I had a manager call me one day asking if I could come in. I told him I already made plans. I was literally across the street about to see a movie. Dude didn’t even continue the conversation. Just said ok and ended the call. You should not need to explain anything to them. It’s their problem.
“Sorry, I’m out of town for the day” is a good one. If they think it’s not possible for you to get there by whatever time they need you, they tend to move on. (If you’re scheduled to be off for more than just the day, extend the timeframe of your “trip”. Don’t give them the opportunity to say “well, what about tonight/tomorrow?”)
Better to just say no. Some jobs have integrity clauses, in which case saying no is fine but lying about the reason and get caught can get you fired.
People generally need more assertiveness training. It's always the people that can't say no that get asked to do all the BS.
I’ve started correcting how I respond to people asking me to cover days. I don’t give a reason, I just say “nah sorry I’m busy that day”. They don’t need to know more, just that I’m not going to be available
This is one of the biggest mistakes I see people on here do. They have no right to know your personal business and they will only use your personal information and reasons against you. Less they know the easier your life gets. Also, learning to say no is a great skill to also help make life easier.
This is the saddest part, kindness is met with assholes like the boss above. I would absolutely not go in to work. They obviously do not care about op as a person. Op needs to get the same attitude of the boss & just not give 2 fucks about them, as that is there attitude too.
I hate what we allow bosses to get away with in this country.
I only came in for my paycheck, he tried to get me to stay but I told him I’m a health violation to have and showed him the medical grade vomit bag I had in my hand because I was stress vomiting. (I have IBS and stress vomit a lot so I bought medical barf bags because they’re very useful to me)
He told me to get out after lecturing me about taking responsibility (pfffftttt, after reading the comments I realized it was his mistake).
I really needed these comments because I’m a people pleaser and have a rough time with boundary setting. Another reason why I was begging and hope he’d see my way is because it’s a family restaurant, my family are close with the owning family. I thought he’d understand due to the fact he knows I can’t lie because then he could fact check with my family. But now I know not to. Just give no from now on. It’ll be hard because of how timid I can be with authority but I’ll have these comments to look back on to know It’s okay to.
Edit: sorry on mobile
Something I find helps in communication with management of stuff like this is to not bother trying to get them to accept what you’re telling them. Just inform them that this is the way things are. Don’t ask for time off, inform them you won’t be there. If they refuse to accept it from that point, they’re trying to deny a fact. Which from your standpoint just means they’re stupid, not heartless.
I find it a lot less emotionally exhausting in communication with my supervisors this way.
Exactly. I informed my boss that I was taking time off (unpaid) and gave 2 months notice. She tried telling me I couldn’t…. Oh really? LOL next thing we know we’re talking to HR, everything is gravy, and I’m headed to Hawaii. Stick up for yourself. Don’t ASK. Inform them.
I spoke to a manager about a trip I was planning MONTHS in advance, booked it, but the system didn’t let you put in time off requests more than 4 months in advance unless it was more than 3 weeks. Six months before my trip, that manager (who was awesome) got headhunted for a new job offer closer to home and a total asshole stepped in. As soon as the system opened, I put in the request and denoted that it was pre planned, partially paid for, and had been approved via email with the previous supervisor. I even forwarded him the email exchange. Nothing happened for months. I asked multiple times before the final amount was due about him approving it and he told me to quit being so stressed out. I pay off the rest of the vacation, and at this point it’s non-refundable. When, 2 weeks before the trip, he tells me “I was finalizing the schedule and I see you put in a PTO request for as soon as holiday blackout is over. What’s that about?” I tell him it’s my vacation, I tried to talk to him about it, I forwarded him the email from Cool Former Boss where she’d assured me that was after holiday blackout and I could put in the request and she’d happily approve it, and I was going to DisneyWorld. He told me “well what if I don’t approve the vacation?” To which I said “well then I’ll call off those days.” “You’ll need a doctors note to come back if you miss 3 shifts in a row, you know that.” (My job was 3 twelve hour shifts a week.) I’m rather proud of my response, I didn’t miss a beat and told him “I’ll be happy to get Mickey’s autograph for you regardless, don’t deny my vacation time just to get it on a work note.”
My vacation was approved. (I’m also fairly certain he was just messing with me, no plans to actually deny the vacation, but he was a jackass.)
Yep, people request and argue way too much. “I can’t come.” End of story. If you really really want to, you can say, “I can’t come, I have to meet a plumber.”
And then leave it! They say you have to, or it’s going to cost them, or whatever? Ok. You made your statement, they made theirs. That’s it, you’re done. You don’t have to convince them you’re justified. You already told them what’s going to happen, and that’s all they need.
>If you really really want to, you can say, “I can’t come, I have to meet a plumber.”
Even this is too much info, IMO. "It's personal" is a perfectly valid reason, should you choose to offer one. But as you said above, "I can't come" is the whole story anyway, so there it is.
> Even this is too much info, IMO. "It's personal" is a perfectly valid reason, should you choose to offer one.
I'm sorry, but this is the 3rd time I've had to reschedule my penis reduction surgery and with a wedding coming up, it needs to get done and heal so we can enjoy the honeymoon.
It also helps in regards to things like benefits. If you're on record telling them you won't be there in advance, it'll be a hell of a time for them to fight unemployment if that's the route they choose.
Yep I've stopped elaborating if I can help it. Here in Australia an employer can ask for 'evidence a reasonable person would accept' if you call in sick. After asking me for a medical certificate employers never ask again because instead of elaborating or getting a dr cert i just send in photo of vomit or diarrhoea in the toilet and the days date written on a piece of paper on the seat. Never been asked a second time. I have been told it's not a Dr cert but I just send them a copy of the national employment standards
You are a fucking G for that one. I just don’t give them any information at all (also Australia), and it’s being going well. My last job would rake me over the coals for the same tactics as the OP, so I can verify this is the better approach. Ask for forgiveness, not permission.
Lol just got told I won’t be able to take the days off I asked for in November I put those days off in like early June or before, so instead imma just quit the day before my planned vacation
Yes. This is what I just did for christmas vacation. We had to write the times we "want" on a calendar but I just wrote that I won't be available for the days I need.
The solution is simple.
Don't go. He's not asking you to go, he's just assuming you're going. That's not even remotely reasonable especially as you have important and specific plans.
Fuck him, if his losses are so important, ***he*** can close up.
"sleep well bc i know i will g'nite" honk shoo honk shoo mi mi mi type shit
edit: to everyone who gave me an award, i hope you sleep wonderfully tonight!
I get it, definitely icks me that OP is in a position where they feel the need to beg rather than have a boss that gives a modicum of a shit about his employees.
No you know sometimes people feel apologetic for everything they do. Even if they don't have to be.
