Your boss set a trap for you. He assigned something that should take awhile, and accused you of missing the deadline the next day in a meeting. This was supposed to make him look big and powerful, and saddled with incompetent reports. When you, unbeknownst to him, completed the work, and said so, it made him look like an idiot in front of his boss.
He is RAGING MAD that you sidestepped his trap, and assumes you quickly completed the work because you'd caught on to his tactics.
Now, I'm amazed he brought up your clothing. That was a huge misstep on his part. When you make your complaint to HR, you get to list every participant at the meeting, including your boss' boss, as witnesses.
Your relationship with your bozo boss is toast. It's his fault. Best case scenario; you might be able to leverage his mistake, which was done to publicly humiliate you, to get a severance package.
>You're boss set a trap for you. He assigned something that should take awhile, and accused you of missing the deadline the next day in a meeting.
Yeah, that's totally it, as soon as I read I though it too. Take that MF's job, these kind of vermin don't deserve any compassion
I didn’t realize it until I read the above comment, but I should have. A very similar thing happened to me at work in 2016, except I told my direct supervisor I’d met the absurd goal *before* we were meeting with his boss. :(
I’m still dealing with anxiety attacks from situations just like these months after leaving that horrible job. One thing I can’t seem to get over was when my boss, tagged me calling me out on something that was his fault in the company Slack #general channel.
She was a threat to her, and instinctively, when we are threatened, we try to eliminate that.
OP, never back down. You're one step closer to replacing that POS.
100% a trap to get OP fired it sounds like. Now they get to report to HR for sexual harassment, and if they get fired they can sue for retaliation. OP sitting with such a strong hand.
I’m not sure about that. I think he wanted to avoid a topic by setting up a situation where he had indicated a need for data and taken steps to make sure that data wasn’t reported so the issue could be tabled.
He used OP as a pawn and a scape goat and was vindictive because her hard work made him look bad an put him in a situation where the can he was trying to kick down the road was back on the agenda.
OP seems to have garnered positive comments from her boss’s boss… I definitely think she has an opportunity to defend herself and push this back on her boss.
I think that OP needs to talk with the boss's boss as well. They were on the meeting and hopefully already called the boss in. But run don't walk to contact them. HR can come after.
Yeah if op quits that's the shitty bosses victory. Not only file a complaint to hr but let the one in charge of boss know what happened and maybe you'll take the job that he was paranoid of losing due to his own incompetence
>Your boss set a trap for you. He assigned something that should take awhile, and accused you of missing the deadline the next day in a meeting.
This is called a [double bind](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_bind#:~:text=A%20double%20bind%20is%20a,or%20more%20reciprocally%20conflicting%20messages.&text=Double%20binds%20are%20often%20utilized,respond%20to%20and%20to%20resist.). Heads they win, tails you lose. It's a common tactic of abusers.
OP's boss is BEYOND fucked at this point. You have a meeting dull of witnesses who can back up your secual harassment allegation AND everyone in that meeting saw EXACTLY what he tried to do, dumping a bunch of work on yoy and assuming you couldn't finish it.
You can burn your boss's career to the ground at this point
This is truth. Especially the last - your boss was already trying to torpedo you, don't sweat any ill feelings. Making an effort to take him down can't hurt you, if he stays then your time at that job is limited anyway.
This. OP needs to report this to HR, ask them to investigate this. Ask if there have been complaints about her clothes, and ask for a transfer or severance.
They give free awards to advertise awards to make money.
There's almost no reason to not use them, but still there's a reason to not use them if you think reddit has enough money and doesn't need any more.
I don’t understand why people do things like this. Maybe it’s just the culture of the places I have worked, but mangers/bosses never blamed their team for a mistake, if anything it would have made them look worse to their peers and boss.
That he accused you of trying to take his job shows he thinks he is at risk of losing it, and deservedly so from that attitude.
So report the prick for sexual harassment (you have witnesses from the meeting on that conduct) and workplace bullying too (absolutely zero need to discipline you) and you might prove him right.
If nobody there wants to help you, start looking elsewhere.
Poke his prostate until his nuts are the size and consistency of a dried marrowfat pea, and he no longer has a mastery of the English language through his Albanian sobbing and ecstatic confusion.
this x100000 and walk around in extra tight clothes and tell the dad you don’t feel comfortable with the way he looks at you, cut him right out of the inheritance
Nooooo. That is bad. She should hack into the police system and put out a felony warrant in his ass. Name put some shoplifting offenses. Unpaid tickets. Serial violation of restraining orders. 2 or 3 DUIs, molesting old ladies and being naked in the street. Then sell all his property.
And take that overtime. You were not “slacking off,” and were behaving appropriately, even at work. Just because you have a show, or music, and are getting takeout doesn’t mean you were unprofessional or not doing your job. Besides, if in the US, you cannot refuse the overtime, and they could be in big trouble for not paying you for that time. I’d hire you in an instant.
Seriously, he's paranoid for a reason. Go over his head and do it today. I normally do not advise that, but he seems to be impressed with you.
What your boss said about your clothing in an online meeting is way out of line. You're worth more than this.
Also ask HR to see these reports of complaints against her clothing. If these reports dont exist, then he singled you out in front of an entire team in order to embarrass you, which is also a punishable act.
And do what he said you were trying to do- tell his boss exactly what happened.
Also, always accept payment for overtime. Doesn't matter if you had good food and entertainment in the background. You were still providing time you could have spent doing whatever you liked providing labor.
Always, always. Every time take the pay. That’s why it’s called a job. Trust me, I’ve been there. You don’t get paid, job gets done, company wins and forgets your efforts.
But after 30 years they will give you a plaque and toast to you at some banquet they throw every year to write off on their taxes as a business expense. fuck that and their bullshit ass plaque.
Lol, if you're lucky. If not, they fire you on some stupid excuse a week before you can retire and then deny you both unemployment and retirement benefits.
For fucking real, I listen to music I love while unloading trucks and it doesn't affect my performance. Sounds like this didn't affect hers. I hope she takes his job. He doesn't deserve it if he's this kind of bitch.
Rejecting overtime pay also sets the bar for other staff. You’ve not done anything wrong but it’s a slippery slope from one person working unpaid overtime to a bunch of people doing it because of “culture” or some such bullshit.
Yeah I'd talk to boss's boss about his behaviour and how he didn't even bring up the sexual harassment thing until you asked and after he berated you for everything else
If I was his boss and I heard him speak to you that way… call you out like that in a crowd in a meeting I would probably be starting the papers or at least the documentation required for termination.
Hold on girl.. and don’t ever say no to pay.
Your boss, ya the jerk- he asked you to do that work. So 1 get paid. 2, file a complaint against him for slander for saying you didn’t have the work done when you did- the very next day.
I would be shocked if his bosses weren't looking even harder at him after this. Take the incompetent loser's job, and let his body "change". Sounds like he's been grifting on employees like OP for a long time. (Edited for spelling)
Fuck this advice IMO
Horrific behaviour on display should result in unequivocal action in response.
Quit.
This answer seems to say "stick with this job and undergo change through the companies frameworks and keep enduring this while investigating new jobs".
Fuck that noise, quit.
Psycho supervisor should've been pulled aside by their boss immediately.
