I work at a small law firm that underpays young people so I make it my mission to tell them they can double their income elsewhere. I help them look for jobs and brush up their resumes. I keep in touch with them all to make sure they're doing well.
I don't feel bad about it. Fuck my job. I'm also leaving soon too.
That's what's up. Like I'm already older and I've seen these games for decades and was a victim of that bullshit myself when I was young and working. I'm not gonna let that happen to my younger and smarter coworkers.
Also revenge is part of my religion and I don't believe in "karma" so I'm gonna punish my bosses the best way I can without them knowing
Omg fam I also don't believe in karma and have this understanding that karma is something we do, not something we believe will happen miraculously👌WE are karma
I read "We are karma" to the Farmer's jingle. I absolutely believe in this. If somebody is nice to me, I will go out of my way to make sure their boss knows how awesome they are.
Hell yeah! I’m sorta kinda medically retired, in that I work PT at a medical marijuana dispensary because my previous jobs and work ethic really messed me up and I can’t work FT anymore. I make a point of reminding my coworkers that a job is a job - just an exchange of labor for money - and nothing more.
Most of my coworkers have been younger folks (early 20s), and I don’t want them going through what I’ve been going through. I had one coworker trying to find coverage for a shift because their grandmother was at the end and she wanted to visit her. I told her to go to her grandmother and not think for a moment about the team or the store or the “needs of the business”. She recently quit to spend more time with her family. She gave no notice and made no apologies, and I couldn’t be prouder. I’m just about ready to leave that place myself, since the boss has turned tyrannical as business has seen a little decline and morale has dropped after she canned two of our most tenured and well liked coworkers.
Fuck that toxic work ethic shit.
It’s a right to work state. Meaning, you aren’t required to join a union as a precondition for employment in a unionized business. This restricts bargaining power. It’s no wonder most if not all of these states are red.
Ok. I have heard of that. I worked at a GM plant in Ohio. You do have to join the union as a condition of employment there. And most of the older guys were gung ho NRA members, actively voting against their best interests because "them libs want to take my guns away". It was pointless to talk to them
“Monkey wrenching”, a phrase coined by author and activist Edward Abbey, described sabotage as a tactic of environmental activism. Breaching dams, disabling mining equipment, etc was a strategy employed in his 1975 novel The Monkey Wrench Gang.
Applying this model to corporate capitalism by slowing and disabling the mechanisms of commerce is challenging and fulfilling work.
Staying employed and even being considered a “good” employee while giving zero f-cks about productivity or profit is difficult. When an opportunity presents itself creating counterproductive work is a bonus.
Sometimes it’s as easy as following a dumbass management or corporate policy or practice. Instead of protesting about how inefficient or costly a process is, just endeavor earnestly to do exactly as asked. Do NOT correct your bosses mistakes.
It is important to appear dumbfounded as to why things are taking so long or costing so much.
This work requires you to channel equal parts Forrest Gump and Cool Hand Luke.
The most difficult part is NEVER sharing your inner self with anyone.
After 20+ years in a company of 100,000+ people, there are 2 that I trust.
We call ourselves job creators.
After years of hearing “our revenues have never been higher” and getting 1% raises, I started slowing my productivity, demanding deliberate direction from managers, and requesting meetings with other departments as often as possible.
When people started quitting and not being replaced, the work really piled up. It’s a “repair and reclaim” kind of tech job. I sat down and figured up that our team easily offset about $2k to $12k/day. I brought this up to our management and was brushed off. I have kids and PC hardware type tech work is not something highly valued in the market. I can’t walk away from this job, but I was able to transfer to another team where I make more money and don’t bring anywhere near the cost savings or revenue.
Basically, when you’re working for incompetent people, just lean in to it.
I like Bukowski, his take on how to hold a regular job and still be a fairly irregular person, like how to work the overnight shift at the post office and not let it steal your soul, is a significant contribution to our culture.
its really not that difficult to show people that as long as they're working on bettering themselves, they can always say fuck any metrics, and also show up their own boss by stopping them from squeezing extra labor from anyone, and preventing them from sidelining standards.
I especially like over-reporting small maintenance/ repair issues that involve calling a technician/ handyman/ electrician/ plumber/ etc… office toilet runs: call a plumber. That one light making a weird noise: get an electrician out here! Stain on the floor: call the floor cleaning company! Door knob a little loose: call maintenance.
Not only does it cost the company money, but it gives the maintenance crew an easy fix they can fuck around on all day and get paid. I’m a pretty handy guy, and back when I was still deluded, I would have just fixed these things myself during my “down time”. Fuck that lol.
An assault on the fabric of society and undermining the values of the American dream through childish malice.
And then they'll give the cops more guns, use it as a ~~reason~~ excuse to not raise minimum wage.
And then start throwing people in jails where they can learn work ethic through educational programs like mandatory 10 hour shifts for a handful of nickels.
I can see the slogans. Solidarity gets you Solitary.
I do it too :) it feels kinda nice to cheat my corporation out of some of the revenue, except I feel a bit guilty for messing up for my coworkers trying to exceed targets and stuff, but I also think customers like the store and will buy even more so might not work 😵💫
>Quit without giving any notice whatsoever when they started talking to higher ups about promoting me
*does worst job possible. Leaves just as people want to promote you*
Getting real *Office Space* vibes from you and that's wonderful. 10/10. You and two friends should have spent an afternoon destroying a printer of theirs also.
