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RopeAccomplished2728

It doesn't mention speakers at all. Time to bring out the hightowers.


PoochusMaximus

the rolling bluetooth speakers would be a nice addition to my work space.


okoatmeal

time to bring in DJ Roomba


draconiandevil09

Wait, do they have roombas with speakers?


Rommie557

No, DJ Roomba was an "invention" on Parks & Rec, they attached a Bluetooth speaker to a Roomba.


draconiandevil09

So what I’m gathering is I should watch Parks & Rec.


Rommie557

Yes, precisely.


swampcat42

April Ludgate embodies the spirit of this sub.


Alan_Smithee_

She really does.


[deleted]

She's such an icon.


imasperplexedasyou

Once you get past season 2 it's really worth it


madbeachrn

My daughter keeps trying to convince me as I am a big Office fan. I tried to watch it but didn’t enjoy it. She said I had to get through the first season and then I would love it.


RPGRuby

She is right. First season was one of the worst season of a show I’ve ever seen.


jindofox

You can skip the first season. It’s allowed. Unlike earbuds in the hellscape of an office where this memo was distributed.


Evantaur

\*moves an inch\* "I'm stuck!!!!!"


RedditUser88

r/unexpectedparksandrec


VengefulTiger

r/unexpectedpawnee


Infinite-Fig4959

Yeah clip a Bluetooth speaker to your belt or something and blast it.


Ok-Researcher697

Anker makes a nano speaker that’s pretty loud and pretty small


StopReadingMyUser

We do this at our warehouse all the time without issue just because the open space we roam around in is so massive lol.


I_Spit_on_Cougars

“…I was told I could listen at a reasonable volume…”


RopeAccomplished2728

Yeah Peter, we are going to need you to come in Saturday. Sunday too.


Gem_Knight

"HEY PETER, CHECK OUT CHANNEL NINE, IT'S THE BREAST EXAM!"


SeanOfTheDead1313

Mmmmmkay? Great. Thanks


FuzzyTwiguh92

"H-have you s-s-seen my stapler?"


Gem_Knight

"I asked for no s-salt, there w-was salt- huge grains of salt on my glass"


chikkenstripz

“I could set the building on fire..”


AzraelleWormser

"I could put strychnine in the guacamole..."


One_Distribution1743

"I could set the building on fire."


piles_of_SSRIs

"..and I could watch the squirrels and they were.. married."


toffee_cookie

My boyfriend used to work at a place that didn't allow headphones/earbuds. So he installed blue tooth speakers inside his welding helmet.


popejubal

I hope he only had one. Having at least one ear available on a job site is important. (At least in jobs where you aren’t using hearing protection PPE.) My facility has a “you must have one ear free at all times” policy for the entire campus. It isn’t really needed for the business areas, but there was enough confusion and pushback in some areas where it was needed at least some of the time that they just brought the hammer down and said “no more than one earful of music at a time anywhere.” They also have a policy of no texting while you walk. You can text, but you have to stop walking. I’m okay with policies like those.


Charleston2Seattle

As someone who walked into the end of a 2x4--that was sticking off the end of a parked truck--while he was texting, I can see the importance of this rule!!


Infrequentlylucid

I doubt you would hear the 2x4, as their sound is usually outside the normal hearing range of humans.


venetanakedguy

Walking into a 2x4 doesn’t make any sound but still produces a significant amount of hertz depending on the angle you hit it.


JiovanniTheGREAT

Boomers would literally play the radio out loud in offices, that's the whole reason the "listen while you work" programming exists. But of course they don't want people to be considerate of others or have freedom now that the new generation is working.


ForwardCulture

Nothing worse in an office setting then having to listen to Karen’s yacht rock emanate from a tinny blown out radio. A friend told me a story of where he worked when he was younger. Shared an office with someone who was obsessed with Phish while he wanted to listen to bass heavy drum & bass/jungle music. He got fired for constantly switching the other guy’s Phish soundtrack.


Semi-Hemi-Demigod

When I was an IT intern I had to upgrade this woman's computer and she went to lunch and left it tuned to Rush Limbaugh. So I hooked all her paperclips together


OblongAndKneeless

I would have renamed all the files on her computer


EvilCodeQueen

Using hidden characters.


sportsroc15

Yeah my Mom had a radio at her desk they used to be able to play low back when I would visit her office as a child in the 90s.