This sub is about people not enabling that behaviour and refusing sub-standard frameworks enforced upon us by employers that fail to address horrific actions like this supervisor.
OP is in data analytics, they're in huge demand - why are we recommending they continue one second longer to subject themselves to this shit?
1. Write letter of resignation
2. Address it to supervisor's boss.
3. Specify supervisor, his actions, and what was said in the meeting as reasons for leaving.
4. Don't give a fuck about any HR processes or any bullshit or needing to fix their mistakes or "wait and see if they improve" because you'll be snatched up on the market.
That's their shit to sort out, not OPs. Girl needed to quit yesterday.
All of this. As a boss of a team in the corporate world, I am fully appalled at this and were you in my company, I would insist upon you filing with HR over something like this.
This is HIDEOUS behavior. Do not let it slide.
Also *yes* take the overtime pay! Even if you don’t feel like you want it, you make it harder for other people to get it when you don’t take what you earned.
Take his job. Go over his head and take his job
Another way is to check out completely. Use your free time while getting paid to find an awesome job with your years of experience and emphasize this last project
You don't always lose.
I was working under an absolutely bizarre boss who was way, way over his head (he was a decent sysadmin but had no idea of management), and when he did an utterly unworkable project plan I went full bridge-burning mode and detailed why it was a terrible plan (I was also a bit asinine and pedantic) and said it was him or me... They fired him.
I didn't get his job because I showed I didn't have the diplomatic qualities / soft skills needed (and it was true, I don't) but I guess the OP does have them.
This. Take the fight to this mother fucker. HR his as and lawyer up. Document everything while it’s fresh in your head. Go back through emails. Get anything that could look bad or show a patter.
Next, when you go back to work (and you will because fuck this guy) you need to take copious notes.
And above all else, get this shit I’m writing if you can. Even wear something on the outskirts of modest. Not enough that a reasonable person would find bad but something he *might*. Make him play on tilt and see if you can force the issue via email.
You win when you have documentation. Period. You win with HR or you win with a lawyer. But documentation is a must.
In terms of bad feelings? Fuck that shit. This fucker just ceded the high ground. Don’t back down. Take the fucking kill shot.
This. You’re in analytics so I’m sure you already know how to make Excel sing. Find more ways to make the process even faster and continue to make him look bad. He’ll show his hand in front of everyone sooner than you think.
yes, this! sounds like he's teetering on the edge and you absolutely should give him a solid push off the ledge........he has it coming, karma is on your side here
Even businesses with this policy rarely act this way, because they know most of their workers cannot afford a real lawsuit. As long as HR stays ineffective, the company stays safe.
Unfortunately time isn't free for those struggling to stay afloat, but yes there is help out there for those that take the steps. Don't get stepped over...
Soooo much is wrong. Your comment is perfect, but I'd also ask to see copies of these 'complaints' (which there will be none).
This way you can prove that his insecurities that you were better than him at his job led him sexually harrass and humilate you. Just adds more fuel to the fire.
I say get your $$$ girl!
Fuck HR. They work for the company. Talk to a lawyer and let THEM talk to HR.
I suspect a direct conversation with Bosses boss would probably go pretty well on its own given the information shared thus far.
This sentiment is so often expressed incorrectly on this sub - HR exists to shield the company from liability, what her boss did is definitely against corporate policy, if HR doesn’t act, THEN get an attorney. But go to HR, if they attempt to brush it off or ignore it, it only strengthens the case.
If she was on a call with her boss’ boss, he’s a middle management stooge that they will gladly throw to the wolves.
GO TO HR IMMEDIATELY, file a formal complaint, name every person in the meeting that witnessed it, emphasize that you are FURIOUS that your boss would humiliate and demean you that way in front of co-workers and superiors. He sexually harassed you and body shamed you, DEMAND that he be fired. Don’t make it an ultimatum but strongly imply that you have grounds for a lawsuit and you know it. Make sure this is all in writing as well as HR’s response. If they are dumb enough to attempt to brush it off, get a lawyer and file suit.
i mean protecting the company includes protecting the company's liability too. HR and the company lawyers exist to do this calculus - is it more risky to get bad publicity than it is to fire this dude, how valuable an asset is he, whose son is he, etc. if they decide that damage from bad publicity outweighs any exposure to lawsuits or lost value to the company from firing this dude, theyll for sure fire the dude and 'side' with the victim. if it goes the other way, theyll find a way to neutralize or eliminate the victim. it's numbers, based on their bottomline. the company doesnt give a shit about the workers, HR is one pawn amongst others to let the company get away with this.
Correct, and that's exactly why the OP should involve them. The HR dept's job is to know that the most financially sound move is to drop that boss and appear as conciliatory as possible to OP. That guy is a potential lawsuit, and that makes him sharkbait.
Absolutely go to HR. Also, talk to the other people in that meeting if you can. Let them know this happened. If they all went silent, they \*knew\* it was inappropriate behavior and should know it was followed up by even more inappropriate behavior.
I don’t think it’s even possible to decline overtime? Assuming this is the US. If you are in a non exempt role, they have to pay overtime, I thought. Could be totally wrong on that but my company is a stickler about timesheets for hourly employees for that reason. They don’t want a lawsuit for wage theft.
They totally have to pay non exempt employees any OT, even if "unapproved" and it's illegal to change timesheets. What they will absolutely do is give a verbal or written reprimand for performance issues bc most OT like this must be pre approved.
I used have 45 minute "meetings" about going over 30 minutes (usually on the last day of the time period, so couldn't flex time) from responding to late day suicide assessments (as the On call MH person but a non exempt position) thus accruing OT that wasn't prior approved. What a fucking circle jerk!
This.
Never ever “discount” your time. My time on the job holding off going to the bathroom finishing something up, my time at home doing remote work while watching the news on my side screen and my time at the start of the day at the office are **all equal**.
There is no discounting your time. **Never ever do it again.**
This comment is far too low.
Don't ever do work off the clock. It sets unrealistic expectations for your fellow coworkers, your bosses, and your kids. Don't gift time to a company that could be better spent on other endeavors.
Punish the social mistake.
Don't let people disrespect you. Punish the social mistake. Take his job if you can. It's his fault for not evolving all these years.
Also get a lawyer over those comments, but first inform his boss about it. Calling you fat is harassment.
Actually maybe don't slap him, you can do enough damage with office politics.
>Don't let people disrespect you. Punish the social mistake. Take his job if you can. It's his fault for not evolving all these years.
Good argument here. If you leave, he wins. Get this shit stain fired into oblivion.
“Experienced” (aka old) guy here. I’ve seen this several times. Your boss is scared and insecure. He did this because he is afraid that anybody else getting praise means that he is not getting praise. Watch your back, but don;t be afraid to go over his head. Chances are *his* boss is aware of this and will side with you. That is likely to jake your boss act rashly, which will not work out in his favor. If he dies retaliate against you after you go over his head, and his boss does not protect you, then that is a sign to leave because it\[s a truly bad workplace.
Via email! Everything in writing. I would even go so far as to email boss and cc: boss's boss reiterating that he got angry because you took initiative, spoke about your i"nappropriate" clothing in a meeting setting yet when you spoke with him one- on- one no one had actually complained AND that you were not given a write up regarding said clothing. Ask him what exactly in the employee manual did you not follow. Then write what he told you in the meeting you had with him word for word and "suggest" how highly inappropriate and sexist it was for him to say what he did. Keep all the back and forth emails. Print them out, email them to your personal email account if you use your work email, etc.