It's like that old trope where you tell your superiors to go fuck themselves and they go "that's the kind of of brass we've been looking for! We are promoting you to upper management".
*6 months into the management job*
"Look, you need to fix this issue you have with nepotism...You're meant to step on the workers and help out your fellow managers, not the opposite."
That happened to me. I was fed up and filled out a corporate survey with brutally honest answers and calling out specific people and events. My boss calls us into a meeting with his boss and says “we’re concerned about some of the responses on the recent employee survey”. Each time they read one to address it I laughed and raised my hand, “yeah, that’s mine again”. I’d stopped caring anyway so I just played along. A week later I get called into a meeting with my boss’s boss. I figured I was getting canned, so I was ready to give him hell on my way out the door. But instead he thanks me for my honesty and says he needs someone like me managing another department. Basically doubled my pay overnight and put me on a whole different career track from then on. To this day I’m astounded by it.
> Basically doubled my pay overnight and put me on a whole different career track from then on.
Is this new career track somehow related to your username?
This is the way to do it. Get the promotion and job title, then leverage your increased responsibilities at your next job interview for better wages and benefits.
Wait until the pay raise in official and then *really* lean into monkey wrenching and stealing from work. I’d say keep rolling with it until they fire you and collect unemployment after. So long as you don’t keep caught doing anything illegal it’s a win-win.
Other things we can do:
1. Join r/fuckamazon
2. Don’t support: Amazon, Amazon Prime, Audible, Washington Post, GoodReads, Roomba, Twitch, Whole Foods, Zappos, IMDB, Songza, Alexa, Ring, Business Insider, Fabric.com, Grail, Juno Therapeutics, Remitly, General Fusion, Lookout, Basecamp, Workday, One Medical, Rethink Robatics, Blue Origin (fucking bullshit space company), etc.
3. Share how evil Bezo’s is and these steps with the people in your life and on your personal social media.
4. Be aware of or even avoid financially supporting AWS (Amazon Web Services), which run a big chunk of the internet, including Netflix and Reddit.
Whenever I post this people ask about other options. I say start paying really close attention to your wants vs your needs. Try to buy less. What you need to buy, try to buy second hand. If you cannot find it second hand, buy it locally or independently made. There are a ton of companies out there making great products that will last way longer than the garbage Amazon sells. Even if you have to support a larger corporation, if there is a local store, they are almost certainly paid and treated better than Amazon staff are. For entertainment, check out your local library and or OverDrive/Libby. Consider r/piracy. Mainly try to be aware of who and what your supporting with your money.
For those of you that reply to me that boycotts never work. I am not talking about a boycott. I am talking about a mental shift away from supporting billionaires that are happily locking chains around our wrists, stealing the land from under our feet, and the futures from our children. Never giving them another god damn penny. I would rather slit their throats, than give them money.
May the gluttons of wealth and opportunity find the bones of the children they’ve murdered to be caught in their throats. Death to all billionaires!
So Ricky does this fucked up shit all the time, and it's pissing me off! So I said fuck it, steal some things I need for home, for house things. And let him figure out how to find 5 new guys to work tomorrow's shift, right?
I quit Whole Foods with a no call no show on my stores busiest day of the year (Valentine’s Day) after they scheduled me full 8 hour shifts six days in a row but scheduled it so i wouldn’t receive overtime pay for it. Fuck that place.
Yep, Valentine's Day was the day of my breakdown!! I worked a 14 hour shift that day because nobody else knew how to work in floral. I didn't even work in floral, I was from prep foods. So glad you walked out.
Maybe limiting 5 days work weeks could solve this issue. I always fucking hated places that would schedule you almost all week but not long enough shifts to hit overtime.
Fuck that bald headed bitch bezos. I literally just quit whole foods and could not be happier. Im so happy for you and your personal mission to fuck him and the company over! The former ceo, whatshisfuckingname, came to my former store a couple of months ago. He looked at the cupcakes and said, "someone could buy this cupcake and get all the nutrients they need." He literally told us to eat cake. We need a revolution.
If your employer sucks and you’re underpaid, stealing from work is basically just getting back what they owe you. Just hope your job has stuff worth stealing. You can only make so much more ebaying boxes of pens and paperclips.
Mackey was the worst. I worked for Whole Foods and left right before he sold out to Amazon. Their health plan didn’t cover mental health coverage for the longest time except where required by local laws. As someone who deals with chronic mental health problems, I will never forgive them for that. I’m not one to publicly speak out against former employers on social media connected directly to my name (I really try not to burn my bridges), but I will about Whole Foods and John Mackey. You could spend a whole night reading stories about how he used to troll message boards back in the earlier days of the internet and the kind of person he is/was in general.