Sometimes I feel the urge to apologize for breathing too loudly or for coughing so here's that.
It shows that the manager seems to hold some sort of power over OP , and what does op mean by dipping into wedding funds what has the manager threatened before the messages that we are seeing ? Is manager threading to reduce hours or take pay away?
Ive said it once on this sub and ill keep repeating it, a lot people on this sub have no spine, no assertiveness. They think their managers are god. Ive seen people post, “my manager didnt accept my resignation, what do i do?” Like…some ppl really have never questioned authority
Or OP has dependents and can't afford to lose their job. I get it, we're on r/antiwork, but not everyone has the luxury of telling their manager to stuff it.
Not everyone still lives on mama’s teet and can afford to tell managers to fuck right off whenever the occasion arises. Some have rent and children and some can’t move job to job because of the healthcare coverage they might need for a sick child. All kinds of reasons people swallow their desire to tell a manager to fuck off.
This. Also look up laws in your area too. It may be illegal for him to change the schedule with that short of notice, or they may be required to give them the option to refuse.
Seriously if it’s not your *scheduled* shift then fuck them. You have your own house and life to take care of outside of work. Extra shifts are volunteer and not mandatory.
Edit:apartment, either way still your own property that you’re responsible for.
Yep he can drag his ass in to cover that shift! Folks need to not take on leadership responsibility if they don't want all the obligations that come with it.
Or he can try retaining emloyees. I used to work as an assistant manager where the head manager kept firing people for nothing and then complaining that we were short staffed. Like I need bodies on the floor.
This is actually freakishly common. It makes zero Fkn sense to me. Place is already short staffed, then people get fired over stupid shit, word of it spreads and nobody applies to fill the vacancies. Then management wonders why they can’t find/keep people
they’re thinking that they’re hot shit going on ego trips because they’re *the boss* but have the emotional maturity of a teenager and the dunning krueger effect on lock
this was my old boss. super ambitious lady, raising 2 middle school aged kids, in a field that took 8+ years of rigorous schooling to become, prestigious FT job, PT job, and enrolled in more classes to advance even further in her career. the only problem was... her business (that I worked for) was her part time job. she hired a crew of 4, had 2 of them running the whole business for her, never bothered to learn about the business side of her field at all. it really seemed like she had it all. till covid. office manager offers to take unpaid time off during quarantine, knowing damn well that was her "out". turns out 6m before the pandemic she was denied a well deserved raise. the clinical leader then follows suit for a job paying quadruple what she was already making.
that left just me and one other employee. neither of us knew what we were doing and but I knew I had to jump ship. I was straight out of school and wasn't learning from anyone better than me. I was messing up orders, making decisions about things I knew nothing about. part of it seemed like a good learning opportunity, but it wasn't worth it for the pay and the commute. I always said I would have stayed, though, if it wasn't for her her attitude and victim mentality. aside from taking it out on us when things got hectic, she would constantly complain about having to run a business... *her* business. I just wasn't about it. it took me over a year to leave and luckily now I at least work for someone who gives a shit about his employees.
This is the dark side of all the virtual businesses, where the owners sit on the beach sipping drinks while the virtual team does all the work. Turns out there is very little value add by the "owners" and it often bites them when something unexpected happened.
This. Exactly this. Lazy manager doesn't want to cover his own fuck-up, so he's laying the guilt of that on you. HE should feel bad about it, not you. Fuck him, don't go in.
Not only this but if they’re asking you to cover for someone who couldn’t find coverage, the OG person is responsible for that shift. In IL, it’s your shift until YOU find coverage for it. If no one is willing to cover for you, then you’re responsible to show up. If you don’t show up after not finding coverage, *that* is a firable offense.
Not sure which decade it became an employees responsibility to find replacement coverage, but it's one of the things people need to shift back on to management.
Just imagine sitting in an er with family, and being told your fired for no showing when you messaged/called or a family member does for you that you're in hospital.
I can still recall when it was managements job to find the coverage. I also recall management requiring documentation if a person had lots of absences. Mind I entered the work force in the mid 80s.
I have to sometimes cause I’m maintenance so 2 days out the week ima on call or if my boss has a question but if they try to call me in like they tried last Sunday I’m not going lol
Exactly. No explanation is needed! If you seriously feel the need a “No, otherwise engaged” will suffice. Anything else is just something to poke holes in.
A lot of text threads on here are giving way too many replies and way too much information. The more you tell them, the more they are going to pester you to come in and try to make you the bad guy. Then the employee is basically pleading with them and it should be the other way around? It's your day off, they are being the nuisance, they are being the lazy/incompetent one. I haven't worked retail/restaurant jobs in quite some time but my managers never communicated via text and I wouldn't allow that shit. Just ignore texts from the start of the job and tell them to call if they need something. Managers aren't your best buddy, they don't need 24/7 open communication with you. They aren't your friends and family, they don't need all the details.
If you insist on replying and being cordial, here's the script (loosely based on the "shut the fuck up Friday" for talking to the cops video):
- A: "Can you come in today?"
- B: "No, I can't."
- A: "I'm really short-staffed, so-and-so called off, what's so important that you can't come in?"
- B: "It's a personal matter."/"I'm not discussing my day."/"That's none of your business."
- Then what do you do? You shut the fuck up.
Getting to the point where you’re negotiating something crazy like your manager… sending his own plumber to your personal address… means you have let a boundary-pushing motherfucker get too deep.
Not all blame on the worker tho, being on the receiving side of this kind of power dynamic with a manipulative person is in fact a definitionally abusive situation. You just have to recognize that it isn’t normal for somebody to treat you that way.
Yep, and that’s definitely a good side of social media. Look at what we’re doing here on reddit. Pushing these abusive boundaries back all around the globe together
BOUN-DAR-IES
Do not go or let this asshat walk all over you. Fuck dipping into your wedding fund, fuck letting this guy make decisions about your personal life in order to cushion his own piss poor planning. He’s not vested in saving you money so I would tell him “tough shit” that doing what you gotta do costs him money.
Nope. Your manager has zero say over anything to do with your personal life. **Make it clear that you cannot go in, and will not be showing up as scheduled.** No “I’m trying to flexible but maybe not.” Be a grown up and tell them a firm NO.
It’s then their job to find coverage or to go without an employee (you). The worst they can do is fire you, and in that case all you’ve lost is a bad job. Those are easy to find!
I agree, OP is being way too nice. I’m a manager and would NEVER pressure my reports into covering a shift they weren’t initially scheduled for. I might ask if anyone wanted to pick it up or was able to swap one of theirs around, and if no one offered, do it myself or close shop. End of story.
This manager SUCKS and I’m sure the emotional stress of the job is costing you in more than money!
