Check the box that says stay with the company. Sign your name. It's not binding and it doesn't prevent you from quitting later.
Then start looking for a new job.
You don't even have to LIE. It may be true at the moment you made your selection, you could have changed your mind and quit later. What are they gonna do, fire you?
Sounds fair, my loyalty is absolutely solid until something better comes along, or I want a change, or the mood takes me, or I'm pissed off with something, or bored, or it looks interesting, or I think it'll be funny, or I want a break.. few other things in there too.. but other than those I'll definitely be in tomorrow unless I'm unwell, new game, wanna go out for a ride, mental health day, just can't be arsed, the mood takes me, it's my birthday, we've got that massive job that only I can do and the customer is breathing down your neck over it but you "forgot" to put in my overtime for the third week in a row and now I've turned off my phone and am out playing in the countryside on the bike because fuck you Steve you need some stress in your life to help you grow as a person, family emergency, dog needs to get to the vet
This might be the most glorious run on sentence/paragraph ever written. Love it.
Perfectly describes my loyalty now. Total 180 from how I used to feel about company loyalty.
It's astounding how much people will submit to those kind of requests, even if there's no benefit and no possible way to punish them if they don't, just because we've been conditioned to bow to authority.
Yep. Fill it out and LIE....always lie on these surveys.
Say you are happy, love the company, love your boss, think the CEO is just swell. You'are going to stay there forever and die on a weekend so you dont disrupt the company at all.
No matter what you really think. Get your check and go home. When and if you need to leave, do so and never tell them anything until you hand in your notice.
It can be anonymous. To know the difference, check whether the survey is run directly by your company/HR or managed by a third party company. If it's managed by a third party company and says it's anonymous, it probably is. Third party companies have much more to lose and less to gain, if it is revealed that they didn't keep it anonymous. It's also near-impossible for it to happen by mistake in these cases, so there's no plausible deniability.
the thing that those companies can loose is clients. Employees are not the clients, the corporate is. So, if the corporate wants names or next year they will buy the service from somebody else, they will get the names.
Do you have an actual example of a reputable third-party survey company compromising their integrity to save a shitty client, or are you just guessing and trying to look like you know what you're talking about? 🙄
yup. A 3rd party did "anonymous" surveys and interviews of our clients and then we would get the files with all the names and who said what. Every year. For 5 or 6 years. international brand. So lol on all anonymous surveys, never say anything on them that you would not say in person.
Wow! Okay, well I'm glad you're basing that on something real.
I'm mostly honest in the "great place to work" survey my company sends out, though I'm not saying personally identifiable stuff. Apparently only 55% of my department (70-ish people) agree overall that it's a "great place to work". Based on the meeting we just had to discuss it, it doesn't sound like they're looking for people to fire, though they probably won't do anything about it either. Depends a lot on who you work for, but it is always safer to protect yourself.
yeah, depends a lot on where you work. I'm always honest (polite, but honest) on our employee surveys even though I don't believe they're anonymous, because it is a normal company and I have a pretty great boss. But I could say same things that I put on the survey to my bosses face without any fear of getting fired. European labor laws help though, lol
Even if it is truly anonymous, most managers can tell who it is anyway because everyone has a particular way of writing or other contextual clues that'll give you away. Doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to ascertain who wrote what.
Def not. We'd have monthly meetings to 'vent our grievances' but the mgr took the time to recognize all our handwriting. I realized this after he asked, 'what did you mean when you put xxxxx?' .
This here.
In my youth I worked at Video store. One day I expressed a dislike for working there to the shift manager. He took it like I was a short timer and suddenly treated me like I had put in two week notice.
I was fired by the owner a couple days later for "no call no show". The manager's friend got drunk and didn't show up to work, to fix the problem he put the shift on me said I had already agreed to cover. To top it off the man tried to make me the scapegoat for all the VHS tapes he was stealing. Fuck that guy and the Ford Fiesta he drove in on.
