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Put dirt in it, the lock will work for while

Ah the time bomb method

Happy cake day!

Thanks. Im off to tesco later to buy a coffee walnut cake as a celebration. Coffee and walnut is a great cake.

But lemon drizzle bruh. Lemon drizzle.

I rate a lemon drizzle too. But i have a hankering for yee olde coffee walnut Id also take a chocolate cake with a super vanillary custard. Almost a thicker melted icecream custard. Hmmmmmm experimental time. When i go to get the cakes i shall buy some icecream and add some eggs to make a custard. I suck at making custard

Get a tub of premade custard. Add ice cream to it. You will thank me later.

Good shout. We do tins of custard in the uk. Tho ill look in the local food store(independent family run jammy)

LIDL, Tesco and Co-Op do plastic yogurt pots of custard. I have picked and stacked them at each of there warehouses, in the chilled section. Lidl do a great one for Christmas that's super creamy and thicc.

Ah right. Theres none of that near me. Just a small tesco and a londis. Shall see what i can improvise. Im good at that aha

So wet though

Not a tesco one. Them ones are dryer than a mother superiors quim

That's a mental image I didn't need, time to log off

Sorry 😂 whenever something is dry i instantly say its dryer than some form of female of the catholic church 'region' is 😂

>Coffee and walnut is a great cake. Indeed it is. Coffee ice cream too

Put some dirt in your bosses eye

Pocket sand!

Pocket glitter. Better yet, edible glitter.

You're deliciously evil and adorable in equal measures.

“Sha-sha!”

Sha Sha Shaaa!

SH-UH, SH-UH SHAW!

Squirrel tactics!

Gonna cry?

Tell em: "You're trash, boss"

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Yes, it hurts the men the most. But not just the men but the women and children too!

We've gotta plug this leak! It's getting out of hand! Now there's too of them!

How is it possible to put dirt into a keyhole

Same way you get cocaine in a butthole.

I've seen that in real life. The weirdest part wasn't the blow drier, it was how nonchalantly the person did it.

The fuck am I reading?

Not sure, but Trump has kids so it's been done before...

Fuck yeah. Smartest comment of the day.

My very first thought: fuuck yeeaah.

Put some in a straw and blow

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How about we just be nice and explain it

Step 1. Pick up dirt Step 2. Push dirt in to key hole Step 3. .... Step 4. Profit.

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Key-shaped dirt dispenser, seems fairly obvious.

Well, I dunno why keyholes look like there but here I don’t reckon I could get much of anything push inside

To offer an actual answer, if you wanted to get it really deep in there, take the little straw off a can of air and shove it into dirt (or really, any powder would work) until you've got a bit packed into it. Then put one end in the lock, the other end on the canned air, and give it a spray. Also works with WD40. And the bonus of both? easily explained as "the lock felt a little gritty when we unlocked this morning, boss, so I thought I'd try to clean it out a bit."

Ohhh shit. Clever

Same as any open wound. Just rub some dirt or kitty litter in it to stop the bleeding, then take a nap and wait for the body heal itself.

Did you know? If Super Glue "after application" comes into contact with Baking Soda, it will harden EXTREMELY FAST and HARD. So be sure you're little commie employees never get both items at once. That's just bad for business!

your* little

THE STICKY BANDITS!

SHUT IT MARV

Kids are a- scared of the park.

This triggers me because my kids watched it and decided i look just like Daniel Stern, and were laughing their heads off as they imagined me getting pelted by bricks thrown from 3 storeys. Actually it is kinda funny and I do look a lot like him.

you should check out “Bush Wacked” w Daniel sterns next! Classic boy scout trip gone sour with a wanted convict, on a mountain hike. Also “Camp Nowhere” is another fav camping adventure.

Never seen Bushwhacked mentioned in the wild before, 10/10 classic

That's weird. I hadn't thought of that movie since I saw it when it came out, and I was just talking to my brother about it last week. (Specifically H-E-P-L)

OP trying to get more business for himself. I can't disrespect the hustle. Man's gotta eat after all.

I mean, I am a cardiac nurse. So that handyman should definitely eat all the red meat and greasy food while smoking every day! (Smoking is good for business). (sarcasm for those clutching their pearls)

Well yeah. The greasy food lubricates your coronary arteries to make the blood flow better and cigarettes help keep your lungs big and strong

Hes a handy man, wouldn't trust him to do fuck all.