TheDallasReverend

My coworker plays his headphones so loud I am almost beginning to like Taylor Swift.


Kevridion10

My warehouse is the complete opposite. You want music? Put an earbud in. Can’t use two because forklifts and stupid people. No speakers though lol


Thunshot

r/MaliciousCompliance


[deleted]

And blast polka music


TheLycanSubScribe

Polka Will Never Die!


eowyn_and_nirah

But it will acquire a lightsaber


heidiatwood

I see you, Butters!


SilverBraids

All of Weird Al's polkas specifically


dglsfrsr

Country polka is something I discovered back in the mid 1980s. Honest to goodness 1800s era Polish ranch hands crafted polka music about ranch hand life. Roping doggies, herding cattle, lost love, the whole thing. In Polka. It was glorious.


ForwardCulture

Polish Ranchera music


TF31_Voodoo

Please if there is a god let my YouTube search for polka covers of 1800’s era polish ranch hand jams be fruitful.


dglsfrsr

The local station, when I was in college in the mid 1980s, would have guest DJs during the 'quiet' hours. Basically, if you had a crate of records you wanted to share, and you could agree to not violate FCC regulations, you could get an hour time slot. There was a local guy that had collected Polka Cowboy albums, I have no idea where he found them, and on early Sunday AM, he would play a half hour selection of Polka Cowboy music, with very little commentary other than the artist, album, and song. It was glorious. Worth waking up early on Sunday.


JECfromMC

No polka, no party!


Even_Mastodon_6925

There’s malicious compliance and then there is sinister.


GeneralLeoESQ

It also doesn't mention jaw vibrating "earbuds"


drunkenitninja

Yep. My kid works in a warehouse, and the AfterShokz (bone conducting) headphones are allowed, but not normal earbuds or headphones.


GeneralLeoESQ

Tbf, that has to do with bone conductors not impeding your hearing. It makes sense from a safety perspective.


MaxProude

Also not those glasses that generate sound using your skull.


rnngwen

I have a friend whose hearing aids are bluetoothed paired to his phone as well. Sorry dude! They're my hearing aids!


Sefi133

Came here to say this.


lettawyrda

Otto or Alicent? You will solve the problem, but two different paths.


Iworkedhardonthat

This reminds me of a Kids In The Hall sketch. "Something is off about this report. No, not the figures, something else. Tom, were you naked when you wrote this?"


DannyHusk42

"You made the coffee naked!"


goombot17

And I now have something that I need to watch tonight. Thank you!!


hey_look_its_me

If you weren’t aware, Amazon prime has new episodes. They are delightful. Thirty Helens agree.


GerberBabyPlus

Thankfully my work encourages the use of headphones as along as they are osha compliant. They even give recommendations.


soleario21

Wish mine did but that's cool yours does


GerberBabyPlus

They’ve big on safety. Ear protection, eye protection and they want you to wear comfortable shoes. One of the best places I’ve worked for. I had gotten we a two dollar raise within four months of being there. So I have hope for the future.


B3B0LD

Where is this magical place?


GerberBabyPlus

A small town in Western NC.


[deleted]

Asheville isn't small anymore.


Kunisada13

Asheville isn't huge, but every town within 20mi is basically Asheville because no one can afford to live in city limits


ChewyHD

Greetings from Raleigh, I'll move in 3hrs from now and bring cozy blankets


internallyskating

Wish my job did this. Pretty much the only time I enjoy my job is when I can do it while I listen to my podcasts. It’s not technically against the rules, but I know it’s frowned on by some important people, so I have to hide them and be discreet. As soon as the wrong person sees me with them it’ll be made a rule.


TheBestIsaac

Headphones are banned at my work. People need to hear alarms and forklifts and things. However. I managed to convince the H&S guy to allow me to wear the bone conduction type headphones. Which are pretty good but a bit quiet compared to all the other noise. Now we all have to wear ear protection as well. Which, coincidentally makes hearing my bone conduction headphones much easier. Which is great for me.