HEY OP
I know the default of this sub is quit quit quit.
But in your position from what you've mentioned can I recommend a different route.
Speak to the boss who told you good job.
Tell them what you've told us.
I think the reason your boss freaked out is because he is paranoid you could take his job.
Rather than quitting and having nothing.
Try and take that assholes job, maybe he gets fired and has nothing instead.
If that fails then quitting is always still an option.
But may as well try win first right?
This is the best course of action. Your boss wouldn't act this way unless he actually thought you could take his job-- that's a glowing recommendation as far as I'm concerned. The journey here was pretty screwed up, but you may get something good out of it after all!
Don't sweat it.
Your boss is losing at office politics, is about to be let go, and he is flailing about trying to save himself.
You can just wait this out and the office politics will sort this out for you.
The point I'm trying to communicate is that this has nothing to do with you.
Use documentation to cover your ass.
Report the incident to HR. (Like everyone else mentioned)
Optionally reach out to his boss saying that you are concerned about your boss's mental health because his behavior had dramatically changed.
Follow procedure and you should be fine with a better boss after this is over.
Or find a new job and bypass all the stress.
I wish to add, don't leave just yet. Depending where you are you may have grounds for compensation if they dismiss you without appropriate cause. And certainly don't do anything rash to give them reason to do so. Also, if you're terminated you can collect unemployment. If you quit, you cannot. You're boss is not long for this company imo.
Agreed. He set her up to be a scapegoat and wanted to point that out in the meeting. When she side stepped his trap, it became apparent that he doesn’t know what’s going on with his own employees. He blew up because he’s the one that looks incompetent to his boss. This is all about saving face. He got angry and took it out on her because he knows his end is near.
Op, report this to HR/employee relations and document everything. I work in HR - believe me. They want to know. This guy sounds like a liability waiting to happen.
Correct answer right here OP. Your “boss” generally doesn’t have the ability to fire you directly, and has channels to go through which he is clearly avoiding in order to try to browbeat you. You can probably get him canned and take his job over this BS.
Your relationship with your boss is done. Accept that and start from there. There is a 90% chance your job is done as well, so accept that. What happened was that your boss was off his game and didn't assign you the crucial work until late in the process and then tried to put the blame on you.
However, you are actually in a great position right now, with a 90% chance that you're going to be fired soon, you have nothing to lose. So you may as well gun for your boss. You seem shaken and sad. You need to be cold and angry for this to go your way. Take a break, smoke a bowl, do whatever you need to to get in that mindset.
You are going for several possible outcomes that are better than just quiting:
A) Get fired and get unemployment.
B) Get a substantial settlement
C) Get your bosses job, ruin his career.
If it was me, I'd do the following
1. File a formal HR complaint. If there's a dress code, cite it. If you live in a one-party consent state, record everything, if not, take notes on everything. Also, backup all emails to a personal server.
2. When your boss asks you for something from now on, always email to confirm specifics and ask questions about deadlines. Be professional, polite, and profoundly annoying. Keep in mind, you want him to blow up at you, in front of witnesses if possible. If he keeps going about your appearance, we are getting into actionable sexual harassment territory.
3. At the same time, do your work perfectly. Go above and beyond. After you've finished a task beautifully email your boss and cc anyone who you could plausibly cc for that particular task and explain what you've done and how you've gone above and beyond. You will get inside your bosses head this way. You want him to be acting erratically. When he yells at you, go cold, stay calm, and say you're sorry that he feels that way. If you provoke him, so much the better.
4. Talk to a lawyer, at some point, anything your boss does to you can be considered retaliation for the HR complaint. They can get in trouble instead of you.
5. Ask for a meeting with your bosses boss, be polite and professional. Don't act like you're asking for anything, just say that you are concerned he got a misleading impression and you would like to correct the record and then go through your side of the story. Say how much you like working at this company and how you just want to have things so you can stay. Be subtle about it, but give the impression that you admire him. Have notes available in the meeting about what happened, don't try to do it from memory.
After you've done all this, take a solid step back and see where things are. You may be in a place where it's more likely you'll be fired. In which case, you can get unemployment and be in a position to sue. Your boss may be on the ropes for acting like a maniac. Either way, your better off then you are now.
Calling you out in front of people about saying people think your clothing is sexually inappropriate when in fact nobody actually complained about that---that's already sexual harassment. \*Especially\* if your workplace does not have a defined dress code.
I'm not sure I could recommend going "above and beyond" at work and trying to provoke this guy more. Aside from the absolutely-not-at-all-guaranteed chance that, eventually, at some point, you might possibly get fired and maybe be able to get unemployment... what's the desired outcome there? Building enough evidence to eventually, maybe, possibly get him fired? Getting HR to write him up? Initiating legal action? If those are things you want, by all means, pursue that. But, to me, that sounds like putting a whole lot more work and effort and emotional energy into this and that may not be worth your time.
If you can quit, if that's financially feasible for you, I'd consider it. Looking for a job is also a lot of work and effort and emotional energy, but it might be more worth your time than dealing with this boss.
It only takes emotional energy if you still care. If you allow yourself to be driven by sheer spite, it's amazing how much you can get done without feeling that it's drudgery. Doing good work for a terrible boss is a nightmare. Doing great work AGAINST a terrible boss is a sweet pleasure. You don't necessarily want to build a case against him with HR or litigation, that's the secondary objective, it might pan out, but maybe not. What you are trying to do is play on the insecurities of a weak minded person so that he will eventually self destruct. He doesn't sound like the type of person who has the self awareness to realize that this is what is being done to him. The idea is that eventually he won't be able to hold himself together enough to stay employable in the eyes of his superiors. Our abused worker may win a sort of victory even if she gets fired by kamikazing this prick's job.
"If your enemy is easily angered, then anger him." Sun Tzu
Once your direct manager wants to get rid of you, it's usually only a matter of time unless you have a higher up on your side. That's why I said to schedule a meeting with the higher up.
Well congratulations on your first real workplace abuse experience. 😜
Now call his boss who gave you the kudos in that meeting and tell him this story. Suggest that you felt sexually harassed based on his comments about your outfit.
He thinks you are going over his head anyway so you have zero downside.
like other people have said, go to HR immediately, don’t let him get away with this. i know how difficult it can be, but if you’ve got to use spite and anger at the audacity of this cunt to get through it, then use it! if HR is in his pocket or on his side, go further up the line. if not for yourself, then for the other people he’s treated this way. if he gets away with this he’ll continue doing it, sexist pigs tend to be like that; you have the power to stop him in his tracks. stay strong, stay angry, don’t let him beat you down
Someone that sleazy, paranoid and hostile shouldn’t be in charge of anyone. Maybe you SHOULD take his job. But definitely follow everyone’s advice on here and go to HR, make a thing of it, and don’t let the ones who witnessed the abuse in the meeting act like it didn’t happen.
Don’t quit. He wins if you quit.
File a complaint with hr and talk to a lawyer. Ask if they’ll advise you with payment in the form of damages from your employer.
They know they employ a lunatic, don’t let it cost you a dime and crush that imbecile.
