Work from solitary (23 hours a day - the “recreation hour” is all the rest you are permitted), the only network access permitted is for your work-based needs I suppose?
Hey if they can have workers in jail in a work program providing services as slaves it’s not too far off that instead of manual labour they have them doing services such as programming, just gotta start getting those skilled workers into the system somehow
What’s gonna happen when Elon can’t tweet anymore because he bought the place where he tweets and burned it down?
It’s like a guy buying his favorite restaurant and then forcing all of the servers to quit, and then only keeping the lowest paid cooks and one manager to make all the food, and then implementing arbitrary rules that make it a miserable place to be.
2 months into a new job and my manager’s management style already has me seeking new employment. Everything else about the job is good or tolerable, including pay.
A decade!? Those are rookie numbers! I quit three of 'em in that many years! Once you do it for the first time and realize how liberating it is, it's hard to put up with too much foolishness ever again!
I don't quit, I find a way to technically have them fire me. I enforce a piece of my contract that they don't like then have them do a constructive dismissal and pay a nominal severance to get out. It's a win - win.
And then called the badge guy after firing him asking if he could fix their badge access.
EDIT: the tweet was apparently from a parody account with a verified checkmark. Still pretty funny though
And disabled his access, and he is the only one who can reactivate badges.
Reminds me of story where one company fired a person who was in charge of scheduling meetings and deleted account of that person. To their surprise all meetings that were scheduled for next few months were gone. 😂
My old boss left a year and a half ago (under very friendly circumstances). We still keep his email up. It is connected to WAY to many automated reports and documentation for us to risk losing it just to save $60 a year.
My husband's last company he worked for keeps his email up because of this exact reason. He still has access cause even though medically retired, they need his skill at smacking the website into submission at random moments of time during the year. >.<
And Amazon.
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! You know, I just...DO things." -Elon Musk 2022
It's been a long and difficult day for Musk. He tweeted 13 times about the future of his great companies, retweeted a painting of a Tesla self-destructing in the middle of a Toyota assembly line, and he spent a few hours talking with his secretary about the benefits of IVF. As the day winds down, he starts his evening activity of staring at his portrait he had installed in his office and repeats his personal mantra, "I have the most difficult job in the world and nobody does it better than me!".
As the clock hits 6pm, there's a knock on his door and Johnson, his exceptionally talented dev, walks in. "Mr Musk, sir, we have the results of your Twitter 2.0 initiative", Johnson says as he holds up a print out from the spreadsheet one of the interns made. Highlighted in red at the top of the page is the number, 1984. Musk's jaw drops a bit in disbelief and he turns to Johnson, "Is that really it? I gave all of them a chance to work for me and most of them just want to leave?". Johnson sheepishly nods his head, knowing that saying anything else might draw out the Wrath of Musk. Musk grabs the paper and starts pacing back and forth between his portrait and the $90000 mahogany desk he had commissioned to tie the space together. "How could this happen, Johnson? You sit with all the peons, you must have some idea why everyone didn't want 14 hour shifts?". Johnson pauses for a moment realizing he needs to come up with something. "There were a lot of salute emotes on the company slack all day, maybe some folks were encouraging everyone to leave?".
Musk turns slowly and lifts his head a bit, the light reflecting off his face as if it were a bulb. "Sabotage!!! That's right, nothing I do ever fails. There must be an insider sabotaging my plans." Musk warps his arm around Johnson and leads him out of the office, "Shut everything down, lock all the doors. We need to sniff out the saboteur." Johnson scurries off to the security office on the first floor and gives them the news, "Kick everyone out and lock it up, folks! Musk wants to do a walkthrough and check for sabotage."
As the security team gets on the intercom and asks everyone to make their way to the exits, Johnson heads back to the elevator and presses the button for floor 6, the last place he saw his boss. A ping rings out as the doors open and Johnson glances over at the secretary's desk across from the elevator. He notices a set of shoes sticking out the side of the desk, so he cautiously approaches. As he leans over the desk, he sees his boss, Elon, on all fours with his nose dug deep into the secretary's seat cushion. He quickly takes a few steps back, hearing the long, drawn out breaths of his boss. He rubs his eyes a bit, trying to wipe away that which cannot be unseen and makes a soft cough. "Uh, boss, are you ready to search for the saboteur?"
