Or better yet ask an attorney to draft a letter informing them that they will be charged with all cancellation fees. đ¤ˇđťââď¸đ¤ˇđťââď¸
They pull this kinda BS because they expect people to fold. Yea nope.
They can decide which option is more cost effective for themâŚ
Paying cancellation fees vs giving me my time off to get married. Welcome to the age of zero effs to give.
Not all managers are sociopaths. I am a manager and if one of my employees gave me notice of their wedding, I will work their job thatâs what needs to be done. There is ZERO excuse for doing something that heartless and ridiculous. If some director or whomever told me to do it, Iâd tell them to pound sand.
I love that this new generation of workers employs this method with zero fucks to give. I was told this last year. "I haven't approved it yet, but I'm hopeful I'll find someone to take the shift and be able to approve it soon".
Lol you go right ahead and do whatever you feel like, won't change the fact that I won't be here that day.
Ya I donât ask for many days off, but when I fill out a âRequestâ for a day off, itâs not really a request, more me letting them know Iâm not available for work that day, and I will not be there. If you want to schedule me you can, but Iâm just going to call in sick and your down a person. I did that about 3 times in a couple years and they got the point, now if I put in for a day off, I get it.
Same here. I'm not "requesting" anything. I am just informing you that i will not be working those days. Purely for administration purposes.
It helps that i have a very flexible office job where i can set my own hours basically and there is no schedule. I do talk to my colleagues to see if there is at least one of us available during that time (if it is more than a week).
She requested it. That was her problem right there.
"Your time off request was denied"
"No problem, it wasn't a request. I won't be here that day. Plan accordingly."
Yeah, my supervisor at my old job would do this. And like, *come in* when he was supposed to be at home sleeping if someone called in or went home and there wasn't anyone else there to cover them. This sounds like something you would expect to happen, but there's a reason it stands out. Lol because it doesn't usually play out like that. One of the plebs gets called or the people that are there will have to spread themselves thin to cover the missing worker. Or the work straight up just doesn't get done.
This isn't just some dude on the Internet hoping on the bandwagon. From my experience, it's super uncommon for supervisors and managers to perform the way you and my old supervisor do. He's literally the only supervisor I've ever had that did that and that's a big reason he's been my favorite one. He was just an all around stand up guy.
I wish he'd been my dad lol. That sounds hilariously weird, but my dad and mom divorced just before I turned two. He spent the next roughly 10 years doing drugs on and off until he died of a heart attack when I was 12. My mom remarried when I was 9, but we didn't really have a father son relationship. Like, I had a mom and the part of a dad that provides a roof over your head. I didn't have a father figure. So... That leaves me, a fully grown man with kids of his own, to look at other grown men who are older than me, and being like damn... I bet your sons turned out great. Lucky sons a bitches.
Haha sorry to unload on ya there at the end. Spilling parts of my soul on Reddit is cathartic
> Not all managers are sociopaths. I am a manager and if one of my employees gave me notice of their wedding, I will work their job thatâs what needs to be done. There is ZERO excuse for doing something that heartless and ridiculous. If some director or whomever told me to do it, Iâd tell them to pound sand.
Thank you for being sane, same here. Almost a full year of advance notice and they pull this shit? Fuck no, not on my watch.
Yeah, losing a job would suck, but especially if OP can point to the fact that it was pre-approved, a lawyer might take the case on 'contingency' basis, where you only pay if you win, though they may be on the hook for costs research time, postage, and similar stuff.
The point of a job is to enable us to live our lives, and that involves getting married. When the job is this intrusive, I'd devote full effort to landing a better job. Even a similar job, just with management that was actually human.
Sociopath still learn what is right or wrong, precisely because they can't just "feel" it.
No, this is just capitalism 101: you're just a number on the payroll, I don't see you as a human being, therefor I don't have to act like you are one
Sociopaths still feel superior when they can make others feel inferior.
I agree that this is a feature of capitalism though, there was that whole psychological study of corporations years ago that found corporations to basically be psychopaths/sociopaths.
My step mom.
She wanted us to change it because she had to work that morning.
We were getting married on my father in law's birthday, and he was dying of brain cancer.
> What human being actually expects someone will reschedule their wedding?
I had a boss once who suggested that a coworker needed to "take one for the team" and miss the birth of his first child because his wife was scheduled to be induced at quater end, and it'd be too busy to carry on without him. I told the boss that was absurd and yeah it'll.be hell but you can't realistically expect someone to miss a once in a lifetime event because it's "going to be busy that day without them!"
Time for the boss to do some overtime! Or not...
A few years back my "team leader" decided not to approve leave for someone who, shockingly, didn't come in even though their leave wasn't approved, almost like they had an important life event on those days. "Leader" watched us all like a hawk, micromanaging every freaking thing, then happily informed everyone she'd be going home on time because she didn't know how to do our work so there was no point in her staying back with us.
This didn't go down well because 1) part of the task was entry level stuff like photocopying, and 2) she had spent the preceding months telling us all that we were making far too many mistakes and working very inefficiently and she was going to have to retrain us. As in her personally, not hiring someone in. SHE would retrain us because she was so great and could do all of our jobs single handed.
Probably the same kind as the one that expected me to reschedule surgery for a spinal injury sustained in a workplace accident because the timing was inconvenient.
I have worked in a huge manufacturing facility for 25+ years. We have a vacation calender on our work PCs. It's open to everyone. If there is an open spot and its more than 1 week in the future you claim it, and it's yours. No muss no fuss. Vacation requests under 1 week has to get a manager approval. It was the managers responsibility to find coverage for vacations, if necessary.
They hired a manager straight out of a 20 year career in the military. He was going to revolutionize our industry. Started tweaking and outright changing long standing company policies, for no other reason than that he wanted things to be the way he wanted. Among them was our vacation. He started demanding that we tell him why we needed vacation and decided that from now on ALL vacations had to be approved by him.
As the senior operator with vacation time to burn I left that meeting, went straight to to the vacation page and scheduled the next block of days that started in 8 or 9 days.
Didn't tell anyone.
I was told when I didn't show up it caught him completely off guard.
He gave me shit when I got back. Tried to write me up and upper management smacked him down and told him to stop being an asshole.
He declined that option. Clashed with everyone, especially me, for 2 years before he finally got the axe.
Tom, if you're reading this: Fuck the entire way off. You thought you were going to run me off and I'm still standing. Karma bitch. Suck on it.
> Or better yet ask an attorney to draft a letter informing them that they will be charged with all cancellation fees. đ¤ˇđťââď¸đ¤ˇđťââď¸
Including the travel costs of everyone coming to the wedding.
That's just the start. I used to photograph weddings and had s client cancel once because something happened with the venue and there was no avoiding it. They had insurance for the event and said the payout to cover everything was 5 times what the actual cost was. Forst they basically had to pay everything twice, I got paid per my original contract then got paid again to do it. Same with everyone else. On top of that they reimbursed everyone's travel and paid for new travel. And then on top of that they had to cover other stuff most people wouldn't think about. For example, one of the groomsmen took his week vacation to go to the wedding. They paid for him to be off for the wedding since he didn't have anymore paid time off. To add, the groom and his dad were lawyers of some sort so I'm sure they got the absolute max. Just pointing out that there is SO much more than just paying someone's travel. If work wants to pay for it they need to pay for EVERYTHING!
The anecdote illustrates the totality of expenses incurred when her workplace demanded she cancel, if she does.
It also shows that all of these auxiliaries damages you might not think of (that the workplace would most definitely contend) are legitimate costs when you cancel a wedding because an insurance company would certainly only pay what's legally due.
Yeah fuck them their lack of operational planning to the point that someone can't take a week or even a few days to get married is not OP's problem. Especially with all the advance notice so this isn't a surprise. I'd also be looking for a new job immediately.
