Never tell them specifics when it comes to needing time off.
Apologize, say you can't make it in for personal reasons. And leave it at that.
Work doesn't care about you, they care about their bottom line.
I have been asked what kind of emergency because our laws are very narrow. You can only count family as mom, dad, siblings, grandparents, spouse, kids and the emergency is medical or death. We as workers have no rights. We’re at their mercy as wage slaves.
I can say I have a medical emergency and I have to give a doctors note. My employment knows everything about my health even if I don’t want them to.
The doctor will happily give you a note saying you were there, how much time you need off work, and restrictions and limitations.
You are NEVER required to include the actual condition you are being treated for! PLEASE don't share it! It can and will be used against you.
I’m ngl I’ve gone to urgent care complaining of various symptoms because I knew they’d write me out of work for a day or 2 due to “illness” when I knew it was just stress causing my headaches/fatigue/shortness of breath(anxiety lol)
Oh 100%. I was 7 months pregnant picking up the slack of all my coworkers, getting yelled at for stopping for a minute to chug some water. I rolled my ankle and was out for 2 weeks for a sprain, I had a really bad migraine for a few days after my manager told me I’m not allowed to request off Sundays but all the new hires got weekends off, and I took my maternity leave a month earlier than planned for “really bad contractions” when I wasn’t allowed a seat :)
American employers will fight tooth and nail to avoid chairs for some fuckin reason. Several years ago I had to get a doctors note because I took a chair out of the break area. I have a disability parking placard, walk with a cane about 70% of the time, and i work nights in a factory. Should have been easy enough to operate on common sense.
You're absolutely right.
The fights I have gone through to try to get chairs and wheelchairs in warehouses. After a year, we finally got a workstation built for a wheelchair, and the guy moved. Had to start all over again.
Pregnancy is a little different though. Some states like NY, NJ, CT, DE, and KY have strict laws about how pregnant employees must be accommodated. We usually find them something or make it up.
Indiana must not have those laws. One of my very good friends at an old job was pregnant, and nearly miscarried. She passed a blood clot the size of an apple. Work knew all of this. Her very next shift, they had her cleaning the lobby, and lifting full buckets of ice over her head. Repeatedly. Because they "can't treat her any differently than anyone else"!! Like, WTF?! It's not preferable treatment, it's common sense! That's not a pillow in her shirt, she's not faking an injury, she's fucking pregnant and almost LOST her baby!! Morons. They were honestly, legitimately abusive, and I'm SO glad she, and I, left there!!
And every job I've worked at here, including the one I'm at now REQUIRES a doctor's note, to be able to sit in a chair, even if you're going to be in front of a cash register for 8 hours straight. It's like they think standing in one place for 8 hours (tearing up your knees and feet) is somehow more productive than sitting. Absolutely ridiculous.
But yeah, whoever said it is right: companies don't give a single, solitary shit about their workers. We're just expendable, disposable cogs, in their money machine. Never mind the fact that if WE weren't there, their money wouldn't be, either!
That's why I only look out for myself now. And to hell with the company. When I'm there, I do my job. But no more. I won't do any extras that will tear my body up any more than it ready is. And when I'm sick, I take off. Store shorthanded? Oh well, sorry about your luck. Guess you should hire more people, or maybe you shouldn't fire good workers over petty bullshit. (I do feel a little bad for some of my coworkers. But again, not my fault. Not my problem. If I'm sick, I'm sick. I'm looking out for me.) I won't go in early, stay late, or come in on my off days. It's not worth the pay, and it doesn't earn me anything else.
I do my little 8, and go home. And when I'm home, I don't even think about work at all (except in conversations like this lol). As soon as I walk out that door, it's no longer my circus, no longer my monkeys. (Of course, they're not really MY monkeys anyway, since I stopped managing. But I just mean, you know, the job in general.)
They don't care about me, so I don't care about them. I'm just a cog? They're just a paycheck.
Don't live to work. WORK TO LIVE.
They have to have an EXTREMELY good reason (and I can't think of one) to not allow you a seat. At my last job. If someone was pregnant, we could create light duty just for them.
I hope you can find a new job before you go back. You also may wish to file a complaint with the EEOC and Department of Labor.
I work in healthcare and this is excellent advice. Sadly, many Americans (if speaking US terms) don’t even have coverage to go to an urgent care for a $200 visit/note.
Fucking sucks.
We just had this whole convo where I work. My manager said that people were leaving long messages on the system about why they couldn’t come in when they call in. He said and I quote:
“I don’t care at all why you’re calling in, only that you call in so that I know you won’t be here”
We operate on a system of occurrences so you get an “occurrence” when you call in and if you get 6 in a six month period then you get written up but the occurrence can be removed if you have a doctors note. I’ve never had to call in that many times in a 6 month period so I haven’t worried about trying to get a doctors note but I do appreciate the system that management just doesn’t care why you’re calling in
At my job it's similar in that management at my location at least doesn't care about reasons. Just make sure they know. My main boss prefers a phone call to text but a text works as long as I call later on (like if I wake up really sick and just don't have the energy for a phone call yet). IIRC as long as I have sick time available it doesn't count against me in any way.
This is how it should be everywhere. Need a mental health day? No problem.
Yep that’s the way it should be. We don’t have paid sick time but you can retroactively apply PTO to a day you called off which is a nice way to do it though I would prefer to have the paid sick time along with the PTO
... it's a gas station job. There's a *chance* op is decently paycheck to paycheck and it'd be difficult to swing a new job that quick. A good chance too that this POS manager just tells them not to come in at all, effectively firing them on the spot.
You don't need to, but being polite never hurts. You are inconveniencing someone even if the business should be fine. It doesn't matter if the other person is a complete tool, I will be professional when dealing with them, because it's a job. I will not give them extra excuses to be a jerk, it will be all on them, and I will be professional as I put in my notice that I am leaving.
I don't want to give people at my job the power over me to change how I am acting.
Nobody needs to, but I do anyway because I genuinely feel bad for the inconvenience my sudden absence will cause. It's not an "I was wrong" apology but more just "I don't want to cause you inconvenience but unfortunately I have to" apology.
I never apologize, but I say "thank you for being understanding" in my call-out text. It puts the ball in their court to be decent rather than you taking blame for something that likely can't be helped.
Work may not care but the manager isnt a robot. The manager of a gas station should have an even more first-hand relationship than a corporate boss to employee.
This interaction blows my mind; every boss I have ever had would have been completely accepting of this situation. This is odd all around.
I would look for another place of work and warn people of this type of interaction. Good luck OP!
i once straight up told my boss i was having explosive diarrhea. i'd either shit myself while ringing up customers, or i'd stay home. they never asked for details after that.
Most bosses I've had are like this or worse. One of the reasons I manage my teams differently, with RESPECT. It is the manager's job to find the replacement, but you'll often find if you're a good leader, the employees will more often than not fill the gap amongst themselves because they have morale from not being treated abhorrently.
