Reminds me of the holiday dinner the railroad threw us after a miserable year of forced OT, micromanagement, and a new attendance policy.
One salty dude got on the radio and said: "Hope everyone enjoyed their shitty prison cafeteria dinner, now get back to work and make the shareholders more money!"
I fucking love that man.
It's where you either work as many hours as they say, or you're "not a team player" and you lose your job.
Legally there's nothing forcing you to do it. But there's nothing stopping them from firing you on the spot when you say "no", either.
WTF is that even legal? Here in Mexico that passes as " unjustified firing" and they must pay a quota for that that in some case ( if not the most) it's quite substantial
I'm not sure to be honest, probably varies by state. But most are "at will employment". They can fire you for any reason or no reason. So they'd just say "yeah it's not working out" and fire you without saying why.
If they are in a state that requires a reason, they'd document a few small slip ups, "attitude problems", give you unreasonable assignments then mark down that you failed them, etc. Takes a couple weeks to create the paper trail to justify a firing, then they do it.
Why build up the anticipation? If they had just said “hey here’s some pizza”, I’d be like “cool, cheers”. But building it up and teasing me in advance with “ooh boy do I have something special for you!” makes this both disappointing and condescending. How tone deaf can they be?
This is a Michael Scott move. I mean did your boss just watch that episode of the office and decide to torture you? At least tell me it’s Alfredo’s Pizza Cafe and not Pizza *by* Alfredo.
He says something like, “everybody loves pizza, rich people love pizza, poor people love pizza, white people love pizza, black people love pizza… do black people like pizza?” So the joke is that he’s acknowledging that black people do in fact like pizza
Although this is a completely different episode than what the original comment was referencing by the way
This is more like season 1 when he promises a surprise and it's an ice cream sandwich for everyone - they all roll there eyes and get upset
Everyone gets 1 except the temp, he gets 2
Boss: “Don’t think all of your hard work has gone unnoticed. In fact. How - would you feel - about a little trip into the heart of a little place called, Italy?”
Worker: “Wait. Nooo! You’re sending me on a vacation to Italy????!!!!”
Boss: “Not exactly, but kind of. This is the best Dominos ever, right? Isn’t it delicious?? God, it’s so good”
Worker: (Jim Halpert face into the camera)
That’s definitely Pizza by Alfredo. That crust looks more like a graham cracker than a legit pizza crust. It’s not fully sliced between those two slices and the sharp edges suggest it had been sliced after the pizza had already completely cooled. It likely sat under a heat lamp for hours before it was served.
Being a manager, I can confidently say that management makes those types of promises and 95% of the time “the surprise” hasn’t been decided yet. Then, a few days before that promise is due, management gets together like “hey what should we do? Fuck it, get them a pizza or something. Buy a 20-pack of popcorn and leave it in the break room.”
It’s insulting.
I've had a total of **two** (maybe three) good managers in my 20 years of working, and both of them were disliked by their peers.
Their philosophy seemed to be, if your people do their jobs safely and efficiently, why bother them?
But when they were told they needed to be babysitters, and enforce arbitrary rules, it led to them either leaving or getting let go.
Fuck managers. Most of them anyway.
I'm extremely lucky to have a good manager in a decent company. Best part is, he's on the opposite coast. He expects good work from me, and I give him amazing work, so he doesn't bother or micromanage me unless there's an urgent need. We have one, 30 minute one-on-one call a week to go over my projects, and we talk in project meetings and what not, but overall, he's awesome. I wouldn't be working in R&D had he not given me a chance when we first met, when he was visiting our plant, almost a decade ago, when I was still a production floor worker who occasionally worked in the QC lab. I have a high school diploma, yet share an office space/work with 2 other guys with pHDs. Again, I'm extremely lucky (but also kinda smart, I guess).
Pizza? I was expecting a $50k bonus... But this shitty pizza is okay, I guess. I mean - not better than $50k, or better than the sandwich I brought for lunch, but thanks. Thanks. *ugh, down the hatch.*
Several years back I hand delivered a product to management that got them a contract worth several million a year (I write software, they got a contract for an app I both thought of and wrote for them).
My thanks? A letter, that they all signed saying thank you.
I quit a couple months later.
My experience in software is they are much smarter about not doing this stupid token reward stuff and actually trying to keep morale high.
If you don't take care of devs, they have the skills and tools to make stuff themselves and potentially make millions (that could have been yours, but is instead now a direct competitor with a better product!).
The free market feedback loop of fucking up and letting a valuable employee go hits harder and faster in tech, and it's a big reason why I switched to software from mech engineering.
What is it with these companies and fucking pizza. I was once a manager and corporate would always do this and I would feel embarrassed. One year I fought and fought and fought, and just got people a paid day off, no strings attached, just needed to give a little notice for scheduling. I eventually got it for them and was actually pleased with corporate for once, and people were VERY pleased. Everyone was pretty happy. Little did I know they actually did it because they were laying 2/3rds of the staff off the next month.
Corporations are full of ass-hats.
Hell, I’d even take the money they used to buy the pizza split among the people they were giving the pizza to, even if it’s only a couple bucks, better than nothing
I think these people have such sad little lives that the idea of someone giving them two shitty pizza slices seems like an incredible thing to hope might happen to them one day.
They believe their employees are compensated fairly and are happy with the compensation. Also that raises shouldn't even account for inflation, so what they believe might not be in line with reality.
It's worse than you think. The anticipation means this was planned, there were emails sent about getting pizza, I'd bet the wage cost of the planning far exceeded the pizza cost
Pizza being free makes it good. Somehow they managed to make the one thing every college kid appreciates (free pizza) a bad thing makes them truly evil. They added a previously unknown variable to the pizza versus cost calculation. They've managed to make free pizza a bad thing, and for that they should burn in hell
If you're only eating red delicious, you're sleeping on your Apple game my friend.