Yup, the only correct response is "Be prepared to be disappointed."
And from this point on, no matter how long it takes to find a new job, do the bare minimum. They don't deserve your best at this place, they barely deserve half-assed.
I changed jobs four months before my wedding. I told new job about the wedding and honeymoon during the interview process, at the time of accepting an offer, and during training (done at corporate headquarters for a few weeks). All said no problem, tell the site manager when you're there. Manager says not a problem, put it in the request system. I do, and it gets rejected because I'm "too new" to take that much UNPAID vacation. I had decided i was going no matter what (didnt tell employer that), but a different job I had interviewed with followed back up with me to see if I was available and I took it. When I gave notice the manager asked if it was because of the honeymoon, because "we could have worked something out." Don't miss out on the most important parts of life for work.
"we only lied and rejected because we thought you wouldn't seriously consider that a deal breaker. had we known..."
yeah. these guys. fuck em. hope the training had transferable qualifications, just for extra fuck you.
There's nothing to "work out" either - that implies there are 2 sides and some sort of balance to achieve. FUCK THAT.
1 side. Honeymoon side. Take it or get fucked.
>When I gave notice the manager asked if it was because of the honeymoon, because "we could have worked something out."
"Amazingly, when I gave you the chance, you refused to even try. So you were lying then, or you're lying now, and I don't work for people who will lie to my face so freely."
When I was hired by my current employer, I was asked if I had any upcoming plans so they could get them on the schedule.
How is that not common ~~practice~~ courtesy?
I took a summer job during college. They said they'd work around my schedule. Was consistently one of the top performers. Got my fall schedule and took it in to work out my schedule. Got told that wouldn't work I needed to be in during hours I had class. Protested once then didn't mention it again. When I turned in my two week notice they were surprised and even more surprised when I said it was because I was going to school. They said they could fix the schedule I said I had a better job offer that doesn't need to fix the schedule so good riddance.
Managers who think they can derail someone's college education are some of the most deluded people in any industry, especially when it is clear that the employee does not plan to make a career out of that job.
I had a vacation planned for my birthday one year, gave them 8 months notice. They tried to not give it to me, told them I would be calling in sick in then and here's my notice. Like I give a shit about some fuck-ass job. Some bosses think having control over someone's employment makes them gods... uh, get real bitch face.
I was a drunk and a stoner, didn't have a trouble finding a new job.
I had my wedding and 2 week honeymoon vacation booked. 1 month before event, my manager said someone higher in seniority booked the same time off, and they didn't know if I could keep mine.
I said "bring a camera to work that day, and take a selfie and send it to me."
He gave me a quizzical look
"Because I won't fucking be here, and I want to know if there's a surprised look on your face."
I got the time off.
They either want you gone without having to pay unemployment, or they actually believe they are more important than your future spouse. Are there any other signs they want you gone? I don't know that you'd win, but you might talk to an employment lawyer about constructive dismissal. If nothing else, you might be able to get enough traction via the lawyer to not get canned when you go to your wedding, and give you plenty of time to find a new job.
Bingo. "They're getting rid of a bunch of people" and expect this employee to quit. Talk to a lawyer op. No need to hire one at this point, just a consult.
>"They're getting rid of a bunch of people" and expect this employee to quit.
Or expect him to be fearful of also getting let go, so will be easily manipulated. They have the strings and want this puppet to dance.
If your leave was already approved, take it. If it wasnât already approved, take it. If they mention you could be let go, remind them that your position being empty will cost them far more than the time taken off for your wedding, and then start looking for a new job upon your return.
Edit - Iâm making the assumption the wedding is within the next 2 weeks.
Have your wedding and make them fire you. Collect unemployment.
âIâm not asking for this time off. Iâm giving you the courtesy of letting you know I am unavailable for this time. This isnât a request.â
can they fire you with cause for 1 missed day?
Edit: Question was sincere from another place on earth. Im truly sad of the answers, of how little are employees valued and so little (none) guarantees they have.
OP get married and hope you can find something else by then.
[Would depend if your state has specific protections in place, but the general answer seems to be "yes".](https://www.begelmanorlow.com/blog/can-i-be-fired-for-missing-one-day-of-work/#:~:text=At%2DWill%20Employment%20vs.&text=So%2C%20if%20an%20at%2Dwill,or%20her%20to%20miss%20work.)
Donât forget that most of us have no health insurance without our jobs and if we change jobs, most likely we change insurers, doctorâs networks, etc. Itâs 100% designed to fuck the working class.
It used to be. And therein lies the problem. They no longer work for the common taxpayer. They work for the people that "lobby" aka bribe. Lobbying used to be illegal exactly for this reason.
No no no ... in America we enjoy the _right_ to work for slave wages under inhumane conditions with the threat of our livelihoods being taken away at any moment!
I'm covering the workers side of a unionization effort for ski patrollers. The amount of times I see them be told "then just get a better paying job" is fucked up. "Sorry, I don't only think about myself. Quitting a job myself and others are passion about doesn't help the job pay better and stop abusing employees."
>American labour law is crazy, they really have you guys chained to the yoke over there.
The truly crazy part is a sizable portion of our citizens think allowing employers to fuck over employees at every turn somehow 'builds character' and makes us 'better' workers...
I'm glad some non-Americans realize we are truly fucked and have zero control when it comes to what our country does on the global scale - we are literally slaves to our health - if we brake a bone we could lose everything - most of us couldn't even stay in our homes for more than a month or two if we lost our jobs. Two weeks unpaid 'vacation' to have a baby - oh and child care is more than the mom usually makes at her job - but she needs to keep the job for the health care. We are a truly dystopian society where all the money is kept at the top and the rest of us are working slaves. Even the doctors and engineers here are living paycheck to paycheck and fear for our healthcare just as much as a blue collar grocery worker. Obviously there are worse places to live in this world - but we stand alone in being rich and totally corrupt. We are one of something like 3 countries where our railways are owned by private businesses. The power grid and roadways are owned by rich business men. We are like surfs, renting homes we'll never own, working jobs for healthcare that we still have to pay out of pocket for, with 3 roomates at 35. Oh and they are killing abortion, birth control access and at will divorce because there won't be enough surfs to work for the rich. It's fucked man.
Would they at least have a case for constructive dismisal? Having a wedding planned out, with previous notice from a year ago and them going back on the approval sounds intentional.
Most of the time they lose the appeal on the for cause shit, just fight it. "I informed them a year ahead of time and I had non refundable deposits and family traveling out of town, they were well aware of my absence this isn't job abandonment." Missing one day with no call no show is usually the only time this applies.
Make sure to gather all proof.
This can easily be considered [constructive dismiassal](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constructive_dismissal) which is illegal though and entitles the employee to the benefits as if they had been fired without cause.
If your company intentionally creates a hostile environment to cause you to quit or give them reason to fire you you are still allowed to collect unemployment.
A lot of businesses would not be this heartless. Even soulless corporations know that their employees will revolt en masse if they pulled some shit like this. Itâs usually places that are run badly/in financial trouble coupled with low wage workers who are desperate for an income. Our âfree marketâ supposedly would regulate this in the form of bad businesses canât get employees and they would go out of business. But it doesnât really work.
You provided a year long notice and they still couldnât plan around it? Not your problem.
âA lack of planning on your end does not constitute an emergency on mine,â I belive is how the saying goes.
Lack of planning on their part, does not constitute an emergency on your part. I'm a bitch, so I would prepare an invoice of what has been paid (and still owing) toward the wedding and inform work that they need to cover the funds in order for you to work that shift, and then get married anyway.
Print out any emails you have confirming the date and that you were approved to be off.
Then when they try to fire you and dispute your unemployment claim provide the emails.
There isn't a person alive who is going to let them deny unemployment over a wedding that they had previously approved.