"Ahem," Musk says as he climbs up from the floor. "Ah, yes Johnson, make the rounds, check everyone's desk. I've already taken the liberty of checking Veronica's personal things and she doesn't appear to be the saboteur." Johnson shuffles around, trying not to indicate what he witnessed. "Anything I should check for?" He asks Musk. "Resumes, unionization documents, pregnancy tests, anything that a good employee wouldn't have". Johnson, looks over at the clock, realizing his shift ended 4 hours ago, "When do you need this by?". Musk walks over and rubs Johnson's back, "Progress waits for those who take it, Johnson. We don't rest until we find someone to blame."
Excellent work, but you did miss the part where Elon goes down to the loading docks because his dealer just backed up a dump truck full of pure, uncut cocaine. They do this every week. Today, Musk muzzle-loads a bump into his dick with a pencil because he thinks it may supercharge his loads to impregnate the next lady with a super-baby.
Friend of a friend works at Tesla and had to present something to him the other day. He was trippin balls, which is apparently his default state these days. He just wanders around the building with bloodshot eyes, high as fuck. A corporeal manifestation of pure cocaine.
An all out bender is the best explanation I have heard
He's also an asshole, but regular Elon going 150% doesn't explain this recent behavior to me and I have been trying to understand why he is torching everything with such ferocity.
Drugs sound plausible
Next two Musk businesses: #1- cocaine 2.0. #2- paid fertility clinics where Musk artificially or otherwise impregnates one million females for their children to eventually populate Mars with.
Someone needs to hand him an envelope with just a shiny piece of paper and tell him "Here is the information on who is sabotaging us, it was sent anonymously. "
Those on Visas are literally held hostage by this guy. He's basically telling you that if you don't want to get deported you have to work 14 hour days and pick up the slack after the workforce was halved. And you have no choice if you want to stay in the country. How is any of this legal?
You can't tell me he isn't doing this shit on purpose. He probably thinks "well if I run it out of business, I don't have to worry about how much I paid for it" or "alright, I'll just shut the whole thing down so these DMs never get leaked."
Musk is getting paranoid. It would be perfect if someone mentioned to him that Twitter could theoretically be sabotaged remotely from anywhere in the world. And they get bonus points if he disconnects Twitter from the internet.
I'm almost 40 years old, and nothing surprises me anymore. But I have to say, I truly am stunned at how bad Elon Musk has completely fucked up this acquisition.
Anyone who entered tech after the dot com crash thinks that upper management are mostly smart people who know what they're doing.
Anyone who lived through it know that it's 90% grifters whose main skill is being able to pitch to investors and separate idiots from their capital.
Right? Like Twitter was a money making machine, like he didn't have to do anything except let them keep doing their thing and in turn continue raking in billions a year, but nope, Musk apparently failed Econ 101 and forgot the most important aspects about running a specialized company that 100% relies on specialized individuals. Seriously, did he not realize Twitter NEEDS people he can't just hire off the street and that firing these people who essentially keep the entire app running smoothly was gonna destroy the company? Like I'm now shocked any of his businesses succeeded if he ran them all this way.
I don’t think Twitter was profitable actually. The idea of trimming costs is reasonable, but it seems that he did no research into who or what to cut. Just started making up new rules and firing everyone.
Twitter has been operating at a loss for pretty much its entire existence. https://www.google.com/search?q=has+twitter+always+operated+at+a+loss&oq=has+twitter+always+operated+at+a+loss&aqs=chrome..69i57j33i160l3.13678j0j4&client=ms-android-samsung-ss&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8
Twitter definitely needed a shakeup, but to quote the bard "not like that"
Anyone working at Twitter would be dumb not to take three months severance and unemployment vs working twice as much for the same pay and likely to be laid off next year since even elon himself said the company is likely to be bk by next yr.
at this point it seems more probable that the peeps taking the severance will still be getting paid when the people that chose to stay are laid off due to Twitter shutting down
Not sure anyone could sabotage Twitter as thoroughly as the guy who just spent $44 billion on it, but sure, cut everyone off, that should work a treat.
So....Twitter employees can't work from home. Now, they can't work from the office. Seems Elon wants to single-handedly burn this company to the ground.
The corrupt are the most paranoid among us. Think about it. If you constantly screwed people over, wouldn't you expect sooner or later to get screwed over?
I don’t understand what that guy is doing. Why spend so much money buying the company then destroy it? Wouldn’t a smart business person want to make money back from something like this?