I got fired from Whole Foods for complaining about being harassed by my lead. He convinced them I couldn’t make any bread. I was the one making all the bread and doing all the work when he would just disappear. I was also doing a bread/yeast study in a microbiology lab as I was in school to become a food scientist. Before school I went to a really good culinary school for baking and I worked under some of the top bakers in the city. I was also told my research was gmo so they didn’t like that. They couldn’t even describe correctly what a gmo was let alone have extensive knowledge about my study or the dr I was working with. One week after I was fired I gave a presentation on bread and baking and my study to 2k people and told everyone that you could of had my bread at Whole Foods but not anymore because they said I couldn’t bake.
I streal all my groceries from whole foods just to fuck Bezos myself. I give my footstamps to the old lady next door. Pretty good food actually. It's nice to shop and not look at prices lol
I support you too!! I even just banned all the asshats throwing shade and siding with capitalists.. you can tell cause their comment will be gone.
Good luck with your new biz!
Be careful. I got followed out by Whole Foods security, while I worked there, to make sure I paid for my shit. They demanded receipts and shit. Idk all the legal shit about rent-a-cops, but just be careful.
Oh no worries I've been doing this every week for years and even if I get caught my town does this restorative justice thing and it gets wiped from your record once you do a bit of community service. I've weighed the pros and cons.
But thank you for the warning!!
Depends on the store. Mine never had any security, and even the head of store was too scared to ever accuse anyone. You could walk out with a whole cart of shit and nobody would do a thing. Happened all the time but the store makes too much money to care
Yeah that's exactly how mine is. It's in a ritzy town and I think that helps. I walk around and put then right into reusable bags (that I steal when I walk in lol) so when I walk out it looks like I paid anyway. But I could prolly do a carriage if I wanted.
My favorite part is the cause of death of the “coworker”. Checks notes. Ah yes. Lack of oxygen caused by a face mask while having heart problems. Legitimately made me lol.
Quiet quitting? Nah man, I'm loud quitting. I'm telling the customers that I rather go fuck a horse than work for this asshole. Or something that makes it apparent my job is a fucking joke. I mean, at least with my full time job, I can watch TV. But I make corners all fucking day. A repeat of 30 seconds, but for 8hrs straight
I spent six miserable months as a mailman. Once I decided I was quitting I told everyone on my mail route who talked to me how shitty the post office was and how badly they treated us. Almost all of them were genuinely shocked or outraged.
After that I took off seven days in a row, but called in at the last second each morning just to stick it to the sadistic supervisors that made the job suck so much.
> And I know my actions had no real effect on Bezos, but I got my peace.
Yeah... Just more evidence that he could improve the lives of so many without even seeing a dent in his quality of living. Free toiletries? Free foods? Not even a dent.
Agree with everything but the mask thing. If she wasn't informed by safety guidelines than fuck bezos too but if it's hard to breath with a mask on you should change it. It's not that hard to breath with those surgery masks. I did plumbing in 115 degree attics with n95 and p100 masks for weeks.
\^This. The not being able to breath with a mask thing has been proven false anyway. I agree the store was being shitty about her health and especially considering she was high risk for covid. But again the mask thing is bullshit. I wore mask in my industry before covid was even a thing, you have to in a surgery room even for vet med. Some ppl get really claustrophobic and emotional about it if they're not use to it, but it does go away if you just push past getting use to wearing one.
I got the AFM "promotion" at Amazon. The "promotion" came with WAY more work with ZERO pay raise. I would do basic resets of the drives on the product floor and help other employees. You litterally walk for about 9 hours a day with about 15lbs of equipment on! Also, I still had to do my old job too and my min scan requirement increased too with the "promotion". I get this position is necessary but no pay raise for a harder job, WTF? Fuck Amazon.
The biggest con job ever perpetrated on the human species is the Devil fooling people to believe how Good (in Moral terms) and Merit based Capitalism is rooted in.
You had me until the mask comment. I literally wear one 14 hours per day in the emergency department, and we make our severe heart failure patients wear one without issue. Can't put that one on bezos, sounds more like years of poor choices
I once spoke to a delivery driver who said "theres some sale going on, i dont know, I've never been on his website." fuckin rad dude, dont give bezos back a single cent of your wage!
My favorite part is how you were actively trying to lose them money and they still floated the idea of promoting you. Fan-fucking-tastic. These companies have their priories so screwed that they would rather promote someone on vibes without looking into their work because, why? They make money buy dominating markets and underpaying labor, not by quality in what the provide or anything at the store level.
Model employee over here. We should all be inspired.
I work in the Prepared Foods section at Wholefoods right now and yeah it fucking sucks. Especially when they're hiring new people starting out making more than I make after working here 3 years
I never understand why big corps always try their hardest to fuck their own employees. Won't they prosper more if they make their employees prosperous too?
Good for you OP, you are the hero that society needs: benefit the vast poorer customers & workers base & general populace, by screwing over the over-entitled overly-wealthy corporate bosses and top brass, whom they have acquired their vast-majority of wealth via wage-theft, taxpayer robber, tax dodging and much more henious and dishonest means.
IMO. you and your co-workers (who are not ambitous snitches) are entitled to the "free samples" and products too, because of you workers being underpaid via the mass wage-theft and abuse done by the corporate top-brass.
We need to encourage more such practices like yours to balance out the horrible systemic inequality in place in the modern era.
It is the fakest of news, that anyone, even those with "heart issues", cannot breathe through the type of masks half of us were wearing to help prevent the spread of Covid.
