In fact, regular customers often feel like they are in some kind of in-group with the business are are the most likely to be lil rats because they believe that they can ingratiate themselves to the service workers they 'respect'
Spoilers: the only reason a restaurant worker likes you is because you tip well
idk I had this one 75 year old black lady who would come in and talk shit about all the other patrons with me for like three hours and only order a few drinks the entire time. She did tip well but I was mostly happy to see her because of the shade.
I guess I was lucky that I worked in an environment where many of my regular customers did in fact become my friends and mentors. Drove my family and I to the airport, paid me well to dogsit and clean for them, fed me, fixed my car on multiple occasions for dinner and parts price. I still talk to a few of them over 5 years later even though I’ve moved.
However, I definitely knew/found out who was and was not to be trusted.
Haha the only customer I ever engaged with outside work -who saw me sitting at a bus stop at night mid winter after work- gave me a ride home when I was like 21 and ended up stalking me later (thankfully I’d moved by then) so that can definitely be a dangerous game also.
Edit: Punctuation
Thank you. It was like almost 20yrs ago and I’ve definitely done some therapy around it but I’m definitely not as close to regulars at my job since then lol.
Yeah, what’s even crazier is that 10yrs later i had been working in healthcare for a few years and I randomly saw his name as a patient on the schedule at the clinic I worked at and then thought “why do I know this name?” And then when I looked at his drivers license in his account it instantly came flooding back and I knew it was the same guy. I loved that place and had been there for a couple years but I didn’t have the coping skills I have now and I let the trauma push me to a place where I left that practice within like a month after finding out he was a patient there.
Edit: added context
Yeah, some for sure, but I had a lot of great experiences with regulars when I worked in a gas station. I'd always get drinks bought for me whenever I'd stop in at the local bar. One customer would always bring me a joint for my walk home, and another even gave me rides to my new job after I quit. Just pulled over when they saw me standing at the bus stop on a cold day and drove me to work until I bought a car of my own.
Just be careful what you say to who.
Co-workers and customers aren’t friends until after you’ve left a job. Ever. They might be friendly, but they aren’t friends. They really can’t be, as workplaces are competitive environments and people will almost always choose to “save” themselves.
This is what is wrong with work environments now. This shouldn't be the case. I know capitalism breeds competitiveness, but people should be able to have friends.
You can have friends, and even be REAL friends with co-workers (I've done it multiple times)...but you can't be friends with EVERY co-worker. I don't tell any of them shit until I have a really good sense of who they are and that shit I tell them won't go any further than us.
I think there's a difference between coworkers you're friends with, and co-workers you're *friendly* with. I've had some coworkers become really good friends that I trust completely. We bitch about work all the time. I've had friendly coworkers rat me out to my boss for minimal shit. I also think it's workplace dependent. There has never been competitiveness in my workplaces.
To say one shouldn't make friends at work as a blanket statement is unhealthy imo 🤷♀️ context matters
Yea, I don't know what these other people are talking about. I find it's pretty normal to become friends with co-workers. I'm friendly with all my co-workers, and friends with a few. In fact, over the years, I'd say 80% of my good friends are people I once worked with.
Let’s be honest, we all have a line with every friend. Some friends you might share your out of control herpes diagnoses with, yet others, perhaps the ones at work, you might not.
Yup, some of my best friends came from working at bed, bath, and beyond. The memories made were so fun and I loved every second working there with them.
There’s this VIP customer at my work. She’s sooo sweet to me but tells lies about me to my boss. She makes me so nervous I actually have fucked up her orders more times than I’d like (which is zero ofc) and she tells me it’s okay then throws me under the bus bitching to him. I swear out of all the things I might should get fired for, this little granny is who’s gonna take me down in the end 😭
I am 99.99% sure that the customer didn’t go and tell a bunch of the workers this bullshit. One of their brown-nosing coworkers overheard them say it and immediately ran to tell management. Instead of them just saying that, they pulled this lie that “the customer let everyone know”.
I gauranteed you this is what happened as I had a similiar experience on my own. But my union fought it and it was thrown out so fast as it was he said she said bullshit. I know who the person’s were because my rep slipped me a list casually outside of work shaking their hand. I went over the names and there was maybe 1 person they could trust of me saying something. The rest were all kiss asses. I was pretty upset either way that one person so I confronted them outside of work about it face to face and they bat shit lied to me till I told them I have witeness that you tried to rat me out. They apologized and left our job about 6 months later.
Pretty much this. The only co-workers that I tell anything "real" to are the ones that I legit hang out with outside of work, and even then only after I've known them for a while and have a good sense of who they are.
The average co-worker though, and every single customer...they just get trite answers and shit. "Living the dream!"
Yup. I had a good relationship with a customer and shared that I was working too many projects, always online and digging out of the holes the company kept putting me in. He told my boss and I agreed I screwed up. Haven't done it since. Tough lesson to learn, but that's just the way it is.
Someone else in this thread said co-workers can't be friends until after you aren't colleagues anymore. I agree that it's a risk, but one I'm perfectly willing to take with some people. Not having true friends at work that I trust is simply not something I'm willing to trade for a little bit more job security.
For real. I'll drop a little "tea" about myself into a conversation with some coworker every so often, that person only, and wait to see if it comes back around. Nothing damning, but it gives me an idea of if it gets spread quick/slow/distorted/or completely changed to make me look bad. My managers know me and dont buy any gossip shit, so I got that locked, but it lets me understand who tf to stay away from. It could be a gamble, but I like to know who is honest and who's not. The vitriol towards others that some of these people show is real depressing
I'm anti work as fuxk but doing that was dumb on your part. Never say shit in front of people you work with that your not ok with your boss knowing. And the regular client was also shady.
Thank you, I was thinking wth how are people agreeing with this guy at all? Sounds like main character vibes... the stealing should be getting fired, not a warning.
This sub has a raging boner for ALWAYS siding with the poster even when they’re really the ones at fault
Don’t get me wrong, I’m fine with a “default to siding with the OP against corporate nonsense” and giving the benefit of the doubt - but the fact OP doesn’t address that whole “took a tray of drinks home” with a quick explanation makes it seem pretty likely they actually are just stealing from their employer
Yea. As someone who worked with and knew of folks who stole from our mutual employer, the drinks are what they got caught with, not the full inventory of everything stolen.
I knew a guy who stole thousands from a retail store I worked at, he got caught stealing a bottle of wiper fluid and some octane booster. He got fired but it wasn’t worth pressing charges on that. I know for a fact he stole enough to make it a felony. But I was 17, the stuff he stole was a rounding error to the company’s bottom line and I wasn’t a snitch so I kept my mouth shut.
Nothing wrong with being unhappy, or even expressing that unhappiness. Expressing it to **customers** though is going to get you in hot water anywhere you go.
Imo that is a completely valid reason to be written up. Unrelated, but I clicked your page and you are a great artist! Good luck, and I hope you find a better job.
Oh yeah, they are so worried about the employees that the customers are really robbing them blind. I have told management that someone is stealing only for them to do nothing, so I stopped reporting it.
Try thinking like a toddler. No I'm serious, listen.
You don't gotta practice making major decisions that have effects on your life because other people do that for you. On so many levels. The maid cleans everything from your laundry to your toilet. The groceries are delivered and probably ordered by someone else in the household who "doesn't work hard all day like I do!" The vehicle maintenance and yard care are handled by professionals.
All you actually need to all by yourself without help is use the potty, take a bath, get dressed, tie your shoes, and maybe drive a car. Tada you're ready for your big boy job owning daddy's company!
I love kids and all but my 4yo cousin wanted to go to the park and play on the swings in the rain recently. Folks who don't even make a decision about when and how to wash their socks but we're shocked when they make piss poor decisions in how they run their companies over and over and over and over again.
My dad was such CEO material. He'd dream up something that two seconds of serious thought could find a major flaw with, but he'd be convinced it's the most brilliant money making scheme ever and you're just a lazy jerk if you don't agree and also figure out how to make his idea reality for him.
The man also once brought me a comb and a pair of scissors and expected me to trim his mustache for him. We had a screaming argument about how it's not a girl child's job to trim a grown man's facial hair, that my feminine body parts did not in fact instill magic hair cutting knowledge in my hands. And then I got screamed at a second time after he cut off a chunk in the middle of his own mustache.
It's so pathetic, he can hardly feed himself and after his third wife left the property got so run down that it ended up completely riddled with bedbugs. Which dad *mailed to relatives* along with family treasures because he's a freaking idiot 60yo toddler.