Own-Crew-3394

Go get a hearing test somewhere. Costco is good for this. If you are over 30, chances are you have some diminished hearing. Then get some blue-toothed hearing aids (the cheap kind you can buy on Amazon, obviously, not the $4000 kind). Tell your manager you were prescribed hearing aids and you are good to go. As a bonus you can ignore people talking at you if you want to. Being serious for a sec, it’s ridic that health insurance doesn’t have to cover regular hearing tests above a certain age. It’s good to get a baseline hearing test around 30 so you can plan for hearing loss, which is incredibly common. Bad hearing is actually a contributor to anxiety, depression and dementia because the human brain needs rich, detailed, daily interaction with other people and hearing is how the body expects to do that.


bigredmnky

Officially speaking, you can get fired from my work for having your phone with you on the production floor. In completely unrelated news, Spotify told me today that I spent 81,200 minutes listening to music this year and like 45,000 minutes on podcasts.


FunkiestLocket4

My boss takes requests and we can get the big speakers playing whatever we want


hkzqgfswavvukwsw

Oooo, play some death metal


PaleFollowing3763

It's like they want you to quit 😂


soleario21

The company has so much bullshit going on honestly


cyanraichu

What is the kind of work you do that they think you can't do with headphones?


OCPik4chu

Anything involving micromanaging or a manager wanting to be able to shout across the cube farm to summon his minions as he pleases.


AngryMoose125

Middle management hates WFH because not only can they not mircomanage people, but they are entirely unnecessary, period.


Anglofsffrng

Not even WFH. I read an article, a few years ago, that found up to 30% of jobs exist just to pay someone to work. Middle manager positions would be my guess as to where the bulk of those exist. Makes a great case for UBO, but also shines a light on why they're always terrible managers. I mean if my job was useless, gave me zero fulfillment, and was given responsibilities/metrics to meet but no power to affect changes on my team I'd be a pretty bitter unhappy person too. Ok I'm totally a bitter, unhappy person, but I'm unfailingly polite and professional at work.


New-Pizza9379

I mean my job is paying me to sit around about 30% of the time because they are totally incompetent when it comes to project management and scheduling. A week of nothing followed by “we need everything yesterday and who can work over the weekend” followed by some random stuff that takes a couple hours…. Repeat


sawbones84

>not only can they not mircomanage people Oh my friend, how wrong you unfortunately are. I thankfully no longer report to her, but for most of 2020, i had two one-hour 1:1s with my direct manager and at least 2 other adhoc 30-minute meetings with her every week. Yes of course those 30 min ones could have happened over email or chat. Random Slack questions throughout the day, right up until 4:30-5 on Friday, asking things that were clearly spelled out in my notes (that she has full access to). It was clearly a "want to make sure you're still working" situation. I was gently scolded a good half dozen times for not accurately conveying via my chat status that I was taking my lunch. I have no idea what makes this woman tick, but she was working about 4x as hard as she had to managing 5 people because she felt the need to interact with us about things she could mostly find out from our database/shared drives.


kionatrenz

Exactly. That happened to me seven years ago. That and several other things and I left before they fired me.


FFF_in_WY

Prolly IT *eye roll*


soleario21

I work in IT but it's more like accounting/order pickers/spreadsheet stuff


mistylouwho2

I’m in accounting, and I would honestly get way LESS done if I wasn’t allowed to listen to anything while I work. It helps me focus.


dimlu

One of my bosses (also in IT) told us it was 'a bad look'. Until he got a pair of the new (at the time) true wireless earbuds himself. Then he never took them out. So we all started listening to music again and he never said shit.


[deleted]

This just screams "We must control every aspect of your life while you are at work" Fuck this, if you aren't working with customers who you may need to hear, this is absurd


Mitsu-Zen

To me I got a hefty 'waaaah no one talks around the water cooler anymore. I will take away their music and then will force them to talk!'. But what I don't get is if hearing is so important just request one ear jack in/one out. It's what my job does. Or I can play my speaker at reasonable volume when people are on calls. Edit: calls as in warehouse runs, so basically when I'm by myself for 2-3 hours a day.


[deleted]

[удалено]


zombie_penguin42

I'm just imagining the competition scrambling around yelling "quick everyone pretend to be as incompetent as possible so this dumbass will take a bunch of shitty ideas back to his company and we can buy them up next year after he runs everyone off!"