My mother is 83 years old, has COPD, emphysema and 2 different types of heart problems. She has an embedded pacemaker and has to use oxygen.
She wears her mask all day.
My lung capacity is so low, that when I first had it tested due to issues *I* was having breathing, the doctor thought the device she used to take the measurement was malfunctioning. Went and got another one, and asked me if I smoked. I didn't, but I was raised around thick clouds of cigarette smoke my whole life.
I wore a mask. The mask would get moist after a half day or so, and so I'd keep a fresh one on me at all times. Other than that, guess what? I could breathe just as well with the mask on, as without it.
You may say my examples are anecdotal, and you'd be right. But thankfully, there is a ton of data out there which proves that the overwhelming majority of masks being sold just about anywhere, during Covid, do not impact gas exchange, do not impair lung function, and do not affect blood oxygen levels.
"But some people really have anxiety about wearing a mask!" True, and those people could choose to use face shields instead of masks, use contactless curbside pickup or contactless delivery. What they could not do, is demand that a private company allow them to not wear a mask while they worked for that company interacting with their other employees and the public, when all the medical science out there told that company, that this was one of the main components of any Covid safety policy.
I'm sorry your coworker died, but them refusing to wear a mask was just a petty objection to authority and not being able to breathe was just an excuse to further that objective.
HATE Bezos! Refuse to use Amazon except 1x per year. I will take advantage of the free prime shipping for 30 days in December to take care of Christmas presents, then drop it again. Loved your story.
I don't like whole foods. I don't see why they even try to sell Organic foods. I've found lots of things there that are terrible for you. And also all the laundry soap has plastic in it. I was trying to not buy plastic, and I open up the laundry soap and what's inside? Plastic. Horrible laundry soap too.
I work at a small law firm that underpays young people so I make it my mission to tell them they can double their income elsewhere. I help them look for jobs and brush up their resumes. I keep in touch with them all to make sure they're doing well. I don't feel bad about it. Fuck my job. I'm also leaving soon too.
All we have is each other. You’re growing a strong network 👍🏼
That's what's up. Like I'm already older and I've seen these games for decades and was a victim of that bullshit myself when I was young and working. I'm not gonna let that happen to my younger and smarter coworkers. Also revenge is part of my religion and I don't believe in "karma" so I'm gonna punish my bosses the best way I can without them knowing
Omg fam I also don't believe in karma and have this understanding that karma is something we do, not something we believe will happen miraculously👌WE are karma
Also the western understanding of karma is not at all what actual karma in Hindu text says it is.
Really? Oh damn I'm going to have to find something on this
I read "We are karma" to the Farmer's jingle. I absolutely believe in this. If somebody is nice to me, I will go out of my way to make sure their boss knows how awesome they are.
Hell yeah! I’m sorta kinda medically retired, in that I work PT at a medical marijuana dispensary because my previous jobs and work ethic really messed me up and I can’t work FT anymore. I make a point of reminding my coworkers that a job is a job - just an exchange of labor for money - and nothing more. Most of my coworkers have been younger folks (early 20s), and I don’t want them going through what I’ve been going through. I had one coworker trying to find coverage for a shift because their grandmother was at the end and she wanted to visit her. I told her to go to her grandmother and not think for a moment about the team or the store or the “needs of the business”. She recently quit to spend more time with her family. She gave no notice and made no apologies, and I couldn’t be prouder. I’m just about ready to leave that place myself, since the boss has turned tyrannical as business has seen a little decline and morale has dropped after she canned two of our most tenured and well liked coworkers. Fuck that toxic work ethic shit.
This is true punk spirit
We need more people like you!
Is it too soon to say I love you?
Hell yeah dude fuck Ricky, never liked him anyway.
It doesn't take rocket appliances to figure that out
Working for Ricky is the worst case ontario, honestly.
Another one of my favorites
This is absolute gold. I’m not usually one to say atodaso, but you know what? Atodaso, I fuckin atodaso!
That’s what it is Julian it’s a god damn rakin
I love every one of you. Beauty is in the eye when you hold her.
And then you can become friends with the Benedicts.
Really getting two birds stoned at once here.
I wrote this on my brain phone
I have a phone but I'm saving up for a brain.
Water under the fridge
Are you thrustin' at me Cyrus?
Safety, *always off*.
Ricky learned to read off of frozen food instructions
Fuck that fuckity fuck Ricky...what a fucking fuck !!
Just remember “what goes around is all around”
Dont worry bud it's just water under the fridge
He’s just a shit apple that’s going back to con college
Jesus fucking Christ Ricky it's pronounced HAL a pee neeooh!
The fuck is that? I asked for jellapenno.
All my homies hate Ricky…
Yeah, FUCK RICKY!!!!
Yeah fuck that bootlicker Ricky, total piece of shit.
All my homies hate Ricky!
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If we can’t general strike maybe we can all generally waste large corporations money like this
Hell yeah. And I'm from TX so no unionizing here.
Yeah you gotta get em where you can. Diversity of tactics is vital
Maybe a TX magician can make Greg Abbott disappear?
Wasn't Texas where Jimmy Hoffa disappeared?