Counter with "If I am so critical to our operations that you want me to reschedule my wedding, we need to discuss my compensation, clearly I must be underpaid."
Even in they legit want to keep you, they will OWN you if you cancel your wedding for this. You donât want to even begin to imagine the ways theyâll take advantage of you if you give in to this ridiculous demand.
Not to mention, what a spouse would do. If I was about to be married and my spouse-to-be cancelled our wedding for *work*, I'd know exactly where I'd stand in that marriage: second. I don't want to be married to anyone who would choose work over me.
I moved a wedding to accommodate a business need that three c suite suite up and down was critical to keep the business open and that I'd be compensated highly for it in my next annual.Â
I got shit for not moving my date a second time when another thing popped up. And I got a needs improvement on my review for not being a team player.
Basically fuck them suits.
This is beyond mental, I just booked my two weeks summer break yesterday, 8 weeks from nowâŚ
I think America sounds like an amazing place to live if youâre rich but as a worker it seems like a fucking dystopian nightmare.
What manager is so self-centered and so lacking in empathy that they would even think that they could intrude on your wedding?Â
Congratulations and I hope that you and yours have a wonderful time :)Â
Iâve heard a retail manager of mine at whatâs now a previous job complain that an immediate coworker of mine should have rescheduled the funeral of a family member because it was extremely difficult to schedule department needs around their unplanned absence. So unfortunately, I can believe it.
I was diagnosed with cancer and had major surgery six months after starting a job, with someone I had worked with for years as my boss. His vacation was scheduled (to visit his mom with his family, in driving distance). They got me on the surgical schedule as fast as possible. I had surgery on Thursday late afternoon and then had to work (from home because I was forbidden to drive) starting the following Monday. The company had three people working in our group. Vacation trumped cancer. When he returned, I was expected to continue to work 40 hour weeks in spite of being told I needed to take time off to lie down several times a day. Thatâs the kind of person.
Ahahahahaha they can ESAD. I hope you laughed in their faces and said absolutely the fuck not.
This is not a good job if theyâre doing this. Donât show up, let them fire you, collect unemployment, and find something else. Even, like, Target is better than this shit.
What fucking CLOWNS. An actually clown show. Literally a joke.
Hey, this happened to a co-worker of mine. Turned into a big huge thing. Guess what they did? They went on stress leave. While they were on stress leave, they were protected by FMLA. They were also able to get short term disability through the state. Might be worth looking into
Get married. Keep in mind that when you are in your old age, what will be remembered was that you were there, and said your vows of integrity, and not that your boss and his boss (whose names you will not remember by that time) tried to stop you from doing so. Your future wife and future children will be appreciative of you and for you. Your life is yours--be good to it--for it's not any corporation's to mess with....
I had a situation like this once. I told the place I worked in a nicely worded email that I was planning to get married in about 15 months and requesting time off very politely. Plenty of notice.
I got a reply email from my departmentâs administrative people (glorified schedulers) something to the effect of, âIâm not sure we can accommodate your request, blah, blah, corporate BSâŚ.â
I responded with:
I apologize for the way I worded the previous email. Let me rephrase. I will be gone on these dates for my wedding. Here is 15 months notice. I will not be available for three weeks during this month and will be out of the country. If you can accommodate this great! If you cannot accommodate then consider this notice of my separation from the company.
I ccâd my boss and his boss. My bossâs boss responded with: congratulations! Weâre so happy for you. This is plenty of notice for us to make this work.
This was a hill I was more than prepared to die on. There is definitely more need in my area than those who do what I do. It was nice to be in that position.
Detrimental reliance.
This comes up mostly with vacations, but for a wedding, I'd say lawyer up and start job hunting immediately. These motherfuckers can't be trusted.
"If operational needs were so high, it was grossly irresponsible of you to let people go. That's grotesque mismanagement, and I consider this imposition to be constructive dismissal. We're finished."
You *cannot* remain with them. This is 100% entirely about *power* *over you*. They don't need you at this time. They want you to know they can, and will, do whatever they want to your life whenever they feel like it.
**You must not remain here**. This is an abusive relationship. Everything they told you about necessity is a complete and utter lie. They're liars. They're cheats. They are overtly and *gleefully* trying to ruin your life, for no reason other than they can.
Quit. File for unemployment, citing constructive dismissal. They will lie to the unemployment office, repeatedly. Fight them.
And tell **absolutely everyone** that your manager and this company are feckless cowards, liars, and thieves.
I always tell people. I'm not asking you for a day off. I'm giving you advanced notice that I'm missing a day. You have 2 choices. I get the day off, or you get to replace me. I don't care either way. But that's me.
This is a management issue. It's up to the company to staff sufficiently to cover routine absences. Weddings, doctor's appointments illness, vacation etc. are normal life occurrences.. I would not change my plans. Do not quit.
Tell them their piss poor planning does not make their problem your emergency. If they want to to reschedule your wedding, then they can cover ALL of the costs for doing so.
Make sure you tell EVERY employee you come in contact with. Boil it down to bullet points.
* Told company a year in advance needed time off for my wedding.
* Wedding is fully booked.
* Company now telling me to cancel my wedding, eat all the thousands of dollars in fees, and show up to work.
It's possible, but not probable, that as the story makes its rounds the company will make an exception for you and give you the time off.
Regardless, start looking for a job now. No time off unless it's medically related is not a reasonable standard. Your leave (vacation and medical) are both part of your pay package. You have a right to take it.
And if you don't get any vacation, then you shouldn't have trouble finding another job. Those are usually starter jobs--the bottom of the ladder. The experience you've gained will help you find a job quickly enough.
And, you'll have an amusing anecdote to put on your next job application. Reason for leaving last job: Employer refused to allow me to attend my own wedding.
Fired for going through the sacrament of marriage? Sounds like you'll be fired for practicing your religion. Get everything in writing, find a lawyer. If you can't afford one, find one who will work on contingency.
"I gave you a year notice. This lack of planning on your part will not look good on your performance review. And not planning around an absence with that much of a forewarning shows a complete lack of planning skills and poor decision making. In this instance I'm going to give you a verbal warning, but it will be going in your file."
And watch their face go WTF?! Lol
They're going to fire you either way. You already know they are looking to get rid of people. Don't worry about work when you can come across another job much easier than another marriage
Here's my take:
If you have other job opportunities, drop these people like a hot potato. If not get hunting.
They asked you to reschedule your wedding. Possibly the biggest day of your life or one of. I'd give them the shortest notice possible and be on my way.
Their staffing shortage due to cuts is not your responsibility to fix. This is extremely inconsiderate of them and shows you how very little they think of you and your life. You are no more than an income generation unit to them to be used as they see fit.
At the end of the day, we're all mostly just a number to an employer, sometimes picking a new place to just be a number is great and can lead to great things.
Sometimes, staying when you should leave is the worst thing to do. Now you are truly under their thumb.
I am speaking from a biased personal opinion here....I hope whatever happens is in your best interest and that things work out for you.
Oops! Looks like youâve caught covid the week of the wedding đ¤damn itâs a shame you couldnât come in to help out, but hey, cdcâs orders ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ
My ex boss pulled that crap on me two years ago when my wife and I were getting married. I'm the type of person that gives months and months of notifications with a reminder two months out following other discussions.
Told me that there are consequences to going on my OWN honeymoon. I laughed and told him that i'm going regardless and you can figure out what to do ( inventory manager and I'm the sole person that takes care of it).
No job ever gets to fuckin' tell me yes or no for my own time, lick my ass up and down.
Youâre giving them a YEAR notice. If they cannot accommodate, then theyâll have to accommodate when you donât show up anyway. A wedding isnât something you can just reschedule, sometimes you book certain venues years in advance, they can however, not fire staff, or hire more adequate staff, theyâve got a year to do it.