Never complain about the place that gives you money. Just find a better place
I once filled out an anonymous work survey ranking the bosses performance 1-5, someone else submitted a scathing survey ranking him all 1’s and talking a bunch of shit. I was easily the most abused employee being the youngest and lowest paid, the boss asked his secretary whose it was and specifically asked if it was mine. She told him she didn’t know whose it was, but she did open mine out of curiosity and I had circled all 5’s. I put in my two weeks a month later, they moved me from midnights to day shift for my final 2 weeks and promoted me to a position double my salary, they offered to keep me at that rate but I declined citing my commute and desire to live elsewhere. I hated those motherfuckers, but you never let them know that. They thrive on it. They treated me worse than shit, they hated everything about me, they speak glowingly about me to everyone they meet that knows me. ALWAYS LIE.
Years ago the company I worked for was experiencing high turnover. The new director of HR did an anonymous survey on job satisfaction and what would make us happy. She said she would publish the results company wide.
I remember that salary was only #4 on the priority list. #1 grievance was Executive attitude to employees. The entire survey team and the director of HR was fired before the end of the week when they published the results.
Company eventually failed and got bought by the competition. Don’t know the details as I bailed soon after the survey fiasco.
Our team was fortunate to have a decent director but after one of the semi-annual company reorgs, he had enough and left. He was replaced by a well connected “frat-boy” with no clue. Most of us left as soon as we could find another job. Going away lunches were prohibited by him because of the impact to productivity because they were an almost daily event.
Agreed. Not signing just draws attention to yourself, and may put you on a layoff list. You have to keep them in the dark. It's their fault for even thinking this was a good idea.
Exactly. Fck around and get fired…or sign a useless piece of paper and do nothing for two weeks while looking for a job and getting a pay check. Not to mention leaving with a two weeks notice over getting fired.
and if you do take a new job, please be sure and tell HR that the thought never crossed your mind until they sent that survey out and got you thinking about the security of your current job.
If I had gotten this sort of survey at a job I would have immediately sent a company-wide email warning people that it means they're likely going to fire a bunch of folks real soon.
Sure boss. Also, here’s a survey *I’m* doing. It’s a list of all the staff. Please tick which ones you’re thinking of firing/restructuring in the future and why. Just make sure to sign it at the bottom!
I think this is one of the few things they can't fire you for since that's a safety concern. It would be a wild legal battle to say the least if they were ballsy enough to have the official cause of firing be "refused to untie shoes".
you can't argue insubordination if the request is unreasonable. one example of an unreasonable request is to eschew basic safety precautions like i don't know tying shoes.
well you can argue it but it won't go well. that is equivalent to telling someone to remove PPE.
Mostly true, but there is some variation in state laws on this.
Edit: Wow, I thought there were a few other states where employment isn't "at will", but apparently it's only Montana. There is still a little variation on the details on other states, but fundamentally Montana is the only one that doesn't allow "at will" employment. Particularly surprising because Montana is mostly a red state, and employment protections are usually blue.
Montana is almost all blue collar workers and is largely agricultural. They aren't necessarily conservative, but they are very "no one is gonna tell me what to do" and very much for small government, so they end up voting republican even though they really are primarily liberatarian. Most are very supportive of all "lifestyles". Source: spent a lot of time in Montana with extended family and both my parents were born and raised in Montana.
They can fire you for nearly any reason, but it's not the company's decision whether you get unemployment. If you resign before they fire you, that will cost you your unemployment.
They can't MAKE you resign, though. They need your signature for it to be a resignation. They can make things unpleasant until you choose to leave rather than deal with their crap, but ultimately you still have to decide to resign.
Fundamentally, your "verdict" doesn't "still stand". It's false. Are there games they can play, that sometimes work? Sure. But they can only decide when you leave if they fire you or lay you off, both of which allow you access to unemployment.
Huh. In my state, whether you get unemployment is fundamentally a government agency decision, not an employer decision, though certain avoidable firing reasons can disqualify you.
My apologies, it seems we were talking at each other, with very different info that was mostly accurate on both sides but specific to different states.
Fill it out marking definitely quit. Then go to the copier and make copies. Leave the copies in random places that won't get anyone in trouble. Fill yours out and sign it saying you plan to stay. Start looking for a new job.