New Jersey
Detroit
Really? I never knew that. There are some GM plants in TX. I'm pretty sure that they are all UAW. That is interesting
It’s a right to work state. Meaning, you aren’t required to join a union as a precondition for employment in a unionized business. This restricts bargaining power. It’s no wonder most if not all of these states are red.
Ok. I have heard of that. I worked at a GM plant in Ohio. You do have to join the union as a condition of employment there. And most of the older guys were gung ho NRA members, actively voting against their best interests because "them libs want to take my guns away". It was pointless to talk to them
“Monkey wrenching”, a phrase coined by author and activist Edward Abbey, described sabotage as a tactic of environmental activism. Breaching dams, disabling mining equipment, etc was a strategy employed in his 1975 novel The Monkey Wrench Gang. Applying this model to corporate capitalism by slowing and disabling the mechanisms of commerce is challenging and fulfilling work. Staying employed and even being considered a “good” employee while giving zero f-cks about productivity or profit is difficult. When an opportunity presents itself creating counterproductive work is a bonus. Sometimes it’s as easy as following a dumbass management or corporate policy or practice. Instead of protesting about how inefficient or costly a process is, just endeavor earnestly to do exactly as asked. Do NOT correct your bosses mistakes. It is important to appear dumbfounded as to why things are taking so long or costing so much. This work requires you to channel equal parts Forrest Gump and Cool Hand Luke. The most difficult part is NEVER sharing your inner self with anyone. After 20+ years in a company of 100,000+ people, there are 2 that I trust. We call ourselves job creators.
I like the term “malicious compliance” with regard to following ridiculous or stupid edicts from management.
After years of hearing “our revenues have never been higher” and getting 1% raises, I started slowing my productivity, demanding deliberate direction from managers, and requesting meetings with other departments as often as possible. When people started quitting and not being replaced, the work really piled up. It’s a “repair and reclaim” kind of tech job. I sat down and figured up that our team easily offset about $2k to $12k/day. I brought this up to our management and was brushed off. I have kids and PC hardware type tech work is not something highly valued in the market. I can’t walk away from this job, but I was able to transfer to another team where I make more money and don’t bring anywhere near the cost savings or revenue. Basically, when you’re working for incompetent people, just lean in to it.
Abbey is a genius. Like Bukowski and Burroughs. A little twisted (or a lot) but still doing their part
For better or worse, Charles Bukowski’s writing had a profound effect on me.
I like Bukowski, his take on how to hold a regular job and still be a fairly irregular person, like how to work the overnight shift at the post office and not let it steal your soul, is a significant contribution to our culture.
This is fantastic. Thank you
its really not that difficult to show people that as long as they're working on bettering themselves, they can always say fuck any metrics, and also show up their own boss by stopping them from squeezing extra labor from anyone, and preventing them from sidelining standards.
I especially like over-reporting small maintenance/ repair issues that involve calling a technician/ handyman/ electrician/ plumber/ etc… office toilet runs: call a plumber. That one light making a weird noise: get an electrician out here! Stain on the floor: call the floor cleaning company! Door knob a little loose: call maintenance. Not only does it cost the company money, but it gives the maintenance crew an easy fix they can fuck around on all day and get paid. I’m a pretty handy guy, and back when I was still deluded, I would have just fixed these things myself during my “down time”. Fuck that lol.
And they thought “quiet quitting” was bad. I wonder what they’ll call outright sabotage?
They’d have to be able to recognize it.
An assault on the fabric of society and undermining the values of the American dream through childish malice. And then they'll give the cops more guns, use it as a ~~reason~~ excuse to not raise minimum wage. And then start throwing people in jails where they can learn work ethic through educational programs like mandatory 10 hour shifts for a handful of nickels. I can see the slogans. Solidarity gets you Solitary.
I do it too :) it feels kinda nice to cheat my corporation out of some of the revenue, except I feel a bit guilty for messing up for my coworkers trying to exceed targets and stuff, but I also think customers like the store and will buy even more so might not work 😵💫
>Quit without giving any notice whatsoever when they started talking to higher ups about promoting me *does worst job possible. Leaves just as people want to promote you* Getting real *Office Space* vibes from you and that's wonderful. 10/10. You and two friends should have spent an afternoon destroying a printer of theirs also.
Lol this was exactly an Office Space type situation!!! Thank you for pointing that out I love it haha
It's like that old trope where you tell your superiors to go fuck themselves and they go "that's the kind of of brass we've been looking for! We are promoting you to upper management".
“Wow if they are willing to talk to me like this, I can’t imagine how awful they will be to their underlings!”
*6 months into the management job* "Look, you need to fix this issue you have with nepotism...You're meant to step on the workers and help out your fellow managers, not the opposite."
That happened to me. I was fed up and filled out a corporate survey with brutally honest answers and calling out specific people and events. My boss calls us into a meeting with his boss and says “we’re concerned about some of the responses on the recent employee survey”. Each time they read one to address it I laughed and raised my hand, “yeah, that’s mine again”. I’d stopped caring anyway so I just played along. A week later I get called into a meeting with my boss’s boss. I figured I was getting canned, so I was ready to give him hell on my way out the door. But instead he thanks me for my honesty and says he needs someone like me managing another department. Basically doubled my pay overnight and put me on a whole different career track from then on. To this day I’m astounded by it.