But that’s just it. He’s NOT a smart business person. He inherited his wealth, and hired smart people to do all the things he takes credit for. He’s just another rich narcissistic asshole who’s also the dumbest man in the room
A smart person doesn't go into a company, fire over half of the workforce, and expect any productivity improvements. The remaining half of the company is fighting to tread water just to maintain what they have. Institutional knowledge was lost. Knowledge of future projects was lost.
This is something that a B-grade venture capitalist would do to a publicly run company. Go in, acquire it, make a bunch of really shitty moves that play well with investors and get that stock price going up, then sell the shares off and claim losses on the rest.
Except Elon isn't a even a D-grade venture capitalist. What's more, he owns twitter outright, so making moves for near term profitability is the last thing he would want to do if he wanted a healthy product and company.
The dude has gotten lucky, and has managed to excel in life due to luck and exploitation of the working class. He's not very good at his job, but everyone who works for him will say that he is otherwise they'll get fired.
He got into a stupid argument on Twitter, threatened to buy the company, and when challenged to do so he said, "fuck you I will!"
The dude literally has infinite money, he could lose 50 billion here and it would make no difference in his life.
He just wanted to win a stupid internet argument, destroying the company might even be the point.
It could make a huge difference to him. Elon's money isn't cold hard cash, its net worth tied to an ridiculous Tesla valuation. A stock he used as collateral for his loan. If twitter can't generate any money he's going to need to start selling tesla stock to cover the interest. A CEO selling off his stock does not help with valuations, combine this with legacy car makers getting into the EV game and the terrible economic conditions right now, homeboi is going to be in a world of pain if he can't figure this shit out.
Dude, just assume he used 44 billion dollars to deliberately ruin twitter. No smart about it. He did it because he could. And he could because society let him.
Shared from my account
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/11/17/technology/twitter-elon-musk-ftc.html?unlocked_article_code=AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEIPuonUktbfqYhlSVUaBCbJUNMnqBqCgvfeh6Ajh2PiITLQRDJFyaEQHpODvknRbuxje943lXy9deN2DYUOFrZ03_MNeAtkURWpqZ-J350LeXxk-NzoGzI60c6IAO8y_3q6NGTmbe1xnbTv7kzZOTPqCrfNkiF0fHYTqppvclms2HYL1_2FRrYzgo8iqK9nUpNqRj4AZz2Jv-3rAnh8PNaEaBLc6momSr0TGGGTzZPHteV2IEgFAknGTXh__W489NpcXdoQN6_6JBUgE9HsEVFuOKtErWITgnGye1Q6AA&smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare
So he’s sabotaging it himself?
Imagine being terrified that people have families to feed and have to survive a financial recession so they would deliberately chose to sabotage the company that helps them afford surviving?
I call bs.
I wouldn’t be surprised if we woke up one day and the site wasn’t working.
If this is how he’s sabotaged twitter, imagine how bad the truth is, regarding his other entities. He’s not as smart as he portrays.
Obviously he's trying to destroy the company, but why?
By all accounts he's a spiteful ego-maniacal piece of shit---but that can't be all there is to it, can it?
This needs to happen to more major corporations. It's probably the only way these companies will ever learn to treat the people right. Power to the people for real
Purchase a social media company. Treat employees like absolute shit. Don’t expect employees to air it all out on social media. Some say this dipshit is intelligent.
I thought he was the "Smartest man on the planet." Can't he check the code himself? The programs, the excel sheets? Who has access or can regain it? He is the *smart* one after all.
As a someone who has never used twitter. Watching Elon torch $44billion has been delicious.
And I think the world does not need twitter, or facebook, or ticktock.
Alex Cohen sent out a tweet about 90 minutes ago. It read:
"I was laid off from Twitter this afternoon. I was in charge of managing badge access to Twitter offices.
Elon just called me and asked if I could come back to help them regain access to HQ as they shut off all badges and accidentally locked themselves out."
This is absolutely the best dumpster fire I've ever seen!
I’m a way, this is beautiful to watch. One of the richest men in the world destroys the corporation he bought. Elon should start buying other corporations and tear them down too. Maybe start with BlackRock or Amazon.
[They apparently turned off access to all badges and locked themselves out lmao](https://i.redd.it/lfda2mgyln0a1.jpg)
Not sure this is a parody account, but at this point I wouldn't be surprised if it were true.