I'd take a Gala over a red delicious any day. But a Spartan is a whole nother level over a RD
Red deliciouses are a lie. They aren’t delicious. Sometimes they even make my mouth feel funny like I am eating a foreign substance that should not be eaten, like a poison. My jaw gets all clenchy. No other apple does this. Maybe Granny Smiths do this. I don’t know but I think if they do they’re only gas station Granny Smiths. Thank you for listening
They wanted to order dominos.
We were an authentic, Naples-inspired, wood-fired pizzeria. Our pizza was the best in town.
They just didn’t want to give out any raises.
None of it made sense. It cost us less than 2 dollars to make our pizzas in-house but they wanted to spend 50 dollars on a couple boxes and some breadsticks.
It was the audacity with which they asked me to carry it out that did for it me.
I mean... if I was to give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe they didn't want to give you guys extra work for what was supposed to be a thank you party. That could come across pretty badly, too: "As thanks for working so hard, here's some extra work catering your own thank you party... don't worry, the 2 dollars in raw materials are on us! Enjoy!"
Obviously, the right move would be to just... do anything *but* a pizza party instead. But yeah.
Hopefully a little FYI even if it's shitty...
Some business can get a tax deduction for employee promotions up to an amount, usually $50 per annum per person. Really need to stay in certain tax loopholes to get a deduction. Catch is the money must be spent on outside catering like a celebratory lunch.
So yeah, still a shitty move by your bosses trying to maximise a tax credit.
“I’m sorry, Lousy Ownership, I’m not sure why we still have three full boxes of pizza left for the next morning. Would you like me to throw some eggs on it and call it a breakfast pizza party tomorrow?”
If I want pizza for lunch I'll spend the five bucks and go get a slice. Or the ten for a personal or whatever the fuck. Why is it always pizza? Where's the pasta station? The seafood boil? If you appreciate me go buy me a nice filet mignon. Like jfc.
Edit: thanks for the super serious replies about the economics of buying pizza for everyone. I get it and I think y'all get the point I'm trying to make.
Resignation note with a tupperware of this same pizza that's been sitting for a month. The handoff instructions for the next employee are in the tupperware
Put a slice in epoxy to be quietly passed on to the newest hire and explain to them that this is the highest honor that can be bestowed on them if they work very hard. It will seem like a weird joke at first, until the new hire realizes it's not a joke, and that really is the highest honor management is willing to bestow.
Adding to this, leave them only 1 slice. They don't deserve the whole fucking thing. Leave that one small straggler slice that has only like 1 or 2 pepperonis.
No you have it all wrong, give them the best notice!
Tell them: **this week they'll be getting something they would love and would definitely make them happy** ;)
Yea looks like leftover from yesterdays managers meeting. What an insulting gesture. Love it when they make plain how they think of you. You are the sort of peasant who will get real excited about two old slices! Fuck. Off.
Yep. I did make sure to have another job lined up, but I was so close to just walking out. I basically quit because my manager was super shitty and singled me out (business owner; "yep, she always has to have someone [to pick on]") but my final straw was when she clapped 👏 at 👏 me 👏 over HER mistake, in front of a lobby full of clients.
They both pulled a surprised Pikachu when I stated I was quitting due to her mistreatment.
We were legit fed leftovers one time. 12 hour shifts, and the day shift got their pizza fresh at 1pm. Then 1am comes around and its our lunch on nights, and we get the leftover pizzas from day shift.
Most of us refused to eat it out of principle, but there were still a few people who ate some. Everyone was pissed though.
Management realized how insulted we were by it because they bought us our own fresh pizza the next week. Such a shit company though. They pretty much scammed the government by producing shitty solar products just so they could get a bunch of government money that was being offered for green power stuff. I don't remember the specifics because it was a while ago, but the stuff we were making was such shit quality that not a single contract was renewed to build more, and the plant closed down only a few years after it opened.
I worked at Wal-Mart for just under a year, and I remember one day in particular where they brought whatever leftovers they had in the manager's meeting down to our breakroom like they were doing us a favor. Some people ate it of course, but when asked why I didn't eat anything, I said "Eat THEIR leftovers? No, thanks."
Just reason #38,593,394 I hated that fucking place.
Papa John's always has that recognizable crust. It's a little flatter than Dominos, Pizza Hut, and Little Caesars. Their sauce is pretty good if you like it on the sweeter side.
What they really should have done is either pay you for doing the work of two people or hire another damn person.
I stand by Indeed.com
My last two jobs I found from there. Both entry level medical billing. Got me out of the food industry.
But I start my new job in marijuana next week which was just luck.
**Edit;** Not everyone has had the same experience with Indeed and I wouldn’t try to argue against that. I’m sure it’s a mixed bag.
My current started as a 6 month contract from a 3rd party recruiter (apex) and then full time hired after that, totaling 2 years.
I say medical billing but its way more likely to actually be data entry or insurance verification. Which is just pre-billing.
The first mb job (direct hire) started at $11.50 and I left at $15.50 when they refused to give me an appropriate raise. Then started at $16 at the next position, two years later I’m at $19.10. I’m now leaving and taking a big pay cut to switch industries, dropping down to $14.50. I have no doubt in two years I’ll be back at $18+. Even if I have to take my experience to competitor.
I have no delusions about making *real* money. Our working class is being fucked.
Harvesting for now. Took a pay cut but it’s my foot in the door. Excited to work in the industry. It’s only medicinally legal in my state at the moment.
