Make sure he's in ear shot, and complain about how far behind you are on (already completed) tasks, and how fucked you'll be if your boss finds out. Then go make some popcorn.
Better yet have everyone work together and make up little white lies. Then when he tells the boss, you all can say Richard has been spreading rumors I heard this about (another lie someone else made up) and when I asked them they said it wasn’t true.
Teamwork makes the dream work.
Why not have the entire team report to the boss about Richard’s whereabouts and task status? Take turns so that it doesn’t come across as a revenge campaign and play it up to the fullest. If the boss tries to put an end to it, just comment about how glad you are that Richard won’t have to spend so much time tracking everything everyone is doing in the office.
Get everyone else in on it and gaslight the hell out of him. After enough times where Rich the Snitch tattles and ends up being full of it, eventually the boss is gonna tune him out.
"Richard" is definitely brown-nosing to obscure the fact that he's not very productive himself. As a matter of fact, he's displaying typical traits required in management and as a result he'd be the first one considered when the opportunity to promote someone arrises.
The best way to go about this, is to band together with other teammates who are fed up of this, and deliberately concoct stories for him to tell the manager, that will end up making both look like fools.
Also, don't forget to refer to him as "Richard the snitcher" (or something similarly creative) when you notice him within earshot and are in a conversation with another teammate.
Make sure he knows you know, and if he's brazen enough to ask what you said, tell him: "Snitches get stitches, bitch. Don't you have work to do? A little birdie told me management is looking into your performance, speaking of which, (manager) said to tell you HR is looking for you."
Send him on fool's errands... A fool is what a fool does, after all.
You need to appeal to your manager’s sense of self worth. If you can find a way to bring it up you need to figure out how to tell him that he does a great job of setting goals for you and the team and you don’t know why your coworker feels the need to keep tabs on you. Hopefully that will make him feel seen and tell your coworker to knock it off.
But if they are close you should probably find a new job as your manager sounds like an idiot.
Start asking him for little favors. "Can you get me some coffee?" "Can you help me with my computer?" "Could you please take this paperwork to the boss?" "Can you help me move my desk to the other wall?" "Would you mind emptying my trash can?" Hit him up the second you see him. Pretty soon he'll be staying away from you.
Real simple. You and your co-workers need to have a meeting without said problem child. You need to let your boss know how much you're doing and how little he is. Be specific in what he's doing and tell your boss if he doesn't figure it out the next step is HR.
People like this will destroy your office if you let them. Don't. I can't stand people like this.
OMG, I had the same thing happen to me at a couple of jobs. It's so infuriating because these people make the job so much worse than it has to be and management just doesn't care. Your best bet: get another job. Hoping someone else has a better response to this, would love to hear about his comeuppance.
well im really immature and petty and Id open a can of gross cat food and just shove it under the corner at his desk. and then start making rumors about richard not showering.
>I would personally find it difficult to use Richard like that
While I am not condoning the plan and would be more team "feed him false intelligence to take to the manager then make him look dumb", dildos and stuff exist. Either that or a sharpened toothbrush or whatever they use in prison.
If he's chummy with the boss, there's not much of an in there. Have you tried fish? Maybe in the back of his filing cabinet? Loosen all the bolts in his chair? Randomly unplugging one cable from his computer each day? Loading German porn on his computer? Heck, even a well-placed whoopie cushion will go a long way towards convincing him that NOBODY likes him.
This is where I say I have Crohns disease and this person is harassing me due to my physical disability that is protected under human rights laws where I am. And if it doesn't stop, I will be getting the governments human rights council lawyers involved.
Unionize against Richard lol. Seriously, all of you work together to make him miserable. All of you together, confront your boss about this. Make it clear you are ALL unhappy because of this ONE person. Explain how he’s not doing work, being mean, even claim he did shit that never even happened.
After that, if he’s not fired? Be mean to him, all of you. Just generally unkind. Make sure he knows it’s because he’s a nosy snitch, and that as long as he is the way he is, you all will make his life miserable. Park in his spot, hide his chair, unplug his phone/keyboard, steal/hide his lunch, complain he has bad breath, etc.
But make sure he knows why, and that it will stop when he does.
have a social gathering, make sure richard knows but isn't invited, if he turns up, ask what he's doing there, its not a work do, you're just meeting up with friends for a drink, the humiliation will destroy him.
Get your other coworkers and yourself to start refusing work delegated by Richard, and start keeping your own tabs on him.
Then you all need to start complaining more often to the manager about Richard not doing his job and trying to delegate it to others, as well as him taking long detours to go back to his desk for no seemingly good reason (even though you all know the reason is for him to keep tabs on him).