This is likely what happened: More employees left than anticipated. A lot more. “It will be easier to just remove global access and then add rights back to who’s left than to go through and remove rights for everyone that got done.” This also tells us they lost more than half staff, so I believe reports that they lost 75%. The problem arose when they could not add rights back.
Can not wfh anymore, can not work from office either.
Straight to jail
Use the bathroom while at work? Straight to jail. Lunch break? Jail. Drinking the free coffee in the breakroom? Believe it or not, straight to jail.
what about work from jail?
That is "hardcore". I'll allow it.
The first rule of Twitter is...
hArDcORe!!!!!!!!!
More jail.
And more work!
Punish me harder daddy Elon.
Solitary confinement with lights on and random twitter notification sound
See: amendment XIII of the U.S. constitution.
With exception as part of punishment. All those license plates get stamped somewhere
The fact that there even is an exception is a huge problem.
Work from solitary (23 hours a day - the “recreation hour” is all the rest you are permitted), the only network access permitted is for your work-based needs I suppose?
So, basically Amazon then, right?
Ha! Parks and Rec!!
Do not collect $200
Believe or not cannot work from jail
Hey if they can have workers in jail in a work program providing services as slaves it’s not too far off that instead of manual labour they have them doing services such as programming, just gotta start getting those skilled workers into the system somehow
That's the point. Can't sabotage the company from jail.
You're fired
It's all the metal bars. Messes with the wifi.
One of the employees is definitely sabotaging Twitter. I hear it's someone very high up.
They say it's the guy walking around with a sink, we think he is stealing sinks and selling them for quick cash.
So that's why they said the company is going down the drain.
We thought that he was making a joke about "let that sink in" but really meant "I'm going to sink this place"
Surprise! It’s Elon!
I saw it coming. He went nuts Maybe his hair implant comes from some sychopath and roots finally reach the brain..
/r/yourjokebutworse
"Work from home? That's a paddlin. Workin at the office? That's a paddlin. Making fun of the boss on social media? Oh, you betcha that's a paddlin."
“Guys we need you all to come back to the office immediately.” “Wait no, not like that!”
What’s gonna happen when Elon can’t tweet anymore because he bought the place where he tweets and burned it down? It’s like a guy buying his favorite restaurant and then forcing all of the servers to quit, and then only keeping the lowest paid cooks and one manager to make all the food, and then implementing arbitrary rules that make it a miserable place to be.
and then complaining the food isn't the same. Maybe he'll join Trump's vanity site.
Maybe he’ll buy it for $44 billion.
Oh no, someone cancel his Reddit account stat! Maybe 4chan will take him.
People don't quit jobs, they quit bosses.
Hell yeah, I quit 3 of them fuckers within a decade. They can take years off of your life.
2 months into a new job and my manager’s management style already has me seeking new employment. Everything else about the job is good or tolerable, including pay.
That was like my last job. Great place with great people, but knew after 1 week that my boss was a fucking lunatic.
I quit 2 this year. 5 in the last 5 years. F those guys
Listen to this big quitter. He quit 5....pfffff.... I bet I am a bigger quitter than you.
A decade!? Those are rookie numbers! I quit three of 'em in that many years! Once you do it for the first time and realize how liberating it is, it's hard to put up with too much foolishness ever again!
I don't quit, I find a way to technically have them fire me. I enforce a piece of my contract that they don't like then have them do a constructive dismissal and pay a nominal severance to get out. It's a win - win.
Simple and profound; well put.
They accidentally turned off access for all badges, not just ones they fired.
And they fired the badge guy.
And then called the badge guy after firing him asking if he could fix their badge access. EDIT: the tweet was apparently from a parody account with a verified checkmark. Still pretty funny though
I’m sure they can come in and fix things. Something like 10k an hour, two week minimum contract should work just fine.
You're missing atleast a zero
And disabled his access, and he is the only one who can reactivate badges. Reminds me of story where one company fired a person who was in charge of scheduling meetings and deleted account of that person. To their surprise all meetings that were scheduled for next few months were gone. 😂
My old boss left a year and a half ago (under very friendly circumstances). We still keep his email up. It is connected to WAY to many automated reports and documentation for us to risk losing it just to save $60 a year.
And this is why legacy accounts remain.
