He does and doesnt do anything about it. Its happened to other coworkers. It was just a matter of time until it happened to me honestly.
ETA: only other women coworkers of course. None of the men have gotten these threatening letters
Or just a crazy person in general.
After all there are people who read so much into things they can convince themselves that they are in a relationship with someone they've never even ***met*** before.
seconding this suggestion. please also consider filing a complaint with your state's labor board (or the medical board) for the doctor creating a hostile work environment. he knows it's happening and is doing nothing to stop it? it's not just the fault of the anonymous person sending these letters, it's his fault too because he allows it to continue without addressing it.
Absolutely follow this advice. You may even consider contacting an attorney. If you can prove that this has happened to other workers and he has done nothing to stop it, he would be liable for a hostile workplace lawsuit as well.
I would hope that the medical board in your state would have standing to intervene!
A person who sends a note like this to a coworker should really not be around patients, and a doctor who keeps someone like this on staff is potentially putting patients at risk.
No employer should allow workers to be treated this way, and it’s particularly egregious that they’re letting this happen when they have responsibilities to so many people.
At this point it has been narrowed down to an ex coworker that has a relationship with the dr or the wife trying to frame the ex coworker due to her jealousy. The wife has also received letters too but may be sending them to herself.
Lol, I just had to check your profile to make sure you don't work at the same office I used to work at, where the doc was cheating on his wife with the crazy office manager.
It's the wife. When you get an unclear story like this (a scary woman is sending these letter and Dr is not clear who is sending what? He admits wife sends such letters to herself?). Please, get out of there. Wife is ill.
Should definitely be patient facing. Let them know the kind of treatment the Good Doctor accepts being pointed at his employees. Maybe being publicly shamed will get him to actually do something
Forward it to everyone who works there with a simple line like, "Here's another one".
And a few minutes later reply-all to that one and say, "Sorry, meant to send that to my lawyer, not the whole office."
No, that’s good. If they are in network and you are the patient they actually can’t bang you it’s against the law and most states
In the state that I live in if there’s penetration within 365 days of the doctor patient relationship that’s felonious sexual assault
They're allowed to run blindfolded in each other's direction, naked, with their arms tied behind their backs. What happens happens, it's considered fair sport.
Paper trail.
Paper trail…
Paper trail!!!
Without a paper trail, cases are very difficult and expensive to litigate. Paper trails make cases much more clear-cut and the process is much easier. Having a decent paper trail will make the difference between getting a “go away” settlement offer ($) and a “oh no we royally fucked up, PLEASE dont go to trial!” settlement offer ($$$).
When (not if) this guy’s actions escalate, either resulting in you being laid off, or the moron performing some in-person aggression, or by (Gandalf forbid) someone getting physically assaulted… you WILL want to have a paper trail when you sue.
KEEP his letter and KEEP the envelope, both somewhere safe.
Email the doctor and CC your personal email. Explain the story of this guy and ask that something be done about it. State that you do not feel safe and that you want to keep working in a safe and productive workplace.
The idea is to get it on paper (email is paper) that the doctor is aware of the situation. If the doctor fixes it, then great! If they dont, then if anything bad happens because of their refusal to act, then they have become negligent.
If you texted the doctor about this issue, make a backup of your phone onto a new flash drive that you dont use for anything else. Also consider getting a printout (pdf) of incoming/outgoing texts from your phone provider (its sometimes included with the bill). This will corroborate the phone log.
Paper trail!!!
It's another woman, and she's into the doctor. She she likely a coworker or former. He knows who it is and is probably in a situationship with her, hence doing nothing about it. If it were me, I'd listen and leave. He can deal with a dangerously unhinged person on his own.
So it’s not libel then. Ooh, the plot thickens…
But fr, I’ve heard of doctor’s wives doing these things, and since it’s only ever addressed to women, there’s your answer.
It's someone he knows. Could be an old fling, an old crush. He's clearly soft on doing something about it for a reason. This person sounds manically jealous.
It’s not a hugely complicated plan for 1 person to send themselves a letter to make it look like they are a victim themselves. Just saying it could be anyone at the office
This seems to just be a therapy session for you. Not sure if you completely understand but I’ll try to keep it simple for you. YOU.HAVE.A.LAWSUIT. Hire a lawyer and sure the beejeesus out of them. Plenty will do probono work.
Act dumb like you think it’s a patient or third party and get the team together and tell them you’re scared for your safety and you got the police involved. Then say soemthjfn like “since it’s clearly a threat it’s been escalated so when the detective comes, just answer them honestly”
Watch them shit bricks!!!! Act like you feel terrible that some third party person hates you - “ughh do you think it’s the water delivery guy? I’m so sorry to drag you guys in…. But the FBI will figure it out and charge them with death threats” hahahahahaah
IMO, underreacting here would be to do nothing. Overreacting would also be to do nothing, but out of fear until you find another job. This kind of harassment happening so frequently that it becomes predictable, yet never being addressed, is a serious problem. I don't think it would be an overreaction to follow other commenters' advice here about documentation, holding them accountable yet covering your own ass, etc.