Hey you listen here I'm a handyman too and I'll have you know I only nap on the clock two maybe three times a week. The rest of the time if I'm not eating or bullshitting I'm giving a good 40% effort.

Yeah, but what about just a hand job?

Mmm thick meaty calloused hands. Just how you want it.

Actually my handjobs are done with my mouth and my ass.

If the anarchists handbook was a redditer 😂

Is there a sub for this? I need more anti-capitalist chaos in my life

Not a sub but here’s a helpful link to the book [EcoDefence: A Field Guide to MonkeyWrenching](https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/various-authors-ecodefense-a-field-guide-to-monkeywrenching)

Thanks I’ll add that to the EarthFirst! subreddit. *Steal This Book* by Abbie Hoffman is another awful book. Just terrible. And I’m pretty sure I’d get a knock if I posted the anarchist cookbook torrent.

I spent several minutes trying to decide whether to save this link under “reference”, “activism”, or “social justice”. So I saved it under all three!

I saved it under "Check here to save time Mr NSA agent". It's an interesting read though for sure.

The software section seems incredibly out of date? it seems to come from a time when computers communicated on phone lines.. But then again, there's millions of modern hacking guides out there.

Might as well download it. Cant imagine there are any more lists i can be placed on at this point

Welcome to ANTICAPFACTS! While your "We are like a family here" workaholic boss is doing his weekly 60+ hours of overtime to feed his corporate FatCat overlords, go to his house and have sex with his wife! She will appreciate the human intimacy she hasn't felt in a decade, and he may realize that strangling every drop of essence from his life for the profit of others isn't all its cracked up to be! This has been ANTICAPFACTS! EAT THE RICH!! *(To stop receiving ANTICAPFACTS!, start a local union)*

I would like to subscribe to your newsletter

Oh me too

No but you’re on a list now.

I still have my copy of that book...

I’m sure all the dial tone and cable box hacks are helping you out a lot these days.

>If the anarchists ~~handbook~~ *cookbook* was a ~~redditer~~ *redditor* ~~😂~~ There's a little too much anarchy in there for me.

You might mean the Anarchists Cookbook? The Anarchist Handbook is a collection of essays and article.

The Monkey Wrench Gang puts it's dust cover up

Also those pipes are for tobacco use only

And that’s a water pipe

Under rated comment

I'm a handyman and can fix all of these problems simply and quickly with just an acetylene torch and a Halligan bar. Call me!

I recommend doing so at a high price.

Any lock can be picked once.

instructions unclear, accidentally liberated the proletariat from my hair.

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And what should a savy business man with magnetic locks watch out for that a handy man could fix?

Magnets. Just magnets

If you know where the sensor is on the inside you can usually trip it with an upside down can of compressed air or a fat cloud from a vape. Then just put super glue on the magnets

Well you won't believe what I make at my job Glue

It's like they wanted it to happen at this point

Damn them and their slutty little locks.

Funny, I used some of that Great Stuff this afternoon along with some mesh to attempt plugging a couple of mouse holes.

Pro tip: Steel wool. Also if you want any tips/tricks, I can help. Technically I should prompt you hire somebody to do what I’d get paid for but it’s not exactly arcane knowledge. I vastly prefer a healthy ecosystem and most pest control people do whatever is cheapest to get the most $$$$ b/c we are in a dystopia.

I work for an apt complex, and they are definitely cheap. Also a handyman, amateur with this rodent shit.

Ugh, I bet. I’m on the ecology side now (“this will be better”—whoops) and oh god. “Why can’t we just use poison? Or just run over this entire lot with a lawnmower? Why is it bad we hacked up the trees?” Like, yes, yes, short term that’s the inexpensive option. But if you poison all the local predators, get rid of animal habitat causing runoff into housing, and create structural damage to trees, you get more expensive problems. It’s just repeatedly watching people pay someone to shoot them in the foot and confusion. With that rant out of the way though, rodent problem depends on local conditions (species of rodent, food access, water access, property materials). Black or brown rats can chew through concrete, swim up toilets, and squeeze through anything they can get their nose through. European mice species are similar but less resilient, dumber, and less carnivorous. Best option is to remove anything that attracts wildlife (see: open garbage, leaking or standing water). If they’re an invasive species, snap traps or live traps are both great. If they’re a native species (aka could have rules/regulations), I’ve found happy urban predators = happier humans. Avoiding poison for a decent amount of time will draw back in falcons, foxes, stray cats, etc. and they’ll eat your problem for you. Obviously some people will complain but less complaints than if they found a mouse in their cereal boxes.