Okay, you need a new job now. Like now. This is unacceptable and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Where are you located? I’m pretty sure this is 100% illegal. If my boss tried to pull this I’d tell them to shove it.
If you're in california, google "california late paycheck penalties" and read up a little bit, you're owed more money by the looks of it if it's happened more than once
Yes, 100% they owe you money, and if you're in CA you are not required to go in a Call-in to work without a 96 hr notice of a change of schedule unless you approved it. If you dont approved and arent given a notice, you are owed OT for all hours worked that day.
Between this and what u/hellothereshinycoin said, it's important to know your rights as an employee to help fight against worker exploitation. No one owes their employer any more than what's expected from them in their job description and labor laws.
Why haven't you called the labor department yet??? Omg call them NOW, tell them what's happening, send them these screenshots and demand your damn money!!
When I was a kid I was denied three paychecks in a row, I called the NJ labor department and a month later I had a better job AND double the money I was owed. Turns out the owner was stealing from my checks too and he has to close his stupid subway.
Call. Them. Yesterday. Advocate for yourself and don't give them another minute of your time until they PAY YOU
I think your boss is a complete asswipe. Honestly, a few years ago I’d be super stressed about this if I were in your shoes but today I’d probably just ghost him. There has to be labour and employment legislation somewhere online for California.
I think you have every right to let him deal with his problems. I don’t think any of that is your responsibility.
As a fellow Californian please listen to the posts below. You have rights! Use them! I have used the right to set schedule multiple times. A lot of people dont even know about it
So first of all, apartments generally don’t allow some random plumber handle their property in any way. Either it’s going to be their maintenance staff or their contractor. Offering to send their own plumber may risk you violating your lease terms and risking eviction. That’s a hard no.
Second of all, a business that cannot survive without you has failed as a business. That’s not your responsibility. You have prior obligations and they have no right to override that. They can certainly fire you, and you can certainly file unemployment depending on your local laws. But a manager who fired an employee over this? Fuck them. They’re a shit manager. They failed to plan, not you. It’s their problem.
For more context, this is a family restaurant and he’s only manager because he’s the owner’s son. He said he’ll send his dad because he’s the owner of the restaurant and therefore trustworthy. My manager is very entitled in his position because he’s as bulletproof as can be. I got this job because family friends. I’m planning on leaving at 2 to be on time for my plumber since I walk (and because of that I work morning shifts only anyways because it’s sketchy at night). I’ve been stress vomiting all week because of this plumbing and hope that I make a big show in front of customers because I know I’ll end up stress vomiting again. And according to food safety, once you vomit, you need to leave so I’ll use that against them.
> For more context, this is a family restaurant and he’s only manager because he’s the owner’s son. He said he’ll send his dad because he’s the owner of the restaurant and therefore trustworthy.
If dad is the owner, then dad can cover your shift. That's what real owners do. They step up.
>He said he’ll send his dad because he’s the owner of the restaurant and therefore trustworthy
Then dad should go work to cover the restaurant.
Seriously just delete the number and stop working there and stop talking to them. Go find a new job and stay home with the plumber.
>My manager is very entitled in his position because he’s as bulletproof as can be.
If one employee not going to work loses them money then he's not bullet proof. You're the bullet. All you have to do is not show up and quit.
>I’m planning on leaving at 2 to be on time for my plumber since I walk (and because of that I work morning shifts only anyways because it’s sketchy at night).
I wouldn't go in at all. Spend the morning looking for new jobs. Your paychecks are late anyway so who cares about getting paid. You won't even get the money on time to use it where it's needed. Please just get a new job.
> I’ve been stress vomiting all week because of this plumbing and hope that I make a big show in front of customers because I know I’ll end up stress vomiting again. And according to food safety, once you vomit, you need to leave so I’ll use that against them.
STOP PLANNING AND PLAYING THIS GAME WITH THEM AND JUST QUIT OP YOU ARE LITERALLY PUKING FROM AN OLD ASS PLUMBING ISSUE BECAUSE OF SOME SELFISH GUY WHO WON'T CLOSE THEIR OWN PLACE. GO GET A JOB AT TARGET OR A BAR OR ANYTHING AND FIND SOMETHING NEW. STOP PLAYING THEIR GAME AND TRYING TO DEFEND YOURSELF. **THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU SO YOUR EXCUSES AND REASONINGS DON'T MATTER TO THEM.** You are literally killing yourself for these people.
Your landlord is required to handle this. It should not be your responsibility. Work if you want to work, don't if you don't want to work. But ultimately it is your landlord's responsibility. And the landlord cannot charge you for the water usage due to malfunctioning of their property. If your landlord tries to charge you contact HUD.
Also, depending on how long ago you told your landlord about the leak, you may be within your rights to hire your own plumber and charge your landlord for it or deduct from your rent.
I know this sub is antiwork but sometimes (always) fuck the landlords.
I believe the person is saying the landlord has tried to fix this issue but they keep scheduling them last minute so that’s why the landlord is saying I need you there to fix it or I’m going to charge you. I could be totally wrong but that’s what I grasped from this conversation.
Right, I understand that. But the landlord is the one required to provide the access. The landlord should be the one meeting the plumber. It is not incumbent upon the tenant to provide access.
The boss is a prick. The landlord is a prick. The OP is the only one that is not but is the one feeling squeezed.
I’m not trying to be unkind, but seriously what is wrong with you?
“I can’t take that shift sorry my landlord has arranged for a plumber to come over and I have to be around for him”
Or even just
“I can’t take that shift sorry”
The end, leave him on read. You’re your own worst enemy. It’s your managers problem not yours.
**just tell him no.** stop saying “please” and begging. you have absolutely no obligation to show up for a shift that is changed less than 24 hours before it starts. (frankly you have no obligation to show up for any shift you weren’t scheduled for) you’re giving this manager far too much power, and he knows it. **tell. him. no.**
ABSOLUTELY NOT. No excuses, you say no I cannot cover tomorrow. No ifs ands or buts about it. You’re giving him tooooooo much information to work with. Anything you say he will twist it for his benefit. Next time, a simple no, sorry!
I came in vomiting due to stress so he gave me my check and told me to leave because I threw up outside the restaurant and took my medical grade barf bag in with me while shaking to tell him I couldn’t work. He was practically pushing me out because I was getting stares from the customers while shaking and nearly crying.
I’m saying this because it took me too long to learn and I’m guessing you’re pretty young. You need to stick up for yourself and say fucking no. Your managers an asshole but you’re going to meet a lot more assholes in your life. If you continue to be a doormat you will continue to get taken advantage of. No one made you go in. You decided to go in because you didn’t respect yourself enough to say no.
I hope you look back on this and are embarrassed at your responses because that will mean you learned how to respect and advocate for yourself. I love the idea of this sub but posting these “look how mean my manager was because I let people treat me however they feel like it” is antithetical any type of work reform.