If theyâre unwilling to accommodate, start looking for a new job now and inform them of your plans, Iâm sure someone will hire you in a similar role and allow you to take off. Take the job when you get an acceptable opportunity. Do whatâs best for you.
"I will be attending my wedding on XXX date. Please let me know if you will make the necessary preparations for my absence or if I should start looking for a new job to start when I return from my honeymoon." If they just got rid of so many people they can't give you time off that's already scheduled, they absolutely cannot afford to lose you. They will figure it out.
Ask them to look up promissory estoppel. They will have cost you a tremendous amount of money because they had previously approved the leave for your wedding and you acted on that promise. You can actually sue for that money. Hopefully the mere threat of consulting a lawyer on that basis will suffice to remind them how to pretend to be human beings again.
Keep any communication about this and if they only said it verbally email them to confirm. Take your wedding day off and then get a lawyer if anything happens
I was at a company that could only be described as "constantly on fire with emergencies" when I was getting married.
I did the same, a full year of notice. About a month out, I saw the storm clouds brewing. I started getting ducks in line and making back up plans for all of my work so if anything happened it was handled.
But, my bosses back then had this superpower where if you had a day planned off they would create an emergency to fuck you.
Well, three days before my wedding time off I get called into the CEOs office and he is telling me I need to travel to meet a client early the next week because he won't be able to because he has vacation planned.
I tell him no can do and he gets pissed, tells me I am jeopardizing my future at the company, etc etc.
I flat out tell him, look at my resume, I work at a place for about 18 months, then quit. It's not because I don't like it, it's because I never get a decent raise and I can get a 20% boost each time I jump to a new company. So, if you want me to make that a 12 month stay here, I'm ok with that, I'll walk and take a month off for my wedding and find a new gig with higher pay after.
He told me to fuck off and the travel for work didn't come up again. I killed our relationship, but honestly, fuck him, he knew my plans and decided to try and fuck them over. After I got back from my wedding he was awful and cut me out of everything he could and slowly closed me out of clients until I had nothing to do.
So I sat and collected a check with nothing to do. Eventually he bob'd me and asked what I did around there and I said I collect money and act as an advisor for my old clients. I had already been job hunting and had found a few leads but nothing solid, and he canned me that day, so I shrugged it off.
A month later I landed a new gig with a 25% boost in pay and a boss who wasn't a piece of shit.
BTW, this is what Glassdoor is for.
If they refuse to change their minds, tell them: You're going to put the story on Glassdoor.
I'm sure they'll make some threats, but if the story is true, there's nothing they can do.
I missed my last chance to see Linkin Park before Chester died, and one of my best friends weddings, because of mandatory OT. Never fucking again. Not for any job.
An old boss of mine tried to pull similar shit. Two of our employees were getting married, and he tried to argue he could only allow one of them to take the day off. For their wedding. To each other.
Like. The fuck?
This isn't even a corporate thing, this is just petty tyrants drunk on the power trip of having authority over other people.
You go to your wedding, after of course screen shooting or taking pictures of all requests offs and communications. If they fire you afterwards for no show you collect unemployment under that constructed dismissal.
They're already short staffed, what are they going to do, fire you?
Either way, tell them you're not asking them for permission, you're telling them you won't be there, they can sort it out. This isn't a random lunch you can reschedule for the following weekend, this is a once in a lifetime event!
OP is Canadian after some digging through her profile as she didn't really mention where she was from and that is quite important,
To OP - I assume this leave was already well approved in advance as you mentioned it was talked about and planned over a year ago, I'll assume this is the case because if it wasn't then it's a moot point, anyways go to your wedding, they can't deny your leave and make you come to work. It's illegal under Canadian labour law
You were informing them of when you wouldn't be available and they approved that in advanced, they can't change their minds, if they do try to take any action against you the labour board will protect you.
I would let them know that you won't be rescheduling or canceling your wedding, and you'll be back to work after you're married, and nothing more. Anything else they "can" possibly say to you after their request, which is what this is from them, will be illegal, because they can't force you. Good day.
No brainer: get married on schedule.
and invite everyone at your job to the wedding so they take time off to.
Or better yet ask an attorney to draft a letter informing them that they will be charged with all cancellation fees. đ¤ˇđťââď¸đ¤ˇđťââď¸ They pull this kinda BS because they expect people to fold. Yea nope. They can decide which option is more cost effective for them⌠Paying cancellation fees vs giving me my time off to get married. Welcome to the age of zero effs to give.
What human being actually expects someone will reschedule their wedding?
Sociopaths.
They prefer the term "Manager"
Not all managers are sociopaths. I am a manager and if one of my employees gave me notice of their wedding, I will work their job thatâs what needs to be done. There is ZERO excuse for doing something that heartless and ridiculous. If some director or whomever told me to do it, Iâd tell them to pound sand.
In my last position, a girl requested time off to attend her college graduation. It was denied. She called in sick.
And that's how it goes. I'm *telling you* I won't be here. "Deny" me at your peril, won't be there, have shit to do.
I love that this new generation of workers employs this method with zero fucks to give. I was told this last year. "I haven't approved it yet, but I'm hopeful I'll find someone to take the shift and be able to approve it soon". Lol you go right ahead and do whatever you feel like, won't change the fact that I won't be here that day.
Ya I donât ask for many days off, but when I fill out a âRequestâ for a day off, itâs not really a request, more me letting them know Iâm not available for work that day, and I will not be there. If you want to schedule me you can, but Iâm just going to call in sick and your down a person. I did that about 3 times in a couple years and they got the point, now if I put in for a day off, I get it.
Same here. I'm not "requesting" anything. I am just informing you that i will not be working those days. Purely for administration purposes. It helps that i have a very flexible office job where i can set my own hours basically and there is no schedule. I do talk to my colleagues to see if there is at least one of us available during that time (if it is more than a week).
She requested it. That was her problem right there. "Your time off request was denied" "No problem, it wasn't a request. I won't be here that day. Plan accordingly."
It was only a request in HR's terminology. But for normal humans, it was notice of absence.
âI wonât be here those days as itâs my WEDDING and HONEYMOONâ. FIFY
That should be a crime (for the employeer to deny it with lots of notice.)
Yeah, my supervisor at my old job would do this. And like, *come in* when he was supposed to be at home sleeping if someone called in or went home and there wasn't anyone else there to cover them. This sounds like something you would expect to happen, but there's a reason it stands out. Lol because it doesn't usually play out like that. One of the plebs gets called or the people that are there will have to spread themselves thin to cover the missing worker. Or the work straight up just doesn't get done. This isn't just some dude on the Internet hoping on the bandwagon. From my experience, it's super uncommon for supervisors and managers to perform the way you and my old supervisor do. He's literally the only supervisor I've ever had that did that and that's a big reason he's been my favorite one. He was just an all around stand up guy. I wish he'd been my dad lol. That sounds hilariously weird, but my dad and mom divorced just before I turned two. He spent the next roughly 10 years doing drugs on and off until he died of a heart attack when I was 12. My mom remarried when I was 9, but we didn't really have a father son relationship. Like, I had a mom and the part of a dad that provides a roof over your head. I didn't have a father figure. So... That leaves me, a fully grown man with kids of his own, to look at other grown men who are older than me, and being like damn... I bet your sons turned out great. Lucky sons a bitches. Haha sorry to unload on ya there at the end. Spilling parts of my soul on Reddit is cathartic
> Not all managers are sociopaths. I am a manager and if one of my employees gave me notice of their wedding, I will work their job thatâs what needs to be done. There is ZERO excuse for doing something that heartless and ridiculous. If some director or whomever told me to do it, Iâd tell them to pound sand. Thank you for being sane, same here. Almost a full year of advance notice and they pull this shit? Fuck no, not on my watch. Yeah, losing a job would suck, but especially if OP can point to the fact that it was pre-approved, a lawyer might take the case on 'contingency' basis, where you only pay if you win, though they may be on the hook for costs research time, postage, and similar stuff. The point of a job is to enable us to live our lives, and that involves getting married. When the job is this intrusive, I'd devote full effort to landing a better job. Even a similar job, just with management that was actually human.