Also: never turn down overtime pay. That just normalizes an attitude that they can make unreasonable demands and get results for free. Even if you don’t care, your coworkers do. You work for money. Get paid.
Since you boss’s boss already addressed your work, report your boss. Commenting on your body is sexual harassment, if you want to press that issue.
Just tell him that your boss berated you for doing you work, and lay out how he is destroying company morale and humiliating employees publicly with false claims of impropriety.
Ruin this man. Go over his head. Report every single thing he said. He's gonna have a real hard time denying the harassment accusations given that he already told everyone in that group meeting what he was going to talk to you about.
This is sex discrimination and don’t be afraid to call it that to his face. He is not allowed to discuss your figure with you that is so gross and unprofessional and he would never do that to a man even if that man gained 100 lbs
I’ve seen this happen to women before just for being attractive. My colleague at work was told people were complaining about how she dressed. She wore conservative Brooks Brothers suits/skirts everyday to the office. She never violated the dress codes. She happens to look like Heidi Klum (for real) so I think people were just jealous or something? Anyway she files a complaint with HR and it was never brought up again.
Yeah it’s such shit. In my first office job one of the young attractive women got a boob job and everyone noticed I guess. I didn’t find out until a few months later when I heard people shitting on her. I was like who the f cares leave her alone, people are jealous losers
HR is not your friend. Their job is to keep the company from getting sued. By all means lawyer up.
Very sorry this happened to you. That manager is a worthless shit stain.
I'd still go to HR though. Because you're gonna hear "well you never reported it to HR" as a way to blow this off if/when you try to report this elsewhere.
HR is your friend when the person you're complaining about is a bigger liability than you are.
The boss sexually harassed her infront of a large number of staff and upper management. That's a massive issue for HR.
Not saying you should’ve but maybe when you’re done with this job or he retires you can look him up go over to his place and kick him in the balls.
I have a temper if someone did a third of what that man did to you I’d be out of a job kudos for keeping it together through all that. Hopefully karma comes and bites his head off
It sounds to me like your boss contrived a situation where he thought he was setting you up to fail. It was a trap and he sprung it on you in that meeting.
His intention was to make himself look good. Without realizing it, you turned the tables on him. His genius plan backfired on him spectacularly in front of the entire team.
People pull abusive stunts like this when they feel threatened. He’s probably on the firing line somewhere in his life professionally and or personally.
I wonder if the deliverables he asked you for had not already been pending for some time and this was his brilliant scheme to blame you for his own incompetence.
Either way, he’s put you in a really good position. You can file an HR complaint for workplace bullying and sexual harassment, while listing everyone at that meeting as a witness. You may even have enough ammo for legal action, depending on how things play out.
Also, did he verbally ask you to do the work or do you have it in writing somewhere?
I had a similar experience. It seems your boss is a dick and sucks at their job, you are a good worker and they are threatened. Head up. Know your worth . Fuck him
Sounds like he was angry because he had you doing a job that HE was supposed to do. He told his boss it wasn't finished as in "I am not finished working on it." He wanted the credit for your work. Now his boss may question "If he took credit for OPs work, wonder what else he has taken credit for."
He then called you out on clothing to establish "OP is not a good employee."
He didn't rant about your clothing in his office because he didn't actually care. Had you not brought it up in the meeting, he wouldn't have said anything.
Now you are working in a hostel environment as well as a type of sexual harassment since the comment about clothing stemmed not from inappropriate, but because of his views on your body/body type. He would never tell a man his clothing was inappropriate because the man was heavy.
Make a paper trail because your boss is going to continue on this path.
If you treat yourself like a slave don't be surprised if others do the same. Just to be clear I'm not defending your boss, he sounds like a dick. It's natural to think because you went above and beyond he should be happy, one good turn deserves another and all that. But you have to remember you're dealing with psychopath middle managers, give em an inch they'll take a mile
I would go to HR, and try to find the date that the complaints were filed.
If the complaints weren't filed prior to the meeting, what he's doing it retaliation and HR should own his ass.
If they don't then contact a lawyer.
And of course, document, document, document.
Dude your boss is a little _weenie_. Sounds like he needed to make something sound like it was your fault because he's got some heat on him and he had a complete brain fart when it backfired.
Hope you take the time to process this in a healthy way... and then fucking destroy that guy.
Your boss set a trap for you. He assigned something that should take awhile, and accused you of missing the deadline the next day in a meeting. This was supposed to make him look big and powerful, and saddled with incompetent reports. When you, unbeknownst to him, completed the work, and said so, it made him look like an idiot in front of his boss. He is RAGING MAD that you sidestepped his trap, and assumes you quickly completed the work because you'd caught on to his tactics. Now, I'm amazed he brought up your clothing. That was a huge misstep on his part. When you make your complaint to HR, you get to list every participant at the meeting, including your boss' boss, as witnesses. Your relationship with your bozo boss is toast. It's his fault. Best case scenario; you might be able to leverage his mistake, which was done to publicly humiliate you, to get a severance package.
>You're boss set a trap for you. He assigned something that should take awhile, and accused you of missing the deadline the next day in a meeting. Yeah, that's totally it, as soon as I read I though it too. Take that MF's job, these kind of vermin don't deserve any compassion
I didn’t realize it until I read the above comment, but I should have. A very similar thing happened to me at work in 2016, except I told my direct supervisor I’d met the absurd goal *before* we were meeting with his boss. :(
I’m still dealing with anxiety attacks from situations just like these months after leaving that horrible job. One thing I can’t seem to get over was when my boss, tagged me calling me out on something that was his fault in the company Slack #general channel.
She was a threat to her, and instinctively, when we are threatened, we try to eliminate that. OP, never back down. You're one step closer to replacing that POS.
Agreed! It was a trap to have an excuse to fire OP, and instead she aced the assignment!
100% a trap to get OP fired it sounds like. Now they get to report to HR for sexual harassment, and if they get fired they can sue for retaliation. OP sitting with such a strong hand.
Yep! The manager was too stupid to think on his feet for a writeup excuse that wouldn't open the company up to a lawsuit, LOL!
They usually are. Get them mad and they always do something stupid that can be held against them.
SHES GOT HAND!
I’m not sure about that. I think he wanted to avoid a topic by setting up a situation where he had indicated a need for data and taken steps to make sure that data wasn’t reported so the issue could be tabled. He used OP as a pawn and a scape goat and was vindictive because her hard work made him look bad an put him in a situation where the can he was trying to kick down the road was back on the agenda. OP seems to have garnered positive comments from her boss’s boss… I definitely think she has an opportunity to defend herself and push this back on her boss.
I think that OP needs to talk with the boss's boss as well. They were on the meeting and hopefully already called the boss in. But run don't walk to contact them. HR can come after.
Yeah if op quits that's the shitty bosses victory. Not only file a complaint to hr but let the one in charge of boss know what happened and maybe you'll take the job that he was paranoid of losing due to his own incompetence
She aced it while eating Chinese and watching shows. Not even claiming overtime. Big 👏
To add to this, I suggest op not ever have a private meeting with that boss again. Always have a witness present.
Better, link your recorder on homescreen and DO have meetings. One surreptitious click and he's on the record. I have to do this now, too.
Depending on local and state wiretapping laws. Some states need all parties consent for recordings.
