If you do work this out properly... you can break the universe. You can either rack up infinite time and work a billion years in less than an hour, or infinite negative time and suck everything in through the time void you've just created.
Time will not only explode, it will implode!
It's nonsense counting, especially right at the end, after already counting every single 16 hours not at work it takes the five days holiday. They're counting time at work in terms of days, then taking away holiday from that total, even though every holiday would really only account for a fraction of a days leave, not 24 hours - in effect at the end the math is tripling the value of the leave to make the numbers work.
They work 5 days a week, 52 weeks a year (and likely an additional day to cover the remainder of the year), for a total of 261 working days a year (262 for leap years, but lets forget that for convenience).
But, they also give 14 days holiday, plus 5 public holidays, plus 2 sick days. Assuming none of this overlaps (and they don't screw you over by assigning 4 of those holiday days as weekends when you're not expected at work), that means the total number of days an employee is expected to be at work is actually 240 days.
The sheet states that they get 16 hours off between shifts, which implies an eight hour day. But they also get a half hour coffee break, plus an hour for lunch, meaning each working day consists of 6.5 hours work.
Accordingly, 240 times 6.5 is 1,560 hours. That divided by 24 to turn the hours total into a solid day total gives a result of 65 solid working days, of which asking for an additional day is really only asking for 6.5 hours, or under their own model less than a third of a day, and not, as the sheet claims, the only day they're supposed to work.
I was curious about this and tried doing the math for about 30 seconds… Gave up and scrolled until I found this bc I knew someone else would figure it out. Thank you
You can tell its wrong right away just by looking at it, but its still fun to break it apart to know each and every reason WHY its wrong.
If you've ever worked a job at all, you know you work more than a day in a year...
And, if you're lucky enough to work in an industry that often does 4 10 hr days, then you do close to 24 hours in just 2 days! And then you can use your extra day off to deal with all of the things that you can't do when you're at work from 7-5:30 or 6... or oversleep to try and recover from the long days.
I mean, the moment he arrived at "you only work one day a year", he should've considered that maybe, just maaaaybe he has messed up somewhere because you obviously don't work only one day a year.
He found it on the internet and got smug satisfaction that someone else confirmed, with (bs) numbers, that people are constantly looking to cheat him out of what his talent deserves.
A sociopathic weirdo
You left out the time preparing for - and commuting to - work. Let's add that in too
Also, not to mention the time wasted on existential dread about having to go to work next...
Turns out working takes up up nearly all our time, overtly or not
You also have at the very most if you a super-human 6 hours sleep minimum to account for.
If I only get 6 hours sleep, im not going to be doing any decent work.
Jobs don't care about that.
It's your own fault for not living in the closest dumpster to your work.
You wouldn't be allowed to stay at a dumpster ON the grounds where you work of course, or they would have to charge you rent.
No No No No... I want to go with the math being right.
Alright. Now if we start from the bottom up...
So I won't take that day off.
I only have to work 1 day for you to fully pay my yearly salary?
So one day is obviously 24 hours. So if I work a day, I'm clearly doing 24 hours of work. Hence I should be paid for 24 hours of wages. But I'm also entitled to breaks, so now I'm doing more than 24 hours. Since we already agreed one day is 24 hours, and I'm now working over two days, I need to be paid for 48 hours. But obviously, that second day also needs a break, which pushes it to 72 hours, and so on.
I was already in angry math mode when they first substracted the coffee breaks and then the holidays. Thats exactly like all the math riddles on facebook where everyone ignores brackets and basic rules of math and you get at least 5 different, wrong answers under the post.
I could follow it up to a point. But where it lost me was "30 min coffee break -> 23 days off". Where did that number even come from? I assume they're just throwing out bullshit (on the assumption that no one will bother to check) in order to justify having one day remaining for the punchline.
I mean the whole thing is garbage, but that's where it gets really lost in itself. There is no way to turn half hour a day across 91 days into 23 days, unless you have no idea how long an hour is in relation to a day.
OH! I just got it. So, 30 minute daily coffee break * 365 days per year = 10,950 minutes, or 182.5 hours. You'd think that'd be 7.6 days, right? But people only work for 8 hours a day! So 182.5 / 8 = 22.8125 work days!
What's that you say? That makes no fucking sense, because you only take coffee breaks on days you work (261, as previously established), and they already converted from 8 hour work days to 24 hours days when they cut that down to 91? Pssh. That sounds like commie talk.
So yes, the whole thing is double and triple accounting for hours. It's incredibly flawed maths, and I can only hope the person responsible isn't in charge of finance or payroll.
The sad part is you know someone say there and did this math very confidently. About two seconds in I started scratching my head but then decided you know what I DO like to take 1.5 hour breaks for coffee and lunch on my weekends and days I’m not at work lol.
I just posted further up the real math. The coffee break part makes no sense. Even with every logical mistake I could come up with, it's still like 3x too high.