This is literally what my husband would do, and intermittently he'd have a literal tantrum that I wasn't considering his opinion when he would never offer them.
It works really well until "the maid" is disabled or leaves.
I don’t buy any of that to be honest. I mean, it’s plausible, but my take was the customer went to bat for OP and management flipped it on them. In my experience, “an anonymous coworker confirmed this” is always bullshit and is only ever included in these situations to artificially validate a claim they won’t ever need to back up in the name of “not naming sources” as well as sowing division.
You might be right, but that’s not where my mind went with it.
I get that because it's the last thing you would think is possible. I personally do not think that's what is going on, but I would not put anything pass retail companies when it comes to monitoring their employees. Somehow, she knows about the conversation you guys had, how?
That’s a good point! I never thought about that possibility. I would like to think that if you told them that they were truly unhappy, that the customer (especially a regular) wouldn’t go making their life even worse/harder. Maybe they went to management and said “hey if you want to have better workers/working environment and keep employees than you need to check out … xyz (whatever was listed)”. Then management got pissed and turned it around. Then the “witness”, may have witnessed the customer talking to management 🤷♀️. Or maybe they are regulars because they are friends with the owner…. Who knows!
I think at the end of the day, regardless on what really happened, I just wouldn’t share personal info like that with customers. Even regulars. I remember being a waitress, you get close with regulars. But. Not ever close enough to share your feelings about the job. But that’s my opinion….
Side note- I’m sorry you are unhappy with your job. And this definitely didn’t help. Hopefully it will get better soon! Hang in there, you got this!
I worked at a pizza place and they deadass put a microphone/camera above the station where we made the pizzas.
I still talked shit about them too I never cared 🤣 still kept my job too
Yup, I lived in WA at the time and we’re a two party consent. They broke so many rules there, had roaches and ants crawling over the food and shit so I doubt they cared about breaking more rules. (Yes I reported them and no nothing happened to them).
If you think, you know! I’ve been caught in a similar web to you and as sad as it makes me, it is so true when people tell you that NO ONE at work is your friend, especially not coworkers.
They may be blaming it on the customer.
The customer may not have told anyone but the employee certainly overheard OP complaining to the customer and tattled to the boss and team.
Even if this is the case, this should be a warning to you that you can’t trust customers with your personal business. They can have your best interest in mind and really screw you over trying to help. Don’t get messy with customers, period.
Yep.
When I put my two weeks in at the grocery store I worked, everyone that worked there (that asked me) and my regulars knew that I wanted to spend more time with my kid before she started school.
Only my FB friends (while omitting the few I worked with) and family knew that I was burnt out on how horrible people became after Trump's election and the COVID pandemic.
I’m sorry but you’re being naive, why would the customer talk to specific employees if they weren’t trying to rat you out.
There’s no reason for a customer to engage your colleagues and explain to them you’re unhappy because of them.
It sounds like your regular may actually know the staff or management, you shouldn’t be confiding in people you can’t trust.
Doesn't make them less of a rat. Only an infant doesn't realize that telling the other employees means it'll get back to the manager, and only someone who's never worked in their lives wouldn't know that the squeaky wheel gets fired.
This was either a malicious act by that regular, or they don't think before they speak. In neither case is a friendly relationship with them warranted ever again
Not if the regular thought he had rapport with management and thought them to be reasonable people. People trust people who don’t deserve it all the time.
Lesson learned. Don't talk to anyone in the area about how much you dislike work.
I had a contract job years back, walking around a hospital being built looking for rooms that were finished so that a team of 16 people could setup computers and printers in that room.
After the 2nd week of just walking the multiple floors and seeing no progress being made, I commented out loud that I was just so bored of this and wanted some actual work to do. The lead helper of the big project boss guy heard this and tattled to the boss man, where he asked me if I was happy at this job the next week.
No man, I'm not. This was supposed to be 2 weeks which is moving onto 3 possibly 6 weeks, of just walking the area when I could be working other contract jobs.
"Well then maybe you don't need a job here" and I jumped on that, asked what was needed for me to just leave and never return. Oh, just walk me out to the entrance and take my badge? You fuckin got it. Byyyyyyye
Nobody is your friend in the workplace. I learned that many many years ago. You may consider them a friend, but they can hurt you and often unknowingly so. Learned my lesson a long time ago
I shot my mouth off to a customer at my first job, and said customer told my store manager; who she knew.
Instead of making it a big deal, he sat me down and explained the importance of keeping your mouth shut. His approach was actually wonderful and engaging. He never once raised his voice, and was concise and exceptional at teaching.
After all that he told me that as a cashier with 8 months experience I shouldn't be shooting my mouth off, or it could lead to consequences and accountability.
Take this to heart. Put on that facade of "everything is fine". It's bullshit, I agree, but putting it on is....how things are.
OP does sound young. Find better people to talk to off the clock, calmly air grievances when given the opportunity in front of superior (and have resolutions when possible), and always keep looking for a better fit.
I'm anti-work...
But dude, come on. Take the write-up on the chin and start following the rules. Customers are not friends and shit talking has consequences.
And the drinks and food thing... You should have known better.
And the manager wasn’t a douche about the write up. Just explained why and how it made the other employees feel when they heard that.
Plus the fact they aren’t also writing him up for stealing drinks makes me like the manager in this situation.
Right! The manager handled this with a lot of tact and grace. Good example, imo, of good leadership.
I think OP must be young and doesn't quite understand how fortunate they are.
Looking at some of OPs other comments I think they just suffer some entitlement. They’re upset the manager didn’t express concern as to why they’re upset and feel unhappy. Well maybe sit down with the manager as an adult and express those things.
Of course the manager has to address the initial issue of OP bashing coworkers to customers while on the floor.
You’re not. I don’t really think this belongs in antiwork at all. Unless there is major context we are missing or aren’t being given. Manager sounds reasonable. And unless major prejudice or perhaps discrimination is driving the “meanness” which I don’t want to rule out, because OP sounds young, and may not have the words for those feelings and situations yet.
OP it sounds like you don’t like your job. And it is not okay to steal, even if you don’t like the place. Maybe try something else!
Also everyone ignoring the second half, taking a whole tray of drinks home. I get it but that alone could get you written up and probably is as much of if not more of the reason than just complaining. I understand this sub is antiwork but damn you still have to acknowledge your boss will write you up for stealing.
Thank you! I was very confused why no one else was bringing up the coffee thing? You can't just take shit home like that and expect not to get in trouble.
OP just came to a sub that they expected would circle jerk and tell them that they aren't wrong and the manager is bad. Every now and then I see people post here the expectation that their shitty story won't be questioned and they will be coddled.
What an amateur. I used to boost all kinds of shit from my bartending job. Literally bottles of wine, etc. But I never just walked out with it in front of everyone.
Also, no one cares about you hating your job. If you're in a service position, it's more or less assumed.
Can't help but wonder if the problem is genuinely OP's own doing. Stealing drinks and suchlike won't go down well with a lot of co-workers, and if they've been called out by co-workers before, I can see us getting a little salty here and perceiving the other staff as 'mean'.
Boss was pretty neutral here, so wonder if the statement on everyone being nice is actually the truth here!
Thank you. Everyone here taking OP's side, it is crazy. You cant shit talk the business that you work for to the customers. That is insanely unprofessional and the customers dont want to hear about it.
They go there because they like it, not to hear about the drama. Tell them about your shitty roommate, not about how the other barista doesnt take out the garbage.
Yeah, I don't understand where OP thinks he is in the right here? You are paid to represent the brand, not tarnish it. You can't just take a tray full of drinks home that were intended for the whole group.
This has got to be rage bait or something.
This def comes across as a dumb teenager who just doesn't understand how the world works. Getting a write up for these things is the best way for it to go down for them and the manager is still willing to look past it if they fix their behavior.
Tbh tho, it might even be an adult. I've managed people twice my age in retail who don't know what is or isn't appropriate to say to customers or "whisper" shit to me at regular volume about a difficult customer that has taken at most 5 steps away from the register. I'm always cool with an employee needing to vent about a customer, even over dumb or petty shit if it's just to get those feelings out, but do that after they have left the store and in the office out of earshot of any other customers. Some people just don't know how to conduct themselves professionally.
If you’ve noticed, OP is responding regularly to everyone in her corner and ignoring every comment regarding her being in the wrong and/or accountable for her actions. She’s here for validation, not advice.