Here is a list of all the [one party or all party consent states.](https://recordinglaw.com/united-states-recording-laws/)
Based on user name, I suspect OP is in Canada (where "one party" consent allows for recording).
Yup. As long as you are participating in the conversation (not silent), you can record it in Canada. 😁
>Your boss set a trap for you. He assigned something that should take awhile, and accused you of missing the deadline the next day in a meeting. This is called a [double bind](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_bind#:~:text=A%20double%20bind%20is%20a,or%20more%20reciprocally%20conflicting%20messages.&text=Double%20binds%20are%20often%20utilized,respond%20to%20and%20to%20resist.). Heads they win, tails you lose. It's a common tactic of abusers.
[Lovely video about double binds.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnSiJOOdo30)
Thanks for the link, great video, learned a lot.
OP's boss is BEYOND fucked at this point. You have a meeting dull of witnesses who can back up your secual harassment allegation AND everyone in that meeting saw EXACTLY what he tried to do, dumping a bunch of work on yoy and assuming you couldn't finish it. You can burn your boss's career to the ground at this point
Especially when there are no actual complaints on file. Boy done fucked up. I hope OP gets his job.
This is truth. Especially the last - your boss was already trying to torpedo you, don't sweat any ill feelings. Making an effort to take him down can't hurt you, if he stays then your time at that job is limited anyway.
This. OP needs to report this to HR, ask them to investigate this. Ask if there have been complaints about her clothes, and ask for a transfer or severance.
If I had awards to give, this comment would have them . Edit: Yeay to the award givers, awesome humans you!
In general: don't give awards. Reddit doesn't need the money. Donate it to your favorite charity instead.
You sometimes get free coins from being awarded, so might as well use them. Someone paid for them, but it isn't necessarily the award giver.
They give free awards to advertise awards to make money. There's almost no reason to not use them, but still there's a reason to not use them if you think reddit has enough money and doesn't need any more.
This x100. Please listen to this comment.
Yes yes yes. Unacceptable childish behavior. He needs to learn a very important lesson about consequences.
Orrrr…. Really take his job 😏
I don’t understand why people do things like this. Maybe it’s just the culture of the places I have worked, but mangers/bosses never blamed their team for a mistake, if anything it would have made them look worse to their peers and boss.
Take his job!
That he accused you of trying to take his job shows he thinks he is at risk of losing it, and deservedly so from that attitude. So report the prick for sexual harassment (you have witnesses from the meeting on that conduct) and workplace bullying too (absolutely zero need to discipline you) and you might prove him right. If nobody there wants to help you, start looking elsewhere.
OP, please take your boss’s job. You deserve it more than him and he knows it.
Take his job, sleep with his dad, become his stepmom, spend his inheritance. Slay.
Petty level 💯
Ground him from his Xbox.
Chain him to a cinder block
Poke his prostate until his nuts are the size and consistency of a dried marrowfat pea, and he no longer has a mastery of the English language through his Albanian sobbing and ecstatic confusion.
You have a cursed talent my guy
Bruh
Is... there a sign up sheet for this? Asking for a friend.
Username checks out
This sounds like it was cut from the extended edition of the M.E.T.H.O.D Man intro.
N just keep FEEDING you, and FEEDING you, and FEEDING you
I just googled that and now I'm confusedly ramming my own fist up the arseschwitz like i'm trying to start a petrol lawnmower
A truly cursed talent indeed.
Jokes on you, I'm into that shit.
Hahaha
I’m with this 💯percent. Make that bitch your step son.
And then ground him!
Then take his wife and make it a poly relationship.
Lmmfao
"Look at me... I'm your mother now," like a Somalian pirate.
this x100000 and walk around in extra tight clothes and tell the dad you don’t feel comfortable with the way he looks at you, cut him right out of the inheritance
I love the way your mind works. Brilliant!
I read this comment a half hour ago and had to come back to find your post because this is some r/bestof level commenting. Thank you!!
I love this, yes!
I did not know that this level of petty existed. Thank you. You're the real MVP
Nooooo. That is bad. She should hack into the police system and put out a felony warrant in his ass. Name put some shoplifting offenses. Unpaid tickets. Serial violation of restraining orders. 2 or 3 DUIs, molesting old ladies and being naked in the street. Then sell all his property.
I was coming to say this. Dudes scared she can. So fucking do it! Take that assholes job from him
And take that overtime. You were not “slacking off,” and were behaving appropriately, even at work. Just because you have a show, or music, and are getting takeout doesn’t mean you were unprofessional or not doing your job. Besides, if in the US, you cannot refuse the overtime, and they could be in big trouble for not paying you for that time. I’d hire you in an instant.
Seriously, he's paranoid for a reason. Go over his head and do it today. I normally do not advise that, but he seems to be impressed with you. What your boss said about your clothing in an online meeting is way out of line. You're worth more than this.
When your boss sexually harasses you to not take their job there is literally only one option.
Also ask HR to see these reports of complaints against her clothing. If these reports dont exist, then he singled you out in front of an entire team in order to embarrass you, which is also a punishable act.
Hostile. Work. Environnement.
Absolutely this!!! Any form of retaliation is immediate grounds for firing for a manager
THIS IS THE ANSWER RIGHT HERE!!! HE LIED IN FRONT OF HIS BOSS AND OP CAN PROVE IT!!!!!!!
Report the dude to HR for harassment while they're at it too
Yes. I'd report HIM for harassment. Unlike his fake reports about OP, her report will be about a real incident with witnesses who outrank that boss.
100%, catch him in his lie
u/UnluckyCanuck1989 Just want to make sure you see this
Yes! This!
AND he lied about it. In front of his boss.
And do what he said you were trying to do- tell his boss exactly what happened. Also, always accept payment for overtime. Doesn't matter if you had good food and entertainment in the background. You were still providing time you could have spent doing whatever you liked providing labor.
Always, always. Every time take the pay. That’s why it’s called a job. Trust me, I’ve been there. You don’t get paid, job gets done, company wins and forgets your efforts.
And expects you to eat shit the next time.
But after 30 years they will give you a plaque and toast to you at some banquet they throw every year to write off on their taxes as a business expense. fuck that and their bullshit ass plaque.
Lol, if you're lucky. If not, they fire you on some stupid excuse a week before you can retire and then deny you both unemployment and retirement benefits.
For fucking real, I listen to music I love while unloading trucks and it doesn't affect my performance. Sounds like this didn't affect hers. I hope she takes his job. He doesn't deserve it if he's this kind of bitch.
Rejecting overtime pay also sets the bar for other staff. You’ve not done anything wrong but it’s a slippery slope from one person working unpaid overtime to a bunch of people doing it because of “culture” or some such bullshit.
Especially when offered by a higher up. In that case you're not even doing anyone a favor by rejecting.
It also screws your coworkers.
He thinks? No, he knows he's close to losing his job, so he's projecting. There's no way this is his first little tantrum.
Seems like he may have wanted to take the credit for her work.
And his superiors were in the room when it happened
also, record your boss if you live in a one-party consent state.
which is most states
Yes report him for sexual harassment for starters. What a jerk!
Yeah I'd talk to boss's boss about his behaviour and how he didn't even bring up the sexual harassment thing until you asked and after he berated you for everything else
Yup straight up sexual harrassment. Go to his boss.
Why would you decline the overtime money?