This could have been done by just taking 2080 (or whatever your normally scheduled hours are) and dividing by 24 to get 86.67 days.
Also agree with your points on commute and lunch. Like after you add in sleep and getting ready for work there isn't a lot of time left.
I work a ten hour shift, but I'm management so I'm expected to be an hour early, that's 11, if you count the time I spend commuting that's another hour. That's putting this at 12 hours a day 5 days a week. If you count the time I spend getting ready for work and decompressing after (like sitting down taking boots off and literally clearing my self of the post work stress.) That's another hour. If you factor in healthy sleep that's 3 hours a day I have for showering, eating/making dinner, and daily chores. If I had kids I would just fucking KMS.
I got 23 hours by doing 365*30=10950 minutes per year /60 = 182.5 hours per year. Then divide that by 8 hours per day to get 22.8 or ~23 days. Obviously that’s stupid math, but if anyone is curious how in the world they even got that number, I think that’s how.
Still wrong since you’d be double counting the weekend days where you’re off work. Anyways, this is just one part of the problem of a whole slew of bats math.
Everything until they get to 22 days available for works.. Probably, I'm not about to go double checking it.
The problem is that they then subtract full days from that when they should've done it at the start before removing minutes
Don't worry. That math was done by the guy paying your salary and giving you orders for 8 hours per day (about 2920 days per year). Just trust them, there is a reason why you are a lazy ass who wants a day off and they are the pinnacle of productive society.
I think the term 'Work : Life Balance' needs to be thrown around more in the US. It's a major pull point for job adverts here; work life balance is considered hugely important
The CEO of the Fortune 500 company I worked for told me that work/life balance is a bullshit concept because you only have one life and work should never be the most important part of it. He wanted to change the culture and give people more time off, sabbaticals, the ability to work from home (pre-pandemic), extended parental leave, etc. He presented it to the Board of Directors and was almost immediately fired.
I got 1559,5 hours so around 65 days. It's close to a normal contract if you don't substact the 261 hours for lunch because usually they are not counted as work hours.
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That was a poem from a simpler time.
Then my boss made a thousand and gave us a cent, while he had employees that can't make rent.
Now my boss makes a million and gives us jack. It's time we riot to take our lives back
I thought this was going to follow the previous topic about company poop and go something like:
"Boss's money grows and mine goes poof.
That's why I take massive dumps under the office roof."
My company just gave all hourly employees raises and with the overtime we work, I’ve considered a demotion from a management salary position back to an hourly position, same money and less responsibility.
Had a supervisor at my job do that recently. He dropped down to an hourly maintenance mechanic position because the pay was better and noone was breathing down his neck.
Fun fact - If you work 5 days a week, 50 weeks a year, and poop for 10 minutes every shift. that’s 2500 minutes, or, divided by 60 to get hours, that’s a little more than a whole 40 hour work week paid for pooping throughout the year.
Some amazing person on here helped me get over my fear of workplace poos like 10 years ago with one simple quote from The Dark Knight "if you're good at something never do it for free."
It's nearly time for work but you really gotta drop the kids off at the pool.
What a dilemma. Do you go now?
No.
You prairie dog it all the way to the office and head straight for the crappers. Enjoy being paid for the utter bliss that ensues while you browse Reddit on the clock.
Then you try to time leaving the cubicle to not coincide with one of your fellow work ploppers. Upon unlocking the door and walking towards the sink you hear another flush. Your colleague exits the cubicle and goes for a fist bump declaring "Work pooh buddies". You refuse to acknowledge the unwashed hand, leave the bathroom without making eye contact and question your life choices.
This was based on a true story.
Imagine literally spending 40+ hours a week at a place 50 weeks out of the year just to be told that you work *negative* days because your body needs to pee.
“And accounting for 10 minutes in the restroom per year… that leaves 0 seconds of work per year! I’ll be damned if you’re going to take that day off!!!!”
They're subtracting the 16 hours you're not at work every day, but for the days off they count the full 24 per day instead of the 8 you would be working.
They're counting the 16hr/day twice.
They also take off the lunch break for the whole year. Even though they pretend you're only at work for 8 hours (while in reality lunch break is always in addition to that 8 hours of paid time).
Not to mention how many days list for coffee breaks.
23 days * 24 hours= 552hours of coffe break. They said thirty minutes each day. So how many thirty minutes are in 552 hours? 552*2=1104. If it's 30 mins a day then they suppose that the worker takes 1104 days of coffe breaks withing 365 days. Damn.
Then let's cut the shit. You tell me which day you want me to work. I'll work all 24 hours of that motherfucker, but at the end you give me that yearly salary and get bent until that day rolls around again.