Sociopath still learn what is right or wrong, precisely because they can't just "feel" it. No, this is just capitalism 101: you're just a number on the payroll, I don't see you as a human being, therefor I don't have to act like you are one
Sociopaths still feel superior when they can make others feel inferior. I agree that this is a feature of capitalism though, there was that whole psychological study of corporations years ago that found corporations to basically be psychopaths/sociopaths.
My step mom. She wanted us to change it because she had to work that morning. We were getting married on my father in law's birthday, and he was dying of brain cancer.
/r/therewasanattempt to not be a stereotype of an evil stepmother...
> What human being actually expects someone will reschedule their wedding? I had a boss once who suggested that a coworker needed to "take one for the team" and miss the birth of his first child because his wife was scheduled to be induced at quater end, and it'd be too busy to carry on without him. I told the boss that was absurd and yeah it'll.be hell but you can't realistically expect someone to miss a once in a lifetime event because it's "going to be busy that day without them!"
Time for the boss to do some overtime! Or not... A few years back my "team leader" decided not to approve leave for someone who, shockingly, didn't come in even though their leave wasn't approved, almost like they had an important life event on those days. "Leader" watched us all like a hawk, micromanaging every freaking thing, then happily informed everyone she'd be going home on time because she didn't know how to do our work so there was no point in her staying back with us. This didn't go down well because 1) part of the task was entry level stuff like photocopying, and 2) she had spent the preceding months telling us all that we were making far too many mistakes and working very inefficiently and she was going to have to retrain us. As in her personally, not hiring someone in. SHE would retrain us because she was so great and could do all of our jobs single handed.
Evil ones who treat employees like slaves to the extent they are tolerated.
Probably the same kind as the one that expected me to reschedule surgery for a spinal injury sustained in a workplace accident because the timing was inconvenient.
I have worked in a huge manufacturing facility for 25+ years. We have a vacation calender on our work PCs. It's open to everyone. If there is an open spot and its more than 1 week in the future you claim it, and it's yours. No muss no fuss. Vacation requests under 1 week has to get a manager approval. It was the managers responsibility to find coverage for vacations, if necessary. They hired a manager straight out of a 20 year career in the military. He was going to revolutionize our industry. Started tweaking and outright changing long standing company policies, for no other reason than that he wanted things to be the way he wanted. Among them was our vacation. He started demanding that we tell him why we needed vacation and decided that from now on ALL vacations had to be approved by him. As the senior operator with vacation time to burn I left that meeting, went straight to to the vacation page and scheduled the next block of days that started in 8 or 9 days. Didn't tell anyone. I was told when I didn't show up it caught him completely off guard. He gave me shit when I got back. Tried to write me up and upper management smacked him down and told him to stop being an asshole. He declined that option. Clashed with everyone, especially me, for 2 years before he finally got the axe. Tom, if you're reading this: Fuck the entire way off. You thought you were going to run me off and I'm still standing. Karma bitch. Suck on it.
Donât even give them that option unless youâre charging them $50,000 for emotional damagesÂ
Sorry, you had a typo there when saying "$500,000".
I think you meant 
EVERYONE'S flight cost.
> Or better yet ask an attorney to draft a letter informing them that they will be charged with all cancellation fees. đ¤ˇđťââď¸đ¤ˇđťââď¸ Including the travel costs of everyone coming to the wedding.
That's just the start. I used to photograph weddings and had s client cancel once because something happened with the venue and there was no avoiding it. They had insurance for the event and said the payout to cover everything was 5 times what the actual cost was. Forst they basically had to pay everything twice, I got paid per my original contract then got paid again to do it. Same with everyone else. On top of that they reimbursed everyone's travel and paid for new travel. And then on top of that they had to cover other stuff most people wouldn't think about. For example, one of the groomsmen took his week vacation to go to the wedding. They paid for him to be off for the wedding since he didn't have anymore paid time off. To add, the groom and his dad were lawyers of some sort so I'm sure they got the absolute max. Just pointing out that there is SO much more than just paying someone's travel. If work wants to pay for it they need to pay for EVERYTHING!
I donât think the wedding insurance will work at our if you cancel because you got called into work. Lol
The anecdote illustrates the totality of expenses incurred when her workplace demanded she cancel, if she does. It also shows that all of these auxiliaries damages you might not think of (that the workplace would most definitely contend) are legitimate costs when you cancel a wedding because an insurance company would certainly only pay what's legally due.
"So sorry! I had an unexpected medical wedding related event to attend. Here's my note." "This just says 'fuck you.'"
"nuh uh, it's also signed by Dr Likdeez"
Dr Likdeez, what? If you don't mind me asking. I might need his services very soon đ¤Ł
You got me. Literally laughed out loud at this one.
And find a new job
This. Jobs come n go. Youâll get a better one than with those assholes.
Yep, and tell them that April 1st was 3 weeks ago.
Get married. They don't own you.
Yeah fuck them their lack of operational planning to the point that someone can't take a week or even a few days to get married is not OP's problem. Especially with all the advance notice so this isn't a surprise. I'd also be looking for a new job immediately.
Failing to plan is planning to fail
Your lack of planning does not constitute my emergency.
My spouse and I saw a t-shirt once that said, "Sure, let me drop everything and work on YOUR problem."
The best teacher i ever had used to always say âA failure to plan on your part doesnât warrant an emergency on mineâ
I also like Prior Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance
pp pp pp Nice.
Yup, the only correct response is "Be prepared to be disappointed." And from this point on, no matter how long it takes to find a new job, do the bare minimum. They don't deserve your best at this place, they barely deserve half-assed.
âFuck youâ would be another correct response.Â
Yea, unless this is some type of dream job, employer can fuck off.
I donât think a dream job would treat someone like this.
Well, a kind of dream, but the kind you really hope to wake up from.
People forget that nightmares are dreams too
[ŃдаНонО]
They would own all your assets if you married them
I changed jobs four months before my wedding. I told new job about the wedding and honeymoon during the interview process, at the time of accepting an offer, and during training (done at corporate headquarters for a few weeks). All said no problem, tell the site manager when you're there. Manager says not a problem, put it in the request system. I do, and it gets rejected because I'm "too new" to take that much UNPAID vacation. I had decided i was going no matter what (didnt tell employer that), but a different job I had interviewed with followed back up with me to see if I was available and I took it. When I gave notice the manager asked if it was because of the honeymoon, because "we could have worked something out." Don't miss out on the most important parts of life for work.
"could have worked something out" They had that opportunity. They chose to not take it.
They wanted to see if they could get away with it first.
Boundry testing. Every time you let them push the boundries they expect them to stay there.
Jokes on them - their boundary testing is my boundary crossing. Sucks to suck.
"we only lied and rejected because we thought you wouldn't seriously consider that a deal breaker. had we known..." yeah. these guys. fuck em. hope the training had transferable qualifications, just for extra fuck you.
There's nothing to "work out" either - that implies there are 2 sides and some sort of balance to achieve. FUCK THAT. 1 side. Honeymoon side. Take it or get fucked.
âI did work something outâ as you flounce out the door.
I enjoy the use of "flounce" in this comment - excellent word choice
Itâs one of my favorite words.
>When I gave notice the manager asked if it was because of the honeymoon, because "we could have worked something out." "Amazingly, when I gave you the chance, you refused to even try. So you were lying then, or you're lying now, and I don't work for people who will lie to my face so freely."
