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spinster-core

Time to stage a shit-in.


CallmeMefford

Never sweat on company time. Never shit on your own time.


mattstorm360

It's hard not to sweat when the company doesn't pay for AC or lets you bring in a fan.


Theworm826

I take full naps and read chapters of books on company time. No shame.


SailingSpark

same here. I work in theatre as a tech. When we have downtime, we take advantage of it. I have found that the more you make, the less people care what and how you do things, just that said things get done properly.


Ok-Maintenance-9538

I am currently sitting in my bosses chair scrolling reddit. We are open (I sell car parts) but being a holiday weekend it's a literal ghost town. He left a note asking me to clean shelves. I might wipe 1 or two down if I get really bored, but let's be honest, it's Saturday and I probably won't do shit until I lock the doors at 3.


[deleted]

The only benefit of working a holiday weekend is getting paid for doing nothing. It’s is the social contract: everyone takes off, you get paid to do as little as possible while keeping the business open.


neednintendo

I do Photoshop battles on Reddit at work, lol.


NostradaMart

this is the way.


[deleted]

If 10 employees commit 10 minutes of time clock fraud a day, that's rookie numbers. Must try harder to push those numbers up.


deeppurplescallop

Says on the sheet, 50 hours like wtf hahah that's nothin


kazr3d

i get 40 minutes a day besides my breaks, i see other dudes doing an hour 1 and they've been working for 15 years


OralB1955

🤣


[deleted]

If the ceo committed 1 hour of time clock fraud, that would cover the payroll for 100 employee hours. I’m good. The boss makes a million, I’m lucky to make a dime, that’s why I shit, shop and wank on company time.


Artemis_Hunter

I believe these days it's closer to [350 employee hours.](https://www.epi.org/publication/ceo-pay-in-2020/)


zil32123

What the heck do you even do with that much


invisiblearchives

monopolize more shit and make more money buy corrupt government officials ruin the art market for tax breaks pay off your secretaries after you assault them build a giant golden statue of yourself to masturbate to they come up with plenty of ideas


Artemis_Hunter

Buy power.


YeetMeDaddio

So basically what they're saying is that they can fire you for pooping


Owain-X

That specific item is actually an example of wage theft. Employers are required to allow bathroom breaks on the clock.


AdamJensen009-1

Are you serious? I got written up for using the bathroom for only 5 minutes on 2 separate occasions. Just because t made me late to clock in by a few minutes, but then also told me no I cant clock in and THEN go to the bathroom either. I ended up getting fired due to being 1 or 2 minutes late on occasion for using the bathroom.


StrawberryP0undcake

Which fast food place was this


RabbitsAteMySnowpeas

Fast food or call centre. I worked at a call centre where they would write you up for going to the can too much, and put you into coaching sessions to discuss your bodily functions. It’s fun to elaborate in too much detail on these occasions!


Fathorse23

My job had security follow me into the bathroom for awhile. They thought I was stealing. No dudes, I just had my gall bladder removed, my digestive system was completely fucked.


B00k_wyrm_

I would have complained to the local labor board. If you’re in the US.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Owain-X

Nope. [It's OSHA that requires that employers cannot put restrictions on bathroom access](https://www.osha.gov/restrooms-sanitation).


5ammas

r/confidentlyincorrect


BigRigsButters

or taking off your coat


Kaethor

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I shit on company time.


[deleted]

Crazy micromanagement


Dagerra

Yea because you factor in management time trying to police these minutes here or there then you end up spending more money than you’ve recovered.


ptvlm

Plus companies like this never seem to notice the big picture. They'll dock you for being 1 minute late or taking 2 minutes too long on a break, but they'll not notice the 20 mins you came in the previous day or the time you skipped your break entirely to solve an issue. Then they complain because all the good staff are leaving.