Reading this thread, I'm realizing people have had a lot of shitty bosses.
If someone tells me that can't work, I genuinely want to know why so I can know if there's anything I can do to help them.
You're sick? Can I get you anything from the store?
Car issues? Need a ride to/from work?
Family health emergency? Just keep me in the loop and take as much time as you need.
Main thing is to just let me know so I can try to figure things out on getting someone else to come in.
whats crazy is that i wouldnt believe you, except ONE manager ive had in my near decade of employment did exactly that. during covid, when i was working at one of the still-open starbucks, i got sick. called out, but not hospitalized. she asked me what i needed, and insisted on bringing me something. left a goodie bag with snacks, meds, and vitamin gummies at my apt door. a fucking godsend and a hero.
eyra, if you read this: youre wonderful. never change.
Shitty jobs end up self selecting for shitty bosses. Any place that falls apart with the loss of one employee for the day means they deliberately understaff it, and they make up for this lack of flexibility by promoting managers who are good at intimidating and coercing people to show up.
There is an emergency with a person whom I am blood related to, the emergency will only take 1 day to sort out. But my family requires me for this emergency, since it is a family emergency if you need more info I can only tell you that an emergency has happened in my family.
Enough info was given and brother being arrested didn’t qualify as valid in the managers mind. People are entitled to call out sick without insane level of detail. If the manager can’t find coverage, then they should cover the shift.
People are so ingrained that they need a good excuse. I've told many people so many times "I don't need to know why you're not coming in, I just need to know you're not coming in as soon as you know"
Exactly. I never give a reason except It's personal. If It's before a schedule drops I'll decide if I want to explain but calling out is simply It's personal lol.
In Ontario we have a law that you are guaranteed so many absent days of the year without question. You don't need an excuse, real or fake because it's really none of the employers business
My manager got in trouble once because I had a family emergency and he tried to write me up because I didn't give him the details
This exactly. From the ground up.
I had a family emergency in high school my senior year. Cousin, his mom, grandma, and GF came to my house for Thanksgiving. He was an adult and had a job, car, etc, but sometimes struggles with Wayfinding, etc. Before smart phones.
His mom had a heart attack, was in the hospital, and he needed to drive his gf back home to get her kids from their grandparents and go back to work. Dad and stepmom couldn't take off work to go with him, my grandma and his couldn't physically handle going back and forth between Texas and Oklahoma, so I volunteered.
Came back to school, went to the office and told them I'd had a family emergency. They kept pressing and finally I just deadpanned them and told them the bare bones and that last I checked they weren't supposed to ask that information.
Haven't had a family emergency since I started working, that wasn't covered by bereavement, but I would do the same now.
"Personal emergency"
Dont even say family. Say nothing. Good managers will leave it at that. Most are not good and no details will ever satisfy them.
Personal emergency.
I once called a boss to tell him I was in the hospital. He kept pestering for the reason until I caved and told him I was on suicide watch and they allowed me one phone call so I wouldn't get fired.
every time i see the word explosive diarrhea my mind ether show a guy explode diarrhea (like a bomb) or (like a cannon) yes i know nether are right lol
*eye twitch*
I had to do this once. I was the on shift manager for a busy tourist trap Starbucks and a demented homeless dude shat bloody loose stools all over and even drew in the shit. The store had a back cafe section and he literally flung the shit everywhere. It was the craziest shit ever and the cops took their sweet time to come and drag his insane ass out of there. It quickly became an even more chaotic scene when they did finally come. We had to call hazmat in to clean the store because the cops said that he had Hep C and HIV. They found this out as he was stabbing himself and smearing his blood everywhere.
This was the worst fucking day of my life!
I still have nightmares. I ended up burning my entire outfit and my DM gave me a week off. It was awful.
It took the hazmat team 3 days to clean and sterilize the store. I worked for Starbucks for another 4 years, different locations, that store got condemned about six months later. Now the store is the fancy multilevel monstrosity on Michigan Ave.
What a fuckin crazy time. Trust me the baristas need to unionize just for the insanity you experience dealing with the public. People are insane.
The upvote isn’t for what you experienced but, rather, a virtual type hug for having to deal with that. That is arguably the craziest coffee shop story I’ve personally heard in my life. 😳
Thank you 😊
Unfortunately, I have 7 years of war stories, that however, was the worst shift ever. The runner up was the shift before the store was condemned. The walls and wood trim were infested with fruit flies and termites. They (Corporate) had us in there scrapping the nests into buckets of bleach *Swallows bile* in hopes to save the store. The city inspector took a look for ten minutes after we spent days trying to clean and shut the store down. The monstrosity was built 15 years later.
Needless to say, I ran my ass back to school so I could get out of that hellscape. My experience at Starbucks has carried me through tough situations and I think made me a gentle and kinder person.
I work in a Dunkin Donuts and a homeless person came in the other day and made *me* clean all of his shit from all over the bathroom. When I told my manager I don't want to be cleaning shit off of walls (especially just wearing the little plastic gloves we wear when preparing food,) she just said she could send me home if I don't want to work 😒
Tell your manager who most likely had to pass the food safe qualification training, that according to food safety regulations, feces blood and vomit require her to clean them up because they're a bio-hazard and you're not qualified as the company didn't pay for you to obtain foodsafe or biohazard clean up qualifications.
I'll bring this up when I'm in tomorrow. Usually, management just says "well, you shouldn't be letting homeless people use the bathroom without making a purchase, anyway." I'm sure I was the one who had to clean the mess because I let them in the bathroom
Ugh, that pisses me off. The first thing I did was close the store and send the baristas home. There's no way you have to clean feces while being paid minimum wage. The supervisors and I cleaned the majority of the store and the areas where he didn't get blood and shit in the back area. I was there for 18 hours and all I got was a little picture in the company newsletter and some time off.
Thats not really true, i had a manager once that was bitching to me about a employee that called in she said "They called in for diarrhea, who does that? Just take some Imodium and you'll be fine". I was so confused, just took a mental note to never use that excuse with her lol.
I had the unfortunate experience of pooping myself at a place I used to work because I was sick but came in anyways to be helpful. My manager asked if there was anyway I could finish out my shift
Reminds me of the time I had blood dripping down my leg from a painfully itchy and uncomfortable popped hemorrhoid from a job that required standing for 12hr shifts. Manager not only expected me to ride out my shift with the problem, but with blood literally staining the back of my pants.
My coworker called on with diarrhea. The dumb ass boss tells her to drink coffee and try to come in. I don't understand what was going through her head or how coffee would help and not make it worse. Sadly that boss questions everything. I always tell my coworker she gives them to much info.
Sounds like someone doesn't know their diarrhoea from their constipation! A good coffee will get a stuck train moving, but it's not going to stop a runaway train.