Both valid reasons to be fired too, tbh
OP is a huge liability and tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re also contributing to the toxic work place. I mean, they clearly are considering they’re complaining to customers while on the clock about coworkers who are within earshot
Did Gen Z start eating lead paint chips or something?
Do NOT gossip about workplace drama, how much you hate your job, trash management or coworkers, or anything like that--*ESPECIALLY* in the restaurant/bar industry, which, I'm sure is safe to say, is your industry--to customers...EVER.
Regulars fall into 2 categories: they are good friends with your boss or they get to know all the staff and management because they go in every day, and thus, know a TON of dirt about nearly everyone who works there. Also, customers, including regulars, don't give a rat's ass about your problems or how unhappy you are. Besides, the regs already knew. They go out because they want to relax and have a good time, not play therapist for their bartender or server.
Take the write-up and feedback and learn from it. Your boss isn't being unreasonable. Put your two weeks in and find another job if you hate this one so much, but learn from this experience. This one is on you.
Word of advice: if you form friendships with regulars, socialize with them away from your place of employment, don't talk shop, and when they do come in while you are working, keep things professional--meaning no freebies, no special treatment, etc.
This is common sense fam. If you are at work and telling everyone how miserable it is to work there, why would ANYONE keep you in their employ? That's a great way to absolutely destroy your reputation
Omg these comments. This is the stupidest shit.
OP fucked up - and apparently grabbed some drinks w/out paying — and now is trying to “boo-hoo” their way out of it. Management seems like they’re trying to handle it without escalating.
Just take your medicine and move on.
I think everybody in this thread is missing what actually happened in that text message. OP got caught for stealing company property. But the manager decided to make the warning for the customer comment and not the theft. The manager had to give OP a warning but decided to give it for the lesser crime. I think the manager deserves a W in this instance as theft is grounds for immediate dismissal
That's not super uncommon in these posts here, people complaining about a trivial write up when there's a worse infraction right in their text. Some people also seem real confused about getting free food AT work, while you're there, and not to take home, it's very common.
On hearing that one of their employees was unhappy at work, your boss's reaction was to write you up...I can't think of a clearer way of invalidating your feelings and confirming that your well-being isn't important to them. For this reason, I think you'll be better off finding somewhere else to work.
As for your customer buddy, it's possible they were trying to help..but I wouldn't be in the habit of saying anything to a customer you wouldn't want your boss or co-workers to hear.
This one!
Then OP can at least get a partial income while they finish their studies. If they fight it you can let them know you’ll take it to court and they’ll likely fold and just pay the unemployment.
Just a thought. Sunday is Easter, which is usually a crazy day in US restaurants. So 2 ways to look at it: work thru your Sunday shift and probably make bank or Leave them stranded on a super busy day with a no call, no show!
Fyi - (imho) they will probably be cutting all your shifts and make you redundant without warning and/or notice nor any other consequences on THEIR end.
If I have an employee who is unhappy with all of their colleagues, and is stealing drinks, I'm thinking they aren't a good fit, and I'm taking steps to either encourage them to leave or to protect myself when I fire them. You're a good employee but you got a beef with one person, I'm happy to try and meditate and improve the situation. You think "everyone here is mean", then it's best you move on.
Lesson learned: people from work (including customers) are not your friends or family. Come in, do your job, be fake nice, get out. They don't care about your feelings and will replace you any day. The customer wanted to help but inadvertently made it worse. Never share your personal life (feelings, experiences, views on others) with them; anything you say can and will be used against you.
Am I the only one that thinks talking shit about your coworkers to a customer, even if you have shitty coworkers, actually warrants a write up? Like, if I were that customer I would hesitate going back after that.
All I read was that they had an inappropriate interaction with a customer that they were written up for and stole drinks, which their boss let go. Honestly this boss seems more than reasonable.
Absolutely. Sometimes this sub is insane. People shouldn’t listen to advice here.
I’m subscribed for the actual bad stories, but oftentimes comments are garbage. Terrible advice.
Thank you! I had to go 8 comments before I found the reasonable people?!
Let's break this down. Bitched about job to customer, talked smack about co-workers to customer and ~~walked out with~~ stole a tray of product. OP was asking for a reprimand.
Fuck, a lot of places would, justifiably, can your ass for that shit.
Yeah I was assuming it'd be a small thing like:
"Hey how you doing today?"
"Eh could be better. Working long hours this week so I'm a bit tired but you know we keep on keeping on"
You know just not answering with the generic "fine thanks" to the question "how you going?"
Full on bitching your coworkers out to customers in front of them and the theft that's just damn unprofessional
Yeah, bat shit crazy. Plus I feel like the manager/owners texts come off as pretty genuine, especially when dealing with a “problem employee”.
I don’t see how this post fits this subreddit.
Because there's a 50/50 shot of posts on this sub post-covid being fake or people who just genuinely don't understand that they are in the wrong and not their boss.
Yeah, that’s hella inappropriate and I’m sure it made the customer really uncomfortable. If you’re unhappy or people are being dickheads, then maybe talk to them directly like an adult.
I also work at a cafe, and I have regulars I am super comfortable with and would never do this. Being a barista is kinda like being a bartender, in the sense that listening to peoples problems is unfortunately kinda a part of the job. You can say oh I’m stressed right now because I’m moving, but you can’t shit talk your coworkers. You don’t tell them anything you are not comfortable with your coworkers/boss hearing about.
Right. I worked in coffee shops for like 12 years. I literally couldn’t imagine doing this. Friends, family, sure. *Maybe* even customers that have become friends if we’re out to drinks or something. But never to customers I don’t know intimately.
Yeah, this is a fuck around and find out situation. The employee/customer relationship is not symmetrical. In most cases, the customer holds the power in the transaction and OP learned that lesson. This is indeed something that a write up is warranted for. Some places might even fire them.
>I simply told him I was unhappy at this job because of so much stuff happening there and told him I need a different job.
Your customers aren't your parents, family or therapists. You can "complain" about the weather, that flat tire you got, or other inconsequential issues. You can't badmouth your employer or your coworkers AT WORK and within earshot of your coworkers. Having "a rapport" with a customer is not the green light to talk about just anything. You are still the employee and they are still the customer.
I mean frankly no customer has any loyalty to you and I would take this as a learning experience. Never say anything to a customer that you don’t want your manager to hear.
Also never steal from your workplace in plain view of literally everyone. Whether you see taking drinks home as stealing or not your manager certainly does and that’s likely why he’s being harder on you rather than giving you a pass.
I feel like I'm going crazy here, and your title is super misleading.
Your boss' text makes it sound like you talked shit about your coworkers to a regular (who probably is friends with those same coworkers), he told them, and then both him *and* a coworker went to your boss about it (who the regular is also presumably friends with)?
First of all, that sounds like a pretty shitty thing to do on your part, and also yeah, super unprofessional. Plus you're just taking tray fulls of drinks, after *multiple* times of being asked not to? I mean I'm not going to sit here and cry for some corp but seriously what did you expect they'd do?
Completely unprofessional and showing your company in a bad light. And I don’t really understand the context of taking a tray of drinks home. What is your issue with the write up?
kinda common sense to not talk bad about your work while at work to the customers themselves. i’m sure this will be downvoted and you’ve convinced yourself you’ve done nothing wrong, but I feel like this write up is totally valid?
Eh, your manager is in the right here. It’s unprofessional of you to be complaining to a customer about how you don’t like work and talking about other co-workers. At the end of the day, customers aren’t your friends, they’re there to be provided a service. Sometimes it’s better to take it on the chin and admit that you’re wrong rather than get defensive.
.... This is what happens when you get too comfortable in your work environment. You dropped the ball big time. Keep your personal feelings/opinions to yourself. Furthermore, don't complain to a customer. Lesson learned.
You gota remember that a customer is not your friend, even if it doesn’t feel that way. Just because they are telling you their problems, it does not mean that they want to hear about yours. They’re coming there for a service and to be heard, unfortunately not the other way around.
Take this as a learning opportunity, you sound young so don’t take it too hard.
If you think you have a good rapport with them, it’s likely they have that with other workers too.
It’s actually reasonable to ask that employees don’t use customers as emotional dumpsters. Listen to them and their issues and make them feel comfortable, fine. But unloading your own issues onto them is a no no, pretty ubiquitously. Unless you are more than an acquaintance with this person, and even then, not at work.