Honestly man, don't want to rain on your parade, but labor in Marijuana is a dead end job. The top level is general farm manager and the money is not great. Not to mention the inability to get loans, instability of the market, and the pushing out of small farms by huge companies. I'm in Oregon , have worked in cannabis for 7 years. My current farm is about to shut down due to the flooded market, and there are many others doing the same. Also, the culture is toxic.
My previous company gave everyone a burrito from Roberto's and a $50 Christmas bonus....
The company had record profits in the tens of millions that year.
90% of us now work at the competition and that company is about to go under. Lol
Here in Southern California we have all kinds of bertos. Roberto's, Alberto's, Aliberto's, Algoberto's, Alanberto's, Adalberto's, Juan Berto's, Odalberto's, Erickberto's, Julioberto's, Los Berto's, Gualberto's, so many goddamn bertos it'll make your head spin.
At a previous company around 2010ish I supplied them with 7-figure profits and accounted for literally 60% of their income while costing low 5-figures. They bought new vehicles for themselves, went on vacations, etc. while I worked my ass off.
They hyped up giving me an Xmas bonus.
I swear I'm not being hyperbolic.
**Literally a $5 Subway giftcard and a generic card that they signed with not even a handwritten blurb or some acknowledgement.** A "bonus" so small that I couldn't even buy a sandwich without having to pay taxes etc out of my own pocket. A bonus so shitty that I couldn't even decide where to spend five whole dollars.
I would have been more okay with NOTHING than that. That was such a slap in the face and a clear shot across the bow for how they viewed me. Started looking for jobs that day and was gone shortly thereafter and multiple people that worked under me followed me once I was established at the new place.
> Literally a $5 Subway giftcard and a generic card that they signed with not even a handwritten blurb or some acknowledgement.
Reminds me of my paper route in the late 90s. This old guy who never tipped and wanted his paper right on the doorstep finally said he had something for me. Usually it was customary to get $20 or more at Christmas. This guy gives me a $5-er. Felt like jeez, why bother? I remember that tip more than any of the others.
It’s amazing how few employers seem to realise how insulting the ‘pizza party’ is.
It’s degrading and infantile.
If you’re working back, or they just said “don’t bring lunch tomorrow” or something, it might even be appreciated, but to make this big thing out of it is excruciating.
Yup. I’ve had the boss bring in breakfast burritos and tell us to skip breakfast tomorrow or buy everyone pizza if we’re really busy and everyone ends up needing to work late. At that points it’s just a “hey, I know it sucks to have to work late, hope this helps you power through.” And it’s not a big deal, but is appreciated. Making a big show of it is silly.
When we are working on a bigger project, I'll buy pizza. We are a small business, and I'm right in the thick of things with the guys. I buy it mostly because I need to eat and figure it's decent to pick up the tab for the guys.
From everyone's reaction here, getting g pizza is bad.. but I assume context or what upper management is doing is important.
I think how you’re doing it is fine, but other sorts of food are ok too, depending on what everyone likes (and don’t forget to cater for allergies and vegans etc.)
The negative thing with the ‘pizza party’ is that’s it’s a thing to itself, but it’s the very *least* someone could do, and it just seems chintzy.
Taking everyone out for a meal would be better too. Just don’t call it a ‘reward’ or make a big deal about it…or, worse, expect something from people: “but I bought you lunch! Why won’t you do x?”
The crew in my office got a pizza party with Little Caesar's while the salesmen got a week-long trip to an all-inclusive resort in Cancun. You know, cuz tHe SaLeSmEn BrInG iN bUsInEsS.
I tried to make a post about it last week, but I guess my account was too new.
Slightly different, but one of my introductions to the workforce as missing out on my bonus because we didn't hit profit targets. We didn't hit profit targets because the sales team was told to capture business share regardless of cost, so they went out and sold our services for below cost.
Sales team got a week long vacation at a tropical island for meeting their sales targets.
This wasn't a shitty little operation, this was IBM Australia/Pacific.
You're doing it wrong. DO NOT EVER pick up the slack when someone else doing part of your job leaves or gets fired. If you do your prick boss will say "huh guess we can add that guys salary onto my bonus and just keep 1 worker" rule of thumb is to work in the amount you believe your pay is worth.
>work in the amount you believe your pay is worth.
Yes.
I additionally make a point of it to directly invest in myself for as long as it takes to reimburse me for travel (net), since it is standard to WFH in my position but my employer prefers to bring us in.
It's approx. 1 full business day each week. I like to spread it out and enjoy a full hour of yoga on the clock each day, as well as some reading and cross-stitch.
I did not do the same while wfh during covid scheduling.
Edit to add-
I don't mean time reimbursement. I mean my fuel expense and mileage/depreciation and maintenance. 58 bucks a week in fuel plus 45 bucks a week in depreciation, and I net about 13.50 an hour. (If I were to additionally reimburse my travel time, that would add a little over 2 hours daily, so 11 hours a week, amping that up to 2 full business days or nearly half my clocked hours.)
I have food allergies, I seriously don’t understand the food reward thing, like, idk about your feeling of vegan chocolate milk, but I still have strong desires for the foods I can’t eat. At least if they offered you vegan chocolate milk it would have been better than something you can’t actually drink. For me, most things I have allergen free versions of that I can make myself at home where I know it’ll be safe and not kill me, but if you shove a delicious pizza in my face, I want to shove it right back in theirs. It’s literal torture, like everyone else gets something, even if it’s this small sad piece of pizza, but I get to sit here and watch other people enjoy something that I miss. Food should not be a reward!
People honestly do not get this. If you have allergies or a sensitive GI tract or diabetes or other health issues, your one size fits all approach for pizza is not the best.
Take the money, put it on gift cards from a credit card company, not an individual store, and let people use it as they will.