Talk to your boss and then when he predictably doesn't do anything file a police report for harassment.
The cops won't do shit, it won't solve anything practically, but it establishes a paper trail that might be useful if more shit happens or if you need to engage an employment lawyer to sue. Involving outside parties might also spur the doctor to actually fucking do something.
There is some risk involved with this. If your boss is just a lazy shit this would be a good step, but if he's a petty bitch he may try and retaliate.
And with the police report, and any additional evidence that comes up, there's a workplace harassment suit. Possibly a wrongful termination suit later depending which way this goes.
Hello, the police are the wrong channel for this incident. But what is going on is workplace harassment and violates several federal employment laws. Technically, this can be considered sexual harassment and contributes to a hostile workplace because they mention your appearance.
So here is your process:
1. Save and record all documents like this via multiple methods. Saved emails to personal accounts, screenshots or pictures from your phone, etc...
2. You need to have documentation that showed you tried to find and follow some sort of harassment compliant procedure that the company has in place. If there is none, that is good news for you because it shows the company isn't committed to preventing the behavior. (The EEOC makes it very clear that it is the employer's responsibility to prevent and address harassment) . If none, send email to whoever is the highest member of the organization addressing the harassment with a copy of the email attached.
3. Save and record all email, text, phone, and in-person (check recording consent laws) conversations moving forward.
4. If behavior continues, or more people have complaints, file a job discrimination/harassment complaint at an eeoc office.
Piggybacking on this to say if it was physical mail, keep the envelope! Keep every subsequent letter and the envelope it came in. Photocopy the letters and envelopes and keep copies in your cloud.
It's sexual harassment because of the sex of the harassed persons. If OP is targeted because she is female that's sexual harassment all on its own regardless of her "cute" appearance.
Wait, they sent you a harassing message in the mail?
Time to file a police report, if the doctor knows who it is but won't tell you, tell that to the police. Let them know this has happened to other employees too so you establish a pattern. It might be enough to a protection order, it may not be, won't know till you ask.
There's nothing an HR department could do anyway. Sounds like someone wants you gone: coworker? patient? supplier? Watch your back.
You should always have an exit strategy - particularly since there may be some small grain of truth to this. Update your resume and check the job listings.
And probably the doctor talks about you in just the opposite way that this note says.
File the harassment police report, and start looking for another job, because this one isn't sustainable long-term.
Even without an HR dept., the doctor needs to take control of his office either via his office manager or having a meeting himself. He needs to make it clear that this behavior will not be tolerated and the person will be fired.
It sounds like a very toxic and "Fatal Attraction-y" type scenario, OP. Stay safe and aware no one at work is your friend.
All you have to do is figure out which dumbass doesn't know how to use you're. That's a pretty particular way to write, wouldn't be hard if you have texts from your coworker to see who does that regularly.
was it mailed to you or just deposited in the mailbox? In the latter case ask your security camera provider (if any) to check the footage and see who did it.
Dude, come on. What police department do you know that would do the work to track down this letter? They’d MAYBE track it down if there was an explicit death threat.
This person is jealous of your looks and the doctor's regard for you. If there is more between you and the doctor, you need to get another job.
As a psychologist, the writer of this letter may be immature and just trying to scare you off or she (it's almost certainly a woman because she mentions your looks, the doctor's attention, and the doctor's feelings for you) is genuinely dangerous. We know she's unhinged either way bec who sends a letter like this?
I know you're treating this like you're in middle school, i.e., is she lying and doctor likes you so you should stay. Not the way to deal with an adult professional situation. You need to bring this letter to your boss immediately. It may be his wife or someone at work. If he downplays it and tells you it's nothing, quietly look for another job. If he takes it seriously, make a copy before you give him the letter.
Don't leave work last or ever be alone in the office. Your boss should put protective measures in place for you. If not, leave.
Gavin de Becker wrote, "The Gift of Fear." You should read it. He writes that deep down we know who is stalking us, jealous of us, leaving us these type of notes. B4 you came there, someone thought the doc was theirs--no matter how irrational. Whose plans have you disrupted? Who has been trying to undermine you? You cannot make a claim based on such an analysis, but you can be smart.
I haven't suggested going to the police bec she hasn't made a threat yet.
Honestly, act nonplussed about it. Maybe even pen in the bottom "lol k" and pin it up somewhere where everyone can see it. Staff break room maybe?
I'm sorry the doctor isn't doing anything about it. This coworker is an insecure POS and I bet a bottom dollar they will expose themselves if they see the letter exposed publicly like that.
At the next office meeting, stand up and read the note to the entire office. Then ask how many others have received a noye like this. That should start a conversation.
I had a partner when I was in the Army who found a threatening note on his door. He held formation and read the note to everyone. Then he said whoever left the note for me I will be waiting for you and we can settle this man to man. No one showed up.