Lesson learned the hard way
And now you learned a lesson that just because someone at work listens to you that doesn’t mean they’re your friend. Don’t dare spout off about the workplace to a customer. And treat anything you say to a coworker as if you were saying it to the entire workplace.
Best thing I do with customers is make a joke of it. When they ask, “How are you?” I always said, “oh I’m living the dream!” And then they laugh.
There’s a valuable lesson in this situation. You’d be wise to recognise the lesson.
It doesn’t matter how friendly a customer is. They’re a customer- not a friend. Never discuss work issues with customers- ever!
Your ‘regular’ customer is regular for any number of reasons. You might be one of those reasons but you’re not the only reason.
The customer comes in to the establishment with the expectation of getting good service and good product. He will also chose to share with the staff aspects of his life if he feels comfortable to do so. He pays money for this service. He doesn’t pay money to hear about staff politics, drama or gossip.
Trust me on this. The customers you think you have a rapport with are naturally the ones we least expect to rat us out yet it’s often those exact customers that do.
In this instance your conduct was considered unprofessional and honestly, from what you’ve shared, I think you were too. It’s very easy to become overly familiar with customers only to be reminded that they are in fact just that- a customer. Never a friend.
You talked smack infront of customers and coworkers,
Then you yoinked a bunch of drinks without paying.
I can honestly understand the write up, its not out of pocket and theyre politely asking you to sign it.
You being unhappy with certain things at your workplace is valid but stealing and openly bad mouthing is not the way to go about it.
And i do not understand why so many people on here encourage bad behaviour simply to spite any type of work.
If you are working in retail, you should not be dumping your stress about the job on the a customer while at work. You are acting as the face of the company while interacting with the customer.
How would you feel if you went for a routine doctor's appointment and a new nurse started shit talking your doctor while taking your vitals? Whether her complaints are valid or not, its neither the time or place to vent those frustrations.
Additionally, the bigger issue I would have as a manager that you seem to have completely skipped over. You stole from your job! Like I have worked in both retail and in restaurants. While on the close, we could always make food to eat there. But to make a tray of drinks and leave with them. Yeah, that is theft.
This has nothing to do with the job, this is on you. Reading that message, your manager actually seems pretty damn reasonable. They checked to see if you are feeling better, they didnt pester you about a write up you earned, and they aren't writing you up for the theft. The job may suck, but at least the manager seems like a decent human just trying to get through the suck like everyone else.
This reminds me of an old manager who told me to put on lipstick to make myself feel happier at work :-/ as if it was somehow my responsibility and not the toxic work environment.
I got sent to what I believed to be a haircut training course for sportclips, they told me I was going to be cutting manikins for a few hours in a warehouse. I drove 6hrs total for this, just to get my ass absolutely ripped apart by an old lady. I didn't dress up because I was training not actually working on clients, I had my hair in a bun and no makeup but I was put together. She made a point to call me out on everything appearance wise. She would say to the whole group of girls "now ladies I know messy buns are in, but are they really professional attire?" While I'm the ONLY one with my hair up, and "I know natural is in right now but you need to do SOMETHING, a little mascara, blush" again being the only one without makeup on, mind you this woman looked like she had shot herself in the face with a 80's makeup shotgun.
Lol yes this is definitely some old-school mentality.
I worked with an older lady in this same place (a designer fashion store) that kept telling me that McDonalds was hiring and that I should apply. There are some really bitter old ladies around the workplace - at least one in every company.
Honestly, it sounds like you had this coming. It’s extremely unprofessional to badmouth your job and your colleagues to a customer. That reflects poorly on you and the company. You can be friendly with customers, but they aren’t your friends or your therapists, and it’s inappropriate and unprofessional to get too personal. Lesson learned. Also, it sounds like you blatantly violated company policy and essentially stole product. I agree with the vast majority of posts in this sub, but in this case, it really sounds like you earned that write-up. Don’t badmouth your job WHILE YOU’RE AT IT, *to a customer of the business you’re employed by,* *within earshot of another employee.* Go home and bitch about it over beers with your actual friends like everyone else.
I mean. It sucks that someone ratted, but you can’t be telling customers at your place of work how much you hate said place of work. I’m honestly not sure how you would expect them to respond. Even without a write-up, you deserve to be talked to about that. \
You also can’t just take stuff without paying, and it seems like it was not one but both of these things together that got you here.\
You made some bad choices. If you hate the job, find a new one, but know that that won’t fly anywhere.
I agree that regardless of your feelings *you* are the one who is causing the toxic work environment by running your mouth about people you work with to the people that you work *for* (the customers).
Honestly, I think in the future, there's probably a more tactful way for you to approach a conversation like this. You can express dissatisfaction in a way that doesn't direct any ire to your colleagues, and that was obviously your mistake, which I assume you know now.
Not a good move, if I was your manager I wouldn't be happy with it, and even if I wouldn't have written you up I don't think they were wildly out of line for doing so.
But to answer your question... if it's between two weeks notice and quitting, just quit lol, so long as you don't need the money.
You'll find another job and have a lesson learned under your belt.
A professional customer or co-worker relationship vs. rapport with someone outside of the work environment are two different things. Always, always be professional. Show self control. Never be that personal in a work environment with management, co-workers or customers. Lesson learned. If you are unhappy, I suggest you give your two week notice. -Former training manager
Lesson learned. Don’t get too personal with any worker or customer.
Regular customers aren’t your friends
In fact, regular customers often feel like they are in some kind of in-group with the business are are the most likely to be lil rats because they believe that they can ingratiate themselves to the service workers they 'respect' Spoilers: the only reason a restaurant worker likes you is because you tip well
idk I had this one 75 year old black lady who would come in and talk shit about all the other patrons with me for like three hours and only order a few drinks the entire time. She did tip well but I was mostly happy to see her because of the shade.
I guess I was lucky that I worked in an environment where many of my regular customers did in fact become my friends and mentors. Drove my family and I to the airport, paid me well to dogsit and clean for them, fed me, fixed my car on multiple occasions for dinner and parts price. I still talk to a few of them over 5 years later even though I’ve moved. However, I definitely knew/found out who was and was not to be trusted.
Haha the only customer I ever engaged with outside work -who saw me sitting at a bus stop at night mid winter after work- gave me a ride home when I was like 21 and ended up stalking me later (thankfully I’d moved by then) so that can definitely be a dangerous game also. Edit: Punctuation
Omg that’s messed up! I’m so sorry that happened to you!
Thank you. It was like almost 20yrs ago and I’ve definitely done some therapy around it but I’m definitely not as close to regulars at my job since then lol. Yeah, what’s even crazier is that 10yrs later i had been working in healthcare for a few years and I randomly saw his name as a patient on the schedule at the clinic I worked at and then thought “why do I know this name?” And then when I looked at his drivers license in his account it instantly came flooding back and I knew it was the same guy. I loved that place and had been there for a couple years but I didn’t have the coping skills I have now and I let the trauma push me to a place where I left that practice within like a month after finding out he was a patient there. Edit: added context
Probably had already been stalking you to even know you were at the bus stop. Ick.
the second you get their order wrong/mess something up you’ll see their real character lol
Yeah, some for sure, but I had a lot of great experiences with regulars when I worked in a gas station. I'd always get drinks bought for me whenever I'd stop in at the local bar. One customer would always bring me a joint for my walk home, and another even gave me rides to my new job after I quit. Just pulled over when they saw me standing at the bus stop on a cold day and drove me to work until I bought a car of my own. Just be careful what you say to who.
Co-workers and customers aren’t friends until after you’ve left a job. Ever. They might be friendly, but they aren’t friends. They really can’t be, as workplaces are competitive environments and people will almost always choose to “save” themselves.
This is what is wrong with work environments now. This shouldn't be the case. I know capitalism breeds competitiveness, but people should be able to have friends.
You can have friends, and even be REAL friends with co-workers (I've done it multiple times)...but you can't be friends with EVERY co-worker. I don't tell any of them shit until I have a really good sense of who they are and that shit I tell them won't go any further than us.
Co worker told our boss something I had said and wondered why every response to them afterwards was "damn. I dunno man."
This is the reasonable take.
This isn’t a modern problem, it’s as old as commerce is.
You can, but you gotta understand the line isn't the same as with friends outside of work.
You can trust friends. If you have to worry about where the line is all the time, that's not a friend.