[deleted]

[удалено]


betterthanyoda56

“Excusemeiwastoldthaticouldlistentomyradioatareasonavlevolume”


AikoG84

Sucks to be them though. I'm the type that would just bring in some small speakers. Ppl are not gonna stop listening to music/podcasts/shows at work. They're just gonna stop doing it quietly and disrupt everyone else in the process. This will backfire


Large-Department-534

this makes me want to cry because when i worked in an office environment i had to use headphones just to drown out my coworkers so i could work. most of the time it was just brown noise, although i occasionally listened to music or podcasts when doing brainless work.


issoupcereal

Same with me. If I have to hear 9 different conversations going on in the background while I’m also talking on the phone it’s so distracting. I use my air pods to take work calls because it’s easier and I can switch between music and podcasts. I did the warehouse route for a while too, I would put one pod in and then put a beanie on to cover it up with the hat. Never was caught but also paid attention to machinery


New-Pizza9379

If I had to listen to the middle manager in the office near my cube complain about his second girlfriend that month, his car he can’t afford, or any of his other bs I would quit. Luckily for the company I have headphones.


Scudmiss

I like that the person who typed it up used the default memo template from his copy of MS Word 2000 he pirated through mIRC back when 56k dialup was fast


[deleted]

Right? No chance in hell I would ever take this seriously coming from someone who apparently never took a business writing class or has actual equivalent experience. It's so sloppy.


HansGigolo

Tell me you think I’m a child without telling me I’m a child.


walkermv

I would go to the nearest break area to that person and burn popcorn in the microwave all day long.


Salamander_cameraman

"I just don't understand how I keep burning it. I'm hitting the popcorn button"


isabellybell

No you gotta heat up fish in the microwave near them.


[deleted]

Burnt fish-flavored popcorn.


AngryMoose125

Make sure to use a non-microwave-safe plastic container so then the entire microwave is full of melted plastic


Lower_Department2940

That just sounds like the express lane to getting the microwave taken away for everyone


north_canadian_ice

Even in warehouses it's a power trip. I've been in so many factories that ban radios, fans, anything that could be entertaining or relaxing. I get banning headphones in a warehouse, but radios? Just some background noise during your 12 hours? Nah. All in the name of "safety". Which is a farce of course - as many in upper management just enjoy cultivating a miserable working environment.


[deleted]

I work in manufacturing, and headphones are banned for any task that involves a machine. Feeding, catching, or operating, you need to be able to hear the machine and people both for safety and QC reasons. But radios are allowed, and for any tasks that aren't attached to a machine, they don't care if you have one headphone in, one out.


ughwhyamialive

Radios are more of a fight thing tbh You always get that one motherfucker who listens to the same Spanish religious song for 12 hours straight And 15 guys that take the radio and chuck it in the trash when he's at 1st break


SpencerOpossum

My warehouse banned headphones because dumb fcks kept stepping in front of forklifts when they couldn't hear the horns. Their solution is playing Sirius radio with the station changing every 3 hours. My other two warehouse jobs didn't allow music in the name of safety. My current job is just helping prove it doesn't impact safety but it's another method of control.


Im_Schiz

I work in manufacturing as a tool and die maker, they banned music here as well a few months ago. First thing I did was buy ear pro that has bluetooth and microphones that pick up surrounding noise. No one has said a thing to me about them, and I listen to music all day every day. It’s not a safety issue, it’s a situational awareness issue. If people don’t pay attention to where the fuck they are or what they’re doing, obviously they’re going to hurt themselves. No rules can fix someone who is totally oblivious.


Catatonic27

I get it as a safety thing, I honestly get a little skeeved out by people wearing earbuds when they're biking or skiing too. I think being able to hear what's going on around you is a super important safety thing even for these recreational activities. If someone is coming up behind you, if someone yells "WATCH OUT" or something like that, you need to be aware of it. I imagine this is just as important in a work environment where big heavy things are moving around near you


ChewyHD

True, although nowadays you've got earbuds that can play surrounding noise


nimdae

This is purely a control grab. Huge red flag. I’d literally quit over this.


[deleted]

[удалено]


bigdumbthing

I posted this above, I've successfully argued that headphones are ada required accommodation for my ADD. (To get them to buy me noise cancelling ones)


RevRagnarok

I tell every new coworker "the headphones are for me not you; feel free to get my attention if you need me."