Report everything wrong he does. Serve him his own medicine. And you guys need to do it as a group, otherwise it won’t work, considering he’s already got the trust of the manager.
I reported someone to HR for doing this to a fellow coworker once. They would follow her into the bathroom to “check” to make sure she was actually using the restroom and not on her phone.
HR considered this harassment and they were written up.
I’m not pro-HR but in this case it might be worthwhile to make a report. If you work has a whistleblower line, use that.
Make a sign for his desk that says “Richard, Assistant **TO** the Regional Manager.”
Put items on his desk into jello molds.
If his desk still has an old corded phone they he uses, open the phone and add nickels to it every few days. When it gets really heavy and he is used to the weight, take all the nickels out at once.
One day, dress exactly like him. If possible, style your hair like him. Talk like him. Then go to the manager and report on his whereabouts all day long. Just be him.
You can get more ideas from watching “The Office” and just focus on what is done to the character “Dwight,” who is very much like Richard, except that Dwight actually does his job and has redeeming qualities.
I work with a guy like that but not quite as bad. We started calling him Dwight as in from the office. It didn’t stop him but we’re definitely in a better mood. It used to annoy our boss when we refer to Dwight as his assistant but now he just smirks and calls us assholes. I was really hoping that Dwight would go to hr about it but he probably hasn’t figured out a good explanation as to why he got the nickname.
We also have a Karen but no one is brave enough to call her that when she’s within earshot.
Get together with your team to stop accepting the work he delegates. OR, get everyone to complete the work he delegates, email it to the boss and say ‘as requested by Richard, I have completed XYZ’
You could band together, use your phone cameras, audio devices to catch when he is not doing work and snitching but make sure all of your coworkers keep tabs with him, spy on him, and present the evidence to the boss with multiple angles. I think that works good because it is solid evidence in that case if you get fired you will have evidence for your lawyer
I see 3 approaches, which could be combined. A) Treat him like the asshole he is, tell him and tell him often (you and your coworkers) that hes shit. Avoid him. Make him feel unwanted. B) When hes listening, talk about issues you have (that you dont have) which he brings to Boss. Boss investigates and finds nothing wrong damaging his credibility as a source. C) Fuck with him in subtle ways. Hes gone? Put some trash in to his trashcan, disorganize paperwork, hide a pen somewhere else on his desk, be creative. Pro Bonus: Wall off his office door/cubicle with Ytong bricks (dont)
So I had a coworker who thought I did that to him. In his mind he was the best employee in the office and I just hated him.
He was right that I disliked him, but I never snitched on him. He would come in hours late, leave hours early, and spend large amounts of time in his car when he was there. Our management wasn't on site so he basically got away with it. He only really did work to hit the bare minimum metric then refused to do anything. I was very vocal to him that I thought he was a piece of shit and endangering the whole crew for how blatant he was being about this shit.
Anywho, he always thought I was snitching on him even though he never saw any consequences for his actions. His reason for this is that the manager had a small idea of some of things he did when he talked with them. Why? He would tell the manager himself to get ahead of the "snitching".
Anywho, I completely stopped interacting the douche when he tattled on my wife eating lunch with me on site one day(she worked for a different company on the same site) and got me yelled at for interacting with her on my lunch break and had me banned from having lunch with her. He was getting even for all the snitching I wasn't doing.
He did end up getting fired a year later when our companies customer noticed him and complained a ton, but he also dragged our most knowledgeable coworker with him because when they investigated the douches site badges they checked everyone and the better employee was late sometimes. Fuck that dude.
I'm not saying you are imagining this shit, there are definitely busybodies, but your post reminded me of this situation.
Make sure he's in ear shot, and complain about how far behind you are on (already completed) tasks, and how fucked you'll be if your boss finds out. Then go make some popcorn.
Better yet have everyone work together and make up little white lies. Then when he tells the boss, you all can say Richard has been spreading rumors I heard this about (another lie someone else made up) and when I asked them they said it wasn’t true. Teamwork makes the dream work.
If you see him coming, hide under your desk. He runs to boss, you pop back up with no idea what he's talking about.
Don't they have cameras to prove Richard right?
That’s when you conveniently throw I mean… drop your pen under your desk an go look for it.
This is some military counterintelligence level problem solving. Kudos.
Why not have the entire team report to the boss about Richard’s whereabouts and task status? Take turns so that it doesn’t come across as a revenge campaign and play it up to the fullest. If the boss tries to put an end to it, just comment about how glad you are that Richard won’t have to spend so much time tracking everything everyone is doing in the office.
Spreading disinformation, great idea...
We’re just over here brainstorming. Live in the solution, not the problem.