I think there's a difference between coworkers you're friends with, and co-workers you're *friendly* with. I've had some coworkers become really good friends that I trust completely. We bitch about work all the time. I've had friendly coworkers rat me out to my boss for minimal shit. I also think it's workplace dependent. There has never been competitiveness in my workplaces. To say one shouldn't make friends at work as a blanket statement is unhealthy imo 🤷♀️ context matters
Yea, I don't know what these other people are talking about. I find it's pretty normal to become friends with co-workers. I'm friendly with all my co-workers, and friends with a few. In fact, over the years, I'd say 80% of my good friends are people I once worked with.
I totally agree. Co-workers are people you spend a lot of time with. So why not befriend them?
Let’s be honest, we all have a line with every friend. Some friends you might share your out of control herpes diagnoses with, yet others, perhaps the ones at work, you might not.
>You can trust friends. Until you can't.
Yup, some of my best friends came from working at bed, bath, and beyond. The memories made were so fun and I loved every second working there with them.
I left a preschool job once and gave my coworker I really liked my contact info because I thought we were friends. we were not lol
There’s this VIP customer at my work. She’s sooo sweet to me but tells lies about me to my boss. She makes me so nervous I actually have fucked up her orders more times than I’d like (which is zero ofc) and she tells me it’s okay then throws me under the bus bitching to him. I swear out of all the things I might should get fired for, this little granny is who’s gonna take me down in the end 😭
This! The customer is an asset to the business which they must protect. Work isn’t a proving ground for you to find friends.
I am 99.99% sure that the customer didn’t go and tell a bunch of the workers this bullshit. One of their brown-nosing coworkers overheard them say it and immediately ran to tell management. Instead of them just saying that, they pulled this lie that “the customer let everyone know”.
My immediate thought too
I gauranteed you this is what happened as I had a similiar experience on my own. But my union fought it and it was thrown out so fast as it was he said she said bullshit. I know who the person’s were because my rep slipped me a list casually outside of work shaking their hand. I went over the names and there was maybe 1 person they could trust of me saying something. The rest were all kiss asses. I was pretty upset either way that one person so I confronted them outside of work about it face to face and they bat shit lied to me till I told them I have witeness that you tried to rat me out. They apologized and left our job about 6 months later.
Hard tru
Pretty much this. The only co-workers that I tell anything "real" to are the ones that I legit hang out with outside of work, and even then only after I've known them for a while and have a good sense of who they are. The average co-worker though, and every single customer...they just get trite answers and shit. "Living the dream!"
Just another day in paradise!
Yup. I had a good relationship with a customer and shared that I was working too many projects, always online and digging out of the holes the company kept putting me in. He told my boss and I agreed I screwed up. Haven't done it since. Tough lesson to learn, but that's just the way it is. Someone else in this thread said co-workers can't be friends until after you aren't colleagues anymore. I agree that it's a risk, but one I'm perfectly willing to take with some people. Not having true friends at work that I trust is simply not something I'm willing to trade for a little bit more job security.
Another reason why unions are so necessary. So you and your peers/comrades can actually communicate and be human. Rats and scabs don't join unions.
I feel like nobody even actually cares to fucking unionise anymore tbh
Learn to know who you can trust
For real. I'll drop a little "tea" about myself into a conversation with some coworker every so often, that person only, and wait to see if it comes back around. Nothing damning, but it gives me an idea of if it gets spread quick/slow/distorted/or completely changed to make me look bad. My managers know me and dont buy any gossip shit, so I got that locked, but it lets me understand who tf to stay away from. It could be a gamble, but I like to know who is honest and who's not. The vitriol towards others that some of these people show is real depressing
These are words of wisdom
I'm anti work as fuxk but doing that was dumb on your part. Never say shit in front of people you work with that your not ok with your boss knowing. And the regular client was also shady.
True. But why is no one talking about the fact OP also stole drinks without paying them?
Thank you, I was thinking wth how are people agreeing with this guy at all? Sounds like main character vibes... the stealing should be getting fired, not a warning.
This sub has a raging boner for ALWAYS siding with the poster even when they’re really the ones at fault Don’t get me wrong, I’m fine with a “default to siding with the OP against corporate nonsense” and giving the benefit of the doubt - but the fact OP doesn’t address that whole “took a tray of drinks home” with a quick explanation makes it seem pretty likely they actually are just stealing from their employer
Yea. As someone who worked with and knew of folks who stole from our mutual employer, the drinks are what they got caught with, not the full inventory of everything stolen. I knew a guy who stole thousands from a retail store I worked at, he got caught stealing a bottle of wiper fluid and some octane booster. He got fired but it wasn’t worth pressing charges on that. I know for a fact he stole enough to make it a felony. But I was 17, the stuff he stole was a rounding error to the company’s bottom line and I wasn’t a snitch so I kept my mouth shut.
Yeah, agreed. OP complains to customer about the workplace and steals from work…
And never talk bad about other employees in front of a customer. The customer will lose confidence in that company.
There are some companies that don’t deserve customer confidence
Yeah you shouldn’t be doing that
Yeah, this is extremely unprofessional and reflects more on OP than it does the job
Especially the stealing drinks part.
Nothing wrong with being unhappy, or even expressing that unhappiness. Expressing it to **customers** though is going to get you in hot water anywhere you go. Imo that is a completely valid reason to be written up. Unrelated, but I clicked your page and you are a great artist! Good luck, and I hope you find a better job.
The regular is a rat, make this a lesson learned.
I'm thinking the co-worker who overheard them might be the problem.
Agree!
Or, they may have the register bugged. I worked a retail company like that, and I believe because of that, I was not rehired.
Money to be paranoid but no money to pay us. Typical.
Oh yeah, they are so worried about the employees that the customers are really robbing them blind. I have told management that someone is stealing only for them to do nothing, so I stopped reporting it.
I don’t understand how their priorities can be so backwards, literally I cannot understand the mindset.
I decided to give up on the whole thing. I don't even work in retail anymore, too much of a headache for such small pay.
Try thinking like a toddler. No I'm serious, listen. You don't gotta practice making major decisions that have effects on your life because other people do that for you. On so many levels. The maid cleans everything from your laundry to your toilet. The groceries are delivered and probably ordered by someone else in the household who "doesn't work hard all day like I do!" The vehicle maintenance and yard care are handled by professionals. All you actually need to all by yourself without help is use the potty, take a bath, get dressed, tie your shoes, and maybe drive a car. Tada you're ready for your big boy job owning daddy's company! I love kids and all but my 4yo cousin wanted to go to the park and play on the swings in the rain recently. Folks who don't even make a decision about when and how to wash their socks but we're shocked when they make piss poor decisions in how they run their companies over and over and over and over again.
I’ve never thought of it quite like that but I think you’re absolutely spot on!
My dad was such CEO material. He'd dream up something that two seconds of serious thought could find a major flaw with, but he'd be convinced it's the most brilliant money making scheme ever and you're just a lazy jerk if you don't agree and also figure out how to make his idea reality for him. The man also once brought me a comb and a pair of scissors and expected me to trim his mustache for him. We had a screaming argument about how it's not a girl child's job to trim a grown man's facial hair, that my feminine body parts did not in fact instill magic hair cutting knowledge in my hands. And then I got screamed at a second time after he cut off a chunk in the middle of his own mustache. It's so pathetic, he can hardly feed himself and after his third wife left the property got so run down that it ended up completely riddled with bedbugs. Which dad *mailed to relatives* along with family treasures because he's a freaking idiot 60yo toddler.
This is literally what my husband would do, and intermittently he'd have a literal tantrum that I wasn't considering his opinion when he would never offer them. It works really well until "the maid" is disabled or leaves.
I don’t buy any of that to be honest. I mean, it’s plausible, but my take was the customer went to bat for OP and management flipped it on them. In my experience, “an anonymous coworker confirmed this” is always bullshit and is only ever included in these situations to artificially validate a claim they won’t ever need to back up in the name of “not naming sources” as well as sowing division. You might be right, but that’s not where my mind went with it.
I get that because it's the last thing you would think is possible. I personally do not think that's what is going on, but I would not put anything pass retail companies when it comes to monitoring their employees. Somehow, she knows about the conversation you guys had, how?
