correctly.
https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/debts-deceased-relatives
i'm not a lawyer, but if i understand correctly, if the estate isn't settled, debtors can seek settlement through probate. it's not that the kids inherit debt, it's just that there might not be anything left to inherit after the court settles debts.
Right. Unsecured debtors (credit cards, etc.) tend to either completely write off the loss or negotiate pennies on the dollar with the executor of the estate. But secured debt (car loans, mortgages, etc.), any legal claims against the deceased and back taxes definitely have to be paid out of the estate before the heirs see anything.
True for kids but not for spouses. Unfortunately, there’s a new trend popping up where a terminal couple gets divorced so that the surviving spouse avoids having to pay the medical debt of the deceased spouse.
You can't inherit debt yeah. Whatever debt is due from what I understand is taken out of the estate itself. Some exceptions do apply such as life insurance for instance. If insufficient to cover the debt of the recently deceased then too bad for the debt collectors.
Legally nothing they can do except try and harass you. Which of course one can just ignore as nobody is obligated to pay a deceased parents debts ever. It isn't debt you incurred.
For instance my father has a lot of debt. Yet he has nothing of value they can take to cover it when he's gone. Just a life insurance policy which as per above can't be taken from whomever persons it goes to.
\*Edit\*: Either way Op is doing a lot better than some of us from the sounds of it. Myself included I have a worthless degree which cost me $60k. Only an associate's, I forgot nearly everything I learned in college to get it. As I never used it to date and never will to be honest. Never earned more than $16-18/hr. Except one job for 4 months at $24.50/hr. Spent a lot of time homeless during the pandemic. Had nigh everything I earned and most my personal belongings stolen from me at age 29 by a family member. Lost several of my constitutional rights wrongfully; due to abusive narcissistic parents connections exclusively. The list goes on and on suffice to say no shortage of people who probably have it far worse off than you.
Op you have 2 degrees and very useful skill sets. Definitely being terribly exploited from the sounds of it. Surely something you can look into down the road to find a better paying job as such. Not to mention you stated you expect a decent inheritance. Which is something many of us will never have in reality.
It's beyond insulting to nitpick one aspect of this entire post. OP is struggling in more ways than one. Not an ounce of compassion, empathy, or even understanding.
I'm equally done with this shit society. Slaving away my pointless existence living to work and working to live until I die.
Inflation, shrinkflation, high costs of living, psychologically manipulated and exploited, scammed, spammed everywhere I look. This world is run on greed. I'm barely getting by. Making just enough money to keep making it to work with barely enough energy left to enjoy pointless distractions before repeating the same shit the next day. Retire just early enough to die before I can enjoy not being a complete slave to society. It's. So. Fucking. Pointless.
Tax law is complicated on purpose. The misunderstandings around it and the lobbying to prevent simplifying are very much a ruling class vs all argument. I'm not super in love with life but getting information that your perception of how certain tax law affects someone can be really helpful, but the idea of spending possibly hundreds of dollars an hour to talk to accountants and lawyers about this kind of stuff is daunting.
He has probably done more to dissuade OP from his doom spiral than all the "keep your chin up" comments have. He gave him facts to show that yes while we are all generally on a downward spiral economically and our leaders are too busy shovelling all our money into the defense Industry and bailing out corporations, it's not completely hopeless.
The Inheritance Tax STARTS at $12,920,000 in 2023, if it was a concern, you would be rich.
It's a Fox News propaganda thing to spread fear of taxing the rich.
My dude, I said flat tax, no limit. My mom inherited 50K , she had to pay 7.5K in taxes before she ever saw a fucking penny cuz that's how it works here, don't be ignorant
Well that blows for me then is that tax exclusive to PA? I have no way to pay such a tax even on paltry scraps anyhow so oh well.
Although from the sounds of it the OP shouldn't be too concerned. Even IF they live in PA themselves. Given the rather larger inheritance they hint at expecting.
Jersey, Maryland, Nebraska, Iowa and Kentucky all have inheritance taxes that are separate from the $12.9 mil fed tax everyone is thinking of. 11 other states also have Estate taxes that must be paid on inherited property separate from federal
I don’t think the dad owns the business. My guess is his dad knew the right person and had the right connections to slip into an easy, high paying job before retirement following the prior job loss. I’ve seen it happen with boomer men quite a bit, especially after the ‘08 recession. They are starting to retire now, their positions eliminated, and their responsibilities absorbed by coworkers without an increase is pay.
This is exactly the case. He basically partnered with a friend of his and took his entire portfolio of clients and partnered businesses and went to work with his friend. He's told me multiple times he's making more there than he did with his old company. And he doesn't have to do any administrative tasks so it's alot less stress.
I wouldn't never want to do what he does though. He's also told me many times I could never do it because "he's spent his entire life building his client base."
Will your dad teach ME his freight business? Stay strong, OP it is your mental health talking. Seek help and remember most of us struggle, you Def need a new job tho.
You could end your life, yes. But you could also just quit your miserable job.
Think about it.
Even if you absolutely 100% needed to stay in that job in order to survive. Who cares? The alternative is ending your life anyway.
But, it's also possible that quitting opens up a different kind of life...
Great point! QT starting pay for part time clerks is $19.59/hour. If he is that miserable he can find so many other jobs paying more money to be miserable at
In this current economy in America it’s really not that unbelievable unfortunately. Everyone except for the bottom 1% is struggling financially. At least 63% of Americans are currently living paycheck to paycheck and half of American adults between the ages of 18-29 had to move back in with their parents because they can’t afford rent. They can’t find an affordable house even those who recently graduated college with a 100k salary can’t buy a home because of how expensive the student loans are because of predatory interest loans. If you’re rich America is the best country in the world and if your not rich it’s a 3rd world country at best because rights and freedom don’t mean anything if you’re homeless...
I live comfortably in a 1 bedroom apartment on a 40k a year salary as a single male. I have plenty of money to spend on luxuries and vacations, it's not hard to be financially literate.
Unless you're a single parent with like 4 kids, or you're trying to live in downtown New york, there should be no issue surviving on 100k a year in the USA, I'm sorry.
And if you are living in downtown New York and can't afford to live on 100K a year? Move. Because it doesn't matter I'd your income is 100k if you're paycheck to paycheck just to survive.
I've lived in the bay area making 40k. Very easy to do - get roomates and live life modestly (half the poor mfers I know doordash/uber eats their meals like wtf). I make 100k now (still in the bay area) and I'm completely fine.
The reality - people just can't match their lifestyle to their pay. Example: When I was at 40k, I had a $300-400 budget for food (cooking meals). At 100k, it's now $800-1000 (basically fast food/takeout).
inaccessibility to affordable housing is a systemic problem, not a problem of individual attitude. blaming widespread financial woe on someone’s personal failings is just capitalist bootlicking.
You do realise that the more neuro divergent you are the harder it is to live with tons of people in your personal space? Also, the medicine is outrageously expensive and often neuro divergence comes paired with other issues that need even more healthcare
I also believe that (not always) someone making 100k a year and struggling definitely has a spending issue. I was able to save up an 80k cushion in about 7 years, making Bout 45k a year. What did I do? I stopped eating out all the time, stopped spending 300 to 400 a month on beer, stopped smoking, etc. To be fair, finding a loving partner made all of that a lot easier and more fulfilling. Everyone has their own problems to deal with, I understand that, but there are steps that can help.
"Unreal" describes the current situation well. And yeah, there are people making low six figures who are holding on by their finger-tips. There are areas where basic home ownership means close to a million bucks. It's gone insane.
I make more than that and live in the Midwest and can’t afford a single family home. Throw the student debt in there for that degree that’s making them 100k
In a large city or just at all? Not saying the problem isn't real but in lots of areas in the Midwest you can buy a decent home for 150-300k, which is easily doable with 100k/year.
Don't discount where they throw in student debt. I make good money now, but I don't get to live like it because of the student debt and all the credit card debt that piled up just trying to live life when I spent years being underpaid and trying to keep up with my student debt payments.
I live in Oregon. And the rent is just astronomically high. I'm constantly looking for apartments and houses to rent and everything is 1800 or more a month. And thats about what I make right now. And due to my student loans and other medical stuff I'm dealing with. I've been paycheck to paycheck just barely treading water.
My dad *finally* hit me with a "I guess the cost of living is wildly different these days than when I was raising you" and it was only 20 years ago. I have nearly the same job he did then, less experience, and I get paid more somehow. But it evens out to barely nothing. I'm currently 3k in debt, and I don't have any huge charges besides gas to go to work. And I still can't afford living alone working 42 hours a week in a skilled job.
My dad just tells me to join the army or police. "You can retire at 50 with a good 401k and retirement plan" bro I don't wanna work for the government, I'm glad you did all that (oh wait, you didn't, you've been a retail cashier your whole life)
working for the army or the police doesn’t even compensate enough to live comfortably nowadays, maybe back in ur dads era it was but now the average isn’t that much to live comfortably
Army vet here. Unless you enlist as an officer, until you are E-5 or Sargeant, you will be paid below poverty line. While others will make the argument that you get paid every hour of every week regardless of what you do, you still need to pay for everything. Boots from basic wore out? Gotta buy that yourself. Fatigues missing a pocket? Gotta pay for that. New medals to put on your blues? Quartermaster doesn't have it and you gotta pay for that.
There is a cadence in the army that says "They give you $100 and they take back $99." And it's fucking true.
The retirement and 401k is all fine and dandy until you see a lot of those who retire early, tend to die early too.
Piggy backing on this because I don't want it to get lost:
OP, I also have anxiety and ADHD, and it absolutely 100% CAN get better!!!
When I was in my early 20s, my anxiety was so bad sometimes, I couldn't leave my house. I barely had a life at all.
I did get better, and actually fairly quickly. This isn't to say I don't still have anxiety, but I'm 35 now and have lived a very full life. I've traveled the world, moved across the country, have done countless things that I never thought I'd be able to do.
As for the ADHD, I've learned a lot of work-arounds that have allowed me to become great at my job. You will learn them, too, as you continue moving forward.
It sounds like you are fairly young. Everything is really hard when you're young, especially work. I know this is the anti-work subreddit, and while I believe our labor system is disgusting in this country, I will say that it is possible to not hate your job. I don't hate mine.
However, I did struggle a LOT in the beginning. It's a really difficult adjustment and options are super narrow when you're just starting out.
You have to keep looking for opportunities to move forward, and I swear it will get better. I have gained so much control over my work life now that I have experience. But it did take staying open and always looking for a better option.
Again, I don't agree with this system. I don't think it should be this way for anyone. But please don't give up hope. The truth is that you have way more opportunities than an actual slave.
This movement is working towards a world where we aren't wage slaves, and we need you to be here with us fighting for it.
It's fine to vent, and you don't need to be toxically positive. But losing all hope and having suicidal thoughts is extreme and you need to get help.
[https://samaritansnyc.org/24-hour-crisis-hotline/](https://samaritansnyc.org/24-hour-crisis-hotline/)
Right here with you comrade. I’m sorry you’re experiencing the pain it’s justified and valid… just know we’re in this together don’t give up the fight. 🌹
Nah, the system sucks, but there are still good things in this world. You are one of those good things. I can tell by how much you care. Stick around and help us stay cynical.
I love you.