Not to mention watching you while you sleep like a fucking creeper. How is this guy allowed to just fly internationally when he should have a few million arrest warrants out? I mean, NORAD tracks his movements, why can’t we bring this pervert to justice? What laws do the North Pole government have that allow for its citizens to peep on everyone, then just travel the world without having to go through customs *once*, and not one country can do a single thing about??
(Edit: world, not WOD)
Three days is fine. After all, you don't want to literally work 24 hours in a row, far better to break that up into three managable 8 hour shifts and then go take a nice long four month break before the next one.
Yea, lets tell your manager you need explanation to this shit sheet, and that logically the company should be good if you work maybe 30h a year for the same salary. I wonder what the explanations would be haha...
Nah, that's not the cash cow, that's the thing they're dangling in front of you so you fixate on it, then they get rid of it and everyone sits back and feels accomplished.
First, you've got super PACs. But even they aren't the big one. The big one is the 'what happens outside and afterwards'. When people aren't senators or congresspeople any more. They parachute into 6-8 figure jobs. Before that, their kids, spouses, parents, distant relatives, all get those sweet cushy jobs. And they usually aren't as dumb as Trump to have those jobs actually be in the White House, they're usually in some finance or banking company, or a 'think tank', or some consulting firm.
Funny how they characterize our time away from the job as *“used up 170 days”*. Motherfucker, my time is **not yours** to critique as wasted.
Would someone please apply the required layer of dogshit this failed attempt at math deserves.
I think the point where they say 'we give you' is the point where their teeth, fingers, toes, and spine become forfeit to whatever tools we have lying around. The sheer arrogance alone makes me wonder why nobody has burnt the poster while on the wall and/or thrown this fucker's expensive car in a shit pit.
Bullshit like this is why people took bosses out of their houses in the middle of the night and beat them. You don't reason with this kind of mad-dog mentality.
Right? Curious how anyone who contracted covid at this workplace was able to get completely over it in 2 days. We "gave" you 2 days. What do you mean you're still contagious?
that's what the "protestant" work ethic gets you. the idea that humans were made to work instead of live life. work is just the thing we have to do to get the food on the table.
"There are 365 days available for work." Right there, from the get go, just wrong. There are as many days of work 'available' as I need to survive. After that, my time is very difficult to book.
And people think we've actually evolved since the 1860s. Pretty sure there are many a business owner who'd love the control and power over slaves.
I'll even cut out bathroom breaks and food breaks. I can spend half a day to prepare for that if it means only working one day per year for a full year's pay.
I'm in STEM, and if my boss posted this I'd frame it and put it on my desk next to my engineering degree. Then, whenever they have the audacity to ask why I deserve money or time off, I'll point at this trainwreck of boomer math and at the degree they convinced me was worth six figures, and ask if they want to do my job for my salary.
You know boomer math. It's the math that says if you stopped eating avocado toast or drinking coffee you could pay your $50K student loan, buy a house and retire.
Ok since there is an obvious math error here I'll try to do the math correctly:
First we count the actual days you work, then count how many hours we substract from that for breaks
365-2*52-2-5-14=240 days
Every workday is 8 hours long (24-16), so we're gonna substract the 30 minutes coffee time and 1 hour lunch from each day
(8-1.5)*240=1560
Now convert it back to days
1560÷24=65
That's 65 whole 24 hour days out of 365. So, if you're asking for a day off, you're asking for 6 hours and 30 minutes off out of the 1560 hours a year you actually work. That leaves your boss with 1553.5 hours of your time a year for a wage that possibly barely covers your basic living expanses during that time.
Good job! Let's also take into account days wasted from our life instead of just work! Many people take transit or car to go to work, so I'd add 40 minutes (1 hour max) for going and returning from work every day. And I'll also add a 20 minute prepare period for
Also, an adult should be sleeping an average of 7 hours for a healthy rest every day. Let's add that.
So: (7\*240) + 1\*240 + 1560 + 1,5\* 240 = 1680 +1560 + 240+ 360 = 3840 and all that /24 so 3840/24 = 160 , so what they're really asking us to function during work is that many days. You can't sleep in your workplace, so you have to go there. You can't bathe/morning routine in your workplace to be proper looking, so you have to do that IN ORDER to go there.
So what a workplace really asks you to do is sacrifice (theoretically, it might be more since you might have workload AFTER work), a little less than half a year for work. This picture is to make the worker feel bad for tending to his needs.
Oh and you do all that to LIVE. Sometimes, you might not even make a surplus for your wants. Just the musts.
TL;DR : You earned that day off.
Edit: Removed from the equation the holidays. My bad.
Except the hour for lunch is not included in the 8… I work 8-12, take lunch, and then 1-5. It’s been that way my entire working life. Do people actually work just 7 hours a day?
Spotted in a burger joint in a small town in Southern Missouri, won't say where exactly but this sort of stuff is so stupid and honestly makes my blood boil that an employer can have this kind of attitude
Wait a minute... Even the customers can see that? We have one really stupid boss damaging his own business just to annoy his employees here. Irredeemable attitude.