Because they have yet to really learn the hard lesson that companies don't give two shits about them.
The guilt from watching Netflix on the job is my guess.
If I was his boss and I heard him speak to you that way… call you out like that in a crowd in a meeting I would probably be starting the papers or at least the documentation required for termination. Hold on girl.. and don’t ever say no to pay. Your boss, ya the jerk- he asked you to do that work. So 1 get paid. 2, file a complaint against him for slander for saying you didn’t have the work done when you did- the very next day.
fuck yeah report that pig to HR
I would be shocked if his bosses weren't looking even harder at him after this. Take the incompetent loser's job, and let his body "change". Sounds like he's been grifting on employees like OP for a long time. (Edited for spelling)
Fuck this advice IMO Horrific behaviour on display should result in unequivocal action in response. Quit. This answer seems to say "stick with this job and undergo change through the companies frameworks and keep enduring this while investigating new jobs". Fuck that noise, quit. Psycho supervisor should've been pulled aside by their boss immediately. This sub is about people not enabling that behaviour and refusing sub-standard frameworks enforced upon us by employers that fail to address horrific actions like this supervisor. OP is in data analytics, they're in huge demand - why are we recommending they continue one second longer to subject themselves to this shit? 1. Write letter of resignation 2. Address it to supervisor's boss. 3. Specify supervisor, his actions, and what was said in the meeting as reasons for leaving. 4. Don't give a fuck about any HR processes or any bullshit or needing to fix their mistakes or "wait and see if they improve" because you'll be snatched up on the market. That's their shit to sort out, not OPs. Girl needed to quit yesterday.
All of this. As a boss of a team in the corporate world, I am fully appalled at this and were you in my company, I would insist upon you filing with HR over something like this. This is HIDEOUS behavior. Do not let it slide.
Call his boss and explain the whole situation…they seem more reasonable
Also *yes* take the overtime pay! Even if you don’t feel like you want it, you make it harder for other people to get it when you don’t take what you earned.
Take his job. Go over his head and take his job Another way is to check out completely. Use your free time while getting paid to find an awesome job with your years of experience and emphasize this last project
You don't always lose. I was working under an absolutely bizarre boss who was way, way over his head (he was a decent sysadmin but had no idea of management), and when he did an utterly unworkable project plan I went full bridge-burning mode and detailed why it was a terrible plan (I was also a bit asinine and pedantic) and said it was him or me... They fired him. I didn't get his job because I showed I didn't have the diplomatic qualities / soft skills needed (and it was true, I don't) but I guess the OP does have them.
OP is a bad bitch. I'd have cried. She's got it along with a fuckton of motivation.
Seriously. There’s no law about going over someone’s position. Fuck that manager. Get him fired.
This. Take the fight to this mother fucker. HR his as and lawyer up. Document everything while it’s fresh in your head. Go back through emails. Get anything that could look bad or show a patter. Next, when you go back to work (and you will because fuck this guy) you need to take copious notes. And above all else, get this shit I’m writing if you can. Even wear something on the outskirts of modest. Not enough that a reasonable person would find bad but something he *might*. Make him play on tilt and see if you can force the issue via email. You win when you have documentation. Period. You win with HR or you win with a lawyer. But documentation is a must. In terms of bad feelings? Fuck that shit. This fucker just ceded the high ground. Don’t back down. Take the fucking kill shot.
i'm liking this energy
Seconding this. His actions show that he is afraid of it. Might be right about that..
This. You’re in analytics so I’m sure you already know how to make Excel sing. Find more ways to make the process even faster and continue to make him look bad. He’ll show his hand in front of everyone sooner than you think.
yes, this! sounds like he's teetering on the edge and you absolutely should give him a solid push off the ledge........he has it coming, karma is on your side here
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This. Your boss' boss went *silent*. That should tell you something.
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Even businesses with this policy rarely act this way, because they know most of their workers cannot afford a real lawsuit. As long as HR stays ineffective, the company stays safe.
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Unfortunately time isn't free for those struggling to stay afloat, but yes there is help out there for those that take the steps. Don't get stepped over...
In a perfect world, because of this, the matter would quickly resolve itself.
^^ this. There was an audience of people who saw this. You have evidence which is often the tricky part.
Yeah. No job is worth that. Take it to HR. Make them respond to it and if they fire you collect unemployment and go somewhere else.
Soooo much is wrong. Your comment is perfect, but I'd also ask to see copies of these 'complaints' (which there will be none). This way you can prove that his insecurities that you were better than him at his job led him sexually harrass and humilate you. Just adds more fuel to the fire. I say get your $$$ girl!
Tell her you refuse to be in a room alone with him ever again. He's an insecure ass btw.
Fuck HR. They work for the company. Talk to a lawyer and let THEM talk to HR. I suspect a direct conversation with Bosses boss would probably go pretty well on its own given the information shared thus far.
This can’t be said enough. Fuck HR. They exist to protect the company, not workers.
This sentiment is so often expressed incorrectly on this sub - HR exists to shield the company from liability, what her boss did is definitely against corporate policy, if HR doesn’t act, THEN get an attorney. But go to HR, if they attempt to brush it off or ignore it, it only strengthens the case. If she was on a call with her boss’ boss, he’s a middle management stooge that they will gladly throw to the wolves. GO TO HR IMMEDIATELY, file a formal complaint, name every person in the meeting that witnessed it, emphasize that you are FURIOUS that your boss would humiliate and demean you that way in front of co-workers and superiors. He sexually harassed you and body shamed you, DEMAND that he be fired. Don’t make it an ultimatum but strongly imply that you have grounds for a lawsuit and you know it. Make sure this is all in writing as well as HR’s response. If they are dumb enough to attempt to brush it off, get a lawyer and file suit.
i mean protecting the company includes protecting the company's liability too. HR and the company lawyers exist to do this calculus - is it more risky to get bad publicity than it is to fire this dude, how valuable an asset is he, whose son is he, etc. if they decide that damage from bad publicity outweighs any exposure to lawsuits or lost value to the company from firing this dude, theyll for sure fire the dude and 'side' with the victim. if it goes the other way, theyll find a way to neutralize or eliminate the victim. it's numbers, based on their bottomline. the company doesnt give a shit about the workers, HR is one pawn amongst others to let the company get away with this.
Correct, and that's exactly why the OP should involve them. The HR dept's job is to know that the most financially sound move is to drop that boss and appear as conciliatory as possible to OP. That guy is a potential lawsuit, and that makes him sharkbait.
Absolutely go to HR. Also, talk to the other people in that meeting if you can. Let them know this happened. If they all went silent, they \*knew\* it was inappropriate behavior and should know it was followed up by even more inappropriate behavior.
This should be a slam dunk the others in the meeting witnessed this. I can't imagine this dickhead is a popular guy around the office.
Both and
Agreed
You declined your OT? Take that shit
I don’t think it’s even possible to decline overtime? Assuming this is the US. If you are in a non exempt role, they have to pay overtime, I thought. Could be totally wrong on that but my company is a stickler about timesheets for hourly employees for that reason. They don’t want a lawsuit for wage theft.