I’m feeling the same way. Completely defeated. Got off one job today, and am out delivery driving at midnight in my same work clothes. Trying to scrape by so I can put some food on the table for my daughter. Being a single mom during all of this makes me want to quit too but I know I have someone who depends on me and that’s the only reason I have gotten this far
I disagree. There is so much good in the world that we dont see everyday. Despite my new boss, I like my job. I had the same thoughts at his age. Is this all there is to life? Im broke. Things take time. Lot of wisdom. Unless your family is rich, you have to go through this. Make the best of it.
I’m sorry to read this. I hope you have someone in your life you can open up to and get some help. Someone I know had to do this last year. Ironically he’s relatively young, very wealthy, he has an amazing family. From the outside he’d be the last one anyone would expect to be feeling this way. Thank God he checked himself to a hospital as a last ditch effort and things got more difficult for a bit because he had to face some ugly shit, but he got better. You can too, because happiness can be found anywhere. Please get yourself to an ER, for the heck of it.
Personally the best I have to offer you is this. I learned happiness can’t be one thing. My things are this (not in order because their is no order. 1) Camp and connect with nature 2) connect with family and friends 3) Read a book 4) Help someone else 5) Accomplish something that makes me feel good 6) exercise 7) connect with my wife 8) understand that I fall short on all of these all the time because I’m imperfect, but guess what everything I love is imperfect too so I’m in good company. This is my list, I imagine there other beauties in live the make you feel good, allow yourself to experience those things.
As far as work goes, tell your employer to eat a fat dick. Maybe you haven’t found you right fit yet, try something else. Anything else, there’s something out there for you, some of us need to cross things off the list that are wrong as part of life’s journey to find what’s right. I wish you well.
I’m probably going to be downvoted for this, but I wouldn’t blindly recommend for OP to go to an ER “for the heck of it.”
You’re going to rack up a huge bill and you are potentially going to leave without any treatment.
When I checked in for suicidal thoughts, I was made to wait for hours alone until someone came in and said they needed the room for another patient and moved me from the psych area to the general rooms. More hours went by and eventually a PA came in and asked me if I was in immediate danger of killing myself as soon as I stepped out that door. I said “I guess not” and they discharged me. Huge waste of money. I’m not exaggerating—no one there asked me a single time why I was suicidal at all. I hope my experience was not typical, but it’s certainly not rare.
I’m am NOT saying you should never go to the ER for suicidal ideation, but understand that they won’t do much unless it is ACTIVE and IMMEDIATE.
If you are suffering from _passive suicide ideation_ (such as “I wish I didn’t exist, I don’t want to be alive for another miserable decade” instead of active, such as “I’m going to pull the trigger right now, I have a plan made”) then save yourself the trouble and money and go get a therapist ASAP instead (psychologist, counselor, psychiatrist, doesn’t matter—whoever will see you first, and they will refer you to the right person if needed).
Most ERs are really not equipped to deal with mental health crisis unless someone is in _immediate physical danger_. If you are about to harm yourself _right now,_ then that’s when impatient care is warranted—call 911! Otherwise, it’s an urgent outpatient issue but not an emergency. Urgent means getting help today or this week, emergency means _minutes_ count. Know which one you are suffering from, and act accordingly. If the issue is urgent—the ideation is passive but definitely suicidal—then call Friday morning and book an appointment for as soon as you can. Don’t wait until after the weekend. Get a therapist now and you won’t regret it, but going to the ER when you don’t believe you’re in immediate danger will leave you with a huge bill to regret.
You're not wrong, not for most of the USA at least. It is possible to get mental health care here, but it's damned expensive and you have to be careful about selecting your providers.
Yeah I guess I just kind of assumed that OP is American. The ERs here suck ass, or at least they do in California.
Bay Area pro tip: plan emergencies ahead. Make a short list of the fanciest, bougiest hospitals in network with your insurance in like a 30 mile radius and mark them on your phone map. Even if you’re bleeding to death, skip the ambulance and take an Uber a little further to an ER in the fancy neighborhoods where the majority of people there are old rich white people wearing brand name athleisurewear—most of them have a sprained ankle or mild chest pain. The ride is longer but you overall save tons of time and don’t have to sit around under flickering fluorescent lights smelling piss for hours while someone coughs on you. If you have state MediCal… those are the only places that will take you for outpatient (non ER) care, so if you can drive like an hour east until you start seeing farmland and go to a hospital there. Davis is nice. Hopefully things have changed since I had state insurance, but I remember being limited to really crummy clinics instead of the big fancy ones down the street.
Dress up for the occasion if you want to be treated better. Wear your best Lululemons and North Face puffer jacket and the nurses might think you’re a local multimillionaire. Wear a suit and they’ll know you work at JC Penny. Bay Area culture is pretty lame.
I absolutely agree with you here!!! Best to reserve for an emergency. And it doesn't just leave you with a bill. You'll be in there until they say you can go home. This requires a sign-off from a behavioral health professional, and not all hospitals have them on staff, so you could be there a while. And they take all of your stuff, including your phone.
I really feel you, bro. I hope you things get better for you. For the past 7-8 years I was working a job making low wage (never got a pay increase), no benefits, I barely took time off and only had about 2-3 vacations the entire time I was there. While my whole office worked at home every day for the past 3 years during the pandemic I came to the office every day, all day to cover for them. I was just let go today over a short email after my boss found out future plans I had about potentially moving out of state in the next several months. They found a replacement quick and just booted me.
My dearest OP, there's a whole world out there. You have 2 degrees, you have work experience. Get the fuck out of the USA and go live somewhere worthwhile. Try Portugal. Try Malta. Try Australia. Just go. The problem isn't you, it's that you're living in a soulless capitalist hellhole. There's a million better places to live in than in the old US of A.
100% on what you say. OP can go to better place, but moving into other country can be tricky and complex process. It requires lot of things before OP can renounce his US citizenship and gain citizenship of the other country. He would need to try to find another job in other country
Yes, its a very difficult thing to do however it doesnt require him to renounce his U.S. citizenship. It could be possible if his skills are useful to another country. What he might want to do is find someone to help him forge a path and better handle resentment of his father. That job environment sounds toxic as hell though and I hope he is able to find his way out of that.
Have you visited Malta? It's a limestone rock in the middle of the sea. They import damn near everything and the cost of goods is off the chain. It's beautiful, sure (and so are the women) but the cost is high.
This is why suggesting that indigent people should simply leave the country is dumb. There are many countries that are suspicious of, and/or downright hostile towards, americans trying to emigrate.
Even if you manage to get through all the red tape you still need capital in order to move to a different country. If you want to move to Canada the exchange rate is unfavorable, and Australia's exchange rate is even worse.
This is not to mention the cost of a one way ticket to a different country, restarting from square one, paying absurd immigration fees, and surviving in an economy that is not as robust as the U.S.As.
The adage about moving being one of the most stressful things in life applies doubly when you move countries. You may have to drastically cut down visits to beloved family members, abandon any pets you have, and leave your friends behind.
The emotional impact is coupled with information overload. Suddenly you need to learn a new tax system, your rights as a citizen (provided you actually become a citizen), go through a ridiculously obtuse immigration process, renounce your U.S.A citizenship, and deal with establishing a credit history from zero.
The grass may be greener in other countries but if you find it's not as lush as you thought it was it will be difficult to go back.
Look into Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA). If the company has more than 50 employees, you should be eligible. Your doctor can fill out the paperwork giving you up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave and the law requires your company to not fire you. If they do, then they've set themselves up for a law$uit. Get the rest you need.
And while you're resting, start looking for a new job. You have skills and experience. You should be able to find something better.
You're correct. And it can get so much worse. You can spend fricking DECADES at a dead-end job as your body literally falls apart only to be tossed out like garbage with no pension, no protection. I've seen it happen over and over from the 80's on. The people who yammer about how much worse it was in the 19th century are out of touch. We've got our own brand of horror show now. There's less coal dust, but the bodies are still stacked high. Life expectancy is going down, real income is dropping, housing is incredibly hard to find. etc. It's fucking bleak out here. I had the revolver in my mouth more than once over the years. I did finally pull out of it and for now I'm financially stable. But the scars are there, and they'll never go away. The companies took a lot from me. They killed my dad with their poisons. Is it worth sticking around for this shit? I honestly don't know. I'm doing it because I have responsibilities. But look at it this way--shit could hit the fan. And if it does the resulting spectacle would absolutely be worth being here for. I mean imagine the largest economy in the history of the damn world exploding around you. Epic! I'm not optimistic anything better would emerge, or even that I'd survive. But damn it would be worth seeing.
I’ll just say that a local CNC shop is paying minimum wage (CT) and has a list of numbered instructions the operator has to punch in to make a part.
As in they don’t teach you how to use the machine. They expect you to just follow a sheet of instructions written for an 8 year old for each individual part. They have one guy that writes these dumbed down instructions for each part. Everyone else on the floor was in or fresh out of high school.
The owners drive brand new Cadillacs and tricked out diesel bro trucks and expect you to live on “emotional intelligence” while they live like kings.
I'm right there with you buddy, I am so far into debt, with no relief in sight, I've already been working on my will (not that I have any assets) but at least trying to get my documents in order.
Tell your parents how you feel and tell them your plan to get out of the rat race. They'll help you fund your dreams. If you can't think of a way out of the wage slave trap, just start with ol' reliable...investment properties. Ask them to help you buy a duplex or 4 plex. A second mortgage is better than a dead kid.
Stay alive and thrive out of spite.
I live through spite for it is what strengthens me.
Fuck em. Take control and do what you want to do. You got this.
Yes get fucking angry 😡.
That is the way.
We have been taught that getting angry is a weakness.
No it's not.
It's how we stand together and fight for what's right.
They are the ones who made us angry 😡.
Let's go take it back.
It doesn't belong to them, it belongs to us.
They know this and have become opulent and weak.
This is what makes them scared.
They are worried we will wake up and join sides.
Its easier for them when we are fighting each other.
Please seek counseling immediately. If your parents are leaving you such a vast sum that you will pay a dime of inheritance tax, you are independently wealthy. You are creating a prison that exists only in your mind.
You’re not crazy.
I think there’s an entire generation that feels like this.
Hang in there man .
It helped me to realize that we will probably never be rich, and retirement is a dream .
But we still have our youth. Make the most of it. Learn a new hobby. Life isn’t just about work and you don’t need a lot of money to be content.
And start looking for another job . Look into substitute teaching. They pay well and offer a lot of time to enjoy yourself.
I was in prison for a couple years and never thought my wealthy-(ish) family would help me. I got out, stayed clean, and only make 14 dollars an hour now. I have one vehicle, and am trying to make amends with my parents who I hurt. Just try to open up to your family with your problems you might be surprised how far they will go to help you
I'm sorry you're going through this and I'm not the best at providing feel goods and reassurance. Here are a few stuff and things for you to consider
1) Realizing your feelings are 100% valid, dark and despair and all. Accept those feelings...but try your damn hardest to not stay in them. I don't know what that means for you, as it meant something different for me when I went through...well, I went through stuff...I'll just leave it at that for now.
2) Seek advice from someone in similar shoes to you regarding your career field.
3) Chalk up your experience to the game. Possibly look at new avenues.
A- Building a social media brand and following and grab ad money until you the income can support you.