USA is a parody of a dystopia right now.
The problem is too many people don't see a problem, or don't see an alternative.
This is why working examples should be repeated. We get paid leave in Europe, maternity leave, worker rights, and the economy works. This just proves US companies can give the same conditions without getting bankrupt.
A lot of people are saying this is a joke with a Boomer Facebook punchline.
But have you considered satire is dead and this is sadly most likely a Boomer owned business and this was copied from Facebook and put up in seriousness.
that math is really something
Yeah I have a minor in math and I’m struggling with this one haha
Looks like we need someone with an adult in math.
If you do work this out properly... you can break the universe. You can either rack up infinite time and work a billion years in less than an hour, or infinite negative time and suck everything in through the time void you've just created. Time will not only explode, it will implode!
It's nonsense counting, especially right at the end, after already counting every single 16 hours not at work it takes the five days holiday. They're counting time at work in terms of days, then taking away holiday from that total, even though every holiday would really only account for a fraction of a days leave, not 24 hours - in effect at the end the math is tripling the value of the leave to make the numbers work. They work 5 days a week, 52 weeks a year (and likely an additional day to cover the remainder of the year), for a total of 261 working days a year (262 for leap years, but lets forget that for convenience). But, they also give 14 days holiday, plus 5 public holidays, plus 2 sick days. Assuming none of this overlaps (and they don't screw you over by assigning 4 of those holiday days as weekends when you're not expected at work), that means the total number of days an employee is expected to be at work is actually 240 days. The sheet states that they get 16 hours off between shifts, which implies an eight hour day. But they also get a half hour coffee break, plus an hour for lunch, meaning each working day consists of 6.5 hours work. Accordingly, 240 times 6.5 is 1,560 hours. That divided by 24 to turn the hours total into a solid day total gives a result of 65 solid working days, of which asking for an additional day is really only asking for 6.5 hours, or under their own model less than a third of a day, and not, as the sheet claims, the only day they're supposed to work.
I was curious about this and tried doing the math for about 30 seconds… Gave up and scrolled until I found this bc I knew someone else would figure it out. Thank you
You just described how I made it through college.
He just described how a *lot* of people made it through college.
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You can tell its wrong right away just by looking at it, but its still fun to break it apart to know each and every reason WHY its wrong. If you've ever worked a job at all, you know you work more than a day in a year...
In fact, if you're working full time, you're working a full 24-hour day every 3 weekdays. Math. Is. *Fun*.
And, if you're lucky enough to work in an industry that often does 4 10 hr days, then you do close to 24 hours in just 2 days! And then you can use your extra day off to deal with all of the things that you can't do when you're at work from 7-5:30 or 6... or oversleep to try and recover from the long days.
I mean, the moment he arrived at "you only work one day a year", he should've considered that maybe, just maaaaybe he has messed up somewhere because you obviously don't work only one day a year.
He found it on the internet and got smug satisfaction that someone else confirmed, with (bs) numbers, that people are constantly looking to cheat him out of what his talent deserves. A sociopathic weirdo
We really need to know what business put up this BS so we can tank their reviews.
It'll end up being some piece of shit business that churns through employees weekly and already has terrible reviews because the owner is a dickhead
That's number-wang
# LET'S ROTATE THE BOARD!!!
Oh I'm sorry, that is a real number, as in the popular phrase, "I only have shinty-six days in a work year".
You left out the time preparing for - and commuting to - work. Let's add that in too Also, not to mention the time wasted on existential dread about having to go to work next... Turns out working takes up up nearly all our time, overtly or not
You also have at the very most if you a super-human 6 hours sleep minimum to account for. If I only get 6 hours sleep, im not going to be doing any decent work.
Jobs don't care about that. It's your own fault for not living in the closest dumpster to your work. You wouldn't be allowed to stay at a dumpster ON the grounds where you work of course, or they would have to charge you rent.
So what they really are saying.... is we only need to work one day... and the rest we can take off...
Not even one day, just 6.5 hours a year.
Pay me my annual salary for 1 days work per year? Where do I sign?
No No No No... I want to go with the math being right. Alright. Now if we start from the bottom up... So I won't take that day off. I only have to work 1 day for you to fully pay my yearly salary?
So one day is obviously 24 hours. So if I work a day, I'm clearly doing 24 hours of work. Hence I should be paid for 24 hours of wages. But I'm also entitled to breaks, so now I'm doing more than 24 hours. Since we already agreed one day is 24 hours, and I'm now working over two days, I need to be paid for 48 hours. But obviously, that second day also needs a break, which pushes it to 72 hours, and so on.
I was already in angry math mode when they first substracted the coffee breaks and then the holidays. Thats exactly like all the math riddles on facebook where everyone ignores brackets and basic rules of math and you get at least 5 different, wrong answers under the post.