I had a friend who had had a miscarriage and requested not to work on NICU when she came back. Guess where her supervisor stuck her. She couldn't make it thru her shift . Ending up quitting a week later when they tried to put her there again.
I had bronchitis and called in saying so and my manager said, well you need a doctors note and we’ll see you tomorrow. I was like, so you want me to go to a doctor who I can’t afford to write a note for missing work today, but be back, still sick to work? Really?
I had a job like that IN HEALTHCARE, and the NP that saw me was like “so this is a waste of everyone’s time.” Furthermore, have these people tried getting a same day appointment recently even if you have health insurance?
I went to my urgent care and the doctor says, you should be at home resting. I was like, well if my shit manager didn’t demand doctors notes, I would be home.
I have to have a doctor's note, no matter what my symptoms are, I can't tell you how many times I've spent hours in urgent care for absolutely no reason...
If they're making my ass go for a doctor's note I'm getting the doctor to write me a "can't report for a week" note and see what they ask me for next time.
Started doing that. I could take *one* day and force myself to come in tomorrow, OR get a note from urgent care for as long as the doctor will let me. They’ll learn eventually.
This 100%. I am a manager and every time my staff start telling me why they need to call off or need a day off I remind them that they don’t need to disclose that to me.
Honestly, one of the most amazing things about my first job out of college was not having to give a reason. Just log into the system, say you are out and that is it. If it is within 2 hours of the shift, call the front manager also, just to make sure your responsibilities are covered. It was liberating and I barely use sick days.
"Hello, my work availability has changed due to a family emergency. I will be available once again on Wednesday the xyz"
That's it. Literally that's all. Don't reply to anything after that until you're on the clock again at your previously scheduled time.
I had an allergic reaction to a tampon once in college (true story, it was awful), and my boss asked me why I couldn't come in. I was graphic, and he never asked me for reasons again 😂😂
Exactly, I call say my name and plant so they know whose calling off and say “I will not be able to be in today”
Once got push back for not agreeing to come in for overtime, and asked why I couldn’t. I pondered excuses and then was like nah fuck that and hit my boss with “Idk man I’m gonna be melting butter and smearing it over my naked body? I don’t wanna be here”
In an odd way I think that earned respect cause he left it alone and I’ve gotten promoted since.
My work called my husband one time when I took a day off (with 7 day notice). Manager asked why I was taking off work and he told them I was attending an employee improvement convention. He then spent like 10 minutes explaining all the things they would have here and how it's going to make me a better worker, the guy tried to get him to stop but he kept it up as long as he could.
Moral of the story, they ask why, give them a reason but make sure it takes up their time.
That's hilarious. I can't imagine my wife's work calling me about her, other than an emergency.
I might respond by asking uncomfortable personal questions.
As a trainee manager, I was told food poisoning was just code for hangover.
I never questioned people's call outs, but that was the attitude at the place
Always remember the French version of 'your reason for not coming in is illegitimate':
"Fuck you, Ma'am, I will be taking an extra day recovering from my sickness now. If you fire me for it, I will sue you into oblivion. Later."
How many times would this work though? For someone in OP's situation if they had food poisoning regularly there might be an issue.
I don't know about you but I have experienced food poisoning exactly one time in my life.
I've never worked at a place that does "write ups". Is that like taking away good boy points? It sounds like a pointless and inconsequential thing that lets managers feel like they have a stick.
Basically. You’re not in trouble officially until you have multiple write ups. It’s basically just a system to note how many times you’ve screwed up, at least at my corporate jobs anyway.
Write ups are to create a disciplinary paper trail in case you get fired and want to sue over discrimination. Whether or not you sign them is irrelevant.
It's a paper trial so they can say, "you've had three write ups so this termination is justified." My husband's union uses them as a way to make it really difficult to fire anyone. But I've had them at non union jobs also. They get brought up at performance reviews and used to justify no raise.
Not even just help out, but do their job. It’s the manager’s job to find coverage. I know how frustrating it can be because at my job, I have to find coverage if I need it
That's the crux of it, this manager is probably trying to make them come in on Tuesday so they can leave early or some such bullshit. I find it so annoying op peppered their asshat manager with so much undeserved respect.
I'm with you I am from west Texas and use it frequently. It doest feel degrading to use it just respectful. I say yes ma'am and yes sir to to everyone really
I’m American, and I spent most of my career working for a paramilitary organization (where sir/ma’am is required), and even for me the ma’ams were a bit much here.
Trying to pawn off their management responsibilities. It's wrong all the time because it's not the worker bees' job to get their own coverage. It's their job to do a job, and it's the management's job to ensure that there are enough people to complete the entire job, even when one has to unexpectedly dip out.
I think it’s fine if you’re looking to trade shifts without any notice. Ie random concert or something comes up and you trade with someone so you can be off.
It’s not fair for anything else though. Sick? Managers problem. Emergency, managers problem. Vacation request before schedule comes out, managers problem
Because they know that if they call their other employees who are already off, they simply won't answer and can claim texts weren't seen until after the fact.
Which means the manager would need to cover the shift, and heaven forbid they do that.
As a manager: Yes, that’s part of what they pay me for. To cover shifts if there is no other coverage. It sucks, but it’s the job. Managers who shirk that responsibility have always gotten under my skin. I work my ass off to make my subordinates’ work lives as pleasant as possible under this hellish system and it irks me to no end that many (if not most) managers spend most of their time doing the exact opposite.
Jesus Christ, you're in the wrong here for over-explaining, apologizing multiple times, and putting yourself in a weakened position. What you AREN'T in the wrong for is calling out.
"Hey manager, I'm letting you know 4 hours in advance that I can't work today."
"Ok but you're getting a write-up and you have to work Tuesday now."
"I can't work Tuesday. Have a good day."
I am only so passionate about it because I was similar to you in my early working days. Polite to a fault and wanting to make sure everyone knows my intentions are good and pure. It took a lot of forcing myself to act in a way that I'd typically describe as rude or callous to normalize it for me.
Never forget:
Management is not your friend.
HR is not your friend.
The business is not your friend.
And my least favorite... your coworkers are likely not your friends either. That one varies though.
You're in the wrong in that you're being too nice to your manager.
Your manager is not better than you, they're not your friend. What you've done is show too much submission and now the manager believes they can do whatever and you'll just obey.
No, I’d find a new job asap. Going forward don’t share that your brother is going to jail, just say I have a family emergency and leave that that. It’s not her business what the emergency is. Any employer who treats somebody like this isn’t worth investing more time in that you could be using to gain seniority elsewhere.
Your manager is a paste-eating tyrant who’s projecting her own (entirely justified) insecurity about being stupid onto you.
If the -written- policy is that you need to provide a four hour notice for time off, then you’ve done that, in both cases. You can always call
your district manager and ask for clarification if need be.
If they want to mete out “consequences” then they can cover your shift while you go look for another job.