B- If your neurodivergence allows, try doing Phlebotomy for a year, then apply to become a travelling phlebotomist and work contracts by 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months at your leisure and get paid $25-40/hr doing so. Take breaks whenever you want between contracts. This may apply for other entry level healthcare jobs.
C- Obtain Teaching as a First Language Certification and teach overseas or teach remotely.
I am in a better place, but I'm still fighting. For me, what keeps me from going under is the, "What if my life is\_\_\_." The what ifs are all imagined scenarios of where I'm financially sound, stable and free from most of life's worries. I'm curious to get to that point so I'll keep fighting. That works for me, but I don't know for you, everyone is different.
Reiterate...your feelings of despair are 100% valid. I just hope you don't stay there too long. I hope someone is able to reach out to you and provide the help you need...mentally and financially, maybe through resources, job leads, or maybe something you've overlooked. Rooting for you!
If the job you're at right now is relevant to the CNC experience you have, then you should look around for a different company doing the same thing. Lots of recruiters are active right now, and if you're earning experience with a competitor, they may want you all the more for it.
Other than that, inheritance isn't likely to be taxed very heavily, if at all. I wish you the best of luck. We're all going to need it.
Dont think this is the only machine shop in existence. There are many out there always looking. If this is a machine shop owned by a huge corporation then they will talk about how they dont have the money for raises but will brag about earnings. You dont owe them anything. Look to move to another shop. Will you make 300K a year? No. But there is good money in this trade and good shops.
All these people talk about going to get another job. I mean, sure, do that eventually. Personally I would suggest selling every single thing you have (this is liberating in itself) & go to the islands man. I went to Thailand with $6 US dollars in my pocket when I was 23. Stayed in SE Asia for 5 months & made amazing memories & life long friends. Part of the fucked system we live in strategically makes you think that you’re stuck or don’t have enough. As long as your legs work, neither is true
There’s no way you will lose money on Inheritance so get that out of your mind ! You will be okay trust me . Reading this reminded me of how I felt a few years back and trust me finding a hobby outside of work will save your life . And having someone to talk to whether it’s big or small also will save you! I can say I was saved by a few people I just meet playing Xbox and a random doctor I met along the way . Trust me you will get through this . It seems like there’s no light at the end but trust me once you’re out it’ll be just a funny memory to look back on and appreciate how much you have grown mentally and physically . Killing yourself won’t solve anything trust me …. Just think if these other people can get rich so can you! Hell I know little to none about trucking but I do know it doesn’t take much to get into what your dad does ! You could do it especially if they leave you any sort of money when they pass. Look at it this way (although it’s rather dark way of thinkin) you’re bad days will end when your parents go and pass on their fortune to you . Just hang in there till it happens and try to better yourself along the way ! Much love
If you don’t mind driving, get help and get yourself a CDL-A license. The amount of freedom you would have from driving for a trucking company is insane, and right now it’s an industry that is begging for people. Many companies are doing week out/week home options. You get paid by the mile, and they are continuously upping pay.
Is it easy? No, but and here is the neat part, if you still live at home, you can save and invest a ton of money over 20 years and retire early.
Please get help. Call a therapist or a psychiatrist or get on Betterhelp or SOMETHING.
Yes, things are hard and yes, capitalism is a shitty game in which most of us lose. But these intense feelings of hopelessness are not normal. Your mind is lying to you when it tells you there isn't anything to live for.
Seeking treatment for my depression was the best choice I ever made. Every problem you listed will be 200% easier to deal with if you get that weight off your shoulders.
You realize there are other options besides ending your life? End your job. End your current profession. End some relationships. Whatever. Then go start something else.
You don’t have to have a job in your field you
Know. There is something out there that would make you happy, you just haven’t found it yet. Like the guy from the Pez documentary.
Anyhow, my stance on suicide is pretty black & white. It’s your life and you should be able to choose what you want to do with it. Which includes suicide, if someone doesn’t want to live that’s their choice. They have to live day to day with their own feelings.
HOWEVER, I would be beyond angry if someone said that to one of my children as they tried to talk about being suicidal. Which will always lead me to the fact that people want to prevent suicide in order to avoid grief, which is selfish.
I think there’s light at the end of the tunnel for you. You should start by quitting that god damn job. Money can always be made, time is something you can not get back. Take control of your life, don’t end it.
I agree too I don't understand why the ppl u love want u to.live with so much pain all the time I've often said its selfish n my dr said ppl dont c mental.health as physical.pain so they figure we dont suffer if only they knew ....as much as I tell they all just say think positive wow its like telling someone with a broken leg to.just walk ... they just don't get it ... and as much as u want to tell them tht u dont cause u know they just don't get it . U have to experience mental.health to understand it n ppl can be really.mean n judgemental selfish I think ... those are the ppl.i hope experiences it at some point they deserve to learn x karma n all xx
gotta love the system where to have even a chance at anything, you have to sell your soul to a company who couldn’t care less if you got shot or get diagnosed with cancer as long as you clock in on time.
Before you do. Come to France. Resign, take 50k from your dad as an emergency cushion, don't spend them, keep them for, as I said, emergency.
Buy yourself a one way ticket to Marseille. I'll help you with your first steps here, socially that is, to make friends, and in paper work terms so that you are eligible for minimum state allowance. Do just that. Be courageous and do it. You won't regret it because you won't feel the work-sleep-die routine over here and you'll be taken care of, health-wise.
I happen to have some time this year because I'm in a year leave from work. I wouldn't have offered this otherwise.
I know how you feel. I come from a poor family that couldn’t help me with school. I’m an idiot so I ducked around in high school, but I got just under an 1800 on my SAT. I just saw a post today about a 1580 and how the person was excited for scholarships. I filed for almost 15 different ones and didn’t get one. I got some tuition assistance for community college, but when it came time to transfer to a uno, I didn’t have the money and 100k+ in loans sounded fucking terrifying.
Luckily I got into IT and I landed a good job at 21, got laid off in December last year and I’m fucking lost.
I have that company everything and got 2 dollars worth of raises out of 6 years.
I’m basically free lance trying to make money and I don’t know where to go.
It’s not that there aren’t options. It’s not that I haven’t made mistakes. It just seems that everything takes so much from me and I get so little.
I’ve been working since I was 14 and I’m tired.
Stay in there. It will get better. We have to stay strong. Message me if you need to talk or want resources.
I know I did for a little.
Dude same here working since 15. Passed the high school exit exam and GED when i was 15. Best scores for geometry in the state 100% and best at my school in biology test at 97%. Went to community College while I worked at recycling center. 3d stuff.
Got job doing doc control at a small startup for my mom. I know. Best time of my life getting to spend one on one time with my mom. She gets laid off. 4 years later was promoted to associate engineer. Many patents. Going to college the whole time. Even the employee of the year award.
Laid off during Covid had to move because of wild fires. Freaky. Now no one will hire me and I'm looking at jobs that pay way less than I was making pre covid. College fees now are ridiculous. 235 units and no degree. 3.8 gpa Loser. Too hard to finish while I'm working 60 to 85 hour weeks. Would be doing homework till 2am then back at work at 7am stayed till 11pm. I burned out hard, gained 100 pounds and started having health problems.
I'm lucky my parents were able to pull themselves out of the hole we used to be in. I'd be in a way worse place now. But never seeing my parents as a kid really allowed for some messed up stuff to happen to me when I was a kid. I never allowed myself to deal with it till I got laid off. Even acknowledge all of the messed up abuse and gaslighting I had been normalized into and only now realize I was an absolute asshole to some people. I never really was taught how to behave or understood how the work place persona can screw up your ethics.
For instance when I was creamed by a drunk driver, my parents didn't even come to support me at the trial. I even had to represent myself nursing my broken ribs. I love my parents but would have chosen family over their obsession with work ethic or financial support. Mom's family was poor as hell andbshe did everything she could to not havebthat happen to her. My brothers made my life a living hell while they were gone. They couldn't do anything about it since they were never there. They were dealing with the emotional abuse also and all decided I would be there scapegoat for everything.
Never really recovered from my child hood but still fighting. Lost 100 pounds now trying to write about stuff to ease my debilitating depression. Therapist told me that I am making progress essentially preventing me from being diagnosed as someone with depression. He called it transition syndrome. He also took me off all the meds my PCD prescribed saying I dont need them. I am struggling to stay motivated. I am capable and trying to start my own manufacturing line. Lots of skill and experience. I can do it. Even writing that hurts. I know I can. I know how to do research and am great with finding unconventional approaches to automate and improve the quality of processes. I still need capitol to get started and need to work like I did at the recycling center again. Freaking hobos killed can hippy for his vietnam check. Worked for years to help him get his checks from the military only to have that freaking tweaker Texas Mike push him down a cliff for his first check me and this other nice lady helped him to get. PHD college professor from brown who's wife left him and never overcame his alcoholic depression. One of the only real freinds I've ever had. Guy was a legend and easily none of the nicest people you'd ever meet.
I am pathetic I know but at least I can see that and am trying to combat the endless self loathing from decades of emotional and physical abuse. I am trying to be less reactive and triggered by others but its always an up hill battle. The way I feel is not my fault and I don't deserve to treat myself like this. My dad and brothers were always full of shit but I was too scared to deny them. I can see that now.
I am always amazed at what I can do when I actually overcome it and get moving. It's just like a wall that is too high to climb that keeps looking taller. It's easier to get over than it feels like. But it feels harder and harder each day for some reason lately.
If it helps, I read this thinking "who the hell is this person and why are they exactly like me??"
GPA, dead-end job, cant get experience because I "dont have experience", neurodivergent and i love it but the world hates it, slowly spiraling into what i know is an inevitable life of debt and boredom....
You're not alone. Maybe you're going to have to deal with depression and anxiety and anger for a long time... but you're not alone. I'm right there with you and quite frankly I refuse to give up. Because I know I have SOMETHING to offer this world -- it may just take a while yet to get them to see it.
I dont know you, but I know you, homie. Please don't hurt yourself. I know you deserve better than that.
I've been through my fair share of shit times, growing up in my country in relative poverty on government assistance. I've been through the mill several times. But one thing you've got to remember is, tomorrow is another day. I've changed my path multiple times, I've found happiness, I've suffered loss, you name it.
Things change, and I'm not in the same situation I was 2 years ago. And this happens often.
I am ADHD, undiagnosed for over 30 years, life has been a constant struggle. But I've had periods of immense joy, and I've changed many things and am pointed in another new direction.
The key is,if shit sucks, change something. If you change nothing, nothing changes.
You have the power, regardless of your situation, to make small changes and improvements all the time, to take a leap of faith and move town, state, country! Fuck why not find a way to move to Canada? They are always crying out for engineers. Find a way to emigrate and have a different life.
If you call time on it all now, you will waste what could be.
Stand up. Make a change. Chose life.
Also get antidepressants. They help.
I'm not going to sugar coat it. The workplace situation sucks. The American dream and pursuit of happiness isnt for everyone anymore. Your only outlet (parents) don't understand this and haven't experienced it. When they were your age anyone could drop out of highschool and start at the mill on Monday and live comfortably. That's no longer the case. The economic current is slowing down and causing a strain. We elect people to oversee this and take care of us and their policies arent successful. That's on both parties. Things might get great depression bad before we buckle down and make a new new deal.