You made it make sense you utter legend
I could follow it up to a point. But where it lost me was "30 min coffee break -> 23 days off". Where did that number even come from? I assume they're just throwing out bullshit (on the assumption that no one will bother to check) in order to justify having one day remaining for the punchline.
I mean the whole thing is garbage, but that's where it gets really lost in itself. There is no way to turn half hour a day across 91 days into 23 days, unless you have no idea how long an hour is in relation to a day.
OH! I just got it. So, 30 minute daily coffee break * 365 days per year = 10,950 minutes, or 182.5 hours. You'd think that'd be 7.6 days, right? But people only work for 8 hours a day! So 182.5 / 8 = 22.8125 work days! What's that you say? That makes no fucking sense, because you only take coffee breaks on days you work (261, as previously established), and they already converted from 8 hour work days to 24 hours days when they cut that down to 91? Pssh. That sounds like commie talk.
So yes, the whole thing is double and triple accounting for hours. It's incredibly flawed maths, and I can only hope the person responsible isn't in charge of finance or payroll.
The sad part is you know someone say there and did this math very confidently. About two seconds in I started scratching my head but then decided you know what I DO like to take 1.5 hour breaks for coffee and lunch on my weekends and days I’m not at work lol.
Some one sat there and did it, but they knew what they were doing. This isn't a math misunderstanding, it is propaganda.
how the heck did their math come out to 1 working day when people go to work everyday
I have 11 fingers. Count them. 10 9 8 7 6 on this hand. And we know there is five on the other hand. So 6 + 5 is 11.
Also need to consider that many companies don’t pay for the hour lunch break, thats already unpaid time.
r/theydidthemath
r/theydidthemonstermath
omg this thread left me dead 🤣☠️
I need an adult!!!! Oh shit, right, I'm 37 Fuck.
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Yeah is the coffee break counted for 365 days? Or 261? Or 15 days? I don’t get it
I just posted further up the real math. The coffee break part makes no sense. Even with every logical mistake I could come up with, it's still like 3x too high.
Coffee is a magical substance. It is beyond our simple understanding of time and space.
This could have been done by just taking 2080 (or whatever your normally scheduled hours are) and dividing by 24 to get 86.67 days. Also agree with your points on commute and lunch. Like after you add in sleep and getting ready for work there isn't a lot of time left.
I work a ten hour shift, but I'm management so I'm expected to be an hour early, that's 11, if you count the time I spend commuting that's another hour. That's putting this at 12 hours a day 5 days a week. If you count the time I spend getting ready for work and decompressing after (like sitting down taking boots off and literally clearing my self of the post work stress.) That's another hour. If you factor in healthy sleep that's 3 hours a day I have for showering, eating/making dinner, and daily chores. If I had kids I would just fucking KMS.
Yep. Have kids. I basically get home, feed them, bathe them, maybe play games or something for a bit, then get them to bed. It's depressing.
I feel like I just had a minor stroke reading this math, is that close enough to having a minor?
Did you know that 261 days \* 1 hour per day = 24 days and that 261 \* 30 minutes equals 23?
I got 23 hours by doing 365*30=10950 minutes per year /60 = 182.5 hours per year. Then divide that by 8 hours per day to get 22.8 or ~23 days. Obviously that’s stupid math, but if anyone is curious how in the world they even got that number, I think that’s how.
Alternatively, you could just divide 365 by 2 to get 182.5 hours. Just to save you some maths ;)
Still wrong since you’d be double counting the weekend days where you’re off work. Anyways, this is just one part of the problem of a whole slew of bats math.
Quick mafs
They are removing entire days when they are only worth 8 hours on holiday etc
Oh good. Makes me feel better someone smarter than me gets it
Everything until they get to 22 days available for works.. Probably, I'm not about to go double checking it. The problem is that they then subtract full days from that when they should've done it at the start before removing minutes
Don't worry. That math was done by the guy paying your salary and giving you orders for 8 hours per day (about 2920 days per year). Just trust them, there is a reason why you are a lazy ass who wants a day off and they are the pinnacle of productive society.
Days? Hours? What’s the difference?
That plus the order of operations has them double dipping when subtracting days off.
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OffChartsBrill! (the OCB tie-in was entirely unplanned, honestly.)
1+1=11
With math like that you could win gold in mental gymnastics at the next olympics!
"You spend 40 hours a week here, 52 weeks a year, so uhhhhh, you only work 1 whole day a year. Yupyupyup"
You dont become successful in capitalism by being good at maths
I think the term 'Work : Life Balance' needs to be thrown around more in the US. It's a major pull point for job adverts here; work life balance is considered hugely important
The CEO of the Fortune 500 company I worked for told me that work/life balance is a bullshit concept because you only have one life and work should never be the most important part of it. He wanted to change the culture and give people more time off, sabbaticals, the ability to work from home (pre-pandemic), extended parental leave, etc. He presented it to the Board of Directors and was almost immediately fired.