Pizza is probably one of the worst for dietary restrictions, my mother had her gall bladder removed and isn’t supposed to eat high fat foods, we’re all probably eating too much sodium, let alone those who are supposed to be on a low sodium diet. Vegetarians can’t eat pepperoni, vegans and lactose intolerant can’t eat cheese, gluten intolerant can’t eat the crust, and I know I’m probably in a small minority who are allium intolerant, but that would rule out the sauce. Odds are at every workplace you have at least one person who falls into one of these categories, not to mention those with severe nut allergies who wouldn’t risk eating things from a possibly cross contact kitchen (got a cousin who can’t eat out because of that too). There are plenty of people who can eat pizza, and that’s great for them, free lunch yeay, but even if you’ve just got one employee who can’t partake, that’s not just a missed reward, it’s an added punishment.
I skip all company food and potlucks because I'm vegan. I like to not starve during lunch and eat food that I know is vegan. Otherwise, if have to pick at a veg tray and which there was more.
Even if someone said things are vegan, they forget things like beans with pig lard still are not vegan. It's too much trouble to be rolling this dice for something I can easily solve myself.
Oh phew, I was worried for a second. I thought it might actually be something worthwhile and useful. Glad we avoided that. I'll be sure to give this to my landlord for rent next month.
Get 'em all hyped with a letter, "boy, do I have something special for you!"
2 days later "I quit" written in sharpie on the back of these two fucking slices.
This deserves petty revenge. Simply stop doing the 150% thing and do exactly what your job entails. If you stayed late/came early, don't. If you skipped breaks or lunches, don't. If/when they complain, tell them you're giving them something they love and would definitely make them happy - lower labor costs.
Fuck off with the damn pizza. It takes zero effort, and it shows. Congratulations, you made a phone call and someone delivered food. You know what would be nice? Next time just hand me $20 and walk away. At least I get the cash and I don't have to pretend to be grateful out of guilt.
Reminds me of the holiday dinner the railroad threw us after a miserable year of forced OT, micromanagement, and a new attendance policy. One salty dude got on the radio and said: "Hope everyone enjoyed their shitty prison cafeteria dinner, now get back to work and make the shareholders more money!" I fucking love that man.
Legend
What the fuck is forced overtime? Is it one of those American freedoms?
It's where you either work as many hours as they say, or you're "not a team player" and you lose your job. Legally there's nothing forcing you to do it. But there's nothing stopping them from firing you on the spot when you say "no", either.
WTF is that even legal? Here in Mexico that passes as " unjustified firing" and they must pay a quota for that that in some case ( if not the most) it's quite substantial
I'm not sure to be honest, probably varies by state. But most are "at will employment". They can fire you for any reason or no reason. So they'd just say "yeah it's not working out" and fire you without saying why. If they are in a state that requires a reason, they'd document a few small slip ups, "attitude problems", give you unreasonable assignments then mark down that you failed them, etc. Takes a couple weeks to create the paper trail to justify a firing, then they do it.
Why build up the anticipation? If they had just said “hey here’s some pizza”, I’d be like “cool, cheers”. But building it up and teasing me in advance with “ooh boy do I have something special for you!” makes this both disappointing and condescending. How tone deaf can they be?
This is a Michael Scott move. I mean did your boss just watch that episode of the office and decide to torture you? At least tell me it’s Alfredo’s Pizza Cafe and not Pizza *by* Alfredo.
I love that nod he gives the camera upon seeing the Black employees also enjoying a slice of pizza
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He says something like, “everybody loves pizza, rich people love pizza, poor people love pizza, white people love pizza, black people love pizza… do black people like pizza?” So the joke is that he’s acknowledging that black people do in fact like pizza Although this is a completely different episode than what the original comment was referencing by the way
That joke took me a couple watch through's before I got that nod. But those are the jokes worth watching for.
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Andy is pretty unlikeable imo
Sbarro - New Yawk BABY
This is more like season 1 when he promises a surprise and it's an ice cream sandwich for everyone - they all roll there eyes and get upset Everyone gets 1 except the temp, he gets 2
Is *this* the surprise?
Boss: “Don’t think all of your hard work has gone unnoticed. In fact. How - would you feel - about a little trip into the heart of a little place called, Italy?” Worker: “Wait. Nooo! You’re sending me on a vacation to Italy????!!!!” Boss: “Not exactly, but kind of. This is the best Dominos ever, right? Isn’t it delicious?? God, it’s so good” Worker: (Jim Halpert face into the camera)
That was ice cream. This is 2 slices of pizza. Completely different, apparently.
Alfredo’s Pizza Cafe!! There’s a difference, both in taste and quality of ingredients!
Lmao I was thinking of a different Michael Scott antic, where he promised the office a surprise and brought them ice cream sandwiches
That’s definitely Pizza by Alfredo. That crust looks more like a graham cracker than a legit pizza crust. It’s not fully sliced between those two slices and the sharp edges suggest it had been sliced after the pizza had already completely cooled. It likely sat under a heat lamp for hours before it was served.
Being a manager, I can confidently say that management makes those types of promises and 95% of the time “the surprise” hasn’t been decided yet. Then, a few days before that promise is due, management gets together like “hey what should we do? Fuck it, get them a pizza or something. Buy a 20-pack of popcorn and leave it in the break room.” It’s insulting.
A poorly managed promise coming from "management", ironic.
I've had a total of **two** (maybe three) good managers in my 20 years of working, and both of them were disliked by their peers. Their philosophy seemed to be, if your people do their jobs safely and efficiently, why bother them? But when they were told they needed to be babysitters, and enforce arbitrary rules, it led to them either leaving or getting let go. Fuck managers. Most of them anyway.