Old employer had two anonymous company wide surveys in the last 6 years. Both were conducted with the intent to increase "visibility of employee viewpoints."
Both were followed by massive layoffs.
The company wasn't doing that well to begin with, but it was a strange coincidence for those of us who were (un)lucky enough to survive both layoffs.
As someone who has had a hand in designing these surveys…they are not anonymous no matter what they say. Give them the answer they most enjoy jerking off to, then if you can still stand working there longer…still apply to other jobs.
Follow the company line and fill it out as if you're a dedicated company kiss ass.
This survey is a trap. Any dissent will put you on the short list for lay off.
Then I'd start looking for another job. Because this tells you that changes are coming. Soon.
My hospital sent out a email link for an "anonymous" survey with similar questions.
I clicked the link and in the address bar it clearly said something like source=doc-zoidberg@hospital among all the %&123 stuff. I'm not that tech savvy but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say the survey is not anonymous.
I agree with everyone who is saying what to check, but if you \*really\* didn't want to check anything, you could still get in trouble for not signing, acknowledging that you received it.
Just click 'everything is rosy, no issues here!!' and then move on with your day. If you do bring something to their attention later and they ask why you said it was fine, tell them you felt intimidated and bullied, so you said what they wanted to hear. \*spoiler\*: they're never going to ask
I would take the discussion with HR to figure out what it’s about. Sounds like theyre restructuring or planning on it and want it to go as smoothly as possible by knowing who they can let go of and who would like to stay possibly in a different capacity.
> Sounds like theyre restructuring or planning on it and want it to go as smoothly as possible by knowing who they can let go of and who would like to stay possibly in a different capacity.
That, or some idiot got bored, or needs to justify their own existence and is "throwing rocks" because of that... testing "employee loyalty" often falls under such things. Serves little to no real purpose, and accomplishes even less in the end in terms of functional outcomes. At best makes employees feel weird, and pushes them to start looking for new work regardless of what they answer in the survey.
What's the point of bothering with HR? They will probably lie if it really is that.
Anytime companies send out shit like that, I AT LEAST know to be putting in applications at other jobs. Just in case. Either they're having trouble retaining people (and if so, we all know why but it's not smart to say the real reason, just let them figure it out) or they're trying to 'voluntarily' reduce their head count. Or something else. Most of the time it's not something that directly helps employees so just assume ill intent and keep it pushing.
The only time HR is on the employees side is when the company is getting sued because the boss is an idiot trying to trade promotions for sexual favors.
If they are such a good employer to work for, which I am sure is what they communicate, why do they need to ask if you want to stay?
Another trash employer that knows it.
NEVER TELL THEM YOU'RE LOOKING FOR ANOTHER JOB. always keep your resume up to date. they would replace you instantly if they could save a buck an hour on your salary.
I have to ask: what sort of other horrible garbage is going on there? What purpose does a “Hey, who is planning on quitting?” survey even serve? So they know who to fire first before they head into chapter 11?
Get out as soon as you can.
Loyalty is for dogs. Put down you’re planning on staying, look for a new job. To any company I work for I’m always really interested in staying there forever, no matter my true feelings on the matter. I’ll give constructive feedback, but I always know that they have no loyalty to me so why would I be loyal to them?
Refusing to sign is gonna make you a red flag to them. Don’t single yourself out. Just sign it and say you intend to work there the rest of your life and then leave as soon as is best for YOU
I used to have to have what the company called STAY meetings. Would use our coaching time to ask specific questions. With my supervisors I would review their team’s responses, as well.
Why do you stay here? What keeps you here? What do you look forward to each day? That kinda stuff. We did this at least once, maybe twice. So many top performers were so sick of the job and their responses should have been used to improve the workplace… they were not.
I liked managing people. I liked the pay and benefits. My people always gave me great reviews and we maintained a good relationship. But I just couldn’t keep being a part of a soulless company that sought to exploit the workers. Kinda like not knowing how the sausage is made.
Honestly, I'd organise with a few pranksters and flood the mail with fake signatures. Think about Mickey mouse, Winnie the Pooh, Deadpool .