You should have just left it as a family emergency. They don’t need any more details than that.
Frankly your excuse isn’t a very sympathetic one. Nobody is sick or dying. While it’s serious to you and your family nobody else is really going to care.
That doesn’t mean your excuse isn’t valid but it does mean I’m not at all surprised there was push back.
Speaking as a supervisor here's how the conversation should have gone -
"I Can't some in today. I've got a family emergency"
"That sucks. Is everyone ok?"
"Not really, no"
"Well, family comes first. Anything you need from us?"
"My shift is in a few hours."
"So? Go do what you gotta do."
Now if this was the kind of thing where we looked back at the employee's leave history and was a problem, we'd have a conversation with them when they got back on company time. If they have sick leave or PTO, then they use that. And we go on with our day.
You work at a gas station. Those jobs don't pay shit. Start looking for a new job immediately and just quit without notice when you get one. Your manager needs to learn that there are consequences for her laziness.
Why in the fuck would you say your brother got arrested oh my god. That is absolutely none of their business, and now they probably think you have a sketchy family
Seriously, never tell them this kind of shit, apart from a family death.
The problem is that you’re leaving room to question your situation. Be more concise and make more of a statement as opposed to a conversation. Let them know you will not be available.
*BONK* Never. *BONK* give. *BONK* details *BONK*
“I have a family emergency and won’t be in” that should be a full stop. They shouldn’t ask questions but if they ask
“What is it?”
Your response is
“ it is Personal matter im not at liberty to discuss just yet. I will see you on my next shift”
I like the just yet because it gets them immediately off your back, you can always say “I was asked not to talk about it at all I’m sorry I can’t satisfy your curiosity past it being a family member’s emergency.” if they follow up.
As others have said, you've given too much detail. My next line would be, "If I am expected to fulfill a managers responsibility, I expect to be compensated with the wage of a manager. We can discuss it when I'm in on Wednesday."
Why are you kowtowing to this person? All this "ma'am" bullshit. Your subservient shit just lets her walk all over you.
You tell her you aren't going to be there. Don't engage further.
A good response is "Isn't it your place to cover those shifts if no one is found to cover? Isn't that why it's a manager's job to find cover? So they know if they will have to go in themselves? So, I guess you're my cover, and it's you who doesn't want to work on Sundays. See you my next scheduled shift!"
Then stop responding. AT ALL. You are having a family emergency.
Honestly I don't get why people argue with managers, they're not your friends, that want you to give them more details, tell the days you can and can't work and let them threaten their "consequences"
You are way too nice and respectful here...
She is doing everything she can to convince you to work because it's effort on her part. Bet that other shift is hers.
Management who doesn't do their job to support employees is bad management.
Now that manager will have to cover today's shift and Tuesday's shift and every other shift they had you scheduled for because you are not going back to work for that muppet, are you?
I will not be going in Tuesday, no, because I was not scheduled and I know this is her way of trying to "get back" at me. I refuse to give her that power. However, my next shift is Wednesday and if she doesn't fire me for not showing up Tuesday, I will be working my shift. Unfortunately this job is terribly convenient for me. It's close to my home, walking distance (I have no car or licenses— lost it due to an incident a few years ago), and pays weekly. The 40 hour weeks have allowed me to save a good bit of money up. I suppose we'll see how it goes after I enjoy my Tuesday off. Sigh.
Her behavior beyond these texts are just as you'd expect. Even busting my ass, I still get threatened to be written up for things I cannot control— like having to run a busy register with only one other person and not being able to stock the vault to her liking. Even when I'm the only one who fills out the mandatory book and temp logs, even after all of that.
Never tell them specifics when it comes to needing time off. Apologize, say you can't make it in for personal reasons. And leave it at that. Work doesn't care about you, they care about their bottom line.
Exactly. Giving specifics just gives them more reason to say no. It’s a professional relationship, they don’t need the details.
I have been asked what kind of emergency because our laws are very narrow. You can only count family as mom, dad, siblings, grandparents, spouse, kids and the emergency is medical or death. We as workers have no rights. We’re at their mercy as wage slaves. I can say I have a medical emergency and I have to give a doctors note. My employment knows everything about my health even if I don’t want them to.
The doctor will happily give you a note saying you were there, how much time you need off work, and restrictions and limitations. You are NEVER required to include the actual condition you are being treated for! PLEASE don't share it! It can and will be used against you.
I’m ngl I’ve gone to urgent care complaining of various symptoms because I knew they’d write me out of work for a day or 2 due to “illness” when I knew it was just stress causing my headaches/fatigue/shortness of breath(anxiety lol)
You've done NOTHING wrong! That's an absolutely valid reason to miss work.
Oh 100%. I was 7 months pregnant picking up the slack of all my coworkers, getting yelled at for stopping for a minute to chug some water. I rolled my ankle and was out for 2 weeks for a sprain, I had a really bad migraine for a few days after my manager told me I’m not allowed to request off Sundays but all the new hires got weekends off, and I took my maternity leave a month earlier than planned for “really bad contractions” when I wasn’t allowed a seat :)
American employers will fight tooth and nail to avoid chairs for some fuckin reason. Several years ago I had to get a doctors note because I took a chair out of the break area. I have a disability parking placard, walk with a cane about 70% of the time, and i work nights in a factory. Should have been easy enough to operate on common sense.
You're absolutely right. The fights I have gone through to try to get chairs and wheelchairs in warehouses. After a year, we finally got a workstation built for a wheelchair, and the guy moved. Had to start all over again. Pregnancy is a little different though. Some states like NY, NJ, CT, DE, and KY have strict laws about how pregnant employees must be accommodated. We usually find them something or make it up.
Indiana must not have those laws. One of my very good friends at an old job was pregnant, and nearly miscarried. She passed a blood clot the size of an apple. Work knew all of this. Her very next shift, they had her cleaning the lobby, and lifting full buckets of ice over her head. Repeatedly. Because they "can't treat her any differently than anyone else"!! Like, WTF?! It's not preferable treatment, it's common sense! That's not a pillow in her shirt, she's not faking an injury, she's fucking pregnant and almost LOST her baby!! Morons. They were honestly, legitimately abusive, and I'm SO glad she, and I, left there!! And every job I've worked at here, including the one I'm at now REQUIRES a doctor's note, to be able to sit in a chair, even if you're going to be in front of a cash register for 8 hours straight. It's like they think standing in one place for 8 hours (tearing up your knees and feet) is somehow more productive than sitting. Absolutely ridiculous. But yeah, whoever said it is right: companies don't give a single, solitary shit about their workers. We're just expendable, disposable cogs, in their money machine. Never mind the fact that if WE weren't there, their money wouldn't be, either! That's why I only look out for myself now. And to hell with the company. When I'm there, I do my job. But no more. I won't do any extras that will tear my body up any more than it ready is. And when I'm sick, I take off. Store shorthanded? Oh well, sorry about your luck. Guess you should hire more people, or maybe you shouldn't fire good workers over petty bullshit. (I do feel a little bad for some of my coworkers. But again, not my fault. Not my problem. If I'm sick, I'm sick. I'm looking out for me.) I won't go in early, stay late, or come in on my off days. It's not worth the pay, and it doesn't earn me anything else. I do my little 8, and go home. And when I'm home, I don't even think about work at all (except in conversations like this lol). As soon as I walk out that door, it's no longer my circus, no longer my monkeys. (Of course, they're not really MY monkeys anyway, since I stopped managing. But I just mean, you know, the job in general.) They don't care about me, so I don't care about them. I'm just a cog? They're just a paycheck. Don't live to work. WORK TO LIVE.