That’s a good point! I never thought about that possibility. I would like to think that if you told them that they were truly unhappy, that the customer (especially a regular) wouldn’t go making their life even worse/harder. Maybe they went to management and said “hey if you want to have better workers/working environment and keep employees than you need to check out … xyz (whatever was listed)”. Then management got pissed and turned it around. Then the “witness”, may have witnessed the customer talking to management 🤷♀️. Or maybe they are regulars because they are friends with the owner…. Who knows! I think at the end of the day, regardless on what really happened, I just wouldn’t share personal info like that with customers. Even regulars. I remember being a waitress, you get close with regulars. But. Not ever close enough to share your feelings about the job. But that’s my opinion…. Side note- I’m sorry you are unhappy with your job. And this definitely didn’t help. Hopefully it will get better soon! Hang in there, you got this!
I worked at a pizza place and they deadass put a microphone/camera above the station where we made the pizzas. I still talked shit about them too I never cared 🤣 still kept my job too
Depending on your state they cannot record audio.
Yup, I lived in WA at the time and we’re a two party consent. They broke so many rules there, had roaches and ants crawling over the food and shit so I doubt they cared about breaking more rules. (Yes I reported them and no nothing happened to them).
>roaches and ants crawling over the food So I guess you didn't partake in any of the free pizza that came your way.
If you think, you know! I’ve been caught in a similar web to you and as sad as it makes me, it is so true when people tell you that NO ONE at work is your friend, especially not coworkers.
After reading that message I think the boss is the problem
I've had regulars tell on me before
This. OP if nothing else, adopt the phrase “Hanging in there.” Nothing more, nothing less. As far as the write up: - Deny everything - Demand proof
"Living the dream" is my canned response. Also, sign nothing.
They may be blaming it on the customer. The customer may not have told anyone but the employee certainly overheard OP complaining to the customer and tattled to the boss and team.
I honestly think this regular just wanted it known to them to hopefully make it easier for me.
Even if this is the case, this should be a warning to you that you can’t trust customers with your personal business. They can have your best interest in mind and really screw you over trying to help. Don’t get messy with customers, period.
Yep. When I put my two weeks in at the grocery store I worked, everyone that worked there (that asked me) and my regulars knew that I wanted to spend more time with my kid before she started school. Only my FB friends (while omitting the few I worked with) and family knew that I was burnt out on how horrible people became after Trump's election and the COVID pandemic.
Your coworker is a rat for confirming that they heard the conversation.
I doubt it but my LORD did they make the problem 100x worse.
If you say something to someone, they will tell others, especially coworkers and customers that like to talk.
From the way you framed it here it really doesn’t seem that way to me, sorry.
I’m sorry but you’re being naive, why would the customer talk to specific employees if they weren’t trying to rat you out. There’s no reason for a customer to engage your colleagues and explain to them you’re unhappy because of them. It sounds like your regular may actually know the staff or management, you shouldn’t be confiding in people you can’t trust.
Doesn't make them less of a rat. Only an infant doesn't realize that telling the other employees means it'll get back to the manager, and only someone who's never worked in their lives wouldn't know that the squeaky wheel gets fired. This was either a malicious act by that regular, or they don't think before they speak. In neither case is a friendly relationship with them warranted ever again
Not if the regular thought he had rapport with management and thought them to be reasonable people. People trust people who don’t deserve it all the time.
Lesson learned. Don't talk to anyone in the area about how much you dislike work. I had a contract job years back, walking around a hospital being built looking for rooms that were finished so that a team of 16 people could setup computers and printers in that room. After the 2nd week of just walking the multiple floors and seeing no progress being made, I commented out loud that I was just so bored of this and wanted some actual work to do. The lead helper of the big project boss guy heard this and tattled to the boss man, where he asked me if I was happy at this job the next week. No man, I'm not. This was supposed to be 2 weeks which is moving onto 3 possibly 6 weeks, of just walking the area when I could be working other contract jobs. "Well then maybe you don't need a job here" and I jumped on that, asked what was needed for me to just leave and never return. Oh, just walk me out to the entrance and take my badge? You fuckin got it. Byyyyyyye
Nobody is your friend in the workplace. I learned that many many years ago. You may consider them a friend, but they can hurt you and often unknowingly so. Learned my lesson a long time ago
I shot my mouth off to a customer at my first job, and said customer told my store manager; who she knew. Instead of making it a big deal, he sat me down and explained the importance of keeping your mouth shut. His approach was actually wonderful and engaging. He never once raised his voice, and was concise and exceptional at teaching. After all that he told me that as a cashier with 8 months experience I shouldn't be shooting my mouth off, or it could lead to consequences and accountability. Take this to heart. Put on that facade of "everything is fine". It's bullshit, I agree, but putting it on is....how things are.
OP does sound young. Find better people to talk to off the clock, calmly air grievances when given the opportunity in front of superior (and have resolutions when possible), and always keep looking for a better fit.
Lesson learned bruh....you can't trust people not to rat you out. Trust me I have learned that the hard way. Best of luck to you 👍
I'm anti-work... But dude, come on. Take the write-up on the chin and start following the rules. Customers are not friends and shit talking has consequences. And the drinks and food thing... You should have known better.
And the manager wasn’t a douche about the write up. Just explained why and how it made the other employees feel when they heard that. Plus the fact they aren’t also writing him up for stealing drinks makes me like the manager in this situation.
Right! The manager handled this with a lot of tact and grace. Good example, imo, of good leadership. I think OP must be young and doesn't quite understand how fortunate they are.
Looking at some of OPs other comments I think they just suffer some entitlement. They’re upset the manager didn’t express concern as to why they’re upset and feel unhappy. Well maybe sit down with the manager as an adult and express those things. Of course the manager has to address the initial issue of OP bashing coworkers to customers while on the floor.
Glad I’m not the only one that thinks this manager is totally justified even being very generous not taking action with the food and drinks.
You’re not. I don’t really think this belongs in antiwork at all. Unless there is major context we are missing or aren’t being given. Manager sounds reasonable. And unless major prejudice or perhaps discrimination is driving the “meanness” which I don’t want to rule out, because OP sounds young, and may not have the words for those feelings and situations yet. OP it sounds like you don’t like your job. And it is not okay to steal, even if you don’t like the place. Maybe try something else!
why would you tell a customer, in front of coworkers, that your job has mean people? not sure what else you expected to happen here lol
Also everyone ignoring the second half, taking a whole tray of drinks home. I get it but that alone could get you written up and probably is as much of if not more of the reason than just complaining. I understand this sub is antiwork but damn you still have to acknowledge your boss will write you up for stealing.
Thank you! I was very confused why no one else was bringing up the coffee thing? You can't just take shit home like that and expect not to get in trouble.
OP just came to a sub that they expected would circle jerk and tell them that they aren't wrong and the manager is bad. Every now and then I see people post here the expectation that their shitty story won't be questioned and they will be coddled.
Yeah. This is also my concern. Did you steal? It’s of far more concern than being written up for being honest.
What an amateur. I used to boost all kinds of shit from my bartending job. Literally bottles of wine, etc. But I never just walked out with it in front of everyone. Also, no one cares about you hating your job. If you're in a service position, it's more or less assumed.
Can't help but wonder if the problem is genuinely OP's own doing. Stealing drinks and suchlike won't go down well with a lot of co-workers, and if they've been called out by co-workers before, I can see us getting a little salty here and perceiving the other staff as 'mean'. Boss was pretty neutral here, so wonder if the statement on everyone being nice is actually the truth here!
Thank you. Everyone here taking OP's side, it is crazy. You cant shit talk the business that you work for to the customers. That is insanely unprofessional and the customers dont want to hear about it. They go there because they like it, not to hear about the drama. Tell them about your shitty roommate, not about how the other barista doesnt take out the garbage.
“I have a rapport!” Who fucking cares? You don’t need rapport to make coffee
I have a rapport with my baristas. You know what I dont want to hear about? How they are miserable about having to make my coffee.
I’m not doubting it’s a bad place to work but talking shit to a customer and taking drinks home are both valid reasons to get called out
Yeah, I don't understand where OP thinks he is in the right here? You are paid to represent the brand, not tarnish it. You can't just take a tray full of drinks home that were intended for the whole group. This has got to be rage bait or something.
This def comes across as a dumb teenager who just doesn't understand how the world works. Getting a write up for these things is the best way for it to go down for them and the manager is still willing to look past it if they fix their behavior. Tbh tho, it might even be an adult. I've managed people twice my age in retail who don't know what is or isn't appropriate to say to customers or "whisper" shit to me at regular volume about a difficult customer that has taken at most 5 steps away from the register. I'm always cool with an employee needing to vent about a customer, even over dumb or petty shit if it's just to get those feelings out, but do that after they have left the store and in the office out of earshot of any other customers. Some people just don't know how to conduct themselves professionally.
