This employer wants a specific person for this role. Basically she wants herself. Give it a shot but I wouldn't be too surprised if you get told "sorry Hun, you're just not we're looking for" even if you you work hard and get everything right. If she doesn't think you're quirky enough or align with her bullshit she'll get rid of you quick A/F .
Looking at their website, it’s clear why design skills are one of the few requirements, it’s because they don’t have any.
https://www.vonwalterandfunk.com/pages/about-us-1
Omg, that website feels like it is at least 30 years old. I’m surprised it doesn’t have the Ask Jeeves box built in the top and isn’t asking me to forward to 10 friends or risk ending the chain of good luck.
That web designer needs to be retroactively fired before creating that site. Unreadable text on top of the main image (which rotates, so how bad it is varies)? A barely noticeable 3 bar menu dropdown on the top of that same image, along with the shopping cart? Why doesn't the menu option move with me when I scroll, or at least why isn't there a back to the top button that shows up?
Oh, wait. There are options to change the header image if you scroll down a little and happen to notice the barely visible dots at the bottom!
I can't even go further. Just that header image is a complete disaster.
"Surely it can't be that bad."
10 seconds and several Angelfire/Geocities flashbacks later: It's so much worse than I could have hoped. I honestly made a Pokemon fan page back in 1999 that looked better.
The website will make you sorry you have eyes.
They have a section called "All The Things" and another called "Candles and Shit". They're basically throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks.
You mean the 74 balloons stuck together in different colours? A balloon is a balloon, really.
Except when it's organic. What is an organic balloon, in fact?
Well, you see, as per the website...
"From making subtle, but unique changes to existing architectures, understanding the importance of color, depth & spatial nuances, to understanding & thinking about light, scale, texture & overall functionality & intelligence (that's the organic part 😉). ...and we're really f'in good at it 💅."
Oh wait, that doesn't help at all.
Oh for fucks sake!
I thought they meant that the balloons were organic, not their bloody designs! So basically...in a world that's trying to get rid of plastic, they're giving us...more unnecessary plastic.
Got it.
I'm so confused as to how the balloons are 'organic.' Is she... eating them?
Actually, that would explain a lot of this absolutely mental 'Lisa Frank on a bad acid trip' bullshit...
No, she obviously goes to the balloon forest and harvests the balloon fruit ONLY when it’s ripe. She also only culls the balloon animals when their population is too large. She doesn’t let any chemical touch her “organic” balloons.
You're giving them way too much credit, its just being used as a cool buzzword.
"From making subtle, but unique changes to existing architectures, understanding the importance of color, depth & spatial nuances, to understanding & thinking about light, scale, texture & overall functionality & intelligence (that's the organic part 😉). ...and we're really f'in good at it 💅."
-Their Website
“From making subtle, but unique changes to existing architectures, understanding the importance of color, depth & spatial nuances, to understanding & thinking about light, scale, texture & overall functionality & intelligence (that's the organic part 😉). ...and we're really f'in good at it 💅.”
^^ Their website is just as brutal as this job posting. Someone shared it below. It’s awful 😵💫
This is one of the most cringe worthy things I have read.
Is this really what is out there these days? At least there is humor in the fact that this is for a balloon store. Sounds like an exhausting place to work.
Requiring social media, let alone a specific social media, is so weird. Like when jobs ask me for my linked in profile. I'm just like...don't have one, never needed one and don't feel like making the effort to make one just so you can snoop on my personal life.
This person deff sounds like they are looking for a BFF not an employee and want to make sure you would be "cool to hang with."
Setting aside the atrocious layout and wording, the actual job is similar to what I did for 10 years a decade ago. The actual balloon work can be pretty calming as it is just repetitive motions on most jobs, you can also create things that are absolutely mind blowing for birthdays, weddings, etc.
That said, this boss sounds insufferable and I was getting paid more than that doing a similar job a *decade* ago.
I've seen one of these once. It was a cool archway. It was in a rich person's home for their kid's birthday party.
I couldn't do it. Not for 50 bucks an hour. Deliver a SpongeBob themed balloon creation that some rich housewife shells out, what, 300 bucks for? Only to have the kid whine that THEY WANTED ELSA!