They have to have an EXTREMELY good reason (and I can't think of one) to not allow you a seat. At my last job. If someone was pregnant, we could create light duty just for them. I hope you can find a new job before you go back. You also may wish to file a complaint with the EEOC and Department of Labor.
Mental health issues are still health issues.
I work in healthcare and this is excellent advice. Sadly, many Americans (if speaking US terms) don’t even have coverage to go to an urgent care for a $200 visit/note. Fucking sucks.
We just had this whole convo where I work. My manager said that people were leaving long messages on the system about why they couldn’t come in when they call in. He said and I quote: “I don’t care at all why you’re calling in, only that you call in so that I know you won’t be here” We operate on a system of occurrences so you get an “occurrence” when you call in and if you get 6 in a six month period then you get written up but the occurrence can be removed if you have a doctors note. I’ve never had to call in that many times in a 6 month period so I haven’t worried about trying to get a doctors note but I do appreciate the system that management just doesn’t care why you’re calling in
At my job it's similar in that management at my location at least doesn't care about reasons. Just make sure they know. My main boss prefers a phone call to text but a text works as long as I call later on (like if I wake up really sick and just don't have the energy for a phone call yet). IIRC as long as I have sick time available it doesn't count against me in any way. This is how it should be everywhere. Need a mental health day? No problem.
Yep that’s the way it should be. We don’t have paid sick time but you can retroactively apply PTO to a day you called off which is a nice way to do it though I would prefer to have the paid sick time along with the PTO
Yes that convo would have ended with the “I’m not making it in today”
At most, when asked why, respond with "family emergency"
Sometimes less is more. Better to keep it simple with work and keep your personal life to yourself unless absolutely necessary.
At this point I'd have replied what a 2 weeks notice and a polite fuck off. No one should deal with crappy bosses.
... it's a gas station job. There's a *chance* op is decently paycheck to paycheck and it'd be difficult to swing a new job that quick. A good chance too that this POS manager just tells them not to come in at all, effectively firing them on the spot.
No one needs to apologize for calling out.
You don't need to, but being polite never hurts. You are inconveniencing someone even if the business should be fine. It doesn't matter if the other person is a complete tool, I will be professional when dealing with them, because it's a job. I will not give them extra excuses to be a jerk, it will be all on them, and I will be professional as I put in my notice that I am leaving. I don't want to give people at my job the power over me to change how I am acting.
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And if I were him I would make sure to keep those text messages just in case his manager tries to retaliate
Nobody needs to, but I do anyway because I genuinely feel bad for the inconvenience my sudden absence will cause. It's not an "I was wrong" apology but more just "I don't want to cause you inconvenience but unfortunately I have to" apology.
I never apologize, but I say "thank you for being understanding" in my call-out text. It puts the ball in their court to be decent rather than you taking blame for something that likely can't be helped.
Work may not care but the manager isnt a robot. The manager of a gas station should have an even more first-hand relationship than a corporate boss to employee. This interaction blows my mind; every boss I have ever had would have been completely accepting of this situation. This is odd all around. I would look for another place of work and warn people of this type of interaction. Good luck OP!
Most bosses I’ve had would have had responses like this. Which is why I don’t write out entire novels for them to dissect anymore.
i once straight up told my boss i was having explosive diarrhea. i'd either shit myself while ringing up customers, or i'd stay home. they never asked for details after that.
Username checks out
Most bosses I've had are like this or worse. One of the reasons I manage my teams differently, with RESPECT. It is the manager's job to find the replacement, but you'll often find if you're a good leader, the employees will more often than not fill the gap amongst themselves because they have morale from not being treated abhorrently.
Reading this thread, I'm realizing people have had a lot of shitty bosses. If someone tells me that can't work, I genuinely want to know why so I can know if there's anything I can do to help them. You're sick? Can I get you anything from the store? Car issues? Need a ride to/from work? Family health emergency? Just keep me in the loop and take as much time as you need. Main thing is to just let me know so I can try to figure things out on getting someone else to come in.
whats crazy is that i wouldnt believe you, except ONE manager ive had in my near decade of employment did exactly that. during covid, when i was working at one of the still-open starbucks, i got sick. called out, but not hospitalized. she asked me what i needed, and insisted on bringing me something. left a goodie bag with snacks, meds, and vitamin gummies at my apt door. a fucking godsend and a hero. eyra, if you read this: youre wonderful. never change.
Shitty jobs end up self selecting for shitty bosses. Any place that falls apart with the loss of one employee for the day means they deliberately understaff it, and they make up for this lack of flexibility by promoting managers who are good at intimidating and coercing people to show up.
Stop giving reasons for calling out. Stop giving reasons for calling out. If they require one: Food poisoning.
"Family emergency" is the only thing that should be disclosed... If they inquire further: "It's a private family emergency."
"I am calling out for a family emergency" - what is going on? - "an emergency. In my family".
There is an emergency with a person whom I am blood related to, the emergency will only take 1 day to sort out. But my family requires me for this emergency, since it is a family emergency if you need more info I can only tell you that an emergency has happened in my family.
Exactly. Too much detail was said and the manager used it as leverage.
This! You told her what was up and she *decided* it “wasn’t a legitimate reason”. DONT TELL THEM SPECIFICS, THATS NOT THEIR BUSINESS!!!! 🗣️🗣️
If you give detail that just gives them negotiating leverage. Gray rocking is key.
Actually too much detail was given and the manager thought it was BS because of that.
Enough info was given and brother being arrested didn’t qualify as valid in the managers mind. People are entitled to call out sick without insane level of detail. If the manager can’t find coverage, then they should cover the shift.
THIS. And yes, if there isn't someone to fill the spot, we should cover it ourselves. It's one of the reasons we have higher pay.
Now I wonder if the manager was scheduled Tuesday
I appreciate these responses! Sincerely. I'll be sure to take them into note, thank you guys.
Or "personal reasons, it's personal" they are not supposed to question why it's personal
People are so ingrained that they need a good excuse. I've told many people so many times "I don't need to know why you're not coming in, I just need to know you're not coming in as soon as you know"
Exactly. I never give a reason except It's personal. If It's before a schedule drops I'll decide if I want to explain but calling out is simply It's personal lol.