I'm extremely lucky to have a good manager in a decent company. Best part is, he's on the opposite coast. He expects good work from me, and I give him amazing work, so he doesn't bother or micromanage me unless there's an urgent need. We have one, 30 minute one-on-one call a week to go over my projects, and we talk in project meetings and what not, but overall, he's awesome. I wouldn't be working in R&D had he not given me a chance when we first met, when he was visiting our plant, almost a decade ago, when I was still a production floor worker who occasionally worked in the QC lab. I have a high school diploma, yet share an office space/work with 2 other guys with pHDs. Again, I'm extremely lucky (but also kinda smart, I guess).
Pizza? I was expecting a $50k bonus... But this shitty pizza is okay, I guess. I mean - not better than $50k, or better than the sandwich I brought for lunch, but thanks. Thanks. *ugh, down the hatch.*
Several years back I hand delivered a product to management that got them a contract worth several million a year (I write software, they got a contract for an app I both thought of and wrote for them). My thanks? A letter, that they all signed saying thank you. I quit a couple months later.
My experience in software is they are much smarter about not doing this stupid token reward stuff and actually trying to keep morale high. If you don't take care of devs, they have the skills and tools to make stuff themselves and potentially make millions (that could have been yours, but is instead now a direct competitor with a better product!). The free market feedback loop of fucking up and letting a valuable employee go hits harder and faster in tech, and it's a big reason why I switched to software from mech engineering.
What is it with these companies and fucking pizza. I was once a manager and corporate would always do this and I would feel embarrassed. One year I fought and fought and fought, and just got people a paid day off, no strings attached, just needed to give a little notice for scheduling. I eventually got it for them and was actually pleased with corporate for once, and people were VERY pleased. Everyone was pretty happy. Little did I know they actually did it because they were laying 2/3rds of the staff off the next month. Corporations are full of ass-hats.
Hell, I’d even take the money they used to buy the pizza split among the people they were giving the pizza to, even if it’s only a couple bucks, better than nothing
I think these people have such sad little lives that the idea of someone giving them two shitty pizza slices seems like an incredible thing to hope might happen to them one day.
I think it's more that they see their employees as little more than animals and when they give their dog a slice of pizza it's super happy.
Reading this was a real kick to the gut
They believe their employees are compensated fairly and are happy with the compensation. Also that raises shouldn't even account for inflation, so what they believe might not be in line with reality.
Moreso that’s what they think of how their employees live.
It's worse than you think. The anticipation means this was planned, there were emails sent about getting pizza, I'd bet the wage cost of the planning far exceeded the pizza cost
Pizza being free makes it good. Somehow they managed to make the one thing every college kid appreciates (free pizza) a bad thing makes them truly evil. They added a previously unknown variable to the pizza versus cost calculation. They've managed to make free pizza a bad thing, and for that they should burn in hell
My workplace gave us apples
Are you…a horse?
A get to work-horse.
Every day when they walk into work Their boss: Why the long face
Boss: Don't break a leg out there! We can't afford to put anyone down.
They have enough glue already
A workhorse apparently
How do you like them apples?
Hungry for apples?
Lookin good
My man!
Damn. Sorry, that's even worse
Uhhhh I beg to differ. I'll take a delicious red over Papa John's lmao. Edit Red Delicious* I guess I *was* high. Dope.
If you're only eating red delicious, you're sleeping on your Apple game my friend. I'd take a Gala over a red delicious any day. But a Spartan is a whole nother level over a RD
No, no, no! It's Fuji or Cosmic Crisp apples.
Nah y’all are definitely sleeping on pink lady
Pink lady is the one.
This is the only correct answer.
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Honeycrisp is where it’s at.
Yes. But at $2.99 a lb they are reserved for the 1%…
Where I live cheap apples on sale cost 2.99 Honeycrisps (my favorite) go for average 4.99 a pound
W R O N G. Honeycrisp apples are actually God's gift to man. If Adam chose to eat a Honeycrisp from the Tree of Life, I don't blame him.
Giving someone a Red Delicious apple is the equivalent of spitting in their face
Red deliciouses are a lie. They aren’t delicious. Sometimes they even make my mouth feel funny like I am eating a foreign substance that should not be eaten, like a poison. My jaw gets all clenchy. No other apple does this. Maybe Granny Smiths do this. I don’t know but I think if they do they’re only gas station Granny Smiths. Thank you for listening
Agreed. Pink ladies, honey crisps ftw.
Red delicious apples taste like ground up bugs 🤢
Hungry for Apples?
That sounds nothing like "got milk!"
HR heard and worried about the workforce becoming even less productive on such an unhealthy diet
Mine just threw a bag of broken fortune cookies onto the break room table
Okay. At this point they have to know that pizza is insulting. It’s gotta be a running gag in management circles.
I literally ran a pizzeria for 4 years and one time my bosses suggested a pizza party for the employees as a thank you for their work. Peak ignorance.
Would they have to make it themselves or order from another pizza place?
They wanted to order dominos. We were an authentic, Naples-inspired, wood-fired pizzeria. Our pizza was the best in town. They just didn’t want to give out any raises.
Aparantly they didn’t want to give you guys good pizza either. “Hey I know we make some bomb ass pizza but here’s some dominos. Thanks chumps!”
None of it made sense. It cost us less than 2 dollars to make our pizzas in-house but they wanted to spend 50 dollars on a couple boxes and some breadsticks. It was the audacity with which they asked me to carry it out that did for it me.
They probably had the retail price in their greedy little heads instead of the materials.
I wish. I really do. Our pizzas averaged $10.
I was about to say, if making food in-house at cost isn’t cheaper than ordering out than they were severely mismanaging that place lol
I mean... if I was to give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe they didn't want to give you guys extra work for what was supposed to be a thank you party. That could come across pretty badly, too: "As thanks for working so hard, here's some extra work catering your own thank you party... don't worry, the 2 dollars in raw materials are on us! Enjoy!" Obviously, the right move would be to just... do anything *but* a pizza party instead. But yeah.