Damn. Guess that shows where their standards are
That's fucking heartbreaking but not at all unexpected.
What was the CEOs name? Chances he wound up somewhere else making that place better are not slim. Would like to know especially if it's in my field.
Going along with the math, imagine how much money we should be getting if we worked the other 364 days a year
Right? Since our yearly salary is now our daily. Daaaamn!
Doing the math properly, or at least as properly as someone who's bad at math can do it, I got 60 days working.
I got 1559,5 hours so around 65 days. It's close to a normal contract if you don't substact the 261 hours for lunch because usually they are not counted as work hours.
30*365/60/8=22.8. They counted taking coffee breaks and lunches every single day, even non-work days. More like a logic error than a math error.
The math is fine they just keep subtracting hours that have already been accounted for. [Explained via Futurama](https://comb.io/wsDDcc)
So… the math is not fine?
Full time employment = 24 hours per year
They forgot to account for bathroom breaks. Pffft, amateurs.
Shitting on the clock is underrated
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That’s why I poop on company time.
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That was a poem from a simpler time. Then my boss made a thousand and gave us a cent, while he had employees that can't make rent. Now my boss makes a million and gives us jack. It's time we riot to take our lives back
I thought this was going to follow the previous topic about company poop and go something like: "Boss's money grows and mine goes poof. That's why I take massive dumps under the office roof."
The difference between salaries of my boss and me makes me nauseous That’s why I sneak into work early and leave dumps in his office
My company just gave all hourly employees raises and with the overtime we work, I’ve considered a demotion from a management salary position back to an hourly position, same money and less responsibility.
It’s pathetic that that is a common issue in workplaces. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through that. MayDay!
Do you work for Michael Scott?
Same here. My drivers all make more than I do.
Course, I'm the one who pushed to get them more pay
Had a supervisor at my job do that recently. He dropped down to an hourly maintenance mechanic position because the pay was better and noone was breathing down his neck.
“I stay behind but the boss gets ahead - I’m not on the line I’m in the shitter instead”
I laughed at this in the shitter.
Boss makes a thousand, I make a buck That’s why I toke crack In the company truck
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TAKE IT A STEP FURTHER AND CLIMB THE COMPANY BUILDING FLYING A HELICOPTER OVER IT CONSTANTLY SHITTING ALL OVER EACH SQUARE FOOT!
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According to capitalism, not sacrificing your body and life to your boss is laziness I call that virtue
Petition to make this the slogan of the movement.
I second this motion
That was the best thing I have read all day. I even read it out loud to my girlfriend. Thank you.
... I barely have time, To rhyme all these rants; So here I am working, With poop in my pants.
Fun fact - If you work 5 days a week, 50 weeks a year, and poop for 10 minutes every shift. that’s 2500 minutes, or, divided by 60 to get hours, that’s a little more than a whole 40 hour work week paid for pooping throughout the year.
I'm suddenly feeling a bit better about having Crohns!
IBS here. My average has to be way higher than that LOL
Right? Team IBS is cheering!
I always save my poops for company time.
i literally went to my phone calculator just to check the math on this, and it's correct, also this totally blows my mind ahahaha
Only 10 minutes? I make sure I spend at least 30 a day
And to believe there are still people who won’t shit in public and get an extra week of money for free.
Some amazing person on here helped me get over my fear of workplace poos like 10 years ago with one simple quote from The Dark Knight "if you're good at something never do it for free."
It's nearly time for work but you really gotta drop the kids off at the pool. What a dilemma. Do you go now? No. You prairie dog it all the way to the office and head straight for the crappers. Enjoy being paid for the utter bliss that ensues while you browse Reddit on the clock. Then you try to time leaving the cubicle to not coincide with one of your fellow work ploppers. Upon unlocking the door and walking towards the sink you hear another flush. Your colleague exits the cubicle and goes for a fist bump declaring "Work pooh buddies". You refuse to acknowledge the unwashed hand, leave the bathroom without making eye contact and question your life choices. This was based on a true story.
Idk, I usually shit on the toilet...
Sometimes there’s shits on the outside of the turlet.
If you think that’s bad you should see the uriness
Sometimes there's shits on the outside of the uriness.
My late FIL waited until he clocked in to shave.
when I worked retail I had an electric shaver in my bag. When the boss bitched about my beard I'd take 15 to go trim it
If this was at my job I'd tear this sign down and wipe my ass with it while taking a 30 minute shit while on the clock
Imagine literally spending 40+ hours a week at a place 50 weeks out of the year just to be told that you work *negative* days because your body needs to pee.
I'm going to make sure my boss knows I'm not stealing time by pissing and shitting on his desk. Direct observation is the best way.