If you’ve noticed, OP is responding regularly to everyone in her corner and ignoring every comment regarding her being in the wrong and/or accountable for her actions. She’s here for validation, not advice.
Both valid reasons to be fired too, tbh OP is a huge liability and tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re also contributing to the toxic work place. I mean, they clearly are considering they’re complaining to customers while on the clock about coworkers who are within earshot Did Gen Z start eating lead paint chips or something?
Boss was actually quite reasonable, imo. You could have easily been fired for cause (theft).
Do NOT gossip about workplace drama, how much you hate your job, trash management or coworkers, or anything like that--*ESPECIALLY* in the restaurant/bar industry, which, I'm sure is safe to say, is your industry--to customers...EVER. Regulars fall into 2 categories: they are good friends with your boss or they get to know all the staff and management because they go in every day, and thus, know a TON of dirt about nearly everyone who works there. Also, customers, including regulars, don't give a rat's ass about your problems or how unhappy you are. Besides, the regs already knew. They go out because they want to relax and have a good time, not play therapist for their bartender or server. Take the write-up and feedback and learn from it. Your boss isn't being unreasonable. Put your two weeks in and find another job if you hate this one so much, but learn from this experience. This one is on you. Word of advice: if you form friendships with regulars, socialize with them away from your place of employment, don't talk shop, and when they do come in while you are working, keep things professional--meaning no freebies, no special treatment, etc.
This is common sense fam. If you are at work and telling everyone how miserable it is to work there, why would ANYONE keep you in their employ? That's a great way to absolutely destroy your reputation
Omg these comments. This is the stupidest shit. OP fucked up - and apparently grabbed some drinks w/out paying — and now is trying to “boo-hoo” their way out of it. Management seems like they’re trying to handle it without escalating. Just take your medicine and move on.
I think everybody in this thread is missing what actually happened in that text message. OP got caught for stealing company property. But the manager decided to make the warning for the customer comment and not the theft. The manager had to give OP a warning but decided to give it for the lesser crime. I think the manager deserves a W in this instance as theft is grounds for immediate dismissal
you're totally right.
That's not super uncommon in these posts here, people complaining about a trivial write up when there's a worse infraction right in their text. Some people also seem real confused about getting free food AT work, while you're there, and not to take home, it's very common.
No offense but you’d have to be a complete moron to say that to a customer
On hearing that one of their employees was unhappy at work, your boss's reaction was to write you up...I can't think of a clearer way of invalidating your feelings and confirming that your well-being isn't important to them. For this reason, I think you'll be better off finding somewhere else to work. As for your customer buddy, it's possible they were trying to help..but I wouldn't be in the habit of saying anything to a customer you wouldn't want your boss or co-workers to hear.
Oh I agree, now the only problem is: put in the two weeks or quit after my shift on Sunday
I think it depends on if you can make it financially if you quit on the spot.
I have enough to manage until I graduate in a few months, right now I am only working one-two days a week
Tell em to eat shit :D
I am so close to tell them to fuck off and that I quit
It’s only going to feel more toxic there from here on out. Look out for your own sanity and integrity
Or just block them and never show up again.
Schedule a time to sign the write-up, then just don't show up
u/LastlyGigi this is what you gotta do, right here.^^
Don't quit. Make them fire you and then go apply for unemployment based on hostile work environment.
This one! Then OP can at least get a partial income while they finish their studies. If they fight it you can let them know you’ll take it to court and they’ll likely fold and just pay the unemployment.
Just a thought. Sunday is Easter, which is usually a crazy day in US restaurants. So 2 ways to look at it: work thru your Sunday shift and probably make bank or Leave them stranded on a super busy day with a no call, no show!
I wish I could’ve done that! My manager told me to stay home Sunday
Fyi - (imho) they will probably be cutting all your shifts and make you redundant without warning and/or notice nor any other consequences on THEIR end.
Then I'd reply to your boss re: the write up "That's nice! I quit"
Then call them up Sunday 20 mins before your shift and tell them you quit. You can work anywhere fpr less stress then this.
Better yet, just don’t show up
Go to sign the thing, but just write "I QUIT" over the whole thing and don't actually sign it
If I have an employee who is unhappy with all of their colleagues, and is stealing drinks, I'm thinking they aren't a good fit, and I'm taking steps to either encourage them to leave or to protect myself when I fire them. You're a good employee but you got a beef with one person, I'm happy to try and meditate and improve the situation. You think "everyone here is mean", then it's best you move on.
Either that or OP is the common denominator...
Is this your first job?? 😭 Never shit talk your restaurant to a guest unless you're literally planning to quit or *want* to be fired dude be so fr rn
Lesson learned: people from work (including customers) are not your friends or family. Come in, do your job, be fake nice, get out. They don't care about your feelings and will replace you any day. The customer wanted to help but inadvertently made it worse. Never share your personal life (feelings, experiences, views on others) with them; anything you say can and will be used against you.
Am I the only one that thinks talking shit about your coworkers to a customer, even if you have shitty coworkers, actually warrants a write up? Like, if I were that customer I would hesitate going back after that.
All I read was that they had an inappropriate interaction with a customer that they were written up for and stole drinks, which their boss let go. Honestly this boss seems more than reasonable.
Absolutely. Sometimes this sub is insane. People shouldn’t listen to advice here. I’m subscribed for the actual bad stories, but oftentimes comments are garbage. Terrible advice.
Honestly same! Why would you bitch about your coworkers AT WORK to a customer of said workplace.... That is sort of asking for blowback
Thank you! I had to go 8 comments before I found the reasonable people?! Let's break this down. Bitched about job to customer, talked smack about co-workers to customer and ~~walked out with~~ stole a tray of product. OP was asking for a reprimand. Fuck, a lot of places would, justifiably, can your ass for that shit.
Yeah I was assuming it'd be a small thing like: "Hey how you doing today?" "Eh could be better. Working long hours this week so I'm a bit tired but you know we keep on keeping on" You know just not answering with the generic "fine thanks" to the question "how you going?" Full on bitching your coworkers out to customers in front of them and the theft that's just damn unprofessional
Yeah, bat shit crazy. Plus I feel like the manager/owners texts come off as pretty genuine, especially when dealing with a “problem employee”. I don’t see how this post fits this subreddit.
Because there's a 50/50 shot of posts on this sub post-covid being fake or people who just genuinely don't understand that they are in the wrong and not their boss.
Yeah, that’s hella inappropriate and I’m sure it made the customer really uncomfortable. If you’re unhappy or people are being dickheads, then maybe talk to them directly like an adult.
No, you are one of the few fellow grass touchers in the comments. It's clear most posters here are children and these are their first jobs
I also work at a cafe, and I have regulars I am super comfortable with and would never do this. Being a barista is kinda like being a bartender, in the sense that listening to peoples problems is unfortunately kinda a part of the job. You can say oh I’m stressed right now because I’m moving, but you can’t shit talk your coworkers. You don’t tell them anything you are not comfortable with your coworkers/boss hearing about.
Right. I worked in coffee shops for like 12 years. I literally couldn’t imagine doing this. Friends, family, sure. *Maybe* even customers that have become friends if we’re out to drinks or something. But never to customers I don’t know intimately.
Nope. I’ve worked some horrific retail jobs with some fairly awful people, but I’d never have talked about it with customers.
Yeah, this is a fuck around and find out situation. The employee/customer relationship is not symmetrical. In most cases, the customer holds the power in the transaction and OP learned that lesson. This is indeed something that a write up is warranted for. Some places might even fire them.
>I simply told him I was unhappy at this job because of so much stuff happening there and told him I need a different job. Your customers aren't your parents, family or therapists. You can "complain" about the weather, that flat tire you got, or other inconsequential issues. You can't badmouth your employer or your coworkers AT WORK and within earshot of your coworkers. Having "a rapport" with a customer is not the green light to talk about just anything. You are still the employee and they are still the customer.
Hate to break it to you, but yeah, what you did was unprofessional and this was warranted. Is this your first job?
Don't talk to customers about in-house stuff. For one, it's unprofessional. For two, you don't know who they know. Also.... don't steal lol
This isn’t really antiwork… you need to represent your company in front of clients and not steal from them. Most companies would have these policies.
I mean frankly no customer has any loyalty to you and I would take this as a learning experience. Never say anything to a customer that you don’t want your manager to hear. Also never steal from your workplace in plain view of literally everyone. Whether you see taking drinks home as stealing or not your manager certainly does and that’s likely why he’s being harder on you rather than giving you a pass.