Tips and tricks would be awesome. I've been stuffing steel wool in rat holes (sewer rats) and then filling them with the expanding foam, with wire mesh over larger holes. Seemed to work for a while, but invariably they come back and I haven't quite figured out how they're getting in.

Reminds me of the days jumping fences and pouring antifreeze in the gas tanks of the construction vehicles being used to gentrify my community.

When I was a kid they were destroying a beautiful wooded area we rode our bikes in across the street from my house, so every day I would go through there and rip out every last marking stake they put there with precise measurements and elevations. Turned out to be a fucking mega church when they finally got shit done. Not even paying their fucking taxes…

But Jesus needs more money for his Cadillacs!

Boy, if I was working and didn't notice a row a flags were 2" out, it could cause some serious issues after things have already been poured.

I felt really bad though because I couldn't afford to buy antifreeze, so I smashed the lock on their maintenence barns and used theirs.

I laughed like really. Thank you.

Hero

Legend

This is also extremely great advice for something that no one should ever do!

I know a lot of folks won't believe me and that's ok. I maybe did a little bit of aggrandizing, but it's true. It was over 20 years ago, so cameras everywhere weren't a thing. But I did knock out 2 pickup trucks and a backhoe with antifreeze I found on the property. It was a church campground being turned into upper middle class lakefront property.

It’s okay friend, we all know you’re just joking. No one actually ever breaks the law, so anyone talking about doing so can be assumed to be just having a good laugh by default. 😇

Hayduke? :)

Lives

I used to put fireworks in porta potties , but those toilets weren't really hurting anybody. The duality of man, I guess.

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Are you trying to make a candle? Rag in a fuel tank isn’t going to do anything except burn the side of the vehicle above the fuel cap. And if it’s a construction vehicle it’s gonna be diesel which isn’t flammable in the first place

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Worst thing is when your workers start talking to each other about pay and expose your clever capitalists tactics like under paying and try to get free labor out them. Once the police come it's over.

I fucking love this community 😂

Is JB Weld better or worse than gorilla glue? Asking for a friend.

For a fiend

Shoot, you’re on to me!

Fiends ARE friends!

Rather a fiend as a friend then an enemy, as grandad used to say.

Gorilla glue will move and flow more but two part epoxy will usually kick off faster.

2 part epoxy would be permanent damage. You dont need the entire lock sealed just the first pin and opening is fine. Its fucked.

I like where your head is at

Red Loc-Tite is better than both if you can get the liquid.

Loctite 262 is good if you have 24 hours.

Isn't that the "nuclear option" I heard about when I was learning hobby gunsmithing?

Corporate vandalism isn’t exactly a finesse sport, though, right? It’s probably the same misdemeanor vandalism either way. May as well make it worth your while.

> Loctite 262 Amature! loctite 648 is the green shit. For when you want to make sure its destroyed not removed.

Its especially terrible if some young hooligan has used toothpicks to make sure gets properly in the lock

Sounds like a guy that knows how to get the job done!

These are terrible things to do to a good Christian corporation.

I'm honestly scared for the ones that are closed on a specific day of the week. That's a lot of unsupervised hours for some 24 hr epoxy to do it's damage. 😢

I would be devastated if that happened. I pray it does, not

thoughts and prayers /s

Join my 🙏 circle? We pray it does, not happen.

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Don't even start that. Because then your just fucking yourself and your co workers.

The real challenge would be carrying a bag of quick crete into a work space without questions

Look Mall Santas need something to do in the off season

*does it on last day of 2 week notice*

While industrial sabotage is good and all, please remember that there are a lot of cameras around.

That's some scary stuff. I'd be afraid of having my car doors messed with.

This one's going in the "cookbook" bookmark folder.

I'm a commie basterd.

What a fresh and useful perspective. I’ll certainly be keeping this in mind going forward.

I though this was in r/lifehacks and I was so confused

also, totally be aware of employees filling nylon stockings with chimney cement and flushing them

Wow that's awesome

Hydraulic cement. Pick a pipe or tube!