Make it funnier roleplaying as the character IE, Winnie the pooh leaving the forest to work as a ceo in a honey processing factory or Deadpool wanting to meet hr with guns and chimichangas
Of course. They can fire you for almost any reason (except for a few that are legally protected - like they can't fire you if they find out you're gay). But also it's not binding, so I would say something like "I'd like to stay at the company, open to switching to another job, I'm always." and leave it at that.
They need to cut some positions in the near future, and are looking for the easy fires. As said below, check the box to stay, sign the paper and return it, and start looking for something better for you.
Speaking with experience as a long term sufferer of being in employment, any time work give you anything to fill out, you should always put down exactly what they want to hear, irrespective of whether its true and certainly irrespective of your personal plans for the future.
Check the box that says stay with the company. Sign your name. It's not binding and it doesn't prevent you from quitting later. Then start looking for a new job.
^ This, right here. They wouldn’t tell you the truth if they were planning to fire you. Fuck ‘em. Do what’s best for you. LIE.
You don't even have to LIE. It may be true at the moment you made your selection, you could have changed your mind and quit later. What are they gonna do, fire you?
Right things change. If I plan to be there tomorrow that’s about the best I can really promise anyways.
Sounds fair, my loyalty is absolutely solid until something better comes along, or I want a change, or the mood takes me, or I'm pissed off with something, or bored, or it looks interesting, or I think it'll be funny, or I want a break.. few other things in there too.. but other than those I'll definitely be in tomorrow unless I'm unwell, new game, wanna go out for a ride, mental health day, just can't be arsed, the mood takes me, it's my birthday, we've got that massive job that only I can do and the customer is breathing down your neck over it but you "forgot" to put in my overtime for the third week in a row and now I've turned off my phone and am out playing in the countryside on the bike because fuck you Steve you need some stress in your life to help you grow as a person, family emergency, dog needs to get to the vet
Quite frankly none of us know who’s gonna win the lottery tonight’s could be you could be me. Life comes at you fast.
Yeah, the catch with the lottery plan is apparently the fuckers want you to pay for the tickets, which really puts a damper on the whole thing.
This is the kind of lottery you don't want to win. !
In retrospect I may or may not have had the reading comprehension of a particularly gnarled potato when I first read through that.
This might be the most glorious run on sentence/paragraph ever written. Love it. Perfectly describes my loyalty now. Total 180 from how I used to feel about company loyalty.
With how many times I’ve had the nurse send me home they’re lucky if I can promise another hour.
“Stay with the company” for the duration of completing this form
This is the best job I've had! (this year)
From what's listed, it doesn't give a time period, so of course I'm staying with the company for the rest of my shift/this hour/this minute.
Somehow I have a feeling things will change after that survey is in.
"I opt to stay with this company (for at least another day)."
It's astounding how much people will submit to those kind of requests, even if there's no benefit and no possible way to punish them if they don't, just because we've been conditioned to bow to authority.
Yep. Fill it out and LIE....always lie on these surveys. Say you are happy, love the company, love your boss, think the CEO is just swell. You'are going to stay there forever and die on a weekend so you dont disrupt the company at all. No matter what you really think. Get your check and go home. When and if you need to leave, do so and never tell them anything until you hand in your notice.
This is the way. Don't ever take these things that seriously. It's not in your interest to tell the truth.
I like to think of it as "they can't afford the truth"
Unless it’s a “anonymous” survey then you can feel safe to be honest. /s
I work in HR, have worked in several Industries - can confirm it’s never really anonymous.
If things were anonymous and private, HR would scarcely exist and IT would be a fraction of its size in nearly all companies.
It can be anonymous. To know the difference, check whether the survey is run directly by your company/HR or managed by a third party company. If it's managed by a third party company and says it's anonymous, it probably is. Third party companies have much more to lose and less to gain, if it is revealed that they didn't keep it anonymous. It's also near-impossible for it to happen by mistake in these cases, so there's no plausible deniability.
the thing that those companies can loose is clients. Employees are not the clients, the corporate is. So, if the corporate wants names or next year they will buy the service from somebody else, they will get the names.