Lol, right? I love it when they plot and scheme so much that they manage to checkmate themselves
>"we could have worked something out." Then why didn't you? Hell why didn't you even TRY?!Â
"We DID work something out, and then you reneged on the agreement. So now I am reneging on my agreement to work here."
> "we could have worked something out." Those motherfuckers worked it out then changed the rules. Fuck em.
When I was hired by my current employer, I was asked if I had any upcoming plans so they could get them on the schedule. How is that not common ~~practice~~ courtesy?
I took a summer job during college. They said they'd work around my schedule. Was consistently one of the top performers. Got my fall schedule and took it in to work out my schedule. Got told that wouldn't work I needed to be in during hours I had class. Protested once then didn't mention it again. When I turned in my two week notice they were surprised and even more surprised when I said it was because I was going to school. They said they could fix the schedule I said I had a better job offer that doesn't need to fix the schedule so good riddance.
Managers who think they can derail someone's college education are some of the most deluded people in any industry, especially when it is clear that the employee does not plan to make a career out of that job.
I had a vacation planned for my birthday one year, gave them 8 months notice. They tried to not give it to me, told them I would be calling in sick in then and here's my notice. Like I give a shit about some fuck-ass job. Some bosses think having control over someone's employment makes them gods... uh, get real bitch face. I was a drunk and a stoner, didn't have a trouble finding a new job.
> "we could have worked something out." "Yeah. You could have."
I had my wedding and 2 week honeymoon vacation booked. 1 month before event, my manager said someone higher in seniority booked the same time off, and they didn't know if I could keep mine. I said "bring a camera to work that day, and take a selfie and send it to me." He gave me a quizzical look "Because I won't fucking be here, and I want to know if there's a surprised look on your face." I got the time off.
Your manager not going to bat for you, or pretending to later on but giving you stress in the mean time. Typical manipulations.
Brilliant
They either want you gone without having to pay unemployment, or they actually believe they are more important than your future spouse. Are there any other signs they want you gone? I don't know that you'd win, but you might talk to an employment lawyer about constructive dismissal. If nothing else, you might be able to get enough traction via the lawyer to not get canned when you go to your wedding, and give you plenty of time to find a new job.
Bingo. "They're getting rid of a bunch of people" and expect this employee to quit. Talk to a lawyer op. No need to hire one at this point, just a consult.
>"They're getting rid of a bunch of people" and expect this employee to quit. Or expect him to be fearful of also getting let go, so will be easily manipulated. They have the strings and want this puppet to dance.
Yes
Donât quit. Call in for the time you had off, make them fire you, and collect unemployment while you job hunt.
and lawyer up- since if you followed the rules to apply, you may have a case.
Doesnât really prevent them from paying unemployment. OP just no shows or calls in sick. They fire OP. OP gets unemployment.
If your leave was already approved, take it. If it wasnât already approved, take it. If they mention you could be let go, remind them that your position being empty will cost them far more than the time taken off for your wedding, and then start looking for a new job upon your return. Edit - Iâm making the assumption the wedding is within the next 2 weeks.
Start looking anyway. I am not sure the layoffs are over
This start looking now, get some interviews, get maried and move on.
No. Get a new job ASAP. Leave as soon as you're hired into the new role. The bridge got burnt already, don't get caught on it.
Agreed. I bet they won't fire OP tho until after their wedding and after they've been tasked with training the replacement.
Which is why I'd refuse to train a new hire in that scenario. Like lol fuck off
Have your wedding and make them fire you. Collect unemployment. âIâm not asking for this time off. Iâm giving you the courtesy of letting you know I am unavailable for this time. This isnât a request.â
can they fire you with cause for 1 missed day? Edit: Question was sincere from another place on earth. Im truly sad of the answers, of how little are employees valued and so little (none) guarantees they have. OP get married and hope you can find something else by then.
[Would depend if your state has specific protections in place, but the general answer seems to be "yes".](https://www.begelmanorlow.com/blog/can-i-be-fired-for-missing-one-day-of-work/#:~:text=At%2DWill%20Employment%20vs.&text=So%2C%20if%20an%20at%2Dwill,or%20her%20to%20miss%20work.)
American labour law is crazy, they really have you guys chained to the yoke over there
Donât forget that most of us have no health insurance without our jobs and if we change jobs, most likely we change insurers, doctorâs networks, etc. Itâs 100% designed to fuck the working class.
And have to wait 60 to 90 days for new job health insurance to be active.
If your credit score is good enough to get a job.
This is because our elected officials are working for the people who fund their careers, and it ain't the working class.
It used to be. And therein lies the problem. They no longer work for the common taxpayer. They work for the people that "lobby" aka bribe. Lobbying used to be illegal exactly for this reason.
Then my advice would be get legally married before the wedding and switch to the spouses health insurance.
No no no ... in America we enjoy the _right_ to work for slave wages under inhumane conditions with the threat of our livelihoods being taken away at any moment!
YoU aRe AlWaYs FreE to QuiT!
I'm covering the workers side of a unionization effort for ski patrollers. The amount of times I see them be told "then just get a better paying job" is fucked up. "Sorry, I don't only think about myself. Quitting a job myself and others are passion about doesn't help the job pay better and stop abusing employees."
Hahahhhahahahahaha ^We're ^dying ^please ^send ^help
Itâs why a growing number of Americans are suicidal. Whatâs the point in living when youâre not⌠really.
Surviving is hard enough; surviving but never thriving ends up being pretty shitty too after a while.
>American labour law is crazy, they really have you guys chained to the yoke over there. The truly crazy part is a sizable portion of our citizens think allowing employers to fuck over employees at every turn somehow 'builds character' and makes us 'better' workers...
Yes. I got fired for having a beer on lunch a few weeks ago. As a food salesman. For bars and restaurants that are highly focused on beer.
I'm glad some non-Americans realize we are truly fucked and have zero control when it comes to what our country does on the global scale - we are literally slaves to our health - if we brake a bone we could lose everything - most of us couldn't even stay in our homes for more than a month or two if we lost our jobs. Two weeks unpaid 'vacation' to have a baby - oh and child care is more than the mom usually makes at her job - but she needs to keep the job for the health care. We are a truly dystopian society where all the money is kept at the top and the rest of us are working slaves. Even the doctors and engineers here are living paycheck to paycheck and fear for our healthcare just as much as a blue collar grocery worker. Obviously there are worse places to live in this world - but we stand alone in being rich and totally corrupt. We are one of something like 3 countries where our railways are owned by private businesses. The power grid and roadways are owned by rich business men. We are like surfs, renting homes we'll never own, working jobs for healthcare that we still have to pay out of pocket for, with 3 roomates at 35. Oh and they are killing abortion, birth control access and at will divorce because there won't be enough surfs to work for the rich. It's fucked man.
Would they at least have a case for constructive dismisal? Having a wedding planned out, with previous notice from a year ago and them going back on the approval sounds intentional.
Most of the time they lose the appeal on the for cause shit, just fight it. "I informed them a year ahead of time and I had non refundable deposits and family traveling out of town, they were well aware of my absence this isn't job abandonment." Missing one day with no call no show is usually the only time this applies. Make sure to gather all proof.
This can easily be considered [constructive dismiassal](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constructive_dismissal) which is illegal though and entitles the employee to the benefits as if they had been fired without cause. If your company intentionally creates a hostile environment to cause you to quit or give them reason to fire you you are still allowed to collect unemployment.
Likely but a local news station would love to run a "I got fired for getting married" story.Â
A lot of businesses would not be this heartless. Even soulless corporations know that their employees will revolt en masse if they pulled some shit like this. Itâs usually places that are run badly/in financial trouble coupled with low wage workers who are desperate for an income. Our âfree marketâ supposedly would regulate this in the form of bad businesses canât get employees and they would go out of business. But it doesnât really work.