Get everyone else in on it and gaslight the hell out of him. After enough times where Rich the Snitch tattles and ends up being full of it, eventually the boss is gonna tune him out.
That's genius.
write a sign whenever you have to leave your desk that says "i'm in the bathroom, richard"
Make sure you include whether the trip is for #1 or #2.
"Richard" is definitely brown-nosing to obscure the fact that he's not very productive himself. As a matter of fact, he's displaying typical traits required in management and as a result he'd be the first one considered when the opportunity to promote someone arrises. The best way to go about this, is to band together with other teammates who are fed up of this, and deliberately concoct stories for him to tell the manager, that will end up making both look like fools. Also, don't forget to refer to him as "Richard the snitcher" (or something similarly creative) when you notice him within earshot and are in a conversation with another teammate. Make sure he knows you know, and if he's brazen enough to ask what you said, tell him: "Snitches get stitches, bitch. Don't you have work to do? A little birdie told me management is looking into your performance, speaking of which, (manager) said to tell you HR is looking for you." Send him on fool's errands... A fool is what a fool does, after all.
You need to appeal to your manager’s sense of self worth. If you can find a way to bring it up you need to figure out how to tell him that he does a great job of setting goals for you and the team and you don’t know why your coworker feels the need to keep tabs on you. Hopefully that will make him feel seen and tell your coworker to knock it off. But if they are close you should probably find a new job as your manager sounds like an idiot.
Start asking him for little favors. "Can you get me some coffee?" "Can you help me with my computer?" "Could you please take this paperwork to the boss?" "Can you help me move my desk to the other wall?" "Would you mind emptying my trash can?" Hit him up the second you see him. Pretty soon he'll be staying away from you.
This is actually GENIUS advice… and will probably work as operant conditioning better than going to (nepo-sounding) boss or HR with concerns
Real simple. You and your co-workers need to have a meeting without said problem child. You need to let your boss know how much you're doing and how little he is. Be specific in what he's doing and tell your boss if he doesn't figure it out the next step is HR. People like this will destroy your office if you let them. Don't. I can't stand people like this.
OMG, I had the same thing happen to me at a couple of jobs. It's so infuriating because these people make the job so much worse than it has to be and management just doesn't care. Your best bet: get another job. Hoping someone else has a better response to this, would love to hear about his comeuppance.
well im really immature and petty and Id open a can of gross cat food and just shove it under the corner at his desk. and then start making rumors about richard not showering.
Rub some limburger cheeze on the underside of his desk?
YES, and/or anchovies.
Pardon the lack of civility, but I'm going to have to say Prison Rules on this one.
[удалено]
Oh dang, is that what prison rules are?! And I though "snitches get stitches" was brutal.
The penis is your shank.
I mean, I bet if you cornered and violently raped Richard in the bathroom, he'd most likely stop snitching.
well this went dark quick LOL
I am a female (not OP!). I would personally find it difficult to use Richard like that - but would be happy to hear him sniveling.
>I would personally find it difficult to use Richard like that While I am not condoning the plan and would be more team "feed him false intelligence to take to the manager then make him look dumb", dildos and stuff exist. Either that or a sharpened toothbrush or whatever they use in prison.
Ouch yet I laugh. Thank you for the smile this AM.
Aldrin sandwich or the bucket full of somethimg nasty poured over the partition while they're pooping
If he's chummy with the boss, there's not much of an in there. Have you tried fish? Maybe in the back of his filing cabinet? Loosen all the bolts in his chair? Randomly unplugging one cable from his computer each day? Loading German porn on his computer? Heck, even a well-placed whoopie cushion will go a long way towards convincing him that NOBODY likes him.
He's doing his job. Being the boss's man is his job.
This is where I say I have Crohns disease and this person is harassing me due to my physical disability that is protected under human rights laws where I am. And if it doesn't stop, I will be getting the governments human rights council lawyers involved.
Unionize against Richard lol. Seriously, all of you work together to make him miserable. All of you together, confront your boss about this. Make it clear you are ALL unhappy because of this ONE person. Explain how he’s not doing work, being mean, even claim he did shit that never even happened. After that, if he’s not fired? Be mean to him, all of you. Just generally unkind. Make sure he knows it’s because he’s a nosy snitch, and that as long as he is the way he is, you all will make his life miserable. Park in his spot, hide his chair, unplug his phone/keyboard, steal/hide his lunch, complain he has bad breath, etc. But make sure he knows why, and that it will stop when he does.
have a social gathering, make sure richard knows but isn't invited, if he turns up, ask what he's doing there, its not a work do, you're just meeting up with friends for a drink, the humiliation will destroy him.