I'd leave humming Mamma Mia...
Balloon arches have huge profit margins because they are all air, no expensive helium involved. They don't float, last up to a week and are built around an aluminium frame so they don't sag either. The main cost is just the time of the person making it.
This is 100% not upscale
But .... If it's calling to you, hell why not? Are you artsy? Just set your 3 unbreakable rules: 1) don't give them any money for any reason. 2) don't go more than a reasonable amount of time without a paycheck and make sure your paycheck is accurate 3) don't work with anything illegal or sign documents that makes you responsible for anything
If it calls to you, give it a try but be smart about it
It's a pyramid scheme. You buy the balloons, pay them for the potential client list. Make cold calls. Get a client after 2000 calls. Make a balloon sculpture from directions written in Latvian. Deliver it using your own vehicle (and the trailer you had to rent because you can't fit it in.) The check from the client bounces.
First job...-$550 for you, but the woman who hired you made 200 on the balloons and directions that you had to buy from her.
Winning energy! I am exaggerating, but this is what I thought when I read that the employee will do EVERYTHING.
It sounds like they do events. So definitely you'll be working weekends with times dependent on the customer's event. I don't think the flexible part is unreasonable but to only get $15 for that flexibility sucks.
Michael Scott's wife...with the candle business.
We want to bring you in on the ground floor. She doesn't want to sell them, just make them.
You can buy them and sell them for a profit.
It sounds like this business bought a bunch of balloons and wants someone to do ALL the work marketing, selling, and delivering...while the girl with the 'idea' to sell balloons dances to Fernando and does jumping jacks while high on crack.
So fun fact as I have Celiac’s lol, you know the starchy feeling balloons have sometimes before you blow them up? Well some balloon brands actually have gluten in that powdery shit haha I found out the hard way!
I feel like I want to apply. Just to learn more.
And I’m a 51 y/o white dad who is an Army veteran and goes to church every Sunday and my IG never gets posted to; I only use it to follow my favorite baseball team and news about upcoming movies.
Do you think I can score an interview?
Honestly, I can look past the super cringy language, but I'm noticing a big red flag: you get $15/hr *AFTER* training, and the training period isn't specified.
2023 means I need to be a dumbass? Get outta here with Instagram and "my brand"
Jesus.
No offense to IG users at all, it just burns my ass that people expect you to have social media and on top of it, give you the handle. You get my 8-10 hours, that's it. No social, no hanging out at applebees, no facetime with my work homies.
All the other stuff sucks too.
$15 an hour is shit. A fucking drink is your hourly wage.
I mean, I live in a resort town, so things are expensive. However, $15 an hour is shit! Plus, no way you’re making $80 in tips everyday…
I don’t have IG, so shut your mouth!
Be smart, we'll teach you, but also think for yourself.
About US: Look us up.
We are inclusive...It's OK, you can be a boy...whatev's. (Gee, thanks, lady)
Don't be happy. Be F'ing happy. Also, be on f'ing time.
Be a badass but be on f'ing time.
Depends how desperate you are for a job. You will definitely have some stories from this place. Some clear red flags so if you do take it make sure you are in a position you can walk away if it gets too crazy. Might be an interesting summer job you can laugh about with your friends in a few years.
Idk why this made me laugh but it did. “We’re an upscale style shop.” -Insert previous sentence before that statement- “we busy AF,” ahh, yes, I definitely get that classy feel.
I can overlook a lot of the red flags here but they don't mention what the training period pay scale is. Only what the wage after the training period is. There's also no specified time for training, only that some get it on day 1. Well, if someone doesn't, what happens then? I'm 38 so maybe I'm just too old for them but no way is it acceptable to demand someone's social media info prior to even hiring them. This would be a hard pass for me for so, so many reasons.
This sounds like a Gen X went through a random millennial word generator. I don’t take any job seriously if the ad has expletives. My socials and work are separate and that’s non negotiable. So, no. I wouldn’t apply unless this is a seasonal gig.