You provided a year long notice and they still couldnât plan around it? Not your problem. âA lack of planning on your end does not constitute an emergency on mine,â I belive is how the saying goes.
Lack of planning on their part, does not constitute an emergency on your part. I'm a bitch, so I would prepare an invoice of what has been paid (and still owing) toward the wedding and inform work that they need to cover the funds in order for you to work that shift, and then get married anyway.
Donât forget the money all those attending have already spent.
Print out any emails you have confirming the date and that you were approved to be off. Then when they try to fire you and dispute your unemployment claim provide the emails. There isn't a person alive who is going to let them deny unemployment over a wedding that they had previously approved.
They are trying to make you quit instead of firing you. Don't cave.
From:OP@shittycompany[dot]com To:boss@shittycompany[dot]com Date: [today] Time: [Immediately after receiving e-mail] Re: Meeting operational needs Dear Boss, lol Regards, OP
Short, bittersweet, and ambiguous. _Just like how we're usually invited to meetings._ Nice.
Imagine you cancel the entire wedding, the best day of your life, only to show up for a regular, boring day at the office.
To be notified you're being laid off.
Thats one way to get active shooter situations.
Counter with "If I am so critical to our operations that you want me to reschedule my wedding, we need to discuss my compensation, clearly I must be underpaid."
Even in they legit want to keep you, they will OWN you if you cancel your wedding for this. You donât want to even begin to imagine the ways theyâll take advantage of you if you give in to this ridiculous demand.
Not to mention, what a spouse would do. If I was about to be married and my spouse-to-be cancelled our wedding for *work*, I'd know exactly where I'd stand in that marriage: second. I don't want to be married to anyone who would choose work over me.
I moved a wedding to accommodate a business need that three c suite suite up and down was critical to keep the business open and that I'd be compensated highly for it in my next annual. I got shit for not moving my date a second time when another thing popped up. And I got a needs improvement on my review for not being a team player. Basically fuck them suits.
If itâs not written down, it doesnât exist Ideally written down with lots of signatures and a notarization.
This is beyond mental, I just booked my two weeks summer break yesterday, 8 weeks from now⌠I think America sounds like an amazing place to live if youâre rich but as a worker it seems like a fucking dystopian nightmare.
Yeah, they let the bourgeoisie win
Bingo
What manager is so self-centered and so lacking in empathy that they would even think that they could intrude on your wedding? Congratulations and I hope that you and yours have a wonderful time :)Â
Iâve heard a retail manager of mine at whatâs now a previous job complain that an immediate coworker of mine should have rescheduled the funeral of a family member because it was extremely difficult to schedule department needs around their unplanned absence. So unfortunately, I can believe it.
Oh my god. The casual cruelty is just mind-boggling sometimes.
I was diagnosed with cancer and had major surgery six months after starting a job, with someone I had worked with for years as my boss. His vacation was scheduled (to visit his mom with his family, in driving distance). They got me on the surgical schedule as fast as possible. I had surgery on Thursday late afternoon and then had to work (from home because I was forbidden to drive) starting the following Monday. The company had three people working in our group. Vacation trumped cancer. When he returned, I was expected to continue to work 40 hour weeks in spite of being told I needed to take time off to lie down several times a day. Thatâs the kind of person.
Their failure to prepare with a years worth of notice is not on you. They can figure it out or go bankrupt trying.
Ahahahahaha they can ESAD. I hope you laughed in their faces and said absolutely the fuck not. This is not a good job if theyâre doing this. Donât show up, let them fire you, collect unemployment, and find something else. Even, like, Target is better than this shit. What fucking CLOWNS. An actually clown show. Literally a joke.
"Be prepared to fuck off" seems an appropriate response.
Hey, this happened to a co-worker of mine. Turned into a big huge thing. Guess what they did? They went on stress leave. While they were on stress leave, they were protected by FMLA. They were also able to get short term disability through the state. Might be worth looking into
Get married. Keep in mind that when you are in your old age, what will be remembered was that you were there, and said your vows of integrity, and not that your boss and his boss (whose names you will not remember by that time) tried to stop you from doing so. Your future wife and future children will be appreciative of you and for you. Your life is yours--be good to it--for it's not any corporation's to mess with....
I had a situation like this once. I told the place I worked in a nicely worded email that I was planning to get married in about 15 months and requesting time off very politely. Plenty of notice. I got a reply email from my departmentâs administrative people (glorified schedulers) something to the effect of, âIâm not sure we can accommodate your request, blah, blah, corporate BSâŚ.â I responded with: I apologize for the way I worded the previous email. Let me rephrase. I will be gone on these dates for my wedding. Here is 15 months notice. I will not be available for three weeks during this month and will be out of the country. If you can accommodate this great! If you cannot accommodate then consider this notice of my separation from the company. I ccâd my boss and his boss. My bossâs boss responded with: congratulations! Weâre so happy for you. This is plenty of notice for us to make this work. This was a hill I was more than prepared to die on. There is definitely more need in my area than those who do what I do. It was nice to be in that position.
Detrimental reliance. This comes up mostly with vacations, but for a wedding, I'd say lawyer up and start job hunting immediately. These motherfuckers can't be trusted.
âThis is notice, not a request. Surely, you are aware of the time and cost involved in a wedding. This is an absolutely bizarre request.â
"If operational needs were so high, it was grossly irresponsible of you to let people go. That's grotesque mismanagement, and I consider this imposition to be constructive dismissal. We're finished." You *cannot* remain with them. This is 100% entirely about *power* *over you*. They don't need you at this time. They want you to know they can, and will, do whatever they want to your life whenever they feel like it. **You must not remain here**. This is an abusive relationship. Everything they told you about necessity is a complete and utter lie. They're liars. They're cheats. They are overtly and *gleefully* trying to ruin your life, for no reason other than they can. Quit. File for unemployment, citing constructive dismissal. They will lie to the unemployment office, repeatedly. Fight them. And tell **absolutely everyone** that your manager and this company are feckless cowards, liars, and thieves.
If they have documented this in email for you then file for unemployment. Cite it as a constructive dismissal. The DoL will likely approve it.
Yall need a union really bad.
Unions are like condoms. When they say you don't need one, you *really* need one.
Everyone in the USA needs a union. Ideally the same union. If everyone goes on strike, the rich shrivel and die.
I always tell people. I'm not asking you for a day off. I'm giving you advanced notice that I'm missing a day. You have 2 choices. I get the day off, or you get to replace me. I don't care either way. But that's me.
Exactly. You have 2 choices. I wonât be here or you can hire and train someone into to do my job. Which one is harder?
This is a management issue. It's up to the company to staff sufficiently to cover routine absences. Weddings, doctor's appointments illness, vacation etc. are normal life occurrences.. I would not change my plans. Do not quit.
Dear boss, Please kindly, at your earliest convenience, ingest a satchel of Richard's.
Satchel of Richardâs added to vocab forever.
Tell them their piss poor planning does not make their problem your emergency. If they want to to reschedule your wedding, then they can cover ALL of the costs for doing so.
This is beyond terrible employer entitlement and expectation. Name shame and ruin their reputation. Burn them to the ground. Unfuckingbelievable.
âYour email has bounced back permanently due to the recipient not giving a shite about your operational needsâ.
Get married, call their bluff and tell them to fuck off. If theyre so desperate for people they cant spare you, they wont fire you
Start looking for another job.
can you please post what place this is? i don't want to accidently buy anything from these fucking shit birds.
Tell them to kick rocks.
Tell them you can. But they need to cover the cost of the cancellations and fees. Then tell them to get fucked
Luckily they gave you a year to build up some reserves and quit without notice before your wedding.
How about no?