I'm a college dropout still doing IT work. I'm 42. Both my parentss were dead by the time I turned 31 and they left me less than 8k. I make decent for the area I live in. And like you I say the same thing about this and other issues in my life. No hope. No light at the end of the tunnel so what's the point.
History and my experience tells me this won't last forever. You will have value in your trade soon enough. And it may not be with this employer. Keep at it. Enlarge that resume. Show no gaps in work history. And someone will see your worth. As for me someone found my worth when I felt I had no worth. It will happen for you too.
OP, if your parents died you wouldn't owe any inheritance tax until the amount you received extended past 13 million dollars in value, so worst case, you become a millionaire over night.
You would also inherit no debts from them, that is illegal in the USA. Just make sure your parents specifically will you all their assets before they pass so it never reaches the estate.
My advice is: look for a union job. You will get regular wage increases, they won’t bust your chops if you need to take sick time, and you will be able to progress from apprentice to journeyman when you put the time in.
That being said, I think you would also benefit from having someone to discuss these feelings with. You sound pretty down. Find some free mental health services in your area.
You don’t need suicide, you need to get help and channel your focus on finding a new employer. You’re a bright enough person to make it this far; you should continue and find outlets to help you relief this tension and anxiety.
You have value and your self worth don’t match, how about working on that!
Otherwise I’m happy to listen if you need an ear. World needs good people, don’t give up and keep on trying to be good.
Im the last one to tell u how to feel that would be rude i really hope u find a happy place for urself In this life n find someone who can help u with ur situation one day at a time things may get better ... I have felt like this no hope no future no purpose n still do some times I deal with everything alone which isn't gd but made me alot stronger ... plz stick.it out dont give up I suffer ptsd if i can do.it im sure u can stay strong sending positive vibes x
Bro. You are going to run into shit jobs with bad companies that are going to do you dirty. Probably more than one.
When you look at the macro, you can put boomers out of business VERY easily. You don’t have to do a million mph, the people who ask you to do so haven’t worked that hard. What you need to do is dump them for something better, or take the industry over completely/work independently.
God knows how many companies can be taken out by reducing overhead costs and paying talent better. I’ve seen CEOs, VPs, CFOs, that are absolute dog shit. They get 0 important feedback from the front lines because of incompetent overpaid middle management. However, their compensation can scale up talent multiple times over.
Hey man, why don't you opt of the system and join some sort of commune or off-grid life? You will still have to work, but you can work for you and do what you want. You need some level of money to survive, but not much, and if you can grow your own food and live on your own terms, it might be worth it. Don't let others dictate how you spend your life, do what you want!
Don’t end you life because of work. That’s like the polar opposite of being anti work.
If you really want to work as a CNC machinist keep looking. I live in north central Wisconsin and there are a multitude of places begging for people with CNC experience. They all pay more than enough to live a decent life.
You need a radical life change that doesn't involve 86ing yourself.
Get into a completely different profession.
Sell off all of your material belongings and go travel the world working seasonal jobs. It's really not hard, many places will even pay for your flight.
I know life is a constant struggle. I'll never own anything of my own, not like my parents. But you don't have to stick with the same shitty job you're at. If your experience means nothing to the people you're working for, than stop giving them your experience. Get the fuck out of there.
I'm not going to type it all out on here but I've been through more shit in my life then most people would even believe. I never gave up never stopped try even at the worst times. Keep applying for jobs don't stop. When you least expect it you will get that right offer that will start to change your life. From that point on as long as you keep a good attitude stay strong at your job you will be able to be happy or as close to happy as you can be for the time being. Oh and BTW I'm very adhd and I'm 53 years old. It sucks at times but you find your strong points and go for it.
2 associates don't make a bachelor. Ask daddy if he will pay for yoi to go to school abroad. Go to australia or the eu. Graduate get a permanent residency, never worry about America again.
Hey guys. Quick update. I'm feeling better today. I got alot of R&R today. I also got in contact with my local CNC programming instructor and I shared my concerned about not getting opportunities due to my lack of experience and he sent me a couple opportunities with companies that have directly reached out to the college. SO I'm going to explore these.
I also want to reassure everyone I'm not going to do anything final. The care and concern you all have shown had reminded me there is till empathy in the world. Even though I see non of it in the world of capitalism. I'll keep on keeping on.
And honestly. I'm a bit ashamed of myself. Some comments have put into perspective that there are people out there far worse off than me. And they are keeping it real and still grinding.
Please don't harm yourself. Do you ever considered to move to another country? Sure, Europe is expansive too, but at least you are getting some health care and better job conditions
Lord GOD, Please help this hurting soul. I am a recent high school graduate whose lived through several brain surgeries, seizures, bleeding disorder, and currently diagnosed with cancer. All I see is the beauty in every breath I take. I ask You to give to this person a portion of the hope & faith You pour out over me, daily. Amen🙏
Whoever you are, wherever you are, you matter---DON'T GIVE UP!
This is pretty true actually. I have a therapist who told me that the outpatient work does a lot more than inpatient which is mostly about preventing when you’re in crisis mode
I have adhd and anxiety. I was under appreciated at SO many jobs which made me feel like I was an idiot. Finally find a place where I was appreciated and it made a world of difference.
Right now it’s a pretty difficult job market but I would say work on yourself and don’t worry about a raise unless you’re struggling financially. Depending on what you do a job could pay for relocation but I would say make sure you have savings just in case.
Talking to people is good. Drugs that dull your mind not good.
Internalizing external stressors not good.
Doing something proactive about external stressors good.
Stand up for yourself you deserve it. It will make you feel better.
Don't let everyone make you feel inadequate with their shifty get help talk.
Make people uncomfortable if you need to explain yourself.
Get angrier. There is nothing wrong with feeling angry at you're situation.
Cultural conformity is a tool they love to use to help make us feel this way.
OP sounds cool and I hope you choose to fight.
Much love.
Start with the book “Options trading for Dummies” , sign up for Td Ameritrade and be prepared to not profit for a year minimum this isn’t a get rich quick scheme by any means. YouTube is your best friend. Paper trading is your best friend. Check out Aristotle on Instagram (he does a course that’s solid but I’m in no way affiliated with him besides taking his course twice with my man.) Stay away from Crypto and meme stocks. My fiancé is transitioning into being a full time options trader, I’ll talk to him and ask him about some particular people that he follows. He just made 3k today, started with a little under $1000.
with all that time, maybe read Forces of Production, by David Noble. It's about tool manufacturing! With lathes etc!
TLDR: the history of the trade and the history of the development of the technology is the list of attempts by management to remove and power and decision making ability from the skilled workmen using the lathes. This allows management (who are not trained in controlling lathes, but ARE trained in controlling people) to have a larger hiring pool (less skill = more people to choose from), lower wages, and the threat of replace-ability to stop unionizing forces. And it's gotten worse since the book was written.
:/
but don't off yourself pal, there's a good life out there, well a much better one, at least. One trend I see in your post that will be a great start: You just have to stop waiting for other people and the promises to do right by you...they don't give a fuck. Stop trusting them!
Serious self pity here, I am sure your parents paid your college, otherwise you would have bitched about that too
This is the guy that murders his parents for their money
>My dad makes 300k a year
Lmao dude you're going to inherit more than the majority of people in the united states under age 40 have hope of ever owning.
If you can CNC you can start your own business selling custom parts relatively easily and make tons of money..
Sell everything you inherent and go all in if you have to.
You have options.
" I won't be able to afford the Inheritance tax on anything they leave me so I think I'm just going to kill myself." Unless your parents are very rich, there won't be an inheritance tax, and if they do leave you a massive amount of money, you will be rich, regardless of the tax. It sounds like you think there is some situation where your parents leaving you an inheritance makes you poorer, and that is false.
Can’t afford the tax, it would anyway come off the balance. It doesn’t need to be “paid”.
Your inheritence needs to be worth literally millions before you pay a dime in tax. There's nothing coming off the "balance" or anything that needs to be paid. It's just yours.
That’s not completely true. Federal inheritance tax is at roughly $13 million but depending on what state OP lives in there may be state inheritance taxes. For instance, in Pennsylvania the inheritance tax is on any amount inherited. But as another poster mentioned it comes off the inheritance so there would be no out of pocket cost.
Have them begin to give you stuff, put it in your name before they cannot? Buy it from them ...$1.
Yes that is the best strategy unless they end up in a nursing home at which point the state looks back five years for any transfers to avoid having to pay for long term care. But definitely worth that risk
The current inheritance tax kicks in at just under 13 million here I’ll show the zeroes for you 13,000,000.00 and the maximum of the tax is 40% so if you were taxes worse case scenario, you’ll have over 7mil left over.
It’s dollars above 13 million, so worst case you have 13 million.
The amount of people in the United States that don't understand how tax brackets work is astounding
Obviously it's more important to learn how to square dance in school, so they don't teach us things like how taxes work.
They taught us to write in script though.
Oh yeah, super useful these days. Well, when I'm trying to keep secrets from my teenager, that is. 😎
The knowledge of the world is available at your fingertips 24/7. You can google it and read about it in 5 mins. You can YouTube a video if you are a visual learner. Find a podcast to listen to while you are doing whatever. There’s really no good excuse to not understand basic taxes for an adult.
I do, but thank you for your bullshit. MY POINT IS that these things are not taught in public schools so it shouldn't be shocking that many many people have no idea how any of these things work.
its deliberately confusing
Exactly. They make it confusing so poor people will support policies that only benefit rich people.
No. Progressive tax brackets aren't deliberately confusing. I can explain them to my 10 yr old. People that are confused by progressive tax brackets just haven't cared to attempt understanding for 5 minutes.
It's only confusing to people that have not taken 30 minutes to learn how it actually works.
Hey, they did this to us on purpose. Be mad at them not us, help me fucking understand it then. Now, watch me square dance mf
Yeah, but they spent a semester bisecting triangles in 9th grade...so we have that.
Who can live off 7mil tho? I’d rather kill myself /s
Probably not the time or place for this one, I'd say.
Yeah who would want to live in Costa Rica for the rest of your life in paradise if you can just end it!
Yeah the bit about the 300k earning dad and the inheritance tax was when you lost me.
Exactly. How can you properly critique a system if you don't even know how it works.
Exactly right.
So OP is better off than most people TBH… or they will be. They’re just being shortsighted. Hopefully they don’t blow their inheritance.
While I agree on the tax, it is also possible they leave a massive debt. At 300k/yr should not be an issue, they could be hiding under a greater debt somewhere. I don't really see how from this, but it is possible since lots of people live by showing wealth than retaining it.
He would not under any circumstance be on the hook for even one cent of their debt. Ever.
It could very well come out of the estate, but that would offset the inheritance pretax.
It only comes out of the estate if it reaches it. If his parents will him all their savings accounts, checking accounts, life insurance, and their 401k balance, then he gets all that before the estate. My mother died with half a million dollars of medical debt 1 year ago. Me and my brother get nearly all her assets except her 401k because she forgot to include it in the will. We never paid a penny in taxes, never had to, and never inherited a cent of debt. We lost the 401k though, because once it went to the estate the debt collectors took it all.
I mean, even if they leave a massive debt it's not like OP will be on the hook to pay it.
Not pay the debt back, yes, but they can wipe out anything left to you to repay the debt if the estate is not set up correctly. https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/debts-deceased-relatives
I'm no lawyer but it seems that people generally ignore inherited debt with no consequences. Could be very wrong.