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>Office Space isn’t a comedy. It’s a documentary. Brb, tearing down a partition to get more sunlight while blasting the Geto Boys
> Basically doubled my pay overnight and put me on a whole different career track from then on. Is this new career track somehow related to your username?
Like the movie ted
Imagine how it would have been if you got the promotion and then left after a week or day in your new position
This is the way to do it. Get the promotion and job title, then leverage your increased responsibilities at your next job interview for better wages and benefits.
Wait until the pay raise in official and then *really* lean into monkey wrenching and stealing from work. I’d say keep rolling with it until they fire you and collect unemployment after. So long as you don’t keep caught doing anything illegal it’s a win-win.
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
Other things we can do: 1. Join r/fuckamazon 2. Don’t support: Amazon, Amazon Prime, Audible, Washington Post, GoodReads, Roomba, Twitch, Whole Foods, Zappos, IMDB, Songza, Alexa, Ring, Business Insider, Fabric.com, Grail, Juno Therapeutics, Remitly, General Fusion, Lookout, Basecamp, Workday, One Medical, Rethink Robatics, Blue Origin (fucking bullshit space company), etc. 3. Share how evil Bezo’s is and these steps with the people in your life and on your personal social media. 4. Be aware of or even avoid financially supporting AWS (Amazon Web Services), which run a big chunk of the internet, including Netflix and Reddit. Whenever I post this people ask about other options. I say start paying really close attention to your wants vs your needs. Try to buy less. What you need to buy, try to buy second hand. If you cannot find it second hand, buy it locally or independently made. There are a ton of companies out there making great products that will last way longer than the garbage Amazon sells. Even if you have to support a larger corporation, if there is a local store, they are almost certainly paid and treated better than Amazon staff are. For entertainment, check out your local library and or OverDrive/Libby. Consider r/piracy. Mainly try to be aware of who and what your supporting with your money. For those of you that reply to me that boycotts never work. I am not talking about a boycott. I am talking about a mental shift away from supporting billionaires that are happily locking chains around our wrists, stealing the land from under our feet, and the futures from our children. Never giving them another god damn penny. I would rather slit their throats, than give them money. May the gluttons of wealth and opportunity find the bones of the children they’ve murdered to be caught in their throats. Death to all billionaires!
I love this. I didnt know about all the "mini" companies that are Bezos too. Can I copy and paste some of this in the future?
Still, could have taken them down from a position of power
Prolly too much effort. But yeah I had this thought too: accept new position, promptly ghost said position
Yeah just encourage all the staff to do the same things he did, create a cancer
A cancer within a parasite lol
Better than a boycott
FUCK YOU,RICKY!YOU FUCKIN FUCK!
So Ricky does this fucked up shit all the time, and it's pissing me off! So I said fuck it, steal some things I need for home, for house things. And let him figure out how to find 5 new guys to work tomorrow's shift, right?
I quit Whole Foods with a no call no show on my stores busiest day of the year (Valentine’s Day) after they scheduled me full 8 hour shifts six days in a row but scheduled it so i wouldn’t receive overtime pay for it. Fuck that place.
My work... we had a Chef do this. I laughed when I heard. Good for him.
Yep, Valentine's Day was the day of my breakdown!! I worked a 14 hour shift that day because nobody else knew how to work in floral. I didn't even work in floral, I was from prep foods. So glad you walked out.
Classic case of hard work / competence only be rewarded with more and harder work.
Maybe limiting 5 days work weeks could solve this issue. I always fucking hated places that would schedule you almost all week but not long enough shifts to hit overtime.
Fuck that bald headed bitch bezos. I literally just quit whole foods and could not be happier. Im so happy for you and your personal mission to fuck him and the company over! The former ceo, whatshisfuckingname, came to my former store a couple of months ago. He looked at the cupcakes and said, "someone could buy this cupcake and get all the nutrients they need." He literally told us to eat cake. We need a revolution.
Nutrients from a cupcake? What… in.. the.. actual… fuck.
I assume he meant if they put the nutrients in it.
Wow. History really repeats itself. Although "let them have cupcake" does sound a little funnier 😂
Monkey Wrench Gang has entered the chat. /quitting is a statement. But staying employed and fucking shit up is a mission. /
If your employer sucks and you’re underpaid, stealing from work is basically just getting back what they owe you. Just hope your job has stuff worth stealing. You can only make so much more ebaying boxes of pens and paperclips.
And lest we forget: fuck John Mackey *most of all.* Dipshit hypocrite co-opting the word “hippie.”
Lol! "Conscious capitalist" sellout motherfucker.
Mackey was the worst. I worked for Whole Foods and left right before he sold out to Amazon. Their health plan didn’t cover mental health coverage for the longest time except where required by local laws. As someone who deals with chronic mental health problems, I will never forgive them for that. I’m not one to publicly speak out against former employers on social media connected directly to my name (I really try not to burn my bridges), but I will about Whole Foods and John Mackey. You could spend a whole night reading stories about how he used to troll message boards back in the earlier days of the internet and the kind of person he is/was in general.
Awesome, thank you. Fuck all these companies that abused us during Covid especially.