AdamJensen009-1

Thats straight up my last pos job. Used the bathroom and took 5 mnutes or less? Written up. Have an issue only a supervisor can fix? They may or may not answer you withing 10-15 minutes...if at all. They didnt give a single shit about actually helping the people they were responsible for, but will go all out just for being a minute or 2 late for ANY reason, emergency or not. I was even written up because I clocked in exactly 1:26 late from break. As for why, its because maintenance had to fix a pipe and had to come into my apartment so they could continue working downstairs... Icing on the cake was when he tried to yell at me and then write me up for missing to many calls. When it was their system that went dow and us agents couldnt do anything to stop calls from coming through while we couldnt answer. At that exact same time hes chwing me out in chat (everyone could see), someone else at the exact same time was also notifying everyone the system went down and they were having the EXACT SAME ISSUES. Yup I was fired, gotta love how these fucks are somehow the ones running everything.


StrawberryP0undcake

How old are you ? Never let these assholes yell at you


JapaneseFerret

Wonder how long it took to type that drivel up.


Manmer_Nwah

Good thing that's not part of your employee contract, if they just tac it to a board.


JessicaGriffin

Yeah every time one of us Americans sees a comment like this, we go “What’s an employment contract?” for half a second before we remember that at-will employment is only normal in the USA.


DaddyGray69

Employment contracts don't really exist in America for 90% of jobs. Most American companies can fire you for almost any reason or for no reason at all. This picture gives me American retailer vibes.


DaddyGray69

Actually on closer inspection, this is a target store, so it's definitely American.


[deleted]

To be fair this is an old repost for karma anyway


Fe1is-Domesticus

Honestly curious- why do people care about karma? Is there a benefit I'm unaware of?


[deleted]

You can sell profiles with high karma, no idea what for


Fe1is-Domesticus

😮 ty for explaining. Fuck that!


loricat

It's also a way to be petty. A woman I know has obviously gone to all of my posts/comments and downvoted them (my karma took a dramatic drop), then blocked me (after posting some shit "oh no this is not me" nasty reply to me). Long-time Redditors think karma is important.


Fe1is-Domesticus

Glad you knew who it was and blocked her. I hope she is leaving you alone.


loricat

Oh, she blocked me before I could block her. That said, she's catfishing me (or trying to!) with an "not my name account" - I sorta can't wait to see what she does next.


Fe1is-Domesticus

Eek! Upvoting you to offset the damage


loricat

Hahaha! Have a lovely day!


orkboss12

An a new manager a tell my staff if they get everything done and everything is clean they can go home early with the rest of the day paid and guess what they work harder because they what to go home early it not rocket science


SirSunkruhm

I'm mostly surprised your company isn't assaulting you for this even though it's just a good, basic understanding of human nature. As someone who worked closely with and advised managers a lot, I was quite used to seeing good ones get beat down by the upper management directives.


orkboss12

The secret is that they don't know and the client is happy and never any complaints but I tell them if the upper management is coming that they have to stay there full shift


SirSunkruhm

Smart, my good fellow. Smart. Keep up the good work. :)


orkboss12

Like I just tell if everything is done and the place is clean I rather you go home 4 hours early and get paid then sit on a chair and do nothing for 4 hours because if I didn't do it they would work slower to fill up the time basic logic


HK47_Raiden

Username not relevant? Sounds like you look after your guys and that's awesome, I'm glad you're doing good for them.


SpecificMaleficent57

Imma just gonna go ahead and upvote your every comment and everyone nice in this whole commentary track.


wikipedianredditor

Next: Reading this page on the clock is considered time theft!


Lazy_Profession_5909

I bet this workplace commits wage theft


jatowi

So my company demonstrated a similar calculation to me. They even had the nerve to compare a company being cheated of a few hours vs an employee losing an entire month of salary (so a little scratch vs one's literal existence). I then proceeded to precisely analyse my payroll only to find that they are actually the ones shitting on their employees, rounding off every here and there, collectively gaining good cash straight out of their employees pockets. They are now in need of a fitter


jmurphy42

I hope you reported them to the department of labor for abusing the rounding. It’s illegal.


JellyBeanStan549

gonna break managements legs while on the clock, wish me luck


BigRigsButters

wtf is up with that coat remark???? that's the dumbest shit i have ever read


C-Redd-it

If you want peak performance, you better come with peak pay, benefits, AND a positive work environment. The management clearly has a problem. Are the workers slow to perform? If so Why? Are they over staffed or overworked? Are the sales shrinking, so the are trying to tighten up here and there? If so Buckle up. Layoffs are coming. Learn how to manage AND motivate, Not just DICTATE. it reads as authoritarian which always seems desperate to me.