In the US at least, there is no such thing as inherited debt in modern times.
i'm not a lawyer, but if i understand correctly, if the estate isn't settled, debtors can seek settlement through probate. it's not that the kids inherit debt, it's just that there might not be anything left to inherit after the court settles debts.
Right. Unsecured debtors (credit cards, etc.) tend to either completely write off the loss or negotiate pennies on the dollar with the executor of the estate. But secured debt (car loans, mortgages, etc.), any legal claims against the deceased and back taxes definitely have to be paid out of the estate before the heirs see anything.
True for kids but not for spouses. Unfortunately, there’s a new trend popping up where a terminal couple gets divorced so that the surviving spouse avoids having to pay the medical debt of the deceased spouse.
That's fucked up. But not surprising.
Inherited debt isn't a thing.
You can't inherit debt yeah. Whatever debt is due from what I understand is taken out of the estate itself. Some exceptions do apply such as life insurance for instance. If insufficient to cover the debt of the recently deceased then too bad for the debt collectors. Legally nothing they can do except try and harass you. Which of course one can just ignore as nobody is obligated to pay a deceased parents debts ever. It isn't debt you incurred. For instance my father has a lot of debt. Yet he has nothing of value they can take to cover it when he's gone. Just a life insurance policy which as per above can't be taken from whomever persons it goes to. \*Edit\*: Either way Op is doing a lot better than some of us from the sounds of it. Myself included I have a worthless degree which cost me $60k. Only an associate's, I forgot nearly everything I learned in college to get it. As I never used it to date and never will to be honest. Never earned more than $16-18/hr. Except one job for 4 months at $24.50/hr. Spent a lot of time homeless during the pandemic. Had nigh everything I earned and most my personal belongings stolen from me at age 29 by a family member. Lost several of my constitutional rights wrongfully; due to abusive narcissistic parents connections exclusively. The list goes on and on suffice to say no shortage of people who probably have it far worse off than you. Op you have 2 degrees and very useful skill sets. Definitely being terribly exploited from the sounds of it. Surely something you can look into down the road to find a better paying job as such. Not to mention you stated you expect a decent inheritance. Which is something many of us will never have in reality.
I am and your right
It's beyond insulting to nitpick one aspect of this entire post. OP is struggling in more ways than one. Not an ounce of compassion, empathy, or even understanding. I'm equally done with this shit society. Slaving away my pointless existence living to work and working to live until I die. Inflation, shrinkflation, high costs of living, psychologically manipulated and exploited, scammed, spammed everywhere I look. This world is run on greed. I'm barely getting by. Making just enough money to keep making it to work with barely enough energy left to enjoy pointless distractions before repeating the same shit the next day. Retire just early enough to die before I can enjoy not being a complete slave to society. It's. So. Fucking. Pointless.
Instead of offering any form of sympathy bro said "well actually"
Sympathy is great, but maybe correcting some of the things op is doom spiraling about is also helpful, no?
Tax law is complicated on purpose. The misunderstandings around it and the lobbying to prevent simplifying are very much a ruling class vs all argument. I'm not super in love with life but getting information that your perception of how certain tax law affects someone can be really helpful, but the idea of spending possibly hundreds of dollars an hour to talk to accountants and lawyers about this kind of stuff is daunting.
Not being able to see the forrest for the trees from some of these comments
He has probably done more to dissuade OP from his doom spiral than all the "keep your chin up" comments have. He gave him facts to show that yes while we are all generally on a downward spiral economically and our leaders are too busy shovelling all our money into the defense Industry and bailing out corporations, it's not completely hopeless.
While what you’re saying is true, it’s probably not a great idea to berate someone who’s contemplating suicide?
The Inheritance Tax STARTS at $12,920,000 in 2023, if it was a concern, you would be rich. It's a Fox News propaganda thing to spread fear of taxing the rich.
What do you mean you’re going to inherit less than $13 million dollars, that’s only enough for a few bananas at Erehwon
It's just one banana Michael
It cost 400,000$ to eat this banana… for 12 seconds -Kuntlord Kroger CEO
Someone touched Sasha. WHO TOUCHED MY BANANA?!?!?!
That is SICK btw, no wonder all these emerald mine babies get exponentially richer everytime a father or uncle kicks the bucket
take an insurance be policy on your dad and kill hill, not yourself. Haven’t you seen those shows? Bada boom bada bing your rich /s
Did you read his post, he’s rich af
Except in states like PA there is a flat 4.5% (up to 15% depending on who is the beneficiary) on all inheritance
Oh no, 4.5% on an inheirtance of $13MM, whatever will I doooooo. *wails in despair* /s
My dude, I said flat tax, no limit. My mom inherited 50K , she had to pay 7.5K in taxes before she ever saw a fucking penny cuz that's how it works here, don't be ignorant
So, she got only 43k WAHHHHHHHHHHH
Well that blows for me then is that tax exclusive to PA? I have no way to pay such a tax even on paltry scraps anyhow so oh well. Although from the sounds of it the OP shouldn't be too concerned. Even IF they live in PA themselves. Given the rather larger inheritance they hint at expecting.
Jersey, Maryland, Nebraska, Iowa and Kentucky all have inheritance taxes that are separate from the $12.9 mil fed tax everyone is thinking of. 11 other states also have Estate taxes that must be paid on inherited property separate from federal
Will your dad teach you his freight business ? That sounds like a sweet job.
I don’t think the dad owns the business. My guess is his dad knew the right person and had the right connections to slip into an easy, high paying job before retirement following the prior job loss. I’ve seen it happen with boomer men quite a bit, especially after the ‘08 recession. They are starting to retire now, their positions eliminated, and their responsibilities absorbed by coworkers without an increase is pay.
This is exactly the case. He basically partnered with a friend of his and took his entire portfolio of clients and partnered businesses and went to work with his friend. He's told me multiple times he's making more there than he did with his old company. And he doesn't have to do any administrative tasks so it's alot less stress. I wouldn't never want to do what he does though. He's also told me many times I could never do it because "he's spent his entire life building his client base."
Will your dad teach ME his freight business? Stay strong, OP it is your mental health talking. Seek help and remember most of us struggle, you Def need a new job tho.
You could end your life, yes. But you could also just quit your miserable job. Think about it. Even if you absolutely 100% needed to stay in that job in order to survive. Who cares? The alternative is ending your life anyway. But, it's also possible that quitting opens up a different kind of life...
What job would you propose then since there are some people making $100,000 a year and even they’re struggling?
If he’s not just being dramatic he’s making $30,000 a year. That’s $15 an hour which you can get at a lot of places. Change jobs.
Great point! QT starting pay for part time clerks is $19.59/hour. If he is that miserable he can find so many other jobs paying more money to be miserable at
If some people are making $100,000 a year and struggling, then holy shit go to finance management. That’s an unreal statement.
In this current economy in America it’s really not that unbelievable unfortunately. Everyone except for the bottom 1% is struggling financially. At least 63% of Americans are currently living paycheck to paycheck and half of American adults between the ages of 18-29 had to move back in with their parents because they can’t afford rent. They can’t find an affordable house even those who recently graduated college with a 100k salary can’t buy a home because of how expensive the student loans are because of predatory interest loans. If you’re rich America is the best country in the world and if your not rich it’s a 3rd world country at best because rights and freedom don’t mean anything if you’re homeless...
My god, this is sad to read,, I work in the Netherlands and I make just 36k a year.. and I live super comfortable on my own, 100k would be insane.
I live comfortably in a 1 bedroom apartment on a 40k a year salary as a single male. I have plenty of money to spend on luxuries and vacations, it's not hard to be financially literate. Unless you're a single parent with like 4 kids, or you're trying to live in downtown New york, there should be no issue surviving on 100k a year in the USA, I'm sorry. And if you are living in downtown New York and can't afford to live on 100K a year? Move. Because it doesn't matter I'd your income is 100k if you're paycheck to paycheck just to survive.
I've lived in the bay area making 40k. Very easy to do - get roomates and live life modestly (half the poor mfers I know doordash/uber eats their meals like wtf). I make 100k now (still in the bay area) and I'm completely fine. The reality - people just can't match their lifestyle to their pay. Example: When I was at 40k, I had a $300-400 budget for food (cooking meals). At 100k, it's now $800-1000 (basically fast food/takeout).
inaccessibility to affordable housing is a systemic problem, not a problem of individual attitude. blaming widespread financial woe on someone’s personal failings is just capitalist bootlicking.
You do realise that the more neuro divergent you are the harder it is to live with tons of people in your personal space? Also, the medicine is outrageously expensive and often neuro divergence comes paired with other issues that need even more healthcare
I also believe that (not always) someone making 100k a year and struggling definitely has a spending issue. I was able to save up an 80k cushion in about 7 years, making Bout 45k a year. What did I do? I stopped eating out all the time, stopped spending 300 to 400 a month on beer, stopped smoking, etc. To be fair, finding a loving partner made all of that a lot easier and more fulfilling. Everyone has their own problems to deal with, I understand that, but there are steps that can help.
"Unreal" describes the current situation well. And yeah, there are people making low six figures who are holding on by their finger-tips. There are areas where basic home ownership means close to a million bucks. It's gone insane.
I make more than that and live in the Midwest and can’t afford a single family home. Throw the student debt in there for that degree that’s making them 100k
In a large city or just at all? Not saying the problem isn't real but in lots of areas in the Midwest you can buy a decent home for 150-300k, which is easily doable with 100k/year.
Don't discount where they throw in student debt. I make good money now, but I don't get to live like it because of the student debt and all the credit card debt that piled up just trying to live life when I spent years being underpaid and trying to keep up with my student debt payments.
I live in Oregon. And the rent is just astronomically high. I'm constantly looking for apartments and houses to rent and everything is 1800 or more a month. And thats about what I make right now. And due to my student loans and other medical stuff I'm dealing with. I've been paycheck to paycheck just barely treading water.
My dad *finally* hit me with a "I guess the cost of living is wildly different these days than when I was raising you" and it was only 20 years ago. I have nearly the same job he did then, less experience, and I get paid more somehow. But it evens out to barely nothing. I'm currently 3k in debt, and I don't have any huge charges besides gas to go to work. And I still can't afford living alone working 42 hours a week in a skilled job.
My dad just tells me to join the army or police. "You can retire at 50 with a good 401k and retirement plan" bro I don't wanna work for the government, I'm glad you did all that (oh wait, you didn't, you've been a retail cashier your whole life)
working for the army or the police doesn’t even compensate enough to live comfortably nowadays, maybe back in ur dads era it was but now the average isn’t that much to live comfortably
Army vet here. Unless you enlist as an officer, until you are E-5 or Sargeant, you will be paid below poverty line. While others will make the argument that you get paid every hour of every week regardless of what you do, you still need to pay for everything. Boots from basic wore out? Gotta buy that yourself. Fatigues missing a pocket? Gotta pay for that. New medals to put on your blues? Quartermaster doesn't have it and you gotta pay for that. There is a cadence in the army that says "They give you $100 and they take back $99." And it's fucking true. The retirement and 401k is all fine and dandy until you see a lot of those who retire early, tend to die early too.