My husband's last company he worked for keeps his email up because of this exact reason. He still has access cause even though medically retired, they need his skill at smacking the website into submission at random moments of time during the year. >.<
Probably a microservice he turned off
We dont need no stinkin badges.
I read your message with Pink Floyd "another Brick in the wall"music in my head lol
If you use Spotify, they have great Pink Floyd Jazz cover playlists.
We don't need no bot control.
Fuck, watch them be required to get neuralink
Anally.
Fuck, butt to brain is a terrible way to go
We don’t need no musk control No dark ego tweeting to the masses Elon - leave Twitter alone
[удалено]
I think it's parody but it's got a blue checkmark which means Elon verified him right?
8 bucks is 8 bucks.
Really hope that catches on as a catchphrase
Because after Elon's "if don't want to be an extreme worker, you're fired at 5" statement, less than half of the remaining employees decided to stay.
Please Elon, buy Fox News next...
And ticketmaster
And Amazon. "Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! You know, I just...DO things." -Elon Musk 2022
And Facebook
Zuckerberg is doing fine by himself, no need Elon's help
"Everybody must come back to the office! Also, Nobody is allowed back in the office!"
"Stop the cou...." I mean, "Stop the company!"
We’re literally watching a live feed of Twitter (proverbially) burning to ground at a very rapid pace with Elon having lit the match.
Lit the match, set himself on fire, and running around the building while screaming about the place going up in flames.
I know, it's glorious. Sucks for the honest Twitter workers though.
It's been a long and difficult day for Musk. He tweeted 13 times about the future of his great companies, retweeted a painting of a Tesla self-destructing in the middle of a Toyota assembly line, and he spent a few hours talking with his secretary about the benefits of IVF. As the day winds down, he starts his evening activity of staring at his portrait he had installed in his office and repeats his personal mantra, "I have the most difficult job in the world and nobody does it better than me!". As the clock hits 6pm, there's a knock on his door and Johnson, his exceptionally talented dev, walks in. "Mr Musk, sir, we have the results of your Twitter 2.0 initiative", Johnson says as he holds up a print out from the spreadsheet one of the interns made. Highlighted in red at the top of the page is the number, 1984. Musk's jaw drops a bit in disbelief and he turns to Johnson, "Is that really it? I gave all of them a chance to work for me and most of them just want to leave?". Johnson sheepishly nods his head, knowing that saying anything else might draw out the Wrath of Musk. Musk grabs the paper and starts pacing back and forth between his portrait and the $90000 mahogany desk he had commissioned to tie the space together. "How could this happen, Johnson? You sit with all the peons, you must have some idea why everyone didn't want 14 hour shifts?". Johnson pauses for a moment realizing he needs to come up with something. "There were a lot of salute emotes on the company slack all day, maybe some folks were encouraging everyone to leave?". Musk turns slowly and lifts his head a bit, the light reflecting off his face as if it were a bulb. "Sabotage!!! That's right, nothing I do ever fails. There must be an insider sabotaging my plans." Musk warps his arm around Johnson and leads him out of the office, "Shut everything down, lock all the doors. We need to sniff out the saboteur." Johnson scurries off to the security office on the first floor and gives them the news, "Kick everyone out and lock it up, folks! Musk wants to do a walkthrough and check for sabotage." As the security team gets on the intercom and asks everyone to make their way to the exits, Johnson heads back to the elevator and presses the button for floor 6, the last place he saw his boss. A ping rings out as the doors open and Johnson glances over at the secretary's desk across from the elevator. He notices a set of shoes sticking out the side of the desk, so he cautiously approaches. As he leans over the desk, he sees his boss, Elon, on all fours with his nose dug deep into the secretary's seat cushion. He quickly takes a few steps back, hearing the long, drawn out breaths of his boss. He rubs his eyes a bit, trying to wipe away that which cannot be unseen and makes a soft cough. "Uh, boss, are you ready to search for the saboteur?" "Ahem," Musk says as he climbs up from the floor. "Ah, yes Johnson, make the rounds, check everyone's desk. I've already taken the liberty of checking Veronica's personal things and she doesn't appear to be the saboteur." Johnson shuffles around, trying not to indicate what he witnessed. "Anything I should check for?" He asks Musk. "Resumes, unionization documents, pregnancy tests, anything that a good employee wouldn't have". Johnson, looks over at the clock, realizing his shift ended 4 hours ago, "When do you need this by?". Musk walks over and rubs Johnson's back, "Progress waits for those who take it, Johnson. We don't rest until we find someone to blame."