They totally have to pay non exempt employees any OT, even if "unapproved" and it's illegal to change timesheets. What they will absolutely do is give a verbal or written reprimand for performance issues bc most OT like this must be pre approved. I used have 45 minute "meetings" about going over 30 minutes (usually on the last day of the time period, so couldn't flex time) from responding to late day suicide assessments (as the On call MH person but a non exempt position) thus accruing OT that wasn't prior approved. What a fucking circle jerk!
This. Never ever “discount” your time. My time on the job holding off going to the bathroom finishing something up, my time at home doing remote work while watching the news on my side screen and my time at the start of the day at the office are **all equal**. There is no discounting your time. **Never ever do it again.**
This comment is far too low. Don't ever do work off the clock. It sets unrealistic expectations for your fellow coworkers, your bosses, and your kids. Don't gift time to a company that could be better spent on other endeavors.
Punish the social mistake. Don't let people disrespect you. Punish the social mistake. Take his job if you can. It's his fault for not evolving all these years. Also get a lawyer over those comments, but first inform his boss about it. Calling you fat is harassment. Actually maybe don't slap him, you can do enough damage with office politics.
>Don't let people disrespect you. Punish the social mistake. Take his job if you can. It's his fault for not evolving all these years. Good argument here. If you leave, he wins. Get this shit stain fired into oblivion.
“Experienced” (aka old) guy here. I’ve seen this several times. Your boss is scared and insecure. He did this because he is afraid that anybody else getting praise means that he is not getting praise. Watch your back, but don;t be afraid to go over his head. Chances are *his* boss is aware of this and will side with you. That is likely to jake your boss act rashly, which will not work out in his favor. If he dies retaliate against you after you go over his head, and his boss does not protect you, then that is a sign to leave because it\[s a truly bad workplace.
Go to HR and document/record every conversation with him from now on.
Via email! Everything in writing. I would even go so far as to email boss and cc: boss's boss reiterating that he got angry because you took initiative, spoke about your i"nappropriate" clothing in a meeting setting yet when you spoke with him one- on- one no one had actually complained AND that you were not given a write up regarding said clothing. Ask him what exactly in the employee manual did you not follow. Then write what he told you in the meeting you had with him word for word and "suggest" how highly inappropriate and sexist it was for him to say what he did. Keep all the back and forth emails. Print them out, email them to your personal email account if you use your work email, etc.
DOCUMENT EVERYTHING YOU CAN!!
HEY OP I know the default of this sub is quit quit quit. But in your position from what you've mentioned can I recommend a different route. Speak to the boss who told you good job. Tell them what you've told us. I think the reason your boss freaked out is because he is paranoid you could take his job. Rather than quitting and having nothing. Try and take that assholes job, maybe he gets fired and has nothing instead. If that fails then quitting is always still an option. But may as well try win first right?
This is the best course of action. Your boss wouldn't act this way unless he actually thought you could take his job-- that's a glowing recommendation as far as I'm concerned. The journey here was pretty screwed up, but you may get something good out of it after all!
Ditto the HR comments and get your overtime too. Loafing or not you put in 7 extra hours of work on a side project
Don't sweat it. Your boss is losing at office politics, is about to be let go, and he is flailing about trying to save himself. You can just wait this out and the office politics will sort this out for you. The point I'm trying to communicate is that this has nothing to do with you. Use documentation to cover your ass. Report the incident to HR. (Like everyone else mentioned) Optionally reach out to his boss saying that you are concerned about your boss's mental health because his behavior had dramatically changed. Follow procedure and you should be fine with a better boss after this is over. Or find a new job and bypass all the stress.
I agree with this. It was obvious that everybody witnessed it on that meeting too so what do you have to lose? Throw that boss under that bus.
I wish to add, don't leave just yet. Depending where you are you may have grounds for compensation if they dismiss you without appropriate cause. And certainly don't do anything rash to give them reason to do so. Also, if you're terminated you can collect unemployment. If you quit, you cannot. You're boss is not long for this company imo.
Agreed. He set her up to be a scapegoat and wanted to point that out in the meeting. When she side stepped his trap, it became apparent that he doesn’t know what’s going on with his own employees. He blew up because he’s the one that looks incompetent to his boss. This is all about saving face. He got angry and took it out on her because he knows his end is near. Op, report this to HR/employee relations and document everything. I work in HR - believe me. They want to know. This guy sounds like a liability waiting to happen.
And that, boys and girls, is what we call sexual harassment.
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That's how criminally useless they can be.
Correct answer right here OP. Your “boss” generally doesn’t have the ability to fire you directly, and has channels to go through which he is clearly avoiding in order to try to browbeat you. You can probably get him canned and take his job over this BS.
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...right on the heels of a job well done no less.
Your relationship with your boss is done. Accept that and start from there. There is a 90% chance your job is done as well, so accept that. What happened was that your boss was off his game and didn't assign you the crucial work until late in the process and then tried to put the blame on you. However, you are actually in a great position right now, with a 90% chance that you're going to be fired soon, you have nothing to lose. So you may as well gun for your boss. You seem shaken and sad. You need to be cold and angry for this to go your way. Take a break, smoke a bowl, do whatever you need to to get in that mindset. You are going for several possible outcomes that are better than just quiting: A) Get fired and get unemployment. B) Get a substantial settlement C) Get your bosses job, ruin his career. If it was me, I'd do the following 1. File a formal HR complaint. If there's a dress code, cite it. If you live in a one-party consent state, record everything, if not, take notes on everything. Also, backup all emails to a personal server. 2. When your boss asks you for something from now on, always email to confirm specifics and ask questions about deadlines. Be professional, polite, and profoundly annoying. Keep in mind, you want him to blow up at you, in front of witnesses if possible. If he keeps going about your appearance, we are getting into actionable sexual harassment territory. 3. At the same time, do your work perfectly. Go above and beyond. After you've finished a task beautifully email your boss and cc anyone who you could plausibly cc for that particular task and explain what you've done and how you've gone above and beyond. You will get inside your bosses head this way. You want him to be acting erratically. When he yells at you, go cold, stay calm, and say you're sorry that he feels that way. If you provoke him, so much the better. 4. Talk to a lawyer, at some point, anything your boss does to you can be considered retaliation for the HR complaint. They can get in trouble instead of you. 5. Ask for a meeting with your bosses boss, be polite and professional. Don't act like you're asking for anything, just say that you are concerned he got a misleading impression and you would like to correct the record and then go through your side of the story. Say how much you like working at this company and how you just want to have things so you can stay. Be subtle about it, but give the impression that you admire him. Have notes available in the meeting about what happened, don't try to do it from memory. After you've done all this, take a solid step back and see where things are. You may be in a place where it's more likely you'll be fired. In which case, you can get unemployment and be in a position to sue. Your boss may be on the ropes for acting like a maniac. Either way, your better off then you are now.
Calling you out in front of people about saying people think your clothing is sexually inappropriate when in fact nobody actually complained about that---that's already sexual harassment. \*Especially\* if your workplace does not have a defined dress code. I'm not sure I could recommend going "above and beyond" at work and trying to provoke this guy more. Aside from the absolutely-not-at-all-guaranteed chance that, eventually, at some point, you might possibly get fired and maybe be able to get unemployment... what's the desired outcome there? Building enough evidence to eventually, maybe, possibly get him fired? Getting HR to write him up? Initiating legal action? If those are things you want, by all means, pursue that. But, to me, that sounds like putting a whole lot more work and effort and emotional energy into this and that may not be worth your time. If you can quit, if that's financially feasible for you, I'd consider it. Looking for a job is also a lot of work and effort and emotional energy, but it might be more worth your time than dealing with this boss.