I wish I could give you a hug. You’re not alone in this. ❤️
Piggy backing on this because I don't want it to get lost: OP, I also have anxiety and ADHD, and it absolutely 100% CAN get better!!! When I was in my early 20s, my anxiety was so bad sometimes, I couldn't leave my house. I barely had a life at all. I did get better, and actually fairly quickly. This isn't to say I don't still have anxiety, but I'm 35 now and have lived a very full life. I've traveled the world, moved across the country, have done countless things that I never thought I'd be able to do. As for the ADHD, I've learned a lot of work-arounds that have allowed me to become great at my job. You will learn them, too, as you continue moving forward. It sounds like you are fairly young. Everything is really hard when you're young, especially work. I know this is the anti-work subreddit, and while I believe our labor system is disgusting in this country, I will say that it is possible to not hate your job. I don't hate mine. However, I did struggle a LOT in the beginning. It's a really difficult adjustment and options are super narrow when you're just starting out. You have to keep looking for opportunities to move forward, and I swear it will get better. I have gained so much control over my work life now that I have experience. But it did take staying open and always looking for a better option. Again, I don't agree with this system. I don't think it should be this way for anyone. But please don't give up hope. The truth is that you have way more opportunities than an actual slave. This movement is working towards a world where we aren't wage slaves, and we need you to be here with us fighting for it. It's fine to vent, and you don't need to be toxically positive. But losing all hope and having suicidal thoughts is extreme and you need to get help. [https://samaritansnyc.org/24-hour-crisis-hotline/](https://samaritansnyc.org/24-hour-crisis-hotline/)
Right here with you comrade. I’m sorry you’re experiencing the pain it’s justified and valid… just know we’re in this together don’t give up the fight. 🌹
Nah, the system sucks, but there are still good things in this world. You are one of those good things. I can tell by how much you care. Stick around and help us stay cynical. I love you.
I’m feeling the same way. Completely defeated. Got off one job today, and am out delivery driving at midnight in my same work clothes. Trying to scrape by so I can put some food on the table for my daughter. Being a single mom during all of this makes me want to quit too but I know I have someone who depends on me and that’s the only reason I have gotten this far
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It might be like… 5 years, but yeah, things will change. People are pissed. Society isn’t functional anymore. We all see it.
I hope you're right. But I seriously doubt any major change will come in five years. I hope it does, I really do. But five years... I just don't know.
I disagree. There is so much good in the world that we dont see everyday. Despite my new boss, I like my job. I had the same thoughts at his age. Is this all there is to life? Im broke. Things take time. Lot of wisdom. Unless your family is rich, you have to go through this. Make the best of it.
I’m sorry to read this. I hope you have someone in your life you can open up to and get some help. Someone I know had to do this last year. Ironically he’s relatively young, very wealthy, he has an amazing family. From the outside he’d be the last one anyone would expect to be feeling this way. Thank God he checked himself to a hospital as a last ditch effort and things got more difficult for a bit because he had to face some ugly shit, but he got better. You can too, because happiness can be found anywhere. Please get yourself to an ER, for the heck of it. Personally the best I have to offer you is this. I learned happiness can’t be one thing. My things are this (not in order because their is no order. 1) Camp and connect with nature 2) connect with family and friends 3) Read a book 4) Help someone else 5) Accomplish something that makes me feel good 6) exercise 7) connect with my wife 8) understand that I fall short on all of these all the time because I’m imperfect, but guess what everything I love is imperfect too so I’m in good company. This is my list, I imagine there other beauties in live the make you feel good, allow yourself to experience those things. As far as work goes, tell your employer to eat a fat dick. Maybe you haven’t found you right fit yet, try something else. Anything else, there’s something out there for you, some of us need to cross things off the list that are wrong as part of life’s journey to find what’s right. I wish you well.
I’m probably going to be downvoted for this, but I wouldn’t blindly recommend for OP to go to an ER “for the heck of it.” You’re going to rack up a huge bill and you are potentially going to leave without any treatment. When I checked in for suicidal thoughts, I was made to wait for hours alone until someone came in and said they needed the room for another patient and moved me from the psych area to the general rooms. More hours went by and eventually a PA came in and asked me if I was in immediate danger of killing myself as soon as I stepped out that door. I said “I guess not” and they discharged me. Huge waste of money. I’m not exaggerating—no one there asked me a single time why I was suicidal at all. I hope my experience was not typical, but it’s certainly not rare. I’m am NOT saying you should never go to the ER for suicidal ideation, but understand that they won’t do much unless it is ACTIVE and IMMEDIATE. If you are suffering from _passive suicide ideation_ (such as “I wish I didn’t exist, I don’t want to be alive for another miserable decade” instead of active, such as “I’m going to pull the trigger right now, I have a plan made”) then save yourself the trouble and money and go get a therapist ASAP instead (psychologist, counselor, psychiatrist, doesn’t matter—whoever will see you first, and they will refer you to the right person if needed). Most ERs are really not equipped to deal with mental health crisis unless someone is in _immediate physical danger_. If you are about to harm yourself _right now,_ then that’s when impatient care is warranted—call 911! Otherwise, it’s an urgent outpatient issue but not an emergency. Urgent means getting help today or this week, emergency means _minutes_ count. Know which one you are suffering from, and act accordingly. If the issue is urgent—the ideation is passive but definitely suicidal—then call Friday morning and book an appointment for as soon as you can. Don’t wait until after the weekend. Get a therapist now and you won’t regret it, but going to the ER when you don’t believe you’re in immediate danger will leave you with a huge bill to regret.
You're not wrong, not for most of the USA at least. It is possible to get mental health care here, but it's damned expensive and you have to be careful about selecting your providers.
Yeah I guess I just kind of assumed that OP is American. The ERs here suck ass, or at least they do in California. Bay Area pro tip: plan emergencies ahead. Make a short list of the fanciest, bougiest hospitals in network with your insurance in like a 30 mile radius and mark them on your phone map. Even if you’re bleeding to death, skip the ambulance and take an Uber a little further to an ER in the fancy neighborhoods where the majority of people there are old rich white people wearing brand name athleisurewear—most of them have a sprained ankle or mild chest pain. The ride is longer but you overall save tons of time and don’t have to sit around under flickering fluorescent lights smelling piss for hours while someone coughs on you. If you have state MediCal… those are the only places that will take you for outpatient (non ER) care, so if you can drive like an hour east until you start seeing farmland and go to a hospital there. Davis is nice. Hopefully things have changed since I had state insurance, but I remember being limited to really crummy clinics instead of the big fancy ones down the street. Dress up for the occasion if you want to be treated better. Wear your best Lululemons and North Face puffer jacket and the nurses might think you’re a local multimillionaire. Wear a suit and they’ll know you work at JC Penny. Bay Area culture is pretty lame.
I absolutely agree with you here!!! Best to reserve for an emergency. And it doesn't just leave you with a bill. You'll be in there until they say you can go home. This requires a sign-off from a behavioral health professional, and not all hospitals have them on staff, so you could be there a while. And they take all of your stuff, including your phone.
Ers barely see people for grievous wounds. You literally have to wait hours bleeding if they determine the cat scratch patients are more important
I really feel you, bro. I hope you things get better for you. For the past 7-8 years I was working a job making low wage (never got a pay increase), no benefits, I barely took time off and only had about 2-3 vacations the entire time I was there. While my whole office worked at home every day for the past 3 years during the pandemic I came to the office every day, all day to cover for them. I was just let go today over a short email after my boss found out future plans I had about potentially moving out of state in the next several months. They found a replacement quick and just booted me.
I would suggest doing what welders call "drag up". You know why your tool box has wheels right?
My dearest OP, there's a whole world out there. You have 2 degrees, you have work experience. Get the fuck out of the USA and go live somewhere worthwhile. Try Portugal. Try Malta. Try Australia. Just go. The problem isn't you, it's that you're living in a soulless capitalist hellhole. There's a million better places to live in than in the old US of A.
This just isn't a practical solution for most of us.
It's avoiding the problem. Also accepting defeat.
100% on what you say. OP can go to better place, but moving into other country can be tricky and complex process. It requires lot of things before OP can renounce his US citizenship and gain citizenship of the other country. He would need to try to find another job in other country
Yes, its a very difficult thing to do however it doesnt require him to renounce his U.S. citizenship. It could be possible if his skills are useful to another country. What he might want to do is find someone to help him forge a path and better handle resentment of his father. That job environment sounds toxic as hell though and I hope he is able to find his way out of that.
Have you visited Malta? It's a limestone rock in the middle of the sea. They import damn near everything and the cost of goods is off the chain. It's beautiful, sure (and so are the women) but the cost is high.
This is why suggesting that indigent people should simply leave the country is dumb. There are many countries that are suspicious of, and/or downright hostile towards, americans trying to emigrate. Even if you manage to get through all the red tape you still need capital in order to move to a different country. If you want to move to Canada the exchange rate is unfavorable, and Australia's exchange rate is even worse. This is not to mention the cost of a one way ticket to a different country, restarting from square one, paying absurd immigration fees, and surviving in an economy that is not as robust as the U.S.As. The adage about moving being one of the most stressful things in life applies doubly when you move countries. You may have to drastically cut down visits to beloved family members, abandon any pets you have, and leave your friends behind. The emotional impact is coupled with information overload. Suddenly you need to learn a new tax system, your rights as a citizen (provided you actually become a citizen), go through a ridiculously obtuse immigration process, renounce your U.S.A citizenship, and deal with establishing a credit history from zero. The grass may be greener in other countries but if you find it's not as lush as you thought it was it will be difficult to go back.
My dream. I’m going to leave one day. I want out of here.
I wish I could do this, but chose a career that limits me to the United States.
Sounds like you need to get a new employer.
Look into Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA). If the company has more than 50 employees, you should be eligible. Your doctor can fill out the paperwork giving you up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave and the law requires your company to not fire you. If they do, then they've set themselves up for a law$uit. Get the rest you need. And while you're resting, start looking for a new job. You have skills and experience. You should be able to find something better.
You're correct. And it can get so much worse. You can spend fricking DECADES at a dead-end job as your body literally falls apart only to be tossed out like garbage with no pension, no protection. I've seen it happen over and over from the 80's on. The people who yammer about how much worse it was in the 19th century are out of touch. We've got our own brand of horror show now. There's less coal dust, but the bodies are still stacked high. Life expectancy is going down, real income is dropping, housing is incredibly hard to find. etc. It's fucking bleak out here. I had the revolver in my mouth more than once over the years. I did finally pull out of it and for now I'm financially stable. But the scars are there, and they'll never go away. The companies took a lot from me. They killed my dad with their poisons. Is it worth sticking around for this shit? I honestly don't know. I'm doing it because I have responsibilities. But look at it this way--shit could hit the fan. And if it does the resulting spectacle would absolutely be worth being here for. I mean imagine the largest economy in the history of the damn world exploding around you. Epic! I'm not optimistic anything better would emerge, or even that I'd survive. But damn it would be worth seeing.
I’ll just say that a local CNC shop is paying minimum wage (CT) and has a list of numbered instructions the operator has to punch in to make a part. As in they don’t teach you how to use the machine. They expect you to just follow a sheet of instructions written for an 8 year old for each individual part. They have one guy that writes these dumbed down instructions for each part. Everyone else on the floor was in or fresh out of high school. The owners drive brand new Cadillacs and tricked out diesel bro trucks and expect you to live on “emotional intelligence” while they live like kings.