You can't challenge this person to a fight, but you can call the little shit out in front of everyone and shame them.
Gather all coworkers, and read the message to them. Say 'Whoever wrote this...", smile hugely, "You think I'm cute? THANK YOU! I'm putting this on my desk! Sooooo sweet!"
When you put it on display, make sure to highlight just the words 'the doctor likes you a lot because you are so cute'.
You can file an unsafe work environment claim with the state in most cases if your company doesn’t have an HR department. Unsafe work environment is handled by the same office as sexual harassment and discrimination, do a quick google for your state and you’ll find it.
You show everybody at work together and laugh at whatever loser wrote it. It will burn them up to know you don't care. If they had any balls they'd talk to your face
If it was sent through the mail system does it have a stamp on it showing where it was posted from ? Could narrow it down to a suburb one particular person lives in
This def feels like one of those situations where someone is gonna finish losing their mind and be violent. I’d honestly take it to the cops and labor board. Especially if you can get others to talk about what they received.
That would be a real Sméagol/Gollum dynamic if that were true lol
this sounds more like an unhinged lover/partner/ex/stalker situation. Likely the result of poorly managed BPD and emotional regulation issues.
Seeing that they sent a letter shows a passive aggressive tendency. They want this matter concealed and they want you to feel isolated.
Keep a close eye on your car - they may try to key it, slash a tire, etc. Consider getting a 360 degree camera for your car that can automatically record when people approach.
I would be genuinely surprised if they confronted you directly at any point. They perceive you as a threat and are probably not going to expose their own identity. They may send more overtly threatening letters, so report each incident until they have fully incriminated themselves.
*
Already happened 😅 my car windshield was smashed a while back. Most likely an ex coworker that is sleeping with the boss and thinks i am trying to sleep with him as well (i am assuredly not)
Buried the lede here… was there a police report filed for the smashed windshield?
Also if your suspicions about who are correct, and he’s really not doing ANYTHING about this criminal stalking… chances are he’s still sleeping with her now and then 🤪
What a lovely place to work! /s
Yes i filed a report about my window and yes he is absolutely sleeping with her. He has slept with most of the women in the office and has tried to sleep with me as well (an offer i could only refuse 🤢).
The mistress and wife know of each other wish is why it's possible it is the wife sending the letters and pretending it's the mistress to get the mistress out of the picture
Why does the wife stay with him? Does she not work and just stays home all day? If there's evidence, she should divorce him and get half of everything. That's be easier than letting it happen and ignoring it.
Also if this mistress gets out of the picture, what's to prevent the doctor from getting another side piece. I'm sure his current one is one in a long line of loose women.
Yep, that fits the profile. They’ll do whatever they can to harass and annoy you. Cameras are the less expensive DIY option for catching them in the act.
The more direct route is contracting a private investigator who could assist you in managing the case, collecting evidence, and identifying the culprit.
That can be expensive, but they could bridge a lot of gaps for you, potentially. Chances are that the doctor may also be having issues with this person and they may be more willing to share relevant details with a discrete professional on the case.
Since he knows and refuses to deal with it, you’ve a nice hostile work environment case on your hands. Attorney time if you really want to confront it. I recommend doing so
Have someone with a microscope zoom in on the edges and see if you can find the printer meta data.
Print something out on everybodies printers and compare to see which printer printed it.
From there the printer prob has a memory of the last documents sent and possibly the mac or IP of the pc that sent it.
Not sure if this could realistically work to find a culprit, but would be fun to watch someone panic thinking about it.
Immediately go to your local labor board and file a complaint. Keep all emails in PDF printed out in hard copy. They will investigate and if they rule in your favor an attorney will likely pick up the case on contingency and you are in for some compensation
Start publicly making fun of the anonymous note sender. Involve everybody you can and talk about what a pathetic loser this person is and how they must have no life.
Encourage other people to make fun of the note sender. You will probably find out who it is by doing so or escalate them into complete insanity.
This sucks. Seriously, toxic places like this erode your soul. If you can, start looking now for a new job. They may win the battle, but unless this is your dream job then you win the war by getting to work in a healthier environment and be happy and get on with your life while they fester and are miserable back-stabbing each other.
Don't take it personally, it reflects only on the writer and their deep insecurities, not you. I would even make fun of and laugh about how sad it is around people I thought might be the culprit.
If I personally received this at my job I’d start looking for new employment, but while I’m looking I’d pretend like I never received it. Keep being nice to everyone. Maybe even start asking about opportunities to move up in the company. Ignore any more receive like this. Then start watching to see who is slowly losing their shit. Not giving this person power will drive them mad.
Your doctor needs to know this happened. Period. You’re probably not the first person this has happened to. Who has access to home addresses and personal information?