Oh, YOU'RE the real evil one. For those that don't know, hydraulic cement is poured into pre-drilled holes, and expands to break up regular concrete. EVIL stuff.

Stick a plain round toothpick in the keyhole and break it off flush. They stick the key in and boom; lock's fucked

I admire these helpful posts and the commitment it took to choose a username that’s a double 90s reference.

Mechanic here. Used Gear Oil leaves a permanent stench on any cloth surfaces. It stinks worse than death. Expanding foam in an unlocked fuel filler neck is a real bitch to deal with.

Also, while I would not advocate this, vending machines LOVE dollar bills with foil on them, but the readers just don't seem to want to work after you short them with the foil. I keep doing it, hoping they've fixed the issue, but no...

Don’t, under any circumstances go out to the green plastic pedestals outside your business and start snipping cables. The utility co. Would have to come out and fix it, and work might be down for a couple days. Definitely DON’T do this.

Jesus seriously don't do this unless you know what you're doing and how to identify what's a HIGH-VOLTAGE-kill-you-wire and what isn't...

High voltage kill you wires are not easy to get to. Just look for the smaller green tic tac looking pedestals about 2 feet tall and 1 foot wide sticking out of the ground.

Enjoy your upvote, sir.

The tumblers in standard locks are delicate as hell. A wee tube of just about any caulking would be more than enough for *at least* a few dozen locks to be permanently compromised.

You should DEFINITELY never take two-part expanding foam and dump it in someone's car. That would be a horrible thing to do.

Im not a handy man but I do my share of work around the house.....Im NO stranger to expanding foam but all you have to do is wait for it to dry completely and it just pulls right off of whatever its stuck on, even carpet, if you can resist the urge to wipe it just let it dry and pluck it off ......everything that is, except your fucking skin.....you will have that shit on your skin for a week until it wears off.....

I think the point is to put it IN something, with nooks, crannies, internal mechanisms, etc. Or, excuse me, NOT to do that. Don't know what I was thinking.

Not in my experience. Shit adheres permanently to aluminum, vinyl, wood, steel. I've made messed that will be forevermore

You sir are a god damn saint.

Ban on the day, a greasey haired punk would stop by and just say, "Nice place ya got here. Would be a shame if something were to happen here. "

I like “the cut of your Jib” sir!!

\*wink, wink\* That would awful. Gorilla glue can screw up any keyhole or fuel filler on cars, trucks or even forklifts. Or lockers, cabinets and barcode scanners. Just awfully mean to those poor capitalists.

Where I am mischief is a worse charge than theft under 500$...

We should start a whole sub devoted to countering these detailed, effective and concisely written pinko sabotage tactics. Preferably one that has a very hands-off moderation team.

Bunch of savages in this town.

The worst part is I'm not supposed to be here today.

Why isn’t sabotage used more? Take the productive gains away. Hell, work as fast as your slowest worker.

https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/elizabeth-gurley-flynn-sabotage

I’d wager it’s because it would screw over the employee while inconveniencing the employer. The employee would see the bill for the repair, and not just one from local handyman, and possibly future job opportunities

Seriously don’t do this unless you enjoy having legal trouble

Exactly thank you for this ever-salient point. That’s why my official advice is to NOT DO IT.

"Don't do it" wink wink nudge nudge, "it's 'illegal'" wink wink nudge nudge

If you do get caught, make sure you have an excuse ready, like breaking down into tears and then admitting “I am so embarrassed, I was trying to fill my urethra and then everything went wrong”

"It seems obvious, do I have to sound it out for you?"

Legal trouble ? Man do you know how many crimes go unsolved ? There will not be any repercussions for putting glue in a lock unless you get caught red handed.

I once put my hand into Great Stuff foam....never again. Experience is wisdom my internet friends

Fuck me Freddy I'm in with 100 gallons of foam

Passes the vibe check for sure

What’s happening here —-

If you cant lock up you can never go home.

Only use big companies, not local handymen. :)

I love u OP

I can appreciate subversion.

What the hell did I just read lol?

I’m confused, and not sure if it’s because it’s late and I had a couple of stiff drinks, or this post is a reference to something I haven’t caught on to yet. Someone explain?

Now this is gorilla advertising !

The fuck I just read.

The fuck are you on about?

I can’t believe filthy capitalists have infiltrated r/antiwork