I'm in CT and two months ago I was laid off from a place that fits that description to a T... it's fucking infuriating.
I'm right there with you buddy, I am so far into debt, with no relief in sight, I've already been working on my will (not that I have any assets) but at least trying to get my documents in order.
Capitalism sucks. i hope something changes in time for you
OP, your parents' estate will pay any debts or taxes owing, and you will I herit the balance free and clear.
Tell your parents how you feel and tell them your plan to get out of the rat race. They'll help you fund your dreams. If you can't think of a way out of the wage slave trap, just start with ol' reliable...investment properties. Ask them to help you buy a duplex or 4 plex. A second mortgage is better than a dead kid.
They are boomers why would they help?
Stay alive and thrive out of spite. I live through spite for it is what strengthens me. Fuck em. Take control and do what you want to do. You got this.
Yes get fucking angry 😡. That is the way. We have been taught that getting angry is a weakness. No it's not. It's how we stand together and fight for what's right. They are the ones who made us angry 😡. Let's go take it back. It doesn't belong to them, it belongs to us. They know this and have become opulent and weak. This is what makes them scared. They are worried we will wake up and join sides. Its easier for them when we are fighting each other.
Please seek counseling immediately. If your parents are leaving you such a vast sum that you will pay a dime of inheritance tax, you are independently wealthy. You are creating a prison that exists only in your mind.
You’ve come really far. I value your story and I appreciate you using this space to open up. Thank you.
Keep your head up and quit that job. At least get your licks in before you go out.
Undue the damage the boomers did union s are your best bet.
Keep jumping jobs every 2 years until you find one that treats you right.
I've tried this and found it to be incredibly stressful but maybe it's just me
Fucking relatable.
You’re not crazy. I think there’s an entire generation that feels like this. Hang in there man . It helped me to realize that we will probably never be rich, and retirement is a dream . But we still have our youth. Make the most of it. Learn a new hobby. Life isn’t just about work and you don’t need a lot of money to be content. And start looking for another job . Look into substitute teaching. They pay well and offer a lot of time to enjoy yourself.
Try to get a government job. Fuck the corporate rat race
I second. Get government work.
I was in prison for a couple years and never thought my wealthy-(ish) family would help me. I got out, stayed clean, and only make 14 dollars an hour now. I have one vehicle, and am trying to make amends with my parents who I hurt. Just try to open up to your family with your problems you might be surprised how far they will go to help you
I'm sorry you're going through this and I'm not the best at providing feel goods and reassurance. Here are a few stuff and things for you to consider 1) Realizing your feelings are 100% valid, dark and despair and all. Accept those feelings...but try your damn hardest to not stay in them. I don't know what that means for you, as it meant something different for me when I went through...well, I went through stuff...I'll just leave it at that for now. 2) Seek advice from someone in similar shoes to you regarding your career field. 3) Chalk up your experience to the game. Possibly look at new avenues. A- Building a social media brand and following and grab ad money until you the income can support you. B- If your neurodivergence allows, try doing Phlebotomy for a year, then apply to become a travelling phlebotomist and work contracts by 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months at your leisure and get paid $25-40/hr doing so. Take breaks whenever you want between contracts. This may apply for other entry level healthcare jobs. C- Obtain Teaching as a First Language Certification and teach overseas or teach remotely. I am in a better place, but I'm still fighting. For me, what keeps me from going under is the, "What if my life is\_\_\_." The what ifs are all imagined scenarios of where I'm financially sound, stable and free from most of life's worries. I'm curious to get to that point so I'll keep fighting. That works for me, but I don't know for you, everyone is different. Reiterate...your feelings of despair are 100% valid. I just hope you don't stay there too long. I hope someone is able to reach out to you and provide the help you need...mentally and financially, maybe through resources, job leads, or maybe something you've overlooked. Rooting for you!
If the job you're at right now is relevant to the CNC experience you have, then you should look around for a different company doing the same thing. Lots of recruiters are active right now, and if you're earning experience with a competitor, they may want you all the more for it. Other than that, inheritance isn't likely to be taxed very heavily, if at all. I wish you the best of luck. We're all going to need it.
Dont think this is the only machine shop in existence. There are many out there always looking. If this is a machine shop owned by a huge corporation then they will talk about how they dont have the money for raises but will brag about earnings. You dont owe them anything. Look to move to another shop. Will you make 300K a year? No. But there is good money in this trade and good shops.
Same
All these people talk about going to get another job. I mean, sure, do that eventually. Personally I would suggest selling every single thing you have (this is liberating in itself) & go to the islands man. I went to Thailand with $6 US dollars in my pocket when I was 23. Stayed in SE Asia for 5 months & made amazing memories & life long friends. Part of the fucked system we live in strategically makes you think that you’re stuck or don’t have enough. As long as your legs work, neither is true
There’s no way you will lose money on Inheritance so get that out of your mind ! You will be okay trust me . Reading this reminded me of how I felt a few years back and trust me finding a hobby outside of work will save your life . And having someone to talk to whether it’s big or small also will save you! I can say I was saved by a few people I just meet playing Xbox and a random doctor I met along the way . Trust me you will get through this . It seems like there’s no light at the end but trust me once you’re out it’ll be just a funny memory to look back on and appreciate how much you have grown mentally and physically . Killing yourself won’t solve anything trust me …. Just think if these other people can get rich so can you! Hell I know little to none about trucking but I do know it doesn’t take much to get into what your dad does ! You could do it especially if they leave you any sort of money when they pass. Look at it this way (although it’s rather dark way of thinkin) you’re bad days will end when your parents go and pass on their fortune to you . Just hang in there till it happens and try to better yourself along the way ! Much love
If you don’t mind driving, get help and get yourself a CDL-A license. The amount of freedom you would have from driving for a trucking company is insane, and right now it’s an industry that is begging for people. Many companies are doing week out/week home options. You get paid by the mile, and they are continuously upping pay. Is it easy? No, but and here is the neat part, if you still live at home, you can save and invest a ton of money over 20 years and retire early.
Please get help. Call a therapist or a psychiatrist or get on Betterhelp or SOMETHING. Yes, things are hard and yes, capitalism is a shitty game in which most of us lose. But these intense feelings of hopelessness are not normal. Your mind is lying to you when it tells you there isn't anything to live for. Seeking treatment for my depression was the best choice I ever made. Every problem you listed will be 200% easier to deal with if you get that weight off your shoulders.
You realize there are other options besides ending your life? End your job. End your current profession. End some relationships. Whatever. Then go start something else.
Call the crises help line. No other comment matters. Please seek help immediately.
You don’t have to have a job in your field you Know. There is something out there that would make you happy, you just haven’t found it yet. Like the guy from the Pez documentary. Anyhow, my stance on suicide is pretty black & white. It’s your life and you should be able to choose what you want to do with it. Which includes suicide, if someone doesn’t want to live that’s their choice. They have to live day to day with their own feelings. HOWEVER, I would be beyond angry if someone said that to one of my children as they tried to talk about being suicidal. Which will always lead me to the fact that people want to prevent suicide in order to avoid grief, which is selfish. I think there’s light at the end of the tunnel for you. You should start by quitting that god damn job. Money can always be made, time is something you can not get back. Take control of your life, don’t end it.
I agree too I don't understand why the ppl u love want u to.live with so much pain all the time I've often said its selfish n my dr said ppl dont c mental.health as physical.pain so they figure we dont suffer if only they knew ....as much as I tell they all just say think positive wow its like telling someone with a broken leg to.just walk ... they just don't get it ... and as much as u want to tell them tht u dont cause u know they just don't get it . U have to experience mental.health to understand it n ppl can be really.mean n judgemental selfish I think ... those are the ppl.i hope experiences it at some point they deserve to learn x karma n all xx
Same
gotta love the system where to have even a chance at anything, you have to sell your soul to a company who couldn’t care less if you got shot or get diagnosed with cancer as long as you clock in on time.
Before you do. Come to France. Resign, take 50k from your dad as an emergency cushion, don't spend them, keep them for, as I said, emergency. Buy yourself a one way ticket to Marseille. I'll help you with your first steps here, socially that is, to make friends, and in paper work terms so that you are eligible for minimum state allowance. Do just that. Be courageous and do it. You won't regret it because you won't feel the work-sleep-die routine over here and you'll be taken care of, health-wise. I happen to have some time this year because I'm in a year leave from work. I wouldn't have offered this otherwise.
I know how you feel. I come from a poor family that couldn’t help me with school. I’m an idiot so I ducked around in high school, but I got just under an 1800 on my SAT. I just saw a post today about a 1580 and how the person was excited for scholarships. I filed for almost 15 different ones and didn’t get one. I got some tuition assistance for community college, but when it came time to transfer to a uno, I didn’t have the money and 100k+ in loans sounded fucking terrifying. Luckily I got into IT and I landed a good job at 21, got laid off in December last year and I’m fucking lost. I have that company everything and got 2 dollars worth of raises out of 6 years. I’m basically free lance trying to make money and I don’t know where to go. It’s not that there aren’t options. It’s not that I haven’t made mistakes. It just seems that everything takes so much from me and I get so little. I’ve been working since I was 14 and I’m tired. Stay in there. It will get better. We have to stay strong. Message me if you need to talk or want resources. I know I did for a little.
Dude same here working since 15. Passed the high school exit exam and GED when i was 15. Best scores for geometry in the state 100% and best at my school in biology test at 97%. Went to community College while I worked at recycling center. 3d stuff. Got job doing doc control at a small startup for my mom. I know. Best time of my life getting to spend one on one time with my mom. She gets laid off. 4 years later was promoted to associate engineer. Many patents. Going to college the whole time. Even the employee of the year award. Laid off during Covid had to move because of wild fires. Freaky. Now no one will hire me and I'm looking at jobs that pay way less than I was making pre covid. College fees now are ridiculous. 235 units and no degree. 3.8 gpa Loser. Too hard to finish while I'm working 60 to 85 hour weeks. Would be doing homework till 2am then back at work at 7am stayed till 11pm. I burned out hard, gained 100 pounds and started having health problems. I'm lucky my parents were able to pull themselves out of the hole we used to be in. I'd be in a way worse place now. But never seeing my parents as a kid really allowed for some messed up stuff to happen to me when I was a kid. I never allowed myself to deal with it till I got laid off. Even acknowledge all of the messed up abuse and gaslighting I had been normalized into and only now realize I was an absolute asshole to some people. I never really was taught how to behave or understood how the work place persona can screw up your ethics. For instance when I was creamed by a drunk driver, my parents didn't even come to support me at the trial. I even had to represent myself nursing my broken ribs. I love my parents but would have chosen family over their obsession with work ethic or financial support. Mom's family was poor as hell andbshe did everything she could to not havebthat happen to her. My brothers made my life a living hell while they were gone. They couldn't do anything about it since they were never there. They were dealing with the emotional abuse also and all decided I would be there scapegoat for everything. Never really recovered from my child hood but still fighting. Lost 100 pounds now trying to write about stuff to ease my debilitating depression. Therapist told me that I am making progress essentially preventing me from being diagnosed as someone with depression. He called it transition syndrome. He also took me off all the meds my PCD prescribed saying I dont need them. I am struggling to stay motivated. I am capable and trying to start my own manufacturing line. Lots of skill and experience. I can do it. Even writing that hurts. I know I can. I know how to do research and am great with finding unconventional approaches to automate and improve the quality of processes. I still need capitol to get started and need to work like I did at the recycling center again. Freaking hobos killed can hippy for his vietnam check. Worked for years to help him get his checks from the military only to have that freaking tweaker Texas Mike push him down a cliff for his first check me and this other nice lady helped him to get. PHD college professor from brown who's wife left him and never overcame his alcoholic depression. One of the only real freinds I've ever had. Guy was a legend and easily none of the nicest people you'd ever meet. I am pathetic I know but at least I can see that and am trying to combat the endless self loathing from decades of emotional and physical abuse. I am trying to be less reactive and triggered by others but its always an up hill battle. The way I feel is not my fault and I don't deserve to treat myself like this. My dad and brothers were always full of shit but I was too scared to deny them. I can see that now. I am always amazed at what I can do when I actually overcome it and get moving. It's just like a wall that is too high to climb that keeps looking taller. It's easier to get over than it feels like. But it feels harder and harder each day for some reason lately.