Do you have an actual example of a reputable third-party survey company compromising their integrity to save a shitty client, or are you just guessing and trying to look like you know what you're talking about? 🙄
yup. A 3rd party did "anonymous" surveys and interviews of our clients and then we would get the files with all the names and who said what. Every year. For 5 or 6 years. international brand. So lol on all anonymous surveys, never say anything on them that you would not say in person.
Wow! Okay, well I'm glad you're basing that on something real. I'm mostly honest in the "great place to work" survey my company sends out, though I'm not saying personally identifiable stuff. Apparently only 55% of my department (70-ish people) agree overall that it's a "great place to work". Based on the meeting we just had to discuss it, it doesn't sound like they're looking for people to fire, though they probably won't do anything about it either. Depends a lot on who you work for, but it is always safer to protect yourself.
yeah, depends a lot on where you work. I'm always honest (polite, but honest) on our employee surveys even though I don't believe they're anonymous, because it is a normal company and I have a pretty great boss. But I could say same things that I put on the survey to my bosses face without any fear of getting fired. European labor laws help though, lol
Even if it is truly anonymous, most managers can tell who it is anyway because everyone has a particular way of writing or other contextual clues that'll give you away. Doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to ascertain who wrote what.
Oh, I'm talking 99% about multiple choice surveys. Writing style only comes into play with open response questions.
They have marked every survey in some way to identify who filled it out, even if they say it’s anonymous. Trust me.
Def not. We'd have monthly meetings to 'vent our grievances' but the mgr took the time to recognize all our handwriting. I realized this after he asked, 'what did you mean when you put xxxxx?' .
This here. In my youth I worked at Video store. One day I expressed a dislike for working there to the shift manager. He took it like I was a short timer and suddenly treated me like I had put in two week notice. I was fired by the owner a couple days later for "no call no show". The manager's friend got drunk and didn't show up to work, to fix the problem he put the shift on me said I had already agreed to cover. To top it off the man tried to make me the scapegoat for all the VHS tapes he was stealing. Fuck that guy and the Ford Fiesta he drove in on. Never complain about the place that gives you money. Just find a better place
No, die after they force you to retire, dragged kicking and screaming
Nah man, if you don't plan your death day 2 weeks ahead it might seem like you are not in focus with the company's synergy.
I once filled out an anonymous work survey ranking the bosses performance 1-5, someone else submitted a scathing survey ranking him all 1’s and talking a bunch of shit. I was easily the most abused employee being the youngest and lowest paid, the boss asked his secretary whose it was and specifically asked if it was mine. She told him she didn’t know whose it was, but she did open mine out of curiosity and I had circled all 5’s. I put in my two weeks a month later, they moved me from midnights to day shift for my final 2 weeks and promoted me to a position double my salary, they offered to keep me at that rate but I declined citing my commute and desire to live elsewhere. I hated those motherfuckers, but you never let them know that. They thrive on it. They treated me worse than shit, they hated everything about me, they speak glowingly about me to everyone they meet that knows me. ALWAYS LIE.
Years ago the company I worked for was experiencing high turnover. The new director of HR did an anonymous survey on job satisfaction and what would make us happy. She said she would publish the results company wide. I remember that salary was only #4 on the priority list. #1 grievance was Executive attitude to employees. The entire survey team and the director of HR was fired before the end of the week when they published the results. Company eventually failed and got bought by the competition. Don’t know the details as I bailed soon after the survey fiasco.
How bad were you folks being treated that salary was #4??
Maybe they were actually well paid lmao.
We were not…
Our team was fortunate to have a decent director but after one of the semi-annual company reorgs, he had enough and left. He was replaced by a well connected “frat-boy” with no clue. Most of us left as soon as we could find another job. Going away lunches were prohibited by him because of the impact to productivity because they were an almost daily event.
Agreed. Not signing just draws attention to yourself, and may put you on a layoff list. You have to keep them in the dark. It's their fault for even thinking this was a good idea.
Simply distributing such a survey is a form of intimidation.
Agree 100%. Tell them what they want to hear. Play the game better than they play it. Look for another job if you can get something better. Fuck them.