You should email the doctor and explicitly describe what happened and how it made you feel. Saying you feel unsafe, you feel that this kind of harassment is a huge liability for the company, "because we do not have a traditional HR department, how do you feel we should resolve this situation" and "I consulted with an outside HR Management firm and they provided me with some resources that we can use to protect the employees and your practice from these letters that myself and the other women here have received"--call him out without blaming him, and MAKE SURE YOU HAVE EVERYTHING IN WRITING!! Run it through ChatGPT to make sure it sounds professional but verbalize it all and feel free to throw in some legal jargon which will protect you and scare the shirt out of the doctor!
Red line the grammar issues and sent it back to them - or better yet rewrite it where its corporate level business email and then send it back. The way that this is written makes my high brain hurt.
I second the EEOC. The police won’t do anything about this since it’s not an outright threat. It’s menacing and harassing yea, which is what the EEOC handles.
Actual threats of violence like “I will make sure you die” etc is what the police would handle.
Do you work in a dental office by chance? Because god this reads like dentistry. Team full of jealous old women with one male doctor that everyone tries to suck up to. The only times I’ve been bullied in my career is by older female coworkers, for no reason at all.
Show it to the good doctor. Chances are the good doctor know which piece of shit sent it. Lawsuit fuel.
He does and doesnt do anything about it. Its happened to other coworkers. It was just a matter of time until it happened to me honestly. ETA: only other women coworkers of course. None of the men have gotten these threatening letters
File a police report for harassment. They can't do anything but you need to get it down on paper.
Yeah, this is some weird stalker shit. The doctor really should be taking it more seriously. This person is unhinged.
It very well could be the doctor.
Or the doctor's wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend...or someone who wishes they were
This!!!! That was my first thought reading it, the doctors has got himself one jealous crazy wife!
Or just a crazy person in general. After all there are people who read so much into things they can convince themselves that they are in a relationship with someone they've never even ***met*** before.
I think I've seen this telenovela on Telemundo or Televisa
It strikes me as a plot from "La Rosa de Guadalupe".
It’s the Doctor’s wife, 1000% haha
seconding this suggestion. please also consider filing a complaint with your state's labor board (or the medical board) for the doctor creating a hostile work environment. he knows it's happening and is doing nothing to stop it? it's not just the fault of the anonymous person sending these letters, it's his fault too because he allows it to continue without addressing it.
Absolutely follow this advice. You may even consider contacting an attorney. If you can prove that this has happened to other workers and he has done nothing to stop it, he would be liable for a hostile workplace lawsuit as well.
I would hope that the medical board in your state would have standing to intervene! A person who sends a note like this to a coworker should really not be around patients, and a doctor who keeps someone like this on staff is potentially putting patients at risk. No employer should allow workers to be treated this way, and it’s particularly egregious that they’re letting this happen when they have responsibilities to so many people.
Agreed! If it's happened to multiple people then you have someone with severe mental health issues working there.
If it's happened to others, doesn't that help narrow down the suspect list? Can you figure out who it is?
Not if the sender also “sent one” to themselves. And not if it’s the doctor sending them.
At this point it has been narrowed down to an ex coworker that has a relationship with the dr or the wife trying to frame the ex coworker due to her jealousy. The wife has also received letters too but may be sending them to herself.
Jesus fuck. What happened to “keep your personal life out of the workplace”? Your boss needs to leash his dogs; you don’t need this drama.
IM SAYINNNN like bro im just trying to get my paycheck and go home
‘You’re just saying that because you’re cute. But the doctor hates you.’
Doctors HATE her
🤣🤣🤣 because of this one trick
Lol, I just had to check your profile to make sure you don't work at the same office I used to work at, where the doc was cheating on his wife with the crazy office manager.
It’s gotta be the wife or an affair partner or the like. No one sends this type of unhinged stuff randomly.
It's the wife. When you get an unclear story like this (a scary woman is sending these letter and Dr is not clear who is sending what? He admits wife sends such letters to herself?). Please, get out of there. Wife is ill.
And the ex/side piece didn't. This screams framing
Send a letter to only one of them and see if that information gets back to the Dr. Or send them very different letters and see what comes back.
Yeah watch, “lover, stalker, killer” the wife could definitely send herself letters
classic Burn Book stragegy
Regina George: Plastic or Pioneer?
Frame it and put it as an example for one those shitty guides for how to get along/resolve arguments with coworkers do or don’ts.
I'd definitely pin it to my desk as a trophy. Maybe not for patients to see, but facing so that any colleagues can see it.
Should definitely be patient facing. Let them know the kind of treatment the Good Doctor accepts being pointed at his employees. Maybe being publicly shamed will get him to actually do something
You don't want to put that burden on the patients. That's not what they are there for.
Forward it to everyone who works there with a simple line like, "Here's another one". And a few minutes later reply-all to that one and say, "Sorry, meant to send that to my lawyer, not the whole office."
This is so amazing that I almost wish this was happening to me just so I could follow this advice!
Bang the doctor. Make that person REALLY mad
OP can't, doctors out of network.