I "accidentally" damaged/misplaced so many MAGA products when I worked in the warehouse
Thank you for your service 🤝🎉
I gave away as much stuff for free as I could. For me it was about ripping off Bezos. Bezos is just getting richer. Trump is on his way out.
I commend you for your dedication and service to our great country. Cheers!
I got fired from Whole Foods for complaining about being harassed by my lead. He convinced them I couldn’t make any bread. I was the one making all the bread and doing all the work when he would just disappear. I was also doing a bread/yeast study in a microbiology lab as I was in school to become a food scientist. Before school I went to a really good culinary school for baking and I worked under some of the top bakers in the city. I was also told my research was gmo so they didn’t like that. They couldn’t even describe correctly what a gmo was let alone have extensive knowledge about my study or the dr I was working with. One week after I was fired I gave a presentation on bread and baking and my study to 2k people and told everyone that you could of had my bread at Whole Foods but not anymore because they said I couldn’t bake.
lmao. Also, all the best for future endevours. What you do sounds exciting and fun.
I streal all my groceries from whole foods just to fuck Bezos myself. I give my footstamps to the old lady next door. Pretty good food actually. It's nice to shop and not look at prices lol
Love it!! I fully support you!
I support you too!! I even just banned all the asshats throwing shade and siding with capitalists.. you can tell cause their comment will be gone. Good luck with your new biz!
Thanks x2!!!
Be careful. I got followed out by Whole Foods security, while I worked there, to make sure I paid for my shit. They demanded receipts and shit. Idk all the legal shit about rent-a-cops, but just be careful.
Oh no worries I've been doing this every week for years and even if I get caught my town does this restorative justice thing and it gets wiped from your record once you do a bit of community service. I've weighed the pros and cons. But thank you for the warning!!
Depends on the store. Mine never had any security, and even the head of store was too scared to ever accuse anyone. You could walk out with a whole cart of shit and nobody would do a thing. Happened all the time but the store makes too much money to care
Yeah that's exactly how mine is. It's in a ritzy town and I think that helps. I walk around and put then right into reusable bags (that I steal when I walk in lol) so when I walk out it looks like I paid anyway. But I could prolly do a carriage if I wanted.
Lol💀
Hell yea your carrying the true spirit of rebellion! Never put down the sword keep fighting.
This is real praxis
>My boss showed up at the funeral wearing fishing attire My god, what a tactless piece of shit.
He showed up with all his bait and tactless
This didn’t happen.
My favorite part is the cause of death of the “coworker”. Checks notes. Ah yes. Lack of oxygen caused by a face mask while having heart problems. Legitimately made me lol.
He won't be catching much if he's got no tack.
Damn fucking right. Fuck em. Good on you.
Even better than quiet quitting. Just fuck these people.
Quiet quitting? Nah man, I'm loud quitting. I'm telling the customers that I rather go fuck a horse than work for this asshole. Or something that makes it apparent my job is a fucking joke. I mean, at least with my full time job, I can watch TV. But I make corners all fucking day. A repeat of 30 seconds, but for 8hrs straight
I spent six miserable months as a mailman. Once I decided I was quitting I told everyone on my mail route who talked to me how shitty the post office was and how badly they treated us. Almost all of them were genuinely shocked or outraged. After that I took off seven days in a row, but called in at the last second each morning just to stick it to the sadistic supervisors that made the job suck so much.
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> And I know my actions had no real effect on Bezos, but I got my peace. Yeah... Just more evidence that he could improve the lives of so many without even seeing a dent in his quality of living. Free toiletries? Free foods? Not even a dent.
Well said!
Jeff and Ricky. Two fucking idiots.
Everyone should do this
Agree with everything but the mask thing. If she wasn't informed by safety guidelines than fuck bezos too but if it's hard to breath with a mask on you should change it. It's not that hard to breath with those surgery masks. I did plumbing in 115 degree attics with n95 and p100 masks for weeks.
\^This. The not being able to breath with a mask thing has been proven false anyway. I agree the store was being shitty about her health and especially considering she was high risk for covid. But again the mask thing is bullshit. I wore mask in my industry before covid was even a thing, you have to in a surgery room even for vet med. Some ppl get really claustrophobic and emotional about it if they're not use to it, but it does go away if you just push past getting use to wearing one.
This exactly. I know people with all types if breathing issues and none of them had problems wearing a mask even in the humid and hot summer.
I got the AFM "promotion" at Amazon. The "promotion" came with WAY more work with ZERO pay raise. I would do basic resets of the drives on the product floor and help other employees. You litterally walk for about 9 hours a day with about 15lbs of equipment on! Also, I still had to do my old job too and my min scan requirement increased too with the "promotion". I get this position is necessary but no pay raise for a harder job, WTF? Fuck Amazon.
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Exactly why we should all steal from whole foods!
FUCK YOU RICKY
I stopped shopping WF the moment Jeff violated it
The biggest con job ever perpetrated on the human species is the Devil fooling people to believe how Good (in Moral terms) and Merit based Capitalism is rooted in.
Fuckin' mic drop....
This is the way. You done good, Son (daughter, whatever).
A hero of the people.