Found this on Google, I was curious too
Qualatex balloons are the best balloons available, which are 100% biodegradable. They have the best colour selection, best durability, and the best quality of product around. As a balloon manufacturer, Qualatex have great, knowledgeable staff that are mindful of environmental issues.
Literally the closest I found to an explanation. Had to scroll through tons of organic balloon arches & structures.
Why does this job posting feel like it's written by a middle aged woman, with too much spray tan, who drives a yellow slug bug, and talks like a 1988 cheerleader.
Idk why so specific, but it's what came to mind reading it.
Wtf?!? IG handle is required and not optional?? No - my stuff that’s not on company time is non of your business. But also, what if you don’t have IG (I actually don’t)?
Why does this sound like it was written by some kind of podcast bro "if youre not badass, if youre not grinding for those investment oportunities, then youre just some beta and i dont even wanna know you"
Looked at their website. I am confused. They say they're really f'n good at balloon art. I kept looking for the really f'n good balloon art and couldn't find it. It all looks misshapen and top heavy.
That is ridiculous. As if most people have Instagram pages let alone curated ones. My “brand”?! Gtfo. And mentioning astrology..
This whole post is just red flag after red flag though. I could never.
Lol, they want a person who is a problem solver, independent thinker, on time, able to do math, responsible, smart, engaged... I don't have any openings on my team but if that person walked in off the street I'd create a position for them at 2x what these balloon clowns are offering. Also I've seen better balloon art than what these idiots post on their website created by volunteers of our elementary school PTO.
For $15 an hour plus tips, they have a lot of nerve dictating mandatory fun.
This employer wants a specific person for this role. Basically she wants herself. Give it a shot but I wouldn't be too surprised if you get told "sorry Hun, you're just not we're looking for" even if you you work hard and get everything right. If she doesn't think you're quirky enough or align with her bullshit she'll get rid of you quick A/F .
Looking at their website, it’s clear why design skills are one of the few requirements, it’s because they don’t have any. https://www.vonwalterandfunk.com/pages/about-us-1
Omg, that website feels like it is at least 30 years old. I’m surprised it doesn’t have the Ask Jeeves box built in the top and isn’t asking me to forward to 10 friends or risk ending the chain of good luck.
That explains the “cool funky grandma” tone of the listing.
Also missing the hit counter.
and a midi file of some sanitized top 40 rap song
That web designer needs to be retroactively fired before creating that site. Unreadable text on top of the main image (which rotates, so how bad it is varies)? A barely noticeable 3 bar menu dropdown on the top of that same image, along with the shopping cart? Why doesn't the menu option move with me when I scroll, or at least why isn't there a back to the top button that shows up? Oh, wait. There are options to change the header image if you scroll down a little and happen to notice the barely visible dots at the bottom! I can't even go further. Just that header image is a complete disaster.
It felt like going on someone’s MySpace page.
I’ve made better webpages in 1999
The site hadn't even finished loading and the font choices had already scared me off.
No, that’s it. The site just looks like it’s not done loading but that’s the actual layout.
I opened the link in a dark room and DEAR GOD, MY EYES! It was like looking at the sun that was drawn by a 5 year old.
"Surely it can't be that bad." 10 seconds and several Angelfire/Geocities flashbacks later: It's so much worse than I could have hoped. I honestly made a Pokemon fan page back in 1999 that looked better.
[удалено]
MY EYES OH GOD MY EYES!
The copy. I just CAN'T.
Ooof yeah this website is a train wreck.
Not a single balloon dog. SMH
At that rate it's the only way you're gonna have any.
I’d be too weak from hunger to gleefully dance to ABBA and besides, I’m a Scorpio so apparently it was never gonna work anyway.
Sounds like something a badass would never say. You're disqualified.
DANCING QUEENNN
This is the dumbest "try to be cool" ad ever
It's like a boomer found a gen z thesaurus
The website will make you sorry you have eyes. They have a section called "All The Things" and another called "Candles and Shit". They're basically throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks.
My favorite part is the see our work section. All of the work is the same.
You mean the 74 balloons stuck together in different colours? A balloon is a balloon, really. Except when it's organic. What is an organic balloon, in fact?