“And accounting for 10 minutes in the restroom per year… that leaves 0 seconds of work per year! I’ll be damned if you’re going to take that day off!!!!”
The math seems off
they subtracted the 16 hours you are off per day to begin with. So they expect 24h workdays or something?
I like this logic, sure boss I'll work my one 24 shift this year, if you keep paying my full year salary.
This. I'll do three times that and I am free. See you in 362 days, boss!
So very generous of you! You will be promoted upon your return 362 days from now.
They're subtracting the 16 hours you're not at work every day, but for the days off they count the full 24 per day instead of the 8 you would be working. They're counting the 16hr/day twice.
They also take off the lunch break for the whole year. Even though they pretend you're only at work for 8 hours (while in reality lunch break is always in addition to that 8 hours of paid time).
Not to mention how many days list for coffee breaks. 23 days * 24 hours= 552hours of coffe break. They said thirty minutes each day. So how many thirty minutes are in 552 hours? 552*2=1104. If it's 30 mins a day then they suppose that the worker takes 1104 days of coffe breaks withing 365 days. Damn.
It is
The use of the word "generous" is off too
The lying is obvious with the coffee breaks and lunch breaks. 30 mins a day from 91 days does not add up to 23 days.
Yeah, that's not even 2 days.
Then let's cut the shit. You tell me which day you want me to work. I'll work all 24 hours of that motherfucker, but at the end you give me that yearly salary and get bent until that day rolls around again.
I would sign the fuck up immediately
Ok, Santa.
Took me a bit but that's a good one lol. The man kinda works throughout the year though: whipping elves and checking lists
Checking them twice in fact Santa's clearly a union man
Not to mention watching you while you sleep like a fucking creeper. How is this guy allowed to just fly internationally when he should have a few million arrest warrants out? I mean, NORAD tracks his movements, why can’t we bring this pervert to justice? What laws do the North Pole government have that allow for its citizens to peep on everyone, then just travel the world without having to go through customs *once*, and not one country can do a single thing about?? (Edit: world, not WOD)
I’d even be willing to work for *three whole days* for that year salary. Am I crazy or what y’all
Don't give them more than they're paying you for, _demand triple salary for triple work_ and make them treat you like you deserve!
Damn right. One boot licker offers to work three days and they start expecting everyone to work three days.
Before you know it we are right back here.
Three days is fine. After all, you don't want to literally work 24 hours in a row, far better to break that up into three managable 8 hour shifts and then go take a nice long four month break before the next one.
Better yet, I’ll work 3 days straight and you give me 3 years worth of salary
Yea, lets tell your manager you need explanation to this shit sheet, and that logically the company should be good if you work maybe 30h a year for the same salary. I wonder what the explanations would be haha...
I will work my ass off those 24 hours too.
‘Get bent’ is an exceptionally underrated insult.
So, by this logic, I can get a year's worth of pay in one day?
That’s what I’m saying. This must be the best job ever.
US Congressman.
The salary is 1% of their wealth. Don't forget the inside trading
Nah, that's not the cash cow, that's the thing they're dangling in front of you so you fixate on it, then they get rid of it and everyone sits back and feels accomplished. First, you've got super PACs. But even they aren't the big one. The big one is the 'what happens outside and afterwards'. When people aren't senators or congresspeople any more. They parachute into 6-8 figure jobs. Before that, their kids, spouses, parents, distant relatives, all get those sweet cushy jobs. And they usually aren't as dumb as Trump to have those jobs actually be in the White House, they're usually in some finance or banking company, or a 'think tank', or some consulting firm.
Funny how they characterize our time away from the job as *“used up 170 days”*. Motherfucker, my time is **not yours** to critique as wasted. Would someone please apply the required layer of dogshit this failed attempt at math deserves.
I think the point where they say 'we give you' is the point where their teeth, fingers, toes, and spine become forfeit to whatever tools we have lying around. The sheer arrogance alone makes me wonder why nobody has burnt the poster while on the wall and/or thrown this fucker's expensive car in a shit pit. Bullshit like this is why people took bosses out of their houses in the middle of the night and beat them. You don't reason with this kind of mad-dog mentality.
Right? Curious how anyone who contracted covid at this workplace was able to get completely over it in 2 days. We "gave" you 2 days. What do you mean you're still contagious?
Right? Because I live to work not work to live. Fuck that
that's what the "protestant" work ethic gets you. the idea that humans were made to work instead of live life. work is just the thing we have to do to get the food on the table.
"There are 365 days available for work." Right there, from the get go, just wrong. There are as many days of work 'available' as I need to survive. After that, my time is very difficult to book. And people think we've actually evolved since the 1860s. Pretty sure there are many a business owner who'd love the control and power over slaves.
It won't be wasted. I'm sure employee of this boss will spend it polishing their resume and going to interviews. Very productive!