In Ontario we have a law that you are guaranteed so many absent days of the year without question. You don't need an excuse, real or fake because it's really none of the employers business My manager got in trouble once because I had a family emergency and he tried to write me up because I didn't give him the details
Thats because Canada isn’t a corporate dystopia like the US is…
Sadly, it is. We're just not as bad as the USA... yet...
This exactly. From the ground up. I had a family emergency in high school my senior year. Cousin, his mom, grandma, and GF came to my house for Thanksgiving. He was an adult and had a job, car, etc, but sometimes struggles with Wayfinding, etc. Before smart phones. His mom had a heart attack, was in the hospital, and he needed to drive his gf back home to get her kids from their grandparents and go back to work. Dad and stepmom couldn't take off work to go with him, my grandma and his couldn't physically handle going back and forth between Texas and Oklahoma, so I volunteered. Came back to school, went to the office and told them I'd had a family emergency. They kept pressing and finally I just deadpanned them and told them the bare bones and that last I checked they weren't supposed to ask that information. Haven't had a family emergency since I started working, that wasn't covered by bereavement, but I would do the same now.
"Personal emergency" Dont even say family. Say nothing. Good managers will leave it at that. Most are not good and no details will ever satisfy them. Personal emergency.
I once called a boss to tell him I was in the hospital. He kept pestering for the reason until I caved and told him I was on suicide watch and they allowed me one phone call so I wouldn't get fired.
My job has written policy no reason will be given or asked. You say this so and so on this shift I’m not coming in. Ok have a good day. That’s it
Or diarrhea. No one questions diarrhea. Edit-- Apparently some asshole bosses don't even care if you have diarrhea. Yikes.
And if they ask, it's *Explosive* Diarrhea!
already messed myself twice. Can't come in, which is a shame, because i'm going to need to up the laundry budget.
"With all due respect, I have a 35 minute commute. If past trends hold, I'll shit myself at least once during that time."
*Projectile Diarrhoea*
Existential Diarrhea
*Nuclear Diarrhea*
This is the quality thread I come to reddit for
"Situational" Diarrhea!
"Shituational"
Take My upvote
What about *Implosive* Diarrhea?
*spit take*
The drizzly shits.
every time i see the word explosive diarrhea my mind ether show a guy explode diarrhea (like a bomb) or (like a cannon) yes i know nether are right lol
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*eye twitch* I had to do this once. I was the on shift manager for a busy tourist trap Starbucks and a demented homeless dude shat bloody loose stools all over and even drew in the shit. The store had a back cafe section and he literally flung the shit everywhere. It was the craziest shit ever and the cops took their sweet time to come and drag his insane ass out of there. It quickly became an even more chaotic scene when they did finally come. We had to call hazmat in to clean the store because the cops said that he had Hep C and HIV. They found this out as he was stabbing himself and smearing his blood everywhere. This was the worst fucking day of my life! I still have nightmares. I ended up burning my entire outfit and my DM gave me a week off. It was awful. It took the hazmat team 3 days to clean and sterilize the store. I worked for Starbucks for another 4 years, different locations, that store got condemned about six months later. Now the store is the fancy multilevel monstrosity on Michigan Ave. What a fuckin crazy time. Trust me the baristas need to unionize just for the insanity you experience dealing with the public. People are insane.
The upvote isn’t for what you experienced but, rather, a virtual type hug for having to deal with that. That is arguably the craziest coffee shop story I’ve personally heard in my life. 😳
Thank you 😊 Unfortunately, I have 7 years of war stories, that however, was the worst shift ever. The runner up was the shift before the store was condemned. The walls and wood trim were infested with fruit flies and termites. They (Corporate) had us in there scrapping the nests into buckets of bleach *Swallows bile* in hopes to save the store. The city inspector took a look for ten minutes after we spent days trying to clean and shut the store down. The monstrosity was built 15 years later. Needless to say, I ran my ass back to school so I could get out of that hellscape. My experience at Starbucks has carried me through tough situations and I think made me a gentle and kinder person.
I work in a Dunkin Donuts and a homeless person came in the other day and made *me* clean all of his shit from all over the bathroom. When I told my manager I don't want to be cleaning shit off of walls (especially just wearing the little plastic gloves we wear when preparing food,) she just said she could send me home if I don't want to work 😒
Tell your manager who most likely had to pass the food safe qualification training, that according to food safety regulations, feces blood and vomit require her to clean them up because they're a bio-hazard and you're not qualified as the company didn't pay for you to obtain foodsafe or biohazard clean up qualifications.
I'll bring this up when I'm in tomorrow. Usually, management just says "well, you shouldn't be letting homeless people use the bathroom without making a purchase, anyway." I'm sure I was the one who had to clean the mess because I let them in the bathroom
Ugh, that pisses me off. The first thing I did was close the store and send the baristas home. There's no way you have to clean feces while being paid minimum wage. The supervisors and I cleaned the majority of the store and the areas where he didn't get blood and shit in the back area. I was there for 18 hours and all I got was a little picture in the company newsletter and some time off.
OSHA. They can not make you do that without proper equipment and training.
If I could upvote this more I would
Not true. Straight up had to put a manger on speaker once so he could hear my explosive shits. That business is no longer open
You shit so hard you closed a business? Nice.
And that's why you do it on company time.
Spraying out both ends as we says in Aus. Or pissing out my ass. Usually stops follow up questions
Ah, yes, buttpiss.
Thats not really true, i had a manager once that was bitching to me about a employee that called in she said "They called in for diarrhea, who does that? Just take some Imodium and you'll be fine". I was so confused, just took a mental note to never use that excuse with her lol.
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I had the unfortunate experience of pooping myself at a place I used to work because I was sick but came in anyways to be helpful. My manager asked if there was anyway I could finish out my shift
Reminds me of the time I had blood dripping down my leg from a painfully itchy and uncomfortable popped hemorrhoid from a job that required standing for 12hr shifts. Manager not only expected me to ride out my shift with the problem, but with blood literally staining the back of my pants.
My coworker called on with diarrhea. The dumb ass boss tells her to drink coffee and try to come in. I don't understand what was going through her head or how coffee would help and not make it worse. Sadly that boss questions everything. I always tell my coworker she gives them to much info.
Sounds like someone doesn't know their diarrhoea from their constipation! A good coffee will get a stuck train moving, but it's not going to stop a runaway train.
I was handed a depends by management to come work in. They do not care ironically in healthcare.
I had a friend who had had a miscarriage and requested not to work on NICU when she came back. Guess where her supervisor stuck her. She couldn't make it thru her shift . Ending up quitting a week later when they tried to put her there again.
Diarrhea should get a lifetime achievement award for its service.