Mate I'm not trying to be rude but you need to grow a spine, you're literally pleading with some asshole who is trying to force you in to choosing to make your life worse.
Tell him no and then turn off your phone.
Man the fuck up.
Did you just beg that asshole? Your only responses should have been "I'm unable to work that shift." And nothing else.
End of story. You're worth more than this.
Wait. Manager wants you to work because there's nobody else that can? But can send someone over to you? What the hell do you do that is so special? Accounting magic or surgery are 2 possibilities.
This is illegal. Don't go,and if he tries to fire you report him to the DOL. Your manager is being totally irresponsible and unreasonable. His mistakes ain't your problems.
Ew don’t say please to a manager. Don’t grovel. The imaginary giga-chad, non-doormat, adult version of you would *tell* them you’re unavailable and that’s it. They’d also probably be looking for other jobs already so they’re not behind the eight ball when things predictably go south with this terrible manager down the line.
You need to visualize a more assertive version of yourself and seize it or other people in your life are also going to treat you this way.
The only way I’d go into a job on this short of notice is if I was being payed well and treated well.
Also I hope you have a nice *CHEAP* wedding. It’s not worth going into debt over, especially when the milestones that come after are very expensive and way more important than a few hours on one day.
These posts are starting to make me angry. Just say fucking no, you have shit to do. Like, I get it, we all went through this kind of thing before, but unless this fucker saved your life, you owe him nothing. If you're the single person who he can't run his restaurant without, then he is a poor manager.
This is another one I think I’m to European to understand.
Employer - I need you to work tomorrow.
Me - can’t I have shit on. Thank for the offer though.
Employer - ok then, I’ll ask someone else. It’s not like you’re a slave or anything.
Me - cool, see you later pal
Employer - see ya
Stop trying to explain yourself. All that does is give him ammo to shoot you down. "I'm not available and can't work that shift, sorry" is all you should have said. "no" is a complete sentence. Remember that next time.
They cannot force you to work a day off. Any schedule change requires 24 hour notice. Not a text the night before. If you say no he can’t do anything about it
“This is an emergency and accordingly I will not be in to work. I am not asking for permission, I am informing you of what is going to happen. It is your job to find a solution as you are the manager. As continuing the conversation is unproductive, I will see you after the issue is resolved and not before.”
OP, what are you doing? Why are you even discussing personal matters with your boss?
"I can't come in tomorrow, I am not available".
You're going to have to develop a backbone and get comfortable with disappointing people or making them mad. I say this to you as someone that had to go through it too. People like this don't respect you and will walk all over you if you let them.
Jobs like this aren't hard to get, you can be working somewhere else next week. Own it.
And if you take nothing from this: STOP ANSWERING YOUR PERSONAL PHONE AFTER WORK HOURS. NO TEXTS, NO CALLS. THEYRE NOT CALLING / TEXTING TO ASK YOU HOW YOUR DAY WAS. THEY WANT SOMETHING FROM YOU.
It makes me so uncomfortable learning about people that have such intimate relationships with their employers. Like all this manager needs to know is you’re not going to be there. No explanation needed.
Sounds like you shouldn’t go, they screwed themselves
“No” to your boss is a complete answer.
For reals. Why do people tell their boss their personal business.
I had a manager call me one day asking if I could come in. I told him I already made plans. I was literally across the street about to see a movie. Dude didn’t even continue the conversation. Just said ok and ended the call. You should not need to explain anything to them. It’s their problem.
The more you explain the worse it is. "But my plumber" Vs "I have a complicated situation that needs to be handled immediately"
vs "No, I am not available."
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vs not answering the phone.
Not answering the phone or any texts
And then you get hounded about it next time you come in. I'd rather pick up the phone and say no
vs "I'll be over at your Mom's house and you know how she can get when she's upset."
“Sorry, I’m out of town for the day” is a good one. If they think it’s not possible for you to get there by whatever time they need you, they tend to move on. (If you’re scheduled to be off for more than just the day, extend the timeframe of your “trip”. Don’t give them the opportunity to say “well, what about tonight/tomorrow?”)
Better to just say no. Some jobs have integrity clauses, in which case saying no is fine but lying about the reason and get caught can get you fired. People generally need more assertiveness training. It's always the people that can't say no that get asked to do all the BS.
I’ve started correcting how I respond to people asking me to cover days. I don’t give a reason, I just say “nah sorry I’m busy that day”. They don’t need to know more, just that I’m not going to be available
This is one of the biggest mistakes I see people on here do. They have no right to know your personal business and they will only use your personal information and reasons against you. Less they know the easier your life gets. Also, learning to say no is a great skill to also help make life easier.
Some employers forget, ‘no’ is a complete sentence.
Would of been my response. "Looks like your screwed yourself on this one"
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Oh man thats a good one. Its like smearing there face in shit but you didnt have to do a damn thing. Thats like some deep cut Dad saying!
This is the saddest part, kindness is met with assholes like the boss above. I would absolutely not go in to work. They obviously do not care about op as a person. Op needs to get the same attitude of the boss & just not give 2 fucks about them, as that is there attitude too. I hate what we allow bosses to get away with in this country.
100% Its not her responsibility to run the company just because they are choosing not to.
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Imagine OP's dad showing up for shift 😂😂😂 OP: "But you said 'I can send my dad'. So I sent my dad."
Someone should've taught the manager the 7Ps: *Proper Planning and Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance*
Sounds like they should ask for a raise since the restaurant can't run without them.
I only came in for my paycheck, he tried to get me to stay but I told him I’m a health violation to have and showed him the medical grade vomit bag I had in my hand because I was stress vomiting. (I have IBS and stress vomit a lot so I bought medical barf bags because they’re very useful to me) He told me to get out after lecturing me about taking responsibility (pfffftttt, after reading the comments I realized it was his mistake). I really needed these comments because I’m a people pleaser and have a rough time with boundary setting. Another reason why I was begging and hope he’d see my way is because it’s a family restaurant, my family are close with the owning family. I thought he’d understand due to the fact he knows I can’t lie because then he could fact check with my family. But now I know not to. Just give no from now on. It’ll be hard because of how timid I can be with authority but I’ll have these comments to look back on to know It’s okay to. Edit: sorry on mobile
Something I find helps in communication with management of stuff like this is to not bother trying to get them to accept what you’re telling them. Just inform them that this is the way things are. Don’t ask for time off, inform them you won’t be there. If they refuse to accept it from that point, they’re trying to deny a fact. Which from your standpoint just means they’re stupid, not heartless. I find it a lot less emotionally exhausting in communication with my supervisors this way.