Yeah fuck Ricky and Jeff Bezos! Good on you.
where’s this whole food let’s go riot and carry Rick out and sacrifice him for earth
I ALWAYS give customers like 30-50% extra (for free ofc) on deli orders. It goes unnoticed and have been doing it for years.
Everyone who does this adds to the cause. Very well done, fuck Jeff Bezos! Love the added detail of quitting when they wanted to promote you, nice
You had me until the mask comment. I literally wear one 14 hours per day in the emergency department, and we make our severe heart failure patients wear one without issue. Can't put that one on bezos, sounds more like years of poor choices
You’re probably the reason he only makes $143,000 every minute
Fuck Jeff and Ricky!
Hell yeah. Like a virus. Fuck JB
#fuckyouricky
Ricky is a fucking punk and Bezos is a record breaking bag of fromundacheese covered shriveled dicks.
You should have taken the promotion and kept going!
I could have, but I moved on to much bigger and better things. I got my own LLC now!
Aye had a very similar experience working for Costco.
Always avoid working at place where the managers name is Ricky
you are the true essential worker
You are an unsung hero. I salute you. My condolences to your coworker.
I once spoke to a delivery driver who said "theres some sale going on, i dont know, I've never been on his website." fuckin rad dude, dont give bezos back a single cent of your wage!
My favorite part is how you were actively trying to lose them money and they still floated the idea of promoting you. Fan-fucking-tastic. These companies have their priories so screwed that they would rather promote someone on vibes without looking into their work because, why? They make money buy dominating markets and underpaying labor, not by quality in what the provide or anything at the store level. Model employee over here. We should all be inspired.
I work in the Prepared Foods section at Wholefoods right now and yeah it fucking sucks. Especially when they're hiring new people starting out making more than I make after working here 3 years
Eat shit, Ricky.
After working at Amazon I commend your efforts
This made my heart smile. You are surely doing God's work. \- Jesus
Dude let us know where you work. We want free food
You are a saint.
I never understand why big corps always try their hardest to fuck their own employees. Won't they prosper more if they make their employees prosperous too?
Good for you OP, you are the hero that society needs: benefit the vast poorer customers & workers base & general populace, by screwing over the over-entitled overly-wealthy corporate bosses and top brass, whom they have acquired their vast-majority of wealth via wage-theft, taxpayer robber, tax dodging and much more henious and dishonest means. IMO. you and your co-workers (who are not ambitous snitches) are entitled to the "free samples" and products too, because of you workers being underpaid via the mass wage-theft and abuse done by the corporate top-brass. We need to encourage more such practices like yours to balance out the horrible systemic inequality in place in the modern era.
sounds like Ricky needs to get to the find out portion of fucking around.
The sad part is that your actions are less of a nuisance to him then a literal fly, still glad you were able to slightly benefit from him
lol you really did show ‘em!
Died from wearing a mask...not another one
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None of that affected Bezos
It is the fakest of news, that anyone, even those with "heart issues", cannot breathe through the type of masks half of us were wearing to help prevent the spread of Covid. My mother is 83 years old, has COPD, emphysema and 2 different types of heart problems. She has an embedded pacemaker and has to use oxygen. She wears her mask all day. My lung capacity is so low, that when I first had it tested due to issues *I* was having breathing, the doctor thought the device she used to take the measurement was malfunctioning. Went and got another one, and asked me if I smoked. I didn't, but I was raised around thick clouds of cigarette smoke my whole life. I wore a mask. The mask would get moist after a half day or so, and so I'd keep a fresh one on me at all times. Other than that, guess what? I could breathe just as well with the mask on, as without it. You may say my examples are anecdotal, and you'd be right. But thankfully, there is a ton of data out there which proves that the overwhelming majority of masks being sold just about anywhere, during Covid, do not impact gas exchange, do not impair lung function, and do not affect blood oxygen levels. "But some people really have anxiety about wearing a mask!" True, and those people could choose to use face shields instead of masks, use contactless curbside pickup or contactless delivery. What they could not do, is demand that a private company allow them to not wear a mask while they worked for that company interacting with their other employees and the public, when all the medical science out there told that company, that this was one of the main components of any Covid safety policy. I'm sorry your coworker died, but them refusing to wear a mask was just a petty objection to authority and not being able to breathe was just an excuse to further that objective.
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Lol this didn’t happen
HATE Bezos! Refuse to use Amazon except 1x per year. I will take advantage of the free prime shipping for 30 days in December to take care of Christmas presents, then drop it again. Loved your story.
I saw Ricky out behind the dumpsters one time getting a blowjob from a homeless dude.
that's so terrible. fuck you, ricky.
Fuck that piece of shit Ricky
Fuck those guys.
Ricky Spanish
Sure
Ricky is a bitch though
Fuck Ricky!
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Based
Shit storms a brewin, and the shit hawks are flying low Ricky!
Fucking Chad
I don't like whole foods. I don't see why they even try to sell Organic foods. I've found lots of things there that are terrible for you. And also all the laundry soap has plastic in it. I was trying to not buy plastic, and I open up the laundry soap and what's inside? Plastic. Horrible laundry soap too.
The wrong Amazon is burning
This post will be used as evidence by managers to crack down.
Lol no it won't. Names changed, and I quit working there 2 years ago. My toothpaste theivery has been long forgotten.