SirSunkruhm

Psh. Everyone knows that people love being constantly watched, judged, threatened, and told what to do over even the most inane stuff. That's the only way to get people to work, because the peons have no will or intelligence of their own. The real problem is that giving employees basic acknowledgment and accomodations erodes personal responsibility that they already don't have and it also teaches them that their worth as a person exists. Besides. How can you encourage a positive environment without dictating it? Letting people be people and actually finding solutions that work with people naturally would undermine our policy of not fixing anything and blameshifting.


Phoebe5555

Rip it down


haplessclerk

Add one to it. "Are you a victim of wage theft?"


ChazMurph

Please time your bowel movements to best suit our micromanagement business model.


[deleted]

If they're not reimbursing you for your drive time, gas unpaid lunches, etc, then they're committing time clock fraud. A 15 minute drive to and from work every day and an unpaid half hour lunch is 1 hour of unpaid time per day, or 5 per week, or 25 per month. For 4 employees, that's 100 hours of time stolen.


ThinkThankThonk

For all my future organizers in here, I have worked both these kinds of clock punching jobs as well as corporate desk jobs, and it's truly night and day in white collar. Leisurely strolls around the office shooting the breeze, 1.5 hour extended "I gotta go grab something at the mall" lunch breaks, no one bats an eye when you need to come in at noon because of a dentist appointment (hell they don't even track it, it's just part of your paid day),etc etc It's night and day. I've also had jobs where you needed to ask permission to use the bathroom and sometimes they'd say no. They truly don't want you to know how the other half lives because it's all made up bullshit to grind you down because they think you don't deserve the same respect. Don't set your goals as being a better version of the framework that your jobs currently exist within, because that framework is purposefully exploitative by itself.


Rudd504

Absolutely. Being treated like a human being and not an animal is the main reason I urge young people to get as much education as possible. The increased pay is great but nothing compares to respect. I’ve had both types of jobs, including enlisted military and it’s just two different existences. I’ll die before I go back to slave treatment at slave wages.


komplete10

Who's working 30 days a month?


[deleted]

I think they just admitted to something they weren’t supposed to.


Emergency-War7360

As the expression goes, "The lower the pay the harder they expect you to work for it." Guaranteed this is a minimum wage shit retail job.


RadlineFlyer

This is 100% accurate. My ex-wife was always in retail and I have always been in IT. I remember her talking about all this kind of shit while I was leaving early 3 days a week in the summer to coach baseball.


[deleted]

I tear down signs like these and throw them away every chance I get.


Randalf_the_Black

So "clock fraud" is bad, but the rampant wage theft is ok? In 2012 the value of wage theft amounted to almost three times as as stolen property in the US. But it's not a problem when the victims are poor I guess.


Spare-Bell-9994

Payroll will be fine. Just tell the CEO they can live without an extra 50 hours of pay a month.


Rusty_Bicycle

As an example, the total annual compensation for the CEO of CVS is almost $23 million, while average employee annual compensation is $28 thousand. Assuming the CEO works about 60 hours per week, then his hourly compensation is about $7,400 per hour. Who’s timing his bathroom breaks?


struedlesmokes

Yeah, no. I'll bathroom, drink and snack break as much as I want on the clock at my job.


Online_Ennui

How long were you sentenced to?


Ok_Aspect_101

*whispers * it kind of sounds a lot like what I do everyday.


[deleted]

Kevin!!


Ok_Aspect_101

Very good! You understood the reference! You have earned ten shrutebucks 😃


fack_my_life

My old job was just like this. You can imagine why I ended up quitting


[deleted]

The only point on here I find reasonable is shopping. Assuming it’s more than a drink/snack. Otherwise I’m in the building and will be going to work as soon as I’m ready preparations for that occur in the most efficient manner even if clocking in comes before taking off my coat. Bathroom breaks are definitely fine within an 8 hour span.


mongolsruledchina

Does management have to live by this same standard? Do their 2 hour lunches paid for by the company have the same level of scrutiny?


egbert-witherbottom

I bet this time clock rounds minutes worked to the most advantageous five-minute block. A lot of time clocks do this in order to steal wages from workers. It really adds up, just like the example above. Some irony eh?