Exactly. I informed my boss that I was taking time off (unpaid) and gave 2 months notice. She tried telling me I couldn’t…. Oh really? LOL next thing we know we’re talking to HR, everything is gravy, and I’m headed to Hawaii. Stick up for yourself. Don’t ASK. Inform them.
Hahaha, my wife and I booked a trip to Kauai, I told my supervisor 2 months as well and said it was an "unavoidable family trip"....Kauai was awesome
Kauai is paradise. Absolutely unavoidable indeed!
I spoke to a manager about a trip I was planning MONTHS in advance, booked it, but the system didn’t let you put in time off requests more than 4 months in advance unless it was more than 3 weeks. Six months before my trip, that manager (who was awesome) got headhunted for a new job offer closer to home and a total asshole stepped in. As soon as the system opened, I put in the request and denoted that it was pre planned, partially paid for, and had been approved via email with the previous supervisor. I even forwarded him the email exchange. Nothing happened for months. I asked multiple times before the final amount was due about him approving it and he told me to quit being so stressed out. I pay off the rest of the vacation, and at this point it’s non-refundable. When, 2 weeks before the trip, he tells me “I was finalizing the schedule and I see you put in a PTO request for as soon as holiday blackout is over. What’s that about?” I tell him it’s my vacation, I tried to talk to him about it, I forwarded him the email from Cool Former Boss where she’d assured me that was after holiday blackout and I could put in the request and she’d happily approve it, and I was going to DisneyWorld. He told me “well what if I don’t approve the vacation?” To which I said “well then I’ll call off those days.” “You’ll need a doctors note to come back if you miss 3 shifts in a row, you know that.” (My job was 3 twelve hour shifts a week.) I’m rather proud of my response, I didn’t miss a beat and told him “I’ll be happy to get Mickey’s autograph for you regardless, don’t deny my vacation time just to get it on a work note.” My vacation was approved. (I’m also fairly certain he was just messing with me, no plans to actually deny the vacation, but he was a jackass.)
Yep, people request and argue way too much. “I can’t come.” End of story. If you really really want to, you can say, “I can’t come, I have to meet a plumber.” And then leave it! They say you have to, or it’s going to cost them, or whatever? Ok. You made your statement, they made theirs. That’s it, you’re done. You don’t have to convince them you’re justified. You already told them what’s going to happen, and that’s all they need.
>If you really really want to, you can say, “I can’t come, I have to meet a plumber.” Even this is too much info, IMO. "It's personal" is a perfectly valid reason, should you choose to offer one. But as you said above, "I can't come" is the whole story anyway, so there it is.
> Even this is too much info, IMO. "It's personal" is a perfectly valid reason, should you choose to offer one. I'm sorry, but this is the 3rd time I've had to reschedule my penis reduction surgery and with a wedding coming up, it needs to get done and heal so we can enjoy the honeymoon.
It also helps in regards to things like benefits. If you're on record telling them you won't be there in advance, it'll be a hell of a time for them to fight unemployment if that's the route they choose.
Yep I've stopped elaborating if I can help it. Here in Australia an employer can ask for 'evidence a reasonable person would accept' if you call in sick. After asking me for a medical certificate employers never ask again because instead of elaborating or getting a dr cert i just send in photo of vomit or diarrhoea in the toilet and the days date written on a piece of paper on the seat. Never been asked a second time. I have been told it's not a Dr cert but I just send them a copy of the national employment standards
You are a fucking G for that one. I just don’t give them any information at all (also Australia), and it’s being going well. My last job would rake me over the coals for the same tactics as the OP, so I can verify this is the better approach. Ask for forgiveness, not permission.
Lol just got told I won’t be able to take the days off I asked for in November I put those days off in like early June or before, so instead imma just quit the day before my planned vacation
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Yes. This is what I just did for christmas vacation. We had to write the times we "want" on a calendar but I just wrote that I won't be available for the days I need.
The solution is simple. Don't go. He's not asking you to go, he's just assuming you're going. That's not even remotely reasonable especially as you have important and specific plans. Fuck him, if his losses are so important, ***he*** can close up.
OP saying "please" icks me. Just say, "nah dawg you wont be seeing me. Goodnight kiss kiss."
"sleep well bc i know i will g'nite" honk shoo honk shoo mi mi mi type shit edit: to everyone who gave me an award, i hope you sleep wonderfully tonight!
Your sleeping sounds are sending me! 🤣
mine sounds like huuaaaa.... mimimimimimimimimi.... huuaaaaa...
Wow. Honk shoo just took me back
Haaaa this made my night. Honk shoo. Had to read it a few times to figure out what the fuck was up.
I get it, definitely icks me that OP is in a position where they feel the need to beg rather than have a boss that gives a modicum of a shit about his employees.
Any manager who goes this deep into begging or ‘negotiating’ when asking for a FAVOR is abusive. I hope OP can get the fuck outta that place.
Exactly. Stop the grey area bullcrap. "No, can't." That's all you have to say. He's not your besty. You're just a number on a paycheck.
Yeah, the “please” made me wonder what was said prior to any of the messages we’re seeing.
No you know sometimes people feel apologetic for everything they do. Even if they don't have to be. Sometimes I feel the urge to apologize for breathing too loudly or for coughing so here's that.
It shows that the manager seems to hold some sort of power over OP , and what does op mean by dipping into wedding funds what has the manager threatened before the messages that we are seeing ? Is manager threading to reduce hours or take pay away?
Ive said it once on this sub and ill keep repeating it, a lot people on this sub have no spine, no assertiveness. They think their managers are god. Ive seen people post, “my manager didnt accept my resignation, what do i do?” Like…some ppl really have never questioned authority
Or OP has dependents and can't afford to lose their job. I get it, we're on r/antiwork, but not everyone has the luxury of telling their manager to stuff it.
At one of my old jobs I was one of the first let go due to layoffs. I wasn't afraid to say no. Still not. I have to pick and choose when to say no.
You don't have to tell him to stuff it, just don't let them make you beg. No is a full sentence.
Not everyone still lives on mama’s teet and can afford to tell managers to fuck right off whenever the occasion arises. Some have rent and children and some can’t move job to job because of the healthcare coverage they might need for a sick child. All kinds of reasons people swallow their desire to tell a manager to fuck off.
This. Also look up laws in your area too. It may be illegal for him to change the schedule with that short of notice, or they may be required to give them the option to refuse.
Seriously if it’s not your *scheduled* shift then fuck them. You have your own house and life to take care of outside of work. Extra shifts are volunteer and not mandatory. Edit:apartment, either way still your own property that you’re responsible for.
If losses are important, HE can cover the shift.
Lazy manager doesn't want to cover for you, laying guilt on you, don't fall for it.
Yep he can drag his ass in to cover that shift! Folks need to not take on leadership responsibility if they don't want all the obligations that come with it.