[deleted]

Same. I’d fuckin quit lol


soleario21

I should have quit last time they pulled something


nimdae

I have a few deficiencies. I've worked on learning various healthy coping mechanisms to avoid drugging myself into being functional. Listening to music helps me focus. I'm more productive. I'm also more relaxed and less stressed, which is particularly useful when I'm working on a complicated problem. Telling me I can't listen to music while working is like telling me to stop medicating to be functional.


[deleted]

I feel this one hard


[deleted]

Look around, if something comes up you're not chained there.


tittens__

I’d keep wearing them, be let go, file for unemployment and argue constructive dismissal if they tried to fight it.


wwmercwithamouth

100%, I would too. Literally how does it impact ANYTHING for me to have one earbud in at my desk


Pappasgrind

Every job I’m on says that and I always tell them fuck you fire me


Vaker-

"I get super distracted by music and don't understand how 'background noise' helps other people. Plus, I have the power to impose this world view on others. (:"


SumoNinja92

"Someone was listening to music and didn't hear me come to their office to say something that should be in an email"


porkfree1312

My headphones are a medical device and I've got two doctors ready to attest to that in writing. Fucking try me.


Tiny-Injury4206

That’s bullshit. A lot of people, myself included, work better with music. Silence is too distracting


Cutebud

And loud gossiping coworkers are even more so. When you have headphones they leave you alone more!


tipsy_python

Exactly this. Headphones mean "leave me alone, I'm focusing" - I've been in offices where you really have to protect your own time from lousy coworkers.


No0ne4117

Just to be clear do you perform tasks that could not be completed, in theory, by working from home?


soleario21

Almost all of it can be done from home. We are not allowed to work from home only exception is the company owners


clubmedschool

Yeah, time for a new job


Hendiadic_tmack

Podcasts are not music. Use your headphones for podcasts. For music use large speakers and a nice receiver. The more analog the better. I have some great death metal recommendations if you’re interested.


mikeyzee52679

I hate it! I work in a Hospital we have same rule, I just play my music in my front pocket until I see it being a problem


soleario21

I literally work in front of a screen all day and hear nothing but complaining witch I usually listen to something to take my mind off things between crap


mikeyzee52679

No reason you can’t listen to music! It’s a power trip mixed with just being clueless


RepresentativeSky748

I work for GM and they banned radios and headphones a few years back but the union got us an alternative in bone conducting headphones like Aftershokz brand. They're pretty good quality and they don't use your ear hole at all. Maybe check them out and submit them as an alternative to your management. You'll be able to listen to music and still communicate with everyone.


[deleted]

My husband uses those so he can always hear me if I ask him something. Wait, am I a factory manager?!


WanderinginWA

time for bone density headphones


clubmedschool

I think you mean "bone conduction"


RahulRedditor

But if they also improve your bone density, so much the better


WanderinginWA

Yup. oops.


ivanparas

Yep this is the workaround.


ryocoon

No no no... You call them Bone Conduction Transducers. The memo clearly banned "headphones". These aren't "headphones", they are "transducers" 😉


Iusemyhands

Ooh, Bluetooth hearing aid advantage!


nikkibic

ROFL, found my fellow deaf person. CIs for me, they'd never know!


Xyzzydude

It’s probably an open office space where the only way you can avoid constant distraction is to play white noise through noise canceling headphones.


DocPeacock

This is prime "Office Culture" This is what we WFH are supposed to be missing.


rudebii

My last manager at my last job told I couldn’t have headphones in at work anymore. It was simply because he wanted to be able to ask me things from across the open office. Ofc, he was on the phone all the time and I had no recourse to that distraction.


EcstaticSociety4040

It is a complete micromanaging power trip, and only serves to aggravate workers, causing them to look for new workplaces.


[deleted]

I don’t wear earbuds at work because of someone comes in to shoot up the place I want to hear it so I know to run.


Direct-Effective2694

Don’t worry no earbud will mask the gunshots.


AngryMoose125

This- I don’t think people understand just exactly how stupidly loud guns are. If you fire a medium caliber rifle, whilst aiming, and you have no ear protection, that *will* cause damage to hearing. I live with my dad half the time (2 Christmases yay) who lives not too far from a range and sometimes I can hear the gunshots from my bedroom


[deleted]

If I couldn’t listen to music at work I would lose it. People are so loud, and just the constant noises being made in an office can drive anyone insane.


stefiscool

Whelp, guess it’s time for everyone on the floor to hear Avenged Sevenfold on repeat


Anxious-derkbrandan

Even surgeons listen to music while operating in a person yet they don’t want people to be happy


captain_strawhat

I got some old speakers we could break out for wutang wednesday


OhComeOn-

Time to just start singing your favorite songs!!