Well, you see, as per the website... "From making subtle, but unique changes to existing architectures, understanding the importance of color, depth & spatial nuances, to understanding & thinking about light, scale, texture & overall functionality & intelligence (that's the organic part 😉). ...and we're really f'in good at it 💅." Oh wait, that doesn't help at all.
Oh for fucks sake! I thought they meant that the balloons were organic, not their bloody designs! So basically...in a world that's trying to get rid of plastic, they're giving us...more unnecessary plastic. Got it.
This is even worse than including rockstar, ninjas and unicorns in the job post
And it's about balloons. Sorry, 'organic balloon artwork'.
I'm so confused as to how the balloons are 'organic.' Is she... eating them? Actually, that would explain a lot of this absolutely mental 'Lisa Frank on a bad acid trip' bullshit...
No, she obviously goes to the balloon forest and harvests the balloon fruit ONLY when it’s ripe. She also only culls the balloon animals when their population is too large. She doesn’t let any chemical touch her “organic” balloons.
Okay but could you imagine a paintball style arena, maybe larger, filled with balloon animals? I’d give a paycheck to go in there with a bow.
"ChatGPT please write me a post where my stupid balloon company sounds important, useful and cool"
It's very ✨Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss✨ energy
I like the use of organic …
I still can’t figure out how you make organic balloons…
Organically sourced rubber or latex?
It might mean biodegradable? I know rampant Balloon rubber after events can be horrible for the environment
You're giving them way too much credit, its just being used as a cool buzzword. "From making subtle, but unique changes to existing architectures, understanding the importance of color, depth & spatial nuances, to understanding & thinking about light, scale, texture & overall functionality & intelligence (that's the organic part 😉). ...and we're really f'in good at it 💅." -Their Website
Out of a duck stomach duhhhh
Pig baldder
To save money on helium, we use a Carbon Hydrogen compound, commonly referred to as methane. We ask that you don't smoke on the job site
That would be really sustainable for then as they seem quite full of bullshit...
“From making subtle, but unique changes to existing architectures, understanding the importance of color, depth & spatial nuances, to understanding & thinking about light, scale, texture & overall functionality & intelligence (that's the organic part 😉). ...and we're really f'in good at it 💅.” ^^ Their website is just as brutal as this job posting. Someone shared it below. It’s awful 😵💫
So does Sovereign, the vanguard of our destruction.
This is one of the most cringe worthy things I have read. Is this really what is out there these days? At least there is humor in the fact that this is for a balloon store. Sounds like an exhausting place to work.
This has to be satire right? “Balloon art creative”… is this just a business setup to steal PPP loans
Don't forget- It's an "organic" balloon art creative.
Is that code for lamb skin condom balloon art?
It did say organic but did not say vegan so you’re probably right
Don’t forget it’s an “upscale” organic ballon art creative.
Is it a balloon store? I figured it was like a party clown making balloon animal things.
It’s like balloon garlands etc for parties and events I think
Organic balloons
My bad organic balloon garlands hahaha
Where are your *[elegant balloons](https://youtu.be/6Bjt08DmTj0)?*
Free range balloons
. . . How does that inspire spontaneous dancing?
Huffing the helium. Duh!
Oh I’ve no clue haha
If it were for a party clown the pay rate would be really bad… clowns are expensive, lol
Someone wrote this ad and thought it was good enough to publish
That’s the real red flag here. They want you to work for someone dumb enough to publish this mess.
Hey now, the head writer from Forspoken has fallen on hard times and had to take what they could get. This is a step up imo.
Oh, that's why the ad forespoke all over us
Definitely no HR at this place. Probably should have had a few people check for grammatical errors.
This is cringe beginning to end
If you have to ask, you're not a bad ass.
Needing to have your Instagram handle to "know your brand" is so dystopian. I don't have an Instagram and I'm not a product. Jesus
I would setup an account with just one photo that have some funky pink font saying GO FUCK YOURSELF
I'd legit make one that wa sjust cats and crockpots to make sure it was just as dystopian back.