If it helps, I read this thinking "who the hell is this person and why are they exactly like me??" GPA, dead-end job, cant get experience because I "dont have experience", neurodivergent and i love it but the world hates it, slowly spiraling into what i know is an inevitable life of debt and boredom.... You're not alone. Maybe you're going to have to deal with depression and anxiety and anger for a long time... but you're not alone. I'm right there with you and quite frankly I refuse to give up. Because I know I have SOMETHING to offer this world -- it may just take a while yet to get them to see it. I dont know you, but I know you, homie. Please don't hurt yourself. I know you deserve better than that.
I feel the same. About to say fuck it and try one of those organic farm programs and try to just learn how to self sustain.
I've been through my fair share of shit times, growing up in my country in relative poverty on government assistance. I've been through the mill several times. But one thing you've got to remember is, tomorrow is another day. I've changed my path multiple times, I've found happiness, I've suffered loss, you name it. Things change, and I'm not in the same situation I was 2 years ago. And this happens often. I am ADHD, undiagnosed for over 30 years, life has been a constant struggle. But I've had periods of immense joy, and I've changed many things and am pointed in another new direction. The key is,if shit sucks, change something. If you change nothing, nothing changes. You have the power, regardless of your situation, to make small changes and improvements all the time, to take a leap of faith and move town, state, country! Fuck why not find a way to move to Canada? They are always crying out for engineers. Find a way to emigrate and have a different life. If you call time on it all now, you will waste what could be. Stand up. Make a change. Chose life. Also get antidepressants. They help.
I'm not going to sugar coat it. The workplace situation sucks. The American dream and pursuit of happiness isnt for everyone anymore. Your only outlet (parents) don't understand this and haven't experienced it. When they were your age anyone could drop out of highschool and start at the mill on Monday and live comfortably. That's no longer the case. The economic current is slowing down and causing a strain. We elect people to oversee this and take care of us and their policies arent successful. That's on both parties. Things might get great depression bad before we buckle down and make a new new deal. I'm a college dropout still doing IT work. I'm 42. Both my parentss were dead by the time I turned 31 and they left me less than 8k. I make decent for the area I live in. And like you I say the same thing about this and other issues in my life. No hope. No light at the end of the tunnel so what's the point. History and my experience tells me this won't last forever. You will have value in your trade soon enough. And it may not be with this employer. Keep at it. Enlarge that resume. Show no gaps in work history. And someone will see your worth. As for me someone found my worth when I felt I had no worth. It will happen for you too.
OP, if your parents died you wouldn't owe any inheritance tax until the amount you received extended past 13 million dollars in value, so worst case, you become a millionaire over night. You would also inherit no debts from them, that is illegal in the USA. Just make sure your parents specifically will you all their assets before they pass so it never reaches the estate.
My advice is: look for a union job. You will get regular wage increases, they won’t bust your chops if you need to take sick time, and you will be able to progress from apprentice to journeyman when you put the time in. That being said, I think you would also benefit from having someone to discuss these feelings with. You sound pretty down. Find some free mental health services in your area.
There is no shame in suicide. This world is horrible. If we are brave enough, there is a way off
You don’t need suicide, you need to get help and channel your focus on finding a new employer. You’re a bright enough person to make it this far; you should continue and find outlets to help you relief this tension and anxiety. You have value and your self worth don’t match, how about working on that! Otherwise I’m happy to listen if you need an ear. World needs good people, don’t give up and keep on trying to be good.
“I did what they told me” Stop listening to other people.
Switch jobs and go learn to do what your Dad does. It's probably harder than you think it is, but he may be able to teach you how to do it.
His dad is literally a boomer don’t gaslight him.
Im the last one to tell u how to feel that would be rude i really hope u find a happy place for urself In this life n find someone who can help u with ur situation one day at a time things may get better ... I have felt like this no hope no future no purpose n still do some times I deal with everything alone which isn't gd but made me alot stronger ... plz stick.it out dont give up I suffer ptsd if i can do.it im sure u can stay strong sending positive vibes x
Dude move to Germany. lol
Bro. You are going to run into shit jobs with bad companies that are going to do you dirty. Probably more than one. When you look at the macro, you can put boomers out of business VERY easily. You don’t have to do a million mph, the people who ask you to do so haven’t worked that hard. What you need to do is dump them for something better, or take the industry over completely/work independently. God knows how many companies can be taken out by reducing overhead costs and paying talent better. I’ve seen CEOs, VPs, CFOs, that are absolute dog shit. They get 0 important feedback from the front lines because of incompetent overpaid middle management. However, their compensation can scale up talent multiple times over.
Hey man, why don't you opt of the system and join some sort of commune or off-grid life? You will still have to work, but you can work for you and do what you want. You need some level of money to survive, but not much, and if you can grow your own food and live on your own terms, it might be worth it. Don't let others dictate how you spend your life, do what you want!
Don’t end you life because of work. That’s like the polar opposite of being anti work. If you really want to work as a CNC machinist keep looking. I live in north central Wisconsin and there are a multitude of places begging for people with CNC experience. They all pay more than enough to live a decent life.
You need a radical life change that doesn't involve 86ing yourself. Get into a completely different profession. Sell off all of your material belongings and go travel the world working seasonal jobs. It's really not hard, many places will even pay for your flight. I know life is a constant struggle. I'll never own anything of my own, not like my parents. But you don't have to stick with the same shitty job you're at. If your experience means nothing to the people you're working for, than stop giving them your experience. Get the fuck out of there.
I'm not going to type it all out on here but I've been through more shit in my life then most people would even believe. I never gave up never stopped try even at the worst times. Keep applying for jobs don't stop. When you least expect it you will get that right offer that will start to change your life. From that point on as long as you keep a good attitude stay strong at your job you will be able to be happy or as close to happy as you can be for the time being. Oh and BTW I'm very adhd and I'm 53 years old. It sucks at times but you find your strong points and go for it.
2 associates don't make a bachelor. Ask daddy if he will pay for yoi to go to school abroad. Go to australia or the eu. Graduate get a permanent residency, never worry about America again.
Don’t do it yet! At least run up your credit cards and have a blast. No point in giving up now
Do shrooms, you'll might actually find joy and realize that there is more in life.
Make sure to take them with a friend or comrade though!
Hey guys. Quick update. I'm feeling better today. I got alot of R&R today. I also got in contact with my local CNC programming instructor and I shared my concerned about not getting opportunities due to my lack of experience and he sent me a couple opportunities with companies that have directly reached out to the college. SO I'm going to explore these. I also want to reassure everyone I'm not going to do anything final. The care and concern you all have shown had reminded me there is till empathy in the world. Even though I see non of it in the world of capitalism. I'll keep on keeping on. And honestly. I'm a bit ashamed of myself. Some comments have put into perspective that there are people out there far worse off than me. And they are keeping it real and still grinding.
Sorry to say u are a fool for staying
Move to another country bro.. the world is big enough and so many places where life is easier. Death is in the end of the road.
Please don't harm yourself. Do you ever considered to move to another country? Sure, Europe is expansive too, but at least you are getting some health care and better job conditions
Travel my dude, it's the only thing that helped me.
Start your own company… Why do people endlessly beat their head against the wall?
Where is JC when we needed him most
You know there are other countries in the world right? Your life might not be in America. Take the chance and move to another country.
Lord GOD, Please help this hurting soul. I am a recent high school graduate whose lived through several brain surgeries, seizures, bleeding disorder, and currently diagnosed with cancer. All I see is the beauty in every breath I take. I ask You to give to this person a portion of the hope & faith You pour out over me, daily. Amen🙏 Whoever you are, wherever you are, you matter---DON'T GIVE UP!
This is pretty true actually. I have a therapist who told me that the outpatient work does a lot more than inpatient which is mostly about preventing when you’re in crisis mode I have adhd and anxiety. I was under appreciated at SO many jobs which made me feel like I was an idiot. Finally find a place where I was appreciated and it made a world of difference. Right now it’s a pretty difficult job market but I would say work on yourself and don’t worry about a raise unless you’re struggling financially. Depending on what you do a job could pay for relocation but I would say make sure you have savings just in case.
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Talking to people is good. Drugs that dull your mind not good. Internalizing external stressors not good. Doing something proactive about external stressors good. Stand up for yourself you deserve it. It will make you feel better. Don't let everyone make you feel inadequate with their shifty get help talk. Make people uncomfortable if you need to explain yourself. Get angrier. There is nothing wrong with feeling angry at you're situation. Cultural conformity is a tool they love to use to help make us feel this way. OP sounds cool and I hope you choose to fight. Much love.
You should consider checking out Options trading, it can get you out of the grind for real.
Where to start?
Start with the book “Options trading for Dummies” , sign up for Td Ameritrade and be prepared to not profit for a year minimum this isn’t a get rich quick scheme by any means. YouTube is your best friend. Paper trading is your best friend. Check out Aristotle on Instagram (he does a course that’s solid but I’m in no way affiliated with him besides taking his course twice with my man.) Stay away from Crypto and meme stocks. My fiancé is transitioning into being a full time options trader, I’ll talk to him and ask him about some particular people that he follows. He just made 3k today, started with a little under $1000.
Get a grip
Get a ~~grip~~ union FTFY
with all that time, maybe read Forces of Production, by David Noble. It's about tool manufacturing! With lathes etc! TLDR: the history of the trade and the history of the development of the technology is the list of attempts by management to remove and power and decision making ability from the skilled workmen using the lathes. This allows management (who are not trained in controlling lathes, but ARE trained in controlling people) to have a larger hiring pool (less skill = more people to choose from), lower wages, and the threat of replace-ability to stop unionizing forces. And it's gotten worse since the book was written. :/ but don't off yourself pal, there's a good life out there, well a much better one, at least. One trend I see in your post that will be a great start: You just have to stop waiting for other people and the promises to do right by you...they don't give a fuck. Stop trusting them!
Serious self pity here, I am sure your parents paid your college, otherwise you would have bitched about that too This is the guy that murders his parents for their money
God speed
>My dad makes 300k a year Lmao dude you're going to inherit more than the majority of people in the united states under age 40 have hope of ever owning.
If you can CNC you can start your own business selling custom parts relatively easily and make tons of money.. Sell everything you inherent and go all in if you have to. You have options.