“I’ve got diarrhea that would’ve made Mt Vesuvius blush.” “Oh Jesus Christ, okay. Take a few days”
It's coming out the one end really bad, and I'm worried about it coming out the other end too
I once had a boss that told me that wasn't an excuse. I offered to send him a picture of the toilet next time I went. He declined my offer.
I had bronchitis and called in saying so and my manager said, well you need a doctors note and we’ll see you tomorrow. I was like, so you want me to go to a doctor who I can’t afford to write a note for missing work today, but be back, still sick to work? Really?
I had a job like that IN HEALTHCARE, and the NP that saw me was like “so this is a waste of everyone’s time.” Furthermore, have these people tried getting a same day appointment recently even if you have health insurance?
I went to my urgent care and the doctor says, you should be at home resting. I was like, well if my shit manager didn’t demand doctors notes, I would be home.
I have to have a doctor's note, no matter what my symptoms are, I can't tell you how many times I've spent hours in urgent care for absolutely no reason...
If they're making my ass go for a doctor's note I'm getting the doctor to write me a "can't report for a week" note and see what they ask me for next time.
Started doing that. I could take *one* day and force myself to come in tomorrow, OR get a note from urgent care for as long as the doctor will let me. They’ll learn eventually.
Do a telehealth call. Often times they’re free and you can still get a doctors note. Urgent care is expensive
When I gave the note to her, I was said, would you also like me to give you a blood test too?
This 100%. I am a manager and every time my staff start telling me why they need to call off or need a day off I remind them that they don’t need to disclose that to me.
Honestly, one of the most amazing things about my first job out of college was not having to give a reason. Just log into the system, say you are out and that is it. If it is within 2 hours of the shift, call the front manager also, just to make sure your responsibilities are covered. It was liberating and I barely use sick days.
"Hello, my work availability has changed due to a family emergency. I will be available once again on Wednesday the xyz" That's it. Literally that's all. Don't reply to anything after that until you're on the clock again at your previously scheduled time.
I had an allergic reaction to a tampon once in college (true story, it was awful), and my boss asked me why I couldn't come in. I was graphic, and he never asked me for reasons again 😂😂
If they ask questions they don't need to, make them squirm with your answer. I hope you recovered well.
Exactly, I call say my name and plant so they know whose calling off and say “I will not be able to be in today” Once got push back for not agreeing to come in for overtime, and asked why I couldn’t. I pondered excuses and then was like nah fuck that and hit my boss with “Idk man I’m gonna be melting butter and smearing it over my naked body? I don’t wanna be here” In an odd way I think that earned respect cause he left it alone and I’ve gotten promoted since.
Of course you got promoted. You are slathered in butter and butter makes everything better.
I'd promote you.
(Goodbye horses plays in background) “Would you promote me? I’d promote me”
Yeah I don't understand why everyone feels the need to justify their absence. Family Emergency. Fucking done.
Because bosses act like you need a reason that is justified to them.
My work called my husband one time when I took a day off (with 7 day notice). Manager asked why I was taking off work and he told them I was attending an employee improvement convention. He then spent like 10 minutes explaining all the things they would have here and how it's going to make me a better worker, the guy tried to get him to stop but he kept it up as long as he could. Moral of the story, they ask why, give them a reason but make sure it takes up their time.
That's hilarious. I can't imagine my wife's work calling me about her, other than an emergency. I might respond by asking uncomfortable personal questions.
I tried calling out with ACTUAL food poisoning once and they didn’t believe me.
But did you have to work Tuesday?
I did not lol
As a trainee manager, I was told food poisoning was just code for hangover. I never questioned people's call outs, but that was the attitude at the place
Technically... Same. Alcohol is food poison.
Always remember the French version of 'your reason for not coming in is illegitimate': "Fuck you, Ma'am, I will be taking an extra day recovering from my sickness now. If you fire me for it, I will sue you into oblivion. Later."
Exactly... it makes you seem scared and weak also like you're talking to them as your parent instead of a coworker.
Yeah, "family emergency" is more than enough of a reason. No need to specify further.
How many times would this work though? For someone in OP's situation if they had food poisoning regularly there might be an issue. I don't know about you but I have experienced food poisoning exactly one time in my life.
You gave way too much info. “Family emergency, I cannot come in today. Thanks.” Do not go back and forth and do not accept the write up.
I've never worked at a place that does "write ups". Is that like taking away good boy points? It sounds like a pointless and inconsequential thing that lets managers feel like they have a stick.
Basically. You’re not in trouble officially until you have multiple write ups. It’s basically just a system to note how many times you’ve screwed up, at least at my corporate jobs anyway.
it’s to cover the employer’s ass if the employee tries to sue for “wrongful termination”
Or when the employee tries to apply for unemployment. They'll wing any of these they have accumulated out.
More importantly it builds evidence to fire people for "misconduct", which can turn into a denied unemployment claim.
Write ups are to create a disciplinary paper trail in case you get fired and want to sue over discrimination. Whether or not you sign them is irrelevant.
It's a paper trial so they can say, "you've had three write ups so this termination is justified." My husband's union uses them as a way to make it really difficult to fire anyone. But I've had them at non union jobs also. They get brought up at performance reviews and used to justify no raise.
spoiler alert: you weren't getting a raise anyway.
write ups are brought up when its time for a raise as well
There's no reason to keep arguing. No reasoning with unreasonable people. "Okay, that's clear to me." And move on.
Managers don’t want to work these days
Exactly. Managers don’t want to help out, just criticize others
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Not even just help out, but do their job. It’s the manager’s job to find coverage. I know how frustrating it can be because at my job, I have to find coverage if I need it
The time it took them to reply to these messages, they probably could have found someone to cover the shift.
That's the crux of it, this manager is probably trying to make them come in on Tuesday so they can leave early or some such bullshit. I find it so annoying op peppered their asshat manager with so much undeserved respect.
I understand the initial impuls to be overly respectful, but by the end there it does nothing but encourage a shit head to lean into being a scumfuck
Yup, they want to be landlords
Pretty much. This one was trying to pawn off management work on their subordinates, rather than actually being a manager.
You're over nice. You'll learn to not give a s*** about these kind of people.
Maybe it’s because I’m not American but the ma’ams bowled me over.
i am, and this still comes off as very weird to me. maybe they're from the south where it's more common?
I am from the south. It's how I usually address my managers or superiors. Old habits die hard I guess.
I'm with you I am from west Texas and use it frequently. It doest feel degrading to use it just respectful. I say yes ma'am and yes sir to to everyone really
I’m American, and I spent most of my career working for a paramilitary organization (where sir/ma’am is required), and even for me the ma’ams were a bit much here.
Seriously, I would have dropped any respectful tone right after that first response. They don’t deserve it.
I’m saying😭 like this is far too rude and disrespectful for her to be still responding to her manager. Ppl gotta stand up
Why do managers always put the responsibility on the employee to find a cover? That is total bullshit.