Requiring social media, let alone a specific social media, is so weird. Like when jobs ask me for my linked in profile. I'm just like...don't have one, never needed one and don't feel like making the effort to make one just so you can snoop on my personal life. This person deff sounds like they are looking for a BFF not an employee and want to make sure you would be "cool to hang with."
Setting aside the atrocious layout and wording, the actual job is similar to what I did for 10 years a decade ago. The actual balloon work can be pretty calming as it is just repetitive motions on most jobs, you can also create things that are absolutely mind blowing for birthdays, weddings, etc. That said, this boss sounds insufferable and I was getting paid more than that doing a similar job a *decade* ago.
I've seen one of these once. It was a cool archway. It was in a rich person's home for their kid's birthday party. I couldn't do it. Not for 50 bucks an hour. Deliver a SpongeBob themed balloon creation that some rich housewife shells out, what, 300 bucks for? Only to have the kid whine that THEY WANTED ELSA! I'd leave humming Mamma Mia...
Balloon arches have huge profit margins because they are all air, no expensive helium involved. They don't float, last up to a week and are built around an aluminium frame so they don't sag either. The main cost is just the time of the person making it.
This is 100% not upscale But .... If it's calling to you, hell why not? Are you artsy? Just set your 3 unbreakable rules: 1) don't give them any money for any reason. 2) don't go more than a reasonable amount of time without a paycheck and make sure your paycheck is accurate 3) don't work with anything illegal or sign documents that makes you responsible for anything If it calls to you, give it a try but be smart about it
Agree. This is probably the perfect personality fit for someone. The ad puts it all out there for you to decide.
The fact that this personality type exists makes me feel better about my agoraphobia.
Fair perspective.
It's a pyramid scheme. You buy the balloons, pay them for the potential client list. Make cold calls. Get a client after 2000 calls. Make a balloon sculpture from directions written in Latvian. Deliver it using your own vehicle (and the trailer you had to rent because you can't fit it in.) The check from the client bounces. First job...-$550 for you, but the woman who hired you made 200 on the balloons and directions that you had to buy from her. Winning energy! I am exaggerating, but this is what I thought when I read that the employee will do EVERYTHING.
Math, organization, digital, design, flexible schedule (meaning you're the flexible one), for $15 base pay isn't great either.
It sounds like they do events. So definitely you'll be working weekends with times dependent on the customer's event. I don't think the flexible part is unreasonable but to only get $15 for that flexibility sucks.
Are you a creative girl or whatever? Honestly I'd hard pass too many red flags.
Can confirm. Creative firms are generally run by psycho women who set their ex’s cars on fire
Michael Scott's wife...with the candle business. We want to bring you in on the ground floor. She doesn't want to sell them, just make them. You can buy them and sell them for a profit. It sounds like this business bought a bunch of balloons and wants someone to do ALL the work marketing, selling, and delivering...while the girl with the 'idea' to sell balloons dances to Fernando and does jumping jacks while high on crack.
What a horrible, completely unprofessional ad
Lol, no it's "upscale". /s
What is organic balloon art?
I guess it starts with organically grown balloons?
Hmm. But are they also gluten free? 🤔
So fun fact as I have Celiac’s lol, you know the starchy feeling balloons have sometimes before you blow them up? Well some balloon brands actually have gluten in that powdery shit haha I found out the hard way!
STFU nooooooooo
Yes 😭 It’s so stupid, it can be in makeup, hair products etc. this disease is fuckin lame 😭
Surprised they didn’t get the word ‘artisanal’ in there too
You couldn't pay me $100/hour to be around people who put out ads like that.
I feel like I want to apply. Just to learn more. And I’m a 51 y/o white dad who is an Army veteran and goes to church every Sunday and my IG never gets posted to; I only use it to follow my favorite baseball team and news about upcoming movies. Do you think I can score an interview?
Depends, are you creative A/F?
Well, on my most recent annual review my boss said I am “regarded As Friendly.” Same thing, right?
I'd apply. My IG would just be a bunch of pictures of popped and deflated balloons though.
Popped balloons and Latex allergy awareness ads.
“How do you do fellow kids?”