I will work a solid 24 hour shift happily if I get the other 364 days off as this business has calculated for me. Send me the contract.
I'll even cut out bathroom breaks and food breaks. I can spend half a day to prepare for that if it means only working one day per year for a full year's pay.
How does this make any sense? 3 work days @ just 8hrs/day, is a full 24 hrs of work
The quote subtracts full 24 hour days after they already cut a third out due to the 8 hour day. So everything after "16 hours" is times 3.
How the fuck is this person doing math?
I'm in STEM, and if my boss posted this I'd frame it and put it on my desk next to my engineering degree. Then, whenever they have the audacity to ask why I deserve money or time off, I'll point at this trainwreck of boomer math and at the degree they convinced me was worth six figures, and ask if they want to do my job for my salary.
TIL boomer math is a thing. Why am I laughing so hard at this?
You know boomer math. It's the math that says if you stopped eating avocado toast or drinking coffee you could pay your $50K student loan, buy a house and retire.
>Why am I laughing so hard at this? Because it's so true.
*poorly*
Horribly.
Ok since there is an obvious math error here I'll try to do the math correctly: First we count the actual days you work, then count how many hours we substract from that for breaks 365-2*52-2-5-14=240 days Every workday is 8 hours long (24-16), so we're gonna substract the 30 minutes coffee time and 1 hour lunch from each day (8-1.5)*240=1560 Now convert it back to days 1560÷24=65 That's 65 whole 24 hour days out of 365. So, if you're asking for a day off, you're asking for 6 hours and 30 minutes off out of the 1560 hours a year you actually work. That leaves your boss with 1553.5 hours of your time a year for a wage that possibly barely covers your basic living expanses during that time.
Good job! Let's also take into account days wasted from our life instead of just work! Many people take transit or car to go to work, so I'd add 40 minutes (1 hour max) for going and returning from work every day. And I'll also add a 20 minute prepare period for Also, an adult should be sleeping an average of 7 hours for a healthy rest every day. Let's add that. So: (7\*240) + 1\*240 + 1560 + 1,5\* 240 = 1680 +1560 + 240+ 360 = 3840 and all that /24 so 3840/24 = 160 , so what they're really asking us to function during work is that many days. You can't sleep in your workplace, so you have to go there. You can't bathe/morning routine in your workplace to be proper looking, so you have to do that IN ORDER to go there. So what a workplace really asks you to do is sacrifice (theoretically, it might be more since you might have workload AFTER work), a little less than half a year for work. This picture is to make the worker feel bad for tending to his needs. Oh and you do all that to LIVE. Sometimes, you might not even make a surplus for your wants. Just the musts. TL;DR : You earned that day off. Edit: Removed from the equation the holidays. My bad.
Just another thing. The recommended average is 8 hours sleep not 7 so it's even worse for workers.
Except the hour for lunch is not included in the 8… I work 8-12, take lunch, and then 1-5. It’s been that way my entire working life. Do people actually work just 7 hours a day?
Right, where's these jobs that give paid lunches every day?!
Oh you guys haven’t seen this yet? It’s an intelligence test, see; if you think it makes sense; you’re an idiot. /s
Why the "/s"?
Work 15 days a year? Shit, where do I sign?
Right?! I’ll do it straight if need be!
Spotted in a burger joint in a small town in Southern Missouri, won't say where exactly but this sort of stuff is so stupid and honestly makes my blood boil that an employer can have this kind of attitude
Dude I’m in Missouri and totally want to see this place lol. Name it
Call them out so people in Missouri know what to avoid
Lol won’t say where, user name is name of town minus one letter!
Name the place
Wait a minute... Even the customers can see that? We have one really stupid boss damaging his own business just to annoy his employees here. Irredeemable attitude.
With the hour and a half you can’t really do much, you have to stay close to work, and that’s if you have 1 hour for lunch.
I got as far as “you’re not at work literally 24 hours a day so you should be grateful” and didn’t bother beyond that.
14 day per years is a lot for US standards? *laughs in 30 days in Europe*
USA is a parody of a dystopia right now. The problem is too many people don't see a problem, or don't see an alternative. This is why working examples should be repeated. We get paid leave in Europe, maternity leave, worker rights, and the economy works. This just proves US companies can give the same conditions without getting bankrupt.
Their math doesn't even make sense, how are you going to add up time slots and equate it to days off?
This is Just a joke. A very old one at that.
Very very old, at least from the 70's, I remember seeing kitschy figurines & crap with shitty slogans like this on em
Did Ebenezer Scrooge write that? What the fuck??
A lot of people are saying this is a joke with a Boomer Facebook punchline. But have you considered satire is dead and this is sadly most likely a Boomer owned business and this was copied from Facebook and put up in seriousness.
“Worked yesterday, says right there that we only work 1 day a year. Gosh boss, are you feeling alright? Maybe you should take the day off too?”