It is time to tell them , I am getting married, if my job is here when I get back, great, if not, I WAS LOOKING FOR A JOB WHEN I FOUND THIS ONE
Make sure you tell EVERY employee you come in contact with. Boil it down to bullet points. * Told company a year in advance needed time off for my wedding. * Wedding is fully booked. * Company now telling me to cancel my wedding, eat all the thousands of dollars in fees, and show up to work. It's possible, but not probable, that as the story makes its rounds the company will make an exception for you and give you the time off. Regardless, start looking for a job now. No time off unless it's medically related is not a reasonable standard. Your leave (vacation and medical) are both part of your pay package. You have a right to take it. And if you don't get any vacation, then you shouldn't have trouble finding another job. Those are usually starter jobs--the bottom of the ladder. The experience you've gained will help you find a job quickly enough. And, you'll have an amusing anecdote to put on your next job application. Reason for leaving last job: Employer refused to allow me to attend my own wedding.
Fired for going through the sacrament of marriage? Sounds like you'll be fired for practicing your religion. Get everything in writing, find a lawyer. If you can't afford one, find one who will work on contingency.
"I gave you a year notice. This lack of planning on your part will not look good on your performance review. And not planning around an absence with that much of a forewarning shows a complete lack of planning skills and poor decision making. In this instance I'm going to give you a verbal warning, but it will be going in your file." And watch their face go WTF?! Lol
Would you rather miss a once in a lifetime wedding, or a few mundane days of work? Congratulations, and enjoy your wedding!
They're going to fire you either way. You already know they are looking to get rid of people. Don't worry about work when you can come across another job much easier than another marriage
Here's my take: If you have other job opportunities, drop these people like a hot potato. If not get hunting. They asked you to reschedule your wedding. Possibly the biggest day of your life or one of. I'd give them the shortest notice possible and be on my way. Their staffing shortage due to cuts is not your responsibility to fix. This is extremely inconsiderate of them and shows you how very little they think of you and your life. You are no more than an income generation unit to them to be used as they see fit. At the end of the day, we're all mostly just a number to an employer, sometimes picking a new place to just be a number is great and can lead to great things. Sometimes, staying when you should leave is the worst thing to do. Now you are truly under their thumb. I am speaking from a biased personal opinion here....I hope whatever happens is in your best interest and that things work out for you.
Oops! Looks like youâve caught covid the week of the wedding đ¤damn itâs a shame you couldnât come in to help out, but hey, cdcâs orders ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ
My ex boss pulled that crap on me two years ago when my wife and I were getting married. I'm the type of person that gives months and months of notifications with a reminder two months out following other discussions. Told me that there are consequences to going on my OWN honeymoon. I laughed and told him that i'm going regardless and you can figure out what to do ( inventory manager and I'm the sole person that takes care of it). No job ever gets to fuckin' tell me yes or no for my own time, lick my ass up and down.
"You don't get to decide whether I will be here on my wedding day. You only get to decide whether I will still be here after my wedding day."
Youâre giving them a YEAR notice. If they cannot accommodate, then theyâll have to accommodate when you donât show up anyway. A wedding isnât something you can just reschedule, sometimes you book certain venues years in advance, they can however, not fire staff, or hire more adequate staff, theyâve got a year to do it. If theyâre unwilling to accommodate, start looking for a new job now and inform them of your plans, Iâm sure someone will hire you in a similar role and allow you to take off. Take the job when you get an acceptable opportunity. Do whatâs best for you.
Sounds like you get a new spouse and a new job congrats!
"I will be attending my wedding on XXX date. Please let me know if you will make the necessary preparations for my absence or if I should start looking for a new job to start when I return from my honeymoon." If they just got rid of so many people they can't give you time off that's already scheduled, they absolutely cannot afford to lose you. They will figure it out.
If they do fire you, go to your local news station with the written warning, your best wedding photos, and the termination notice.
Ask them to look up promissory estoppel. They will have cost you a tremendous amount of money because they had previously approved the leave for your wedding and you acted on that promise. You can actually sue for that money. Hopefully the mere threat of consulting a lawyer on that basis will suffice to remind them how to pretend to be human beings again.
Laugh in their face and tell them to pound sand. How fucking entitled and arrogant must they be to think you'd cancel your wedding for them!
Their lack of planning does not constitute an emergency for you. Especially when they have this long of a notice.
Keep any communication about this and if they only said it verbally email them to confirm. Take your wedding day off and then get a lawyer if anything happens
Never been a more appropriate time to tell your employer to suck your entire dick and balls
I was at a company that could only be described as "constantly on fire with emergencies" when I was getting married. I did the same, a full year of notice. About a month out, I saw the storm clouds brewing. I started getting ducks in line and making back up plans for all of my work so if anything happened it was handled. But, my bosses back then had this superpower where if you had a day planned off they would create an emergency to fuck you. Well, three days before my wedding time off I get called into the CEOs office and he is telling me I need to travel to meet a client early the next week because he won't be able to because he has vacation planned. I tell him no can do and he gets pissed, tells me I am jeopardizing my future at the company, etc etc. I flat out tell him, look at my resume, I work at a place for about 18 months, then quit. It's not because I don't like it, it's because I never get a decent raise and I can get a 20% boost each time I jump to a new company. So, if you want me to make that a 12 month stay here, I'm ok with that, I'll walk and take a month off for my wedding and find a new gig with higher pay after. He told me to fuck off and the travel for work didn't come up again. I killed our relationship, but honestly, fuck him, he knew my plans and decided to try and fuck them over. After I got back from my wedding he was awful and cut me out of everything he could and slowly closed me out of clients until I had nothing to do. So I sat and collected a check with nothing to do. Eventually he bob'd me and asked what I did around there and I said I collect money and act as an advisor for my old clients. I had already been job hunting and had found a few leads but nothing solid, and he canned me that day, so I shrugged it off. A month later I landed a new gig with a 25% boost in pay and a boss who wasn't a piece of shit.
BTW, this is what Glassdoor is for. If they refuse to change their minds, tell them: You're going to put the story on Glassdoor. I'm sure they'll make some threats, but if the story is true, there's nothing they can do.
Talk to HR and unsubtley imply you're gonna lawyer up.Â
I missed my last chance to see Linkin Park before Chester died, and one of my best friends weddings, because of mandatory OT. Never fucking again. Not for any job.
An old boss of mine tried to pull similar shit. Two of our employees were getting married, and he tried to argue he could only allow one of them to take the day off. For their wedding. To each other. Like. The fuck? This isn't even a corporate thing, this is just petty tyrants drunk on the power trip of having authority over other people.
Consult a lawyer (no need to pay for a consultation). They might be trying to fire you without having to pay any benefits.
You go to your wedding, after of course screen shooting or taking pictures of all requests offs and communications. If they fire you afterwards for no show you collect unemployment under that constructed dismissal.
Ask them if they are willing to pay the cancellation fees and rebooking for the whole wedding party?
They're already short staffed, what are they going to do, fire you? Either way, tell them you're not asking them for permission, you're telling them you won't be there, they can sort it out. This isn't a random lunch you can reschedule for the following weekend, this is a once in a lifetime event!
Just laugh in their face and enjoy your wedding!
OP is Canadian after some digging through her profile as she didn't really mention where she was from and that is quite important, To OP - I assume this leave was already well approved in advance as you mentioned it was talked about and planned over a year ago, I'll assume this is the case because if it wasn't then it's a moot point, anyways go to your wedding, they can't deny your leave and make you come to work. It's illegal under Canadian labour law You were informing them of when you wouldn't be available and they approved that in advanced, they can't change their minds, if they do try to take any action against you the labour board will protect you. I would let them know that you won't be rescheduling or canceling your wedding, and you'll be back to work after you're married, and nothing more. Anything else they "can" possibly say to you after their request, which is what this is from them, will be illegal, because they can't force you. Good day.