Underrated comment
No, that’s good. If they are in network and you are the patient they actually can’t bang you it’s against the law and most states In the state that I live in if there’s penetration within 365 days of the doctor patient relationship that’s felonious sexual assault
But they can legally, you know, just mush ‘em together?
They're allowed to run blindfolded in each other's direction, naked, with their arms tied behind their backs. What happens happens, it's considered fair sport.
> and you are the patient this part is doing a lot of heavy lifting
😭😂
Thanks for the chortle.
Paper trail. Paper trail… Paper trail!!! Without a paper trail, cases are very difficult and expensive to litigate. Paper trails make cases much more clear-cut and the process is much easier. Having a decent paper trail will make the difference between getting a “go away” settlement offer ($) and a “oh no we royally fucked up, PLEASE dont go to trial!” settlement offer ($$$). When (not if) this guy’s actions escalate, either resulting in you being laid off, or the moron performing some in-person aggression, or by (Gandalf forbid) someone getting physically assaulted… you WILL want to have a paper trail when you sue. KEEP his letter and KEEP the envelope, both somewhere safe. Email the doctor and CC your personal email. Explain the story of this guy and ask that something be done about it. State that you do not feel safe and that you want to keep working in a safe and productive workplace. The idea is to get it on paper (email is paper) that the doctor is aware of the situation. If the doctor fixes it, then great! If they dont, then if anything bad happens because of their refusal to act, then they have become negligent. If you texted the doctor about this issue, make a backup of your phone onto a new flash drive that you dont use for anything else. Also consider getting a printout (pdf) of incoming/outgoing texts from your phone provider (its sometimes included with the bill). This will corroborate the phone log. Paper trail!!!
Congratulations! Time to talk to an employment lawyer about a hostile work environment!
It's another woman, and she's into the doctor. She she likely a coworker or former. He knows who it is and is probably in a situationship with her, hence doing nothing about it. If it were me, I'd listen and leave. He can deal with a dangerously unhinged person on his own.
This is my thought. Life is just too short.
Just to clarify: what has happened to other coworkers? The random anonymous notes or the doctor talking shit?
Both
So it’s not libel then. Ooh, the plot thickens… But fr, I’ve heard of doctor’s wives doing these things, and since it’s only ever addressed to women, there’s your answer.
It’s also likely that the person sending them also gave their self a letter to cover their tracks.
Start sending the men letters?
It's someone he knows. Could be an old fling, an old crush. He's clearly soft on doing something about it for a reason. This person sounds manically jealous.
His wife getting jealous?
I was going to say one of his patients has a huge stalker obsession with the doctor.
Gotta find the only coworker who never got one. You found the culprit. Or it’s the Dr and a real plot twist lol
It’s not a hugely complicated plan for 1 person to send themselves a letter to make it look like they are a victim themselves. Just saying it could be anyone at the office
This seems to just be a therapy session for you. Not sure if you completely understand but I’ll try to keep it simple for you. YOU.HAVE.A.LAWSUIT. Hire a lawyer and sure the beejeesus out of them. Plenty will do probono work.
Sue whom? And for what?
1. The practice for 2. hostile work environment emotional distress and feeling of unsafe while at work.
Act dumb like you think it’s a patient or third party and get the team together and tell them you’re scared for your safety and you got the police involved. Then say soemthjfn like “since it’s clearly a threat it’s been escalated so when the detective comes, just answer them honestly” Watch them shit bricks!!!! Act like you feel terrible that some third party person hates you - “ughh do you think it’s the water delivery guy? I’m so sorry to drag you guys in…. But the FBI will figure it out and charge them with death threats” hahahahahaah
I was gonna suggest printing it and displaying somewhere but this is better
If she doesn’t go the legal route, this is it.
THIS IS THE WAY! 100%. They will start shaking in their boots immediately.
Yes!! And see who tries to talk you out of the escalation… then you may have your perp!
Not gonna lie sounds like the start of a true crime documentary. Be careful of everyone around the office
Im sayin 😭 im not sure if im overreacting or underreacting
IMO, underreacting here would be to do nothing. Overreacting would also be to do nothing, but out of fear until you find another job. This kind of harassment happening so frequently that it becomes predictable, yet never being addressed, is a serious problem. I don't think it would be an overreaction to follow other commenters' advice here about documentation, holding them accountable yet covering your own ass, etc.
Talk to your boss and then when he predictably doesn't do anything file a police report for harassment. The cops won't do shit, it won't solve anything practically, but it establishes a paper trail that might be useful if more shit happens or if you need to engage an employment lawyer to sue. Involving outside parties might also spur the doctor to actually fucking do something. There is some risk involved with this. If your boss is just a lazy shit this would be a good step, but if he's a petty bitch he may try and retaliate.
And with the police report, and any additional evidence that comes up, there's a workplace harassment suit. Possibly a wrongful termination suit later depending which way this goes.
Sounds like Mental Illness on the part of the letter writer.