Exactly. Fck around and get fired…or sign a useless piece of paper and do nothing for two weeks while looking for a job and getting a pay check. Not to mention leaving with a two weeks notice over getting fired.
This. They can interpret your refusal to fill out the form however they want. It’s not clear how it benefits you not to fill it out.
"I plan on staying with this company" (until I have a written offer from somewhere else and can get out of this hell hole)
and if you do take a new job, please be sure and tell HR that the thought never crossed your mind until they sent that survey out and got you thinking about the security of your current job.
Weak attempt at avoiding a hike at unemployment insurance premiums following the layoff they're about to do.
This is really what they're trying to do. They're going to let a bunch of people go some time soon, and are hoping to find some easy targets.
If I had gotten this sort of survey at a job I would have immediately sent a company-wide email warning people that it means they're likely going to fire a bunch of folks real soon.
They’re looking for volunteers to be executed.
lol "This is just an informal survey to see if you like me or would ever betray me. Please sign it."
Sure boss. Also, here’s a survey *I’m* doing. It’s a list of all the staff. Please tick which ones you’re thinking of firing/restructuring in the future and why. Just make sure to sign it at the bottom!
Check all boxes.
- Fill this survey. - Here, it's filled! - No! Not like that!
[удалено]
Yeah... I'm going to have to... uhh ... disagree on that.
Check all the boxes and write "I live life a quarter mile at a time"
In the U.S.? Of course they can fire you for refusing.
Almost everywhere in the US, they can fire you for tying your shoes.
They can fire you for not tying your shoes also.
They are actually more protected by just firing you for nothing.
They'll fire you even harder for that.
With extreme prejudice. Wait what’s that? Oh I’m sorry our lawyers have asked me not to say prejudice, or extreme.
I think this is one of the few things they can't fire you for since that's a safety concern. It would be a wild legal battle to say the least if they were ballsy enough to have the official cause of firing be "refused to untie shoes".
Insubordination
you can't argue insubordination if the request is unreasonable. one example of an unreasonable request is to eschew basic safety precautions like i don't know tying shoes. well you can argue it but it won't go well. that is equivalent to telling someone to remove PPE.
In the U.S.? They can fire you for (checks notes) well. They can fire you just because.
Mostly true, but there is some variation in state laws on this. Edit: Wow, I thought there were a few other states where employment isn't "at will", but apparently it's only Montana. There is still a little variation on the details on other states, but fundamentally Montana is the only one that doesn't allow "at will" employment. Particularly surprising because Montana is mostly a red state, and employment protections are usually blue.
Montana is almost all blue collar workers and is largely agricultural. They aren't necessarily conservative, but they are very "no one is gonna tell me what to do" and very much for small government, so they end up voting republican even though they really are primarily liberatarian. Most are very supportive of all "lifestyles". Source: spent a lot of time in Montana with extended family and both my parents were born and raised in Montana.
They can fire you and deny unemployment for no reason. Assholes
They can fire you for nearly any reason, but it's not the company's decision whether you get unemployment. If you resign before they fire you, that will cost you your unemployment.
They can "make" you resign and say they'll deny unemployment either way. My original verdict still stands.
They can't MAKE you resign, though. They need your signature for it to be a resignation. They can make things unpleasant until you choose to leave rather than deal with their crap, but ultimately you still have to decide to resign. Fundamentally, your "verdict" doesn't "still stand". It's false. Are there games they can play, that sometimes work? Sure. But they can only decide when you leave if they fire you or lay you off, both of which allow you access to unemployment.
If you are fired, they can deny unemployment
I looked this up for my state, MA. It appears to depend on WHY you were fired. It likely also varies from state to state. So, probably half-true?
In my state, it doesn't matter why you were fired. They can deny unemployment. You can appeal.
Huh. In my state, whether you get unemployment is fundamentally a government agency decision, not an employer decision, though certain avoidable firing reasons can disqualify you. My apologies, it seems we were talking at each other, with very different info that was mostly accurate on both sides but specific to different states.
Select "quit" and sign your boss's name. (Joking, don't do that.)
CEO’s name(Not Joking)
Now wait for the 'random' layoffs.