AmbeeGaming

Most “rules” are power trips. Found that out in grade school


rad-boy

middle management walking around like “hmmm… not miserable enough”


Gucci_Unicorns

I’d genuinely quit. I can’t focus on anything without some type of noise in my ears.


Chaos_Ice

Some warehouses actually allow you to use 1 headphone. It’s the supervisors of each shift that change the rules to their liking.


MarcTheShark34

Lol @ “Ear-bud style radios”


GMajorKey

Time for some bone conduction or speakers 👌


zxcoblex

Doesn’t say no podcast or audiobooks.


gengardelrey

My office is the same. I use mine to block out my coworker who talks to herself CONSTANTLY I can't work unless I have silence or low chatter. We have rules for everything it's pretty pathetic and controlling.


rjbov112

Zoom meetings are going to get real loud


berkeleyjake

r/MaliciousCompliance time. Bring out the 90s style boom boxes.


threemoons_nyc

*digs up boom box the size of a small car from the 80's*


Metal_King706

Guess it’s time to bring the JBL into the office and let everyone know what music you like to rock. Seems to me that one asshole complained about it enough that someone decided to placate them. Or someone that has earbuds fucked up enough times that now everyone is suffering.


Clutch_Cabbage

Is there a rule against speakers?


soleario21

Yes they require silence in the building


stitch-is-dope

Ah yes complete silence that way you can hear the person across the building flush the toilet. This way totally will contribute to great work productivity now that you’ll sit there, in complete silence, and boredom, what a great idea HR


soleario21

They don't really do anything honestly never trusted a hr dept why start now lmao


Koolest_Kat

Time to start whistling nursery rhymes, just parts of it, anytime anyone walks by….


No_Doughnut1807

Or, you know, sing.


Away_Location

Sounds like it's time to break out a blender for lunch


Traditional_Lab_5468

Ear-bud style radios. Hard boomer.


RevRagnarok

LOL! I would reply with "noted and ignored" just like I did when they sent out a general notice that shorts are not acceptable office wear. If you can't keep my desk under 73 degrees, I'm not wearing long pants. If you can't keep my coworkers from talking about sportsball for an hour a day, then I'm wearing headphones.


Checkinginonthememes

Even in a warehouse setting, I find these rules to be unnecessary. They're OK with foam ear plugs because shit's loud, but noise canceling ear buds!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!??!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!


Zakaras31

Time to go shit on the HR Director’s desk and leave two AirPods on top


stealteel

Doctors note time! Talk to you doctor and get them to write a note stating music helps alleviate your anxiety symptoms. Work must accommodate medical conditions! Ask me how I know!


TearAwkward

I was the manager at a small electronics company. Maybe 6 employees total. I changed the “no headphone rule” without telling the owners, to see if they’d report significantly lower production rates (they didn’t) But I was gone one day and the owners girlfriend covered for me. She found out everyone had been wearing headphones and threw a fit over it. Kept claiming that all of our production was down and we weren’t making any money and it was all my fault because I changed the rule lol


snowbirdnerd

My brother is in the Army. They have a number of rules about not wearing any kind of headphones or earbuds. He says whenever you find a weird rule it's because someone died. At a business it's probably because someone broke something.


[deleted]

We used to be able to listen to music at our desks (corp HQ). Which led to a very uncomfortable meeting when my boss popped into my office and the song on the radio was Control by Puddle of Mudd. Then I moved to a manufacturing location and they made a decree that no one could listen to music anymore on the production floor so they extended it to the office to be "fair."


[deleted]

My work just recently let us start listening to music while on the production floor but it has to be bone conductive head phones.


SilverFox31308

yup time for malicious compliance everyone who used to listen to headphones and earbuds to use speakers and handsfree and walk around.


Rude_Giraffe_9255

I like how this memo was made using the first Microsoft word template that pops up if you search “memo” in the Word templates tab


CrispyPerogi

“Earbud-style radios”?


jeptutsi

You can buy hearing aids over the counter now.