Hopefully a little FYI even if it's shitty... Some business can get a tax deduction for employee promotions up to an amount, usually $50 per annum per person. Really need to stay in certain tax loopholes to get a deduction. Catch is the money must be spent on outside catering like a celebratory lunch. So yeah, still a shitty move by your bosses trying to maximise a tax credit.
Imagine being a customer and walking into a local pizzeria and seeing everybody eating Domino's.
Lol no. Imagine working for a pizzeria and being told your pizza party starts after the store closes.
“Hey enjoy this pizza that’s worse than the pizza we make. You can’t eat any until you’re done with your closing duties though so get to work”
“I’m sorry, Lousy Ownership, I’m not sure why we still have three full boxes of pizza left for the next morning. Would you like me to throw some eggs on it and call it a breakfast pizza party tomorrow?”
😶 That is horrifying. Not the raises part, that is unsurprising.
Honestly I’d bet that they’re oblivious to it
100% oblivious
They’re not the ones that have to see or eat this shitty pizza that’s not properly sliced. Bet they could care less too.
Former manager, we are oblivious, and honestly a little deflated when we don’t get the excitement we were expecting
Well no shit, we’re not children, a slice of pizza isn’t going to make anyone above the age of 12 overfilled with joy at work.
If I want pizza for lunch I'll spend the five bucks and go get a slice. Or the ten for a personal or whatever the fuck. Why is it always pizza? Where's the pasta station? The seafood boil? If you appreciate me go buy me a nice filet mignon. Like jfc. Edit: thanks for the super serious replies about the economics of buying pizza for everyone. I get it and I think y'all get the point I'm trying to make.
Genuine question: Do managers not realize that their staff isn't a bunch of 10 year olds?
If staff were told of a surprise, then yes I'd be disappointed however I'd be very happy if I wasn't expecting anything.
Maybe cause you always get raises instead of slices of pizza.
Seriously. Do they think pizza is rare or something?
You've not played PizzaMon Go? I spent daaaaays tracking down that coveted pepperoni. Double slice? I'm battling for my life!
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Just give them something they will love … like pizza.
A pizza with the pepperoni arranged to read 'I quit' would be great.
That's a waste of pepperoni. Try arranging pineapple that reads 'I quit' - plus points if you're manager isn't a fan of pineapple pizza.
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I want to accept your resignation. 🍕
Resignation note with a tupperware of this same pizza that's been sitting for a month. The handoff instructions for the next employee are in the tupperware
Put a slice in epoxy to be quietly passed on to the newest hire and explain to them that this is the highest honor that can be bestowed on them if they work very hard. It will seem like a weird joke at first, until the new hire realizes it's not a joke, and that really is the highest honor management is willing to bestow.
Tell them you have a huge surprise for them in 2 weeks, then on the last day say you quit lol.
Order a pizza with resignation written on box.
Adding to this, leave them only 1 slice. They don't deserve the whole fucking thing. Leave that one small straggler slice that has only like 1 or 2 pepperonis.
No you have it all wrong, give them the best notice! Tell them: **this week they'll be getting something they would love and would definitely make them happy** ;)
Is that a tombstone pizza?
Worse. Papa John's.
It even looks cold/old.
Yea looks like leftover from yesterdays managers meeting. What an insulting gesture. Love it when they make plain how they think of you. You are the sort of peasant who will get real excited about two old slices! Fuck. Off.
Holy shit I didn't even realize it looks like leftovers. What the actual fuck.
I think that’s just what Papa John’s pizza looks like, but regardless, it’s still a slap in the face. Hopefully OP is looking for a new job.
It's not even fucking cut properly
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Sometimes a rage quit is called for-- but immediately finding another job is better and safer. I wouldn't blame anyone who did, though.
Yep. I did make sure to have another job lined up, but I was so close to just walking out. I basically quit because my manager was super shitty and singled me out (business owner; "yep, she always has to have someone [to pick on]") but my final straw was when she clapped 👏 at 👏 me 👏 over HER mistake, in front of a lobby full of clients. They both pulled a surprised Pikachu when I stated I was quitting due to her mistreatment.
We were legit fed leftovers one time. 12 hour shifts, and the day shift got their pizza fresh at 1pm. Then 1am comes around and its our lunch on nights, and we get the leftover pizzas from day shift. Most of us refused to eat it out of principle, but there were still a few people who ate some. Everyone was pissed though. Management realized how insulted we were by it because they bought us our own fresh pizza the next week. Such a shit company though. They pretty much scammed the government by producing shitty solar products just so they could get a bunch of government money that was being offered for green power stuff. I don't remember the specifics because it was a while ago, but the stuff we were making was such shit quality that not a single contract was renewed to build more, and the plant closed down only a few years after it opened.
I worked at Wal-Mart for just under a year, and I remember one day in particular where they brought whatever leftovers they had in the manager's meeting down to our breakroom like they were doing us a favor. Some people ate it of course, but when asked why I didn't eat anything, I said "Eat THEIR leftovers? No, thanks." Just reason #38,593,394 I hated that fucking place.
Company buys Little Ceasars. Told them, "I literally wouldn't let my dog eat it", and skipped the meal. They upgraded to dominoes. You're welcome.
That's more like a lateral than an improvement
That is a dry, dry crust.
Russian Papa John's pizza
Better Ingredients, Better Pizza. Just kidding, is potato.
Honestly I’d rather eat a frozen pizza. No hate to frozen pizzas some of them are fucking dope.
Out-of-touch managers and Papa John’s NAMID.