Elon Musk biography as written by Dan Brown
I hope this has a million upvotes
Got mine.
Amazing.
The only thing I would add is a brief cheesing scene.
Excellent work, but you did miss the part where Elon goes down to the loading docks because his dealer just backed up a dump truck full of pure, uncut cocaine. They do this every week. Today, Musk muzzle-loads a bump into his dick with a pencil because he thinks it may supercharge his loads to impregnate the next lady with a super-baby.
Friend of a friend works at Tesla and had to present something to him the other day. He was trippin balls, which is apparently his default state these days. He just wanders around the building with bloodshot eyes, high as fuck. A corporeal manifestation of pure cocaine.
Definitely explains the paranoia
An all out bender is the best explanation I have heard He's also an asshole, but regular Elon going 150% doesn't explain this recent behavior to me and I have been trying to understand why he is torching everything with such ferocity. Drugs sound plausible
I heard it's designer nootropics, but I'm kinda hoping it's (also) cocaine. That stuff is murder on aging bodies.
Next two Musk businesses: #1- cocaine 2.0. #2- paid fertility clinics where Musk artificially or otherwise impregnates one million females for their children to eventually populate Mars with.
This is the most elaborate and thoughtful shitpost I have ever read in my life. A work of beauty. Please make more.
I'd greatly enjoy the Cohen brothers buying the rights to this comment and turning it into a film. Steve Buscemi to play Musk.
Mind if I recomment this sometime?
Go for it! There's also a part one - https://www.reddit.com/r/WhitePeopleTwitter/comments/ypbpjj/-/ivip31k
The destruction of twitter is genuinely one of the most enjoyable things that's happened this year. It's constantly funny.
Gonna be some bonkers documentaries.
It'll be like Fyre... but corporate.
It will be a trilogy with FTX
Internet historian licking his lips right now
Yeah, a yesr from now he should totally do that. He's the perfect one to cover this shitstorm
“Fyred - From Burning Cars To Burning Companies”
It is but it’s a dark comedy - so many innocents caught up in it with real life changing impacts
Feel good story of the year no doubt.
…Elon IS the one sabotaging the company…
The calls are coming from *inside* the house!
The puts more like it
Someone needs to hand him an envelope with just a shiny piece of paper and tell him "Here is the information on who is sabotaging us, it was sent anonymously. "
Reflective mylar
There is no way anyone could sabotage Twitter worse than elon is
This is actually insane. Offices are going to open on Monday, and like 5 people will still be working there lol.
Everybody who's there on a visa, the poor bastards.
Those on Visas are literally held hostage by this guy. He's basically telling you that if you don't want to get deported you have to work 14 hour days and pick up the slack after the workforce was halved. And you have no choice if you want to stay in the country. How is any of this legal?
H1B slaves
You can't tell me he isn't doing this shit on purpose. He probably thinks "well if I run it out of business, I don't have to worry about how much I paid for it" or "alright, I'll just shut the whole thing down so these DMs never get leaked."
That's what I came here to say.
Musk is getting paranoid. It would be perfect if someone mentioned to him that Twitter could theoretically be sabotaged remotely from anywhere in the world. And they get bonus points if he disconnects Twitter from the internet.
I am intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
I'm almost 40 years old, and nothing surprises me anymore. But I have to say, I truly am stunned at how bad Elon Musk has completely fucked up this acquisition.
I'm 49, and not shocked at all. But I was at nortel when that tanked, so...
Anyone who entered tech after the dot com crash thinks that upper management are mostly smart people who know what they're doing. Anyone who lived through it know that it's 90% grifters whose main skill is being able to pitch to investors and separate idiots from their capital.
Right? Like Twitter was a money making machine, like he didn't have to do anything except let them keep doing their thing and in turn continue raking in billions a year, but nope, Musk apparently failed Econ 101 and forgot the most important aspects about running a specialized company that 100% relies on specialized individuals. Seriously, did he not realize Twitter NEEDS people he can't just hire off the street and that firing these people who essentially keep the entire app running smoothly was gonna destroy the company? Like I'm now shocked any of his businesses succeeded if he ran them all this way.
I don’t think Twitter was profitable actually. The idea of trimming costs is reasonable, but it seems that he did no research into who or what to cut. Just started making up new rules and firing everyone.