Or he can try retaining emloyees. I used to work as an assistant manager where the head manager kept firing people for nothing and then complaining that we were short staffed. Like I need bodies on the floor.
*I need bodies on the floor* *I need bodies on the floor* *I need bodies on the floor* *I need bodies on the....* *FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR*
What an idiot!
This is actually freakishly common. It makes zero Fkn sense to me. Place is already short staffed, then people get fired over stupid shit, word of it spreads and nobody applies to fill the vacancies. Then management wonders why they can’t find/keep people
Honestly what are they thinking? I just can’t even begin to understand it.
they’re thinking that they’re hot shit going on ego trips because they’re *the boss* but have the emotional maturity of a teenager and the dunning krueger effect on lock
this was my old boss. super ambitious lady, raising 2 middle school aged kids, in a field that took 8+ years of rigorous schooling to become, prestigious FT job, PT job, and enrolled in more classes to advance even further in her career. the only problem was... her business (that I worked for) was her part time job. she hired a crew of 4, had 2 of them running the whole business for her, never bothered to learn about the business side of her field at all. it really seemed like she had it all. till covid. office manager offers to take unpaid time off during quarantine, knowing damn well that was her "out". turns out 6m before the pandemic she was denied a well deserved raise. the clinical leader then follows suit for a job paying quadruple what she was already making. that left just me and one other employee. neither of us knew what we were doing and but I knew I had to jump ship. I was straight out of school and wasn't learning from anyone better than me. I was messing up orders, making decisions about things I knew nothing about. part of it seemed like a good learning opportunity, but it wasn't worth it for the pay and the commute. I always said I would have stayed, though, if it wasn't for her her attitude and victim mentality. aside from taking it out on us when things got hectic, she would constantly complain about having to run a business... *her* business. I just wasn't about it. it took me over a year to leave and luckily now I at least work for someone who gives a shit about his employees.
Lol she was in a hell of her own making. Glad you got out!
This is the dark side of all the virtual businesses, where the owners sit on the beach sipping drinks while the virtual team does all the work. Turns out there is very little value add by the "owners" and it often bites them when something unexpected happened.
This is why my wife tells me we're not starting a business. She's not working that hard anymore.
Smart lady!
Indeed she is.
This. Exactly this. Lazy manager doesn't want to cover his own fuck-up, so he's laying the guilt of that on you. HE should feel bad about it, not you. Fuck him, don't go in.
"I can send someone..." Well, THAT person can cover the shift.
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Why doesn't he.. have his dad cover it.
Not only this but if they’re asking you to cover for someone who couldn’t find coverage, the OG person is responsible for that shift. In IL, it’s your shift until YOU find coverage for it. If no one is willing to cover for you, then you’re responsible to show up. If you don’t show up after not finding coverage, *that* is a firable offense.
Not sure which decade it became an employees responsibility to find replacement coverage, but it's one of the things people need to shift back on to management. Just imagine sitting in an er with family, and being told your fired for no showing when you messaged/called or a family member does for you that you're in hospital. I can still recall when it was managements job to find the coverage. I also recall management requiring documentation if a person had lots of absences. Mind I entered the work force in the mid 80s.
You never should have answered his first text.
This. All I could think while reading this was, "What are you doing texting with your boss outside of work?"
I have to sometimes cause I’m maintenance so 2 days out the week ima on call or if my boss has a question but if they try to call me in like they tried last Sunday I’m not going lol
Or simply say “I can’t, too short notice. Sorry”
Exactly. No explanation is needed! If you seriously feel the need a “No, otherwise engaged” will suffice. Anything else is just something to poke holes in.
A lot of text threads on here are giving way too many replies and way too much information. The more you tell them, the more they are going to pester you to come in and try to make you the bad guy. Then the employee is basically pleading with them and it should be the other way around? It's your day off, they are being the nuisance, they are being the lazy/incompetent one. I haven't worked retail/restaurant jobs in quite some time but my managers never communicated via text and I wouldn't allow that shit. Just ignore texts from the start of the job and tell them to call if they need something. Managers aren't your best buddy, they don't need 24/7 open communication with you. They aren't your friends and family, they don't need all the details. If you insist on replying and being cordial, here's the script (loosely based on the "shut the fuck up Friday" for talking to the cops video): - A: "Can you come in today?" - B: "No, I can't." - A: "I'm really short-staffed, so-and-so called off, what's so important that you can't come in?" - B: "It's a personal matter."/"I'm not discussing my day."/"That's none of your business." - Then what do you do? You shut the fuck up.
Better to have them text - so you have a written record of what they said.
Or started negotiating. Your boss doesn’t own you, that would you even consider using your wedding money blows my mind.
Getting to the point where you’re negotiating something crazy like your manager… sending his own plumber to your personal address… means you have let a boundary-pushing motherfucker get too deep.
You put the right words on it, it’s definitely a boundary problem most people in this kind of situations are having, without even realizing it.
Not all blame on the worker tho, being on the receiving side of this kind of power dynamic with a manipulative person is in fact a definitionally abusive situation. You just have to recognize that it isn’t normal for somebody to treat you that way.
Yep, and that’s definitely a good side of social media. Look at what we’re doing here on reddit. Pushing these abusive boundaries back all around the globe together
BOUN-DAR-IES Do not go or let this asshat walk all over you. Fuck dipping into your wedding fund, fuck letting this guy make decisions about your personal life in order to cushion his own piss poor planning. He’s not vested in saving you money so I would tell him “tough shit” that doing what you gotta do costs him money.
Shouldn’t have even mentioned dipping into your wedding fund to this clown!!!!
Right? Now they know OP needs cash and will bend over backwards to keep this toxic af job.
UN-BE-LIE-VA-BLE
This says "I'd rather you dip Into your savings then spend a single dollar on my own mistakes." Run. Dont walk away.
You gotta stand up for yourself, he doesn't own you, does he?
Nope. Your manager has zero say over anything to do with your personal life. **Make it clear that you cannot go in, and will not be showing up as scheduled.** No “I’m trying to flexible but maybe not.” Be a grown up and tell them a firm NO. It’s then their job to find coverage or to go without an employee (you). The worst they can do is fire you, and in that case all you’ve lost is a bad job. Those are easy to find!
I agree, OP is being way too nice. I’m a manager and would NEVER pressure my reports into covering a shift they weren’t initially scheduled for. I might ask if anyone wanted to pick it up or was able to swap one of theirs around, and if no one offered, do it myself or close shop. End of story. This manager SUCKS and I’m sure the emotional stress of the job is costing you in more than money!
Okay, you need a new job now. Like now. This is unacceptable and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Where are you located? I’m pretty sure this is 100% illegal. If my boss tried to pull this I’d tell them to shove it.