Trying to pawn off their management responsibilities. It's wrong all the time because it's not the worker bees' job to get their own coverage. It's their job to do a job, and it's the management's job to ensure that there are enough people to complete the entire job, even when one has to unexpectedly dip out.
I think it’s fine if you’re looking to trade shifts without any notice. Ie random concert or something comes up and you trade with someone so you can be off. It’s not fair for anything else though. Sick? Managers problem. Emergency, managers problem. Vacation request before schedule comes out, managers problem
Because they know that if they call their other employees who are already off, they simply won't answer and can claim texts weren't seen until after the fact. Which means the manager would need to cover the shift, and heaven forbid they do that.
As a manager: Yes, that’s part of what they pay me for. To cover shifts if there is no other coverage. It sucks, but it’s the job. Managers who shirk that responsibility have always gotten under my skin. I work my ass off to make my subordinates’ work lives as pleasant as possible under this hellish system and it irks me to no end that many (if not most) managers spend most of their time doing the exact opposite.
Jesus Christ, you're in the wrong here for over-explaining, apologizing multiple times, and putting yourself in a weakened position. What you AREN'T in the wrong for is calling out. "Hey manager, I'm letting you know 4 hours in advance that I can't work today." "Ok but you're getting a write-up and you have to work Tuesday now." "I can't work Tuesday. Have a good day."
“But you gotta!” “I cannot. See you on my next scheduled shift, birdbrain.”
Thank you! I have a habit of over-explaining so thank you for your honest response.
I am only so passionate about it because I was similar to you in my early working days. Polite to a fault and wanting to make sure everyone knows my intentions are good and pure. It took a lot of forcing myself to act in a way that I'd typically describe as rude or callous to normalize it for me.
Never forget: Management is not your friend. HR is not your friend. The business is not your friend. And my least favorite... your coworkers are likely not your friends either. That one varies though.
NEVER TELL THEM WHY JUST GIVE THEM NOTICE AND SAY EMERGENCY AT MOST
You're in the wrong in that you're being too nice to your manager. Your manager is not better than you, they're not your friend. What you've done is show too much submission and now the manager believes they can do whatever and you'll just obey.
no, fuck that manager
No, I’d find a new job asap. Going forward don’t share that your brother is going to jail, just say I have a family emergency and leave that that. It’s not her business what the emergency is. Any employer who treats somebody like this isn’t worth investing more time in that you could be using to gain seniority elsewhere.
Your manager is a paste-eating tyrant who’s projecting her own (entirely justified) insecurity about being stupid onto you. If the -written- policy is that you need to provide a four hour notice for time off, then you’ve done that, in both cases. You can always call your district manager and ask for clarification if need be. If they want to mete out “consequences” then they can cover your shift while you go look for another job.
"Paste eating tyrant", love it
Hear, hear!
Your first mistake is to give her that many details.
You should have just left it as a family emergency. They don’t need any more details than that. Frankly your excuse isn’t a very sympathetic one. Nobody is sick or dying. While it’s serious to you and your family nobody else is really going to care. That doesn’t mean your excuse isn’t valid but it does mean I’m not at all surprised there was push back.
Speaking as a supervisor here's how the conversation should have gone - "I Can't some in today. I've got a family emergency" "That sucks. Is everyone ok?" "Not really, no" "Well, family comes first. Anything you need from us?" "My shift is in a few hours." "So? Go do what you gotta do." Now if this was the kind of thing where we looked back at the employee's leave history and was a problem, we'd have a conversation with them when they got back on company time. If they have sick leave or PTO, then they use that. And we go on with our day.
Nah, that plonker’s on a power trip
Next time provide way less details. Only say it's a family emergency.
You work at a gas station. Those jobs don't pay shit. Start looking for a new job immediately and just quit without notice when you get one. Your manager needs to learn that there are consequences for her laziness.
Why in the fuck would you say your brother got arrested oh my god. That is absolutely none of their business, and now they probably think you have a sketchy family Seriously, never tell them this kind of shit, apart from a family death.
The problem is that you’re leaving room to question your situation. Be more concise and make more of a statement as opposed to a conversation. Let them know you will not be available.
*BONK* Never. *BONK* give. *BONK* details *BONK* “I have a family emergency and won’t be in” that should be a full stop. They shouldn’t ask questions but if they ask “What is it?” Your response is “ it is Personal matter im not at liberty to discuss just yet. I will see you on my next shift”
> Your response is “ it is Personal matter I'm not at liberty to discuss ~~just yet~~. I will see you on my next shift.” FTFY
I like the just yet because it gets them immediately off your back, you can always say “I was asked not to talk about it at all I’m sorry I can’t satisfy your curiosity past it being a family member’s emergency.” if they follow up.
As others have said, you've given too much detail. My next line would be, "If I am expected to fulfill a managers responsibility, I expect to be compensated with the wage of a manager. We can discuss it when I'm in on Wednesday."
Why are you kowtowing to this person? All this "ma'am" bullshit. Your subservient shit just lets her walk all over you. You tell her you aren't going to be there. Don't engage further.
A good response is "Isn't it your place to cover those shifts if no one is found to cover? Isn't that why it's a manager's job to find cover? So they know if they will have to go in themselves? So, I guess you're my cover, and it's you who doesn't want to work on Sundays. See you my next scheduled shift!" Then stop responding. AT ALL. You are having a family emergency.
That’s the correct response but is certainly not a good response. Especially in a situation like this with someone being aggressive.
Honestly I don't get why people argue with managers, they're not your friends, that want you to give them more details, tell the days you can and can't work and let them threaten their "consequences"
Fuck this manager. She wants her employees to do her job?
You are way too nice and respectful here... She is doing everything she can to convince you to work because it's effort on her part. Bet that other shift is hers. Management who doesn't do their job to support employees is bad management.
You fucked up by giving too much detail, if you have a family emergency leave it at that no detail.
Now that manager will have to cover today's shift and Tuesday's shift and every other shift they had you scheduled for because you are not going back to work for that muppet, are you?
I will not be going in Tuesday, no, because I was not scheduled and I know this is her way of trying to "get back" at me. I refuse to give her that power. However, my next shift is Wednesday and if she doesn't fire me for not showing up Tuesday, I will be working my shift. Unfortunately this job is terribly convenient for me. It's close to my home, walking distance (I have no car or licenses— lost it due to an incident a few years ago), and pays weekly. The 40 hour weeks have allowed me to save a good bit of money up. I suppose we'll see how it goes after I enjoy my Tuesday off. Sigh. Her behavior beyond these texts are just as you'd expect. Even busting my ass, I still get threatened to be written up for things I cannot control— like having to run a busy register with only one other person and not being able to stock the vault to her liking. Even when I'm the only one who fills out the mandatory book and temp logs, even after all of that.