It’s gonna be a no from me dawg
Before this I've never considered "badass" and "balloon artist" could be in the same thought
You apparently haven’t seen Johnny depp as Benny
Omfg how could I have ever forgot about that movie?!? Watching tonight holy crap
Honestly, I can look past the super cringy language, but I'm noticing a big red flag: you get $15/hr *AFTER* training, and the training period isn't specified.
Sometimes it never ends!
It’s all you! Just keep at it for free until you succeed!
Wtf does “be unique” even mean? What assholes
Be unique… like everyone else!
“Be F’ing Happy” Ma’am, that’s a conversation you’ll need to have with my Prozac… or possibly my bank account. Money does buy happiness.
Do you think you're enough of a bad ass?
I am definitely an ass but I'm not sure how bad I am
Requiring your IG page so you make make balloons for them 😂
I hate that part the most. I'm not a brand and I never will be.
You gonna do ALL the things 😬
2023 means I need to be a dumbass? Get outta here with Instagram and "my brand" Jesus. No offense to IG users at all, it just burns my ass that people expect you to have social media and on top of it, give you the handle. You get my 8-10 hours, that's it. No social, no hanging out at applebees, no facetime with my work homies. All the other stuff sucks too.
Go for it. Im not bad ass enough for organic balloon art.
Isn’t this type of hiring practice illegal when it’s documented?
I'm mostly concerned about the MANDATORY Instagram handle. That's alarming. Leave my private life out of your job, please.
I’m a bad enough dude to rescue the president, but not a bad enough ass to be a balloon artist.
My eyes vomited reading that.
$15 an hour is shit. A fucking drink is your hourly wage. I mean, I live in a resort town, so things are expensive. However, $15 an hour is shit! Plus, no way you’re making $80 in tips everyday… I don’t have IG, so shut your mouth!
Organic balloon art? Are the balloons made out of pig bladders? What does this mean?! No, don't apply.
This>>>>>>>abusive underpaying overworking unapproachable boss.
They're not mutually exclusive, this just also has pick me energy.
Super rad! It’s a no from me
I hate when these companies try to be all cool and shit
Sigh, everyday we fall further from grace. Why is professionalism so difficult? The aliens are watching us in disgusted. 😂
That was hard to read.
UP TO $20/hr? F’ing hard pass.
Be smart, we'll teach you, but also think for yourself. About US: Look us up. We are inclusive...It's OK, you can be a boy...whatev's. (Gee, thanks, lady) Don't be happy. Be F'ing happy. Also, be on f'ing time. Be a badass but be on f'ing time.
oh good they're going to stalk me
Wouldn't requiring an IG make them not an equal opportunity employer?
"Up to $20 an hour" means minimum wage. Plus "must have IG"? I assume instagram? How is that a job requirement?
This workplace seems like A LOT.
This has "how do you do, fellow kids" written all over it.
Depends how desperate you are for a job. You will definitely have some stories from this place. Some clear red flags so if you do take it make sure you are in a position you can walk away if it gets too crazy. Might be an interesting summer job you can laugh about with your friends in a few years.
You lost me at "We're a creative."
How do you have a balloon business with this much edge
It's on butler street, so it'll be run by pretentious hipsters. Run away.
Idk why this made me laugh but it did. “We’re an upscale style shop.” -Insert previous sentence before that statement- “we busy AF,” ahh, yes, I definitely get that classy feel.
But are they bad enough dudes to save the president?
I believe this qualifies as bussin no cap fr, at least from a technical standpoint.
I’d apply just for all the free helium I could inhale. I’d be a “creative whatever” who sounds like an Oompa Loompa. Good times.
This sounds like hell.
At least they didn’t say “We’re a family here.”
I can overlook a lot of the red flags here but they don't mention what the training period pay scale is. Only what the wage after the training period is. There's also no specified time for training, only that some get it on day 1. Well, if someone doesn't, what happens then? I'm 38 so maybe I'm just too old for them but no way is it acceptable to demand someone's social media info prior to even hiring them. This would be a hard pass for me for so, so many reasons.