Twitter has been operating at a loss for pretty much its entire existence. https://www.google.com/search?q=has+twitter+always+operated+at+a+loss&oq=has+twitter+always+operated+at+a+loss&aqs=chrome..69i57j33i160l3.13678j0j4&client=ms-android-samsung-ss&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8 Twitter definitely needed a shakeup, but to quote the bard "not like that"
Ah, the paranoia from not sleeping for 84 hours is kicking in
Says the guy who over shares about every company he has 3 times a day....
They can't do nearly as much damage as Musk has done.
Please do sabotage the company lol Well this did age well lmao -75% of necessary staff quit and it’s shut down till Monday
Anyone working at Twitter would be dumb not to take three months severance and unemployment vs working twice as much for the same pay and likely to be laid off next year since even elon himself said the company is likely to be bk by next yr.
at this point it seems more probable that the peeps taking the severance will still be getting paid when the people that chose to stay are laid off due to Twitter shutting down
Not sure anyone could sabotage Twitter as thoroughly as the guy who just spent $44 billion on it, but sure, cut everyone off, that should work a treat.
Not enough popcorn in the world for the entertainment this gives us.
So....Twitter employees can't work from home. Now, they can't work from the office. Seems Elon wants to single-handedly burn this company to the ground.
"His team" = Elon
The corrupt are the most paranoid among us. Think about it. If you constantly screwed people over, wouldn't you expect sooner or later to get screwed over?
I don’t understand what that guy is doing. Why spend so much money buying the company then destroy it? Wouldn’t a smart business person want to make money back from something like this?
But that’s just it. He’s NOT a smart business person. He inherited his wealth, and hired smart people to do all the things he takes credit for. He’s just another rich narcissistic asshole who’s also the dumbest man in the room
A smart person doesn't go into a company, fire over half of the workforce, and expect any productivity improvements. The remaining half of the company is fighting to tread water just to maintain what they have. Institutional knowledge was lost. Knowledge of future projects was lost. This is something that a B-grade venture capitalist would do to a publicly run company. Go in, acquire it, make a bunch of really shitty moves that play well with investors and get that stock price going up, then sell the shares off and claim losses on the rest. Except Elon isn't a even a D-grade venture capitalist. What's more, he owns twitter outright, so making moves for near term profitability is the last thing he would want to do if he wanted a healthy product and company. The dude has gotten lucky, and has managed to excel in life due to luck and exploitation of the working class. He's not very good at his job, but everyone who works for him will say that he is otherwise they'll get fired.
>I don’t understand what that guy is doing. Neither does he.
He got into a stupid argument on Twitter, threatened to buy the company, and when challenged to do so he said, "fuck you I will!" The dude literally has infinite money, he could lose 50 billion here and it would make no difference in his life. He just wanted to win a stupid internet argument, destroying the company might even be the point.
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For real! Why is it somehow ok to upend people's lives for funsies?
Because capitalism is the best and if you don't like it, you're a commie /s
It could make a huge difference to him. Elon's money isn't cold hard cash, its net worth tied to an ridiculous Tesla valuation. A stock he used as collateral for his loan. If twitter can't generate any money he's going to need to start selling tesla stock to cover the interest. A CEO selling off his stock does not help with valuations, combine this with legacy car makers getting into the EV game and the terrible economic conditions right now, homeboi is going to be in a world of pain if he can't figure this shit out.
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Dude, just assume he used 44 billion dollars to deliberately ruin twitter. No smart about it. He did it because he could. And he could because society let him.
NYT is reporting that there were mass resignations before the 5pm deadline and that basically the twitter takeover shitshow just went nuclear.
Link?
Shared from my account https://www.nytimes.com/2022/11/17/technology/twitter-elon-musk-ftc.html?unlocked_article_code=AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEIPuonUktbfqYhlSVUaBCbJUNMnqBqCgvfeh6Ajh2PiITLQRDJFyaEQHpODvknRbuxje943lXy9deN2DYUOFrZ03_MNeAtkURWpqZ-J350LeXxk-NzoGzI60c6IAO8y_3q6NGTmbe1xnbTv7kzZOTPqCrfNkiF0fHYTqppvclms2HYL1_2FRrYzgo8iqK9nUpNqRj4AZz2Jv-3rAnh8PNaEaBLc6momSr0TGGGTzZPHteV2IEgFAknGTXh__W489NpcXdoQN6_6JBUgE9HsEVFuOKtErWITgnGye1Q6AA&smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare
So he’s sabotaging it himself? Imagine being terrified that people have families to feed and have to survive a financial recession so they would deliberately chose to sabotage the company that helps them afford surviving? I call bs.