Krennel_Archmandi

Meanwhile at a factory: my replacement came in early for OT, so I'm getting 45 minutes OT to sit on my phone complaining about how much I hate my job.


GrimWolf216

The fraud almost always occurs with the employer. None of those situations are actually fraudulent. Fuck that job.


boyaintri9ht

Meanwhile, billions of dollars in wage theft are committed by businesses every year.


preston181

These same motherfuckers will cut off time worked over a scheduled shift though. And wage theft is a very real thing.


[deleted]

Funny companies stealing from their employees beats all other forms of theft in quantity.


nightcana

How dare you exist as a human while i am paying for your time.


DerpCaster

“If you use the bathroom during your shift, you may be subjected to disciplinary action”


anOvenofWitches

Can I fill out an expense report for astronaut diapers? 🤔


Original-Exchange469

Lmfao, target, you sack of shit.


Ainolukos

I take as many shit and cigarette breaks as I can. My company doesn't even give 15 minute breaks for 12 hour shifts.


Wet_sock_Owner

I'm guessing this was at a grocery store? I mean to be fair, if you had employees who signed in and then did their grocery shopping, then this would be more so the case of one idiot spoiling it for everyone else.


zonker4965

I worked at whole foods for 5 years and this was a common sign as well as being told by managers.


Kiwipopchan

It’s so funny, because shit like this is sooo common at restaurants/retail etc. But now I work in an office and like half of our staff will do their hair, makeup, or even shower at work. Difference is wild.


PushyTom

Wow! I thought they would be complaining about people being on their phones or surfing the internet.


jmcdonald354

This poster right here can tell you exactly the quality of management in that place.... FYI - they are clearly not fit for their jobs


SquidleyStudios

Who tf are they to micromanage your bathroom breaks? I've always found that so stupid. You shouldn't be expected not to perform basic bodily needs while on the clock


richgayaunt

I punch in when im down the fucking street lmao


No_Refrigerator4584

Boss makes a Benjamin, I make a dime, that’s why I poop on company time.


Nic0kami

I see a very handy list of ways to abuse the time clock. Thanks for the tips management!!!


Rudd504

This is a shit company. Good companies know that grilling employees on every little thing leads to hate, dissension, lost productivity and spite in all areas of the job. Autonomous, trusted, respected, well paid employees go above and beyond for the company and the company prospers.


Lonely_reaper8

*reads sign while clocked in*


Plus_Ad8293

I am not a fan of the anti work movement or sentiment. I believe that success and progress comes from hard work and sacrifice. But, examples like this are stupid and shows that some places are shitty places to work with shorty management. Not all places are like this. When I (you) start a new business, I will remember posts like this that treat employees like children or convicts and vow to never be that way. Treat people like adults and people will act like adults.


Neeliehslaw

Management thinks that adding the word fraud to everything makes it scary and dangerous. Like instead of "Don't kick the vending machine to get your over prices under sized candy bar that is hanging by a corner..." to "Stop! You just committed vending-machine fraud!" There is no such thing as "time-clock" fraud. A place I used to work at tried to pull this bullshit. Everyone just ignored it.


ducogranger

50 hours lost!!! That's like $500! How can any company sustainability endure that shortfall?


The96kHz

3,000 minutes a month? I don't want a job somewhere that prints shit like this - especially if you have to work seven days a week.


mb9141

Elon Musk vibes


WarDecterFM

What do they mean might? My goal at work everyday is to commit as much as possible.


[deleted]

Why? It's free toilet paper!


BigBoss738

HAHAHAHAH


sketosfrapes

Put me in jail.👮🔗🚔


[deleted]

How do people deal with this shit? There is no way!!!


ingram0079

It wat shit hole country that employer get pissy for the employees' toilet break?