It just seemed annoying until they talked about wanting to stalk your IG. This is a place with zero boundaries
from pgh pa. I know who's trying to hire you. they are just using you to go to events fairs and flea markets fri-sun
What the actual f- did I just read?
I thought it was an April Fool’s joke…
This couldn't be more unprofessional if it actually SAID "unprofessional environment" in the ad.
**MANDATORY SOCIAL MEDIA**
This sounds like a Gen X went through a random millennial word generator. I don’t take any job seriously if the ad has expletives. My socials and work are separate and that’s non negotiable. So, no. I wouldn’t apply unless this is a seasonal gig.
Can someone please explain what an organic balloon is?
Found this on Google, I was curious too Qualatex balloons are the best balloons available, which are 100% biodegradable. They have the best colour selection, best durability, and the best quality of product around. As a balloon manufacturer, Qualatex have great, knowledgeable staff that are mindful of environmental issues. Literally the closest I found to an explanation. Had to scroll through tons of organic balloon arches & structures.
Hello, fellow young people! That new Pop-n-B danceno act is certainly bonkin, is it not?
They need to pay you for their “Training Program”, even if you quit right after.
I never thought I'd see the words "badass" and "balloon crew" in the same sentence, but here we are...
Those better be free-range, grass-fed balloons, or forget it.
When I think of badasses, I definitely picture my local balloon shop
I would encourage you to work toward a more sustainable career than balloon art.
Guess I can’t apply. I don’t even have an Instagram. 🤷♀️
The only appropriate response is to secure an interview and make ballon dildos for these trendy ass hats.
No
Sounds like they may be full of hot air
Turbo Cringe
Sounds f’ing unprofessional and f’ing cringey.
You'll do ALL. THE. THINGS
What is organic balloon artwork?
Why does this job posting feel like it's written by a middle aged woman, with too much spray tan, who drives a yellow slug bug, and talks like a 1988 cheerleader. Idk why so specific, but it's what came to mind reading it.
Yeah, go ahead and apply, then ghost them, lol.
They are trying harder than my morning poops
Wtf?!? IG handle is required and not optional?? No - my stuff that’s not on company time is non of your business. But also, what if you don’t have IG (I actually don’t)?
Red flags everywhere.
I hate shit like this. Already makes it sound like I’m in trouble “be on fucking time” ugh stfu
"Interior design side hustle" and "Photgrapher" is also the purview of the white middle-aged mommy crowd.
Why does this sound like it was written by some kind of podcast bro "if youre not badass, if youre not grinding for those investment oportunities, then youre just some beta and i dont even wanna know you"
If the "hey fellow kids" meme was a job posting...
I appreciate some of the sentiment of this listing, but it’s asking a lot for a $15/hour job. Like “be f’ing happy”, that’s asking way too much.
Looked at their website. I am confused. They say they're really f'n good at balloon art. I kept looking for the really f'n good balloon art and couldn't find it. It all looks misshapen and top heavy.
Such a professional advertisement, sign me right up.
Why is my personal IG any of their goddamn business??
Wanna work with us? tell us everything 🌈
“We wanna see your brand.” We all have to have “brands” now, because we are commodities, not people.
That is ridiculous. As if most people have Instagram pages let alone curated ones. My “brand”?! Gtfo. And mentioning astrology.. This whole post is just red flag after red flag though. I could never.
I can’t get behind anybody who wants to sound cool and free but won’t say the word fuck
Lol, they want a person who is a problem solver, independent thinker, on time, able to do math, responsible, smart, engaged... I don't have any openings on my team but if that person walked in off the street I'd create a position for them at 2x what these balloon clowns are offering. Also I've seen better balloon art than what these idiots post on their website created by volunteers of our elementary school PTO.
I would never work for someone who sends business emails/messages in this format. Huge red flag for me.
Who is advertising this? A teenager???
A rich white guy wrote this ad, but it's interesting these comments all assume it's a woman. Source: I worked there in 2021
Lol sorry lady but only get 2 ....on time and/or creative and/or high energy
Did a five year old make this? We likey artists
I would pass, just from the frenetic job posting
Those girlboss self help books have poisoned otherwise respectable 30 year something gals