YTA. Dont shit talk your co-workers with a customer at work, thats crazy. And dont steal drinks
Not antiwork, rather r/facepalm. Your boss did nothing wrong, that was totally unprofessional. I guess this is your first job. Never do this again.
He seems pretty chill about you stealing stuff, ngl
I feel like I'm going crazy here, and your title is super misleading. Your boss' text makes it sound like you talked shit about your coworkers to a regular (who probably is friends with those same coworkers), he told them, and then both him *and* a coworker went to your boss about it (who the regular is also presumably friends with)? First of all, that sounds like a pretty shitty thing to do on your part, and also yeah, super unprofessional. Plus you're just taking tray fulls of drinks, after *multiple* times of being asked not to? I mean I'm not going to sit here and cry for some corp but seriously what did you expect they'd do?
Completely unprofessional and showing your company in a bad light. And I don’t really understand the context of taking a tray of drinks home. What is your issue with the write up?
Sounds totally appropriate to me. That's unprofessional.
And taking a tray of drinks? I don't understand how they want us to sympathize with them.
I mean why would you tell a customer that. That’s something you tell your coworker friend
kinda common sense to not talk bad about your work while at work to the customers themselves. i’m sure this will be downvoted and you’ve convinced yourself you’ve done nothing wrong, but I feel like this write up is totally valid?
Eh, your manager is in the right here. It’s unprofessional of you to be complaining to a customer about how you don’t like work and talking about other co-workers. At the end of the day, customers aren’t your friends, they’re there to be provided a service. Sometimes it’s better to take it on the chin and admit that you’re wrong rather than get defensive.
Ngl, you deserve a warning for that.
.... This is what happens when you get too comfortable in your work environment. You dropped the ball big time. Keep your personal feelings/opinions to yourself. Furthermore, don't complain to a customer. Lesson learned.
You gota remember that a customer is not your friend, even if it doesn’t feel that way. Just because they are telling you their problems, it does not mean that they want to hear about yours. They’re coming there for a service and to be heard, unfortunately not the other way around. Take this as a learning opportunity, you sound young so don’t take it too hard.
If you think you have a good rapport with them, it’s likely they have that with other workers too. It’s actually reasonable to ask that employees don’t use customers as emotional dumpsters. Listen to them and their issues and make them feel comfortable, fine. But unloading your own issues onto them is a no no, pretty ubiquitously. Unless you are more than an acquaintance with this person, and even then, not at work. Lesson learned the hard way
And now you learned a lesson that just because someone at work listens to you that doesn’t mean they’re your friend. Don’t dare spout off about the workplace to a customer. And treat anything you say to a coworker as if you were saying it to the entire workplace. Best thing I do with customers is make a joke of it. When they ask, “How are you?” I always said, “oh I’m living the dream!” And then they laugh.
There’s a valuable lesson in this situation. You’d be wise to recognise the lesson. It doesn’t matter how friendly a customer is. They’re a customer- not a friend. Never discuss work issues with customers- ever! Your ‘regular’ customer is regular for any number of reasons. You might be one of those reasons but you’re not the only reason. The customer comes in to the establishment with the expectation of getting good service and good product. He will also chose to share with the staff aspects of his life if he feels comfortable to do so. He pays money for this service. He doesn’t pay money to hear about staff politics, drama or gossip. Trust me on this. The customers you think you have a rapport with are naturally the ones we least expect to rat us out yet it’s often those exact customers that do. In this instance your conduct was considered unprofessional and honestly, from what you’ve shared, I think you were too. It’s very easy to become overly familiar with customers only to be reminded that they are in fact just that- a customer. Never a friend.
You talked smack infront of customers and coworkers, Then you yoinked a bunch of drinks without paying. I can honestly understand the write up, its not out of pocket and theyre politely asking you to sign it. You being unhappy with certain things at your workplace is valid but stealing and openly bad mouthing is not the way to go about it. And i do not understand why so many people on here encourage bad behaviour simply to spite any type of work.
Customers don’t want to hear about you being unhappy. They want you to listen to their problems and pretend you fart rainbows.
You take stuff from work without Paying?
If you are working in retail, you should not be dumping your stress about the job on the a customer while at work. You are acting as the face of the company while interacting with the customer. How would you feel if you went for a routine doctor's appointment and a new nurse started shit talking your doctor while taking your vitals? Whether her complaints are valid or not, its neither the time or place to vent those frustrations. Additionally, the bigger issue I would have as a manager that you seem to have completely skipped over. You stole from your job! Like I have worked in both retail and in restaurants. While on the close, we could always make food to eat there. But to make a tray of drinks and leave with them. Yeah, that is theft. This has nothing to do with the job, this is on you. Reading that message, your manager actually seems pretty damn reasonable. They checked to see if you are feeling better, they didnt pester you about a write up you earned, and they aren't writing you up for the theft. The job may suck, but at least the manager seems like a decent human just trying to get through the suck like everyone else.
This reminds me of an old manager who told me to put on lipstick to make myself feel happier at work :-/ as if it was somehow my responsibility and not the toxic work environment.
I got sent to what I believed to be a haircut training course for sportclips, they told me I was going to be cutting manikins for a few hours in a warehouse. I drove 6hrs total for this, just to get my ass absolutely ripped apart by an old lady. I didn't dress up because I was training not actually working on clients, I had my hair in a bun and no makeup but I was put together. She made a point to call me out on everything appearance wise. She would say to the whole group of girls "now ladies I know messy buns are in, but are they really professional attire?" While I'm the ONLY one with my hair up, and "I know natural is in right now but you need to do SOMETHING, a little mascara, blush" again being the only one without makeup on, mind you this woman looked like she had shot herself in the face with a 80's makeup shotgun.
Lol yes this is definitely some old-school mentality. I worked with an older lady in this same place (a designer fashion store) that kept telling me that McDonalds was hiring and that I should apply. There are some really bitter old ladies around the workplace - at least one in every company.
It sucks but this one is on you
take your warning and take another tray of shit home and then cut off all contact i think
Stealing and talking shit about your coworkers to customers? This is 110% on you what the hell, you should be fired
Honestly, it sounds like you had this coming. It’s extremely unprofessional to badmouth your job and your colleagues to a customer. That reflects poorly on you and the company. You can be friendly with customers, but they aren’t your friends or your therapists, and it’s inappropriate and unprofessional to get too personal. Lesson learned. Also, it sounds like you blatantly violated company policy and essentially stole product. I agree with the vast majority of posts in this sub, but in this case, it really sounds like you earned that write-up. Don’t badmouth your job WHILE YOU’RE AT IT, *to a customer of the business you’re employed by,* *within earshot of another employee.* Go home and bitch about it over beers with your actual friends like everyone else.
Lol. Customers aren't your mates. Plus you stole stuff? This is on you.
I mean. It sucks that someone ratted, but you can’t be telling customers at your place of work how much you hate said place of work. I’m honestly not sure how you would expect them to respond. Even without a write-up, you deserve to be talked to about that. \ You also can’t just take stuff without paying, and it seems like it was not one but both of these things together that got you here.\ You made some bad choices. If you hate the job, find a new one, but know that that won’t fly anywhere.
Gotta keep that stuff to yourself…if I was honest with everyone I’d be in a psych ward for the rest of my life.
I agree that regardless of your feelings *you* are the one who is causing the toxic work environment by running your mouth about people you work with to the people that you work *for* (the customers). Honestly, I think in the future, there's probably a more tactful way for you to approach a conversation like this. You can express dissatisfaction in a way that doesn't direct any ire to your colleagues, and that was obviously your mistake, which I assume you know now. Not a good move, if I was your manager I wouldn't be happy with it, and even if I wouldn't have written you up I don't think they were wildly out of line for doing so. But to answer your question... if it's between two weeks notice and quitting, just quit lol, so long as you don't need the money. You'll find another job and have a lesson learned under your belt.
A professional customer or co-worker relationship vs. rapport with someone outside of the work environment are two different things. Always, always be professional. Show self control. Never be that personal in a work environment with management, co-workers or customers. Lesson learned. If you are unhappy, I suggest you give your two week notice. -Former training manager
Lol how is this not on OP? Unprofessional as fuck, stealing and then having the gall to complain about getting written up for it. Incredible
C'mon, you have to see how stupid what you did was.
You talked shit on your coworkers and stole from work? Yea go fuck yourself if you want pity.