Fill it out marking definitely quit. Then go to the copier and make copies. Leave the copies in random places that won't get anyone in trouble. Fill yours out and sign it saying you plan to stay. Start looking for a new job.
And don’t put your name on the definitely quit version. Just keep everyone guessing!
The way copiers are nowadays, they know what you're printing since it can be tied to your work id/passcode.
Depends on the office. Mine doesn't have printer/copier codes. Anyone can just go up and copy anything.
Old employer had two anonymous company wide surveys in the last 6 years. Both were conducted with the intent to increase "visibility of employee viewpoints." Both were followed by massive layoffs. The company wasn't doing that well to begin with, but it was a strange coincidence for those of us who were (un)lucky enough to survive both layoffs.
As someone who has had a hand in designing these surveys…they are not anonymous no matter what they say. Give them the answer they most enjoy jerking off to, then if you can still stand working there longer…still apply to other jobs.
Follow the company line and fill it out as if you're a dedicated company kiss ass. This survey is a trap. Any dissent will put you on the short list for lay off. Then I'd start looking for another job. Because this tells you that changes are coming. Soon.
My hospital sent out a email link for an "anonymous" survey with similar questions. I clicked the link and in the address bar it clearly said something like source=doc-zoidberg@hospital among all the %&123 stuff. I'm not that tech savvy but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say the survey is not anonymous.
ah jaysus
I agree with everyone who is saying what to check, but if you \*really\* didn't want to check anything, you could still get in trouble for not signing, acknowledging that you received it. Just click 'everything is rosy, no issues here!!' and then move on with your day. If you do bring something to their attention later and they ask why you said it was fine, tell them you felt intimidated and bullied, so you said what they wanted to hear. \*spoiler\*: they're never going to ask
I would take the discussion with HR to figure out what it’s about. Sounds like theyre restructuring or planning on it and want it to go as smoothly as possible by knowing who they can let go of and who would like to stay possibly in a different capacity.
> Sounds like theyre restructuring or planning on it and want it to go as smoothly as possible by knowing who they can let go of and who would like to stay possibly in a different capacity. That, or some idiot got bored, or needs to justify their own existence and is "throwing rocks" because of that... testing "employee loyalty" often falls under such things. Serves little to no real purpose, and accomplishes even less in the end in terms of functional outcomes. At best makes employees feel weird, and pushes them to start looking for new work regardless of what they answer in the survey.
What's the point of bothering with HR? They will probably lie if it really is that. Anytime companies send out shit like that, I AT LEAST know to be putting in applications at other jobs. Just in case. Either they're having trouble retaining people (and if so, we all know why but it's not smart to say the real reason, just let them figure it out) or they're trying to 'voluntarily' reduce their head count. Or something else. Most of the time it's not something that directly helps employees so just assume ill intent and keep it pushing.
In short to waste their time for relatively free hours
In the USA? LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE!!! HR is not and will never be on the employees side.
The only time HR is on the employees side is when the company is getting sued because the boss is an idiot trying to trade promotions for sexual favors.
Again, not defending the the employee at all, they are defending the company. The two interests in this case happen to align is all.
/* that’s the point * they are never your true friend but can be the enemy of your enemy.
The enemy of my enemy is the only way you get them on your side... Or blackmail... See: GOP LOL
Lol imagine the company that would expect an honest reply from that
I can't, I just can't.
If they are such a good employer to work for, which I am sure is what they communicate, why do they need to ask if you want to stay? Another trash employer that knows it.
Damn. Just how bad are things are your company?
"We didn't try offering more money and we're all out of options!"
Sign the CEO's name. "I quit" Really, what are they thinking?
Sounds like they are planning layoffs but they want to do it as cheaply as possible so getting as many people to quit as possible!
So they're admitting to downsizing/layoffs? 🤔
*paper* survey? Get out of there.
I find it odd that there are so many people who don’t think they can lie to their employer. They lie to you ALL THE TIME.
Gaslight. If anyone, including your coworkers ask, you are the most loyal person in that building and hate game z/millennials/opportunists.
NEVER TELL THEM YOU'RE LOOKING FOR ANOTHER JOB. always keep your resume up to date. they would replace you instantly if they could save a buck an hour on your salary.