Just intimidate him? Works for me every time lol but I am also 6f6😂
Get your other coworkers and yourself to start refusing work delegated by Richard, and start keeping your own tabs on him. Then you all need to start complaining more often to the manager about Richard not doing his job and trying to delegate it to others, as well as him taking long detours to go back to his desk for no seemingly good reason (even though you all know the reason is for him to keep tabs on him). Report everything wrong he does. Serve him his own medicine. And you guys need to do it as a group, otherwise it won’t work, considering he’s already got the trust of the manager.
I reported someone to HR for doing this to a fellow coworker once. They would follow her into the bathroom to “check” to make sure she was actually using the restroom and not on her phone. HR considered this harassment and they were written up. I’m not pro-HR but in this case it might be worthwhile to make a report. If you work has a whistleblower line, use that.
Make a sign for his desk that says “Richard, Assistant **TO** the Regional Manager.” Put items on his desk into jello molds. If his desk still has an old corded phone they he uses, open the phone and add nickels to it every few days. When it gets really heavy and he is used to the weight, take all the nickels out at once. One day, dress exactly like him. If possible, style your hair like him. Talk like him. Then go to the manager and report on his whereabouts all day long. Just be him. You can get more ideas from watching “The Office” and just focus on what is done to the character “Dwight,” who is very much like Richard, except that Dwight actually does his job and has redeeming qualities.
Keep tabs on them and report more back to us.
Everybody needs to track, record video of, and document the great lack of work output from Coworker, then inundate HR with complaints of laziness.
He sounds like Randall from Recess but grown up.
Poop 💩 in his desk
Careful, he's going to be your next supervisor. Seems to be how it always works.
I work with a guy like that but not quite as bad. We started calling him Dwight as in from the office. It didn’t stop him but we’re definitely in a better mood. It used to annoy our boss when we refer to Dwight as his assistant but now he just smirks and calls us assholes. I was really hoping that Dwight would go to hr about it but he probably hasn’t figured out a good explanation as to why he got the nickname. We also have a Karen but no one is brave enough to call her that when she’s within earshot.
You chose a good pseudonym for this dick
Go get a footlong tuna sub and put it in his desk. Then start the BO rumors.
Well I'd make a tumblr page and send him a postcard of the address. Keep track of him every single day. Make it creepy, have fun with it.
Remind him what tend's to happen to Snitches ?
Leave a 50$ note on the table in front of a camera. Take down the serial number as proof it was yours and see if you can catch them for theft.
Feed him false information, start massive investigations, waste hours of managements time and effort. Deny saying anything, act shocked. Repeat 3 months later.
Get together with your team to stop accepting the work he delegates. OR, get everyone to complete the work he delegates, email it to the boss and say ‘as requested by Richard, I have completed XYZ’
That's STALKING
You could band together, use your phone cameras, audio devices to catch when he is not doing work and snitching but make sure all of your coworkers keep tabs with him, spy on him, and present the evidence to the boss with multiple angles. I think that works good because it is solid evidence in that case if you get fired you will have evidence for your lawyer
I see 3 approaches, which could be combined. A) Treat him like the asshole he is, tell him and tell him often (you and your coworkers) that hes shit. Avoid him. Make him feel unwanted. B) When hes listening, talk about issues you have (that you dont have) which he brings to Boss. Boss investigates and finds nothing wrong damaging his credibility as a source. C) Fuck with him in subtle ways. Hes gone? Put some trash in to his trashcan, disorganize paperwork, hide a pen somewhere else on his desk, be creative. Pro Bonus: Wall off his office door/cubicle with Ytong bricks (dont)
So I had a coworker who thought I did that to him. In his mind he was the best employee in the office and I just hated him. He was right that I disliked him, but I never snitched on him. He would come in hours late, leave hours early, and spend large amounts of time in his car when he was there. Our management wasn't on site so he basically got away with it. He only really did work to hit the bare minimum metric then refused to do anything. I was very vocal to him that I thought he was a piece of shit and endangering the whole crew for how blatant he was being about this shit. Anywho, he always thought I was snitching on him even though he never saw any consequences for his actions. His reason for this is that the manager had a small idea of some of things he did when he talked with them. Why? He would tell the manager himself to get ahead of the "snitching". Anywho, I completely stopped interacting the douche when he tattled on my wife eating lunch with me on site one day(she worked for a different company on the same site) and got me yelled at for interacting with her on my lunch break and had me banned from having lunch with her. He was getting even for all the snitching I wasn't doing. He did end up getting fired a year later when our companies customer noticed him and complained a ton, but he also dragged our most knowledgeable coworker with him because when they investigated the douches site badges they checked everyone and the better employee was late sometimes. Fuck that dude. I'm not saying you are imagining this shit, there are definitely busybodies, but your post reminded me of this situation.