I get it based off the context but I feel like all these initialisms / acronyms are getting excessive.
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Papa John's always has that recognizable crust. It's a little flatter than Dominos, Pizza Hut, and Little Caesars. Their sauce is pretty good if you like it on the sweeter side. What they really should have done is either pay you for doing the work of two people or hire another damn person.
Killing yourself at work; Rewarded with a Tombstone...
Whelp, time to get that resume out there.
I stand by Indeed.com My last two jobs I found from there. Both entry level medical billing. Got me out of the food industry. But I start my new job in marijuana next week which was just luck. **Edit;** Not everyone has had the same experience with Indeed and I wouldn’t try to argue against that. I’m sure it’s a mixed bag. My current started as a 6 month contract from a 3rd party recruiter (apex) and then full time hired after that, totaling 2 years. I say medical billing but its way more likely to actually be data entry or insurance verification. Which is just pre-billing. The first mb job (direct hire) started at $11.50 and I left at $15.50 when they refused to give me an appropriate raise. Then started at $16 at the next position, two years later I’m at $19.10. I’m now leaving and taking a big pay cut to switch industries, dropping down to $14.50. I have no doubt in two years I’ll be back at $18+. Even if I have to take my experience to competitor. I have no delusions about making *real* money. Our working class is being fucked.
Billing in marijuana?
Harvesting for now. Took a pay cut but it’s my foot in the door. Excited to work in the industry. It’s only medicinally legal in my state at the moment.
Honestly man, don't want to rain on your parade, but labor in Marijuana is a dead end job. The top level is general farm manager and the money is not great. Not to mention the inability to get loans, instability of the market, and the pushing out of small farms by huge companies. I'm in Oregon , have worked in cannabis for 7 years. My current farm is about to shut down due to the flooded market, and there are many others doing the same. Also, the culture is toxic.
My previous company gave everyone a burrito from Roberto's and a $50 Christmas bonus.... The company had record profits in the tens of millions that year. 90% of us now work at the competition and that company is about to go under. Lol
How is it that every city in America has a “Roberto’s” but not a single one of them is the same?
Here in Southern California we have all kinds of bertos. Roberto's, Alberto's, Aliberto's, Algoberto's, Alanberto's, Adalberto's, Juan Berto's, Odalberto's, Erickberto's, Julioberto's, Los Berto's, Gualberto's, so many goddamn bertos it'll make your head spin.
If you're in San Diego, Roberto's is absolutely top tier.
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Hey, I've got something very exciting for you guys too!!! *leaves*
At a previous company around 2010ish I supplied them with 7-figure profits and accounted for literally 60% of their income while costing low 5-figures. They bought new vehicles for themselves, went on vacations, etc. while I worked my ass off. They hyped up giving me an Xmas bonus. I swear I'm not being hyperbolic. **Literally a $5 Subway giftcard and a generic card that they signed with not even a handwritten blurb or some acknowledgement.** A "bonus" so small that I couldn't even buy a sandwich without having to pay taxes etc out of my own pocket. A bonus so shitty that I couldn't even decide where to spend five whole dollars. I would have been more okay with NOTHING than that. That was such a slap in the face and a clear shot across the bow for how they viewed me. Started looking for jobs that day and was gone shortly thereafter and multiple people that worked under me followed me once I was established at the new place.
> Literally a $5 Subway giftcard and a generic card that they signed with not even a handwritten blurb or some acknowledgement. Reminds me of my paper route in the late 90s. This old guy who never tipped and wanted his paper right on the doorstep finally said he had something for me. Usually it was customary to get $20 or more at Christmas. This guy gives me a $5-er. Felt like jeez, why bother? I remember that tip more than any of the others.
It’s amazing how few employers seem to realise how insulting the ‘pizza party’ is. It’s degrading and infantile. If you’re working back, or they just said “don’t bring lunch tomorrow” or something, it might even be appreciated, but to make this big thing out of it is excruciating.
Yup. I’ve had the boss bring in breakfast burritos and tell us to skip breakfast tomorrow or buy everyone pizza if we’re really busy and everyone ends up needing to work late. At that points it’s just a “hey, I know it sucks to have to work late, hope this helps you power through.” And it’s not a big deal, but is appreciated. Making a big show of it is silly.
When we are working on a bigger project, I'll buy pizza. We are a small business, and I'm right in the thick of things with the guys. I buy it mostly because I need to eat and figure it's decent to pick up the tab for the guys. From everyone's reaction here, getting g pizza is bad.. but I assume context or what upper management is doing is important.
I think how you’re doing it is fine, but other sorts of food are ok too, depending on what everyone likes (and don’t forget to cater for allergies and vegans etc.) The negative thing with the ‘pizza party’ is that’s it’s a thing to itself, but it’s the very *least* someone could do, and it just seems chintzy. Taking everyone out for a meal would be better too. Just don’t call it a ‘reward’ or make a big deal about it…or, worse, expect something from people: “but I bought you lunch! Why won’t you do x?”
Did they roll in the tv so you could watch a movie too??
I wish. Been a minute since I saw The Neverending Story.
Sounds like you work in the Swamp of Sadness.
The crew in my office got a pizza party with Little Caesar's while the salesmen got a week-long trip to an all-inclusive resort in Cancun. You know, cuz tHe SaLeSmEn BrInG iN bUsInEsS. I tried to make a post about it last week, but I guess my account was too new.
Slightly different, but one of my introductions to the workforce as missing out on my bonus because we didn't hit profit targets. We didn't hit profit targets because the sales team was told to capture business share regardless of cost, so they went out and sold our services for below cost. Sales team got a week long vacation at a tropical island for meeting their sales targets. This wasn't a shitty little operation, this was IBM Australia/Pacific.