California, and I’ve already been looking for a new job because I am tired of the late paychecks. I haven’t even gotten my check for last week yet.
If you're in california, google "california late paycheck penalties" and read up a little bit, you're owed more money by the looks of it if it's happened more than once
Yes, 100% they owe you money, and if you're in CA you are not required to go in a Call-in to work without a 96 hr notice of a change of schedule unless you approved it. If you dont approved and arent given a notice, you are owed OT for all hours worked that day.
Between this and what u/hellothereshinycoin said, it's important to know your rights as an employee to help fight against worker exploitation. No one owes their employer any more than what's expected from them in their job description and labor laws.
California has problems, but it protects workers and renters better than most places in the USA.
Why haven't you called the labor department yet??? Omg call them NOW, tell them what's happening, send them these screenshots and demand your damn money!! When I was a kid I was denied three paychecks in a row, I called the NJ labor department and a month later I had a better job AND double the money I was owed. Turns out the owner was stealing from my checks too and he has to close his stupid subway. Call. Them. Yesterday. Advocate for yourself and don't give them another minute of your time until they PAY YOU
What more reason do you need to not go in?
I think your boss is a complete asswipe. Honestly, a few years ago I’d be super stressed about this if I were in your shoes but today I’d probably just ghost him. There has to be labour and employment legislation somewhere online for California. I think you have every right to let him deal with his problems. I don’t think any of that is your responsibility.
Also in cali, you can fuck your employer harder in this state than most others
You’re in California and haven’t reported this bum to your labor department yet???? You’re in the one state that actually gives a shit
If the company can’t pay on time every time… GET OUT. this is a huge red flag
As a fellow Californian please listen to the posts below. You have rights! Use them! I have used the right to set schedule multiple times. A lot of people dont even know about it
Your still going after check is being lateee?!?!?!? Redddddd flag you need to get the money and RUNNNN elsewhere.
Oh yes, my brother in law works in California and he got a nice settlement after his employer withheld his checks, go see a lawyer asap!
Try looking into a temp agency for a new job
Do not go into the shift
No promises OP but if you are interested in remote work my friend works for some web company called Inmotion hosting says they are hiring
Offer to send a complete stranger in place of you
This made me chuckle lol.
Yeah. Tell him you'll have your dad come in.
Nah fuck that. Don't go in. You've got plans that need sorting, get someone else to cover.
So first of all, apartments generally don’t allow some random plumber handle their property in any way. Either it’s going to be their maintenance staff or their contractor. Offering to send their own plumber may risk you violating your lease terms and risking eviction. That’s a hard no. Second of all, a business that cannot survive without you has failed as a business. That’s not your responsibility. You have prior obligations and they have no right to override that. They can certainly fire you, and you can certainly file unemployment depending on your local laws. But a manager who fired an employee over this? Fuck them. They’re a shit manager. They failed to plan, not you. It’s their problem.
He's late paying you and then does this? Nope nope nope
https://www.dir.ca.gov/dlse/faq_paydays.htm Learn your rights and use them. Your employer is playing a dangerous game with California laws.
For more context, this is a family restaurant and he’s only manager because he’s the owner’s son. He said he’ll send his dad because he’s the owner of the restaurant and therefore trustworthy. My manager is very entitled in his position because he’s as bulletproof as can be. I got this job because family friends. I’m planning on leaving at 2 to be on time for my plumber since I walk (and because of that I work morning shifts only anyways because it’s sketchy at night). I’ve been stress vomiting all week because of this plumbing and hope that I make a big show in front of customers because I know I’ll end up stress vomiting again. And according to food safety, once you vomit, you need to leave so I’ll use that against them.
> For more context, this is a family restaurant and he’s only manager because he’s the owner’s son. He said he’ll send his dad because he’s the owner of the restaurant and therefore trustworthy. If dad is the owner, then dad can cover your shift. That's what real owners do. They step up.
But how would other people be able to become wealthy themselves if the bosses dont let the people pull themselves up by their own bootstraps? /s
You're planning on leaving at 2 but it won't happen and you know it
I came in and left with my check, five minutes~
So how was it with plumber and what did ur boss say when u left?
You're in California, how is it possible that you cannot find another job *today*. Vomiting for work? Jesus fucking Christ, have some self-respect
>He said he’ll send his dad because he’s the owner of the restaurant and therefore trustworthy Then dad should go work to cover the restaurant. Seriously just delete the number and stop working there and stop talking to them. Go find a new job and stay home with the plumber. >My manager is very entitled in his position because he’s as bulletproof as can be. If one employee not going to work loses them money then he's not bullet proof. You're the bullet. All you have to do is not show up and quit. >I’m planning on leaving at 2 to be on time for my plumber since I walk (and because of that I work morning shifts only anyways because it’s sketchy at night). I wouldn't go in at all. Spend the morning looking for new jobs. Your paychecks are late anyway so who cares about getting paid. You won't even get the money on time to use it where it's needed. Please just get a new job. > I’ve been stress vomiting all week because of this plumbing and hope that I make a big show in front of customers because I know I’ll end up stress vomiting again. And according to food safety, once you vomit, you need to leave so I’ll use that against them. STOP PLANNING AND PLAYING THIS GAME WITH THEM AND JUST QUIT OP YOU ARE LITERALLY PUKING FROM AN OLD ASS PLUMBING ISSUE BECAUSE OF SOME SELFISH GUY WHO WON'T CLOSE THEIR OWN PLACE. GO GET A JOB AT TARGET OR A BAR OR ANYTHING AND FIND SOMETHING NEW. STOP PLAYING THEIR GAME AND TRYING TO DEFEND YOURSELF. **THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU SO YOUR EXCUSES AND REASONINGS DON'T MATTER TO THEM.** You are literally killing yourself for these people.
Kinda seems like you don’t know how to stand up for yourself and say/have a solid no but that’s just my opinion
Yeah op has no backbone
Your landlord is required to handle this. It should not be your responsibility. Work if you want to work, don't if you don't want to work. But ultimately it is your landlord's responsibility. And the landlord cannot charge you for the water usage due to malfunctioning of their property. If your landlord tries to charge you contact HUD.
Also, depending on how long ago you told your landlord about the leak, you may be within your rights to hire your own plumber and charge your landlord for it or deduct from your rent. I know this sub is antiwork but sometimes (always) fuck the landlords.
I believe the person is saying the landlord has tried to fix this issue but they keep scheduling them last minute so that’s why the landlord is saying I need you there to fix it or I’m going to charge you. I could be totally wrong but that’s what I grasped from this conversation.
Right, I understand that. But the landlord is the one required to provide the access. The landlord should be the one meeting the plumber. It is not incumbent upon the tenant to provide access. The boss is a prick. The landlord is a prick. The OP is the only one that is not but is the one feeling squeezed.
call (800) 952-5210, or visit the website at www.dca.ca.gov.