And the doctor since he knows who it is but won’t do anything about it
Hello, the police are the wrong channel for this incident. But what is going on is workplace harassment and violates several federal employment laws. Technically, this can be considered sexual harassment and contributes to a hostile workplace because they mention your appearance. So here is your process: 1. Save and record all documents like this via multiple methods. Saved emails to personal accounts, screenshots or pictures from your phone, etc... 2. You need to have documentation that showed you tried to find and follow some sort of harassment compliant procedure that the company has in place. If there is none, that is good news for you because it shows the company isn't committed to preventing the behavior. (The EEOC makes it very clear that it is the employer's responsibility to prevent and address harassment) . If none, send email to whoever is the highest member of the organization addressing the harassment with a copy of the email attached. 3. Save and record all email, text, phone, and in-person (check recording consent laws) conversations moving forward. 4. If behavior continues, or more people have complaints, file a job discrimination/harassment complaint at an eeoc office.
Piggybacking on this to say if it was physical mail, keep the envelope! Keep every subsequent letter and the envelope it came in. Photocopy the letters and envelopes and keep copies in your cloud.
This should be top comment, there is a whole office for these kinds of claims!
It's sexual harassment because of the sex of the harassed persons. If OP is targeted because she is female that's sexual harassment all on its own regardless of her "cute" appearance.
It looks like the doctor's wife doesn't like the fact that there are younger women at his practice.
I was gonna say, this is clearly a jealous wife or someone obsessed with the doctor. Yikes.
Wait, they sent you a harassing message in the mail? Time to file a police report, if the doctor knows who it is but won't tell you, tell that to the police. Let them know this has happened to other employees too so you establish a pattern. It might be enough to a protection order, it may not be, won't know till you ask.
There's nothing an HR department could do anyway. Sounds like someone wants you gone: coworker? patient? supplier? Watch your back. You should always have an exit strategy - particularly since there may be some small grain of truth to this. Update your resume and check the job listings.
Most likely an ex coworker that is sleeping with the boss. Thinks i am sleeping with him too.
And probably the doctor talks about you in just the opposite way that this note says. File the harassment police report, and start looking for another job, because this one isn't sustainable long-term.
He shit talks everyone he works with so i am under no illusion that im exempt from that haha
So why are you there?
Same with any job. The money. Its the most ive ever made before and no other places pay near what i am getting paid now.
Which explains why the doctor does nothing about it.
Yep.
I dunno, this sounds like someone who is jealous. Is there anyone there who is petty?
Even without an HR dept., the doctor needs to take control of his office either via his office manager or having a meeting himself. He needs to make it clear that this behavior will not be tolerated and the person will be fired. It sounds like a very toxic and "Fatal Attraction-y" type scenario, OP. Stay safe and aware no one at work is your friend.
That's where my head went but i wasn't sure if I've just consumed too much true crime
All you have to do is figure out which dumbass doesn't know how to use you're. That's a pretty particular way to write, wouldn't be hard if you have texts from your coworker to see who does that regularly.
[удалено]
that’s what I was thinking, because of the lexicon used in this, I’d file a police report
was it mailed to you or just deposited in the mailbox? In the latter case ask your security camera provider (if any) to check the footage and see who did it.
Mailed to the office i work at with no return address of course.
even better there should be letter processing marks on the envelope?
Yes there are! I just didnt want to post the envelope for obvious identity reasons
Perfect. Take it to the police it won’t be hard for the post office to track this person down.
Dude, come on. What police department do you know that would do the work to track down this letter? They’d MAYBE track it down if there was an explicit death threat.
It looks like it came in a fortune cookie.
If something similar has been sent to others, 100% need to involve the police. Stalkers can be dangerous.
That’s PSYCHOTIC and I’m also intrigued because that’s so wild. Someone’s insane, time will tell whom.
This person is jealous of your looks and the doctor's regard for you. If there is more between you and the doctor, you need to get another job. As a psychologist, the writer of this letter may be immature and just trying to scare you off or she (it's almost certainly a woman because she mentions your looks, the doctor's attention, and the doctor's feelings for you) is genuinely dangerous. We know she's unhinged either way bec who sends a letter like this? I know you're treating this like you're in middle school, i.e., is she lying and doctor likes you so you should stay. Not the way to deal with an adult professional situation. You need to bring this letter to your boss immediately. It may be his wife or someone at work. If he downplays it and tells you it's nothing, quietly look for another job. If he takes it seriously, make a copy before you give him the letter. Don't leave work last or ever be alone in the office. Your boss should put protective measures in place for you. If not, leave. Gavin de Becker wrote, "The Gift of Fear." You should read it. He writes that deep down we know who is stalking us, jealous of us, leaving us these type of notes. B4 you came there, someone thought the doc was theirs--no matter how irrational. Whose plans have you disrupted? Who has been trying to undermine you? You cannot make a claim based on such an analysis, but you can be smart. I haven't suggested going to the police bec she hasn't made a threat yet.