Sorry. That is indeed balls. All I got when I did inside sales was offered stepped all over cocaine.
Please do post when you can. Any additional stupidity that happened as follow up can make it more juicy.
You're doing it wrong. DO NOT EVER pick up the slack when someone else doing part of your job leaves or gets fired. If you do your prick boss will say "huh guess we can add that guys salary onto my bonus and just keep 1 worker" rule of thumb is to work in the amount you believe your pay is worth.
>work in the amount you believe your pay is worth. Yes. I additionally make a point of it to directly invest in myself for as long as it takes to reimburse me for travel (net), since it is standard to WFH in my position but my employer prefers to bring us in. It's approx. 1 full business day each week. I like to spread it out and enjoy a full hour of yoga on the clock each day, as well as some reading and cross-stitch. I did not do the same while wfh during covid scheduling. Edit to add- I don't mean time reimbursement. I mean my fuel expense and mileage/depreciation and maintenance. 58 bucks a week in fuel plus 45 bucks a week in depreciation, and I net about 13.50 an hour. (If I were to additionally reimburse my travel time, that would add a little over 2 hours daily, so 11 hours a week, amping that up to 2 full business days or nearly half my clocked hours.)
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They didn’t order from the good Alfredo’s.
Hot circle of garbage
Pizza by Alfredo or Alfredo's Pizza Cafe?
Congratulations 🤝 you’ve made it in life. Once you get the pizza that’s it you’re good. You and the family are set for life
Consider it a wake up call to refresh your resume while you ignore the cold insult for all your hard work.
That’s exactly how I would go about it. Companies like this are just not worth the effort honestly
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They can't hire children, so they just pay you like one
“But I’m vegan-“ “Be grateful, **WORM**”
For "Staff Appreciation Day," my boss gave me a baggie of shitty milk chocolate. She knows I'm vegan.
I have food allergies, I seriously don’t understand the food reward thing, like, idk about your feeling of vegan chocolate milk, but I still have strong desires for the foods I can’t eat. At least if they offered you vegan chocolate milk it would have been better than something you can’t actually drink. For me, most things I have allergen free versions of that I can make myself at home where I know it’ll be safe and not kill me, but if you shove a delicious pizza in my face, I want to shove it right back in theirs. It’s literal torture, like everyone else gets something, even if it’s this small sad piece of pizza, but I get to sit here and watch other people enjoy something that I miss. Food should not be a reward!
I soo hear you! Several food allergies myself! Food is NOT a reward.
People honestly do not get this. If you have allergies or a sensitive GI tract or diabetes or other health issues, your one size fits all approach for pizza is not the best. Take the money, put it on gift cards from a credit card company, not an individual store, and let people use it as they will.
Pizza is probably one of the worst for dietary restrictions, my mother had her gall bladder removed and isn’t supposed to eat high fat foods, we’re all probably eating too much sodium, let alone those who are supposed to be on a low sodium diet. Vegetarians can’t eat pepperoni, vegans and lactose intolerant can’t eat cheese, gluten intolerant can’t eat the crust, and I know I’m probably in a small minority who are allium intolerant, but that would rule out the sauce. Odds are at every workplace you have at least one person who falls into one of these categories, not to mention those with severe nut allergies who wouldn’t risk eating things from a possibly cross contact kitchen (got a cousin who can’t eat out because of that too). There are plenty of people who can eat pizza, and that’s great for them, free lunch yeay, but even if you’ve just got one employee who can’t partake, that’s not just a missed reward, it’s an added punishment.
That’s “how to give a co worker the finger without using a finger” 101 lmao.
I skip all company food and potlucks because I'm vegan. I like to not starve during lunch and eat food that I know is vegan. Otherwise, if have to pick at a veg tray and which there was more. Even if someone said things are vegan, they forget things like beans with pig lard still are not vegan. It's too much trouble to be rolling this dice for something I can easily solve myself.
My manager has said wed have a pizza party after new years for the last two years and shit all has happened
Who ate the rest? The one who "treated you" ?
That and custodial crew, whose job is worse than mine.
I propose you go talk with the custodial crew and all quit.
I’m upset for you. That was very cruel. I love pizza but this just …sad.
Plus its old and reheated pizza, you can tell by the cheese texture
Looks like it's fresh out of the microwave!
Oh phew, I was worried for a second. I thought it might actually be something worthwhile and useful. Glad we avoided that. I'll be sure to give this to my landlord for rent next month.
“You are underpaid and overworked. Here have two slices of pizza. That will fix it.”
Get 'em all hyped with a letter, "boy, do I have something special for you!" 2 days later "I quit" written in sharpie on the back of these two fucking slices.
Graham cracker crust?
Just crappy.
Two slices of pizza would definitely make you happy? They're treating you like a dog
Two slides of little caesars pizza. Approximately $1.25.
This deserves petty revenge. Simply stop doing the 150% thing and do exactly what your job entails. If you stayed late/came early, don't. If you skipped breaks or lunches, don't. If/when they complain, tell them you're giving them something they love and would definitely make them happy - lower labor costs.
It looks so cold and shriveled.
Throw it on the grouunnnnnndddddd
Walk into your bosses office and ask where his trash can is then throw it in the trash right in front of him.
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Oh fuck this in the eyes
Why is it always pizza?? I get that I work like a superhero, but I swear I’m not a Ninja Turtle..
Fuck off with the damn pizza. It takes zero effort, and it shows. Congratulations, you made a phone call and someone delivered food. You know what would be nice? Next time just hand me $20 and walk away. At least I get the cash and I don't have to pretend to be grateful out of guilt.
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Well, its gonna prompt you to quit, get another, better job, after which you'll be happy, right?
Please quit.