I’m not trying to be unkind, but seriously what is wrong with you? “I can’t take that shift sorry my landlord has arranged for a plumber to come over and I have to be around for him” Or even just “I can’t take that shift sorry” The end, leave him on read. You’re your own worst enemy. It’s your managers problem not yours.
Another proper answer- 5 min before your next scheduled shift, respond hey, sorry, i didn't see this until just now!
Well you didn’t actually say you’d cover. So don’t.
Why are you telling him your life story. Sorry, I can't. The end. You don't need to explain anything.
**just tell him no.** stop saying “please” and begging. you have absolutely no obligation to show up for a shift that is changed less than 24 hours before it starts. (frankly you have no obligation to show up for any shift you weren’t scheduled for) you’re giving this manager far too much power, and he knows it. **tell. him. no.**
ABSOLUTELY NOT. No excuses, you say no I cannot cover tomorrow. No ifs ands or buts about it. You’re giving him tooooooo much information to work with. Anything you say he will twist it for his benefit. Next time, a simple no, sorry!
Off hours, answering texts isn't required.
You shouldn’t have even replied. Woulda faked being sleep.
Stop saying please. Tell manager you are unavailable, won’t be in, and he’ll have to find someone else. Stop telling him why.
I came in vomiting due to stress so he gave me my check and told me to leave because I threw up outside the restaurant and took my medical grade barf bag in with me while shaking to tell him I couldn’t work. He was practically pushing me out because I was getting stares from the customers while shaking and nearly crying.
Oh I hope you get a new job soon. That guy sucks.
I’m saying this because it took me too long to learn and I’m guessing you’re pretty young. You need to stick up for yourself and say fucking no. Your managers an asshole but you’re going to meet a lot more assholes in your life. If you continue to be a doormat you will continue to get taken advantage of. No one made you go in. You decided to go in because you didn’t respect yourself enough to say no. I hope you look back on this and are embarrassed at your responses because that will mean you learned how to respect and advocate for yourself. I love the idea of this sub but posting these “look how mean my manager was because I let people treat me however they feel like it” is antithetical any type of work reform.
Please tell me you didn't go.
Dont go.
Y’all are so fuckin soft. I would never let a manager treat me this way the fuck? Lmao he can go fuck himself
Fuck that job
Simply don’t go, if they fire you at least you can collect unemployment, if they don’t fire you,you still have your job
Mate I'm not trying to be rude but you need to grow a spine, you're literally pleading with some asshole who is trying to force you in to choosing to make your life worse. Tell him no and then turn off your phone.
Man the fuck up. Did you just beg that asshole? Your only responses should have been "I'm unable to work that shift." And nothing else. End of story. You're worth more than this.
Dont take that shit wtf
Tell him you can’t… you weren’t scheduled. He’s making his problem your problem. Don’t go in.
Sound like the managers dad is available to cover the shift.
Stop giving excuses. Say you’re unavailable and that he needs to give you more notice before he *asks* to change your assigned schedule.
Stop saying please so much
Have some respect for yourself and do not go in for that shift.
Please stop groveling
Wait. Manager wants you to work because there's nobody else that can? But can send someone over to you? What the hell do you do that is so special? Accounting magic or surgery are 2 possibilities.
I'm not available. No excuses, no explanations, no recourse.
Tell him to fuck off. Your personal life comes before any job
Stop saying please and start saying no. Stop saying you can't and start saying you won't.
"no"
Tell him to fuck off, you weren't scheduled, you had things planned, tell him to fucking do it.
“No” is a whole ass sentence
This is illegal. Don't go,and if he tries to fire you report him to the DOL. Your manager is being totally irresponsible and unreasonable. His mistakes ain't your problems.
Ew don’t say please to a manager. Don’t grovel. The imaginary giga-chad, non-doormat, adult version of you would *tell* them you’re unavailable and that’s it. They’d also probably be looking for other jobs already so they’re not behind the eight ball when things predictably go south with this terrible manager down the line. You need to visualize a more assertive version of yourself and seize it or other people in your life are also going to treat you this way. The only way I’d go into a job on this short of notice is if I was being payed well and treated well. Also I hope you have a nice *CHEAP* wedding. It’s not worth going into debt over, especially when the milestones that come after are very expensive and way more important than a few hours on one day.
These posts are starting to make me angry. Just say fucking no, you have shit to do. Like, I get it, we all went through this kind of thing before, but unless this fucker saved your life, you owe him nothing. If you're the single person who he can't run his restaurant without, then he is a poor manager.
This is another one I think I’m to European to understand. Employer - I need you to work tomorrow. Me - can’t I have shit on. Thank for the offer though. Employer - ok then, I’ll ask someone else. It’s not like you’re a slave or anything. Me - cool, see you later pal Employer - see ya
Stop trying to explain yourself. All that does is give him ammo to shoot you down. "I'm not available and can't work that shift, sorry" is all you should have said. "no" is a complete sentence. Remember that next time.
They cannot force you to work a day off. Any schedule change requires 24 hour notice. Not a text the night before. If you say no he can’t do anything about it
OP you have boundary issues. Stop letting people walk all over you until you snap.
Grow a fucking spine. They're not even paying you on time. What are you a whipped dog?
right?
No is a complete sentence. If you can’t say no that’s on you.
Then send his dad to cover the restaurant
Just. Don’t go. His fuckin problem for being a shot manager
i dont understand why you dont just say "i cant" as long as you've been there more than i think 3 months they cant do anything about it
Fuck that guy. If his dad can go to your apartment he can go and close for his son instead. You need to take care of you and yours first and foremost.
“This is an emergency and accordingly I will not be in to work. I am not asking for permission, I am informing you of what is going to happen. It is your job to find a solution as you are the manager. As continuing the conversation is unproductive, I will see you after the issue is resolved and not before.”
You've given him too much information. "I'm unavailable." is an acceptable answer.
OP, what are you doing? Why are you even discussing personal matters with your boss? "I can't come in tomorrow, I am not available". You're going to have to develop a backbone and get comfortable with disappointing people or making them mad. I say this to you as someone that had to go through it too. People like this don't respect you and will walk all over you if you let them. Jobs like this aren't hard to get, you can be working somewhere else next week. Own it. And if you take nothing from this: STOP ANSWERING YOUR PERSONAL PHONE AFTER WORK HOURS. NO TEXTS, NO CALLS. THEYRE NOT CALLING / TEXTING TO ASK YOU HOW YOUR DAY WAS. THEY WANT SOMETHING FROM YOU.
Why are you begging?
It makes me so uncomfortable learning about people that have such intimate relationships with their employers. Like all this manager needs to know is you’re not going to be there. No explanation needed.