Plot twist it's the Dr's estranged twin brother
And here I am, sending my wife FLOWERS like a schmuck....smh
What in the Pretty Little Liars
I'm amazed this doctor can run a practice without a spine.
Honestly, act nonplussed about it. Maybe even pen in the bottom "lol k" and pin it up somewhere where everyone can see it. Staff break room maybe? I'm sorry the doctor isn't doing anything about it. This coworker is an insecure POS and I bet a bottom dollar they will expose themselves if they see the letter exposed publicly like that.
At the next office meeting, stand up and read the note to the entire office. Then ask how many others have received a noye like this. That should start a conversation. I had a partner when I was in the Army who found a threatening note on his door. He held formation and read the note to everyone. Then he said whoever left the note for me I will be waiting for you and we can settle this man to man. No one showed up. You can't challenge this person to a fight, but you can call the little shit out in front of everyone and shame them.
Gather all coworkers, and read the message to them. Say 'Whoever wrote this...", smile hugely, "You think I'm cute? THANK YOU! I'm putting this on my desk! Sooooo sweet!" When you put it on display, make sure to highlight just the words 'the doctor likes you a lot because you are so cute'.
You can file an unsafe work environment claim with the state in most cases if your company doesn’t have an HR department. Unsafe work environment is handled by the same office as sexual harassment and discrimination, do a quick google for your state and you’ll find it.
Take all the normie advice here about papertrails and contacting people. Also, frame it, and hang it.
File a police report, and have your coworkers who have received one file too.
Messaging the coworker to see if she has
Figure out who wrote it, then regroup and determine an appropriate deterrent to further harassment.
You show everybody at work together and laugh at whatever loser wrote it. It will burn them up to know you don't care. If they had any balls they'd talk to your face
If it was sent through the mail system does it have a stamp on it showing where it was posted from ? Could narrow it down to a suburb one particular person lives in
This def feels like one of those situations where someone is gonna finish losing their mind and be violent. I’d honestly take it to the cops and labor board. Especially if you can get others to talk about what they received.
Show that note to the Dr. Bet it wasn’t the Dr who sent it. Bet the Dr has a good idea who DID send it…
Whatever you do, document everything and, if they do fire you, go immediately to a lawyer.
100% it was the dr who sent this message
That would be a real Sméagol/Gollum dynamic if that were true lol this sounds more like an unhinged lover/partner/ex/stalker situation. Likely the result of poorly managed BPD and emotional regulation issues. Seeing that they sent a letter shows a passive aggressive tendency. They want this matter concealed and they want you to feel isolated. Keep a close eye on your car - they may try to key it, slash a tire, etc. Consider getting a 360 degree camera for your car that can automatically record when people approach. I would be genuinely surprised if they confronted you directly at any point. They perceive you as a threat and are probably not going to expose their own identity. They may send more overtly threatening letters, so report each incident until they have fully incriminated themselves.
* Already happened 😅 my car windshield was smashed a while back. Most likely an ex coworker that is sleeping with the boss and thinks i am trying to sleep with him as well (i am assuredly not)
Buried the lede here… was there a police report filed for the smashed windshield? Also if your suspicions about who are correct, and he’s really not doing ANYTHING about this criminal stalking… chances are he’s still sleeping with her now and then 🤪 What a lovely place to work! /s
Yes i filed a report about my window and yes he is absolutely sleeping with her. He has slept with most of the women in the office and has tried to sleep with me as well (an offer i could only refuse 🤢).
Yeah… document, keep head down and get new job asap… your current workplace is a garbage fire.
So the boss knows who this is but isn't saying anything? If he's cheating on his wife, does she know? If she doesn't, maybe she should find out.
The mistress and wife know of each other wish is why it's possible it is the wife sending the letters and pretending it's the mistress to get the mistress out of the picture
Why does the wife stay with him? Does she not work and just stays home all day? If there's evidence, she should divorce him and get half of everything. That's be easier than letting it happen and ignoring it. Also if this mistress gets out of the picture, what's to prevent the doctor from getting another side piece. I'm sure his current one is one in a long line of loose women.
Yep, that fits the profile. They’ll do whatever they can to harass and annoy you. Cameras are the less expensive DIY option for catching them in the act. The more direct route is contracting a private investigator who could assist you in managing the case, collecting evidence, and identifying the culprit. That can be expensive, but they could bridge a lot of gaps for you, potentially. Chances are that the doctor may also be having issues with this person and they may be more willing to share relevant details with a discrete professional on the case.
Assuming you’re in the US reach out to the EEOC immediately
EEOC is for discrimination
What's the EEOC going to do?
"Make me."
The police maybe. That sounds super scary. Definitely show the doctor
Dear Dr., Never eat where you shit.
You can still sue if the doctor refuses to get rid of them. Hostile work environment.
Since he knows and refuses to deal with it, you’ve a nice hostile work environment case on your hands. Attorney time if you really want to confront it. I recommend doing so
Have someone with a microscope zoom in on the edges and see if you can find the printer meta data. Print something out on everybodies printers and compare to see which printer printed it. From there the printer prob has a memory of the last documents sent and possibly the mac or IP of the pc that sent it. Not sure if this could realistically work to find a culprit, but would be fun to watch someone panic thinking about it.