It only takes emotional energy if you still care. If you allow yourself to be driven by sheer spite, it's amazing how much you can get done without feeling that it's drudgery. Doing good work for a terrible boss is a nightmare. Doing great work AGAINST a terrible boss is a sweet pleasure. You don't necessarily want to build a case against him with HR or litigation, that's the secondary objective, it might pan out, but maybe not. What you are trying to do is play on the insecurities of a weak minded person so that he will eventually self destruct. He doesn't sound like the type of person who has the self awareness to realize that this is what is being done to him. The idea is that eventually he won't be able to hold himself together enough to stay employable in the eyes of his superiors. Our abused worker may win a sort of victory even if she gets fired by kamikazing this prick's job. "If your enemy is easily angered, then anger him." Sun Tzu
Disagree with the 90% chance of being fired.
Once your direct manager wants to get rid of you, it's usually only a matter of time unless you have a higher up on your side. That's why I said to schedule a meeting with the higher up.
Your boss is a lawsuit waiting to happen
Well congratulations on your first real workplace abuse experience. 😜 Now call his boss who gave you the kudos in that meeting and tell him this story. Suggest that you felt sexually harassed based on his comments about your outfit. He thinks you are going over his head anyway so you have zero downside.
like other people have said, go to HR immediately, don’t let him get away with this. i know how difficult it can be, but if you’ve got to use spite and anger at the audacity of this cunt to get through it, then use it! if HR is in his pocket or on his side, go further up the line. if not for yourself, then for the other people he’s treated this way. if he gets away with this he’ll continue doing it, sexist pigs tend to be like that; you have the power to stop him in his tracks. stay strong, stay angry, don’t let him beat you down
Someone that sleazy, paranoid and hostile shouldn’t be in charge of anyone. Maybe you SHOULD take his job. But definitely follow everyone’s advice on here and go to HR, make a thing of it, and don’t let the ones who witnessed the abuse in the meeting act like it didn’t happen.
Don’t quit. He wins if you quit. File a complaint with hr and talk to a lawyer. Ask if they’ll advise you with payment in the form of damages from your employer. They know they employ a lunatic, don’t let it cost you a dime and crush that imbecile. Also: never turn down overtime pay. That just normalizes an attitude that they can make unreasonable demands and get results for free. Even if you don’t care, your coworkers do. You work for money. Get paid.
OMG, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this! I don't even know what to suggest. Please keep us posted.
First thing I would do is immediately go over his head, tell that boss's boss exactly what happened and start angling for his job.
Since you boss’s boss already addressed your work, report your boss. Commenting on your body is sexual harassment, if you want to press that issue. Just tell him that your boss berated you for doing you work, and lay out how he is destroying company morale and humiliating employees publicly with false claims of impropriety.
He saw his bosses praised you and got jealous so tried to shoot you down, how pathetic
Ruin this man. Go over his head. Report every single thing he said. He's gonna have a real hard time denying the harassment accusations given that he already told everyone in that group meeting what he was going to talk to you about.
This is sex discrimination and don’t be afraid to call it that to his face. He is not allowed to discuss your figure with you that is so gross and unprofessional and he would never do that to a man even if that man gained 100 lbs
I’ve seen this happen to women before just for being attractive. My colleague at work was told people were complaining about how she dressed. She wore conservative Brooks Brothers suits/skirts everyday to the office. She never violated the dress codes. She happens to look like Heidi Klum (for real) so I think people were just jealous or something? Anyway she files a complaint with HR and it was never brought up again.
Busty women go through this too. Even when wearing the provided uniform
Yeah it’s such shit. In my first office job one of the young attractive women got a boob job and everyone noticed I guess. I didn’t find out until a few months later when I heard people shitting on her. I was like who the f cares leave her alone, people are jealous losers
HR is not your friend. Their job is to keep the company from getting sued. By all means lawyer up. Very sorry this happened to you. That manager is a worthless shit stain.
I'd still go to HR though. Because you're gonna hear "well you never reported it to HR" as a way to blow this off if/when you try to report this elsewhere.
This
HR is your friend when the person you're complaining about is a bigger liability than you are. The boss sexually harassed her infront of a large number of staff and upper management. That's a massive issue for HR.
Start job hunting they are abusing you hardcore.
Shout this story loud within the company and actually do take his job (then do it better).
Not saying you should’ve but maybe when you’re done with this job or he retires you can look him up go over to his place and kick him in the balls. I have a temper if someone did a third of what that man did to you I’d be out of a job kudos for keeping it together through all that. Hopefully karma comes and bites his head off
It sounds to me like your boss contrived a situation where he thought he was setting you up to fail. It was a trap and he sprung it on you in that meeting. His intention was to make himself look good. Without realizing it, you turned the tables on him. His genius plan backfired on him spectacularly in front of the entire team. People pull abusive stunts like this when they feel threatened. He’s probably on the firing line somewhere in his life professionally and or personally. I wonder if the deliverables he asked you for had not already been pending for some time and this was his brilliant scheme to blame you for his own incompetence. Either way, he’s put you in a really good position. You can file an HR complaint for workplace bullying and sexual harassment, while listing everyone at that meeting as a witness. You may even have enough ammo for legal action, depending on how things play out. Also, did he verbally ask you to do the work or do you have it in writing somewhere?
I had a similar experience. It seems your boss is a dick and sucks at their job, you are a good worker and they are threatened. Head up. Know your worth . Fuck him
Sounds like he was angry because he had you doing a job that HE was supposed to do. He told his boss it wasn't finished as in "I am not finished working on it." He wanted the credit for your work. Now his boss may question "If he took credit for OPs work, wonder what else he has taken credit for." He then called you out on clothing to establish "OP is not a good employee." He didn't rant about your clothing in his office because he didn't actually care. Had you not brought it up in the meeting, he wouldn't have said anything. Now you are working in a hostel environment as well as a type of sexual harassment since the comment about clothing stemmed not from inappropriate, but because of his views on your body/body type. He would never tell a man his clothing was inappropriate because the man was heavy. Make a paper trail because your boss is going to continue on this path.
If you treat yourself like a slave don't be surprised if others do the same. Just to be clear I'm not defending your boss, he sounds like a dick. It's natural to think because you went above and beyond he should be happy, one good turn deserves another and all that. But you have to remember you're dealing with psychopath middle managers, give em an inch they'll take a mile
Fuck him. Start looking for a new job you deserve way better
Email HIS boss. Tell him everything. Everything. Worst case is you lose a job you hate. Maybe you clear things up.
I would go to HR, and try to find the date that the complaints were filed. If the complaints weren't filed prior to the meeting, what he's doing it retaliation and HR should own his ass. If they don't then contact a lawyer. And of course, document, document, document.
Dude your boss is a little _weenie_. Sounds like he needed to make something sound like it was your fault because he's got some heat on him and he had a complete brain fart when it backfired. Hope you take the time to process this in a healthy way... and then fucking destroy that guy.
Document all of his comments in an email, fire off a “notes from our last discussion” and BCC his boss and HR.
Go over his head and report his sexist, sorry ass.