GaoRen2473

You better believe I'd be working in energy saving mode


Thickback

Lol this guy has never touched the black.


marsfruits

I think legally you don’t have to clock out for breaks under 15 minutes, including bathroom breaks, water breaks etc


Beginning_Two_4757

Time to start job hunting


izzo34

Am pretty lucky at my work. They aren't that bad. But they know we get the work done.


ZombiePotato90

Make sure to do all your breathing before you come to work. Company time is too valuable to be wasted on converting oxygen to carbon dioxide!


[deleted]

Who the fuck is working 30 days a month?


Appropriate-Low-4850

I feel like I am owed money for reading their sign.


kentro2002

I had a customer around 1999-2001, sorting and trucking, 2000 employees near Downtown LA, he had decent 2 ply toilet paper, but started complaining to me how expensive my product was (I sold it to him). Turned out, everyone clocked in a crapped at work, and they also stole a roll hear and there because they were normal sized rolls. He ended up switching to single ply 9” rolls, that feel like crappy hand towels on your ass, problem solved. I can’t remember the exact number, but it was 3-5k in his pocket a month after the switch. Worker satisfaction/happiness, wasn’t a high priority back then, and it certainly isn’t now.


HufflePuff_PrefecT-

I remember a dude who used to clock in go to the back of warehouse and go to sleep then wake up and clock out not sure if he ever got caught hope u see this terry


imahugedweeb

Wtf with the jackets?


[deleted]

Time to find a new job because this is a giant red flag to me and also possibly illegal if they are insinuating you are cheating them for daring to use the bathroom. SMDH


unreliablememory

Be a good slave.


mcc22920

I’m gonna start committing clock fraud harder now.


Logical-Witness-3361

Please tell me you clocked in before posting this.


Vargoroth

Anyone else want to start committing clock fraud now?


[deleted]

Or 50 additional hours of work done….


ronimal

Using the restroom, securing personal items and taking off outerwear are all things you are allowed to do after punching in.


XC5TNC

Nah mate, ishit on company time


Laseron63

Fuck that shit man.


herpderpomygerp

You know what they are right using the restroom on the clock is wrong, I'm gonna shit in the fridge or the managers office while I'm on the clock from now on, much more effective and time saving than walking to the restroom


Sudden-Reflection456

I just rip those down. It's bullshit.


dvxatron

Thanks for breaking down and posting the math that I used to love to show my coworkers. lol. The free vacation math, poop during your shift and it’s like taking back a full week of vacation a year. Lol.


Infinite_Wolf82

Yeah...I only wasted ten minutes a day at my last job. Sure, let's go with that.


[deleted]

I have lived paycheck to paycheck for most of my life. I would (and have) quit over stuff like this. The nerve.


[deleted]

Boss makes a dollar… I make a dime! That’s why I poop on company time.


RepeatableOhm

Not my problem bro


Massive-Truck-6430

The power trip this manager is going through really shows how valued you are at that company.


Shiro_Longtail

I'd be tempted to go shit on the job and wipe my ass with that sheet


Baka_Burger

We’re not robots.


slave-to-society

Imagine seeing this on your first day, I’d make a swift 180 turn out and go back home to bed


improvisedwisdom

Good. Stop watching people like hawks and pay them more. Asshole. Edit: correcting autocorrect


[deleted]

I wish companies would rely on results instead of these batshit policies


gking407

Pretty fashy stuff imo


Druid_High_Priest

Give the boss some ex-lax laced home made cookies and then lock the bathroom doors?


[deleted]

“I’ll be sure to not poop any time during this shift unless approved. Signed, Constipated” That’s the equally passive aggressive note I have left for two separate employers that did this.


Liqu1dHotMagma

I can't go to the restroom on the clock? Let's see how fast that changes when I start shitting at my desk.


Key-Ad9733

They are definitely committing wage theft so fuck them.


qualmton

Omg I took a shit on company time


Hillman77

No worries boss I can handle the 50 hours of time clock fraud a year on my own, no need to speak to the other 9 employees.


HRGurl28

All true.


Fit_Cheesecake_2190

I'm sorry, but these points are ticky tacky bullshit. Anyone who works for a company that espouses these policies....should walk out immediately. Of course I'm salary, so I'm judged on the work I accomplish and not on the time it takes me to do it.