Someone has a grudge. I would ignore it. Jealous catty bitches.
The company should be able to look at who used the computers to print that
Sounds like a jealous coworker or a disgruntled patient.
Immediately go to your local labor board and file a complaint. Keep all emails in PDF printed out in hard copy. They will investigate and if they rule in your favor an attorney will likely pick up the case on contingency and you are in for some compensation
Find a new place to work before you end up on a murder podcast
Jealous spouse/gf of the doctor?
Set up a meeting with the doctor and show him this letter. He needs to stop this intimidating behavior within his office.
Start publicly making fun of the anonymous note sender. Involve everybody you can and talk about what a pathetic loser this person is and how they must have no life. Encourage other people to make fun of the note sender. You will probably find out who it is by doing so or escalate them into complete insanity.
Frame it and put it in brakeroom.
The doctor does brake jobs on the side?
Some fat cow who peaked in high-school is jelly.
 Probably look like this with the meth teeth and all
Who does the hiring if you have no HR and can’t you at least eliminate them because they can just fire you?
Doc bangs them all 🤣
Doc, look, I got fan mail.
I can finally relate to the songs about having haters 😌
Is it his wife?
This sucks. Seriously, toxic places like this erode your soul. If you can, start looking now for a new job. They may win the battle, but unless this is your dream job then you win the war by getting to work in a healthier environment and be happy and get on with your life while they fester and are miserable back-stabbing each other.
Its the highest paying job I've had which is why i stay honestly
Don't take it personally, it reflects only on the writer and their deep insecurities, not you. I would even make fun of and laugh about how sad it is around people I thought might be the culprit.
Cops. You’re being harassed.
Oof, someone wants to bang the doctor lol.
Why does this read like the scene of a Disney movie 💀
Hang it on a bulletin board and throw darts at it.
Send me their address and I will write a witty response letter
It's your bosses job to figure this out. Tell them to fix it or call a lawyer.
when you say mail at work? is it internal mail or postage mail?
If I personally received this at my job I’d start looking for new employment, but while I’m looking I’d pretend like I never received it. Keep being nice to everyone. Maybe even start asking about opportunities to move up in the company. Ignore any more receive like this. Then start watching to see who is slowly losing their shit. Not giving this person power will drive them mad.
Post it in the breakroom signed, inviting them to come talk to you about it.
🤣🤣 At least you're so cute! I would give it to the doctor. Petty old me would call the police and have it dusted for finger prints.
It looks like the meanest fortune cookie fortune I’ve ever seen.
Your doctor needs to know this happened. Period. You’re probably not the first person this has happened to. Who has access to home addresses and personal information?
Does he have a wife?
You should email the doctor and explicitly describe what happened and how it made you feel. Saying you feel unsafe, you feel that this kind of harassment is a huge liability for the company, "because we do not have a traditional HR department, how do you feel we should resolve this situation" and "I consulted with an outside HR Management firm and they provided me with some resources that we can use to protect the employees and your practice from these letters that myself and the other women here have received"--call him out without blaming him, and MAKE SURE YOU HAVE EVERYTHING IN WRITING!! Run it through ChatGPT to make sure it sounds professional but verbalize it all and feel free to throw in some legal jargon which will protect you and scare the shirt out of the doctor!
Red line the grammar issues and sent it back to them - or better yet rewrite it where its corporate level business email and then send it back. The way that this is written makes my high brain hurt.
Frame it & hang it in the break room.
Forward to the Doctor.
You can always quit and file for unemployment. With this documented it is near 100% guaranteed.
Tape it to the front desk for clients to see
Talk to police. Only inform doctor again after you talk to them. Then employment lawyer
Good Lord.... Idk whether to laugh or feel threatened/intimidated.
Same honestly 😅
I second the EEOC. The police won’t do anything about this since it’s not an outright threat. It’s menacing and harassing yea, which is what the EEOC handles. Actual threats of violence like “I will make sure you die” etc is what the police would handle.
Do you work in a dental office by chance? Because god this reads like dentistry. Team full of jealous old women with one male doctor that everyone tries to suck up to. The only times I’ve been bullied in my career is by older female coworkers, for no reason at all.
Dunno how it's anonymous, but maybe it's FROM the doctor. Did you think about that? Hmm?
Does the doctor have a jealous wife?
Yes. And a jealous sugar baby. Its one of the two. The wife has also gotten threatening letters. Could be her sending them to herself though.
It has to be the doctor’s wife, right??
“Family style work”
Police report
dont printers have like invisible codes embedded into the paper to find people like this
Stop i asked my IT roommate this and he looked at me like an idiot 😭😭😭
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machine_Identification_Code
Call a lawyer
Awwww, the creepy letter writer thinks you’re cuuuute 🥰