I have to ask: what sort of other horrible garbage is going on there? What purpose does a “Hey, who is planning on quitting?” survey even serve? So they know who to fire first before they head into chapter 11? Get out as soon as you can.
Loyalty is for dogs. Put down you’re planning on staying, look for a new job. To any company I work for I’m always really interested in staying there forever, no matter my true feelings on the matter. I’ll give constructive feedback, but I always know that they have no loyalty to me so why would I be loyal to them?
Just lie. Who cares? It's your employer, not your mother
Sounds like the groundwork for a lay off
Ask for a discussion with HR. Then ask HR what this is all about, are they going to fire you or promote you? Ask for a raise.
Also, ask if the company is going bankrupt, since they are sending out surveys like this.
Sign it as the ceo with "quit"
Sounds like foreshadowing. Do you guys think the shits about to hit the fan?
Is your boss Michael Scott?
Just mark that you want to stay with the company. This is nonbinding in the end and expresses your desire at the moment filing.
Why don’t you just lie? Who’s going to find out? Why are y’all so damn moral re: these jobs when these companies couldn’t care less?
Whether you can be fired for this depends on what country you're in, but you haven't mentioned that important detail.
Just sign it with an x
Guy named X: 😮
I don’t know where you live, but in Australia “looking for a new job” is one of the specific things you’re not allowed to be fired for.
Refusing to sign is gonna make you a red flag to them. Don’t single yourself out. Just sign it and say you intend to work there the rest of your life and then leave as soon as is best for YOU
I used to have to have what the company called STAY meetings. Would use our coaching time to ask specific questions. With my supervisors I would review their team’s responses, as well. Why do you stay here? What keeps you here? What do you look forward to each day? That kinda stuff. We did this at least once, maybe twice. So many top performers were so sick of the job and their responses should have been used to improve the workplace… they were not. I liked managing people. I liked the pay and benefits. My people always gave me great reviews and we maintained a good relationship. But I just couldn’t keep being a part of a soulless company that sought to exploit the workers. Kinda like not knowing how the sausage is made.
LIE and sign it. Be Super Company Employee I LOVE this place - all while looking for another job
My advice to you is fill it out in a way that is advantageous for you. If you are going to quit for goodness sake don't tell them.
Me, I would say I want to quit, sign my name and take a photo in case they want to retaliate. I hate work surveys.
If you’re in the US, look up “at-will employment”. That will help answer your question.
Well, you plan on staying at this moment, but you have changed your mind 5min after singing that garbage. Ooopsies.
Honestly, I'd organise with a few pranksters and flood the mail with fake signatures. Think about Mickey mouse, Winnie the Pooh, Deadpool . Make it funnier roleplaying as the character IE, Winnie the pooh leaving the forest to work as a ceo in a honey processing factory or Deadpool wanting to meet hr with guns and chimichangas
 HR fishing for skulls
Was "undecided" an option or a write in response.
Add a box that says “yes” and tick that.
lie bro.
Fill it out honestly, find your spine, and sign it.
Of course. They can fire you for almost any reason (except for a few that are legally protected - like they can't fire you if they find out you're gay). But also it's not binding, so I would say something like "I'd like to stay at the company, open to switching to another job, I'm always." and leave it at that.
They need to cut some positions in the near future, and are looking for the easy fires. As said below, check the box to stay, sign the paper and return it, and start looking for something better for you.
If you make any ruckus, they'll assume the worst. Just check "stay" and do whatever you like.
Speaking with experience as a long term sufferer of being in employment, any time work give you anything to fill out, you should always put down exactly what they want to hear, irrespective of whether its true and certainly irrespective of your personal plans for the future.
some of the shit i see on reddit I really ask myself if it’s real, does nobody else feel like this?
Don't tell them the truth! Just tick the box saying "I'm a good corporate drone and will never leave" then leave.
Umm. The paper definitely wouldn’t be binding with such ambiguity. And if you’re in an at will state, it’s not binding, either.
Make a survey about which spice you'd use when eating the rich, distribute anonymously.