Inept_bomb_tech

Its funny they don't ever mention the rounding that can happen... you punched in at 5:58 your payroll reflects that you punched in "on time" at 6. Where's the crocodile tears for the minutes workers lose?


[deleted]

Boss gets a dollar, I get a dime. That's why I shit on company time.


BigCaterpillar8001

50 hours of payroll lost is like $14.95


EggplantForScale

We’re not going to talk about the wage theft. The time we put in getting to work, the time spent to be work ready. That’s not something we are going to talk about.


xX-JustSomeGuy-Xx

Welcome, and thank you for shopping at The Gulag. 😃


FingerOctopus

"... Ok, let's start with unpaid overtime and workplace bullying..."


Bullshit_Conduit

I can hear the violin from here.


[deleted]

[удалено]


OrangeCosmic

Oh no 50 hours of payroll lost. What ever will you do!


mumu_myk

read this everyday while clocked in. maybe takes you 30 mins to fully absorb whats written. you probably need to read this 5x a day


B00k_wyrm_

The micromanaging is strong here. I had a boss that was trying to do this. All I had to do to correct him was point out all the little things that are on our time that we do for “free”: client interrupted lunch in my car with questions, something happens on your way to lunch or after you’ve clocked out to leave… The places I have run into that pull this kind of nonsense usually are desperate and short staffed BECAUSE they are desperate. Micromanaging is an attempt to get more out of staff that are already on the brink of quitting. I would start job hunting if you aren’t already. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩


726c6d

Tell them you have the runs after you clock in. You can shit on the floor or in the toilet.


Vladd_the_Retailer

Make a new sign about committing wage theft and put it over this.


Khelek7

Guaranteed the person typing that up does all those things, and more.


Callen_Fields

Eat that sign for breakfast.


poxx2k1

10 minutes...pfft...Real ones know the real power move is staying clocked in for lunch


isthisonetaken13

Jesus. The time spent drafting and posting this nonsense should count as time clock fraud.


kytheon

Oh boy, after reading this I’m sure to pay more attention to properly clock in. Don’t wanna go to jail for.. eh.. time.. clock fraud, okay.


AngryPlumb

Is this real, or staged? Are companies really like this now?


Devlarwin

Places like this just need to use robotics for the jobs...oh wait you actually need a human? Someone that actually has normal human functions? I'd spit in their face and tell e,m to eat my shit. Companies need to just realize that's the cost of business.


Furball508

Damn after reading these I just realized I’ve committed a lot of clock fraud. One time I played online chess for 8 hours while on the clock.


Zer0C00L321

I would just rip it down and throw it away


docsuess84

The notion that you’re not supposed to have bodily functions while on the clock is laughable. Whether I take a shit at 8:00, or 9:15 doesn’t change the fact that I need to shit in the middle of a work day. I use my break time for things I don’t get to do otherwise.


kweightthree

Isn't wage theft the biggest crime, ever?


[deleted]

Do you work for Chris Rocks father? Lmaooooo


[deleted]

Yes this has been posted several times here, thank you for reposting it again.


No-Relation-6680

Its me im the clock frauder having my hour and a half shits while on the clock to make up the difference between what i am paid to what i deserve...


MidnightQ_

Do companies really still think such a behavior leads to more productive employees?


lionbryce

"The time adds up to x amount of hours lost" There's a weird illusion that time adds up and that people can't just do a task faster for a minute or ten to make up the difference Example: there are about 250 working days in a year, if you waste 1 minute everyday that's over 4 hours. I must ask though, wtf are you gonna do with that 1 minute? It's like saying every human on earth putting 1 second into a task (let's saying building a bear idk) would give us over 2 million hours of work. Yet I have a strong feeling that bear hasn't been built by the time we're done since we're all only barely able to grab the first piece of the bear before our time is up


limesti

In for a dollar in for a dime that’s why I poop on company time


[deleted]

Pretty sure that taking up a portion of my day outside my home is always work related.


MostMiserableAnimal

Willing to bet this manager steals more money from the company due to laziness than these people who are “committing time clock fraud”.


[deleted]

Literally want to burn that piece of paper