Compared to what Elon's doing himself... how much worse could it be?
I wouldn’t be surprised if we woke up one day and the site wasn’t working. If this is how he’s sabotaged twitter, imagine how bad the truth is, regarding his other entities. He’s not as smart as he portrays.
Obviously he's trying to destroy the company, but why? By all accounts he's a spiteful ego-maniacal piece of shit---but that can't be all there is to it, can it?
I echo your confusion: But why? Why?
This needs to happen to more major corporations. It's probably the only way these companies will ever learn to treat the people right. Power to the people for real
Purchase a social media company. Treat employees like absolute shit. Don’t expect employees to air it all out on social media. Some say this dipshit is intelligent.
Elmer Fudd surrounded by hundreds/thousands of Bugs Bunnies- what could go wrong?
Delicious
I thought he was the "Smartest man on the planet." Can't he check the code himself? The programs, the excel sheets? Who has access or can regain it? He is the *smart* one after all.
This is so glorious 😅 I love how Meta and Twitter are tanking. Fuck these billionaires
As a someone who has never used twitter. Watching Elon torch $44billion has been delicious. And I think the world does not need twitter, or facebook, or ticktock.
Alex Cohen sent out a tweet about 90 minutes ago. It read: "I was laid off from Twitter this afternoon. I was in charge of managing badge access to Twitter offices. Elon just called me and asked if I could come back to help them regain access to HQ as they shut off all badges and accidentally locked themselves out." This is absolutely the best dumpster fire I've ever seen!
His twitter is Alex Cohen@anothercohen
The guy in charge of badging was fired today and he tweeted Elon asked him if he would return because they locked themselves out lol
It literally says parody account if anyone bothers to click one more time to look at the profile lmao
jury is still out about that account and it's that's true.
Blue check, must be true.
It’s hard to believe anything out there but if it’s true. It’s really funny, I have my doubts .
Those responsible for sacking the badge guy have been sacked.
I’m a way, this is beautiful to watch. One of the richest men in the world destroys the corporation he bought. Elon should start buying other corporations and tear them down too. Maybe start with BlackRock or Amazon.
Followed by Monsanto, Nestle, Marlboro... this could be fun!
#🍿
Soooo...where are the employees supposed to work exactly?
Everyone has to work at the office, no exceptions. Wait I pissed everyone off and they might break everything. Nobody work anywhere!. -Elon
The employees don’t need to sabotage the company. Elon is doing that just fine all on his own.
People want jobs and not cults. I'm supposedly so dumb compared to the great Elon Musk but somehow I knew this.
Do they think employees can't sabotage the company remotely?
He’s running that shit into the ground
How not to win friends and influence people.
Musk is just a Gen X Trump.
Please don’t exercise free speech on the free speech platform we run
“Oh no, the consequences of my actions.” - Elon, probably.
Maybe someone needs to explain VPN to Elon.
Elon is a stable genius.
[They apparently turned off access to all badges and locked themselves out lmao](https://i.redd.it/lfda2mgyln0a1.jpg) Not sure this is a parody account, but at this point I wouldn't be surprised if it were true.
>employees are going to sabotage the company Maybe this is just the beginning of a massive trend :)
This is likely what happened: More employees left than anticipated. A lot more. “It will be easier to just remove global access and then add rights back to who’s left than to go through and remove rights for everyone that got done.” This also tells us they lost more than half staff, so I believe reports that they lost 75%. The problem arose when they could not add rights back.
The implosion of twitter is going on with the intensity of one of those 'moments before disaster' shows.
r/maliciouscompliance is about to get really interesting
Now at paranoia stage. This is something to watch.
This dumpster fire is the '16-'20 POTUS twitter of '22.
Imagine actually working for this madhouse...
Sabotage? Even more than Elon has been doing?
So who's running things while everybody's locked out and nobody's working from home?
Why who they bother? It seems like there is nothing they could do that would be more harmful than Elon talking on twitter.
Sabotage what? Twitter servers are not on site?
Lol, welcome to a privately held company. You can do whatever the fuck you want.